The Muslim Family #45 – Parents in the Qur’an

share this pageShare Page
Tim Humble

Channel: Tim Humble

Series:

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:00--> 00:00:04

What are kulu filco Ronnie Naja E

00:00:05--> 00:00:16

to carry Moosa Lu wa colocar La La, la de la Lu. Well, Mustafa al de

00:00:17--> 00:01:03

leeuw and Hamza hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was salam, ala Abdullah who was solely Nabina Muhammad while early he was so happy ah mine Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. We begin as always by praising Allah by asking Allah to exalt dimension in Grand peace to our messenger Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to his family and his companions. Were continuing with the theme of builderall while eating, and in the previous episode, we had concluded with the ayah from Surah Nisa, in which Eliza said what about wahala Toshiko Piaget will be Wiley, Dania Santa's worship Allah and don't make any partner with him and have his son towards your parents. And we

00:01:03--> 00:01:21

mentioned that his son here, there are two very important things that we should take from it. First of all, it is general it covers every aspect of their lives and yours. And that's because the lies which I didn't specify a particular kind of air sign in the eye, he kept it general to every kind of his son.

00:01:23--> 00:02:09

And son, we said it has two meanings. We said that it can relate to doing a good action, seeing a good thing. Hold on, hasn't we're Fairlawn hasn't a good statement and a good action. And it can also relate to exceeding the expectations. So we said that from this we can take that we should be ahead of our parents needs, we should be keen to do things for them before they ask for it. And we say that really you can't say that a person who does what their parents ask them? You can't really call that a sir not from both kinds of asset, it might fall under one kind of as an as in a center, you did something good, you did the right thing.

00:02:10--> 00:02:42

But in terms of the i in which allies which I said in the La Jolla model bill, ideally, well, Sandy, what evil quarterback that our law commands justice, and he said that justice is that your parents ask for something and you give it to them your parents require obedience and you obey them. But it son is to go beyond that. And that is that you? You look after the needs of your parents before they even ask for them. And you avoid things that you know they would dislike before they

00:02:43--> 00:03:25

have to express that they dislike them and inshallah to Allah we're continuing on with looking at barrel Wiley Deen in the Quran in and we're going to move on to the ayah in sort of a slot in which Allah subhanaw taala said, we're called our Rob Booker and caribou Illa Yeah, we're bill Wiley the center in May of Leuven in DeKalb. Kibera aha to Houma, Oklahoma Farah Taku lahoma of what I can help una wakulla Houma Colin Karima wa feel that Homer Jenner havalim in our Rama Walker Rob Burnham, hoonah kemah Rob biani, Sameera

00:03:27--> 00:03:44

and your Lord has commanded here Kaaba can mean hacker, Mr. That Eliza gel has jazz ruled or a lie. So gel has commanded wasa Allah subhanaw taala has established

00:03:45--> 00:04:03

the command that you worship non butthead and as we said, just like we said in the A and sort of Tunis app, this is how polite hallelujah a but it is the right of Allah over his service. And yeah, I will do what I shreeka they worship Him

00:04:04--> 00:04:20

and they don't make any partner with him. That is the right of Allah azzawajal over his servants. And again here Allah azza wa jal follows up his right wobble while retaining aksana

00:04:21--> 00:04:36

and have a son towards your parents. And we've spoken about that, as we said in the commentary on the previous I then Eliza which I set in my blue one in DeKalb, Kibera I had Obama Oklahoma,

00:04:37--> 00:05:00

and if they reach old age, one of them or both of them here The question is, why did Eliza Joel mentioned old age? Because even from the IRA which precedes what build worry, Dana center, there is no limit to the sun. It's not a sign in old age. It's not a sign when you

00:05:00--> 00:05:47

You are young or they are young or you're old or they are old. They're Hassan is general in every kind of situation. So why highlight old age here, all the age here is not highlighted in a restrictive sense, in the in the in the sense that it's not restricting being good to your parents when they reach old age, however, it's because of the increased need when they're old. Perhaps when a parent is young, they don't have as much need of their children. They perhaps don't require In fact, perhaps the the balance is towards the other way in which children are young and the parents are going through a great deal of hardship to look old look after those children when they are

00:05:47--> 00:06:33

young. But when they reach old age here is the Malvina, the expectation is that the parents will need the children. And that's why it is for an increased emphasis, but not to restrict. That means that the ruling here is not restricted to when they're old. It applies to when they're young and when they're old. But it has greater emphasis when they're older, because of that expectation that they will have a greater need as they get older. And so Paul, as we said, many parents might be shy, to express that need. They may be even some of them, perhaps they don't sleep at night, perhaps some of them they cry. And they feel within themselves great distress, because their children don't do

00:06:33--> 00:07:11

for them what they would wish for the children to do, but they can't find the words to express it or they feel like they might hurt their children by seeing it. So panel like this, looking after your parents when they are older. It's not that Islam restricts looking after your parents to when they're old, but it's not gives even greater emphasis when they are older, to the general emphasis that is given throughout the whole, you know life of the parent. And from this is that the sad situation that we see. And we know the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said letter Tiburon, a synonym and can accomplish your follow the ways of the people before you. We can see now that the

00:07:11--> 00:07:37

tradition among the advocate tab, and among the people in the West, the people of the book and others is to cast away their parents when they're old, that once their parent reaches certain reaches a certain age, they put them into a care home, or into a place where they are away from, you know, whether the child doesn't have to be burdened by the

00:07:38--> 00:08:15

doesn't have to be burdened by their parents needs at all. Let me ask you a question. What would happen if you reverse that? What would happen for the total view of the child? If the parents said, I don't want to be troubled by my child when they're so young, and they're crying all the time? And they need food and whatever? I'm going to put them in an orphanage until they reach 10 years old. What would the child feel as a child? How would you feel if your parents said, I'm going to put them in a boarding school orphanage or something, I'm going to take them away out of my sight until they reach 10 years old, I would say that it would hurt you as a as a child, to know that your parents

00:08:15--> 00:08:58

wanted to be rid of you. Then how is it when the parent which is all age that people don't feel shy to, you know, to just say get my parents away from me, just give them to someone else's care. So panela and yet Allah azza wa jal mentioned the way that the parent looked after the child when they were when they were small. So he is for the greater emphasis of the need of the parent when they reach old age. And all as we just said, in May of Luanda, indical, Kibera, I had to Houma Oklahoma, one of them or both of them. Here. The reason it mentions one of them, or both of them is to clarify that the rights of the parents exist independently as well as collectively. And what that means is,

00:08:58--> 00:09:43

some people might understand because a lot was mentioned earlier, where the dean, the two parents, the mother and the father, that they may understand that these rulings only apply when the mother and the father are both together, or that these rulings are reduced in importance. If the parents divorce or separate, or if one of the parent dies. For example, if the mother dies and only the father is left alive, somebody might say, Well, perhaps the rulings are not so emphatic here Allah azzawajal clarifies and explains to us that it makes no difference whether it is one parent or both parents. I had a woman, Oklahoma, one of them or both of them fell out akula Houma have, do not say

00:09:43--> 00:09:44

to them.

00:09:45--> 00:09:59

Off is the smallest word are the smallest sound that can be made to express displeasure. So for example, it's like a touch

00:10:00--> 00:10:01

You know, when you touch it somewhat

00:10:03--> 00:10:52

at the smallest thing that a person can do to express displeasure. And allies, which I'll mention the smallest thing in order to include all of the things that are more important than that mean Barbie Ola, because they are more deserving. So for example, allies, which I didn't say, Don't swear at them, and allies, which I didn't say don't hate them, and allies, which I didn't say don't abuse them, or revile them, because all of those things are more severe than off. If off is the smallest one of them. Then by prohibiting the word off, you prohibit every single thing that is more severe than it. So that includes even the glance or rolling your eyes at them, or even expressing

00:10:52--> 00:10:55

displeasure, or saying like,

00:10:56--> 00:11:23

or huffing or becoming, you know, any expression all of those are worse than off. So if off is prohibited, and off is the smallest of all of the words that can express displeasure, or that can be considered to be rude. Then everything else is included in Barbie Ola, because it's even more deserving.

00:11:24--> 00:11:29

Well, I tend her humor, and allies which are prohibited here.

00:11:31--> 00:12:18

While I tell her humor, the meaning here of 10 how humor is exaggerated. Below code, it is to rebuke someone or to push someone away to push someone away in the way that you speak to them. And that might be that a parent requests something or ask for something. And then the child speaks to them in a way that he's agile anyways, like, it's like they're reviling them or pushing them away, in the way that they speak to them. And this is you can draw parallel in the statement of Eliza gel maceda fella 10 hot as for the one who comes to ask you either to ask you knowledge or to ask you well, Valentina, don't,

00:12:19--> 00:13:02

don't speak to them in a way or don't push them away through your speech. And here, this will attend how Huma It even includes when they ask you to do something wrong, because there is no contradiction between not a being them in the hierarchy. And between the statement of Eliza jerawat and her because when you disobey them in that which is haram because they asked you to do something which is haram and you have to decline to do it, that you still don't do that which includes this wallet and how to whom it includes this sort of reviling or rebuking or you know, pushing them away in the way that you speak to them.

00:13:03--> 00:13:17

What could lahoma Colin Kereama and hear a person might understand from that what and how to combat that the best thing with regard to the parent is just to be silent. And allies which I'll explain to you that even being silent is not enough.

00:13:18--> 00:14:09

Even being silent is not enough. Someone might say okay, so I'm not supposed to make zedge I'm not supposed to rebuke them. I'm not supposed to push them away or make them feel like I'm driving them away. I'm not supposed to say off. So the best thing to do with your parents is just to be quiet. Let know. That's not what you're required to do. What cool lahoma Colin Karina, you're required to say the most gracious and kind and noble words to them. Silence is not acceptable. Silence is not acceptable. Rather, you have to actively make an effort to see the kindest, the most considerate and the most normal words to them. Even silence is not acceptable. What could lahoma Colin Kereama wa

00:14:09--> 00:14:19

COVID lahoma Jenna heavily Meena Rama and lower the wing of humility to them for mercy.

00:14:21--> 00:14:45

And that is that you show humility in front of them. You don't show any element of pride or superiority or authority, anything in that way towards that rather you lower the wing of humility, you show that show that humility, and that you are

00:14:46--> 00:15:00

under their authority, and that you respect their position and you show mercy to them. And it's the the humility you show to them is not from fear. And that's what

00:15:00--> 00:15:53

Lies which I said, Well, I'll fill the lahoma Jenna have voli mean Rama, Allah said lower than the wing of humility out of mercy, not out of fear and he didn't see him in a huff. He didn't say that be humble and and be respectful. And, sure that kind of humanity before your parents out of fear, out of fear not out of out of mercy. So that should be the way that you deal with your parents, and the way that you lower yourself. And you humble yourself, and you behave with the utmost respect and kindness towards them is because of mercy not because of fear, because of mercy, what called Rob Durham, Wilma kemah, or beone Syrah and from the rights of the parent over the child is that the

00:15:53--> 00:16:23

child makes to ask for the parent. And here this two other is recommended in sort of a slot and say, My Lord have mercy on them. As they rob any day did the tarbiyah they looked after me they did Tobia we spoke about tarbiyah already the rights of the child. Did Toby have me when I was small, the parent is what Eliza gel has made the reason for you to exist on this earth.

00:16:25--> 00:16:39

And that at the minimum that a person can do is to make up for their parents. Because ultimately, they have to recognize that the reason that they exist on this earth

00:16:40--> 00:17:25

after the decree of Allah azza wa jal is that allies which have made their parents the cause for the existence on this earth. And that's why even if a parent doesn't fulfill the title of the child fully, or doesn't do everything that a parent should do for the child, that doesn't absolve the child of the obligation of virtual reality. That doesn't absolve the child of that, because ultimately, the child can't escape the fact that their mother carried them one Allah one hardship upon hardship, they can't escape that. And that brings us to our next our next idea in which allies are just said inshallah, Look, man was seen as insane everywhere, the de homiletical Omar who won

00:17:25--> 00:17:30

and Allah wa hour, if you saw the whole thing, I mean, anishka, Lee, Wiley, Wiley, deca, Ed almasi.

00:17:33--> 00:18:31

And we have commanded mankind with regard to his two parents, I have a son towards his two parents and Bill towards his two parents homiletical mucho y Nan, Allah when his mother carried him in hardship, or weakness, upon weakness, hardship upon hardship, and some of the, the orlimar dimension from the hardships is the hardship of the pregnancy, the hardship of the labor, the hardship of the birth, the hardship of looking after the child when they are small. And then the hardships which come being a parent, and the care the parents have for the child and the concern that they have for them. All of these are reasons why we have to give our parents that utmost kindness in the way that

00:18:31--> 00:19:18

we deal with them. Well, we saw oofy amin, and that child for two years is weaned over a period of two, two years until when they finished two years. They're weaned from the off the milk of their mother and on to the regular food. anish called Lee that you show gratitude to Allah when you led and to your parents. Elian Macias to me as the return I to allies, the return. And here we bought this is to highlight the obligation of showing gratitude to your parents, and thanks to them. And this also brings us to that topic that even if your parent wasn't there for you, in the early part of your life, ultimately, every one of us has a manner to move on. And

00:19:19--> 00:19:59

every one of us their mother carried them with hardship and weakness upon weakness, hardship upon hardship, everyone, every single one of us were there she was there after the birth for us and looked after us and took care of us or whether there are some others who were not. But ultimately, if you can't escape the fact how Allah to mohanan Allah one that his mother carried him in weakness upon weakness, then ultimately, you can't escape. And equally well you already take that you show gratitude to Allah and to your parents. And here again, this way that Eliza joins between the rights of Allah and the rights of the parents. And that's important that you don't neglect the right of

00:19:59--> 00:19:59

Eliza

00:20:00--> 00:20:42

Because ultimately you have to thank Allah before you thank anyone from Allah's creation. But when you thank Allah azza wa jal becomes obligatory upon you to thank your parents and you score really well you validate that you show gratitude to me to a lot, and to your parents. And again, both parents are mentioned here and the ruling applies to one of them and both of them and if there is only one of them alive then it applies to whichever one of them is still alive. And even it continues after the parent passes away and we're going to come to that later on when we look at being good to your parents from the Sunnah of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam and being good

00:20:42--> 00:20:54

to your parents, is a Sunnah from the sunon of the NBA Allah hemocyte wa Salaam and that's why it is said about Isa alayhis salam wa about

00:20:55--> 00:21:08

lidda t while me I need about one sharqiya that he said that I am bottle run purely TT and we said bottle is one of the two

00:21:09--> 00:21:53

subject nouns that refers to albir that I have built towards my mother. And here he mentioned his mother because a Sally said no, of course, didn't have a father. He only had a mother. And so Baron Big Daddy, and I'm good to my mother, I do build towards my mother, we said Bill mentioned all of the types of all of the types of good, and we said it mentions bill Cole will fairly well in fact, by what you say what you do and what you spend, and even an auto cobia the matters of the heart, while bottle run purely deti that I am good towards my mother. And likewise from yahia

00:21:55--> 00:22:19

Ali salam, WA Baron bydd he while Aamir Khan Jabbar on us here also in Surah Murray and this time I am number 14, that regarding yahia that he was bottle run bydd he had build towards his two parents, and he was not Jabbar on RCA. He was not tyrannical, arrogant and he was not sinful.

00:22:21--> 00:22:43

As for the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and this is where we're going to get into some of the details as it relates to better Wiley Dean. So let's start now just let's begin the topic of Biddle Wally Dean in the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, from the Hadeeth of Abdullah live in Mr. Wood. That he said, radi Allahu

00:22:44--> 00:22:52

Allahu Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam a EULA Amelie Habu Illa la heeta Anna

00:22:54--> 00:22:59

color a Sala to allow to call a call to from a

00:23:00--> 00:23:02

call bill rule why reading

00:23:04--> 00:23:13

call call to some a call. LG heard Wi Fi Serbia de la Motta con la

00:23:14--> 00:23:59

even Mr. Road, he asked and this hadith in Bukhari and Muslim. He said I asked the prophet SAW love it was send them which of the deeds is most beloved to Allah the Exalted look at the house, the keenness of the Sahaba to know of wobble, hail, the different means of good look at how they looked and explored every opportunity for good. He said which of the deeds is the most beloved to Allah the Exalted the prophets Isom said us Allah to Allah waqia it is Salah on time praying Salah on time it's also mentioning other Heidi Salatu away walked into the solar at the earliest time

00:24:00--> 00:24:12

he'd been Miss road he said I said then which one after that. So Paula looked at the keenness. He said okay, prayer on time, then what is the next best thing that a person can do? The Prophet size said beware

00:24:13--> 00:24:22

that you have built towards your parents, excellent treatment, and goodness kindness towards your parents.

00:24:23--> 00:24:34

And this is the the showerhead here that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam after the sala de de de he gave the most importance to was better quality.

00:24:35--> 00:25:00

And then after that, even Mr. Rude he said for me, then Which one? Then the Prophet sighs me he said he had to be superior Subhan Allah, Jihad Philippi de la with its importance in Islam and the and the huge rewards that are given, for example, that Heidi to talk about 100 levels that are prepared only for the moment.

00:25:00--> 00:25:23

Ad visibility, and yet beautiful Wiley Dean is better, and was better in the sight of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam than a Jihad physiopedia with all of its 100 levels in paradise that are prepared for them with JD and so on and so forth. And still the Prophet size and ranked barrel while he deign to be more important than a geography superior.

00:25:24--> 00:25:31

So this is a matter really, that you have to place it in its proper importance. And what we see is from a lot of people

00:25:32--> 00:25:53

that we see is that people might become busy with Alma, ball and father. And this is from the tricks of the shape one, that a person gets busy with things that are less important instead of balls, which are more important. So a person for example, they say, I'm busy, I'm giving, for example, I'm giving down

00:25:54--> 00:26:43

or a person says, I'm busy trying to help someone who is in need a brother who's in need, or I'm busy studying, for example, and Subhana, Allah, they might neglect beruwala Deen, which is more important and better in the sight of allies origin. So Paula, sometimes you don't let the ship on confusing. Now we're not taking away from those other actions. We've spoken extensively about the value of seeking knowledge and the importance of it, and the importance of the, the, for example, our own helping the needy, and so on, puts upon Allah for a person to close the door of burial while eating, and say that this is not important to me, does a rank high up, get it ranked number two,

00:26:43--> 00:27:03

after the Salah in the list of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. So you really need to Don't let the shape on trick you. And that doesn't mean we neglect the other deeds, everything has a balance. The Prophet size mentioned that she has the sebelah at the end of the Hadith and the Prophet size, did this and the Sahaba did it while the Allahu anhu.

00:27:04--> 00:27:26

But ultimately, there has to be a an appreciation of the value of your reality. And that you don't take it that the or you don't allow the shaytaan to confuse you and Mr. says, Oh, you know, yeah, my mom, you know, she asked me for something, I'll go do it later because right now I've got something really important like I'm reading Quran lauhala

00:27:27--> 00:27:31

do what you do for your parents, is more important.

00:27:32--> 00:28:11

As long as it doesn't conflict with the right of Allah. As long as it doesn't conflict with the right of Allah. So for example, the Father, the father praised the right of a LaserJet command from Allah subhanaw taala. And you can't leave the father to prayer for your parents. You can't leave it for your parents have a need or something they require. But when it comes to the no orphan, that's a different a different matter. So here we're not talking about ignoring the rights of Allah or minimizing the rights of Allah but everything has to be in its proper place in time. But just the importance of building away the deen and its value in the religion of Islam. We have a Heidi from

00:28:11--> 00:28:34

ebihara radi Allahu anhu. I know Kyle Kala Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, les agency? Well, I don't walidah illa and yejide human Lu can fish terrier who for your attacker, today is narrated by Al Imam, an Imam Muslim in His sight, that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he said

00:28:36--> 00:28:50

that no child can ever pay back their father unless they find their father enslaved. And they purchase him out of slavery and they free him from slavery. So handle

00:28:51--> 00:29:43

this, Heidi just shows you the the great importance of or the great rule of the Father and later we're going to hear how the mother's role is even more important than that. That person can't pay the father back for what he did, unless he finds the father in a state of slavery, and he purchases him and he sets him free. A one point of benefit I want to mention regarding this is that some of the people have knowledge they mentioned this Hadeeth in the importance of conveying Islam to your parents. And the reason they did that or the or the angle that they came from is that if freeing your father from slavery is the greatest thing that that child can do to pay back their father is to

00:29:43--> 00:29:59

free him from slavery. Then slavery to the shape time and slavery to the worship of other than Allah is even more deserving of him freeing his father from by the permission of Allah and it is min Bobby Ola. It's more deserving and more important. So

00:30:00--> 00:30:42

Example a person finds their father to be a non Muslim and then conveys the message of Islam to them and they become Muslim, then this is member Viola it's more deserving than finding him in slaved and freeing him. And it's a great a deed in the sight of Allah then freeing the father from slavery, to free him from the slavery of worshipping the champagne and the slavery of the neffs and the slavery of turning away from Allah subhanaw taala then this is something that a child should be very keen to do, should be very keen to if they have parents that are not Muslim, that they convey the message of Islam to them perhaps they might have enough sleep or have a part of what is mentioned in this

00:30:42--> 00:31:01

hadith so that's all we have time for in this episode, but we're going to continue inshallah, to Allah with Bill O'Reilly then from the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and we're going to talk about that in sha Allah to Allah in the next episode, and allies of generals best was Salatu was Salam ala nabina Muhammad Wiener early wasapi ajmeri

00:31:02--> 00:31:11

salaam alaikum. If you're enjoying these videos, and you'd like to keep up to date with all of the courses we're going to be running, make sure you head over to a m au adho.com