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To Abandon Your Brother For A Year

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Omar Suleiman

Channel: Omar Suleiman

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Everyone said Imani como de la he will go to catalyst now the last LA to summer salon and he was happy Manuela. So just while I'm giving everyone a chance to log on and Chatelet Tanner, want to just remind you all that tomorrow is Giving Tuesday goodnight atana and as you are looking through all of the wonderful organizations and efforts to support the light and I hope that you'll consider your pain inshallah ham did a lot of learning we have come a long way and COVID has forced the team to grow and to meet the demands of the community in the COVID era quite a bit. And as we're making progress in sha Allah tada we really need everyone to continue to support inshallah tada on Giving

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Tuesday with the end of year webathon which we're going to be talking about soon inshallah tada and then of course, on a regular basis so may last panel, God bless you all for your consistent support and reward you And may Allah subhanaw taala make it from your scale of good deeds. All right, let me start inshallah to Allah once again. So smooth out hem de la Sol for some are so lovely. It was like numana so tonight's had eath is actually it's actually a pretty scary Hadeeth and it's not as common as a another Hadeeth that speaks to the same effect speaks to the same issue which is the prohibition of abandoning your brother or sister the prohibition of completely cutting off ties with

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your brother or sister. There are many ahaadeeth that speak about that. And we know very famously that the prophets Allah lahardee, who was sent him said that it is impermissible for a brother or for a Muslim to abandon their brother or sister. For three days up to three days you know, people will have disagreements people will fight people will argue, but it is impermissible to let three days pass without reconciling with your brother or your sister and the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said in another Hadith, that the deeds are presented to Allah subhanaw taala on Monday and Thursday today's Monday and Allah subhana wa tada accepts all of the deeds except for those that are

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quarreling, Allah subhanaw taala says about those two that are calling on little how they need, how to study how to leave off these two, until they reconcile until they fix what is between them. The prophets lie some also mentions this, this idea of the deeds being rejected even in the seasons of Ramadan. And the important seasons that we go through have played where our good deeds are to be presented to a loss of Hannah Montana, that they are prevented, because of our refusal to reconcile with our brothers and sisters. And this is a difficult concept to come to terms with. Number one, I'm going to say because I know that you know I've said very clearly that it's important to not take

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General ahaadeeth and to apply them to very specific or very extreme circumstances This is not referring to where there's a fear of danger, okay, or if there's actually an abusive situation where a person has to actually cut off someone. This is not referring to those extreme situations of harm. This is referring to the disputes that naturally occur between us and our brothers and sisters. And it is very important for us to understand that as we seek to gain closeness to Allah subhanho wa Taala we have to be willing to humble ourselves and to constantly submit our egos to Allah subhana wa tada and do what it takes to gain his pleasure. And one of the hardest things to do is to

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reconcile with someone to reach out to someone after an argument, especially if you feel like that person was more wrong than you. All right. So if two people had, you know, a coral, they had a disagreement, and one of them feels you know, and sometimes both of them in fact, I'd say commonly if not most of the time both parties feel like the other one wronged them more and the other one should apologize first. But you know in this situation here, you decide to be the better person in the sense of initiating salon first initiating the greeting and making sure that you do not allow for that coral to go past the prohibit the prohibited period of three days, Heidel calm and better

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every salon. And so the best of you is the one who begins with Salon the best of you is the one who reaches out first and who who says that, you know, look, I'm looking to reconcile with you. I do not want this anymore. Forgive me.

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And I forgive you. Or you know, whatever it is that's necessary to reestablish that connection to re establish those times so the prophets like some gave us this prohibition this window of three days Now ideally, you don't want to let anything go beyond one day. right because when when we were talking about the Hadith of the Prophet SAW Selim about not saying something today that you'll have to apologize for tomorrow not to kill him because be kilometre tell the Roman hall that don't Don't say things today that you'll have to apologize for tomorrow. A lot of times people don't live to see the second day to reconcile and to seek forgiveness, or to be forgiven. But in this situation, you

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know, the Prophet slicin gave us the prohibited period so try to sleep every night squashing all of those things, it's a good practice and inshallah tight over the next you know, few weeks we'll talk about some of these ahaadeeth about squashing grudges and removing them from our hearts and these ahaadeeth about reconciliation these teeth about narrations. So you should not let it go past a day. That's healthy practice. That's a son. That's excellence. But no matter what don't let it exceed three days. Now, the Hadeeth in question that this particular talk is titled after is another authentic hadith, which is a hadith that the Prophet sallallahu wasallam says, and this is

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authenticated, and was saying that mathema Buddha would also by the moment and learning that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that whoever abandons his brother for a year is like one who spills his blood or is it It is as if he has spilled his blood. Okay, Manhattan, ah, who Cena

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that the one who abandons his brother for a year qsf key dummy he is like the one who spills his blood at that point, it's as if you are spilling that person's blood if you let it go to an entire year. So Pamela, we you know, we live in a time where it is so easy to just cut someone off and say, you know what I'm done. Now we're going to talk to this person again. And, you know, you have this this big gap between three days and then a year right in this headline, and I'm not personally aware of another headline that speaks about a time period between the three days and a year, right. So these are the two specific time periods that are given to us by the prophet sallallahu wasallam. But

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it is very easy, once three days passes a week passes, two weeks passes, that pass a month passes two months pass,

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it becomes easy to just say you know what, I'm just going to, to maintain this until the day of my death, that this is just the person that I'm going to maintain a distance from in the sense that or I'm going to cut off altogether, I'm going to abandon my brother and sister, we're never going to reconcile, you know, and by the way, you don't have to be best friends. That's another part of the headache or another another important extrapolation from some of the Hadeeth. You don't have to be best friends, right? But

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you know, a person says, I'm going to just remain cut off and I'm going to cut this person off for the rest of my life until the day that I die. And you have people that take votes and swear until that person apologizes to me, I'll never apologize to them. You have blood brothers and blood sisters that cut each other off here, the profit slice. And I'm not saying that at that point. If you let this go to an entire year kosofsky dummy he then it is as if you are spilling that person's blood. This speaks to the gravity of it. Because obviously, you know, to spill someone's blood is a great crime in the sight of a loss of habitat, a great sin in the sight of Allah subhanaw taala. And

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one of the things that one of my teachers said about this heavy commerce shiny hospital, Allah, Allah, He said that, you know, one of the things that we take from this headache is also you know, as time goes on, your heart hardens towards your brother or sister. And so you find it easier to violate that person to speak ill of that person to abuse that person with your tongue, right? Think about a person that the wounds still fresh, or if and then think about a person that has become just a memory of a fight. Right. And so you forget all of the good times between you and that person. And you remember them only for that last episode, which is the parting ways that you had with your

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brother or sister. And you you that is the lasting memory and because of that you build an entire attitude towards that person based upon that final Rift. And so the way you speak about that person, the way you remember that person the way you think about that person, and so you've become more violent in your behavior towards that person, as time goes on in disregarding their honor and disregarding their wealth and disregarding their property and disregarding their name and disregarding the reputation disregarding all of that, right. Why because you did not. And I say you and I point to myself first we did not apply the prohibition of the profit slice alone of not

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letting it go past three days. Right. So it went past three days it became prolonged

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It reaches a whole year. Sometimes it goes beyond a year, sometimes it goes to the end of our lives and span a lot. At that point the prophets like Sam says, it is kosofsky dummy as if you are spilling that person's blood. Our good deeds are not being accepted by Allah subhanaw taala, because the good deeds are rejected from a loss of Hannah Montana, so long as we do not do that. And so we're compromising not just our relationship and abusing that person, but we're even compromising our own good deeds. And so many people, you know, wait and wait and wait and wait until death comes right the death of one of them comes and then it's regrets in this life, I should have reconciled, I

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should have made things better. That's how I you know, there's a lot of men that a lot put in our hearts for one another, that sometimes it can be removed altogether. But there's a lot that a lot puts in our heart, put in our hearts for one another, that sometimes you might be really, really angry at someone, but then you hear that they're going through, you know, major illness, okay? Or you hear that something horrible happened to them, right. So you haven't talked to that person for a very long time. And then you hear that they had a car accident, they're in the hospital, they may or may not survive, right, your heart naturally, naturally, most likely, in most situations, your heart

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will soften. And you'll say, you know, kind of allow me like, give them she found me like your them. And I hope that, you know, I hope to make things better. It doesn't have to reach that point, right? Because at the end of the day, one of one of the two, okay is going to be struck before the other with death, which is complete closure of you know, of the gate in this life. And then you have the regret in this life, and then you potentially have the rejection of deeds that has consequences in the hereafter as well. So what do we take from this Hadeeth? Right? Number one, if you can let it not exceed even one day or one night, then that's the best case scenario. If you have an argument,

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and it goes beyond three days, three days, right? or it gets to a point of three days, then squash it within three days. And by the way, keep in mind that the Sahaba did not have text messaging, right? They didn't have you know, these forms of technology or just send a text message and squash it then right it was either to go talk to that person directly or to send them a letter right? Or send a messenger to them, okay, so just keep in mind even the way that communication takes place at that time, in our time of rapid communication. And if it extends beyond that, then seek forgiveness from Allah subhanaw taala tried to squash it as soon as possible, do not let it reach that point of

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a year, where it is even like kosofsky dummy. He like spilling that person's blood, don't let it go beyond that. It is not worth it. It is not worth it. And again, I see some of the comments coming through what about an abusive person? What about harm, this is not talking about harm. This is not talking about a situation where you need to protect yourself. This is talking about a situation where you have two people that are in dispute, you have two people that had a fight that had an argument with one another, the natural types of disputes and disagreements that come about in our lives. And remember that Allah Subhana Allah forgives those that forgive what Yeah, for those for

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whom hello to her. Let them let them part in and show mercy Don't you want a loss of Hannah Montana to show mercy and forgive to show mercy to you and to forgive you? It is a challenge that Allah subhanaw taala gives to us all the time. We don't have to

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you know, we don't have to put ourselves in compromising situations in the sense of physical harm or abuse but this is referring to the willingness to put our egos down for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala when Cal Lena lay what I've seen on us a lot your head with my singing those who swallow their egos, those who swallow their anger, those who forgive people and a loss of hundreds loves the good doers a lot will not let that go to waste a loss of hundreds I will not let that go unrewarded. And so May Allah subhanaw taala forgive all of us may Allah subhanaw taala unite our hearts May Allah subhanho wa Taala remove the pain that he feel from what others have caused towards us and may lost

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pounds or protect us from harming others. May Allah help everyone through their difficult situations may Allah subhana wa tada give us the best of this life and the next And may Allah subhana wa tada forgive us from anything that would remove the blessings of this life and the next Allah I mean, does that come along later on to everyone said armonico Rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh