Habits & Addictions #03 Addictions

something very, very important we need to understand is that whenever we say I'm addicted to something, it means that it is a negative action or negative behavior or a negative substance. We can say I'm addicted to the Quran. Why is that so? Because the Quran is so beneficial. So the word the right word that we should use whenever we say that I'm addicted to the masjid or I'm addicted to the Quran and so on, is rather than addiction is attachment. Believe it or not, neuroscience is telling us that whenever we use the word addiction, even it has a different impact on our brain even even just languaging it So may Allah subhanaw taala grant us the right understanding what we wanted

to do in those episodes is to bring you to the attachment of what Allah has revealed. The attachment to the words of Allah the attachment of the messages the attachment of the Prophet SAW Salem is teaching and take you away from any addictive behavior or substance that could ruin your brain. But I had to Billa and take you further away from the remembrance of Allah subhanho wa Taala as Salaam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh once more my brothers and sisters in Islam this is your brother, where at the Brahim. This is episode three of habits and addictions titled behavioral addictions. Now many times when I talk to people about behavioral addictions, they will ask the following

questions, brother. All what we knew about addictions back then was that it is associated with cocaine with heroin with hard drugs. How could an a behavior turn into addiction? Believe it or not, Cambridge University had run a study back in the days I think the year 2005 or 2006. And they scan the brains of people who confessed that they were addicted to pornography, hardcore pornography on the Internet. And to their surprise, they found that actually, the brains of those who are addicted to pornography, pornography resemble those people who are addicted to cocaine, exactly the same damage in the brain, the shrinkage of the prefrontal cortex, can you imagine this? And this same

study was replicated by an Indonesian lady that I met personally. And I actually traveled to Indonesia to meet the medical team that was looking after the study. And they replicated the same exact, you know, formula of that study of Cambridge in Indonesia on 30. Kids. Now how did they select those 30 kids, it's a very long, boring process that whoever is interested, get in touch in sha Allah, Allah, and I will show you the entire study 15 children were addicted to pornography. When we say children, here is the age of eight all the way to 15 years old. These were the age range, and 15 were pure Alhamdulillah never had access to these content. And to their surprise, they

found the same exact thing. The shrinkage of the prefrontal cortex, leading to what leading to memory, lack of memory retention, can you imagine lack of focus and concentration on the studies.

And these these things are not a theory anymore, or not like ideas anymore? They're established studies. And not just Cambridge, not just the Indonesian team. But now it's throughout the arena of academic who have gone through this study and scanning the brains of those who are addicted to behaviors of that of that sort. In fact, gaming was listed in the World Health Organization as a brain disease.

A brain disease, can you imagine, Patrick Carnes in the 1980s, one of the elites of that subject of addiction behavior, addiction? He when they asked him what what is addiction? He said, It's a brain disease. It changes the entire structure of your brain, that which Allah has given you pure, the main purpose of the religion that means Mikasa the Sharia. This is a subject that we studied the objectives of Sharia why Allah sent

down the Quran, why Allah subhanaw taala sent prophets of 124,000 prophets and messengers was sent to mankind. One of the objectives is to protect your mind

to protect this brain, the one thing that makes us different than animals and other creation, and we ruin it by giving our eyes that arrows the process I've said that gaze is an arrow from the arrows of shaitan why is that? So? Because when you look at that, which is haram, it is captured in the brain for life. The people that I'm counseling today who are addicted to pornography, they always sent me brother as soon as I say, Allahu Akbar,

I see porn,

or they have to be law may Allah protect them. May Allah protect us all. The flashbacks cannot be erased easily. It takes days and months and years sometimes to become well to cope with those addictive behaviors. So don't take it lightly. Don't ever take it lightly.

May Allah subhanaw taala grant us the right understanding I mean, our brand me. So behavior addictions involves now compulsion, not just, you know, the as simple as brushing your teeth anymore. This is something very compulsive, something that goes against your will. You don't want to do it and you will find yourself coming to it again and again. One of the things that we have noticed as a result of behavioral addictions, like being addicted to gaming, social media, or worst of all pornography, is the destruction of relationships.

We have so many wives in particular who are complaining that their husbands don't even attempt to have any intimate relationship with them anymore. And when I start interviewing the husbands out find out that they are addicted to pornography. Now what's the connection? When you give your eyes and brain and hearts and life to something that is absolutely haram? Listen to this very carefully my brothers and sisters since then, a lot takes the halal away from you.

