Channel: Haifaa Younis
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Assalamualaikum Welcome to part two of our virtual lecture series by Dr. Haifa Yunus hosted by the sisters committee of ami, American Muslim Institute and the Omaha Muslim women committee, based in Omaha, Nebraska. Today, Dr. hypha Yunus will be discussing the role of women in modern society in the light of Islam. Dr. Haifa will be taking questions at the end of the lecture, please post your questions in the comment section. This lecture is being broadcasted across various platforms. Please keep questions relevant to the topic at hand. And to introduce our invited speaker, a student of Dr. Haifa sister Hannah Qureshi.
Assalamualaikum It is an honor and my pleasure to introduce our invited speaker Dr. hypha Yunus. Dr. Haifa is an American Board Certified obstetrician and gynecologist with roots from Iraq. She currently practices in St. Louis, Missouri. She is a graduate of Makkah Institute of Islamic Studies and alhuda Quran memorization school in Jeddah Saudi Arabia, where she completed her memorization of the Quran.
After graduation, she moved back to St. Louis where she practices her profession. She is also the founder and chairwoman of gender Institute, and currently teaches seminars on the thematic commentary of various chapters of the Holy Quran, and their practical relevance in our day to day living. Additionally, she offers retreats on key topics that inspire hearts.
I had the pleasure of meeting Dr. heifer last year, and be in some of her gatherings with beautiful sisters in St. Louis. Dr. heifer truly speaks from her heart and she has a special gift from Allah subhanaw taala to move the hearts by her sincerity and dedication in everything she teaches.
One of the biggest takeaways from my experience in her classes is that she brings the knowledge of Quran to life and she will break it down to practical steps that you and I can take in our everyday life to improve ourselves and our relationship with Allah subhanaw taala and his creation. May Allah bless and protect our female scholars like Dr. Haifa Yunus and give us the opportunity to learn and improve ourselves in the path of getting closer to Allah. Without further ado, I would like to welcome Dr. Haifa Eunice to speak to us about women in modern society in the light of Islam.
Sarah Marie Kohler
smilla al hamdu Lillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah while he was a woman Hala Lama alumna myinfo now on fire now vema alum tena indicates me on module we do our Allahumma ninos will become 9 million. lb I have shown I've seen Latisha our do our SMA Robin Allah to Zulu banaba de tener. Or habla Nirmala don't cut off my inaka internal hub, from which rally sundry us Selenium Omri ruffle up the 10 melissani of Gallipoli. JACK ma here it's a beautiful to be again with you does Aquila, Hail the woman of the American Muslim Institute in Omaha, Nebraska and everybody who is involved in this program. It's a pleasure handler Blimey, somebody was asking me yesterday actually.
Do you miss traveling? And and I'm gonna be very honest, I said I do and I don't. Because I used to live a lot. I used to joke with my family and my friends and I was like I live on the plane more than I live on earth because I used to travel and give all these talks so it's palaces the COVID started hamdulillah Hello Blimey, Allah hope and another venue for us to learn which I am finding it's actually is
easier for the sisters especially. However, less the question can be Do you miss meeting sisters? And and that question actually made me think and now once the Sahara was discussing how we met and the answer now is definitely yes. Because when you travel, you get to meet a lot of people Subhanallah a lot of sisters, especially when you give talks and it's amazing. They say we learn from you I respond and I say I learned from your two
women in Islam, women in modern life, a woman as a professional, as a professional person, woman, as a mother woman, as a daughter, woman, as a sister, woman, as a neighbor, woman as a daughter, that has many hats we women, sometimes by choice and most of the time
Without choice we have to carry or we have to, to where and this is very common question always comes in and I would have I should have said in Hindi La La made me remember the first thing is the woman is is actually a servant of Allah Hunter. This is the first role is a servant of Allah subhanho wa Taala then she is for sure a daughter, then most probably she is a wife most probably she's a mother, not everyone but most problem probably professional and I call them professional outside the house or a professional inside the house. And I'm not talking about working from home. I'm talking about being a mother. It's a huge profession. So the common question I get and here I am
asking everyone who are listening to me Put your questions I would love to have this session as Question and Answers things in your mind. So I gave you an idea where is the dilemma?
Where is the issue? And basically is an I always think of the most influential woman in education in Islamic history is actually a say Dasha, may Allah be pleased with her. And she had three hats.
