Pleasure and effect
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Channel: Mirza Yawar Baig
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AI Generated Summary ©
The speakers discuss the concept of temporary and permanent relationships, which can lead to temporary and beneficial relationships. They draw attention to negative and harmful actions that occur during marriage, including missing important events and causing negative behavior. The speakers stress the importance of forgiveness and its positive impact on the future. They also mention cultural aspect of marriage and the cultural aspect of Islam.AI Generated Transcript ©
My brothers and sisters,
there is an important thing to remember always,
or the most important thing to remember always,
which is
that
any matter,
anything we do,
the
pleasure of it
or the pain of it
is temporary.
But the effect of it, meaning the effect
of that action
on
us, on our lives,
especially
in
the remains.
In some cases, the effect remains in the
also,
but in the,
the effect remains.
The action,
if it is
if it gives some pleasure,
it may give some pleasure in this life
or if it is painful, it is painful,
but
the effect of the action
remains.
You know, even in this world, if you
look at our lives,
there are things that are
fun to do. They they they they are
really nice to do in the sense of
enjoyment.
But
if you look at the effect of those
things, either
it is
there's no effect, meaning that they are value
neutral
or
they are actually harmful.
One of the simplest ones is, for example,
being with your friends, watching some game or
something,
just before an exam.
Right? Now
watching the game watching the game is some
is fun for those who like to watch
games,
but,
if you are going to do that
before an exam
when really you should be studying,
then you know the I mean, I don't
need to explain that. Right?
And the opposite of that,
studying hard, being disciplined in your life,
especially
with what you eat, especially with physical effort,
exercise, and so on and so forth. All
of this is essentially painful within quotes.
But
it has a longer term effect, which is
always, always, always beneficial.
Muhammad Ali,
the boxer,
he used to say
that
if anyone says I love going to the
gym, he's lying. He said nobody loves going
to the gym. You go to the gym
because you know that otherwise,
the next day you will lose in the
ring.
He's talking about the boxing ring. He said
you go to the gym because you know
that if you if you don't go to
the gym, if you do not work out,
if you do not do your stuff there,
then the next day you are going to
lose in the ring and that's what matters.
The same thing in life.
Our actions have temporary effects and permanent effects.
The temporary effect may be pleasant or or
not, but the permanent effect remains with us.
So for every action that we do,
we need to ask ourselves,
what is the likely permanent effect of this
action?
I want to draw your attention especially to
our relationships with people.
And in that context,
even more especially to the relationship which
is so common.
It is a very negative relationship,
but it is so common
that it is probably safe to say that
at least in Bollywood, in India,
this is the predominant
theme of,
you know, I won't say every movie but
many, many, many movies. And that is
the
toxic relationship
between
a mother-in-law,
father-in-law, and daughter-in-law.
Right?
In our
desi culture, you don't see sons in law
coming in for this.
At least I haven't seen any, but,
daughters in law
any number of times.
Now what amazes me is that, we also
have a culture of arranged marriages.
So
the the ill the illogicality
of it, the complete insanity of it,
somehow doesn't seem to to,
you know, doesn't seem to strike people. That
here is a girl
that these same parents in law,
they went and they chose for their beloved
son.
And
then
when they bring her home, she gets married
to their son, bring her home.
Then they spend the rest of their lives,
touching her.
Right? Physical torture, mental torture.
And the son is a spineless,
you know,
pajama,
who really shouldn't have been married at all.
He should have been sitting,
tied to his brother's apron strings
because he's completely unfit to be married.
If you cannot stand up for your own
wife, then what kind of a man are
you? I mean, you know, you shouldn't be
ashamed to call yourself a man. But, that
is the that is the that is the
reality. Now think about this that
Rasulullah
said that
the dua of the oppressed person
reaches Allah
without any impairment, without
anything to stop it or to slow it
down.
Even if the oppressed person is a non
Muslim, even if the oppressed person is a
Muslim even
if the oppressed person is somebody who does
not believe in Allah
and does not pray to Allah, doesn't worship
Allah.
Even then the dua, the supplication,
the cry of the oppressed person
reaches Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala and Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala will punish the oppressor
even if the oppressor is a Muslim.