As a result, there is a condition known as porn induced erectile dysfunction. Porn induced erectile dysfunction. People who who are consumed by pornography for many years, they reached a point that the brain conditioned them to attain this this pleasure to attain sexual pleasure through screens and pixels and pictures and images. And when they are with the with the loved ones with their wives, the halal ones, they can function sexually.

And of course, that leads to frustration from both sides, lack of confidence, lack of sexual intimacy between Halal partners, which leads to infidelity, which leads to divorce.

I could go on for forever, my brothers and sisters them and this is this is something that we need to take very, very seriously. I really admire Mufti Ismail Menk, may Allah bless him, who will always push people who are talking about this subject, because he knew that unless we fix those hidden secretive activities that are committed behind closed doors that not much people talking about unless we fix that, how can you create a generation that can worship Allah subhanaw taala properly? How in the world, the average now the average age of people who are addicted to pornography is as young as seven and eight years old.

42 billion visits had occurred on a single pornographic website in the year 2019 42 billion you do the math, we are 7 billion people on planet Earth. Look at this. We can't exclude Muslims, right, we cannot exclude them. So we need to really find those platforms to raise awareness. Otherwise, your children My children, may fall prey to these vices. May Allah subhanaw taala grant us the right understanding I mean, our Brahimi even non Muslims, a person like Christian Jensen, for example, who wrote a book called good pictures, bad pictures, as simple as that. She is a scholar of whatever field in Christianity or whatever else, but you recognize the danger of pictures that are

inappropriate that can actually hook their her children on something for life that can destroy them for life that can impact them for generations to come. And she wrote this book, actually, she wrote two books under the same title, one to be used for young kids, and one for a little bit senior children. And in that introduction, in the introduction of her book, she said a time has come with the question whether my child will see pornography or not, doesn't exist anymore, because they will. They will

stumble across these images, whether you like it or not, unless we develop a system

that can protect our children from accessing these images, they will find it, whether it's on those social media platforms or on hardcore websites, or pop up ads that are designed to recognize kids using devices Subhanallah and go and read the research, they recognize that the user of that device is a kid, then they will send those popup ads that have or include hardcore pornography. And as a result, they can become addicted for life. I have seen someone in particular, like one person in particular, who's been addicted to pornography and other undesirable sexual behaviors for 43 years.

I want you to just imagine, there are people I have a friend of mine who passed away 42 At the age of 42. So it's a lifetime of addiction, a lifetime of addiction. And the reason why he he drowned into this until he divorced his wife or his wife requested for a divorce was that he didn't have the courage to come out and say I have a problem. And the reason why I this is this my own reading to the situation, the reason why he didn't have the courage to say so or to come out and to reach out for help, is that unfortunately our mache or Allah MA or scholars are not giving that platform or not, I'm not calling people to actually come and or maybe they themselves aren't aware of the

harmful impact of these vices.

So let us be absolutely vigilant.

You know, the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam told us that the strong believer is way better and more beloved to Allah subhanaw taala than the week one. So we need we need to really escalate the dose of fighting those temptations, even even when it comes to the halal look at look at how Islam is beautiful Allah subhanaw taala is telling us Kulu has trouble eat and drink while had to sift through but do not go into access. So eat that which is halal, but don't go beyond the limits. Don't keep just eating because it's halal. And drink, drink water drink, orange drink whatever Halal that Allah had provided but don't go beyond the limits on what Allah Allah was walking one day and he saw

one of the companions cutting a piece of meat on his shoulder. And he told him what is this that you're carrying? He said it's the Hey to hire me when I designed it. I looked at it in the shop and I I found it so nice and delicious. So I desired it. He said our color match the height of stripe is it that every time you desire something, you go for it. Look at the level of discipline when it comes to the halal that's why we have Ramadan, Ramadan, all of a sudden, from dawn to sunset water becomes haram.

All of a sudden, your your beloved wife, your beloved husband, from dawn to sunset, becomes haram to touch you know, sexually, all the food all the drinks that Allah made halal. Allah said from dawn to sunset during Ramadan, it's not allowed anymore. Why is that? So to discipline you because if you remained firm 1214 hours without water without food, which is halal. How could you slip in front of the Haram that easily Ramadan was meant to train us to develop those habits that can fight against you know, all these vices and all these addictive behaviors? May Allah Subhana Allah protect us all? I hope and I pray that in sha Allah Allah in the next episode and the remaining ones, we will talk

about strategies now to help us overcome those addictive behaviors in sha Allah so that we can meet Allah subhana that's the goal of these episodes to meet Allah with pure and sound heart. Amina Bonnie Zak Mala Hyland, see you next episode As salam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh