A Decade in London 10 Reflection Points
Channel: Adnan Rajeh
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In the story in the Quran, where Musa he said, I'm leaves Egypt, and he goes to Meridian and we don't know for sure if the if he actually married the daughter of shrine, we know that he married the daughter of a wise person of Midian, someone who was of high status in the eyes of Allah subhanho wa taala. But some their agency is showing some narration says doesn't isn't it doesn't matter that much. But the story is that Mussolini's theorem was asked as well to stay for eight years or 10. And he ended up staying for 10 years. And that's really why I'm telling you this, this verse, it's 10 years. The concept of a decade is what most artists time spent there and then went
back and that's on his way back that he was getting revelation. When the Sahaba talk about the prasada use talked to us at arm's length they they don't really go
Without into the details that we do, they say he spent 10 years in Mecca 10 years in Medina, that was it. And that's what the Allahu Anhu said, he said, That's what I need, I will probably also say, says that it basically was 10 and 10. The concept of a decade is meaningful. And the reason that I'm bringing this up, even though the series that I'm going to be sharing with you over the summer is going to be contemporary issues. This week, specifically, I'm taking a break and to talk about something a little bit different. I landed in London, almost 10 years to the day, 10 years ago to the day like this was almost exactly today, maybe two days from today, in the middle of July. It was
Ramadan at the time, and I continued to talk with my parents in their basement and over at Chapman court. And I'm not here to talk to you about the what happened before that No, I'm just I'm here today to share with you 10 points that I reflected upon for these 10 years that I've been here, not talking about the past, but to talk about the current time the present in the future, inshallah. And living in a place for a decade, you and you speak to a lot of people, you witness a lot of events, you go through a lot of experiences, ups and downs, and different occurrences and you just pick up some here pick up some experience and some wisdom. And I spent the last maybe three or four months
reflecting on these 10 years of my life. And I came up with 10 points that I want to share with you, what I what I think may be helpful. This is not on the institutional level, like I'm not here to share my experiences with the organization. So don't worry.
I'm not here to talk about institutions and mistakes. And no, I'm just this is just 10 points up on an individual level that I want to share with you that I think may or may be helpful, especially for my younger brothers and sisters. Coming here was very difficult for me. It's like someone when I landed, someone pressed the reset button on my life just reset and came here and I had nothing of what I my life was a shell of what it was before on so many levels. Like I'd lost almost everything that I had built. And you can easily say, well, you're only 28. Right? What could you have built by then? No, I had actually put in a lot of time and effort and I was in a split position where I was
happy that I was I had fulfillments and then he came here and there was a someone push push the reset button, I had to go back and had to figure everything out all over again. And over these 10 years doing that. I learned a lot and I think it's maybe worthy of just sharing with you some of the points that I learned. So I'm gonna go through 10 points quickly for you. And yeah, you take take from them what you will, it's a little bit of an unorthodox jump. I hope I'll give you that much but I feel like there may be some benefit in number one, stay with Allah. Stay with Allah subhanahu wa Tada. For better or for worse, whether it's working out for you or not, whether you're on the top of
the hill, or you're in the gutter state with Allah subhanaw taala at all times, you'll never you'll never be lonely. If you're with Allah, the intimacy of the relationship that the creation has with their Creator is unparalleled. The closest thing that we have to it is a child with their parent or a parent with their child. And that's really in my understanding why we have children is that ALLAH SubhanA gives us an example of an intimate relationship to understand that what I have with you is much more important. So stay with Allah subhanho wa Taala regardless of what's happening to you in your life, whether you're happy or miserable, whether things are working out for you the way you
planned out, or whether they are not, it should not make a difference with you. You stay with Allah He never left you to begin with, he never left you. It's only us that leaves him Subhanallah what's out and even when we leave him, he continues to wait for us to come back. So stay with Allah, there's nowhere else to go, where are you going to go? You can't run away from him. subhanho wa Taala so run back to him. So I as you go through your life at your worst moments and your best moments, regardless of what's happening. Stay with ALLAH, ALLAH SubhanA wa Tada, that's whom you have, you have no one else and life is designed to beat that into you to make you understand that
there is no one else. Everything is a variable, everything comes and goes. Everything that you thought would never change will change. Everyone that you thought would be with you will leave you what you will have at the end is Allah but the thing is, you always had Allah subhanaw taala from the day you were born before you were born. And then when you were when you started your life when he went through and at the last moment, he's the only one there subhanaw taala all times. So stay with Allah. And if you do that you can never go wrong, you'll never go wrong by being with Allah subhanaw taala even if you're sinning, if you're making mistakes, if you end up drifting and getting
distracted and going far away, come back to him. There's nowhere else to go stay with Allah.