Right? The only hat that she didn't have from what's most of the woman does, she was not a mother, she Allah spawn tada decided for achema for wisdom that he does not give her children. Her name was her kunia or her nickname was Omar Abdullah. Or basically because her nephew is Abdullah Abdullah Abu Zubaydah. He's the daughter of her sister a smart so if you look at the Seder eyes and this is how I want everyone when we start tackling this subject, where do I find the time? How can I be in 24 hours and perfect in every of this?
Where do I start? So I was just
reading a question but let me finish the point of say that I should have come to it in sha Allah. So say that I was the daughter of Satan, Abu Bakar.
And she was a very smart woman, and very strong personality, very strong personality, I highly recommend each woman listening to me today, I want you to go and read the commentary on how this actually what they call it, which is the incident of accusing her which is in store to move in chapter light in the Koran and the commentary on it is actually the Hadith saying she narrated about herself about the whole story. The point I'm trying to make is when you read this you find out how strong this woman was. However, she was also the reader she was the worshipper of a las panatela and that's how that's what he saw to a salon mentioned or described her is the virtue of our show over
all the other woman is like the virtual and he gave an example of food because that's something we see every day is like the most the that time for the Arabs is when you bring meat and and you put with it bread and you put it on to like some kind of a sauce. This is like the highest like now these days we say whatever depends where you live every country has but the point he was trying to make that's her virtue over all the other woman is like the virtue of this food over the rest of the food. The point she was a mother no but she was a auntie. She was the wife of roswaal he saw to Assam she was a leader and most importantly, she was a scholar, the scholar if when anytime you talk
about a scholar offer Stan the first name comes to you anywhere you read. Muslim literature's Islamic literature's non Islamic the name of Asia and, and and how can in his mustard rock he said, quarter of the rulings of Sharia came through Sedaka one quarter of their rulings. Certainly turkey rulings was narrated or came to us through seda Ayesha, so here you go. You come to see the hardanger and you find the wife, the businesswoman, the mother,
the mother, or the children of Rasul Allah saw to serum except one was delivered by Seder Haneda shows a businesswoman that's actually how they came to know each other. And she was the wife of Rasul Allah they saw to a sinner, and before all she was the servant of Allah, that Allah subhanho wa Taala send greetings to her.
Through sadan edubirdie yahagi jenama how to correctly Salam hajah May Allah be pleased with her. Allah is sending you breathing
and you go on
And on and on and on. And I don't want to go into the details of the wives of Roswell resort to summon the woman around the resort, a site or center. inshallah next month, we have our course all dedicated for that one hour a week on a Saturday is dedicated to the pearls around the rush Swati salatu salam. So the first thing I will say to every woman was asked who is listening to me today, put this title.
This is statement say to yourself, because anytime, anytime we believe we can do something,
and we ask Allah to make it easy, it's happens. So I would I and you and I'm talking when I say I mean, all of us. When we look at this dilemma, in life, for as the other word, we use the balance. And we find this difficult, overwhelming impossible. First thing, I'm going to tell myself to change my mindset.
If someone else can do it, I can do it. And this is actually one of the reasons that that actually is the reason number one was for me to memorize the Quran. I looked at my friend, and she was a physician, also, and a mother. And she memorized it. And I said, Well, why can she do it? And I cannot.
So that's number one, change your mindset, I can do it.
I'm sure you're gonna look at me. And it says yeah, saying, there's nothing cheaper than words, it's very easy to say it come to my life and see my home
and see how can I do all this? Number two? And I'm going to give you very practical because there is questions coming in, I want to address them. Number two priority.
This is I can't emphasize emphasize this priority. And number three is efficiency, these two priority and efficiency. I put them separate what do I mean by priority? priority is the following. And I again, I can share it from my life, and everybody will feel it. So when I was in residency doing ob gyn residency, right, where basically, basically we did between 120 to 140 hours per week, per week.
Right? That's where at that time of my life where a lot put me, what does he want from me in that time, how much left? He wants from me the obligations. So if I am doing an OB GYN residency, or if you have five children in the house, or you are studying, that doesn't mean his obligation is going to be less obligations is number one. That's where priority, so I want you to get these two together. priority and efficiency. priority is number one is Allah rulings, obligations, meaning, oh my god, I have too fast. It doesn't matter what I am doing, how busy I am. The five prayers, it doesn't matter what I am doing, or how busy I am.
So the priority means obligations. These are non negotiable. I'm going to keep using some words that I use it in my life also negotiable. Not you know, when you write, and some of you are probably most of you are professionals when you come and you're negotiating a contract, right? And you're gonna say there is things non negotiable, and there's things we'll talk about it. So number one, you're going to tell yourself to bring the balance back, you're going to say the obligations of Allah are non negotiable, meaning my Salah, and I'm not going to say on time meaning when it's when, when the event goes on, that's the best, but I'm going to say in the time, these are non negotiable, whatever
I am doing, whatever I am doing in that time frame, I need to drop it and I go and pray my obligation, my obligation, so priority, priority is your obligation.
Now comes in next so memorizing the Quran, again, I'm going to give you from my life is memorizing the court is memorization of the Quran is an obligation, the answer is no. It's a virtue. Absolutely. It's beautiful. Yes. Is it easy, not. Whoever says that, I will say you have not done it. So when do I do that, this will be less, this will be one. Either I am I decided I am going to be a mother and I'm going to stay home and I will have only one profession. That is motherhood. And when my children starts going to school or these days when they are in their room, doing their school, time and work, that's when I go to the lead not obligation. So priority priority when it is
When it is dinner time, and the food is on the table, and I need to, or children just came and they are hungry, and I need to put the food, that's an obligation, you have to feed them.
And I want you to focus on what I am saying. And gradually we will come in short law to the balance. So, the I need to figure out in the moment I am living, for example, right now, right now I am in and we are all of us in meditation in gathering of learning. Is that something virtuous? Absolutely. Can I do it another time? For me? The answer is no. For you, most of you, best to be in that moment, as long as being in this gathering does not mean you have neglected and obligation.
So, if my child now is crying, my obligation is to go and take care of my child.
But, and then I come back or I will say, you know what, I will get whatever I can get, and then I will look at it later on.
But when there is now coming to the to none obligation.
And this is very important aspect, and I want every woman to look at this, you come to two non obligation because once you have an obligation, the obligation is going to come now you're going to come to non obligation. So you're going to tell me, give me an example, I'll say fine, what is non obligation, non obligation, right? Dinner is done. And I need to clean the kitchen.
Versus I need to go and do my nothing BB
nothing. None obligation.
Voluntary, so and I bring them on board because that's usually very tough, short time and it comes in the time what it is the not these days now for us, for example, but as in a month or two more up comes up, let's say around six and six is the dinner time.
So here I am. If the food is already there, and they are eating an hour and they are done went on obligation, what what Saraswati salatu salam told me finish your food.
Tell your children, let's finish the food quickly. And let's go and pray Marvel and
balance look at in every situation where you are, in every minutes, where you are. What is the obligation for Allah? Not for me and my family? And my work? What is the obligation for Allah? That comes number one. Number two, when you have two non obligations, for example, let's let's take work. So let's take my office, and I see patients and some of some of you are physicians, some of you are teachers, some of you in any profession outside the house. And the whole time comes in, where is the balance?
Am I seeing I'm in the middle of seeing a patient? And the phone goes on Allahu Akbar, should I leave the patient and go and make my Sunnah?
No, because I'm in the middle of it, that patient has arrived upon me,
finished. And that's why we're one of the wisdom. One of the wisdoms of having the center in
a period of time is not only one minute or five minutes, two or three hours, that gives you the freedom and the flexibility to do it. So in every minute, in every time, what is your obligation to Allah? Number one? Where is our problem? And where do we lose the balance?
Number one, and I'm connecting this with the last one, I said, and I said the word efficiency. And I learned this from one of my earliest teachers. And I cannot tell you how much this helped. And he used to saying he was a male teacher. And he used to say, if anything in your life, he's his, his background is physics. So he gave the example from
physics. And he and I had the same question with with everybody. But my question I remember very well was that I feel my work is taking me away from Allah. I remember this was a repeated question. And I remember well, in that frame, what he said, anything that normally takes five jewels, I'm just giving you a number I honestly don't recall the number. Five joules of energy
should be done within five joules of energy and you do it
In 10, or 12, you're wasting your time you're not efficient, you will be overwhelmed, and the balance will be imbalance.
