Tafsir Surah Talaq #04

Haitham al-Haddad


Channel: Haitham al-Haddad


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smilla Haman hamdulillah Bananaman

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salat wa salam

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ala nabina Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Mrs. Newman Kathy Hello. I'm Yvette. By we continue that episode of the surah this surah as we said, it is a meta de sola, it is the rich, very rich of the rulings and this rise talking about one of our subsystems or subsystems of the social system, which is what marriage and divorce marriage and divorce is one of the most important elements of our social life in general. That's why Allah Allah Allah regulated it

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in his book in

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details, some aspects of it have been detail in the

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other aspects were detailed in the cinema as you know,

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last time, we

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spoke last time on the episode Before that, we spoke about some of the rulings related to follow the rulings that are mentioned here directly or indirectly some other rulings.

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We could not cover them because it is not a circle about the jurisprudence of the law, but it is a circle about the law. So we will take from the the vs. The film that is needed for the tipsy of those verses. Okay, so

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we spoke about pan up and we said that pinata is one of the ways to end the word love. And we said that abajo Allah says if you divorce women then divorce them in the beginning of their idea.

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So this discussion introduced to us what

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the principle of

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and I think last time, we mentioned that in order to divorce them according to the Sunnah, we should divorce them in the beginning of the

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What does the beginning of that mean? We said that they should be divorced

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in the purity period, provided that

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there was no full sexual intimacy or relationship that took place within that purity.

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Okay. All according to some scholars, the sooner is to divorce her after she after you know, and she knows that she's pregnant. He discovered when she became known to be pregnant, then you can divorce her.

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Okay, now,

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here, there are

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a few questions we'll take one important question What about if you don't divorce her, according to the sooner you divorce her according to other than sooner, which is known as the Buddha.

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If you divorce her according to the sooner or in order to divorce her according to the sooner you need to divorce her in the beginning of head, which is the beginning of the purity period.

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And then last time, if you remember, we learned how to calculate the purity period.

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According to all opinions, I will not repeat that. Now, we said that the sooner is to divorce her in the beginning of the purity period. What about if you did not follow the sooner and you divorced her in what

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inherit a death or

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in her purity period, but that divorce was preceded by a full sexual relationship which is known as Bella and bit

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in the book, so FERPA is known as alpha beta, beta a

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As you know, that most of the scholars believe that was the follow up takes place, it has taken place.

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Yes, even if it is our own way of doing it, which is debatable. So if they they say that if a person divorces his wife, if you didn't have menses, or if you didn't have purity period, but that by

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was preceded by a sexual relationship then the law is wrong and the person

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the person went against the Sunnah he might have committed a sin.

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But the follow up is that

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the this is the opinion of the overwhelming majority of scholars

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therefore imams as you know, however, there is one opinion that was attributed to some of the cabinet in the second generation some scholars say that it is also one of the opinions of the Sahaba

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of the Sahaba I cannot confirm his name and it is endorsed by even Tamia Rahim Allah, that sucks

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because it is against the law.

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It is against the law. And the province of the law is seldom said, Man I'm either I'm an Elisa legal

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any one does anything against our sooner then he will have it rejected. So if it is rejected, it means that it is invalid.

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This is his opinion.

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we received so many questions, either in the Islamic Sharia council or personally about those brothers. And those brothers who divorce their wives during during the period.

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And they say that, okay, we let in this website, that website we asked this course color and that is color that palapa during menses is invalid, or the law of the sexual relationship is invalid.

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And we said to them,

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that you cannot give yourself fatwa.

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Yeah, especially if your wife

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is not endorsing that opinion, then it becomes a matter of

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judgment. And you need to go to someone who can judge between both of you. Moreover, what we see is that people, divorce or men divorce their wives the first time while she was on her menses

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and then

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he takes her back

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and he considers that as one divorce, then he takes her back then he divorces her again.

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Then he takes her back then he divorces have the third thought after the third time, he regrets because he wakes up that his wife is not his wife anymore. And the children will okay.

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We live in a broken family. So, he would regret. So what is he will at that time when he regrets, he will go to the scholars here and there and he will write asking for fatwas. And he will search online

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regarding a fatwa or for a fatwa. And then sometimes he comes and he says, Well, I did this and that, that divorce is during menses is invalid. Okay, how tell us. He said that he divorced his wife 20 years ago, and she was on her menses

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and then he took her back.

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And we say to him 20 years ago, you consider the divorce as valid. And now after you

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divorce her the third time and you are regretting, you want it to invalidate what you consider that is valid in the first place.

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And this is not right.

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Many of

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our brothers they give the fatwa that divorce during menses is invalid. However, I don't give it at all because it is against the four schools of thought. It is against the overwhelming majority of schools, and the person does not have one chance in divorce. Yeah, he would have won. Imagine he makes a mistake, and he divorces her, then you have another chance.

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Then you have the third chance.

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So if you exhaust all your chances,

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Then you deserve. You deserve what you have them.

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Okay. So anyway, because this is a common problem many people do ask about it and

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some people come and they are crying. Yeah, my wife, I want to take my life back and some wives, they are crying, this is not fair, etc, etc. I always say to them, you divorce your wife, it's not me that forced you to divorce your wife. Okay, so you should control yourself.

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Anyway, this is the masala

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and you need to be aware of so be careful. Don't give your self a fatwa. I remember many cases, many cases.

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One of them is one of the.is a big Dyer. he divorced his wife three times.

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And then he contacted me and he said, You know this opinion is a valid opinion. And I said to him, with all due respect you will you divorce your wife three times. Even if you get her back, you will divorce her 1000 times more.

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He did not listen, he went to one of the shoe, as he said to me, one of the scholars, and that is going to throw him gave him federa. Yeah, you can take her back because menses is invalid. He took her back. Then, just two months later, it was the fourth time

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after that, he started to regret. He spoke to me. And he said to me,

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you know, now I have a problem that during these two months that I have lived with her, did I live with her?

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Because that's who I was.

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I said, I told you, I told him, he said to him, I regret it.

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And this is a very important lesson for the scholars.

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If you are young, and many of you are vulnerable, and if you think that you are a weak person, don't put yourself forward for fatwah or for teaching people some sensitive issues.

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Yeah, maybe teaching and being as caught up is not for you do something else.

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Unfortunately, here in the West, we receive a lot of pressure,

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a lot pressure for media government, from different people from Orientalism from thinkers, from liberal Muslims from Muslims. And unfortunately, we see that many

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and sometimes scholars, they just lean down bow down to this pressure. And they start saying that we need to revisit this, we need to think about it and we need to reconsider. This is a bigger problem, if a person is a die or a scholar, his words will be taken seriously. So he should not if he knows that he has this kind of weakness, or weak personality, he should not come forward. Or he should just teach simple methods and come forward. But our issue is one of those issues. How many times I have heard about the stories of this is color, he told him that the polyp is invalid. So they went back to each other. Why? Because he came there, the couple went to the spa, and they were crying.

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And they took their children in order to work to make the story more emotional. And this color he saw the children and he saw

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the situation. And then he became he sympathized with them. And he was trying to find a way for them. All of us should find try to find ways but in holidays

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and holidays, because we will put people into problems. Okay, if we don't follow the sooner in holidays, if it is clear, yes, give people an easy solution or give people a solution. Definitely. I'm the first one to call this. But as we will see here how Raja Nevada says what to do.

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These are the limits. These are the limits of who

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Allah. Allah is the one who puts those limits.

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He didn't just say with him to do the law, but he said he wants us, Romania to do the law.

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He the other one

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the one who dresses the limits allowed the limits set by Allah He has wronged himself he has committed injustice first of all to himself and we will elaborate more on the those two phrases okay. So this is regarding

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one important issue

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regarding which is what if you divorce your wife during her menses or

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you divorce her and her purity period but that divorce was preceded by a sexual relationship

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a lot of Nevada said

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una les that he now

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divorce them

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feel that he now means in the beginning of their a DA so they can observe along

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along don't expand this don't shorten this because it works both ways. If you make it longer than there will be injustice to the Y

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if you make it shorter maybe there will be injustice to you and then might be injustice to

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you Why? So whatever Allah Allah Allah chosen is the best

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don't change it with him

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Wha So, Allah

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Allah Allah Allah said to accelerate the calculated accurately counted accurately as we said last time I think we said that that is added in who is addressing

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men there is a possibility that Allah Allah Allah is addressing wives or women here, but because of the flow of the ayah

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de una

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una all the Bama propositions are addressing what

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men so here it is likely that it is addressing men as well.

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What that means Be careful when you divorce your wife then you should calculate the data carefully. Because if you miss calculate that there what will happen

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either as we said it will become longer or it will become shorter and there will be injustice against one of you. And not only that there will be other problems maybe though I can the wife might get married during a period as we mentioned last time then Elijah Nevada said whoa, whoa whoa ha

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It is amazing. That

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is talking about

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a legal system

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Yeah, which is a no

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then Paula then the Quran is mixing this mixing with what spirituality mixing low with what spirituality or fear of a lot what a lot of fear you know

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and this is the best way of teaching people Islam

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yes, sometimes we focus on Fifth but we need to mix it a little bit with what

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with a man I don't like the word spirituality. Okay with spiritualities that Christian terminology by but even

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in the middle?

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Either watercolor

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is referring to what was said that's why there is a gene here.

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Yeah. Which means that you can stop with the backhoe

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or what

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you didn't or it is just a stand alone statement.

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That's for everything. And it looks like this for the beginning which is how to divorce them and then

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They are ruling that it will

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follow which is what that

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means to him. So fear Allah

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Okay, then I love the analysis loud to

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me boo to him No, Regina in a Tina officiating movie.

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Allah geladas said

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don't turn them out

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of their houses

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don't turn them out of their houses that do not mean boo Tina and they should not leave their houses as well.

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What does that mean? During the period

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which follows a divorce the husband should not ask nor should he command his wife to leave her matrimonial house

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okay? Also the husband, the wife should not leave her matrimonial house

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Yes, not only do they should not go

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Don't force them to leave their houses and they should not leave their houses. The during what a during the period, how this works, a person divorce his wife,

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she should stay in her house, which is his house

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for the whole period

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once that the period is over, and he did not take her back, she should keep her shoes, she must leave.

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Because that's it the marriage wet for the word love has been broken

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and they cannot get back to each other except with a new liquor or with a new contract. Okay. Now, this is a very important rule

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because a lot of wisdom,

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a lot of wisdom.

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And as I said in the beginning, this shows that these rules and apps not by anyone not legislated by anyone, they are legislated by the one who knows everyone, the one who knows everything about

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this, okay, ruling can be explained as follows. Imagine a person had an argument with his wife.

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And then he divorced her.

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He divorced her, either according to some law or according to

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whether they had an argument. And then he was said immediately or they had an argument and then he told her Okay, when is your menses, okay, the menses. And

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in three days time, or five days time, or 10 days time, he waited for that period. And then when she became pure,

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then he divorced her.

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Now, imagine this happened.

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Not many of you as parents,

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but imagine your sister was divorced.