This is something which we quite justifiably proudly
say about Islam that justice in Islam is
not person specific.
Justice in Islam is the same for everyone
across
the board
irrespective
of
even irrespective
of whether the person is a Muslim or
a non Muslim.
But it's not a matter of simply saying
something proudly. It's a matter of
demonstrating that, of living by that and demonstrating
that.
And that is where we fall apart. Now
this is something that I said in the
desi culture in the Indo Pakistani, Bangladeshi culture.
This is very common, but maybe it's common
also in other cultures, but please understand it.
That's why I began with
that. The effect, the the the action
is temporary. The effect is permanent.
Think about the worst case scenario on this.
Right? I mean, the absolute worst case scenario,
of course, is the where the,
the daughter-in-law is literally killed.
Right?
And that is a ticket to Jahanam without
any
doubt.
That's a ticket to Jahanam for those who
brought that about.
Absolutely. Without any doubt. But,
even if that doesn't happen,
eventually
she can't suffer anymore, and she gets a
divorce, and she goes away. She gets married
to somebody else,
and she's living happily with the other person,
right, who's not a,
a slime like the earlier one.
And I know cases. I know specific cases
like this where,
she got divorced and she went away and
she's,
living happily with the other person. But remember,
what you did to her
will go into your grave with you, will
be resurrected with you on the day of
judgment,
and will take you into Jahadam on the
day of judgment.
Because
mentioned this very clearly in the hadith. He
said that there will be people who will
come to us on the day of judgement
with good deeds the size of a mountain.
But on that day,
there will be a long line of people
who will demand justice. So Allah
will ask Allah for justice
for what you did to them in this
life.
Right? Now look at the face of your
daughter-in-law
and remember that you will see her face
on the day of judgment.
Standing there before Allah.
And then what did Allah what what did
say? Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will then give
the good deeds of
that individual,
your good deeds
to the one that you oppressed.
Whether it was your daughter-in-law, whether it was
a servant, whether it was your employee, whether
whoever it was, the person you oppressed will
get those good deeds. So remember, every
snide remark you make, every
jibe you you you,
you know, you take at,
that poor girl who has no tongue in
her mouth while she's living in your house.
All the ways different ways. And
some of these people
may have mercy on them. They should have
really been in the,
you know, in the the, concentration camps of
Hitler or something. I mean, they would have
made fantastic torturers. They they come up with,
with creative ways of torturing people. Mental torture,
you know, and and physical torture.
It's it's an absolutely shameful shameful thing to
say that they call themselves Muslims.
So
they will be there and they will be
their good deeds.
All the and
all the holidays
and all the Hajj holidays.
I'm I'm saying this using this term very
deliberately.
Will,
go into the account of that same
poor woman who you tortured.
Right? Even though she stayed with you for
a short period of time, And after that,
she left and she went to it. She
had a beautiful fantastic life with her new
husband.
What you did to her will remain
and you will pay.
Make no mistake.
You will pay and you will pay very
dearly.
And your dear beloved son who did not
stand up for his wife, who allowed that
injustice to continue,
and I've seen some great things. I've seen
people saying to me that, you know,
my husband told me or I I said
to my wife, this is how it is.
You have to take it. I cannot offend
my mother.
Where did you learn this from?
This is not in the Quran. Allah
said, do not obey your parents if they
tell you
Allah said, do not obey them if they
tell you to come and shirk. What is
shirk? Shirk is to worship other than Allah.
Shirk also is to do something which Allah
prohibited.
So if your parents, for example, tell you
to gamble or your parents tell you to
to, drink alcohol, will you do that? So
how come if your parents
are oppressing your wife,
you remain silent?
Said,
if a Muslim sees something
wrong, he must stop it with his hand.
The famous hadith Abu said,
he said he must stop it with his
hand. If he cannot do that with his
tongue, if he cannot do that,
consider that to be the worst thing in
his in his life. Consider that to be
something which is despicable and and hold that
in his heart. And,
that is a sign of the weakness of
your faith.
So how come you even said it?
