Channel: Tim Humble
Series: Tim Humble - The Muslim Family
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Alhamdulillah Hiro Billa alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala Abdullah he was solely Nabina Muhammad wa ala early he was happy he edge mine, as salam or aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.
We begin as always, by praising Allah azza wa jal by asking Allah to exalt the mentioning grant peace to our messenger Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, to his family and his companions. Before we actually get into the topic of the episode today, as part of this course on the Muslim family, brought to you by a madrasa tutor Maria, I actually wanted to touch upon a question that was posted over and asked to me about some of the course material that we had covered previously. And actually, what I wanted to say, first of all, is how wonderful and amazing it is. And definitely, as a teacher, it is something that I appreciate so much, is when you see that a student has really
considered the content, and really has gone through it. And there are issues that have come up, or questions that have come up, that directly relate to the content. So I've had a few examples of this, from the students who have been following the course Alhamdulillah, we had an excellent question early on regarding the authenticity of a particular Hadith that I mentioned. And just look at what that shows, from the point of view of the student, that you have a student who's taking the Hadeeth, looking for the Hadith, where it's found in the books of the of the Sunnah, checking the reliability and the authenticity of it, while I'd asked that just shows that you have students who
really are, you know, really going through the content and, and really looking at trying their best to understand the points that have been raised. And sometimes when you do that, you're going to find things that your teacher got wrong, or you're going to find things that you think at least you want to raise a question over it. You want to say, Okay, why did you mention this here? Or do you think that this is is this appropriate to use in this context, for example, and as long as the questions asked in a sensible way, is very, very beneficial for everyone. And especially for me, because it allows me to kind of go back and question the content that I put forward and ask myself, is this
exactly did I make the point in the right way? Did I use that idea or that Heidi thing, the right way to go back to the books of the scholars go through it again? And make sure and then answer inshallah, that the question. So it's beneficial for everybody. And one of the questions I got asked later on, quite recently, on the course, I thought was an excellent question. And I thought it highlighted something that I didn't mention. So the question came regarding a woman who owns her own house,
and whether or not she has the right to decide who enters into the house. So the question was that if you have rights that are opposite one another, or you have rights that go in pairs with each other, and in some of the Hadeeth, we talked about the right of the husband to provide accommodation for his wife, for example. And then the contrast like in the Hadith, of jabber in Sahih, Muslim, and then the contrast of it in terms of the woman that she doesn't allow anyone to enter into her home that her husband doesn't like, or she doesn't allow anyone to sit on her husband's bed that her husband doesn't like. So the question that was asked, and I thought this was an excellent question
is what happens if the house is not provided by the husband? And this was a very, very good question, because it really shows the student is really thinking about things. So what happens if the wife owns her own house and lives in a house that she owns for herself?
In that situation? Who is the one that has the right to decide who comes into the house? Is it still the husband? Or is it the case that because she owns that house and her husband is not providing a house for her that she now has the right to decide who comes into the house and who doesn't? So this was a really good question. It was a question I wasn't sure of the answer to. I went back to the books of the scholars and the statements of the scholars and I found a statement by Lieberman Halford who Rahim Allah to Allah in alberty. And likewise, his statement, of course will be Rahim Allah, Who to Allah. And both of them stated unequivocally, that it's still the husband's right to
allow who comes into the house or who doesn't. And they said that it's because the word here Beatty he his house
Doesn't mean the house that he pays for.
The word doesn't allow into his house. It doesn't mean the house that he pays for. But rather it means the house that he lives in the house that he lives in. This was a point that will have it no hijo Rahim Allah to Allah He made, that it's not the house that he pays for, but the house that he lives in, and the fact that he lives in it, and the fact he's married to that woman, and he has that pulwama that responsibility within the house. And that kind of as the head of the household, that the fact that he pays or doesn't pay for the house, doesn't restrict him from having permission to control who comes into the house and who doesn't. And that was a benefit, I thought I would like to
share with everybody, because it is quite a common thing in this day and age, it's not always the case that the husband necessarily provides the house, the lady might have her own house. Or it may be that before she got married, she already had a house. And it might be that she had
perhaps had a house of her own before she got married, or she had been married before and she had a house and then she got married after again for a second time. And in that case, she's still living in the house that she was living in before many situations in which the woman might own her own house. And also here, I thought there's a point that came to my mind when the question was first asked. And I thought it was a good point, it just came into my mind that there's a difference between the situation of new shoes and a situation of a situation where it's it just happened like that. It's like a natural situation. So I'll give an example. In one situation, there's a woman who
has her own house. And when she goes to get married, she says to her husband, that I would rather stay in the house that I already have, I like my house, and I've decorated it, and I'm going to be staying there. And maybe the husband might pay the bills, or whatever it is. or she may even say to her husband, I'm not, you know, I'm more than happy to pay the bills, because remember him paying the bills is a right she has and she can give up her right just like he can give up his right. And we talked about that when we talked about a solar making peace between the husband and the wife, or making an agreement between the two of them. So here that this is not a situation of marital
Discord. It's not a situation where the wife is refusing to obey the husband, or where the husband is refusing to give rights to the wife. And he's saying, I'm not going to provide anything for you. And I have no interest in it. It's a situation which is either something that happened by agreement of both parties,
or something natural that was like that anyway. So the the, for example, the woman she had her own house before, and she's happy with it, she's decorated, he likes it and she says to her husband, I'm I would like to stay here, I don't really want to move to a new house. And maybe she might even say to her husband that
I want to pay the bills, I've always paid my bills, I don't want you to pay my, you know, my my electricity bill or my gas bill or whatever, I've always paid them myself. So this is not a situation of new shoes, it's not a situation where she is not able any longer to obey a husband or where the husband is not able any longer to or not willing any longer to give his wife his rights. This is not a situation like that. And, and because it's not a situation like that, then the issue of one of them taking the rights away from the other like as a punishment, it doesn't come into the equation at all. The second issue is when it is a situation of muscles, the husband says I'm not
going to provide a house for you. I'm no longer willing to provide a house for you, for example, and I'm not going to pay anything not is also a different situation. So I think you have to distinguish between the two of them. But having said that, still we go back to the statement of those two great scholars of Islam. And indeed others mentioned it also. And that is to say that the the husband's right to to allow people into the house or to decide who comes into the house is a right that's related to him living there is that that it's his bait. It's the place where he lives. He's married to that woman. And that's the place where he lives. That's what the right is related to. And it's
not related to the fact that he owns the house or doesn't own the house, or that he pays for the house or doesn't pay for the house. That's what I found from their statements. And I thought I would answer that question. And I think from time to time, it doesn't hurt for us to answer questions
in uniform for the students insha Allah where those questions are directly related to the course material. I think things that are not directly related to the course material. There's definitely a place for answering those questions in sha Allah to Allah and I hope you're going to
We've seen some of those q&a sessions coming up in Sharla. But I think that sometimes when it relates directly to the course material, it is beneficial to answer them directly from time to time for the students who've been following the course. And we hope that that was a benefit for everybody in short, alota Allah. So that being said, we're now we're going to move on to the content of the episode that we have for you today. And we've moved on completely from the topic of husband and wife. Now here I had a decision to make. And my decision to make was which family relationship should I speak about next, and half of me I was inclined towards to talk about the rights of the
parents, because of the severity and the greatness and the importance of that bond that exists and the importance of that right that Allah subhanaw taala made next to his rights. What I bought a lot while actually will be here will be the Wally Dini Santa's worship Allah, and don't make any partner with him and be good to your parents. But the reason I want to talk about children now and the reason this episode is going to be about children in sha Allah and the subsequent episodes that are coming up, and the next few days are all going to be about children inshallah, is because of the way that we structured the course in the beginning. Why did we begin with the husband and the wife? Why
not begin with the parents? Because we took it in the chronological order or the natural order. And the natural order is that Allah azza wa jal began this race of Bani Adam, the human race, Allah azzawajal began them by bringing together a husband and a wife, Adam and her work. The next chronological step is that Adam and Howard had children. So I actually think that following that pattern, we want to start talking about the children. And then we're going to talk about the child towards the child towards the parent. And some might say, well, don't those two rights come at the same time? Isn't it the case that the
the, I mean, obviously, as soon as you have children, the children have you have rights over them, and they have rights over you. However, if you look at it chronologically, there are rights of the child that begin before the child is born. And before the child is more qLf, before the child is responsible for their actions. And before the child is required to do better or validate to be good to their parents. So chronologically, the rights of the children probably come before in terms of the order, they might come before the right of the parents because there are rights of the children that begin before the child is born. And there's also a link between the rights of the children and
the rights of the husband and wife. And we're going to talk about that in Sharla. And as we come to inshallah, Tyler. So, for me, I felt that it makes sense, as we're going through things in order. And we spoke about how Eliza Jed began the human race from Adam and her work through marriage, and then through children, that it makes sense that we start by talking about children. And then as time goes by, those children get a little bit older, and we start talking about Okay, now, the child is at the age of discernment of tummies where they can distinguish the difference between right and wrong. So now it becomes, it becomes something that we should start talking about what they need to
do towards their parents. And that's in chronological order, and not in order of importance. Otherwise, if we're talking about order of importance, then no doubt the rights of the parents are the most important of all of the rights after the right of Allah as the origin. So we're talking about children, and all I want to focus in this episode is that our children are
a blessing. And our children are a hibbett, a gift from Allah subhanaw taala. And I think that when you realize the importance of our children, and you realize that they are a blessing, and you realize that they are a gift from Allah subhanaw taala, and that it is obligatory on you, to show gratitude to Allah for this Nirvana and this Hibbert, this blessing and this gift, then that sets the scene for the importance of the rights of the children, and their position in the family. Because when you realize the importance of something is when you realize its virtue. And here, it's not the virtue of the child that we want to talk about necessarily as in the child as a child, but
we want to talk about the virtue of having a child, the blessing and the gift that a child is from Allah subhanaw taala and that's what we are going to talk about today, the children as a nearmap as a blessing and a Heber. And as a gift for
Allah subhanaw taala he told us in the Quran lilla he muku semi watty will out your local nyesha yahudi Manisha inessa via Lima Yeshua was the cook I will use a widow whom Khurana was a NASA YG Romania Russia akima in Lima Makati so to show up between Iran number 49 and AI number 50. Everything in the heavens and the earth belongs to Allah as
allies origin who is Al Malik? A lot so a gel who is Maliki Yomi Deen, Allah subhanaw taala everything in the heavens and the earth belongs to him. And so whatever we receive of blessings, or gifts from Allah subhanaw taala. So to Allah belongs everything in the heavens and everything in earth. Allah gives
a lot of gifts
or Allah creates whatever he wants, he gives meal children to whoever he wants. And he gives female children to whoever he wants, or he brings them together and gives male and female children I some people have male and female children.
And whoever he wants, he makes them barren, he gives them no children at all. Indeed, he is a Lehman Paddy, he is knowing of everything, and he is able to do everything.
This ayah is one of the most fundamental proofs that our children are a gift from Allah azza wa jal because Allah subhanaw taala said he had, yeah, Bali Masha, Allah gives the gift of male children to whoever he wants. And he gives the gift of female children to whoever he wants. And he gives the gift of putting together male and female children, I a mix of boys and girls, to whoever he wants, and whoever he wants, he leaves them without any children at all. And that's the nature of a gift, right you can give a gift or withhold the gift. And there's no blame on a person, whether they give a gift or withhold the gift and Allah subhanaw taala when he left he methyl Allah to Allah belongs
to the highest example. So Allah subhanaw taala, he gives this gift of children, and to some people, he gives only voice, to some he gives only girls, to some, he gives a mix of boys and girls and to some he makes them without or he makes it that they are without children at all. And that is from the aim of Allah subhanaw taala from the knowledge of Allah and from his, from his immense and perfect ability and perfect knowledge that he distributes children in this way. And so how to align Islam there is no there is no kind of stigma attached to any of these situations. Because a Muslim recognizes that this situation came from Allah as origin. It came from Allah azza wa jal that you
have only boys and don't have any girls. And you see the family that has only boys and Subhanallah perhaps they would wish for a girl. And there are some families that have only girls, and perhaps they would wish for a boy. And there are some families that don't have any, they don't have any children at all. And we know how much that how much a person wishes to have, wishes to have children. So all of this is a gift from Allah subhanaw taala. And also this is why I brought this idea here is to emphasize to you and to make you think about the situation of the one that doesn't have any children.
wage. Romania shall Arkema and he makes whoever he wishes barren without children. So pallid, perhaps there would be a rich person from the richest of the people on this earth. And they would give Murphy they would give everything on the earth jemmy and all of it to be able to have a child. But Allah Subhana Allah made them he made them the situation that they don't have any children.
That's from the knowledge of a lion his ability and the fact that Allah is so agile, distributes the risk to whoever he wants. Some people he gives money, some people he doesn't give money. Some people he gives children some he doesn't give children
a las panatela gives and distribute his risk however he wants a pinata. So I brought this ayah for two reasons. Number one, to establish that children are a gift from Allah azza wa jal and when you have a gift, you should always be grateful. It's a gift, a lie. So he spoke about it using the word yeah herbal to give a gift.
Laser gel gave it as a HIPAA as a gift.