I am a woman, I am a professional. I am a mother. I am a daughter. I'm a wife. I'm Ibiza. I am a last servant. And there's only 24 hours in the day.
So making a salad and you may laugh, but we have to speak. Absolutely very practical. This is reality.
My children love salad, my children love pasta, and they love my pasta.
I want to cook because somebody else's go and order that they said Mom, we want your pasta.
Where is the balance? Number one, cooking the pasta, pasta, rice briyani, any food burger,
you turn to Allah subhanaw taala. And you say Allah, I am doing this to please you. Because I am pleasing my children. And I am making them happy. And every time I make someone happy is an act of worship, I want to see it in my book,
you changed the usual act of mundane daily activity, you just change it, change it by your near by your intention to an act of worship. That's number one. Now the balance is starts going to be so we don't feel
guilty and not spending time for our last pantalla. I'm not giving time for myself to
be efficient, learn to be very efficient. If normally the recipe save 10 minutes cook, then you're going to make it 10 minutes, and you're not going to make it 25 and 30 be efficient. I have to rely on a brand. And this is something we really all women have to be so grateful to Allah that we have the things that helps us. Don't wash the dishes, if you have a dishwasher, put it in the dishwasher. It saves you time. But more importantly, it saves energy and water.
Balance be efficient.
Time for yourself. extremely important.
extremely important. If you do not, as I say this to myself, if I do not resuscitate myself. If I do not inject energy, spiritual and physical to myself, then I cannot do it. Because I'm a human being.
And that's why you see some woman gets anxiety gets overwhelmed, because it's overwhelming. You need and this is very difficult for the woman to say no to certain things is so difficult. And I'm speaking again, as a woman, that we need to ask a lot to make it easy. You need to have a non negotiable time for yourself, not on the expense of the obligation again, or write the obligations or the obligations to Allah, the obligation to your family, the obligation to the job, you signed a contract of 40 hours, it's a 40 hours. That's an obligation. But don't forget yourself in between.
Whether it is I go out for a walk 510 minutes, whether I go for exercise, whether I watch something halaal pleasing to Allah, and I this is my downtime, downtime, that's everybody is different.
But that's how the balance and I want you to live with this verse. Always, always anything we are learning, we go back, as I always say to myself, go back to the source. What did he told me?
And now do the just al Hakim, the wise and carry the strong are off the loving.
What did he tell me?
And what did he tell us? All of us.
And of sort of the end of the chapter of cow the cow which we all know are familiar. Now you can be for Lahu nevsun ilesa.
Allah does not burden us all except what she or he can take.
Allah will not burden so
she or he unless she or he can take. I want you to memorize this. Meaning when you are a mother that means
Allah, Allah, Allah, He the knowledgeable, knows, by his limitless knowledge that you can be a mother.
And when he puts you as a mother, and at the same time as a professional outside, he knows you can do it. And that's why you see, if you look around and just reflect, you see some woman or not
or not, not everybody has the whole hearts. So I have to remind myself, luckily, for long enough sun Ilsa, Allah does not burden a soul. But what it can take for you made me an OB GYN, that means I can do it. If he made me study, that means I can do it.
And again, each one of you goes to your life.
Having said that, back to reality, but sometimes I'm overwhelmed. That's when you turn to him. Him, him, him. Capital, H. Yo, Allah. I know, I can do that. I just don't know how.
This is a form of a body of a worship. A lot of the woman, let alone men, let alone Muslims.
Don't know it's an act of worship. They call it a bother to the siana and esteana. Asking, seeking help, he can avoid. What Yeah, can I stay? You? We worship only you. We worship. Only you. We seek help.
You turn to him.
Your love, make it easy. You wake up in the morning, and you're overwhelmed. I have to be at the office at eight. I have this meeting after juggle my children. I have to do the homework while they're going to eat for dinner. I have to go and check on my mom. I have to there's a meeting a parent teacher meeting all these all these
in that middle of overwhelming thoughts and reality. Don't forget, write that down. Send yourself reminder. Turn to him. Him say you're alive make it easy.
Allow My last name is Tom Santa, your law nothing easy. But what you make it easy. Do you think? Do you think
for a moment, he will not respond to you. You turn to him.
