The Muslim Family #44 – Being Good to Your Parents

share this pageShare Page
Tim Humble

Channel: Tim Humble

Series:

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:00--> 00:00:04

What are kulu filco Ronnie magia E

00:00:05--> 00:00:16

to carry Moosa Lu. Wha colocar La La, la de la Lu. Well, Mustafa al de

00:00:17--> 00:00:48

leeuw Alhamdulillah lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala Murthy, rock metal alameen Nabina Muhammad wa ala early or sappy edge mine Salaam wa Alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu. Welcome to a brand new segment in this course on the Muslim family. This section that we're going to be talking about is all about the parents. And there is no doubt no doubt whatsoever that this is the greatest of all of the rights after the right of the last panel.

00:00:49--> 00:01:38

There is no rate greater than the right of the parents after the rate of a loss of Hannah data. And that would have suggested that perhaps we should have put this at the beginning of the course. But we structured the course chronologically, going through the beginning of creation, Adam and her work, marriage, and then children, and then the child is brought up to treat the parents well. And so in terms of chronology, that's why we reached validation towards the end of the course. And what we're going to talk about today is this whole concept of beautiful, and validating hear this word a lot. And we also hear frequently, the word sad would be Wiley Dini, Santa. So let's start by looking

00:01:38--> 00:02:03

at the linguistic meaning and the Islamic understanding of bitter Valley, Dame and Alison, la humor, being good to them, and having bill towards them. So let's have a little look at what this means in terms of the language and in terms of the Islamic definition. So, the word bill linguistically,

00:02:04--> 00:02:16

the the verb itself, it can be used for saleha can be used for output can be used for sadaqa. So it can refer to a set of sila,

00:02:19--> 00:02:30

l hire a sailor, and so on. So, it can be used to refer to truthfulness, or being true towards someone.

00:02:31--> 00:02:43

And it can be used for obedience, the word LBL meaning of power, and it can be used for anywhere else, all of the types of good

00:02:44--> 00:03:26

and goodness towards someone and further grace towards someone. And it can be used for a Silla keeping ties with someone. These are some of the linguistic meanings around the word Albert. And the person who who has the attribute, they are called Baron, or they are called bar Ron, either bottle or bow and the plural being abrar or Bharara and the angels are called Bharara key ke Rahman. Bharara. So the angels are described with this characteristic of elbow

00:03:28--> 00:04:03

here referring to their obedience, and referring to the the good that they only do good. So they described with this term alborada because of their partner, their obedience to Allah, their hair and the good that they do. So this is a general word, and it's one of the most comprehensive words that you can read. You can see even in terms of its usage in the Quran. It's a very comprehensive word that covers all kinds of good and that's why

00:04:04--> 00:04:06

our Ragab allows for Hani

00:04:07--> 00:04:59

Rahim Allah to Allah. He said that bill is at tawas Sir Philip hi Ed. Well, he said it is to go to be expansive to be vast in goodness and obedience. He said it is a tosser to really you know, go to a large extent in a higher end goodness and in a in a obedience and that's why I'm here now we have Malta Allah He said we're better all while it he said that bill as it relates to the wallet as it relates to the parent is at tower surah fil a sandwich Sani LA. It is to really go to the utmost extent in a son towards

00:05:00--> 00:06:03

Parents, what's ahead, remain happy and to really seek out everything that they love, what our key mchattie and to keep yourself away from everything that they would dislike what refco be, and to be soft and gentle with them while they do who are coke. And the opposite of it is a coke. So we see how vast this word is how vast this concept of barrel Wiley Dean is that the word bill, it indicates at worst shortfill xand. even lower 10 linguistically at towards Phil Hale activists surfing lesson being very vast and really going to the utmost extent in good. In San, we're going to come to that word in a moment in a potter in obedience in a higher in goodness. And he gave examples of that. He

00:06:03--> 00:06:48

said that you are seeking out everything that person loves everything that parent loves, you're looking for and seeking it and trying to achieve it across every spectrum. This is something worse, it's very expensive. So in every single area of their lives and your life, you're seeking to do what they love. And you're keeping yourself away and being careful to protect yourself from anything they would dislike. Not talking about something necessarily has to be hard on anything they would dislike being soft to them. And being kind to them in speech in mannerisms in the way even in the way that you disobey them.