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Like the story of mapping, the one that we mentioned.

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When we mentioned the story of Abu

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Dhabi, no.

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You want you your sister, or your daughter, who was whom you wet her to this man respecting him and you had the wedding. And then she came to you and said, Oh my brother or that so and so divorced me.

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What will be your reaction? specially what will be the reaction of her mother?

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Everyone will be angry. agree or not? And most likely, they will say to her, oh, he does not deserve you. He's an evil man. is not worth it. Hello, divorce you okay? No way that you go back to him.

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This what normally happens,

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okay. Even if that does not happen immediately. She will stay in her parents house.

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Then have mother then her sister, then the relatives. They will say What happened? Yeah, obviously they will side with her.

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They will start What? As they say chatting, Phil, in her mind about negative things about her husband.

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the period.

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Not only that, look at the wisdom of God, Allah Subhana, Allah Alhamdulillah Allah,

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the biggest number that you knew a lot.

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Not only that, but imagine,

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okay, that your sister, your daughter was divorced, and she was staying with you for one week, two weeks, one month. And then her husband came to take her back. He needs to go to different procedures in order to take her back, which makes it more difficult.

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Because he will knock on the door and come on with me.

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Knock on the door, and he will come on with me just forget about everything. No, this will not happen. I agree.

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This will never happen. Yes or no.

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You have to speak to your head father.

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You have to sometimes and this is what he what we see what we receive on a daily basis.

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Yes, her father said Okay, take her back. Her brother comes home.

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Last week, I had a case like this. And she said that she was about to go with her husband, then have brother came in the middle. And he said no, no, no, this marriage will not will not continue at all, you will never go back to him.

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And the problem is what become bigger. And there were violence.

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physical violence because of this. The man went to take his wife, she could have done with them. But her father or her mother or her brother interfered, and then shouting, and then became emotional violence fighting. And the problem became worse.

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Yes, this is we see a lot here. We see it on a daily basis.

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How did the wife is stayed in her husband's house

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for a period which is almost two between two and three months.

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Maybe in the first day, they are angry second day they are angry third day they are angry. No one is attracted to her. Yes. And he is seeing her every day, especially if they are following the law of the sooner

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he's seeing his children, he would regret she would regret no one is interfering between them.

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And then

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he might want to come home

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and he finds her waiting for him dressing well putting perfume etc. So, definitely, the man will come close to his wife and he might have intimacy with her that according to many scholars, that is considered to be what are you taking her back? The problem is solved.

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Yes, she is

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a great this caller passed along 20 years ago something like this.

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He was he said that he worked as a judge in Syria and Damascus Melba dalada freedom Moscow from this oppressive regime.

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They said that he worked for almost 15 years as a judge.

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And he said the main cause behind most of the matrimonial or marriage problems that he has seen his work.

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interference by that extended family or by other members of the families

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from his side or from his side when they interfere

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the problem, the problems escalate and then sometimes they cannot be solved.

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That's why we say

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to parents,

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leave your children alone. They will solve their problems by themselves. Okay, if you know how to interfere

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and don't be arrogant because everyone will say I know how to interfere.

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Yes. Then do it in a very mild way.

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The Free Software

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way. Okay.

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Make sure don't criticize

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the other side, in front of your son or your daughter.

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Don't say to your daughter, your wife is not looking after you.

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Yeah, maybe she's not looking after him, but he's happy.

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Yeah, don't say to your daughter, your husband is not looking after you. He spends most of his time away. Or I think things are heightened troops.

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Don't say to her, just leave them, leave them give them space, they will learn together.

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And part of this, we love this. What did we learn this from? That? Oh, holy do Nambu. You know, and I apologize. Even after Paula, let them stay together. And that's why this notion which is separation, which is happening here, okay. And that was it is common separation, we got separated. Why a cooling period? What is the cooling period? Yeah, I asked him to send me to my parents. I have, I rarely,

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rarely seen a case where the wife asked for a cooling period, to spend that period with her parents, and the marriage worked again.

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For they were able to reconcile, in most cases, the problems escalate, and then just they depart. So this is part this is part of their wisdom. And Allah knows, there might be other elements of the wisdom, but you can see how rich this ruling is how wise this ruling is, which is nothing to do with Tina.

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this caller says that if the husband divorces his wife, and she is

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she was with her parents.

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They said she has to go to her matrimonial house and dispense.

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Yeah, she was there already when he divorces her.

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And here, here.

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We would like to remind our sisters in particular, those who got a divorce, that it is haram for them to leave their husband's house, even if they were waiting for the divorce, provided that the divorce is revoked.

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Yes, the after the first divorce and after the second divorce. The Prophet sallallahu Sallam said

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to her give a few lashes at her Nana Malaika.

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Yes, if a woman stays outside her husband's back, the melodica the angels will curse her until the morning.

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Look at this. It is not an easy thing. It is not an easy thing. And I always remind our sisters to be careful this, unfortunately Pharaoh from law became so weak that the parents sometimes encourage their daughters.

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I have never seen a parent who says to his wife to his daughter, no, you have to go to your husband's house. I cannot keep you in my house. Unless your husband gives you permission. That was the norm maybe in New York

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with your parents or maybe grandparents.

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But now that gnome or that habit to that customer is not anymore. I remember it from my father's generation, my father, my father's generation, that they used to say that if a wife or if the daughter comes to her husband to have Father's house,

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they used to go to they used to tell her No no, no, we will not go to your

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husband's house. We cannot keep you here.

00:34:48--> 00:35:00

So she will be forced to go to her husband's house. Unless there is something extra ordinary and the people should feel a lot that this is something really

00:35:00--> 00:35:15

extra ordinary. Other than that, just the normal problems. Or she says that, okay, he divorces me or he charges me and he divorced me and that's it. No.

00:35:16--> 00:35:19

Okay. I have only maybe one case that I have seen

00:35:20--> 00:35:34

in the last maybe 10 years, where the husband the father was a very wise person, very wise person. And although I said it myself if I was the father, okay.

00:35:35--> 00:35:51

I would not have given my daughter to this man to marry her. Because she's married now. The one who has the biggest right over the wife is her husband. Local.

00:35:52--> 00:35:55

And yesterday I had the amount of money

00:35:58--> 00:36:07

if I were someone to make food to someone else, I would have commanded that wife to do to do

00:36:08--> 00:36:33

to her husband looked at this. Okay, so the parents should feel a legend. Oh, Allah. The wife should feel like I have so many cases where the wife said he divorced me I left his house. And yeah, and that's it. I said no, you have to go back to his house. She said I don't want

00:36:34--> 00:37:05

I remind them that Be careful the melodica cursing you some sisters they say okay, because you mentioned this, it is up to me to adhere to this. I said no problem. It is up to you. On the Day of Resurrection Don't say that. The chef did not tell me Yes. And even if you like this year to be a liberal chair or a modern chair

00:37:06--> 00:37:17

on the site to follow the law that will not help you because you will be questioned about this being a liberal or being having an easy

00:37:18--> 00:37:33

opinion about this. I will take the burden as a chef and you will take the burden if you know that there is another opinion Other than that, okay and you did not verify which is the correct opinion. Okay.

00:37:34--> 00:37:34


00:37:36--> 00:37:36

this is

00:37:38--> 00:37:43

in order for there are some other details regarding lack of rejuvenating beauty.

00:37:44--> 00:37:49

Yes, we will not mention them. Okay, just before we proceed.

00:37:51--> 00:38:00

This kind of said that there are two main reasons for the revelation of this surah or these first in particular.

00:38:01--> 00:38:10

Okay, one is the study of the neuroma when he divorced his wife, and it is in Sahih, Al Bukhari and Muslim. Even Omar

00:38:11--> 00:38:13

Abdullah divorce his wife

00:38:14--> 00:38:18

and then he was heard when she was on headman since then,

00:38:20--> 00:38:21

they informed the prophets of

00:38:23--> 00:38:30

the Prophet sallallahu wasallam was displeased with this. And he said Maru commanded us

00:38:32--> 00:38:33

to take her back.

00:38:34--> 00:38:51

Okay to take her back and wait for her menses and when she becomes pure, them if he wants to divorce her, he can divorce her. We forgot to mention this. In the beginning, this is a very important Heidi. Yeah.

00:38:52--> 00:39:48

There is another narration This is the main narration there is there are many narrations Okay, for this Hadith, one other main narration is more to command your son to take her back and to wait until the menses is over. And then the P the purity period is over. And then the message is over the second message is over, and then the period after that is over. So the message the second message is over. And then in the second period, he can divorce her if he wants. This is the second generation of this update as Kathy said and others. The main narration summarizes the story. Even Omar divorces his wife, she was on had menses. This came to the Prophet sallallahu sallam, and he was not happy

00:39:48--> 00:40:00

because he did not divorce according to the center. So the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said, Mo command, command your son To what? To take her back. This is the

00:40:00--> 00:40:00


00:40:02--> 00:40:14

and she should he should wait for what the man says to be over then the period then if he wants to divorce her, he can divorce her. Otherwise he will take

00:40:15--> 00:40:33

now, some status, sorry, even taymiyah, who believes that divorce in order during the menses is invalid. He also refers to this Heidi, because he said that the Prophet sallallahu Sallam commanded him to take his wife back.

00:40:35--> 00:40:53

Okay, so which means that the divorce is invalid. The other scholars have responded to this by saying, you know, even if he commanded him to take her back doesn't mean that the divorce is invalid, because there were some nations where the bodies

00:40:55--> 00:40:57

were the narrator of the Hadith.

00:41:00--> 00:41:02

I think one of the companions of

00:41:04--> 00:41:05

he said what happened

00:41:06--> 00:41:29

and it was counted as one divorce. Anyway, as a few of you will not get into this but the opinion of the four schools that it is a valid divorce. Okay. The second main reason, the second reason for the revelation of these verses is the study of have been to

00:41:30--> 00:41:37

the Prophet sallallahu Sallam wanted to divorce However, there are some narrations that the prophet of Islam divorce,

00:41:39--> 00:41:47

as well. gibreel Allahi ceram came and said to the Prophet sallallahu wasallam. Yeah, take her back.

00:41:49--> 00:41:53

Okay, fair enough. So while

00:41:55--> 00:41:56

she is what

00:41:58--> 00:42:03

she is the lady that observes sia and they are, this is who helps

00:42:05--> 00:42:07

the wife of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi

00:42:09--> 00:42:09

wa sallam.

00:42:11--> 00:42:14

Now, will not talk about capital we spoke about

00:42:17--> 00:42:29

before, but I want to mention here, okay, what is related to the issues that you believe commanded the proximal body send them to take helps our back? Why?

00:42:33--> 00:42:34


00:42:40--> 00:42:40


00:42:46--> 00:42:48

Because he's righteous lady.

00:42:49--> 00:42:52

Yes. Fair enough. This is

00:42:54--> 00:42:54


00:42:56--> 00:43:10

Take her back in the house, a woman a woman take her back because what she's the righteous lady, observing cm and Pa, here, this is a very important lesson. It shows us first of all that

00:43:12--> 00:43:16

marriage is not necessarily built on love.

00:43:20--> 00:43:31

Yeah, this is a wrong, non Islamic notion that marriage is built or should be built on love. A man came to me.

00:43:33--> 00:43:36

And he said to him, I don't love my wife

00:43:40--> 00:43:42

was about to beat him by his estate.

00:43:44--> 00:43:48

And he told him Who told you that all those people love their wives?

00:43:52--> 00:43:55

Did you get it? He said to him.

00:43:56--> 00:43:59

Who told you that all those people love their wives?

00:44:00--> 00:44:04

But people love because of Deen and humanity?

00:44:06--> 00:44:14

Yes, for offspring in that generation, or if the other generation is the right one.

00:44:15--> 00:44:18

Which means what? The Love

00:44:19--> 00:44:23

is not the basis of a successful marriage.

00:44:25--> 00:44:31

You might live with your wife. You might not like her, but don't show her this.

00:44:33--> 00:44:45

Time. So why do you live with her because of the children? Or because she's a righteous lady. And on the day of his election, she will intercede for me?

00:44:47--> 00:44:54

Yes, our values are not based on dounia. Our values are based on what?

00:44:55--> 00:44:59

Remember this please. Now unfortunately, we as Muslims

00:45:00--> 00:45:04

transferred our values to be dounia based values.

00:45:06--> 00:45:13

Yes, and we rarely including many of our data, unfortunately, they rarely speak about what

00:45:14--> 00:45:28

based values that when there is a contradiction between dunia based values and after based values, they give precedence to what are priority to what dounia based values.

00:45:30--> 00:45:32

And that is completely wrong.

00:45:33--> 00:45:37

Yeah, can backfire in the house a woman to a woman.

00:45:38--> 00:45:42

Okay. This is a lady came to me.

00:45:46--> 00:45:49

And she said to him, I don't like my husband. He said,

00:45:52--> 00:46:07

Yes. Okay. But I don't hear one of you ladies telling her husband that she doesn't like him. Even if she doesn't like him. She should tell him that she likes him.

00:46:08--> 00:46:11

She loves him. lying. Yes, it is lying.

00:46:13--> 00:46:14


00:46:15--> 00:46:22

Okay, this is one of the reasons lying was or this is one of the places where lying is allowed

00:46:24--> 00:46:26

to lie to your wife.

00:46:28--> 00:46:35

But not the wife to her husband. Okay, related to what related to the household matters.

00:46:36--> 00:46:38

But in terms of how do

00:46:40--> 00:46:47

you like, the light to your wife, and she likes to you are the best man in the world? Who said that you're the best man in the world?

00:46:50--> 00:46:58

Okay, you go to your wife, or you are the best and the most pretty and attractive lady in the world?

00:47:00--> 00:47:03

That is not right. I don't know, maybe maybe.

00:47:05--> 00:47:18

In many cases, this is not accurate. Okay, you can. Or, for example, you shouted that she shouted at you. And you did not regret it. But you want to fix the law?

00:47:19--> 00:47:28

You call her or text? Sorry, I regretted that maybe internally, you did not regret you. Do you feel that? She is wrong?

00:47:29--> 00:47:30

This is a lie.

00:47:31--> 00:47:32

But it is a lot.

00:47:34--> 00:47:45

Okay, so I don't know how upset I don't hear about any of you telling her husband that she doesn't like him. Even if you don't like him, tell him that you like him.

00:47:46--> 00:47:49

Because this is how people live with each other.

00:47:50--> 00:47:58

Yeah, new neighbor. If you don't like him, you don't say to him in the morning and in the evening. By the way, I really hate you much.

00:48:02--> 00:48:27

This will not you won't be able to live with him. But if he is just a person, you don't like him for whatever reason. You don't need to tell him this. In fact, because he's your neighbor. And the prophet SAW Selim commanded us to look after our neighbors, etc. Moreover, he's living next to you, you cannot just avoid him. So you pretend that you work

00:48:28--> 00:48:42

that you are okay with him? Yeah, you give him gifts, you maybe smile in his face and so on. This is how people live. And this is how we should live, let alone living with our own

00:48:43--> 00:48:56

families. And this is what many people okay, don't pay attention to. So the reason for the one of the reasons for the revelation of the surah is as we said,

00:48:58--> 00:49:27

the study of hausa and gibreel commanded them to take her back because in her Salama Obama, she is what a righteous lady. So take back and as we said, this is a very important lesson for us by Okay, let us stop here because the brothers and sisters and sisters said if you can make it until nine, yeah, that will be good and we can have more time to ask you questions.

00:49:29--> 00:49:34

Okay, we'll continue inshallah. Next time. If you have any question, please.

00:49:41--> 00:49:46

Stay shouldn't leave the house. Here this physical abuse.

00:49:55--> 00:49:59

Yeah. This is a common question that if there is a physical abuse

00:50:01--> 00:50:02

Okay, what she should do

00:50:04--> 00:50:04


00:50:05--> 00:50:13

This is a common question. And that common question leads to many legal problems. Because

00:50:15--> 00:50:26

sometimes the if you are in a in a position in a certain position, you have to report this to the police.

00:50:27--> 00:50:28


00:50:29--> 00:50:30

I always say that

00:50:32--> 00:50:35

physical abuse is just a very general term

00:50:37--> 00:50:46

should quantify what kind of physical abuse, and many people are using this and they say physical abuse may be

00:50:48--> 00:50:56

a slap is a physical abuse of punch is a physical abuse, a stab is a physical abuse, are they treated the same?

00:50:57--> 00:51:00

No. Yeah. So we need to

00:51:02--> 00:51:07

look at this, first of all, the second point, which is very important one,

00:51:09--> 00:51:13

I said to some non Muslims a few times I said,

00:51:15--> 00:51:25

Okay, if the problem was reported to the police, will this solve the problem? Or will this increase the problem?

00:51:29--> 00:51:36

I said to them, you in your experience worker, they said, Yeah, he will not be physical to her. I said, this is your main concern

00:51:38--> 00:51:38

on me.

00:51:39--> 00:52:07

Okay, this is your main concern on the health safety. Don't use big words, because some passwords, if you put them in any argument, you will win the argument here for her safety. I said, I said, we need to quantify what kind of abuse is this? Okay. And the second thing is, if he reports this problem to the police, it is very unlikely that this problem will be so

00:52:08--> 00:52:13

maybe the police will kick him out or protect us. And then after that, what will happen

00:52:15--> 00:52:20

is an injunction order against him, he cannot go back to vote or,

00:52:24--> 00:52:35

or the man himself, he might feel out of dignity that his wife took him to the police and he was arrested because of this. Yeah, he might feel that

00:52:36--> 00:52:37

that he cannot go back to her.

00:52:38--> 00:53:40

And this normally happens, even if he goes back to her, he will still remember that she has taken him to the police one time. Moreover, unfortunately, many women do the same this, okay, when it becomes easy for them to call the police. They immediately whenever there is any argument, yeah, he will become physical violence. Let me call the police and she will call the police. Yes. Okay. This is another problem. So they are not looking at a holistic solution. They are looking what a quick solution to just to protect this lady. Okay. From the the abuse of the husband. Okay, are you following this? And that's why here in the UK, in the UK,

00:53:41--> 00:53:44

the man to break down is a huge

00:53:45--> 00:53:47

demand to break down is a huge

00:53:49--> 00:54:10

when they discuss these matters. And as I said to one journalist, you always focus on what about if there is a physical abuse, you don't focus you don't talk at all about the marriage break down and the family breakdown that is happening in the West and what are the solutions for these problems?

00:54:11--> 00:54:27

You are breaking the family, by yourself by the law, the law Unfortunately, they are breaking the family values here in the UK and in the West in general.

00:54:32--> 00:54:34

Okay, by the way,

00:54:35--> 00:54:40

did I mention about this? But not that it is easy? And

00:54:43--> 00:54:48

when people accuse us that you're palapas easy. Did I mention this?

00:54:49--> 00:54:59

Yeah. When I said this the law. I said this to one of the journalists that the law is not in favor of family values and keeping

00:55:00--> 00:55:25

From this, he said, Wow, this is a very big statement. I said, Yeah, I stand for that statement. Okay. I said to him about, first of all, we discussed this issue of calling the police and safety and interference via social services and so on. Then I told him, now the law makes it so difficult for a man to divorce his wife.

00:55:28--> 00:55:42

He said, Yeah, because what, because we want to maintain family values, and family life? I said, Yes, that's fine. Mashallah, good. You are wiser than a lot of stuff. A lot of these.

00:55:44--> 00:55:48

Why do I need to get married in the first place? If divorce is so difficult?

00:55:51--> 00:55:52

Are you following this?

00:55:54--> 00:55:59

If divorce is so difficult, why do I need to get married?

00:56:03--> 00:56:04

Do you understand this?

00:56:05--> 00:56:18

Recently, we had a discussion with some lawyers and a lawyer who has some experience in this field. He said, I agree with you. Yes. Because divorce is a nightmare.

00:56:19--> 00:56:23

Most of the couples they want to live to with each other without marriage.

00:56:28--> 00:56:38

Divorce is so difficult, the procedure is so difficult. Moreover, the wife will take half of the assets of her husband. So what happens?

00:56:40--> 00:56:48

He will regret Oh, I am the one who been working day and night, day and night. And then she divorced me and then

00:56:49--> 00:57:00

she's taking half of the world. Moreover, many women's I have seen many women, when they feel that they will take half of the assets of their husbands.

00:57:02--> 00:57:10

Yeah, they become encouraged to get divorce or to divorce their husbands by the legal system.

00:57:12--> 00:57:32

To take off of his assets, I have so many stories like this. So when the man thinks about this, he will say why do I need to get married to her? in the first place? We will live together we can we cohabit. Okay. Under the common law, and have the children. And that's it.

00:57:33--> 00:57:35

I mentioned this point. No.

00:57:36--> 00:57:38

I think I mentioned this.

00:57:40--> 00:57:42

Anyway, one time

00:57:44--> 00:57:47

we received in the Islamic Area Council visited from

00:57:51--> 00:58:01

Yeah, one time in the Islamic Sharia Council, we received a visit from maybe five, six members of Ministry of Justice in one of the European countries.

00:58:02--> 00:58:07

And they told us, I told them, why are you visiting us?

00:58:08--> 00:58:33

And they asked us to keep a low profile, not to mention it to media and not to talk about it. So I said, Why are you visiting us? They said we are considering having a buddy like you in our country? I said, Yeah, fair enough. So we started to speak openly. Five or six of them. And the main person

00:58:34--> 00:59:21

asked a question, he said, You know, he asked the normal questions about the testimony of women and the testimony of men and so on. Then we came to discuss the issue of divorce. And he told me that Yeah, but divorce according to the Islamic law. And he read something about the Islamic law is very easy, because a man can divorce his wife, just like this by work, divorce, but the wife cannot divorce her husband. Then I explained to him the issue of if we give the right to divorce to both of them. Yeah, the one that I mentioned last time. Then I told him, somehow the law. I told him you Are you married? He said, No. I'm living with my girlfriend. He's about 16.