You're saying to nobody can do it except you make it easy? Well, one lady down the hall and I said one line by him. You don't know how things will fall in place. I can share stories from my life about that. And I'm sure each one of you listening to me.
What I am seeing is resonating with her.
Or with him because men also
turn to him. Your Allah make it easy.
And one of the do as we say a lot of many older become that Abdu l castle, your Allah I seek refuge in in you from being lazy or incapable, incapable. Sometimes they will lie, I can do this. And that's why you seek refuge in Him.
So put your priorities, learn obligations from voluntary obligation in this moment, an obligation in that moment, voluntary acts in that one, for example, it's Sunday. It's Sunday, and I am not working. So I have extra hours. Sunday, I'm going to make my Salah. I'm going to make longer. I'm going to read more, because I have time. But Monday when I am in the office, my role will be my obligation. I don't have
if they give me my one hour lunch, the one hour lunch sometimes it's 12 to one that load is not yet even.
Again, I'm speaking to everybody, not everyone has the luxury of putting their schedule.
Then in my office, I am going to be taking five minutes and I'm going to making my cider
versus Saturday or Sunday. If you don't work Saturday, then you have the more I hope I am making it easier for you all priorities. Very important is not what you want. And this is I always remind myself is not what I want and what I like and what I want to be is what he wants from me. He capital H Allah
what he wants from me in that moment.
What he what pleases him in that moment? I think, and please forgive me and I again don't mean anyone. But I think the missing key
in achieving balance in life is we are our relationship with Allah is weak.
And I'm not talking about relationship meaning immediately comes to your mind I'm going to be all the time praying and fasting and and doing nothing in life. No. The relationship being anything I go through in life good or not good. My immediate response number one is to him.
I pass a test Alhamdulillah you made it easy. I failed the law. This is very hard on me. Please make it easy. Make me go through it. That's missing. When we get upset.
First thing we do we don't turn to Allah says your Allah. why this is happening to me, please show me how do I go through it? Normally, text we call people we vent.
We vent we call it.
I say to everyone, vent to Allah.
vent to him and see the result.
Shop, put your priorities, be efficient, be efficient, and the priorities according to the time, the efficient.
Number one and two and three in all this, don't forget Allah in your life. Give yourself time. Give yourself time.
What Allah wants from you what he wants in your book, and mine is in the moment that he puts me in. Did I please him? Did I did? Did I do something that is an act of worship. That's the whole at the end of the day. All my beautiful sisters, when you and me we're going to be in front of Allah Santana, he's not going to ask me.
I he's not going to ask me. I want to see it correctly. Let's put it this way. He is going to ask me, I put you as a mother, how much of the motherhood you made as an act of worship to please me. I made you a teacher. How much of that profession being a teacher you made that act of worship to please me? That's the question. That's the question.
So if I spend eight hours I am teaching which eight or 10 or eight hours in my office or sometimes longer or eight of eight hours in any profession, you change that profession, to act of worship in that profession. I'm not talking about Santa, I'm talking about that profession, your knee your intention you do it in the way pleasing Allah pantalla and the profession itself is not Haram. That's the balance.
You didn't change much that's the balance.
And you need to learn I need to learn to stay say to myself, no. Meaning this note to myself Remember I said no to people, but also no to myself. Right? So today is Sunday.
And I'm again giving an example and I have all this week for example, I have been so tired and overwhelmed. And I literally couldn't get more than five hours of sleep in a day. Sunday Sunday. When for example Today's a beautiful day in St. Louis maybe probably in most of you when my husband took the children out for whatever
my priority after I made my the whole or if it's not the time for Salah is to take a nap because my buddy needs rust not to go and start chit chatting and check my social media priority.
So you say no, you're nervous. You're you won't say quit let me just check this let me just try this. No you need to rust. So discipline, discipline, this gene is Dean of discipline this religion. This religion is a religion of discipline.
Discipline with myself. Me number one discipline with the people around me and before all discipline with Allah who he told me That's why he put certain times for the solder
certain times for the solder. And remember, remember and I will stop here because I there was some questions. Maybe if one of the organizers can put the question on the screen so everybody can read it. Allah will never let you down.
I want you also to memorize this statement. will never, ever let you down and never, ever
Allah will let you down Allah subhanahu wa tada you're doing your best to please Him. You are turning to him all the time you're doing it the way please and he will let you down.