00:06:49--> 00:07:43

It is obligatory for the Muslim to have a riff, with the wallet with the parent even in the way that you disobey them even when you have to. obligatory it is obligatory upon you and you have to disobey them in Islam, you do so without with Annalisa and with goodness and kindness and gentleness. And he also told us now we that the opposite of a bill is a coupe is to be bad to your parents. And this is among the worst of the major sins that we're going to hear some of the evidences for this. So this the word Alberto, as we heard from these definitions is is one Jameer it is a comprehensive word. And it covers LKL animal welfare law. Well, the Mad Hatter mafia. It covers how you speak, how you

00:07:43--> 00:08:40

behave, it covers how you spend your money and spending upon them. And it even covers what is in the heart, how you feel towards them, and the love that you have for them the care you have for them and the priorities that you have for them the way that you they come first in your heart, this even this comes under the word Alberta. So it is a very comprehensive concept. And Alma de Rahim, Allah Allah He said, Alberto and select one winner off. He said that bill is of two types generally the word not necessarily related to butter YTD he said Scylla and this refers to wealth, and matter, Wolf, which refers to alcohol. Well, Alan, so we're talking about things you say, things you do, and even the

00:08:40--> 00:08:51

spending of welfare In fact, and we're also talking about a little more Oh cobia the matters of the heart. All of this comes within the topic of LBL

00:08:52--> 00:09:59

as for LS and then a roundtable as for her near him, Allahu taala he said, Allah herson, a Bella and Cooley men hygiene Madhu being fee. He said that the word the heart and the scene in the noon here refer to every thing every way which is desirable, every desirable thing or every desirable way of doing something. It can be referred to with this word and herson or I said, well, so new Palo Alto chain, he said that there are two ref or two meanings broad meanings for the word exam. I had oma in an an LL acquiree. was sunny in San Juan fearly. He was alika either alima Amen, hacer una Amina mln hacer una He said, If sun can be referred to two things one is to give

00:10:00--> 00:10:37

give more to someone give extra to someone or to, to bless, you know, to bless someone in in and to give someone more than what they more than what they would expect or more than what they would that then would be like, what they deserve what would be like a one for one. So this is where you say about to go beyond and to go further than the expectations. So this is one of the meanings of a sign towards someone that to go beyond and to exceed the expectations and to give them more than they give you.

00:10:38--> 00:11:12

And the second is to have a son IE to perfect an action. When someone learns of some knowledge which is good and does an action which is good, we say to them, center center, you did you did something good. So to perform an action which is complete and good, and to give someone more than what they would expect. These are two of the meanings or two of the primary meanings behind the word behind the word sad.

00:11:13--> 00:11:45

And our last for honey. He said Rahim Allah to Allah regarding the statement of Eliza gel in Allah hi yet model bill ideally will indeed Allah commands an added which is justice. He said well hey Mahalo to Island Phillip sinovo collided with Alec and then Idaho and New York Lima La Jolla Humala who well isn't a New York to act thora mimma la wire who Akala mimma la who

00:11:47--> 00:12:37

he said that is because a ladder justice is a person taking what or giving what they have to give and taking what they have what what is theirs to take. But if someone is to give more than what they have to give, and to take less than what they have to take, and we're going to see both meanings of Exxon, as it relates to a son in Ottawa. Today, we're going to see this concept even more, especially when it comes to talk about barrel Wiley Dean among the sell of Saudi Aramco law to Allah, you see them going to an extent of betrayal validating that a person so panela can't, it's hard to even imagine. It's hard to even imagine. And you also see across all of the the stories and

00:12:37--> 00:12:55

the examples that we're going to bring in shallow to either the, the striving for excellence, and perfecting that particular ibadah, that isn't a burden towards Allah subhanaw taala in the heart at the highest standard. So both of these are meanings of the word.

00:12:56--> 00:13:24

And also, while we're talking about meanings, it's also important to talk about the word and wallet. And that's because from among the people of knowledge of those who say that a lid, it doesn't just limit itself to your parents. Rather, it includes your parents, and all of the ascendance above them. So your grandparents, and your great grandparents, because all of them linguistically, come under the

00:13:26--> 00:14:12

under the title and wallet, or given the name and wallet, that is the father and the grandfather. So likewise, we want to make people understand that even though no doubt, the parent, the mother and the father, have that special place in Islam, that there is also bitter and wily Dean that has to be done towards the grandparents, and the great grandparents as well if they are still alive, that that that isn't excluded from the concept of better or validate because the wallet is the father or the parent, we're in Allah and all of those who go upwards, all of them will go upwards and inshallah to Allah later on. We're going to come to talk about the relatives. And that's another segment the

00:14:12--> 00:14:23

issue of all our ham, the people who are related to you, your relatives, talk about that in sha Allah who to Allah a bit later on in the in the course in sha Allah.

00:14:24--> 00:14:28

So let's come on to talk about betrayal wily Dane in the

00:14:29--> 00:14:59

bitter validate. In the Quran. Allah azza wa jal, he said why por la hawala to Sri coupie he she will build while retaining Santa will be the quarterback while he aterna while Misaki while Jerry will Kuru power wheelchair in general, he was sahibi bill Jambi weapon is severe you Mr. malakut. A medical isn't sort of nice that a number 36 allies which I said worship Allah and do not make any partner with him and be good to your parents. So Paula, first of all,

00:15:00--> 00:15:42

Allah azza wa jal begins the eye with his hack his right where I put Allah. This is the right of Allah azza wa jal over his servants, like the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to my wife, I said the Maha cola he is a bad mama How could a birdie Allah Allah Do you know the route the right of Allah is over his servants and the right of the seven so but Allah Carla hall to la hora Soto Adam he said Allah His Messenger know best and the Prophet size and said how light Allah Larry bed? And yeah, boo hoo what actually could be the right of Allah over his servants is they worship Him and they don't make any partner with him. This is the greatest of all the hook. And this is the

00:15:42--> 00:16:29

religion of Islam and it is an early what was called the trustworthy handhold that will never break and it is the meaning of Latina heilala why Buddha Allah how electricity could be Isha worship Allah and don't make any partner with him. But look at how Allah azza wa jal joined between his right and the right of the parents to show you that there is no right there are no show cook, there is no right or no rights on the face of this earth or in this religion of Islam greater than the rate of the parents after the rate of Allied surgery. And this also benefits us that when there is a contradiction between the rights of Allah and the rights of the parent, the rights of Allah come

00:16:29--> 00:16:54

first. The rights of a lot come before everything and everyone else. But after the right of allies origin, there is no greater right than the right of the parent. Why Billy Wiley Dini, a signer and to your parents to good. Now hear the word Wally Dean, the two parents, it covers the father and the mother. And it covers the two of them

00:16:56--> 00:17:38

together, and we're going to hear in other ayat about the fact that the right of the parents is not only when they are together, even when they are separate, the right each one of them still has their right. But here it doesn't limit the wily deign to invalidate a Muslim in the two Muslim parents. It is general and that's why we're going to hear also later on that there is no specific ruling about limiting this to the Muslim. However, the Muslim is has additional right over you, the right of the parent and the right of Islam, and so on. But even the parent that is not a Muslim, we're going to hear a shout out to Allah as we move through the ayat and our Heidi, that even the parent that is

00:17:38--> 00:17:44

not a Muslim still has that right over you and ally so jetset cerna subpoena

00:17:45--> 00:17:50

to your parents to ESA and we've heard a son is to

00:17:51--> 00:18:01

have excellence in every way that you deal with them that every aspect, we said alcohol, el Faro, in fact,

00:18:03--> 00:18:12

more of the things you say the things you do the money you spend the affairs of the heart All of it towards your parents should be

00:18:13--> 00:19:06

it should be at the highest standard of what Islam expects from you. Rather the word if sign also indicates going beyond in Allah hi Monroeville ideally, what Allah commands justice, and he commands his son in an idle to do what you have to do and LSR to go beyond what you have to do. And you see from the understanding of the seller for salia home alone to Allah, that that which makes it crystal clear that they understood that a person should go beyond even that the the basic kind of things that you would expect a child to go to do for a parent. So you find one of them would put his face on the ground and tell his mother stand Put your feet upon my rest your feet upon my cheek. What

00:19:06--> 00:19:15

bill o'reilly Dania Santa Subhanallah and these are this is not by any means the most emphatic example among the actions of the seller for Hambleton.

00:19:16--> 00:19:45

So you are commanded to have excellence in every single aspect of the way you deal with your parents. Everything from the way you speak to them, the things you do for them, the things you don't do, because they asked you not to do them your obedience to them because we said Albert, it covers apart obedience and the way that you spend and the way that your heart is towards them and your softness to in all of these, you should have excellence

00:19:47--> 00:19:59

and then you should aim to go even beyond what they would expect. And that is why when we talked about the definition that was given early on, we talked about to Hadley to Henry mahad

00:20:00--> 00:20:00

Be

00:20:01--> 00:20:52

that a person actually actively seeks out the things that make their parents happy, and instinctively knows what our key mcherry and instinctively knows the things that make their parents sad. The person, it's not sad for the parent to have to ask the child to do something, this is an adult this is, you know, fairness, the parent says, Bring me a glass of water. And the child brings the parent a glass of water, how the whole adult is an adult. But it's not a lesson. This is not what a lie soldier commanded. And sad is that you bring your parent the water before they asked for it, that you bring it to them before they ask for it. Because you are actively searching out the

00:20:52--> 00:21:39

things that they like, you know what they need before they have to ask for it. For Life, they have to ask for it. This is a toxic reaction while it this is deficiency as it relates to the right of the parent. And it doesn't come under the full meaning of the word, airside. The full meaning of the word or sound would indicate that you give your parents what they want and what they need. And you avoid what they dislike before they even say the words. That's what a sign is. So yes, a sign is to excel, that you're obedient, that when you when they tell you to do something, you do it and so on. But it's more than that. It's also about being ahead of what they asked you to do. And actively

00:21:39--> 00:22:22

looking at what would make my mom happy today, what would make my dad happy today? What would my mom dislike from the things that I'm doing? While even if they didn't see, because some of the parents will pile on? Maybe they have higher, they're too shy to say to this children that something they don't like, saw there, maybe keep it quiet? Maybe they keep it inside of themselves. So a person actively thinks, what am I doing that I know, maybe I feel that my parents wouldn't like, and even those things they leave. And the word axon here in the ayah. is general. It's not, there's no particular kind of axon specified. Because this is,

00:22:23--> 00:23:14

is a carrier, which is ama is general for every kind of action. And that's why allies we didn't specify it, he didn't see a kind of sad, we're below early sign and you know, for example, in what you see in what you do, or sign and in the way you treat them, whether this is from the most generic of terms, it covers, and we said like the word sad, the word bitter, is a kalimat jamea These are words and phrases that are completely general and cover literally every single thing in the spectrum, what Bill O'Reilly said, and that's why it was kept general wabi vil kotoba. unto your relatives, well, yet Ah, well Misaki till the end of the ayah look at this system of the

00:23:14--> 00:23:17

organization of the society and Islam.

00:23:18--> 00:24:05

What a beautiful system this can only be a system which came from the Lord of the heavens and the earth. Because there's this doorway This is organized like this is on its own, is enough for a person to accept this love. If this is the only idea they had, because if you see so panela how Allah azza wa jal organized the society, everyone getting their rights. First of all, the right of Allah, our society, our much Tamar is built upon the rights of Allah before everything in anyone else, then the right of the parents, and they're the most deserving of the people of you fulfilling their rights. And then the relatives, each one of them, according to how near they are. Each one of

00:24:05--> 00:24:51

them according so that brothers, the sisters, the uncles and the aunts, and then outwards to the cousins, and then outwards and outwards. And looking after the uttama and the miskeen. The orphan who doesn't have perhaps they don't have the orphan is the one that their father passed away before they reach the age of puberty. And maybe some of them perhaps their mother even passed away as well. And they don't have that the world need to, to look after them and take care of them and protect their interests. And the miskeen the one who is so poor, that they have they've been afflicted by a mess can any they're destitute, and the ajar they'll corba the neighbor that is a relative of yours

00:24:51--> 00:24:59

with Jody journal, and the neighbor that is not a relative of yours, or sahibi Jim and the one that works with you or is next to you in travel or at your

00:25:00--> 00:25:44

workplace or in your school webinar is Sybil and the one who is cut off from their, their wealth and we might be wealthy but they're traveling and they don't have access to it when I may look at a man or even the people who are enslaved, somehow look at the way Islam give rights to all of them, each one of them organized in a perfect organization. Each one of them given the rights that they have to be given the output equal ad hoc ad hoc, give everyone who has a right over you there right. So a person should be grateful to Allah azza wa jal for this religion of Islam, and they should recognize the perfection and the wisdom, Hekmat on barely ever an infinite wisdom that exists. In the next

00:25:44--> 00:26:15

episode we're going to continue on in sha Allah, Allah to talk about the bitter wily Deen in the Quran and inshallah perhaps we can move on a little bit to build Wiley Dean in the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, that's what Allah made easy for me to mention and Allah knows best wa Salatu was Salam ala nabina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa, Salaam Alaikum. If you're enjoying these videos, and you'd like to keep up to date with all of the courses we're going to be running, make sure you head over to am [email protected]