Waleed Basyouni – Bulugh Al Maram – Book of Etiquette & Manners #00 – Introduction

Waleed Basyouni
AI: Summary © [SPEAKER 1:] -- is a long time. The week is the introduction, the introduction is a weekata, and the introduction is a moment. The introduction is the week, the introduction is a weekata, the introduction is a weekata, the introduction is a weekata, the introduction is a weekata, the introduction is a weekata, the introduction is a weekata, the introduction is a weekata, the introduction is a weekata, the introduction is a weekata, the introduction is a weekata, the introduction is a weekata, the introduction is a weekata, the introduction is a weekata, the introduction is a weekata, the introduction is a weekata, the introduction is a weekata, the introduction is a weekata, the introduction is a weekata, the introduction is a weekata, the introduction is a weekata, the introduction is a weekata, the introduction is a weekata, the introduction is a weekata,
AI: Transcript ©
00:00:07 --> 00:00:13

spilled out hamdulillah salat wa salam ala rasulillah Juana and he was so happy women who are now that

00:00:15 --> 00:00:22

this is a new chapter that we will be studying in a book called Bulu almarhum.

00:00:24 --> 00:00:35

And in my way here to the class, I explained to Omar and yourself and harlot, what's bluehole? Mara means

00:00:37 --> 00:00:44

sisters, by the way, you can come in here in the back if you guys want, or turn on the light because some of you use

00:00:46 --> 00:01:00

books. But if you guys want to come here, you're more than welcome. There's chairs if you want to sit on the chairs, as well. So any one of the three that I explained to them for my kids, remember what's below Milan means?

00:01:01 --> 00:01:02


00:01:04 --> 00:01:16

Now, Omar, you need to come here. I see. You, you and Eunice. You know, Omar comes next to Amar and Eunice to your.so what's below muram,

00:01:18 --> 00:01:24

Monroeville muram just in case somebody knew, and I never maybe had never said that. bluebella muram. It means?

00:01:26 --> 00:01:59

Remember, but all muram it means that the ultimate goal, your dream of something. So what's the book is, is a collections of the Heidi's talking about the rules of Islam, what the prophets of Salaam said about the rules and the Islamic rulings. So he said, your ultimate dream of a book to collect all this a hadith to explain to you what the prophets of Salaam said about Islamic rulings. Your dream book, is this book

00:02:00 --> 00:02:34

alohomora How did that occur? And he praising his book? He's saying that's the ultimate goal that can ever be written in this in this concept. What's the concept is that how did that speak about the Islamic rulings and I decide to move for farther all the way to the end. To start or to teach this chapter and when we finished we go back to the salon inshallah Tada. It's called a chapter the last chapter in the book, it's called elkie, taboo JAMA, the book at Jama.

00:02:36 --> 00:03:23

JAMA, it means the one which is collect so many different things. So this chapter, collect so many different topics. And in my opinion, at JAMA, yes, most of the scholars who explained this chapter and said that it means the one would collect different chapters because it's not one unified concept. For example, I have a chapter about Salah, everything about solid chapter watseka. But this chapter has many different subjects. So he called a gentleman because it's a collection of various topics, but in my opinion, could be not the reason he called a Jama the collections or the gathering, but in JAMA also means the principles, the foundations, the most important thing to be

00:03:23 --> 00:04:00

collected. And it may be that what he meant, he meant that this chapter, and jammy Yeah, and it means it's a very comprehensive, because if you understand this chapter, you will have a very good understanding of the religion of the nature of the prophet SAW salaams dour because remember the prophets of Salaam said in Namibia, if you tell me Mama Karima Allah, that's the whole purpose of the prophets of Salaam to be sent is to teach us how to behave properly. What's the whole old goal of Islam, the whole goal of Islam to teach us to behave properly,

00:04:01 --> 00:04:28

to behave in an appropriate way in the best manners? And that's the whole goal of Islam. If you notice every aspect of Islam is really focused on that concept, the concept of behaving the concept of mannerism ethics, that's a very important concept in Islam. That's why Adnan Mubarak Rahim, Allah once said, in a hadith and adapt the habit will fail Islam.

00:04:29 --> 00:04:41

He said, I believe that the ahaadeeth talking about mannerism and etiquettes and behaving good behavior, covered or took two thirds of the Hadith

00:04:43 --> 00:04:59

to third of the Hadith individual sanlam focus on this concept. So I do maybe that's the reason he called Bob Jama. Anyway, and he ended his book, which is talking about Islamic ruling with this with this chapter or this hadith.

00:05:00 --> 00:05:21

To tell you, it's not enough for a Muslim to pray too fast to give the cat but doesn't know how to talk, doesn't know what to say when they enter the mustard. And when they leave the mustard is not acceptable the day and night pass by, and you didn't know what to say in the morning and what to say in the night. I don't believe that's acceptable for a Muslim.

00:05:22 --> 00:06:07

And unfortunately, it's a common thing that many of us today, if you ask an average person, what are the appropriate thing to say when you start the food when you end the food? You know, what if you forget in the middle of the eating, what to say Bismillah in the beginning what to say in the middle. You know what to say after you finish your winter, what to say into Jude what to say and record, how to what's the proper etiquette of giving Salaam of sneezing and so many things like this. So this is basically in my opinion, this is a very important complimentary to all the rules and fifth rules related to the act of worship is also as we deal with Allah we need certain adamant

00:06:07 --> 00:06:49

etiquettes to follow. There is certain adamant etiquettes when we deal with people, because the previous chapter has a lot of mannerism and etiquettes as well, when he talks about, for example, going to the bathroom, he talks about the etiquettes of going to the bathroom, what the proper exit tickets that you cover yourself. You don't be ledges, you know, impure material talks about the etiquettes of dealing with people with other human beings. When you interact with people around you Muslim or non Muslims, family member or distance from you. How should you do? That's why he talks about a chapter about an adult good manners, a zoo, which is basically this attachment to the dunya

00:06:50 --> 00:06:58

zone it means that you're not so greedy and not so focused about the dunya Can anybody tell me

00:06:59 --> 00:07:02

what this has to do with etiquette with dealing with people?

