Tafsir Surah Talaq #05

Haitham al-Haddad

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Channel: Haitham al-Haddad

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The speakers discuss the complicated process of marriage, including the interference between father and his wife, the need for emotional support, and the importance of avoiding interfere with family members' opinions. They stress the need for caution, avoiding being interrupted by family members, and avoiding double-standing and giving false information to spouses. The speakers also stress the importance of following laws and avoiding drinking alcohol, and stress the need to be mindful of one's behavior and avoid double-standing. They end with a discussion of the law and boundaries of Islam, and the importance of avoiding embarrassment and avoiding giving too many false assumptions.

AI Generated Transcript ©


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De La salatu salam ala rasulillah.

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We said that this surah Is it a child

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of different account different rulings

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regarding Pollock

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and last time we spoke about the rulings of

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some of the rulings of the A da.

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So later, then we started to talk about lack of originality in order for Regina Illa, Tina, the T Mobile arena,

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don't force them to leave their houses.

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And they should not leave.

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Except when they commit and opens in the factory shutting mobila.

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And now we will continue talking about that. First of all,

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as we said that it is the wisdom of Allah, Allahu Allah that He commanded

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women and

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he commanded husbands and wives

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to remain together in the matrimonial house after the divorce.

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And we said as we said yesterday, that there is a lot of wisdom behind this. And the main wisdom is that the reconciliation will be a very easy process. Otherwise, it will be a very difficult process. You remember we said that,

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if it is difficult for the husband, or sherea, wants to make it easy for the husband to get her wife to get his wife back.

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And we said

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that if the husband has to go through a lengthy process to bring his wife back, then he might not bring her back. Moreover, if she leaves her matrimonial house, she will go definitely to who to her parents house, to her family house, or maybe to her friend's house.

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It will be very difficult for the husband to bring her back. Because

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imagine, she went to her father house. Of course, her father will be angry. He will say that this has been we have honored him and we gave him our daughter. And he divorced her as it happened with

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one of the companions mapping. And when his sister was divorced, and her husband wants to get married,

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he said no, no, after I have honored you and I would you my sister, you did not honor her, you did not honor us and you divorce her, I would not allow her to go back to you. Same thing will happen. The father will become emotional. And he will say no, you will not take her back.

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Imagine if the father was not there. Imagine if the mother was there or the brother was there.

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It will be even more difficult. And I don't know whether I told you or not. shefali Rahim Allah Tada. He said that he was as a judge in Syria for over 50 years. And he said his own experience confirms that the main reason for the marriage differences or marriage problems that lead in most cases to marriage breakdown is the interference between what the formula is I just came from the Islamic Sharia council now. And I dealt with two divorce cases the first divorce case, the main reason for the divorce, three divorces, the main reason for the divorce was the family.

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And there is another point maybe I did not mention it when their family interferes, what will happen, the husband will become emotional

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and he might become aggressive towards his in laws, to his father in law to her to his brother in law and so on. When he becomes aggressive,

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they will not forget his rudeness and he will not forget their rudeness to him.

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And later on. Even if he lives with his wife. He will have a very negative attitude towards her family.

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Yes, and they will have a very negative attitude towards him.

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That is not recommended at all.

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Why? Because at the end of the day, the wife

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looks at her husband as her husband. But it doesn't mean that he is everything in her life. Because at the end of the day, her parents are her parents. Her father is her father, her mother is her mother, she will not abandon them, for her

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brother, for her husband. And that's why

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I always say, to advise the spouses, avoid what I call it as the dirty corner, the dirty corner where you corner your Mater, you corner your heart, your husband or your corner your wife, by saying, for example, the husband saying to his wife, either me or your family?

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Yes, this is a dirty corner. Because even if your wife said to you, that no, I prefer you over my family, this is fake.

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This is not real. Even if she said it genuinely now, later on, when she has problems with you, she will regret saying that statement.

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So don't imagine that she will say such a statement genuinely and don't force her to say such a statement. Yes, don't to do this. Moreover, I always say to brothers, in order to have a good wife, happy wife, make sure that her mother is happy with you all the time.

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Yeah,

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because if her mother is happy with you, it is very likely that she will be she will encourage her daughter to be happy with you. Some scholars said that if you are looking for a wife, look for a wife that has no mother

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doesn't mean that you kill her mother and then get married to her.

