The Muslim Family #10 – An Interactive Session for You and Your Family P2

What are kulu filco Ronnie magia E

to carry mouza lu wha colocar La la la de la Lu well Mustafa al de

leeuw and hamdulillah Europeana alameen wa Salatu was Salam. ala rasulillah Nabina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi h mine As salam or aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

We begin as always, by praising Allah azza wa jal by asking a lot to exalt dimension and grant peace to our messenger Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, his family and his companions.

inshallah to Allah This episode is a continuation the second part of our sort of tying everything up and wrapping everything up as it relates to our previous discussion. And we said, there were a number of ahaadeeth a number of items that I alluded to in previous videos, I kind of mentioned it in passing, but I didn't really get to it in detail. So I wanted to bring those in. And also, just to mention a couple of extra points that come to mind, inshallah. Tada. So we're asking everyone, after every Hadeeth after every hire, pause the video, and have a think where you think it fits in and what are the benefits you can take from it. So we're going to start with a Hadeeth of our mother

eyeshadow, viola and her Madonna by Rasulullah sallallahu. It was send them a high demand level. Well, what else? bada ba ba de Shea

the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam never struck a servant of his nor a woman nor his wife or any woman and he never struck any one or anything with his hand.

Where does this fit into our discussion? was in family, the concept of marriage ideal wife, the Ideal Husband, where do we put this in and what are the benefits have a think

so inshallah to Allah you had a chance to pause and think about that. So I would put this under the Ideal Husband that the Ideal Husband is not the one who hits his wife and we spoke in the Heidi's of on Zara about the woman who said she said Jackie felt lucky Oh Gemma Aquila lucky that whether he cuts your head or makes your head bleed or wounds your head or wounds your body or it was both at the same time and we said that even though we're going to discuss in the topic of a new shows inshallah marital discord, we can discuss about the issue of whether a husband is allowed to,

for want of a better word, hit his wife, or even tap his wife, is that allowed or not allowed? What are the conditions and rules and regulations around that we can talk about that in sha Allah to Allah, but as the best example, that we can take the example of the Prophet slicin he never ever hit a woman. He never raised his hand to a woman Salatu was Salam Wylie nor did he raise his hand to anything, except in battle. Salatu was Salam O Allah, and there are other narrations that indicate except in battle in battle, so only time so he saw I saw them raised his hand, because Allah azza wa jal sent him right my attending enemy as a mercy to all of mankind. So he set the best example in

that regard. Our next Hadeeth By the way, that was Heidi was in Sahih, Muslim from a Chateau de la and her our next Heidi is in Muslim Ahmed from Asia of your love and her either Aurora de la who Isaiah gel, be early baiting, holla at Allah Allah.

If Allah wants good for a household, he puts softness and gentleness compassion as one word risk but I'm just bringing out those words softness gentleness, compassion between them, where does this fit in?

So inshallah tell you how to think about that. I believe that this can fit in pretty much anywhere in our discussion, because it talks about a loony bait and entire family and entire household of people that all the people in that household that Eliza gel if you want good for them, he puts a rift between them, softness, compassion, gentleness, kindness, husband to wife, wife to husband, children to parents, parents to children, Rif when Nene softness and gentleness so I think that's where that one fits in. All sorts a Muslim and every letter of the law one color color Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam laya for a minute, in Cary hamin hollowcore Ravi Amina Alcala, Hira.

Heidi from Abu hurayrah in Sahih, Muslim, the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said Let not a believing man hate a believing woman. If he finds within her a characteristic a mannerism or a habit

That he dislikes, he will find another that he is pleased with or he will find others that he is pleased with. Where does this fit in, have a think

inshallah tally took some time to think about that one and take the benefits from it. So I believe this fits in the characteristics of the Ideal Husband, that the Ideal Husband doesn't hate his wife, he doesn't he doesn't feel emnity and hatred, even though he will find characteristics that he doesn't like habits that he doesn't like behavior that he doesn't like, at the end of the day. None of us are perfect, except for MBL Rasul Allah Hama salatu salam that Allah gave them, that perfection, the prophets and the messengers alongside that Allah give that perfection to in terms of the way that they deal with their families and the way they behave, you're going to have behaviors

between husband and wife. And to be honest, you can take this also for the, for the wife, as well, you both husband and wife are gonna have behaviors that the other one doesn't like, try to minimize them work together to get rid of them, talk to each other about them, we'll talk about that inshallah, to Allah in the topic of unusual discord and disagreements. Ultimately, if you have something you don't like, you have a lot of things that you do like a lot of other things that you do, like, so there's no need for a person to feel like or you write, for example,

husband, he says, you know that I'm not I'm not happy with my wife, I don't like my wife. And then he mentioned something like salt in the food, she puts too much salt in the food, or she, you know, doesn't listen to me about this small thing, or I don't like the way that she talks in a certain way, or I don't like the way she does this small little things. But if you dislike something, you're going to have loads of other things that you like. So ultimately, it's not for a person to have that kind of hatred or strong dislike for their spouse, because of a behavior that is irritating them or a characteristic that's irritating them, of course, both spouses going to work to get rid of those

work to get over them work to minimize them. But ultimately, they're not going to make that a reason for their marriage to be on shaky ground or on rocky ground because of you know this because of something small a small behavior or a small characteristic that they don't like

our next Heidi's activity, Miss rotarod Allahu anhu. Call. And I'm just going to quote you a part of the Hadeeth here, the original original part of the Hadith in Sahih Muslim but I'm just quoting you apart from from another source of the same Hadith, a human rights ruling, or a more attend to ijebu philia come in early in America. mithila levy ma Ha. So translation of this Hadith, Abdullah,

he said, and the Hadith has a story to it. But we're just going to mention that the part that I want from the Hadeeth whichever man sees another woman is a foreign woman, not his wife and other woman that he is she impresses him, you know, he's attracted to her, she, you know, is alluring to him. Let him go to his family, I let him go and be intimate with his family. I let him go to his wife and satisfy his need. And his desire from his wife, for she has the same as she has.

She has the same as the other one has. Where are we going to fit this in to the characteristics of the Ideal Husband or the ideal wife or the concept of marriage of the Muslim family? It's one may be a little bit of a tricky one to think about how to think about it.

Okay, so maybe how to think about that one. I actually brought this on the topic of beauty.

And the topic of when we said Tonka humara truly auto bar and one of them was Wally Gemma Lee her for her beauty

deja Mallya for her beauty.

So what I wanted to show here is the statement of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam for in America with led the Maha for what is with the first one always with his wife is like, is the same as what is with the other one is that ultimately, if a wife is to beautify herself, and to make an effort, that that will be enough for her husband, that she has what every other woman has, and she shouldn't,

you know, sort of it's not a matter that his wife has to be the most beautiful woman in the whole world. She has what the other one has, at the end of the day, he's going to get the same satisfaction and the same enjoyment and the same benefit that he would get from any other. So what I brought this for is a further clarification on the topic of

Beauty, but she makes an effort she makes the biggest effort she can with with whatever Allah has given her from the beauty that Eliza gel has given her. I wanted to bring this to show that it is enough. And also you could bring it in the topic of the Ideal Husband in the sense of him being satisfied with his wife, and not letting his eye go out to other women. Now, it is natural that a man may walk past a woman, or in these days and Allahumma Stan, he may walk past a picture of a woman that has been through, as we said, Photoshop and whatever else.

And it comes into his heart to our ijebu. He thinks Wow, she's really amazing, beautiful and his heart starts to go like shaytan is pulling him and the prophets I some explain this, like it's like a shapefile. It's like a sheath on that's pulling him that way. What does he do, he goes to his wife,

and he is intimate with her. Because at the end of the day, he will get the same satisfaction.

The his wife has what the other woman has. And so I wanted to highlight this specifically from the point of beauty that a woman shouldn't feel that or Well, I can't satisfy my husband, if he's if I'm not really beautiful, or if I'm not really whatever it might be what people want tool or really whatever people find attractive in a woman. But ultimately, it's not like that. She has everything that she needs to make her husband happy. That's why I wanted to bring it. She has everything she needs she has what every other woman has, she has whatever what she needs, and also from the characteristics of the husband, the Ideal Husband, that he should not let his I wonder if his eye

does without him being delivered without being deliberate settle upon another woman. Let him go to his wife, because he will find satisfaction in that and he will find contentment in that and that will take is that other thing that he saw out of his heart. As is mentioned in the other narrations of this Hadith, our next Hadith, and ebihara Anand Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and no call was stole sobin Nisa for inomata kuliah cotterman lilit were in our cache in Philadelphia either in the hub tetapi Mohawk asalta we're in talk to who Lemmy

is still, so be nice. He hi RA, this Heidi does in party and Muslim from the hydro viharaya from the profit side from there, he said, Be good to your women. Because the woman was created from the rib. And the most bent part of the rib is the highest pot.

If you go trying to straighten it, you will break it. And if you leave it, it'll still be bent, it'll still be crooked. So treat your women. Well. Now I'm going to actually just make a variation here. I'm going to ask you to pause the video and think but I'm going to ask you to bring a characteristic of the ideal wife and the Ideal Husband from this. The ideal wife and I don't see the ideal wife is the one that doesn't have the crookedness of the bedroom because all of them have that DNA that is completely what how Eliza gel created the woman. But what can you take from the ideal wife here? The ideal husband might be easy, but what are you going to take from the ideal wife as

well as the Ideal Husband Have a think?

Okay, inshallah, to Allah, you had to think about that. So, here the Ideal Husband, no doubt is that the husband is one that doesn't try to break his wife, ie, he doesn't try to correct every small fault. Because ultimately, she was created with a certain crooked ness in the sense of that she was created from the bent revenge, she inherited a certain thing in that and ultimately, if you try to correct every small fault, case up to how you will snap the rib, and if you snap the rib, it is a polar, it's divorce your divorce, because you want to correct every little thing in your wife. You want to correct every small tiny little miniature mistake that she makes you want to correct it is

like a person who takes a rib that has a bend in it, and he keeps on trying to make it straight until snap. The ribs broke.

He didn't treat her well. He didn't look after he just ends up splitting from her she ends up miserable he ends up miserable because he's trying to correct every small fault. Instead he looks at what's important and and follow him start with the most important next important

Thought, and he, you know goes about things in that way doesn't try to correct every small, tiny little thing and pull it up on every little thing. As for the characteristic of the ideal wife that we take from this, than I take from this, she does her best to guard her tongue. Because the scholars, they said that the meaning of what in our cheat sheet if you believe that the most crooked part of the rib is the upper part, the scholars said it's the tongue is that sometimes she says things that with a tongue, she doesn't mean. So she might say, to a husband, I'm not seeing any good from you, or it was never good to marry, you've never done anything good for me, and so on. So the

ideal wife tries to reduce the amount of times and minimize the amount of times that she might see something that is not right. Or she might lash out with a tongue or she might hurt her husband with what she says and she tries to minimize that to the absolute minimum possible. That's what I would take on the topic of the ideal wife from that particular Heidi. Our next Heidi's one I shot all the alarm on her and pilot, the killer Rasulullah sallallahu it was send them a hi DJ for 10 hour well to hire faculty. I choose cat our cat Abdullah Kala who be her higher Amina Carla Delany, Allahu Hiram minha I'll just translate the first part of the Hadees Ayesha she said that the Messenger of

Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam mentioned how deja so I had a go at her. I said something bad about her. I said she's an old woman. This and that. Allah has replaced her for you with someone better than her.

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said Allah has never replaced her with better allies never replace for me with better than her luck. I am and it's be haina carefulness. We're Ashleigh kidney family, her hanaa her ramen, Enos was our cleaning lair while at the heart of harmony, whether the idea cool to walleye law, or table caffee her delio

the remainder of the Heidi's Ayesha she said that the Prophet size him said, will lie alone didn't as never replaced her with better. She believed in me, when the people disbelieved in me, she helped me by giving me some of her wealth, when the people didn't give me anything. And Allah gave me children from her, when Allah had not allowed me to have children from others, any of his other wives, I she said, By Allah, I will never any of it because I will never, I will never sort of have a it's kind of like a not a blame. But I will never sort of have a goal at you about after today, or I will never have a goal. I will never say anything like that

to you about after today.

What can we take from this? Have a think?

So actually, there's a lot of benefits you can take from this Hadith, but I wanted to take it from the point of view of the ideal wife. Look at what the prophet system said about it about Khadija, that when all the people didn't believe in him what he believed, when the people didn't help him, how did you help him and that's from the rate, the characteristic I wanted to focus on here is the wife that helps out her husband. Now obviously, that wealth belong to her, the general the love and her and the profit slice and was required to spend upon her, her teacher of the law and actually helped out the profit size and when no one else helped him up. Or when very few people helped him

out Generally, the people they didn't help him or they weren't, they weren't supporting him in anything. And she supported him or the alarm and her analyzer gel gave children through her. So she was when she had many children for the prophet SAW a lot while he was selling them, even though he wasn't able to have children from other than her with the exceptions that we know for later on within this era. And the Likewise, we can take from the statement of Ayesha that she said, and she said I will not you know I'm not going to say anything about her I'm not going to have a goal about her to ever after today. And that that is also from that the characteristics of the ideal wife in

terms of that she shouldn't say anything about a co wife, or anything that would make a husband upset like that or to have to say anything like that. And she should and she admitted her fault while you're low and high. She admitted that she had she had made a mistake about that and she shouldn't have said that. But why she said is because the prophets like some always used to mention Khadija with good and he always used to and used to do a lot for even though

Khadija passed away raviolo on her, he used to even her friends, he would send gifts to her friends. And he would look after her friends, because of how much he had that love for Khadija, and how excellent Khadija was. So this is really a beautiful description of the ideal wife. But I wanted to take from the point of view of supporting a wife supporting her husband, even if it is in the voluntary things like the welfare saw, but really trying to do her very best for her husband and really trying to help him and support him, maybe at the times when nobody else supports him. The next is an idea in which Eliza which I said, well, levena coluna, robina Hubbell and I mean, as Gina

was what reality now kurata Aryan, which I nearly tokina Inanna those who say Our Lord, give us grant us from our wives, or spouses and our offspring, that which will be the pleasure for our eyes. And make us an example for the pace. Here I want you to take, again to the ideal wife, and the Ideal Husband, I'm not going to make it easy for you. So pause the video, have a think

shortly after you pause the video how to think about that. First of all, no doubt, is a beautiful to add for the husband to make for the wife to make that all I give us from our spouses and our offspring, that which is a pleasure for our eyes, from the point of the ideal wife, the Ideal Husband being a pleasure being Korea time for your spouse, that when you look at them, you just you feel satisfied, you feel content. And that doesn't mean that the beauty necessarily beauty might be a part of it. But it also just means when you look at them, you feel 100 that's handling that I'm happy. claret is what makes you I the coolness of your eye, the pleasure of your eye, and also which

I will talk in a man at the both the husband and the spouse should be an Imam as an example. The husband the wife should be an example. For the pious people. The husband should be an exemplary husband. And the wife should be an exemplary wife because one of the meanings of a man is an example for others to follow. So the husband is an example for other husbands to follow his like an exemplary husband. And the wife is an example for other women to follow. She's like an exemplary, and exemplary wife. So we can take that also from the as our next Heidi is the hadith of Thorburn or Viola alarm and the profit sighs I'm in this Hadeeth he said, Leah tukad arducam call Ben Shakira.

Well, he said and Akira was Elijah mina terrane, who Allah Emeril Hara

let one of you take one of you take from this world, a heart that is grateful. And a tongue that remembers Allah and a believing wife that will help him in the matters of his Acura in another narration to arraign who Allah m eyelid de Allah Emery de Nika were juniac that she will help you in matters of your deen and your dunya where do we take or what do we take from this?

So inshallah I'll tell you how to think what we take from this is very simple in the characteristics of the ideal wife is that she is someone who has three characteristics mentioned he or she's moved me now she's a believer. And that means that you know, we really look for the dean first is the dean that matters. And she helps the husband in his art he or she helps him to get closer to Allah as she helps him in his dunya his worldly life, she helps him in his dunya keeping him chaste.

You know, meeting his needs, looking after him and looking after his house and his property and so on. She helps him in his dunya and she helps him to get nearer to Allah subhanaw taala faster from the characteristics and the most important of the characteristics of the ideal wife we said is that a dean? The one who is the woman of religion.

In our next Hadith, our barren minister either water barrel Muna Shaka feminist sadder Alma two sided her ta her fair to a Jew book. What are the books on her? mental her an island Neff, see how ematic

the prophet SAW Selim, he said four things are from happiness. And four things are from misery. So from happiness, and I'm just going to focus on one he said a righteous wife. When you see her, she

impresses you.

And when you are absent from her, you trust her with herself and with your money.

And I'm going to continue the Hadith. The Prophet says I'm just quoting the part of it woman a Shaka and from the roof from misery. almora to Tara fantastic.

Look, what minoli Santa Alec, we're in ellipta unhemmed men, her Island Nevsky halwa, Malik, the Heidi was in a hacking hacking reported it from side of your class. He said from misery is a woman that you look at her. And she makes you feel, you know, she makes you feel horrible. When you look at you just feel terrible. And she carries her tongue against you, and she uses her tongue against you. And when you are absent from her, you don't trust you're not able to trust her with herself or your money.

What can we take from this?

So insha Allah is lots of things to take from this on the ideal wife. First of all, that a woman should be when husband looks at her, he feels pleased with her. And that can be that she takes care of her appearance with the way she behaves. It can be Islam, it can be her all the aspects of the ideal wife, the husband looks anything's at hamdulillah This is the idea, we're so happy with her. And that it's not when he looks at haystack, you know, either she doesn't, she isn't presenting herself nicely. Or she I mean, we said she isn't making the most of what she has, or that she has bad manners, bad characteristics, or she's not worshipping Allah the way that he would want to, she

doesn't have the right characteristic or good manners. And also, this issue of the tongue, that she doesn't she's not a one with a sharp tongue all the time being a husband up, we talked about the husband doesn't hit his wife, we talked about the prophets I sell them didn't hit any servant of his and nor did he hit any way for any woman of his butt suppiler some women beat up their husbands with the tongue. Some women do, I mean, some women, perhaps some women beat up their husbands physically can have that. It's It's so rare, it's very common that there are women that beat up their husbands with their tongue, just the tongue is always against the husband always has something bad to say

about the husband. So this is not from the characteristics of it was just reverse this, sometimes she's gonna say certain things that's natural husband's going to sometimes get angry happens. But generally speaking, she's going to be somebody who controls that tongue and keeps it under control and doesn't keep hitting her husband with it all the time with those words.

And this and the next point that we're going to take is that when the husband is away, he feel safe with her for herself, or covering her hijab and so on. And also with regard to the wealth of the husband, now with the wealth of the husband doesn't mean she's not gonna spend anything she's gonna spend on her needs, according to her husband's given permission and agreed to and so on. But what it means here is that he knows she's not going to squander his wealth. So I'll come back and she's like, Yeah, but this and this, and this, and this, and this, from your wealth is permission and he doesn't know about it, and then all of his wealth or a lot of his wealth or a large amount has gone.

And also he feel safe with her. He trusts her with regard to herself, in terms of a hijab in terms of the way she interacts with other people, and so on. So that's a great benefit that we can take from this, Heidi. Our next study that we're going to take is a Hadeeth in lB hupy from the Heidi Abby Athena, that he said, Hey, Ronnie says yquem illud ella dude Elmo, sia l mu r t. e that Chi in Allah was Rashad Rooney Sir yquem l motorboat rigid l motor high yield at Hoon l monocot. liat colgin netadmin han Illa, mithril halabi, awesome. This very, very worrying Hadith to be honest. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he said the best of your women are the one who is loving and

will bear you many children. The one who is comforting and the one who is tolerant. If she has taqwa of Allah

or if they have Taqwa of Allah, and the worst of your women are the ones who are motivated, reject, they are not covered. And they untie youlet they have arrogance. They are the hypocrites. They will not none of them are not one of them will enter gender except for like the rabbit are some the CRO with the red legs, and it's very rare and extremely rare that one of them will enter gender. So what do you think about this? Where can we put this?

So this is relating to the ideal wife. So we have four characteristics. We have an overlord and widowed we mentioned we have also and more sia and more idea, the one who is comforting to her husband, we've talked about this. She is elitist como la ha she comforts him. She's tolerant, she's easygoing with him. And she has taqwa of Allah. That's the fifth one. She has taqwa of Allah. And also a warning against two things at about Raj, which is not having the proper hijab. And the worst of your women are waterbed rejet while at the bottom

Arjuna terbaru jLj helia don't expose yourself and go out without your hijab, like you used to do in J. Leah, the worst of your women are the ones that are motivated to expose themselves. They're not proper hijab. And we're not just talking about the headscarf, and that's it. Don't get me wrong, we fully understand how difficult the hijab can be, and how much support our sisters in Islam need. And that's a given and the husband should support his wife in that, but it is not, it's not okay. It's not good. It's not like, you know, acceptable that a woman she doesn't keep a proper hijab, and she goes out and adorns herself, either by not keeping a hijab properly or by she wears perfume, or

jewelry or makeup, or whatever it might be. And she goes out like the women used to go out in the time of JD, the professor said sharoni sitecom, the worst of your women. I'll motivate the ones who go out without their proper covering motive high yield at the ones who have that arrogance. They are a monastic class they are the hypocrites and here any the hypocrite he is an effect Amalie sniff UK which is in action and it's not the new FARC which makes you a catheter which makes you a disbeliever. But know that it's us it's a symbol of an ethic layer tool. janetta mean on that LMS Rob Alvarado allow some non will enter Paradise from them except like the CRO, with crude, the Red

Cross with the red legs and the red features. And it's, it's a rarity, that one of them will enter gender a in the first instance

with the people enter gender in the first instance. So Pamela, does have very, very worrying hateth light and we really have to say to our sisters in Islam, take care of your hijab. And I know people are gonna watch this video at different levels and be some sisters, which is starting with their hijab, just struggling maybe, you know, sometimes sometimes not. It's not to say to you that, you know, give up and stop and whatever it is just to understand that it's not an it's not something that's that is easy in the sight of a Lost Planet, Allah. It's not something small in the sight of a Lost Planet, Allah. So we say from this the ideal wife, we had those five characteristics beginning

and also she's very careful about her covering, and also how many women wear hijab and then makeup and perfume and so on. This is also from Thai baht, which Elijah Haley from the exposure exposing themselves like the way of Jamelia. Even if it is less than some of the other examples that we mentioned, then it's still it still falls under that category. So it's very, very important. She takes care of a hijab and that she is humble. And of course that is something that both men and women should aim for and to be humbled to be not to be arrogant and not to have not to have pride.

From the hadith of ebihara while the alarm and higher on Nisa he allottee to Sudoku who is another what will be will either Mr. Waller to Holly foofy NFC hawala, Mally Happy mariacarla, this Hadees, nema artment narrated it. And the moment you say from every horror era, the best of the women are the ones that if you that she makes you happy when you look a Bayes you when you command, and she doesn't go against you with herself or her money in that which he would dislike.

Where we're gonna put this one.

So I shall tell you how to think about it.

This, again, relates to some of the characteristics of the perfect wife, or the ideal wife, the best of the women are the ones that we've mentioned, if you look at her your content, that doesn't mean that she necessarily has to be amazingly beautiful, but she makes effort with her appearance, she does the best she can. And

her manners and her behavior and her religion. When you look at her, you're happy. And when you command her in that which is not disobedient, disturbing Eliza gel, she abased she's obedient in terms of and that we're going to talk about the husband is the head of the household and how the family set out and interactions between the husband and the wife. And she doesn't go against the husband with herself, in her anything relating to herself, who she spends time with, how she dresses, how she behaves. She keeps the self in terms of her chastity and so on, nor her wealth in something a husband would dislike. So as a very there's a lot of characteristics there regarding the

ID wife, some of them we had mentioned before. So that's all we have time for in this episode. And that concludes some of the many Heidi's on this topic. To be honest, we didn't cover all of that Hadeeth nor did we cover all of the app but we just covered what a lot is so gel made easy for us to mention on that topic. In our next episode. We're going to go on to talk about the marriage contract itself and

what that entails and how that is structured. And then later after that we'll go on to talk about the rights of the husband and the rights of the wife. That's what Allah made easy for me to mention Allah knows best. Wa Salatu was Salam ala nabina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi adjmi

as salaam alaikum. If you're enjoying these videos, and you'd like to keep up to date with all of the courses we're going to be running, make sure you head over to am [email protected]