00:59:23--> 00:59:33

He was living with his girlfriend. I said to him, why? How long have you been living with them? He said for almost 10 years. I said, Okay.

00:59:35--> 00:59:59

Why? Why didn't you get married to her? He said I was married to my first wife. And then we have problems. And then when we were divorced, she took this and that and it was a nightmare for me. And now I can say to this girlfriend, whenever I don't want her I can say to her bye bye easy and I can leave. I said See, this is what I'm talking about.

01:00:00--> 01:00:02

This is exactly what I'm talking about

01:00:03--> 01:00:12

that if it is a nightmare, then people will not get married. And that's why here are the statistics, as far as I remember.

01:00:14--> 01:00:15

One out of

01:00:20--> 01:00:23

Yes. One out of

01:00:26--> 01:00:31

one out of 1000 Yes, one out of 1000 of those who

01:00:33--> 01:00:39

can't get married, one man out of 1000 men is men,

01:00:40--> 01:00:51

one out of 1001 point something of ladies who can get married are married only

01:00:53--> 01:01:06

look at this percentage, it is a very, very low percentage. And I asked a lawyer and he said that the divorce rate is almost 40% So, there is no marriage.

01:01:07--> 01:01:21

If one out of 1000 is getting married, and more over 40% of them are divorce, then there is reality there is no marriage. So, how are we going to fix those problems?

01:01:22--> 01:01:34

How are we going to fix all these problems? And from a legal perspective, I remember I mentioned this to one person in Oslo about this marriage and divorce I said

01:01:35--> 01:01:42

you are you the law is based on just legal individualism.

01:01:43--> 01:01:46

individualism Yeah.

01:01:47--> 01:01:50

And and it is very emotional.

01:01:52--> 01:01:57

But it is not realistic, it is not practical, it is not rational.

01:01:58--> 01:02:02

And these are big words. He said why I said if there is

01:02:04--> 01:02:26

literal violence, you asked for the police to interfere social services will interfere and this likely leads to what marriage You break down what are the consequences of marriage breakdown grave consequences on both sides, on the children on the society as a whole agree.

01:02:28--> 01:02:31

So I said by common sense, by common sense.

01:02:33--> 01:02:39

It is known well established even in the legal theory, that limited harm can be

01:02:41--> 01:02:44

tolerated. To avoid what

01:02:45--> 01:02:46

bigger harm

01:02:48--> 01:03:02

agree or not. Yeah, in medicine, even in our life in everything. Yeah, we need to tolerate some harm in order to avoid bigger hub. If we are not

01:03:04--> 01:03:14

observing this in our legal system, then it is a big problem. It is a big problem. And that's why marriage is not working in the UK.

01:03:15--> 01:03:16


01:03:17--> 01:03:32

people say why it is not working in the UK I said yeah, imagine because the the population without the Muslim population or without the immigrants is almost the static or decreasing

01:03:33--> 01:03:33


01:03:35--> 01:03:39

that is because of medical breakdown because of those problems.

01:03:40--> 01:03:43

Okay, by another question. Yes.

01:03:45--> 01:03:48

Sir, question. Yes, go from

01:03:53--> 01:03:53

there what

01:04:03--> 01:04:04

into this situation?

01:04:10--> 01:04:12

The question is, if we say that

01:04:13--> 01:04:29

the VEDA is rejected, why don't we consider this as rejected as invalid? Why the fall say that no, it is valid, it is a long discussion, not just an easy discussion, this got a sense for

01:04:31--> 01:04:40

the for the time of four events are giving you on this and discussing this cannot be summarized in just a few minutes. By

01:05:05--> 01:05:27

Yeah, the first I read the question and answer it. And I read the second question and I answered it by if a girl becomes pregnant before marriage, but later marriage the same boy, whom she became pregnant with, can this boy can this baby inherit the father's positions? Once he passes away?

01:05:28--> 01:05:41

From this, we don't answer it. Okay in public. If you have a serious case come and ask one to one. The second question is, if the husband angle A repeated follow up divorce three times.

01:05:43--> 01:05:47

Yeah. But later regrets, is this divorce valid?

01:05:49--> 01:06:01

Okay, are the couple really divorce? And as I said, these questions are quite sensitive. We don't answer them like this. Each case has to be treated separately. Yeah, Any other question? Yes. Yeah.

01:06:07--> 01:06:07


01:06:08--> 01:06:09


01:06:11--> 01:06:26

Can you record this? Okay, the question is, is it haram for the wife to take 50% of the assets of husband or ex husband? And the answer is completely Hello. It is a big Hello.

01:06:27--> 01:06:32

Yeah. And our sisters have to know this ruling.

01:06:33--> 01:06:46

If the husband does not give it to you, Allah is not giving it to you. All what Allah gave you after divorce is by the, the remaining Mao

01:06:48--> 01:06:56

the remaining of the mob was not given to you completely. Or, and this is why the democratic party

01:06:57--> 01:07:17

without apology is an amount of money the husband should give to his wife, the Maliki scholars believe that it is what other scholars believe that it is not an amount of money. Yeah to be given willingly, voluntarily by the husband to his wife, Allah, Allah, Allah says permit

01:07:18--> 01:07:21

This is without Allah. Okay. Now,

01:07:22--> 01:07:30

other than that, if the wife uses the system to take half of the world of her husband, she is taking sir

01:07:31--> 01:07:40

Yeah, she is eating her money. Her money once it is consumed is like consuming the fire of health.

01:07:42--> 01:07:52

Okay, so sisters should be careful. I always speak about this problem. And fortunately, will lie your brothers and your sisters

01:07:54--> 01:08:07

last week or the week before by a sister who looks practicing looks Mashallah aware of the rulings aware of many things. And she said that the court gave her

01:08:10--> 01:08:33

I think almost 50% of the assets of her husband, the property, etc. And she said, I'm taking them. I said, I'm telling you the ruling the legal system is something else but I'm telling you this and I'm floating, it's hard for you. She said yeah, but he did not. He did not maintain me during the marriage and this is opposite to this.

01:08:34--> 01:08:42

I said to her Subhana Allah the justification is easy. The justification is easy. Yeah, we eat

01:08:43--> 01:08:44

and we have what

01:08:46--> 01:08:51

immediate justification by okay there is a

01:08:52--> 01:08:57

I will say just delay. I will read a joke a joke here.

01:09:02--> 01:09:06

I hope that I will read it properly. It is in English.

01:09:07--> 01:09:08

In Arabic, this is

01:09:10--> 01:09:11

this is

01:09:12--> 01:09:15

this is a thief but he's a scholar.

01:09:17--> 01:09:29

She has an app I sent it to you now, because I wanted you to read it. This is this is stories mentioned in in 34. This lab that

01:09:30--> 01:09:31

someone sent it to me

01:09:35--> 01:09:45

a person he said I was sitting next to the American optimist and Abdul Aziz Abdul Malik even Abdelaziz a magician. He's one of the Maliki scholars.

01:09:46--> 01:09:59

And a man came to him and he said to me, shall I tell you an amazing story? He said, Yeah, he said I was traveling somewhere, and then just out to die outside the city where there was no one

01:10:00--> 01:10:08

came to me and he said Take off your clothes. He said why okay. He said I deserve them more than you

01:10:09--> 01:10:34

he said what he said because I don't have clothes. He said yes, but if I if I take them off I become naked and my outro will be exposed. He said both of us have no clothes. And so you to get part and this is now my part because Islam says if there is one piece of cloth we should share it he said

01:10:36--> 01:11:05

but my outro will be exposed I will not do this. He said no, no, no No problem. There is any wire and Malik and narration and medical memory that he said that it is allowed for the man to have a bath while he is naked. Then I tell him Come on. Come on. This is fun to have wasn't while you have naked but this will people will see my IRA. Okay.

01:11:08--> 01:11:10

He said to him.

01:11:12--> 01:11:44

Yeah, he said to him. Yeah, I told you the justification for this because I don't have claws and people will see my and so you were wearing leather clothes, you are covering euro. So it is now my turn to cover my hour. Then the man said to him, I gave up and I told him Okay, this house, okay, I'll go there and I will take part of my clothes off and I will give it to you. He said no, no, no, no, no. Okay. No, no, no, do it here. He said there he is embarrassing here.

01:11:46--> 01:11:59

He said no, no, no, no, you are going to tell people about me. He said, Listen, I will swear by Allah that I will not do this. He said no, no, no, no, there is an addiction through Mr. Malik

01:12:01--> 01:12:08

the thieves? Yes, or if you were lying in front of a thief you are not lying.

01:12:11--> 01:12:17

So, he said well, I will not to do this. He said no, I told you that you

01:12:18--> 01:12:23

will not be valid because you can lie. Again that lie is justified.

01:12:24--> 01:12:25


01:12:26--> 01:12:33

he said, I gave up and he said come on. Just to stop it. This is argument said he said yeah, I told you

01:12:34--> 01:12:37

change your clothes and give it to me. Then he said

01:12:40--> 01:13:21

Yeah. Then when I told him Okay, listen, I'll just give it to you. Then he started to think. Yeah. And then I said maybe he's regretting. So I told him What's wrong? He said I was thinking about the thief's from the time of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam until this time Yeah. And I have never seen any thief who has taken any wealth after some time he immediately takes the work. So either you give it to me immediately okay or I will not accept it to you because this is like Riba. Okay.

01:13:23--> 01:13:44

Okay. And if all thieves have been doing this that they are taking whatever they want to take immediately and if I do this that I accepted from you later, then I am doing a bid out that other people have not done before at all. And Come on, do you want me to be looked at it?

01:13:46--> 01:13:58

Yeah, so do it now. So he said when I saw that he's Mashallah, he's justifying everything. I cannot run away from him. I said, Okay, take it. Leave.

01:13:59--> 01:14:00


01:14:01--> 01:14:03

So anyway, that was saying that.

01:14:06--> 01:14:22

Yeah, the issue of 50% is a big heroin that many of our sisters divorced divorcees are taking. Yeah, we have to want them and it is up to them whether they want to implement this or Yeah.

01:14:24--> 01:14:26

Yes, yeah. We need to stop here.

01:14:28--> 01:14:29

You mentioned her

01:14:31--> 01:14:35

husband. You just very quickly amongst our families.

01:14:37--> 01:14:52

Yeah, anyone can intercede for you. One of the setup said have many friends, because there might be one of them who is a righteous person he will intercede for you in the Day of Resurrection? Anyone? Charla. Yeah have many friends. Good friends. Yeah.

01:14:54--> 01:14:55

righteous people. Yes.

01:14:57--> 01:14:59

Does the wife have to fulfill her duties after the fall?

01:15:01--> 01:15:09

Does the wife have to fulfill her duties after the first or second divorce? Yeah, we mentioned this Yes, she must. She must.

01:15:10--> 01:15:10


01:15:12--> 01:15:14

Okay, but radiculopathy