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Yeah, but

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the point is, try to minimize the interference of what of the other side

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you sister try to limit the interference of his family

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in a very wise way and you as a husband try to limit the interference of hair family, both of you should work on this both of you and as we said parents themselves they should be mature enough not to interfere in the marriage, even by good intention or you know so many cases, where the parents interfere with a good intention. And it ended with

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one of the reasons because when the husband gets married,

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he wants to appear as the man in front of his wall, the lion in the den, if he sees that her father is giving him advices and is interfering. He will feel that he is what belittled in front of his wife. He doesn't want to be seen like this. So he tries to keep himself away from her family and then problems is stopped. So the wise

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man,

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the Wise father should let her daughter feel that her husband is the lawyer of the den. And he doesn't interfere at all. And he doesn't want to even to advise them. Okay, maybe once every while but leave them leave them alone as we said. Part of this leaving them alone is what they once the wife is divorced. She should stay in her husband's house because that will help them as a mother no other says that.

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Daddy camera that will help them to reconcile.

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Okay, Allah Allah, Allah says Allah

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subhana wa origina you should not force them to leave, and they should not leave.

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In fact, some scholars said that

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if the husband I don't know whether I mentioned this or not, if the husband divorced his wife, and he was

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traveling for business or whatever.

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Once he divorces her, she and he was she was with her family. She should leave her family and stay in his house. Maybe she will wait for him. Maybe they will. He will come back and then they will reconsider.

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Allah Allah says not to hurry do not mean what?

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Boo tea?

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We will take a nap

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from their houses,

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not from your houses.

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Yes. But the house is normally attributed to who?

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To the husband.

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But here it was attributed to

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the wife nimbu, Tina,

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Allah, that Allah Allah Allah wants to give the wife a sense of what

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sense of feeling that this is is still your house?

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Keep it. Yes, it is not penthouse because why she feels once she feels that this is his house.

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It is very likely that she will walk. She will leave. Yes. Moreover, if the husband feels that this is his house, not her house, she will say this is my house you leave now.

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Okay.

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One more thing, which is what this ayah

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says, Let's do one I mean, boo Tina, what about the one who divorce for the third time, the irrevocable divorce.

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After the first time, the wife should witness the

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same thing after the second divorce, after the third divorce, the wife will witness that.

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But in order to make sure that she is not pregnant, however, the husband cannot take care but agree or not.

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Yes, the husband won't be able to take care of that. So what's the point of staying in his house? In fact, once she stays in his house, she is a stranger and he's a stranger, she should observe a job for a job

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Yes.

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First of all, we should make sure that everyone understand that after the third divorce the has the wife is not a wife any more.

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So, if he dies during the day he she will not inherit him if she dies during that that he will inherit her he will not inherit

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she should observe full

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he has no right over her she has no right over him whatsoever.

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Yes, and

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we always say that they have to be careful and unfortunately,

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this is a common mistake many people have any method and Sharia council just now I came in from a case the husband divorced her the first time he got her back then the second time he got her back then the third time then they came he was heard the third time just a few days ago. They came just now I saw them

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and I told them after interviewing both of them that it is very unlikely that you will have any other chance they said we want to so on so we spoke to so and so he said I said with all due respect to those colors, they should not answer those questions over the phone. This is one thing.

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The second thing is

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it is up to you.

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Okay, I am giving you the factual based on the circumstances in front of me.

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And I am warning you it is not a matter of shopping.

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They said Yeah, but you know divorce in menses. Some scholars say that it is invalid. I said yeah, but the vast majority of scholars said that it is valid.

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Why do we need to leave the opinion of the vast majority of scholars just because of one or two? They said yeah, but even taymiyah and even

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and even I said and him and women Sharpie and in American Imam Abu hanifa and their followers all say that it is valid.

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So anyway, it is up to you.

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But you will

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face the consequences before a lie. I have nothing to do with you. Okay. Then they started to of course they started to cry because they realize that it is the end of their marriage.

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The wife says but I have it

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Children. I said

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divorces divorce. He said, but no other way. Can we if we see another one, I said to them, this is how it is anyway.

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So

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this is an example.

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Yeah, I was going to say yeah, no, I forgot another case, I saw

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another case I saw, which was almost the same. And I told them, they said, What is the consequences? I said, Hello. That's it. She's a stranger. He's a stranger she can after that they marry another person. What, why? Etc, etc. Anyway,

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when she was crying, and she was about to collapse, he hugged her.

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Yeah.

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I said to them,

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just for your information, as I said, You are a stranger. She's not your wife anymore. Okay, he asked her to console her. But this is the understanding that many people have the misunderstanding. Many people have that they think that no, still there is a relationship after that. And I always warn brothers and sisters, that they should be very, very careful. countless number of cases where the husband

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after three divorces. Yeah,

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go to his wife or stay, they stay in the same house. And, yeah, a man and a woman alone in the house, and they

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become intimate.

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And I remember a case, when they came, they were intimate. And they came and then they started to ask, yeah, but the first divorce was invalid because it was during the menses, etc. so on so so on. So I said to them, Well, I have no other answer. And they went to another chef, and he told them yeah.

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Okay, the first divorce was invalid. So you can go back to it to each other.

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And in fact, you have you had intimacy. So that is that serves as a redo. Yeah. Which is a big problem. Anyway, I don't want to get into this. But

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even some scholars who say that divorce during menses is invalid. They say that if the husband accepted it as a divorce,

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then it is a divorce. Yeah, even the scholars who say that it is invalid, it is not a divorce. They say if the husband accepted it as a divorce, it is a valid divorce. Yes. Okay. Anyway, the point here is, after the third pillar, shall she stay in her husband's house or not?

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Some scholars said yes. Some other scholars said no. Because he is not my home. She's not my home for him. And what if they stay together? Maybe something might take place between them. So that's why it's better that they just

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depart completely from each other. To be honest with you, I don't understand why some scholar said that she should stay in her husband's house. Yeah.

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In her ex husband house because he his ex husband, some scholars said that this ayah is talking about the first divorce. The second divorce on Lee is not talking about what

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the third divorce Why? Because Allah Allah Allah says lactoferrin ohana mean bu t hin and after the third divorce,

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it is not had house any more. Yeah.

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There was an incident that took place during the time of the prophet SAW Salem, one of the companions Fatima been to face was married to one of the companions or be helped. And then he was heard the third day was when he was with Alibaba, in one of the other word, so he sent her the third divorce.

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Then she said there are a similar law. He sent me the third divorce. So that's it. Where do I stay now? Then the proposal I sent them said you can stay with Ebony

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Maktoum with Abdullah bin ami Mach two because he is a blind person, you can stay in

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his house.

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So

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that was the third divorce for her. She used this as a delayed that Yeah. Then she asked for she asked for maintenance. She asked for maintenance

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and she was told that you don't have any maintenance because helaas it is what the third divorce, no maintenance whatsoever. No even housing for you whatsoever. That's why she said Yeah. So, Lola then where do I stay? Then the province I seldom said to stay in my

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house, yeah.

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This was the incident of Fatima meant to face and this is regarding the

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after the third divorce, which is the irrevocable divorce, same thing to be applied

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same thing to be applied. If a marriage dissolution took place, yes, if a marriage dissolution took place or

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or

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or even let alone if a marriage dissolution took place first took place then of course she cannot to stay in his house. Okay because of what we have said

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by

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this is lack of return I mean beauty Nevada, Regina Illa Tina Shetty mobila What is this? What are Dena Illa? Yeah, Tina, Tisha T Mobile, you know, they should not go You should not force them to go to live, except if they commit what an open sim? What is this and opens in this caller said the meaning of this is they should not,

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you should not force them to leave their houses, except when they commit a sin.

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Then you can force them to leave their houses. Then the scholars differ on this sin that allows the husband to push his wife or to ask his wife or maybe to to force his wife to leave the matrimonial house. Some scholar said that it is the Zina.

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she commits a Xena. phakisa mobiola here refers to Xena. Yes, some other scholars said

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when she starts to be rude to her in laws, when she starts to be rude to his family. Yeah.

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And the study of problem of interface. There was one narration, one popping up interface was asked about the ADA of

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the irrevocable divorce.

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She said that

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she has a duck, but she does not stay in her husband's house. Because

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she has no right over him in terms of maintenance and other things.

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Then,

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thanks. They told her No, that is not true. She said I left the house the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said that you have no right over any maintenance and Chima you leave his house. I shall not be allowed to and I said in a fear Allah. You left his house or you were requested to leave his house because you were rude to his parents. And that's why you are allowed or you are commanded to leave his house. Yes, this is one narration

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it can be but the bottom line is, first of all, the scholars have two views regarding the

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irrevocable divorce, should the wife stay in his and her ex husband house or not? And we go for the opinion that she should not stay in his house because of what because of the possibility of heroin between them. Yes. And here the houses are small etc, etc. And we have seen so many stories where the husband and his ex wife become intimate and then they stopped asking for the end effectors and solutions they

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One point. The second point is

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if the wife commits an open sin, then her husband can ask her to leave opens in the first interpretation is committing Zina. The second interpretation is what

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if he becomes

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rude to his family? Some other scholars said the third interpretation is an open sim just any open sim and the third the fourth interpretation is if she had if she started to have new shoes by herself,

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yeah, she is leaving by herself, which is new shoes which is what which is a sin by itself. Okay, what I have Regina Illa Yeah, Tina ishutin Medina, then Allah Allah Allah says what what he will do the law.

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These are the limits of Allah.

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These What are these?

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First of all,

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it refers to everything that has been discussed.

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Yes.

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indica la comunidad de la comunidad de. This is one thing. Well, actually, this is another thing that occurred to me butina. But a

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lot of beauty now. And

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this is the third and the fourth thing, what tilka all of this, including, of course, are to do the law, the limits of the law.

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By the way, the word the limits of the law came in for an

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you know,

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in two meanings in two minutes. It came in the Koran.

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And it means

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that means Yeah, it means the limits. As this is the limits the boundaries don't cross the boundaries. And it means what?

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By Okay, before I say what it means, I'll ask you in in,

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in sort of, in, in sort of,

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in cm, whether to Bashi ruhuna, anthem hockey funaki masajid,

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kilka dolla, dolla dolla g after that.

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La

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la

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capitale de la

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la

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casa de la falletta prabhu.

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Yes, but here Allah Allah Allah says

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de la casa de la, H.

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Woman

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in the eye of

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the other I have a lot of

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things in our city from the

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documentary Akuma

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Allah yo Pima de la

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de la. Yes. Well, we teamed up to do

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what I documented.

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Mr. Aquino can be documented

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in haka Allah, tema de la.

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Yes, La La prima de la, la la, la la macchina after the big tilaka coup de la de

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da de de Leyva development officer.

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Yes.

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By the way, this area.

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This ayah has the word to do the law four times in the

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yes or no.

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A balaclava can be Moroccan it can be

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sofala

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documento kotomi matita Mona Shan Illa Allah, Allah Allah tema de la. This the first one, then 15 EMA todo de la sala de una Halima FIM after that V.

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Yes.

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Till Kappa du de la the third one. One a de la e

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vadoma. nafsa.

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Sorry, didn't have to do the law. He felt that they do. Want me to do the law. The fourth one

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For a common volume on photons

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and

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photons, this is the development of the whole arm because if it is mentioned twice one word if it is mentioned twice or three times then it looks out here it is mentioned one phrase was mentioned four times and it looks very smooth.

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So the I have

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the I have up here

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with Tim capital the law woman to do the law

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and in the other way to do the law

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what is the difference between the eye of

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a teacup and the eye of Allah?

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Then Allah Allah Allah says to do the law what

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karate means what

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Don't

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Don't come close to them

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Yes, Don't come close to them. But Will my dad do the law here?

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Which means or what

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to do the law fell out that they do

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not follow

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what is what does it mean?

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No, no, no. Don't go beyond them.

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Don't try and guess but till Kappa do Don't lie. Don't come near to them. How come and the first one says Don't come near to them. And then the second Allah Allah Allah says don't go beyond them.

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Is it a clear

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Yes or no?

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outcome? What is the answer?

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First of all, is it clear? Well, the here Sophia is

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the question is it clear first?

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What is

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the in the ayah Latika don't come What?

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close to them?

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And the I have what?

00:32:26--> 00:32:35

Open up? Don't go beyond them which means that you can close them and you pass them and

00:32:36--> 00:32:38

so how come?

00:32:42--> 00:32:51

That is the question How come a la de la Allah says don't go beyond the means that you came near them and you pass them

00:32:54--> 00:32:59

to do the law? In the eyes of Allah Attica means what?

00:33:00--> 00:33:00

by

00:33:01--> 00:33:09

the mahat him the heroine, so don't come closer to what the hell?

00:33:10--> 00:33:34

Because we're not gonna want to Hakuna masajid don't have intimacy with your spouses while you are in a teacup? Yes. So this is hella in the eye of Allah. Allah Allah Allah didn't say it is haram to devote but He what? He sets limits, limits these are the boundaries of Allah.

00:33:35--> 00:33:48

Okay, stay within the boundaries don't transgress the boundaries. Clear. So it is not talking about how long it is talking about what limits don't cross those limits.

00:33:50--> 00:33:50

Is it clear?

00:33:52--> 00:34:02

By Okay, Allah Allah Allah says 14 Capital de la mejor de Du de la The one who transgresses the limits of Allah.

00:34:03--> 00:34:03

What

00:34:04--> 00:34:05

are the volume and

00:34:07--> 00:34:12

and in the ayah that we have recited the palapa malata

00:34:13--> 00:34:14

Allah Allah Allah says,

00:34:16--> 00:34:20

Allah if Allah aka homo body move.

00:34:22--> 00:34:28

So the one those who transgress the boundaries of Allah, Allah Allah, they are the wrongdoers.

00:34:29--> 00:34:35

And here, we do the law for a man after he has transgressed.

00:34:38--> 00:34:44

vollum and if so, who? Because what? Because he committed Haram, first of all, agree.

00:34:46--> 00:34:46

agree or not.

00:34:49--> 00:34:53

So he will bear the consequences of the alarm when

00:34:55--> 00:34:56

you're not there.

00:34:57--> 00:35:00

But it seems that this is generally

00:35:01--> 00:35:13

Want to do the lifehacker.com very moon, that they will commit to one against themselves in the dunia before they are.

00:35:15--> 00:35:15

Clear.

00:35:16--> 00:35:21

And this is what many people neglect that the mafia.

00:35:23--> 00:35:25

And once you don't

00:35:27--> 00:35:40

stay within the boundaries of Allah, Allah, Allah and you transgress the boundaries that have been set by Allah, Allah Allah. First of all, you will cause harm to yourself in the dunya.

00:35:42--> 00:35:51

Yes, later on, it will be announced here for later on, because it is amasya. And you don't repent, you will What?

00:35:52--> 00:36:05

You will bear the consequences in the hereafter. Which means my dear brothers and sisters, that we should not think that the mouse here has consequences

00:36:07--> 00:36:13

on the app in the app, only, but they have consequences in the dounia as well.

00:36:14--> 00:36:34

Yeah. And in fact, those consequences will harm you first. That's why you have committed the law against yourself. By what, by not being confined by the limiter for La Jolla. Is it clear?

00:36:35--> 00:36:43

Is it clear at this point? And Impala imperata. As I said, many people put themselves

00:36:45--> 00:36:48

in too many problems, because they don't

00:36:50--> 00:36:55

follow the guidelines of Sharia regarding what

00:36:57--> 00:37:01

they put what they put themselves into so many home.

00:37:02--> 00:37:03

So many homes.

00:37:05--> 00:37:06

We mentioned those who

00:37:07--> 00:37:11

divorce once, twice, three times, four times 10 times.

00:37:13--> 00:37:16

And they think that still they are their wives.

00:37:17--> 00:37:25

And we say Subhanallah you've been cohabiting with her you are you have been cohabiting with her in harem. She's not your wife.

00:37:27--> 00:37:27

And then

00:37:29--> 00:37:30

other examples.

00:37:31--> 00:37:32

If

00:37:33--> 00:37:35

the husband does not, if the husband

00:37:36--> 00:37:40

or both of them, did not watch, watch out that

00:37:42--> 00:38:07

she might get married to another man, she might have children from the other man, but in reality, she is married to the first man then she will have a question, who is her husband, who is what the father of the children and so on many problems that take place in the dunya before the era.

00:38:08--> 00:38:28

And here we would like to stress on this point, my dear respected brothers and sisters, that we should remember that a larger levada set his Dean for us to benefit us in the dunya before the Euro

00:38:29--> 00:38:54

so the dean, the law that Allah Allah Allah revealed, helps us to sort our life in this dunya First of all, and if we don't follow the deen, we will have so many problems in the dunya and we have to remember one important point here as any Western people, Muslims in the West

00:38:56--> 00:39:04

Many people ask that okay, what will happen to me if I don't follow the deen of Allah Allah Allah.

00:39:05--> 00:39:22

Okay, apart from the Akira, we say that if you don't follow the deen of Allah, Allah Allah here, it means that you are going to follow the man made low agree, because you have to follow a law in the first place.

00:39:24--> 00:39:30

Yes or no. For example, if you don't follow the law in eating and drinking,

00:39:31--> 00:39:59

the low set by Allah Allah Allah and eating and drinking, you will follow another law. You don't. For example, you don't stop yourself from eating or from drinking alcohol. You will follow those who say that alcohol is okay during cold call and then what will happen to you, you will face the consequences in the dunya before the Acura, agree or not the problems of alcohol

00:40:00--> 00:40:04

known to everyone, no one can disagree with them.

00:40:05--> 00:40:18

For example, marriage and divorce, if you don't follow the marriage and divorce law that has been set by a law, you will follow the marriage and divorce law that has been set by who?

00:40:19--> 00:40:56

by a human beings like you. Would you like to follow the law that was set by human beings like you? Or the law that has been set by someone? Who is what? Who is supreme superior? Who is unique? Who has no interest? except what? That you sought out your life in a very harmonious way? Yes. And we should be confident, and we should pass this message to our children, to our family, to our families, to everyone that

00:40:58--> 00:41:05

they know of a law is meant for our happiness, tranquility, in the dunya. Before the ophira.

00:41:07--> 00:41:25

Yes, it is not just a burden on us. Many people ask this question, I received it today. From my brother, he wants to make it as a football that many people ask, if Allah Allah Allah does not want our ADA, why He created us to worship him.

00:41:27--> 00:41:32

Yeah, if he doesn't benefit from our ADA, why He created us to worship Him?

00:41:33--> 00:41:35

And what is the answer?

00:41:38--> 00:41:39

What is dancers?

00:41:42--> 00:41:42

See, because he's,

00:41:44--> 00:41:49

what do you mean? We don't know what he was? Because you don't know he he said more? Generally.

00:41:59--> 00:42:04

This is one point that first of all, who is benefiting from worshipping Allah?

00:42:06--> 00:42:07

We,

00:42:08--> 00:42:20

we are the first people to benefit from that, because if He created us and left us to what to worship or to follow other laws, other than his low,

00:42:22--> 00:42:23

yes, then

00:42:25--> 00:42:31

we will have the consequences in this lot. Moreover, I always like to say something

00:42:33--> 00:42:40

about such questions, I always say what the prophet SAW Selim said to that companion, when he asked methods,

00:42:42--> 00:42:46

when is the hour? What was the onset of the process?

00:42:50--> 00:42:53

What did you prepare for it? What does it mean?

00:42:54--> 00:43:28

It means Yeah, I think, listen, I think whether this is tomorrow or after what 100 thieves is going to happen, agree or not? Yes. So the question is not when the question is What? What did you do for it? Same thing when a person says, What is the point? Why Allah, Allah, Allah created us to worship him while he does not need our worship? What should be the answer, or one answer? or part of the answer?

00:43:31--> 00:43:36

No, no. The first point is, listen, you are a human being.

00:43:37--> 00:43:48

You have been created. So Allah is there. So Allah is the Lord. Allah will put you in the Hellfire or paradise based on your deeds.

00:43:49--> 00:43:51

You don't want to worship Him is up to you?

00:43:55--> 00:43:55

Yes.

00:43:57--> 00:43:58

So who will lose?

00:44:01--> 00:44:03

Who will lose the person?

00:44:04--> 00:44:09

If you know the answer, or you don't know the answer? Does it make any difference?

00:44:10--> 00:44:12

Does it change any reality?

00:44:13--> 00:44:22

It doesn't change any reality at all. Because at the end of the day, you will be questioned for your deeds. So you should look for what

00:44:23--> 00:44:29

you should look for what saves you from the punishment of your law? Yeah, okay.

00:44:30--> 00:44:49

Bye. metadata to the life of a man after la de la la la vida de camara. Yes, you don't know maybe I'm like the levada will introduce something or will create something after that. What is it? That Allah Nevada will

00:44:51--> 00:44:54

Allah Allah, Allah might put love between both of you

00:44:55--> 00:44:59

and you might take her back as we have explained in detail.

00:45:00--> 00:45:01

Before by you

00:45:04--> 00:45:10

see here, la de la la la de to bad alikom la

00:45:12--> 00:45:15

the case that I saw today, a brother.

00:45:16--> 00:45:23

And it is anyway anonymous and this happens a lot. So it's not Jani, we are not revealing any

00:45:24--> 00:45:30

the details of a specific case because it is not the only ethical, it is not legal.

00:45:32--> 00:45:39

It is a common thing normally that happens, the husband said to his wife, if you doesn't do this, or you will divorce you,

00:45:40--> 00:45:50

which is something, we don't advise people to do it. But at least that is better than saying, if you don't do this, you are divorced.

00:45:51--> 00:45:56

And this is a solution we recommend for those who say, who used the word divorce all the time.

00:45:58--> 00:45:58

Yeah.

00:46:00--> 00:46:07

We say that. Don't say, if you don't do this, you are divorced, say, if you don't do this, what?

00:46:10--> 00:46:11

You will divorce you.

00:46:14--> 00:46:20

Okay? So he said that he was that statement, if you don't do this, or you will divorce you.

00:46:21--> 00:46:32

And then he said, and she did not do it, and I was angry, then I texted her again, if you don't come back home, I will divorce you. So be careful.

00:46:33--> 00:46:35

And then she did not come.

00:46:36--> 00:46:55

He said bye. It is to be honest with you and hamdulillah that she did not come because if she came, the argument will be hated. And then I could have divorced her. He said she came back a few days later. And something happened in between. and I changed my mind.

00:46:56--> 00:46:59

I changed my mind. This is what we want

00:47:00--> 00:47:08

to add what that will allow you to bear the Delica. After that, Allah Allah Allah may

00:47:09--> 00:47:16

introduce something between you put something between you, which they say in anger management.

00:47:18--> 00:47:19

When you are angry,

00:47:21--> 00:47:22

don't take decisions.

00:47:24--> 00:47:28

When you are angry, don't take decisions. take decisions what

00:47:29--> 00:47:42

later on. because later on, you don't know what will happen. Your body, your chemistry, your thinking, your blood pressure, etc, will be different. And you will take a different decision.

00:47:44--> 00:47:54

This is one of the most important side of this phrase. Let's agree you don't know La la la, vida radica en la,

00:47:55--> 00:48:11

you don't know that Allah de la will bring about something different or a new situation. Okay, we'll stop here. This is the end of this verse, we have been explaining this verse For how long now.

00:48:17--> 00:48:20

This is the fifth lesson, explaining one verse

00:48:25--> 00:48:33

for any storage, for any storage. And as the professor said Latin for the idea.

00:48:35--> 00:49:19

The miracles of the plan will never come to an end. That's why I always encourage you, my brothers and sisters, to do it on first of all, as they start to learn how to read it. And then to start learn the basic meanings of the law. And then the third point is start to reflect upon those basic meanings of the earth. And you will see that the Quran is opening you is opening for you, gates to the upper world and you will be living in the upper world you will not be living in this world. We ask Allah Allah Allah to make us among those who love the Quran.

00:49:20--> 00:49:27

And who read the Quran and who understand the Quran and who reflect upon the Quran. Allah La cinema Baraka.

00:49:29--> 00:49:32

He was of the night. Any question before we go?

00:49:34--> 00:49:42

Yes. You mentioned that a lot of time. Marriage becomes difficult because parents interfering. Yeah, what if I see you and

00:49:44--> 00:49:47

you want to live according to Sunday, you want to marry according to some manual divorce.

00:49:48--> 00:49:59

But parents they really like to interfere. Is it permissible to you know, tell them harshly like to stay away? Because if they if they really want to have a safe house, you'd have to do a house off duty, you know,

00:50:00--> 00:50:09

Yeah, the question is, if the parents want to interfere, interfere and they keep interfering in your marriage, maybe they don't feel well or maybe they will.

00:50:12--> 00:50:19

Yeah, okay. Whether they are on the sooner or later and sometimes the parents are better than this.

00:50:21--> 00:50:22

So this is evident.

00:50:23--> 00:50:24

So,

00:50:25--> 00:50:33

yes, I'm just saying with marriage, you may have other things that Yeah, but this is this is available, okay, this is not. So

00:50:35--> 00:50:39

the issue is if the parents are insisting on interfering,

00:50:41--> 00:50:47

so what to do, how harsh you can be towards them, we say that Allah, Allah says in the Quran,

00:50:49--> 00:50:53

Allah silica de la Fela takahama, what was

00:50:55--> 00:51:07

the cause kind to them? Yes, we can to them, we have to be careful. You can say to them in a polite way. Or you can say to them, which I always advise, recently, I advise a brother.

00:51:10--> 00:51:13

He came and he was,

00:51:14--> 00:51:18

he could not handle the situation between his mother and his wife.

00:51:19--> 00:51:50

And he said, I had enough and I'm emotional and link to attach to my mother so much, and my wife does not want to accept this. So he decided to divorce. I said, No problem, you divorce her, then he will get married to another one. He said, Yeah, I said that the same thing will happen. Because if your mother does not accept this, she will not accept another one as well. He said, We Who knows? I said, you just told me that your mother is the one who chose this for you.