But it will take time. Think always have say the harder I always bring that example to myself when she was alone when she when there was nothing and Allah allowed her to do the say seven times then gave her thumbs up. Couldn't he give her thumbs up right away? Of course he can.
But that's his wisdom. So remember this
if American man want to marry a Muslim woman, what do they do? Do you mean American non Muslim man?
You gave me a nationality? You gave me a religion. So an American Muslim man marrying a Muslim woman? What is the deal? What's the issue? So maybe you have to write it again.
Tell us in light of the Quran, that woman can go out for jobs or should stay at home. Very good question.
When good inserted as a woman should stay at home kindly explain it okay.
this the essence of this Deen and this is factory rolling, everything is hidden. Everything is permissible, unless it is said differently. Stated differently. So all the food is Allah. Allah did not say you can eat apple and you can eat orange and you can drink water now, he only specified the haraam. Watch, we should not eat hurry metallic will make them more sincere. This is also a reminder became a low 40 it's unlawful to you to eat the flesh of a dead animal that who died in a by falling from a height and all the details. So in general, the ruling the ruling is halaal permissible permissibility. I'll also add Eva, that's how they teach you in the essence of the in this deal is
that everything is allowed. So let's come to the
woman working in general, in general, it's helpful, because there's nothing says don't. And I think the system has two completely separate question because ordinary people you know, stay at home, can the woman Work From Home then?
So let's separate these two. So let's come to the work, work. Can the woman work outside the house? There's no s&m there is I need more
what kind of a job?
What kind of a job?
priority is that job is a priority for her for the family. And I always ask this question to patients when I do surgery to the patients and the patients usually or after delivery.
If she's allowed to take time off, right? And I said four to six weeks? Can you afford it? We have to be realistic. And I'm talking about a food thing is not about buying extra stuff. I'm talking about
bringing food on the table. This is a single mother, right? So number one, what kind of job if the job is haram? The answer is no right away. I'm assuming the job is halal is the job is Hello but inside that job. And by the way, this applies to men and woman
Up to now, inside that job there is her arm.
And there's specific things for a woman that's her arm.
Right? My dress code my interaction, my my way of saying things doing things all these three is by me going and working. is it affecting, affecting negatively my children negatively?
That's something only the woman and her husband can decide.
Because there isn't one size fits all.
I have seen physicians very successful martial arts about a colada children. And I have seen woman opted not to work physicians stayed home, took care of her children gets her choice. She said this to me. I want to give them everything I have that's her choice.
So women working outside the house is not categorically halal or category haoran it depends in Surah to the verse that sister Ayesha is talking about what organifi blue tree booth he couldn't without a barrage notable jahai he
welcome no salata. achiness Dakota water in Allahu la Sula in the middle of the Vancouver
to elevate whether the hero content hero cognitively we need to connect that specifically order to the wives of Rasul Allah saw to Sir, we cannot when we study Quran we cannot pick and choose and cut and paste. This is a major issue these days on if he will kikuna this came to the wives of Ross Wallace autosar. There is das Yani sir and we had him in me say in tune, wives of Rasul Allah is AutoSum you are not like any other woman.
In it, the Patria filata Donna will fail to my lead if you call me tomorrow, when you have Taqwa and don't speak in a suggestive way, that the man with a sick heart will have different interest in you. But the ultimate lead if you call him Rob, welcome, Nicola meroofer and speak with with excellence organifi boutique.
Now, having said that, again, don't forget the balance. That doesn't mean I am going out. Well, this is for the wives of Ross, who are a side hustler, so I'm going to be spending most of my time outside, and then my house and my children, I'll get somebody else to take care of them. That's not the balance. We lost the balance.
Here your balance is absolutely, absolutely. Again, what is the obligation? Go back to the rules I put in the beginning? What is the obligation? What's most pleasing to Allah? subhanaw taala? Are you efficient? Can you do it?
Is marriage an obligation? Can a man or a woman stay single? What does it stop say about not pursuing marriage? Very good question. Marriage can be obligation can be
highly recommended, can be held on allowed, can be disliked, can be heard on.
The five rulings apply.
And you're gonna say how is that
it's an obligation absolutely for a man or a woman. If she or he cannot keep themselves chaste.