all that is expected of you in life. All that is expected of you within this life is to do the best you can with the hand that you're carrying at any given moment. Hands change all the time. You're dealing with a different set of cards every minute. Every couple of minutes. You have
something different to deal with reality is always changing. All that is expected of you is to do the best you can with what you've got at that moment. Don't waste time wondering, had you done something differently? Would you have a different hand right now? Because the answer is probably yes. But there's no point in doing that. There is no point wondering, had I done this before? earlier? Would I be in this situation that doesn't help you very much. Aside from learning a lesson, it doesn't help you to dwell on that too much. Just look at your reality. At this moment, what do I have right now? What am I staring at right now, do the best you can, but you've got just do it. And
if you keep on, that is the secret to life. There's nothing more to life than that, well, lucky, there's nothing beyond that sentence to this life that we are living. Because every moment you have a reality, most of us you can do with this reality, do that. And then maybe a few moments later, you're here with another reality, a huge change in that reality. Don't waste time feeling bad, or feeling sad, or feeling overly joyous. And forgetting being distracted by it. Just make sure you do the best you can with what you're given. Because that's going to continuously change in your life. I work in oncology, I see people, I sit with someone who has just dealt a very upsetting hand. And it
happened really quickly. It wasn't a slow process. One day morning, they were they had ahead and then by the evening, they were given a completely, completely different set of cards.
All you can do is just the best what's the best you can do do that. This is your reality. You can't dwell on what could have been and why this and forget about that, that's a waste of your time, do what you can do right now. And if you do that, in life, you're guaranteed to to achieve success to a certain degree, and you're guaranteed to be able to keep moving on and you won't get caught up in the past and you won't lose your focus. If you can just do the best you can with the hand that you're given, you're not expected to do anything more by Allah subhanaw taala. Number three.
In order for you to be fulfilled in life, ensure you have two things with you ensure that you have purpose, and that you have companionship, ensure that you have purpose and companionship and you will be fulfilled. And if you lose the one of them, then you will feel anxious and depressed and upset and life will end you may have I may be the richest person financially in the world. And something will be missing if you miss one of those two things. Why? Because guess what ALLAH SubhanA gave them he gave him purpose and he gave him a companion. That's how he started his life here had them come here you are Khalifa. That's your purpose. And here's your spouse.
Here's, here's, that's all he needed. It can sit down. And that's all we need. We need good companionship and purpose. Companionship I'll talk about in another one. But purpose is very important. You have to have purpose. Why are you alive? What is the end? Product of your existence? What do you have to show for at the end of this? Like you're gonna live this, like, what are you going to do with it? What's the point of it? What's the point of your existence, what the point of mind if you don't know exactly why you're alive, what you're going to do with your life and what you're going to actually achieve with it, then yes, there's something something might be
fundamentally missing on the inside, and you're going to feel it, oh, you're gonna feel it is going to, it's going to eat away at you like a fungus, it will ruin you. Because you're lacking, you're lacking that basic understanding of why you're here. fulfillment comes from knowing your purpose. And Allah subhanaw taala gave it to you. He explained to you exactly who you were, I mean, what you're here for and where you're going. So make sure that's crystal clear to you, and make sure you have good companionship.
if you know that you're doing the right thing, and you have the tools, the right tools for it. Then be relentless, be relentless, have more grit than has ever than anyone has ever had in the history of the human race. If you know that you're doing the right thing. And you have the proper tools to achieve it. Be relentless. Every time you fail, is to building brick that will you will use to build your empire. Every time you fall. It will you'll take a lesson from that so you don't do it again. And you continue moving forward. be relentless dolly Hill Salatu was Salam out of all of his attributes, which are many and all of the beautiful aspects of his character. This is the one that I
continue to stand in the shrine of in my life. He was relentless. You could not stop him. And people could not understand why like Michigan could not understand why how is it that you don't give up? We will not give up we will not stay down. He would never stay down. That's the fighter that never loses the fighter that every time you knock him down, he gets up again. He'll just stay down. Yeah, just stay down and winning. No get up again. You don't lose until you stay down. That's what losing is staying down.
Even if you get up or you're, you're beaten to a pulp again and you fall down again, get up again, be relentless. If you know that you're doing the right thing, just make sure you know you're doing the right thing. Just make sure that you have around you, those who can consult with, don't be ashamed of asking for help. And asking for advice. Am I doing the right thing? Do I have the tools to do the right thing here? And if you if the answer is yes, then be relentless. You will make it eventually, or you will achieve and agree of success that you'll be happy with at the end, even if you don't achieve what you actually want. But you'll have enough to show for the time that you spent
be relentless. If you know that you're doing the right thing, you have the tools to achieve it.
Number five, your time is your currency. That's your capital. Everything else is an illusion. It's a shadow on the wall. It's meaningless. Everything else is has no value to it. Everything else comes into what you have. Your currency is your time. You are just tired. That's what you are. You're just time you're here for a certain amount of it. And then that's it. That's what you will never be able to get back. Once it's gone, it's gone. Once this hour is over, there's no way for us to go back and get that again. You will lose money and make money you will lose friends and make friends you will live in places and then you'll live in other places and then you'll owe that will continue to go and
come in life but time the moment it's gone, it'll never come back. That's your currency. manage it well. Organize it, utilize it appropriately. Don't spend it where it doesn't deserve to be spent. Spend it where you deserve to be spent with those whom deserve to be spent with them. Doing something that is meaningful to you because that's all you've got. Be picky with your time. Use it wisely use it appropriately manage it know how you do it. The biggest problem I find with this younger generation they have no sense of time management, no sense of time management they can't do anything they get they carry one watermelon get my second one they fall straight on their face to
get they have no sense of time managing you have to manage your time. That's what that's what you are you hustling the basketball in
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What you should do is either have a bow do and yet have a cool so you're just time every moment that leaves a piece of you leaves with it. And as pieces of you leave with the time very soon nothing will be left of you. You're just time. Learn to manage your time well. And if you don't know how, then seek help so you can manage your time so that you're using it for what you want to do.
And not for what others want you to do. Are you a hottie Leone or by the multi year Arkadin Minister Manny Isla Mukti if you had better do what Allah moolah do now well it will be futile on to them. It's
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Al Hamdulillah he had the hosel Allahu wa salam O Allah, Allah may Allah be about a while early, he was so happy humanitaire but I'm not sure who will.
Number six, learn to manage your relationships. The most difficult thing you will manage your life or your relationships, learn
to bring people closer and just tend to take steps away from people as you go along based on how they help you achieve your goals. Don't hate anybody and there's no need to cut people off unless there's a there is clear abuse in any given relationship. Just learn to draw yourself closer to those who are helping you be closer to Allah subhanho wa Taala and let it take a step back from those who are wasting your time. Do it politely and appropriately and kindly. But make sure that you learn to manage your relationships because you that's really the most important thing that you've got. The secret of being happy in this life is having good functional relationships. If you run into
someone in this world that is like minded if you have a friend that is like minded that believes in that what you believe in that works towards that which you work towards. That is the that is a gem. Never give up that person ever.
Ever. Never give that person up Allah he stay in, give up a job opportunity. If you have people around you who are like minded, who support you in what you are doing will stand by you allow you to be better, who bring you closer to Allah put up with anything because that is so rare and so valuable and so important. Make sure you surround yourself with people like that. Be picky when it comes to friends. Be picky. Okay. Don't be picky about what car you got. And what house you buy. Forget about all that. Forget about it. It means nothing will lie here it means nothing. No one cares. It's just luxuries and leashes that don't do anything for you, but people oh my god people
That is what will make you happy on the Day of Judgment, oh, it will make you extremely, extremely regretful.
Surround yourself with those who are like minded and take steps away from those who aren't and learn to manage your relationships. Number seven
people listen to this. People don't think about you or care about you a fraction of what you think they do.
People do not spend time thinking about you, or caring about what you do a fraction of what you think they do. So don't be too obsessed about people's opinions. Because everyone's very self centered, no one really cares, people only think about you for the amount of time that is going to serve them. So why waste too much time about it, why spend time thinking about what they it doesn't matter. social constructs exists for a reason they're important. Society has certain opinions that allow us to stay within certain boundaries, so that we can serve that community so that we can be good people, that's fine. social constructs are very important. I'm not saying to get rid of them.
But don't waste your time worrying about what someone else said, what someone else thinks of what you who you are, don't let that affect your self value. Don't let that affect your self image, don't derive your value, what people think about you do what you believe is correct, consults, and ask for help and make sure you have clarity on what you're doing. Don't go through life on your own.
Don't worry about what people think because they don't, because they don't, you'll find out at the end that no one really cared that if you just did what you thought was the right thing at the time, no one would really have cared, they would have talked about it for a week, and then they get bored, and then they move on. And it doesn't matter anymore. And you would have at least done what you believed in you were anywhere at least true to yourself, be true to yourself. And don't worry about what people think because they don't really think, think about yourself, how much time do you spend thinking about other people? How much time do you spend thinking about someone else and what they
did, what a moment, a second, maybe a couple of seconds in this in a given setting. That's it. We don't have time, we're focused on our lives, and people are too. So don't let that worry you too much. Number eight, accept death. The earlier the better. The earlier you accept the fact that you're going to die. The earlier you accept your mortality, the better that is for you. This is the fact of life. We're all heading towards a moment where we're going to sit there knowing that there's no time left for us. We're all had is that interesting. We're all heading towards that no one person exempted from it. Not one, not one person here you can say no, I'm hoping we're all heading to that
moment. We're all going to a to a second to a time where we were There's no more time left. Where that's it. You're going to take your life's breath we're all heading towards except it make peace with it. It's not depressing is not saddening. Well, I it's the opposite. Well, no, he's empowering. Because when you accept that you actually accept you don't lie to yourself. And like No, no, I'm gonna be here forever. And distract yourself from that, from that fact. And just keep on going through. Like when you accept it, and you embrace the fact that you die, life becomes so much more valuable. The sun, the sun will light shines brighter, the sky is bluer, and every moment is a
blessing. It's a beautiful every person you meet to the opportunity to get to know someone that you don't know, to benefit from something that you don't have access to. Everything about life becomes much more meaningful, much more profound, when you accept the fact that you're going to die. And you stop wasting time worrying about things that don't matter. Because you know, that very soon this story will end it has ended for everyone who's ever lived. And it's going to end for everyone who ever will live. It's going to end for you and me. And one day you and I will be nothing more than a memory, not even a memory. Not even a memory. How many of you remember their great grandfather's?
How many times a day do you think of these people? That was a person, he's the reason you're here. Now he would have loved you a lot. You don't think of him? He's not your fault. I'm not saying you should just leave. We all die. We're going to accept it. Accept it. Teach your children to accept it. Don't run away from a reality that there's no way around. Maybe maybe you could you can distract yourself from realities that don't necessarily have to happen to you. I'm okay with that. Oh, okay. I don't think it's great, but I'm okay with it. But the reality that there's no way to get around, accept it, embrace it, it'll make your life better. Number nine.
If you're confused, or lost, say okay.
If you're frustrated and uncertain of the future, if you're scared, if you're at a moment where you feel despair, you feel that nothing is going to work for you. And everything is going wrong. It's okay. So okay. It happens to everybody. We all we're all struggling. We're all just trying to make things work out for ourselves. And we're all lost, and we're all frustrated. And that is the universal factor reality about all of us. No one has it all figured out. It's definitely not the person speaking to you. No one does. We're always just as lost just as scared and just as confused as the next person and that's okay. It's a part of being alive. A part of being alive is having that
sadness is having that fear is having that ambiguity is being confused and uncertain and it's okay. It's okay. You're not alone. Don't struggle like that alone. Don't feel like there's no one else there out there like that everyone is like that it's okay to seek out those who understand you as you go through that and help you on your way. And if you make mistakes, and you're and you're not figuring it out, that's alright too, because that's a part of being alive. And there's no way around that piece. There's no way around being that way. Because that's how we are. That's what we look up to people. That's why we look we take on role models, people who are who did it and did it well.