00:07:03 --> 00:07:12

How is it being a sonic hazard it means that your focus is not the dunya how this impact your behavior with others.

00:07:15 --> 00:07:49

You don't you know, agree you don't cheat. You don't need to lie you need to basically to deceive someone. Also when you're focused on the alpha you willing to forgive easily. I found a zohydro dunya at Pharaoh nazmul fiata tafa I found that the people who their focus in the era, they really don't pick on every fight, they let things go because there is a bigger goal of concern. Also I want to tell you, people have so much respect for you. When people know that you're not looking at what they have in their hands.

00:07:51 --> 00:08:33

People respect you so much. When they know that you're not looking at what they have in their hand. you not want what they have. That's why interviews are seldom said if you have zoomed in what people have in their hands. People will love you. People will respect you. Kyle is had Murphy Aiden, as you have brokenness have Don't be no focus or grainy or dumb. Be Your main interest is what people have, oh, you have this food. Oh, you have this store. You have this game. You have this car, you have this business, you have this money. You have this you have that. If you take this out of your mind and you start that's not your focus, I don't care. May Allah bless you. People start loving you

00:08:33 --> 00:08:36

people don't like the people who will look at what they have.

00:08:37 --> 00:08:42

Also, he talked about the etickets Vicar because

00:08:44 --> 00:08:47

if you want to talk to Allah, how you talk to Allah.

00:08:50 --> 00:08:56

When you make dua, and that's right, when you pray to Allah, Allah when I want to talk to you, what do you do?

00:08:57 --> 00:09:07

Or I'm very good. That's Allah speech DOS, when Allah speak to us, he revealed the Quran and when we want to speak to Allah, what we just raise our hand to pray.

00:09:08 --> 00:09:17

So there is certain etiquette so this etiquette of how to talk and conversate and deal with people and deal with the loss of panel data as well.

00:09:20 --> 00:09:24

And he started with the chapter of the other, okay.

00:09:26 --> 00:09:41

And ended with the chapter of Vicar to tell you, that is unacceptable. What we have today, unfortunately, in the reality of the Muslim today, that we have this strange split

00:09:43 --> 00:10:00

Okay, that I am in the masjid in the salon, very good. But when it comes to dealing with people, I'm not as good as he wants me to be. I follow the shitty somebody to find him. Mashallah Allahu Akbar. He put his hand here he do this into all the details.

00:10:00 --> 00:10:09

But when it comes to talking he lies when it comes to business transactions he cheats when it comes to people's money, he doesn't care

00:10:10 --> 00:10:42

which is so strange, where is this basically where is the impact how this religion is split in your mind and basically was divided into just a rituals an act of worship that you do, but it doesn't have any impact on the way you behave and the way you deal with people it decide it decide that today in Muslim country I grew up as an overseas I grew up to be told be like British, when it comes to

00:10:43 --> 00:10:45

what time

00:10:47 --> 00:10:54

when British person tell you eight o'clock it means eight o'clock. But when they tell you Muslim standard time

00:10:55 --> 00:10:56

It means one hour late

00:10:58 --> 00:11:03

Arab Standard Time extending standard time you know all these we joke we are but decide.

00:11:05 --> 00:11:56

It is very sad that you what is the status we were the model of mannerism and etiquette will lie if you read wall Durant when he wrote his book, The history of civilization today Avada is one of the earliest book I ever purchase for a nun Muslims. Okay, actually, the first book m&r. But for someone who's not Muslim was this book, it was 28 volumes. My dad went crazy when I bought it. He said what do you got open a lot of a library here in my house, a public library, you know, 2828 volumes is very big book, or something like that in 20s. And it talks about the history of humanity and civilization. And the only reason I bought this book because the chapter he was talking about

00:11:56 --> 00:11:57

Muslims in Europe.

00:11:58 --> 00:12:36

And he saw he was talking about how Muslims in Spain and east and south east thought southwest of France and the east side of Europe, the Ottomans, how they are amazing. The way they dress, the way the walk, the way you talk, the talk, the way the eat is so highly, you know a proper etiquette today. When I was young, also my father would want me to learn languages. So he took me to learn French and I was about nine years old or seven years old.

00:12:38 --> 00:12:50

You know what they teach you in French language? They teach you I got nothing of it. Daughter just the only thing I know x is in law and just sweet at the job. I am students that

00:12:54 --> 00:13:06

attend Seon so have a couple of fours still stuck in my mind. But you know what? The most important thing in teaching French was not the French language. Can anybody guess what?

00:13:08 --> 00:13:08


00:13:10 --> 00:13:11

Part of it.

00:13:12 --> 00:13:51

Teaching you French etiquettes Actually, I remember my father telling me make sure that you pick this up and not only revive but many people they're impressed by that. Wow French etiquettes how to eat how to do this. Come on, man. How's that? Any? It is so interesting. It's like me today when I tell my children and my students what are the elements to say when Mama shafia Rahim Allah He was nine years old or 10 years old when his mother said I'm going to send you to Mr. Malik to learn under Malik she told him learn from manex Adam before

00:13:53 --> 00:14:00

you learn from add from Alex the etiquettes the proper manners before you learn from him then

00:14:02 --> 00:14:03

the knowledge the Hadith

00:14:04 --> 00:14:13

it's that's how it used to be today we did you learn the French Egad before the French language it's a sad how things shift.

00:14:14 --> 00:14:22

It decided that today are Muslim students and Muslim kids and Muslims out of the Muslim businessmen and Muslim businesswoman.

00:14:23 --> 00:14:38

And you know leaders are not role models. And you got to be role models not by only how good do you have how good faith you have, you'll be a good role model by how good you behave

00:14:39 --> 00:14:44

as how the role model is and alasa panel and that will bring people that's why I listen

00:14:45 --> 00:14:47

to Mohammed Salim what a

00:14:48 --> 00:14:59

little football boom and how can you want Rasulullah even when he is a messenger of Allah. If Mohammed Salim did not have a good manners people will leave him

00:15:00 --> 00:15:12

Mohammed Al Salam was mean, and, and, and tough and aggressive people will leave him. Doesn't matter what the ending you have, I don't care.

00:15:13 --> 00:15:17

Very few people will be attracted to you because of what you have.

00:15:19 --> 00:15:19


00:15:21 --> 00:15:22


00:15:26 --> 00:15:28

here in ma'am

00:15:30 --> 00:15:32

Urban hajra Rahim Allah Tada.

00:15:34 --> 00:15:50

He start with the chapter about the other, the appropriate etiquettes of dealing with people at large. Then he followed with the chapter of Babel, Barry was Silla, the etiquettes of dealing with parents and family.

00:15:52 --> 00:15:53


00:15:55 --> 00:15:58

In a Muslim did the opposite.

00:15:59 --> 00:16:11

If you ever read, a Muslim Muslim said, the chapter of Albert rasilla, the chapter of dealing with parents and relatives, then he followed with the adult, which is dealing with the general public.

00:16:12 --> 00:16:23

Can you tell me why Muslim did this? What do you think the logic behind that? why someone start? Which one do you think is the best? Yes, got it.

00:16:33 --> 00:17:11

So the first people that you deal with is the closest to you with your family. So if you don't know how to deal with him properly, how would expect you to deal with people who are far away from you? Okay. So that's why Muslims start with this because family have more rights upon you also, then the general public. That's right. And family have more rights over you that so that's why you start with the family, then you go to that general Muslims, and the etiquettes of dealing with them? Like why do you think have been harder to start with the opposite? The general public? Then he goes to that family?

00:17:12 --> 00:17:15

What do you think? would he do that? What do you think his logic is?

00:17:23 --> 00:17:25

general public is not about easy or difficult.

00:17:34 --> 00:18:16

But it's not the end. The six is number two. It's basically it's to logic, you start with the general, then specific. So you go from general to specific to focus, to show the importance of the specific. So for example, I said, Muslim community in Houston, our great community, but you guys included, like out of the best. I go from General, to specific, that's right, to show you the importance. So he said, The dealing with people, then with the parents to show the importance of the parent, you can make the opposite, you start with a specific because that's the focus point, then you go to the general,

00:18:18 --> 00:18:31

or the bigger circle makes sense. it both ways acceptable. It just a different way of looking at it. And maybe also, maybe that's me, I have another opinion about it. I don't know what you guys think.

00:18:32 --> 00:18:33

Have you ever been like

00:18:34 --> 00:18:37

that behaving with parents

00:18:38 --> 00:18:41

is something it's natural.

00:18:42 --> 00:18:50

It's something most of people pick up, especially in the old days. You know, if you don't know how to talk to your parents,

00:18:51 --> 00:18:53

they will teach you how to talk to that.

00:18:55 --> 00:19:37

You didn't need to teach you how to be respectful to your mom, you know, you didn't need a book to tell you that. So that's right. That's why he started with the general public, before the parents because he was thinking, maybe the parents and knowing the parents is something you will pick on your own. So there's no it's not as important as missing as dealing with the general public. Also, because you love your parents so much, and we love some families so much, you will naturally start being good to them. But that's not the case of the general public. So that's why he started with them, because he wants you to have that respect that you have for the family to have for the public.

00:19:37 --> 00:19:46

That's my opinion why he started with this chapter. Was it the general one versus the specific? I don't know that makes sense to you.

00:19:47 --> 00:19:55

This book ojama has 131 Hadeeth. Okay, which is going to be covered during our classes

00:19:56 --> 00:19:59

and 130 100. It has six chapters.

00:20:00 --> 00:20:01

Okay, the first one,

00:20:02 --> 00:20:16

the etiquettes of dealing with people, then it was similar the etiquettes and dude being beautiful and good to your parents and relatives, Zoo dwara being dis attached to the dunya. Okay,

00:20:17 --> 00:20:23

I'll tell you, this attachment to the denier is test based on your age based on what you have in your hand.

00:20:26 --> 00:20:47

Somebody told me, don't worry, share everybody in this gathering Zod, we don't have any money hamdulillah and if you squeeze my, if you look at if I can tell you if I put my hand and use his pocket, it will come as clean as you know, as you can think nothing is I'm not gonna have any but it's not about those

00:20:49 --> 00:20:55

might be your test is for example, someone who's so attached to his hair.

00:20:57 --> 00:21:11

So attached to his clothes, so attached to his games, thread, so attached to certain toys or game or so attached to, you know, even a relationship

00:21:12 --> 00:21:18

with someone and so attached to that it's a worldly matter so attached to to money,

00:21:19 --> 00:21:32

maybe food, it's very hard for me to be attached to food, you know, trying, man, believe me if I tell you, I always tell food no but food don't listen.

00:21:35 --> 00:21:35

So, hey.

00:21:37 --> 00:22:16

But you know what, whenever you have that zone is you know what, I am not my main focus, it's not my main priority. There is something more important when salaat comes when a buddy comes when when a choice between the dounia and alpha comes I know which one to choose. And then after that, he talked about the opposite. He said warning you from bad manners, then instead of ending with a negative point, he ended with a positive one he said in Bible a theory from Academy of law that encouraging you to care for the best of manners, by the way manners different than etiquettes

00:22:17 --> 00:22:53

etiquettes lead to good manners manners, the behavior in general, the your mannerism okay. But etiquettes is the certain etiquettes that you do and certain rules and certain set of rules that you should follow in certain areas in your life. And that adopting this will lead to be a person of good manners. Also, then he ended with what Allah subhanho wa Taala how to deal with a lot when you pray when you make them thicker. And also I do believe he ended with this liquor liquor for a reason, which is

00:22:54 --> 00:22:57

because that's how he says salaam aleikum goodbye

00:22:59 --> 00:23:13

and nothing he can leave you to protect you after he told you all the ruling of Islam, which is sometimes hard to remember all of them to practice all of them. But there is one thing can protect you forever, which is a drought with vigor.

00:23:16 --> 00:23:30

And that's why it's part of a llama Rahim Allah, way of frightening evil Buhari when he ended the end of this drought with his book with the vicar with a hadith about Vicar. And that's something common in the way that Rhoda Monahan will not write their

00:23:31 --> 00:23:43

books. So the first chapter, which is the chapter of an edit etickets, it has 15 Hadith only had how many Hadith 15 Hadith? Can anybody tell me? What's the word adept means?