00:51:53--> 00:51:58

And now she doesn't accept her which is typical. So he said what is the solution? I said no solution.

00:52:00--> 00:52:07

No solution for this, these problems. So what is the solution? I said, live with the problem.

00:52:08--> 00:52:09

That is the solution.

00:52:10--> 00:52:16

Yes. Now we have to be reasonable. How I always say, imagine a person who had a

00:52:18--> 00:52:22

car accident, and he became disabled, paralyzed.

00:52:24--> 00:52:37

If he is living and looking for a solution, he will not commit suicide. And this is the advice that is given by the psychiatrists to such people. They say to them, the best thing is to

00:52:38--> 00:53:20

to live with the problem. This is the solution. Because no solution costs disability, no solution. Same thing. You have your mother and you have your wife, Don't raise your expectations that one time, they will be what? They're nice to each other. And by the way, brothers and sisters, if you have your wife and your mother likes her, don't tell others because they might have envy towards you. Or hazard without knowing. Because this rarely happens. No, seriously. Yeah, shell hamdulillah and just keep it for yourself. Okay, seriously. The other thing is,

00:53:22--> 00:53:31

by the way, this never Napoleon Bonaparte. He said 1000 men can live under one roof. Two women cannot live under one roof.

00:53:32--> 00:53:36

Which is true. Yeah, I asked so many sisters.

00:53:38--> 00:53:38

And they said

00:53:39--> 00:53:48

who work? They work in different jobs. They say the worst time for us. In the job when we have a female

00:53:50--> 00:54:01

when they have a female manager, that will be the worst time for them. And I have a theory that says that the best person to treat an ad is

00:54:03--> 00:54:06

is the man a lady never treats a lady well.

00:54:09--> 00:54:12

Yeah, I have a theory, inshallah you will be

00:54:13--> 00:54:15

I'll have some time to prove it.

00:54:16--> 00:54:19

Okay, especially if she is in charge of her.

00:54:20--> 00:54:22

The best thing is what

00:54:25--> 00:54:33

the best thing is for a man to be in charge of an ad of a female because they will have between them.

00:54:35--> 00:54:45

And that's why from another angle, I doubt that there will be any lesbian marriage that can continue. We call it them

00:54:46--> 00:54:49

and get married. As they say, we don't

00:54:50--> 00:55:00

approve this marriage from an Islamic perspective. And after some time, they will have problems between themselves. So between much

00:55:00--> 00:55:02

And why I said to him

00:55:03--> 00:55:12

what you need to do just let your mother will say to you something. Yeah. Either you have to have a block here

00:55:14--> 00:55:24

and you smile to your mother and a Jekyll affair I appreciate your advice. But as if you didn't ask if you did not hear anything

00:55:26--> 00:55:40

okay? Or it comes from here and it goes from the other side and it doesn't remain here. The worst thing is when you listen and you start what actor

00:55:41--> 00:55:44

by Same thing with your one

00:55:45--> 00:56:03

Yeah, don't take any of the words serious seriously. Especially against the other side. This is the only solution otherwise men cannot live marriages cannot remain. Yeah cannot be maintained by Yes Yes.

00:56:04--> 00:56:13

You know the story where the woman who are divorced she would love to stay in the blind person's house but his his to know

00:56:18--> 00:56:19

I'm just saying like

00:56:21--> 00:56:21

Jani

00:56:23--> 00:56:24

The question is

00:56:26--> 00:56:26

the lady

00:56:28--> 00:56:36

that was commanded to stay in have to live long enough to mom's house because he was a blind person. He was not a man

00:56:37--> 00:56:59

but it seemed that he was staying in one place he was staying in another place. Okay, that was the only place for her to stay she did not have any other place but he's not the maximum of course. Yeah. And it is still we have the the thickener is there but it seems that Allah the prophet SAW sent me knew that

00:57:01--> 00:57:04

that there will be no fit and and that situation

00:57:07--> 00:57:09

no know running such as well.

00:57:13--> 00:57:14

And that

00:57:16--> 00:57:18

depends on the situation.

00:57:19--> 00:57:24

And it can a blind person who the lady by a stay in one room

00:57:29--> 00:57:32

clear by mahalo cache upon.

00:57:37--> 00:57:41

Some scholars doubted the authenticity of this habit. I don't want to get into this.

00:57:44--> 00:57:45

Any other question?

00:57:47--> 00:57:48

Okay.