And if it's a gift, then whenever you're given a gift, you should be grateful. And when the gift is something that people crave for, and people would spend all the money that they have to achieve, and people try, and they go for medical treatments, and they go for all kinds of things, which are both draining upon health, and upon financial resources, only saw that they can get this gift from Allah subhanaw taala. So what is the situation like how grateful should we be for the gift of children, for the gift of children, and just remember those who don't have any children and how hard it is for them to be appreciative of this gift that Allah subhanaw taala has given and every gift you are
given deserves gratitude. And that shows us that we have to be grateful to Allah azza wa jal for everything that he has given us. And it also shows you that if you are from those people who are not able to have any children, or until now you haven't been able to have any children, then it also shows you that you need to seek this blessing from the one who has it. You can't ask a gift from the from the person that doesn't have that gift to give it to you. So like the people run around, maybe perhaps you see some of the people they even go to the grave. And they pray and they ask the person in the grave to give them children or they go to the magician, or they go to the healer. And they
ask the healer to give them children a perhaps some of them put complete faith in the doctor. And they ask the doctor to give them children not in the sense of just going for medical treatment and believing the blessing comes from a love of actually believing and having complete trust and hope that the doctor can give them children. And ultimately, you need to realize that none of those people this gift is not in our hands. They don't own it. They're not from the people or they're not from they're not the one that Allah said, when he left he Maluku somewhat evil are to Allah belongs everything in the heavens and the earth. Allah creates what he wants, Allah gives this gift to
whoever he wants. So if you from those people haven't been able to have children until now. And I say until now because there is no reason why Allah subhanaw taala will not decree for you to have children at a time that he knows subhanaw taala we're going to talk about the story of Zachary. And likewise, Ibrahim alayhi wa sallam regarding their children and having children later in life is in the hands of Allah subhanaw taala. But you need to seek this gift from the one who controls it and the one who possesses it. And that is Allah subhanaw taala. He is the one that controls this. He's the one that possesses it. So if you haven't been able to have children, and you are one of those
people who want to have children or trying to have children, but you couldn't then make sure it is a law as well that you are asking, and that doesn't mean that you can't seek a medical course or a medical treatment, or you can't seek a means that is from the the means that Allah has placed in this earth in order to be able to have children, but ultimately, it is from Allah subhanaw taala to attach your heart to Allah and make you to act towards Allah and put your worship and your effort towards Allah soprano to Allah and then take the causes in the means that our Lost Planet Allah has placed and that's a principle in everything that we have in this world and everything that we want
in this world. Whatever it is, whether it is of wealth or children or anything from the Xena to hieratic dunya from the adornment of this world is that we ask it from allies origin and we put our heart and attach our heart to Allah subhanaw taala and then we take whatever means Allah subhanaw taala has made permissible for us to take on that topic. Allah azza wa jal said a murder well known as Xena it will hieratic dunya will back here to slowly how to hire Ron and Rob Baker Weber will hire on MLS sort of cast iron number 46 allies which has said wealth and children are the adornment of the life of this world.
And the bulky society hat back here, it means something that remains and obviously sila hat is something which is righteous, the righteous remains or the remaining righteous things are better in the sight of your Lord in reward and better in hope.
So panel, I think about this I What a beautiful idea. And we can definitely take a benefit from this in terms of our children are nearer that allies. So originally, he described wealth and children as the adornment of this world.
The adornment of this worldly life. It's like they they are a an adornment, something that makes this worldly life beautiful. Decorate it and makes it beautiful and makes it pleasing.
Is that you have wealth, and children and we said, this is an evidence that wealth and children are both from the provision of Allah Subhana Allah and the things that are lies. So he gives to people as a gift, he gives it to some people, it doesn't give it to others, and some he gives a lot into some, he gives very few into some he doesn't give any at all, so chronotype, but allies, which has said a while back here to slowly hurt, the righteous remaining, the things that are righteous that remain. So this is an interesting question, what are the barkey? out of sila hat? What are these righteous things which remain that are better in reward and better? For you're not embedded in hope?
What are they? What are these things I mean, how many people live their life hoping for money, how many live their life hoping for children, you know, seeking the rewards to the worldly rewards of having children, like someone you know, continuing your lineage like someone who
is going to serve you when you're older, like someone who's going to provide income for you when your income has ceased and so on. These are things that people seek from the the rewards of the worldly life, from the from the matters of the worldly life, from the day to day wish for, for children. So what are the bulky out of the hat, the scholars of Tafseer they have a lot of different opinions. But here are all of their different opinions, they come back to one thing, and that are the bulky, out of sight of heart refer to the righteous, good deeds, the righteous good deeds, and that could be the salotto comes the five daily prayers. It could be other things from the things
that the scholars mentioned up Tafseer. But ultimately, all of their opinions, generally speaking can be summarized in the sentence that appear to solve the heart of the righteous good deeds, the righteous good deeds, those are more important than what Allah is which Allah has given you from wealth and children. And this gives us a principle and that is that Allah azza wa jal gives the dunya to those whom he loves, and those whom he doesn't, but he only gives the Akira to those whom he loves. Eliza gel gives the dunya to those who he loves. There are people who Allah loves in Estonia who have children, many children, there are people whom Allah loves in Estonia that have
lots of money. There are people whom Allah azza wa jal hates in Estonia that have many children. And there are people whom Allah hates in Estonia that have lots of money. Ultimately, you having children, or having money, and wealth doesn't make you beloved to Allah. It doesn't make you from the people who will have a high standing in the archaea. What matters are the good deeds that you put forward. By here, there's an interesting subtle point, a little subtlety or a little subtle point here. And that is you can use your wealth and your children to be from the Bucky out of Sally hat. You can make it from the deeds that remain by putting the effort in and by thanking Allah for
that blessing and using that blessing to please Allah, the man and the moon, the wealth of the children that are the Xena, the decoration of this worldly life can become from the puppy out of the hat, from the righteous good deeds that really matter. By using the blessings you have been given for a lie soldier, if Allah subhanaw taala has given you that blessing of allies which has given you the blessing, whether it be wealth, whether it be children or anything else from the blessings, health, or free time, or knowledge,
either knowledge of the worldly life or knowledge of the religion, which is even more important, whatever Allah has given you use it and make it from the Bucky outside hat. Don't make it from something which is nothing more than the Xena to hire to do nothing more than the decoration of this world. Because that doesn't distinguish the righteous from the people who are not righteous, because Allah gives this dunya to those who he loves, or those whom he loves and those whom he doesn't love, but allies which only gives the accurate of those whom he loves. So use and this is again another emphasis upon the blessing of your children. Use the blessing of children to get near to Allah.
Don't make it something that just decorate your worldly life for you. That just makes your life look beautiful, but make it something that really remains yomo Kiana and is something which is worth it and you have you have really shown gratitude to allies or gel for that particular blessing. Eliza which has set in solid early Emraan z and le nasci hoepa chahatein and Nisa you will Benny while canal theory mohkum 30 minute happy will filter while highly most of it well and um you will
Health Valley came at our high it dounia will la who and who personal map Eliza which has said that
are people xuyen illness people have it's become beaut it's been made beautiful to people, the love of a shower, the love of their desires, people's desires and the love that they have for those desires have been made beautiful for them. Whether it be women, children, piles of gold and silver, branded horses, cattle, or land, these are all from the things that have been made beautiful to people. And I brought this because it is an era of a lie soldier. All of these things are from the name of Allah subhanaw taala all of these things are from the neon from the blessings of Allah azza wa jal
and Nisa to have a righteous wife
and Benny to have children elocon LTL Mohan karate man at the hub you will feel
gold and silver in piles upon piles,
horses, cattle land all of these are from the near mobilizer J. But ultimately they are from the things that can be used for good or for evil, and can be used to please Allah, or can be used to anger Allah, or can be come from the things which are just neutral which don't benefit you anything. They neither benefited, you know, they harmed you. So again, it's about seeing the blessing of children look at how allies which I mentioned this, the children, you mentioned it second in the list of these things that people love to have. So if you've been given something people love to have have to use it in a way that is pleasing to analyze the widget. This is the material hire to dounia
it is the provision and the temporary enjoyment of this life. But Allah is that which are the final destination and the and the beauty and the amazing nature of the archaeology. This is what is with Allah soprano Tyler, can we said the Hadeeth in which the Prophet sighs himself dounia matar This world is nothing but a temporary enjoyment. And the best temporary enjoyment is Mr. Atul sided, a righteous wife and allies which I mentioned after the the righteous wife allies, which I mentioned from the metallic dounia from the adornment and the temporary enjoyment of the dunya is children and so children are a blessing and a gift from Allah azza wa jal who controls everything in the heavens
and everything in the earth.
That's all we have time for in this episode is shot Allahu taala. We're going to be continuing with the theme that our children are a gift in the next episode, we're also going to look at the fact that our children are a test and a trial. And so it's not just that our children are a gift and a blessing. But they also attest in a trial and we're going to look at that also in the next episode inshallah to Allah that's what Allah made easy for me to mention in the time that I have an ally so generals best wa Salatu was Salam ala nabina Muhammad wa ala early he was so happy he edge marine Assalamu alaikum. If you're enjoying these videos, and you'd like to keep up to date with all of the
courses we're going to be running make sure you head over to a m au add home.com