00:23:44 --> 00:24:00

I always want you guys, especially those who don't speak Arabic. There are certain terminologies in Islam, you will never appreciate it until we know what it means in Arabic. And I can tell you what I am going to tell you right now.

00:24:02 --> 00:24:14

I can tell you with full confidence, not a single one of one who speaks Arabic right now in this mustard knows what's the word really means. An Arabic language.

00:24:19 --> 00:24:24

Know where the root of the word adept came from? Anybody knows.

00:24:25 --> 00:24:28

H monochromator. The minnow in Jad.

00:24:33 --> 00:24:47

What's a dump came from what that word, the root because every word has a root. What's the real root of this word? Believe it or not. The word adept comes from the word dooba.

00:24:49 --> 00:24:50

What's dooba

00:24:52 --> 00:24:54

connected or dooba dooba

00:24:56 --> 00:24:59

feast. We invite people to eat it

00:25:00 --> 00:25:05

It's in, actually the word linguistically it means inviting

00:25:07 --> 00:25:18

an adult who adult and tender in San Yanni to deliver a coupon and Dubai, new de la Hannah's will add the word die.

00:25:19 --> 00:26:00

In Arabic language is the person who invites people like what's adept at them, it means something that will invite others. So that's why the Arab use this word to describe the best of etiquettes. And the best of manners, because the best way of behaving the color, good, adapt, because it invites people to love you, invites people to like you, invites people to be connected to you. So the more you have added, the more you will be connected, the more you will invite others to think positive of you, you attract people to you, it's like a magnet.

00:26:01 --> 00:26:36

And it's a very unique meaning to the word. Okay. And as an Imam had been hijacked by him a whole lot, it himself said when he explained that chapter of an urban Sahil Buhari adaboost a man who my motto powerline warfare Allah, it refer to anything that is good, you can say or you can do and some scholars said an adept basically is good manners. It is to do what is good and to abstain from what is bad.

00:26:41 --> 00:26:42

I am Rahim Allah

00:26:43 --> 00:27:16

will add the boogeyman inside inhale. And Adam it means is to invite to you is to bring to you all the good qualities. So Adam it means to adapt to invites. That means something can be earned. That's right, because you invite it to you, you earn it, you learn it, you basically bring it in, you start practicing. Okay, can I use HTML and nasil either do in a shape

00:27:17 --> 00:27:40

in a way sometimes the word edit okay. In our in the scholars use the word to refer to the proper etiquettes like the adept of eating the proper eating if you don't eat while your mouth open you don't eat okay too much you don't fill your mouth with food. You eat with three fingers you know don't like pick up

00:27:42 --> 00:28:00

in the old days they use their hands they now today can How can this be resemble in modern days wave eating? And the old days they said don't fill your hand with food. Today we say Don't fool the spoon with food. You have the spoon over like overvolt on the rise falling off

00:28:01 --> 00:28:08

know or do you take that big spoon you know the the serving spoon at your spoon

00:28:11 --> 00:28:16

I saw once an exercise speaking of serving spoon it's a nice exercise

00:28:18 --> 00:28:18

I saw

00:28:21 --> 00:28:21

in a workshop

00:28:23 --> 00:28:25

so he gave to the people attendees

00:28:26 --> 00:28:27

to big spoons like this

00:28:29 --> 00:28:40

okay he gave like three sets of people every couple he gave each one of them big spoons like those and he said try to eat with it he put on the top of it like a cherry or like strawberries and eat it

00:28:42 --> 00:28:42

people like

00:28:45 --> 00:29:03

him and he tried everything but the rule is you know allowed to bend your knee your hand or something like that. I forgot now what's the condition after everybody failed? Is it okay I can show you so easy. He took the spoon and he fed the other person and the other person fed him

00:29:05 --> 00:29:14

he said sometimes we forgot that you can achieve what you want but with a little bit of help of others it was a good exercise I'll never forget that

00:29:15 --> 00:29:35

anyway so going back to the point sometimes like these the other okay like for there is a dab of drinking and who solemn said and that's what we're going to learn this basically hopefully, some of these things. The idea of drinking you don't like some people in the drink can never be so solid when he drinks.

00:29:36 --> 00:29:39

He will not have the whole thing at once.

00:29:41 --> 00:29:43

Niger so

00:29:45 --> 00:29:50

but when he he basically it's like when you take a sip by straw

00:29:51 --> 00:29:59

cannon so your muscle map. That's how he drink it. You know he doesn't like open his mouth and just do the whole entire thing at once.

00:30:00 --> 00:30:41

There is a depth for walking at a program to sleep. And Milan wrote books about that. Sometimes said this adept and the means recommended act. Okay? And sometimes they say either it means something you've been encouraged to do, it doesn't matter commanded or must, for example, the etiquettes of going to the bathroom, you must clean yourself after you finish urinating for example, you must, but still, that's Adam. So Adam is not only restricted to what's recommended, but also can means wide. Also, the old adage sometimes referred to as de beuchat means representing someone

00:30:43 --> 00:30:59

who are who hunted bait, even though it is weak, but it is he said, this is well, you know, it's like the stick or it will make people behave properly. I don't know. I have something hanging on my kitchen it says looks like

00:31:01 --> 00:31:03

cool attitude adjuster. spanker

00:31:05 --> 00:31:07

Okay, I never used it in my life.

00:31:09 --> 00:31:19

You know, but it is an attitude adjuster. That deep, okay? I'm not saying you do it, but just to Joe modeling anything else.

00:31:20 --> 00:32:11

Also, the word adept, if somebody familiar with that, very commonly used to refer to literature, Arabic literature, like poetry, good story, good speech, you know to be skillful speaker, you know how to give hope about how that's good as the goal was added, how to write good writing, and that's how I've no kataeb no, contabo himolla wrote a book called edible catnip, the other writers, he talks about nothing about etiquette, he talks about how to write, how to be a good writer, how to be a good poet, and so forth. And this used for the word edit to refer to literature. Okay, it's a new use new use, never known in the time of the process, Allah or the Sahaba it came later on min Allah

00:32:11 --> 00:32:19

that Allah, they call it it's a newborn word. They call it one lead. Yeah. And it's something invented. Okay.

00:32:20 --> 00:32:30

That's why they call the person who do good speech. He's very eloquent speaker or write very well they call him a deep

00:32:31 --> 00:32:34

not because there's a good manner actually Muslim poets

00:32:35 --> 00:32:41

especially in some area in Islam like an Apache time and stuff like that. They have no idea at all.

00:32:45 --> 00:33:08

Rama Rahim Allah wrote many books about the concept of edible etiquettes sometimes it's part of their books, in almost every books of Hadith, there is a chapter about adept Bihari Muslim you name it to me the Messiah magic and also in books have appealed to me and talked about the etiquettes of dealing with others, also the books of Hadith like a collection of

00:33:09 --> 00:33:31

like a hedgerow here also the books affect every chapter, every chapter in the books of regular books a book there is inside every chapter certain had it about other. So, when you talk about the rules and in relation to using the bathroom, there is always a chapter about the etiquettes a marriage The etiquettes

00:33:32 --> 00:33:35

had the etiquettes you know and

00:33:36 --> 00:34:13

purification will move the etiquettes not wastewater not to this not to do this, even will talk about ruling Kava, like being a judge, the etiquettes of the judge and so forth. But some even brought a whole entire book about the concept of etiquettes. Like what they would do dunia would do demon Eggman makuta one of the best books that I enjoyed our the Rahim Allah wrote a book called the etiquettes of the dunya and the deen also betterton majelis and I'm matchbook by underbara very small. I double shot

00:34:15 --> 00:34:28

him a whole lot. And it's a very Book Three thick volumes that will shock maluma to adapt. This is the most famous text that we have ever about mannerism and etiquettes.

00:34:30 --> 00:34:34

So not a common new name is Abdullah Abdullah

00:34:35 --> 00:34:43

Abdullah Abdullah Abdullah Ali is very how many personally I've ever met his name Abdul probably. I'll probably it means the strongest

00:34:45 --> 00:34:56

the ever strongest which is Allah subhanaw taala one of his names and explained in details by henneberry fapy from Jerusalem. His name is Safari near him allow to add him

00:34:59 --> 00:34:59

also have been has

00:35:00 --> 00:35:26

has a book called column with auto sear and was translated to English. It's also amazing book. Some even brought a book specifically about etiquettes. But in certain areas, like for example, the etiquettes of Assam aeronautical lymphie, edible animal medallion, the etiquettes of the learner of knowledge and the teacher of the knowledge, the one who writes the Hadeeth, a double in law, the some Annie for example.

00:35:28 --> 00:35:35

Sometimes it's a book the other foot year the etiquettes of giving fatwa, the etiquettes of eating, aka hussy,

00:35:36 --> 00:35:51

the etiquettes of children how to deal with children. Lin hate me, Rahim, Allah etiquettes of debates. Shanklin, eaudiobook etiquettes of business transactions, how to sell how to buy tickets of dialogue, it tickets of

00:35:52 --> 00:36:23

marriage, weddings, the wedding nights and etiquettes in relation to that night, and the etiquettes of treating orphans. The etiquette of the doctors believe it or not, all these books written by Muslim scholars for hundreds of years ago about certain topics in the etiquettes it's a very well documented knowledge and want to share with you something said by many scholars and we pay attention to

00:36:25 --> 00:36:27

this eminent scholars named Abdullah elemi who

00:36:29 --> 00:36:31

is like a member of our time.

00:36:32 --> 00:36:36

Okay, he died 100 years ago Muslim that

00:36:38 --> 00:36:39

is an amazing his colors.

00:36:41 --> 00:36:41


00:36:44 --> 00:37:01

basically he printed a book called a double move for the Buhari, adapt and move forward in Mubarak. Anybody knows this book, what this book means I don't move forward. It means all Buhari said a fraud to either be keytab in oil say.

00:37:03 --> 00:37:52

He said there's no law. I wrote a book about other etiquette and manners. And I separated it from my book, which is saying Bahati, the collection Zohan. Why? Because he believed that this concept deserve a book by itself. That's why he wrote it, because he believed that this concept is so important that it should not be part of my book, it shouldn't be a book by itself. And he wrote a book that unmatched unbelievable book. So, ultimately, Amani when he authenticated the book and he basically published it he wrote in a very beautiful introduction and a wanted quote for you something he said that really resonated with me for a good reasons and I hope it will do the same

00:37:52 --> 00:38:12

with you. He said Lacan axon una bella Islam in mcculley soon the sincere Muslims realize how Muslim today are so weak are so down are so divided. I so behind when have been

00:38:13 --> 00:38:22

okay, the Muslim world, he said and the Muslim general he said and the reason for that it is because the left Islam

00:38:24 --> 00:38:57

the Muslim by name, but they don't practice Islam. Islam has no real impact in their life. And the reason Islam is not a reality in their life for three reasons. Listen carefully. Why the Muslims don't practice Islam. Why Muslims Islam is another reality in their life for three reasons. Number one, international money simply been been been because people practice things. They think it is Islam but it's not Islam.

00:38:58 --> 00:39:01

Its culture or it is bizarre.

00:39:03 --> 00:39:04

It is bizarre.

00:39:05 --> 00:39:17

There is a French speak of a French today a French historian said that I visited the Muslim world.

00:39:18 --> 00:39:20

Okay, about what

00:39:24 --> 00:39:32

200 300 years ago okay. He said a visited on a travel from Alabama what is Aleppo

00:39:33 --> 00:39:41

Syria to Baghdad okay. And in the way there were Eclipse

00:39:43 --> 00:39:59

there what the eclipse of the moon. So all the Muslims came out in the cities that I was going through, on witnessed and whenever the clubs the Muslim will go out with pens and paper

00:40:01 --> 00:40:08

pans and pots and spoons and plates then they start

00:40:11 --> 00:40:19

hating the pots and the pans and the plates and making noise everywhere.

00:40:21 --> 00:40:22

And I said to them

00:40:24 --> 00:40:48

why why Muslim do that when Eclipse happened? They said because the moon and sun are fighting one another and we are worried if we are fighting one another one win. So either we will never see daylight the rest of our life or we will never see night and the rest of our life depends who's gonna win.

00:40:50 --> 00:41:06

And he starts saying and how ignorant those Muslims are, what kind of religion they have attacking muscles. He's not lying. He said what he saw and he said what people told him why they're doing this for

00:41:08 --> 00:41:10

but with a little bit of research

00:41:13 --> 00:41:16

you will know that this has a story where this came from

00:41:19 --> 00:41:23

first of all when there is except Eclipse What should we do as a Muslim?

00:41:24 --> 00:41:28

go pray how we ended up from praying to

00:41:30 --> 00:41:31

heading possum

00:41:32 --> 00:41:48

making noise Have you ever heard of the mogul? Who laco the famous mogul emperor who came and he wiped out but that he killed 2 million people and bombed that in few days

00:41:50 --> 00:41:54

he was an unbelievable what

00:41:55 --> 00:42:37

a murder he came from were from middle Asia it's an it's a nation the mogul Empire they came in the wiped out they were not Muslims are wiped out the Muslim world of understand Pakistan, India, all this like area, Iran all the way to Baghdad and he continue all the way to Syria. And he was defeated in Palestine right before he reached Egypt, because that was like the biggest stronghold that time left to destroy. Okay, what this man when he arrived about that he captured he captured. A scholar is not a Muslim Sunni scholars is bootsy

00:42:38 --> 00:42:43

Masuda. Boosie is a she a scholar? So no, sir. No, sir.

00:42:45 --> 00:42:50

Okay, what he did, he's he used to

00:42:51 --> 00:42:53

he'll know, astronaut.

00:42:54 --> 00:43:14

So he knows how to calculate the days and the moons and the stars and the seasons. He's very good. And malaco don't believe in that. And he's so untie this. So when he heard that this man knows that. He said, either you prove me that this science is true, or I'm going to kill you.

00:43:15 --> 00:43:24

Because I heard that you teaching it. So he said I can prove for you. He said what he said in this day, there will be Eclipse in the moon. I calculated that.

00:43:26 --> 00:43:37

He said, Listen, I put you in jail. If the eclipse didn't happen, you're dead. I'll put your I'll make your Eclipse. Clip your head, you know.

00:43:38 --> 00:43:46

And guess what? The day came and Eclipse took place does a good calculation. But what happened?

00:43:47 --> 00:43:51

her lack of the general was drunk and sleep.

00:43:53 --> 00:43:55

And no one there to wake him up.

00:43:57 --> 00:44:13

No one was there to wake him up. So he said Did he see they said no, he asleep? Wake him up. He's into crazy. Nobody gonna wake him up. He will kill me if I wake him up. You have to do something. And all those people are pagans worshiper.

00:44:14 --> 00:44:58

So to say he told them you know what? You see the moon disappeared. They said yes, we sweat what will happen. He said, If you don't go out right now, making noise with whatever you have, the moon will never come back to you will disappear and the sun will defeat the moon and the moon will never come back for the rest of its life for the rest of your life. So what to do? Because you predicted that he said what you need to do, you make noise so the moon get excited and the fight. So they went out with the pots and pans start heading. And actually that's where this practice happened. That's about 300 years before that French

00:45:00 --> 00:45:38

scour for 100 years before the French historian visited the Muslim world. Guess what? The oldest why he did that, because he wanted that general to wake up. So actually he did would come because of all this noise happening around him in the streets and everywhere. So what happened in the clubs at all, so this man is right. And after that, he became so close to the general of Calico, and he helped him to kill the Sunni actually. And, and, and that later on in the album in the US, and even the Muslims in general and above that, and that's the reason he became too close to that.

00:45:40 --> 00:45:54

The ruler of the moguls, a lot of people don't know the story behind how they come became too close to each other. So anyway, going back to the point C, so people after generation thought that this is part of the deen

00:45:55 --> 00:46:14

which is not part of the dean, so many innovations and unlimited number one, people do things from religions, not from religion, its innovations, people teach you things which is not from the Islam, not from the sinner. And you think it is? That day, for example, somebody was telling me is it's in the chef, that for example, that

00:46:18 --> 00:46:23

every time you make, okay, you have to kiss your fingers and you close your eyes.

00:46:24 --> 00:46:25

Like those? No.

00:46:27 --> 00:46:57

So people make up stuff. Number two, how buffel yaqeen Bhima who Amina de Sala. So first, you practice things you think if religion is not second, is that what is from the religion, you don't really, truly believe in it, your faith is weak. And the third, he said, I had them with MLB Academy Dean Bafana that the third one is even if you know it's true, you don't practice.

00:46:59 --> 00:47:04

And he went went down, down down and he talked about this. Then he said in the end, what's this the point?

00:47:06 --> 00:47:08

He said and I do believe my let me say

00:47:10 --> 00:47:28

that learning the etiquettes of Mohammed Salim when it comes to the proper etiquette of Salah cm of traveling, of interacting, of sleeping, of walking, of eating, of drinking, of talking or being silent, the etiquettes of every manners and life.

00:47:29 --> 00:47:37

If you care for it, and you practice it, it will be the solution. And in my opinion,

00:47:39 --> 00:48:18

the only solution that will change the behavior of the Muslims, because at that moment, they will breathe Islam. And they will practice Islam, and they will work and practice Islam. They go to bed practicing Islam, they walk and they think about Muhammad Hassan as role model, when they eat when they drink when the when they when they go to the bathroom, when you go out when they deal with people, when they are with their friends, when they play when they play with each others. When they talk about others in their absence, the old thing that Muhammad SAW in front of them, and that's the etiquette that I do. He said, If you do that, your whole life will change. And if you live change,

00:48:18 --> 00:49:04

the Obama will change. And he went in details, but I just want to tell you why. And that's why I mean hajra himolla. He talked about also this book that he said and because of the importance of the subject of Buhari, right? So number one, it gets it what identify your identity as Muslim. I asked earlier, my son, and my son told me Oh, it's 123. And he coded things that you heard it from check him out. Okay, so which is good. But I said to him, but it's good thing to say, oh, proper etiquettes to talk this way to show that. But another level is to do this because Mohammed did this. That's another level. Another level, the proper etiquette is not to eat too fast. But it's another

00:49:04 --> 00:49:22

level to say, I don't eat too fast because that's how the person wanted me to do at another level of religiosity. It connects you more to Islam. And this is became what we call Islamic culture, Islamic identity. It is in these etiquettes

00:49:24 --> 00:49:57

you know, Islam has an identity we call it symbol khattala. It is like a paint symbol that means like paint, this is entity. That's why you ask what Islam has to do with my hair, how it cuts my hair, what Islam has to do with my clothes, with the color of my shirt with Islam, what to do with the length of my Islam with to do with covering my hair or not to cover my hair as a sister. Yes, Islam has to do with that. Actually, Islam is like a paint. It goes inside the body and it became part of its identity.

