The Muslim Family #23 – Are Women Allowed to Initiate Divorce in Islam

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leeuw Alhamdulillah lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala Abdullah who also Li Nabina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi H minus salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. We're still talking about the topic of divorce. And we said it's important to talk about because there's so many actions which are haraam take place at the time of divorce at the time of marital discord, which ruined families and cause serious problems for people. And if people knew the etiquettes of divorce according to the Quran and the Sunnah, then many times they will be able to save their marriages by the permission of Allah azza wa jal

to give an example Abdullayev and Mr. Ravi Allahu on Houma is reported, and the whole Pelican writer who were here

and it Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that he divorced his wife when she was on her menses during the time of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam for Salah Omar Abdullah Al Khattab Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Andranik for Carlos Zulu Lai sallallahu alayhi wa sallam more who

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So Irma, his father, the father of 11 barbital The Allahu anhu he asked the Prophet size of about what his son Abdullah had done. And the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, command him to take her back, command him to take her back. 4 million sick her had teta there let him keep her as a wife until she becomes pure from the mentors for Mata help, and then she has her menses again to Matata. And then she becomes pure again. fomat insha m seca back then if you want so you can keep her again. After that. What insha Allah aka cabela and Ms. And if he wishes, he divorces her before they are intimate once again for telechelic ada allottee Mr. La who and Toto la lucha

Nisa, this is their egg desert, Allah commanded for women to be divorced in this way. So this example of something that happened to Abdullah Omar, and it's an example of exactly the principle that we said, in the sense that the woman, she can only be divorced in a time of purity, when there has not been, as opposed to some said cobbler. And he is before he is intimate with her before he goes to him that way, before he touches her in that way. So there's no intimacy, the menses is finished at that time, he can issue the divorce and the divorce, it lasts for the three menstrual periods that at that time, if he wants to take a back, he can take a back. If he wants to let her

go, he can let he let her go. And if he lets her go, and three menstrual periods finishes, that means the marriage is over, but they can get back together with a new marriage contract without her needing to marry anybody else. Because he has just one divorce, and that one divorce is not counted. Once it's finished, and it's gone. The marriage is dissolved. A new marriage contract can be done but obviously it has to be with her consent, his consent and the consent of the wellI as well. So it's not an easy thing, but it could potentially happen after that. And it's not counted under the three divorce rule that people speak about so frequently in the religion of Islam.

Allah azza wa jal said of tala Kumar Ratan for himself can be married wolfin ltcm. Barisan talaq is two times meaning the process of divorcing and bringing back can happen twice when it happens a third time. That's it. So this again, we said the man divorces his wife brings her back inside of the data. Then he divorces her another time could be after a year, two years, three years four years, divorce another time and brings it back again to two divorces and two times he brought back before they finished. Now when it comes to the third time he has a choice for himself can be marital either keep her in good outer city from the outside or just let her go in the best possible way but

he's not allowed to bring her back again the third time if you let her go the third time, he can't bring her back the third time and after that she's not allowed to marry anyone as allies, which I said for Impala. kaha falletta Hilda hoomin back to her tank has an agenda that if he divorces her after that, I one time he brought her back another time he brought back the third time then he cannot marry her again until she has married and been intimate

With a, another husband with another husband. And that kind of summarizes the rules of divorce. As we said, I don't really want to get into lots of detail about things like the divorce before the marriage has completed, or the divorce of the one that had the hatchet hasn't been alone with a husband or the divorce, with the Mahara. Without the Mahara and things like that. We just want to talk about divorce as a general concept. So people understand the basic etiquettes of it. And we want to avoid people getting into these habits that we've spoken about, like these habits that we've seen of people divorcing and then looking for the quick way out. Which scholar will give me a fatwa

that my divorce didn't count. Someone says, I divorced my wife 20 times, but the first time I was angry, the second time, I was insane. The third time I didn't know what I was doing. And all of this kind of running around and escaping trying to get their way out of the problems they got themselves into. Let divorce be the absolute last resort. Look at all the steps are lies which are set for evil no at all. None of them are Vijayawada, reborn never boon for birth, we're having a hard time. I mean earlier, all of the steps that we spoke about

was sort of hair that let them make peace between them send someone from his family, someone from her family that admonishment, they're leaving the but all the things that our last panel data spoke, let tala be something that is the back back last last option. And let it be an option that the man takes his time to think about. He doesn't rush to give it he doesn't give me an angle, he doesn't give it and then run around trying to find out how we can get himself out of the situation that he got himself into. Instead, he takes it seriously. And he takes it slowly. And he doesn't issue those words and see those words, until he is truly given it thought. And if he decides to bring his wife

back, he brings in good and he treats as a wife not leaving her, neither married nor divorced. And if you let her go, he lets her go with his son in the best possible way.

So now we come to the issue of the home.