Even when they were doing it. They were scared to you don't think sallallahu alayhi salatu salam was scared, you know that he was carrying around on the mountain the first time he really came to him, you don't think he was he was afraid before but then when he stood there making dry until the Sahaba felt bad for him. You don't think he was scared when he couldn't sleep during the time of Eliza? You don't think he was of course he was he was human. So Katie, be confused, okay to be uncertain. It's okay. It's okay. You're not, you're not expected to be anything else. We can't hold ourselves to standards that are impossible. We can't make up stuff. At the same time. We can't be weak, we can
allow ourselves to be weak. It's not okay to accept weakness, but it's okay to understand the reality of who we are. We are we are fragile beings. And we are going to be uncertain. And we're going to be confused and lost. And that's all right, embrace it, accept it, it's a part of being around, and then be decisive, and make decisions and move forward.
And that's all this is about.
The most valuable commodity that you possess is love. To us the most valuable products you have is what you should be very wise and how you give and who you give. And when you give. Love, love. It's not your wealth. I know. I know we become people who just want your money. And we make it seem that's the most important thing you can give. But it's really not. The most valuable thing you can give is your love. Oh, there's nothing that currency is so nice. So it's just so different.
Be careful who you offer it to be careful who you hold it back from. Be careful who you hold your love from.
Love with your wholeheartedly. Those who deserve your love your parents and your siblings and your spouse and your children. And your close friends love them. Love them before you lose the opportunity to love them. Love them before you wish you did love them before, there's no way that you could ever show it appropriately the way you knew you should have. Right now you have this very valuable part of you who you are, which is that love that you have on the inside. That that emotion that passion that that is something that is it's the secret of all of this is what sets us apart from so many other creators that love we have it, use it, use it wisely. If you offer it to those
who don't want it and don't care for it, you burn yourself, if you hold it back from those who you should be giving it to your hurt yourself to and then it fizzles away on the inside, where it could be much more love. Make sure that you understand what it means don't miss don't confuse love with lust, and emotional entertainment and, and chemistry and all that other garbage. That means nothing. I'm talking about love, actual love, where you care for someone deeply, where it's not that you just care about their life now and dunya you care about them as well. You're worried that you they're not going to be there, you're worried about their choices about where they're going with their lives
that peace, that's love. That's what love is when you think of someone you will hope that they do well, and you try to figure out how can I help them do well. And if I'm not helping them, it bothers you. That's love, where you wish you hope for someone to have more than what you have to be happy. That's the event that is what you've got that is so don't let Shavon take that away because he will he hates it. He hates it. So he takes it away. He takes it away. It makes you jealous. It makes you hateful, it makes you arrogant, because that's all of those are just opposites of love. That's what they are. They always are what is the opposite of arrogance and vanity and jealousy. And each one
has a word no. They're opposite of love. That's what their opposite of they take away your ability to love someone. It's the love of those around you the way you should and the way you can. That's what he wants out of you. You slip through some of this big sobbing heart, this big sabe heart that was filled with love and he loves people around him. And he showed them that love through his compassion through His mercy and through his perseverance and he made sure he paid with his ego behind to to get someone to know Allah subhanho wa Taala that's the love. That's the love that we need. That's all we can offer.
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That is what I have to share with you for today.
I have a habit of making plans for 10 years,
coming at a point and saying 10 years from now what I was going to do when I landed
on the way here, I started to think okay, what will I be into 2020 23?
Let me tell you that now not one of the things I planned happened. Not one of them will law he none. And it's okay. It's okay. It's totally okay. It's totally fine. plan things out, worked hard towards your goals, and then accept that you're gonna be dealt a very different hand at the end. And so okay, that's totally fine. You're not a failure. If that happens, it's fine. But you'll learn a lot. I asked you if you're young, your 20s do that.
Put a plan for 2030 For example, just just do it. Write down on a paper what do you hope to be? Who are you going to be? What skills will you have? How much knowledge? What will you achieve by then? And then work hard and then meet me in 710 years and tell me if you got any of them done? You probably won't but it's okay. It's how life works.
And all we're expected to do is just the best we can I hope that was a benefit to you while I'm on the line
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