00:50:00 --> 00:50:42

Lots of panels are an ambu Sakuma alikum Nara protect your family from hellfire. Guess what Adam said? He said how you do that kind of remove the boom by teaching them knowledge and teach them the proper etiquettes Mujahid said, it means protect yourself and your family from Hellfire by what? By knowing the proper etiquettes of Islam and by having taqwa that's why nobody so solemn said teach your children teach your family at the Houston Harlequin either teach them good manners and etiquettes so etiquette is something that the prophets are solemn emphasis on it

00:50:45 --> 00:51:02

guys Adnan robotic die in the 200 181 seconds he said I sick I stopped seeking knowledge and I learned something but I stopped learning at that looking for people who really have a very they behaved very well. And he said I have found very few

00:51:05 --> 00:51:05


00:51:06 --> 00:51:11

events 200 years after Islam after Mohammed solemn time, what do you think now?

00:51:13 --> 00:51:19

The second reason why I want to encourage you to be committed I promise she's not going to be ever long as this again.

00:51:20 --> 00:51:32

Because the manner of the more you know about etiquettes the more your heart will be full of life. And I mean by that so attach to Allah.

00:51:33 --> 00:51:43

Just imagine you wake up the etiquette is to say Alhamdulillah and the etiquettes is in the visa Salaam. When he wakes up he does like

00:51:45 --> 00:52:25

he wipe the sleeping away. Make sure your hands are clean. Okay, the etiquettes is to do this. When you go to the bathroom or enter the bathroom before you eat when you finish eating. When you talk with someone when you go to work when you ride your car on into the muscle meter. Can you imagine your whole life in a certain etiquettes when you see the new moon you see the croissant? Can you imagine this life how much you will be aware how much you will be thinking about Mohammed Salim and about Allah subhanaw taala about Allah subhanaw taala that's why you're here, the more answered man at the villa, Allah if you follow these proper adapt, Allah loves you because that means you follow

00:52:25 --> 00:53:01

the religion and the thing that Allah wants to see you and that's why it no matter Himalayan, okay you mentioned and murasaki he said one of the sign of acceptance, that you will be guided to good etiquettes three, I think what identify as a good human being is a good behavior, a good etiquettes that will differentiate you between you and animals. It's not your muscles. It's not how smart you are. It's how well behaved you are, how well mannered you are. I said something a poetry that I love. It says

00:53:02 --> 00:53:30

not to swab on Alibaba Julie, the anchor swab wambo in Adobe feluda Olam mean hora fo let me refer you in Albanian Urdu and how to be a Santa he said don't look at how well dressed people are we close and look painting no look at their manners and the route you know the the whole you know the the pieces that were burned and bring good smell

00:53:31 --> 00:53:32

you know?

00:53:34 --> 00:53:35

Basically what do you call

00:53:37 --> 00:53:42

Anson incense? Okay, you put it and it will produce good smell. That's right.

00:53:43 --> 00:53:59

Have you seen it before? It's like a piece of wood. Okay, go outside to that ditch but don't fall on the ditch. Um, break a piece of wood from any dead tree there. I'm Bernard until me how smell bad or good?

00:54:00 --> 00:54:03

bad smell bad is gonna be smoke.

00:54:04 --> 00:54:33

Okay, it's just gonna make you can't breathe, but that they look the same. But what comes out of them distinguish that, from that would what comes out of you how you behave, how you talk, how well mannered you are will distinguish if you are a piece of food worth nothing or your food which is very expensive. That's what makes the difference.

00:54:35 --> 00:54:40

So here it Nabi sallallahu Sallam said in Alhaji Asana and this

00:54:42 --> 00:54:47

hadith and Sunnah was sent when it disarmed Jews Minh comes in what

00:54:49 --> 00:54:53

is sent me the problem said al had you signing any

00:54:54 --> 00:55:00

and had you sign it means that your righteousness and dissent your ethics

00:55:00 --> 00:55:25

gets you the way you carry yourself. When you decide that you're calm, you're wise, your content. These are all part of prophethood it means this is part of the quality of profits. That's why a lot used to sight we used to travel to Massoud to learn from his scent from his look from his behavior,

00:55:26 --> 00:55:27

not from his.

00:55:29 --> 00:55:32

That's why no MOBOTIX said we need manners more than knowledge.

00:55:34 --> 00:55:51

And number four, why I think it's pretty important, because I do believe so to distinguish you as a human being and distinguish you as a good Muslims as well. Number four, I do believe good etiquette is the only way to ensure that we'll have a good relationship among us as family among us as

00:55:53 --> 00:56:30

community and friends. If you don't know how to talk to each other, if we didn't know how to listen to each other, if we don't know how to debate with each other, if we didn't know how to disagree with each others, if we didn't know how to love each other to accommodate one another, we're never going to live as a good family. We're never going to live as a good community as a good citizen of society. Number five, I think that good etiquettes knowing how to carry yourself in a proper way, and to have this goodness makes you love. Make people love you. And if people love you, it gives you the opportunity to be a good guy. calling people towards is good. Because believe me people stay

00:56:30 --> 00:57:01

away from bad people. The process of them said the worst of people in the Las pantallas eyes. mintaka Vanessa Takashi Bukhari, the people who avoided them because there are bad that's the worst person in the alumni. People. Don't invite them so and so to the group to dinner. Ah, no, no jacala don't invite him to dinner. Don't let him come to play with us. No, no, no, no, no, don't invite him to the whatsapp group. No, no, no, no, no, you know, keep him out. This some people?

00:57:02 --> 00:57:13

Why did you invite her to my house? This the worst if you when people don't like Why? Because their tongue is very sharp. If you look at how remember him a lot, we're very attracted to you because of their manners.

00:57:15 --> 00:57:15


00:57:16 --> 00:57:30

everything you heard, and lectures and drama and books and classes about good manners. It comes from good etiquettes do the proper etiquette of Islam, you will end up with a good manners, symbols.

00:57:32 --> 00:57:32


00:57:34 --> 00:57:55

so inshallah This is just some introductions. And I want you to know that many of the Islamic etiquettes or Islamic etiquettes, they're not related to custom culture. They don't change by time. This the etiquettes doesn't matter 21st century, or it is the first century in Islam. But some are related to culture.

00:57:57 --> 00:58:05

So I'm not going to pick on this like for example, I give you an example. an Imam, Abu hanifa Rahim Allah said, I never stretch my feet

00:58:06 --> 00:58:10

towards my teachers house, not teachers face.

00:58:11 --> 00:58:18

Okay, my teachers house over his house this direction, I'll go this direction inside my house.

00:58:20 --> 00:58:39

You know, it wasn't easy. They never drink water in front of my teacher. Out of respect. But today, it might not consider at this little spot to drink water in front of your oh my god for me. You know what? I would never dare to eat before my Father eat.

00:58:40 --> 00:58:42

I'm sure the older among us knows that.

00:58:44 --> 00:58:46

I would never eat before my Father eat.

00:58:49 --> 00:58:51

Today I'm lucky if my kids leave something for me.

00:58:54 --> 00:58:58

And I don't blame my kids because they know if I eat or finish anything but

00:59:00 --> 00:59:02

but you know, it just

00:59:03 --> 00:59:11

it just different. You know, in old days, and old days, when you shake your hands dad your hand you kiss your dad's hands and heads

00:59:13 --> 00:59:19

and our culture maybe that's not the way so it's not i'm not saying oh you don't have the stomach etiquette. Don't kiss my hand.

00:59:21 --> 00:59:32

Okay, or you don't guess my head. But it's a different culture you should be. That's not what I cared for. But what I care for is in Islam, it doesn't matter what it is. You can't raise your voice

00:59:34 --> 00:59:35

in front of your father.

00:59:36 --> 00:59:42

In Islam, you can't strike your father. No matter what it is no matter how tall you are.

00:59:44 --> 00:59:51

As an etiquette doesn't change, you can disobey your father. You can make you cannot make your father go to bed angry at you.

00:59:52 --> 00:59:53

You can do that

00:59:55 --> 00:59:56

as proper etiquette.

00:59:58 --> 00:59:59

So also

01:00:00 --> 01:00:04

want you to know that this etiquette doesn't come just overnight

01:00:05 --> 01:00:22

and has an adversary said, cannot diminish this and attain Thomasson attain, he goes two years focus on nothing by learning etiquettes and after a while, he goes back for another two years, only to focus on this. So Fiona Sonia Khan kinda had

01:00:23 --> 01:00:28

to burn Hadith to double tap by the Kabbalah dedication in Asana.

01:00:29 --> 01:00:58

Before you learn Hadith, you spent 20 years doing nothing by learning how to pray properly to meet the MLA, all this kind of stuff to know etiquettes then you learn how to, you know why? Because they should incentive it means from year one to year 20 so they start learning Hadith, and 2122 20. But all this time, it should be invested in learning etiquettes that's why it is so sad that we don't invest this anymore inside our homes.

01:01:00 --> 01:01:18

Kabir told me about a book, just I'm so fascinated by the idea of the book, and he gave a presentation here about it, which is the collapsing parenting. And I think from what I understand, it is that idea that I don't care anymore to teach my kids advocates and I don't have a firm stance about it.

01:01:20 --> 01:01:24

That's not acceptable. That's not right. That's correct.

01:01:25 --> 01:01:33

Adnan Mubarak was everybody talk about adapt Kota memobottle admin robotic said para, para Tina son Asana Elementary in Asana.

01:01:34 --> 01:01:41

I spent 30 years teaching my self how to behave well. And 20 years to learn.

01:01:43 --> 01:01:44


01:01:45 --> 01:01:50

finally, I'd say is a set point and comes to etiquettes.

01:01:51 --> 01:01:56

Learning etiquettes it needs a more of be a role model.

01:01:57 --> 01:01:59

need someone that you copy?

01:02:01 --> 01:02:01

Kids don't Muslim?

01:02:03 --> 01:02:05

Kids look and watch.

01:02:06 --> 01:02:09

People don't listen as much as they impact by what they see.

01:02:11 --> 01:02:33

That's why I blame even hubby. He said my father sent me and he said go to for tourists scholars learn from them, but learn from their manners, their behavior the way they behave more than their knowledge. Because I do believe learning good behavior is more important than learning the knowledge.

01:02:35 --> 01:02:40

I told you earlier what's my medic Rahim Allah. His story with an Imam Shafi Rahim Allah

01:02:42 --> 01:02:43

Hi, I am

01:02:44 --> 01:02:46

a double major. And one

01:02:47 --> 01:02:48


01:02:50 --> 01:02:53

the more well mannered, the more

01:02:54 --> 01:03:02

you behave good and you have good etiquette. The more you're successful, and the more you're happy.

01:03:03 --> 01:03:31

We're kidding little edibles. And the list of add up you have in one shot power to your body. It's a sign of declining and losing famous to Julie bajo dunia voila heal the goodness of this life and Next, the mythril Adam nothing will bring to you the best of this dunya and the best of the ACA like good manners and good behavior. What is to deliver hermano Houma the Mississippi little Adam

01:03:33 --> 01:03:52

and nothing will make you lose both like bad manners. And that's actually the last point to have Shaolin next week. I promise you our class will never go beyond 40 minutes inshallah Tada. From now on, but this is a long introduction. I don't want next week to have an introduction and in

01:03:54 --> 01:04:05

from 35 minutes to 40 minutes maximum Charlottetown and next week, we will have the first Hadeeth in Sha Matata have multiple scenarios. Thank you very much Santa Monica Toma.

Share Page

Related Episodes