And the healer is the right of a woman to break up a marriage. And since the marriage was entered into by the man and it was entered into by the woman, then it can be broken on the side of the man it can also be broken on the side of the woman from the side of the woman, but it's in a different, it's in a different a different way. So the process of the hula is different from the process of the talaq.

The word cooler linguistically, it means xyla means to get rid of something to remove something and to have it canceled out. And when it's mentioned with the

when it's mentioned with the dumber a hula, then it refers to particularly the cancelling of the marriage contract from the point of view of the wife, the wife canceling the marriage contract.

So, it is a parting between the husband and wife in a specific way, either a welding, your defense or Roger in return for something which is given back to the man and this is the important thing that we have here. That in the hole at one of the major differences between the hula and between the

talaq is what they call the hula is they sometimes referred to as tala can be a word, it is a divorce in return for something in divorce in return for something which is given back to the man some some sort of wealth, that is given back to the man sometimes they call it a female instigated divorce and sometimes they just refer to it by the word hula. But what it is is it is a divorce that takes place in return for something that is given to a man and typically that is to give back the mouth or some of the Mahara back to the man.

This is alluded to in the statement of Eliza gel attala cammarata for himself can be metal roofing LTC home bare sand. What are your Hello lakum

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Alliance which alludes to this process, in this particular IRA, in which Allah azza wa jal said that it's not permissible for you to take anything that you have given them i given your wife back and less the two of you fear you will not stick to the limits of a lot. So if you fear you will not stick to the limits of Allah. There is no harm between the two of you in what you agreed to be paid back. What you agreed to be paid back to the man the man agrees to be paid back to him. And this is what they call Tyler con Pierre Well, it is a divorce where the man is paid back something and that is what they call the whole lot the divorce from the side of from the point of view of the woman or

from the side or the angle of the woman. And this is reported in the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam from the hadith of Abdullah abass or the Allahu and Homer that he said, jack ma to sabot nuclease ignition mass, Ravi Allahu en Houma la Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam a call it the wife of Tabitha increase it and Seamus, may Allah be pleased with them both who came to the Prophet solo light she came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and she said Jaroslaw, or messenger of Allah.

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She said, I'm not blaming sabut in his religion, and I'm not blaming his character. But I fear in gratitude.

I'm scared that I'm, in other words, this is look at her, her excellence of her behavior. Because she said, she was so honest. She said, I'm not blaming him for his religion. I'm not saying he's a he's a religious man or unreligious. Man. I'm not saying that he's got bad character. But I don't feel that I can continue to uphold the responsibilities that obligations of a wife and I'm frightened that I'm going to start to be ungrateful towards him. She came to the Prophet sites. And so this tells us that the hula it has to be conducted, and it has to be overseen by the judge or the one who is in the position of the judge. came to the prophet SAW Selim, she said, I'm not blaming

him in his religion. I'm not blaming him in his manners. I'm scared of ingratitude for Karla Rasulullah, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he said, Fatah, Dena la he Heidi akata. Are you willing to give him back his garden? Either he had given to you for pilot Nam for a debt alley? She said yes, I am willing. So it was given back to him. What Mr. Hall, aka her Allah and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam commanded him. And the marriage it was broken up between them the marriage between them, it was dissolved. And that's according to the Roger correct opinion among the scholars. That's what actually happens in the hula

is not actually a Pollock. It is a it is more of a festival. It's the marriage is actually dissolved. The marriage is dissolved. And it's not. It's not the case that the marriage is like, it's not the rules of like the divorce don't apply. Rather, the woman she gives back to her husband, something from what he gave, she gives back the model. She gives back something what she did what the judge commands her to give, and the man in return for that he breaks up the marriage in a different way to the talaq one month. So it's not like the talaq and it doesn't have the same rules of the man can't return back when the hula has been issued, the man can't return it back, he doesn't

have the right of Raja, the right to bring his wife back again. Because that whole at once it has been issued, the marriage is over and the marriage is finished. But she waits for one month period. And that's to make the transition easy because if she's to leave on the day, that presents difficulty for her and for him, rather, she has that one month of a debt, but he doesn't have the right to bring her back during that period. Now there's this issue of the whole and the next question comes then well, what will happen

If the whole act takes place, what will happen? If they want to marry again? Yes, they can marry again with a new marriage contract. But once again, when we said about the new marriage contract, it requires a number of things. And it requires, obviously consent from the husband consent from the wife, consent from the wellI of the wife. So the matter is not an easy one. And it's one in which it may not be easy for them to get back together, but the option does exist and it's not counted. If there's a new contract, then the numbers start again, from zero, the count starts again from zero.

So briefly, we have covered the rulings relating to talaaq. And the rulings relating to the hula, the divorce from the side of the man, the divorce from the side of the woman, there is a third kind, which is sometimes mentioned, which is Fs, which is in a way of hula is a kind of an example of it. But it's where the judge dissolves the marriage, maybe, for example, the husband has disappeared or something like that. And, and divorces, the judge dissolves the marriage. But really, that doesn't really come under our discussion in this Muslim family series, because the reason we mentioned this is, as we said,

so this whole course I mean, we've spoken so far about the concept of the family. Then we spoke about marriage and the concept of marriage, we spoke about the rights of the husband, the rights of the wife, we spoke about the shared rights, the individual rights. And we spoke about what happens when the marriage breaks down and some basic principles for dealing with that. And finally, we spoke about divorce.