You brought her. She is your responsibility,
mister Osborne.
Then if you do not have that spine,
if you do not have do not have
that guts, how come you brought her to
your house? How do you how did you
marry her and bring her? You're unfit to
be married.
Seriously, I mean, this is something which is
so common, so widespread. I'm telling you, I'm
saying I'm saying this for your benefit.
Because I I one way I don't want
to see you
standing on the day of judgment, losing all
your good deeds. And as soon as said,
it will come to a point where there
will be people who will lose all their
good deeds and mountain worth of good deeds
will be gone, and and the line of
people they oppressed
will still remain.
And then Allah will say, now what shall
I do? And of course, Allah knows and
people will say, Allah, give
my bad deeds to this person.
And Ravi said, a person will go into
jahanam carrying somebody else's bad deeds.
Fear Allah.
Fear the day when you will meet Allah.
If you have been ill treating
your daughters in law, if you have been
ill treating your employees, if you have been
ill treating your servants,
I have heard, right, in Hyderabad.
Somebody calling a driver.
And if the if the fellow delays in
coming,
and that poor fellow with his head down
Because he is poor, you feel that you
have a right to say all this.
They're asking
the the the the tone, the tone. Right?
We have, like, Arabic, we have a,
in Urdu, we have a language which is
very,
you know, which has a lot of,
respect in it. Right? So if you speak
to somebody, you have to you you speak
to them respectfully.
This is this is true for most Indian
languages. Tamil is the same. Malayalam is the
same.
We don't have this word you. Right? So
we have we don't use the word you
for everything. So it's not a singular. It's
it's a plural.
How many times have you seen
people addressing their servants as aap?
Why don't you say?
Because he's poor.
Literally, you ask him to see
I'm deliberately not translating, but I don't wanna
spread this, evil, but I'm the people, the,
you know, our our Indian and Hindi speaking
people who say these things, they understand what
I'm saying.
Please please please have mercy on yourself.
Have mercy on yourself. Don't don't write your
own
fate in the jahannam.
For you, it's a word. For you, it's
but for Allah,
this is a huge thing. It's a major
thing.
And that poor person, whether it is your
daughter-in-law, whether it's that servant, whether it's a
person, they are lumping it. They are taking
it because they feel helpless. They are powerless.
There's no one to there's no one behind
them,
but a day will come when they will
stand.
And believe me, the same thing applies the
other way around. Husband does the same thing.
I know cases where wives abuse their husband
literally by by foul language.
I know cases where where, you know,
for for the maybe the same reasons. Right?
So what must you do?
Go and apologize.
Call that servant,
call that daughter-in-law,
call that husband, sit down with them, and
tell them I am sincerely sorry. I I
beg you. Please forgive me.
Apologize. Sincerely apologize.
Right? Believe me, no matter how difficult that
might be,
the time before Allah
would be difficult to a degree that I
cannot even imagine.
So no matter how bad it seems,
do it and do it now.
Do it before you drop dead,
or do it before that person drops dead.
Because if that person or you die without
being forgiven,
Rasool said,
Allah will not forgive injustice
until the person to whom that injustice was
done forgives you first.
So seek forgiveness and do it now.
My brothers and sisters, think about this seriously.
Think about this,
that the most important thing that somebody mentions
is in their last
in their last,
you know, advice to people.
What did Rasool Allah SWALLAM mention?
Among the things that he mentioned
in Arafat,
on the
in his last
Hajj. He
said,
be careful, beware
of those people that Allah
has put in your control.
Beware of your women
and those people
who Allah has put in your control.
He said, you have
authority over them
by the will of Allah.
Make sure you give them their rights. Treat
them well. Do not treat do not ill
treat them.
Right? This is the the final advice of
Rasool.
He's talking about treating
the wives
well.
He's talking also about treating employees,
and in those days, they had slaves slaves
well.
What do you think that means for us?
Every single word you use, every single abuse
you use
will come back to you.
And on the day of judgment, it will
become very costly,
very, very costly.
I ask Allah
to save us from ourselves,
and I ask Allah to help us to
which is beneficial for us.
which is beneficial for us.