And from the point of view of the man and the point of view of the woman, and as we said, it's not a matter of encouraging people to get divorced, That's not at all what we want to do. And divorce is something which is disliked by Allah azzawajal, if it isn't, for a good reason, but for people to be aware of what divorce is from the man side, and the woman side is very important because it protects them from things that might ruin their family in a permanent way. Like we've seen some men who gives a divorce three times in one go, and then they go looking for fatawa to get themselves out of the situation they're in. And maybe they don't see their kids again, and everything gets broken up.

Because of they just got angry one day and they ruin things for themselves. And then the situation becomes difficult because some of the scholars tell them, it's counted, some tells them it's not. And they put themselves into trouble. As for the woman side, as it relates to the fuller than the woman, her responsibility is not to seek the whole out just like that for no reason. And the judge has every right on the topic of the whole lot to ask the couple to go through counseling before giving the whole, he has every right to say to the woman, I'm not going to give you the whole until I look at the issue and whether you need counseling and so on. And until he might save. How can you

send a person to negotiate for her person to negotiate for him, we've seen all the safeguards that exist within marriage. So ultimately, this kind of brings us to the end of the topic of marriage, but not the end of the topic of the Muslim family. We're now going to go on to look at the or one of the major fruits of marriage, which is children having children, we're going to look at the relationship of children with parents, and the relationship of parents with children, the issues of the rights of the parents the rights of the child and how those dynamics work together.

But in this short course, we've hoped we've tried to bring you inshallah to Allah as much information as possible about the husband and wife because as we said, that's how the Muslim family started. Started with Adam and Hawa alayhis salam, and then Eliza gel set out from them or seminoma the gel in case you don't want he said many men and many women came out from them. The entire of many Adam came out from Adam and Hawa, which is the start of the Muslim family. After that Adam and Howard had children. And that is where we're gonna go to next, the issue of the children and the issue of the parents, the rights of the parents, the rights of the children, how to educate your

children, the responsibilities in terms of Islamic education, in terms of worldly education, all of these issues and shout out to Allah. We're going to cover in this kind of, if you like second part, or second segment of this short course brought to you by another Austral America. After that, we then going to go on to look at some of the other issues in a shorter part we're going to look in Sharla at the relatives, things like maybe siblings and the wider relatives and what they are

rights and obligations are. But definitely a big chunk of the course. Now coming up is going to be on the topic of parents and children. And we're just taking that like in the same chronological order that the beginning of the Muslim family was Adam worth and her children. So we talked about husband and wife. And now we're going to talk about children. And we're taught from both angles, as we said, the rights of the children, and the rights of the parents together. So we're going to look at what responsibilities to parents have towards children, and what responsibilities to children have towards parents. And we will, we'll still look at that in terms of marriage as well. Like when

marriage gets involved, what are the children's responsibilities towards the parents the wife's responsibilities towards her parents after she gets married, all of this inshallah to Allah, we're going to cover on the topic of children, and parents, in short, Allahu taala. Now, one thing I would like to do,

before we conclude, and I think this is important is to recommend on the topic of marriage, if I were to recommend some books, in English on the topic of marriage, what would I recommend, and I usually recommend this series of four books, because they are absolutely amazing. And indeed, I was careful to read through these books, or at least, to read at least one of them before we did this course, because of the benefit that these books contain. And that is the marriage series by Mohammed algae Valley. And this is a beautiful series of four books, on the qualities of the spouses on marital intimacy, on the rights of the husband and the rights of the wife. And then the issue of

children. It's a series of four books. And I often give it as a gift to people who are going to get married, I think it's a it's a must read for everyone who is married, or is thinking of getting married, that they should read these four books, because really, they have in them every or a large number of the Heidi's and the ayat that relate to marriage and the benefits that can be taken from them. So that's something I would definitely recommend people to go to, to get more information about the rights of the husband, the rights of the wife, and some of the etiquettes of the husband and the wife living together, that maybe we didn't cover in in as much detail in this course. It's

only a short course and we've tried to cover as much as we can, but there's still going to be things that we left out. That's all we have time for in this episode inshallah to Allah. And in the next episode, as we said, we're starting a whole new segment on the topic of parents and children, children and parents, and then later on to go on to the topic of the wider family members and their rights as well. That's what ally made easy for me to mention and allies regionals best or Salatu was Salam ala nabina, Muhammad Ali, also happy Vegemite, as salaam alaikum. If you're enjoying these videos, and you'd like to keep up to date with all of the courses we're going to be running, make

sure you head over to am [email protected]