If the woman or the man cannot keep themselves chased, then the marriage is an obligation.
Recommended is the general ruling. General ruling is that we are not dissolved you. Sally Sato Sam said it to the young men go and get married. And then he say wife, I know us on the third, it will keep your, your your chastity protected.
And if you couldn't see now the allowance if you couldn't find your son,
if you cannot them fast, but it's highly recommended and never had it. He said it's my son. It's my son. Mr. Robinson, at least me and who are whomsoever, shy away from my son is not from me.
Hello allowed, if neither harm nor benefits will be it's your choice. disliked, dislike if the harm is going to be coming on the woman or the man from that marriage is more than the benefits then this is disliked? How long if I am getting married or he is getting married, she or he to harm someone as a revenge or to hurt someone that marriage is how long?
So you would pursue this is what this is my advice I say to all the young who asked me I say look at it.
ask Allah subhanaw taala place the hora every proposal that comes to you ask Allah subhanaw taala to guide you. Ask the people who really cares about you, and wait and take your decision. Don't get married because everybody else is getting married. That's not for Allah. Make your marriage act of worship and bad for Allah to please Him. Marriage comes with a lot of good, a lot of hate but also comes with a lot of responsibilities. So you have to do give up marriage because I can do it. Don't do that. Let Allah decide for you.
inshallah, I answered. What does Islam say about birth control abortion, and dangerous pregnancy? Okay, so three questions in one. What does Islam say about birth control in general? In general, again, if the birth control in all the forms, except one one oil is not allowed is the permanent birth. contraception we call it so tubal ligation or vasectomy for the man are not allowed unless there is a reason but everything else is allowed as long as it does not harm that woman does not harm the woman so she can take birth control tablets. Yes, she can take a patch. Yes, she can take a ring she can put it
2d, all these are allowed as long as it does not harm
can What about abortion in general is not allowed Unless Unless it saves the life of the woman. Dangerous pregnancy. This is very
loose term, what is dangerous? I will say what we say in medicine and in Islam, if the pregnancy in danger, the woman life by the
by by three Muslim physicians who attest to this three Muslim physicians attest that if she gets pregnant, right or even if they are non Muslim, but trustworthy, attest that if she gets pregnant, her life is going to be in danger. The possibility of life death is way higher than absolutely she can terminate. But in general, it is not in general. There is some exceptions also depends on the time, but I'm just giving you general because that's a long question.
I'm a 30 year old unmarried woman I found myself grown used to being alone and have my work classes rhythm. It is it is hard to imagine being married with children. I feel resistance because I finally found balance. Fantastic.
Okay, may Allah be with you, sister.
There is too many I in this question. And this is very nicely written because that's gonna teach us something where there's a lot in this question.
Remember the balance we talked about? Where there's a lot in this question?
Meaning I would have said I'm a 30 year old unmarried woman
allow me to grow up to become alone and allowed me to work look at this the same question allows me to work and take classes.
I know I come because that's weakness. I found it hard to think I can be married and children
and I think it is my weakness that's making me resistant to this. But I don't know this is pleasing to Allah. That's the question
and I'm sure everybody will know the answer now.
What is the answer?
Don't make decision by what you like or you don't like or you think it's difficult or do you think it's not difficult? Let Allah decide for you.
That's why two things in marriage is the hora was to Shara you ask for a law guidance. You pray the Salah to st hora. Every marriage proposal come to you, as long as that's proposal pleasing to Allah.
The major things that please Allah is there, but you are worried. I may not give him his due. Right? I am used to me being alone. I'm afraid I'm not going to obey a lot by taking good care of my husband and my children. That's a genuine because now you're worried you may disobeyed Allah.
Then you say who I am to judge? How do I know? And you beg him? Allah, Allah who and I say this and I'm saying this. Again, you don't need this in books. You live these things in your sujood. When you are putting your forehead on the on the ground, you turn to Allah and says, I want to do what pleases you. Not what pleases me. Like me getting married? Is that what pleases you make it easy. Show me and make it easy and help me if me getting married is not something that would please you. That's not gonna bring me closer to you. You're walking over it.
Let her watch us. And you're going to tell me how this is what I said in the beginning. The balance we lost is our relationship with Allah.
Bring him back to your life, my dear beautiful sisters and whoever is listening to me. Bring him back not only when we need him all the time, all the time. When you say Alhamdulillah is not because it's a habit. Because I really feel Alhamdulillah when I wake up in the morning, I really feel I'm blessed that he gave me another day. The more you bring him in your life in your daily small activities, major decision like the sister question, he will show you don't decide based upon what you like or you don't like what you are worried about or you're afraid or what you like, make a decision based upon what he wants from me.
And how I will be able to know that's my way of working and my efforts are in y direction by how I will be able to know that my work is turning into our worship
Good question. May Allah reward you. Number one, what kind of job you are doing? is the job of pleasing to Allah. Is the job pleasing to Allah not haram? Is the job is halal Hamdulillah, which most of the sisters,
most of you work in a place, right? As long as there is no harm, you're not you're not in a place where they are selling alcohol or pork.
Any how long things without going into the details. That's number one. So the first check, you checked it, this is how you look, look at your work and check these points. Number one that was hella
inside the halaal job, am I doing column
that you only can answer
meaning on disobeying. I'm working and I'm missing my son. That's how long
you left the obligations. While I'm too uncomfortable praying, and everybody will be looking at me Well, I don't wear hijab, how I'm gonna pray at work.
That's what you need to figure out a way. One of the advice I give to one of my friends who doesn't wear hijab, and I said you know what, put in your driveway. Put your son Giada put your hijab time off sada close the door, tell them everybody will know. Five minutes pray. So inside the huddle job, are you disobeying Allah.
And that's a long discussion. And we have to keep looking, examining, asking Allah to show us
you efforts as long it is serving the creation of Allah subhanho wa Taala. Without disobeying Allah. That is something pleasing to Allah, that's General, in general, the trash man, the mailman, the physician, the engineer, the lawyer, is the CEO of the company, each one of these people are serving
something to humanity. So that's your job. As long as there's no harm, the job is not wrong inside that you're not doing harm and you are not because of the job, you are leaving the obligations of Allah. For example, I took off my hijab because I feel very uncomfortable at work. You know what that work became not pleasing to Allah? Because you left the obligation.
Is it obligatory for a woman to give Zakat if you work? There's two, there's no difference humbler? Very good question, there is no difference between men and women in obligations.
zakka obligation doesn't say man only or woman only is a cat obligation. Zakah becomes obligation when two things are they're only two things, you have what we call an nisab, the minimum amount of the money that it is,
which is about equal to,
if I'm remembering well is 80 gram of gold. So it's about like 30 $800 Yanni, I have something in that. So if you have that amount of money, and you solve and each country is different, of course, and then that amount of money, you have it for a whole one year. So in your bank account, let's assume it's 3800. In your bank account, January 1, you had $4,000 January 1, the second year you have it so this is 2020 20 you'll have 4000 in 20 22,020 21 that's why we have you still have 4000 that money is a catchable Absolutely. It's your money, you earned it. It's in your name. And it is what has the minimum amount that poor sucker and one year have passed and yes, you pay for it.
I'm about to graduate from high school martial law and the career path that I am interested in are mostly male dominant. Can you give some advice for moving woman working in male dominant fields? Can you elaborate more?
What do you mean by male dominant? Can you if that's something you can do?
A woman or Muslim woman allowed to serve in the military. What do you do in the military? Go back to the origin. This is very easy. Go back to did the woman went out with a roswaal in salatu salam for fighting the answer is yes. They all fight. No. Some of them did. Yes. Omar Omar, the famous woman who actually
fought and to protect the roswaal inside to Sinan in your head but that's the protector on Swati saw to center that they went with the army with like say Dasha to take care of the wounded. Yes. So in the military, there is no yes and no it depends what do you do in the military.
And if you're talking about here these days in the military these days here, my advice will be no
unless you are a military for example, in but in
In general, I will not recommend it because it is challenging to the woman to the Muslim woman. It's challenging I will say, and I didn't say it's Haram. How can we develop consistency in worshiping Allah? And to turn intentions into regular consistent actions? Very good question. Very good question. Please read it again sisters, all of you. How can we develop consistency in worshiping Allah and turn intentions into regular, consistent actions? Meaning what I just shared with you, some of you may have never heard it or found it very new. How can I make this to become a habit? Basically, how can I make a habit my Salah becomes a habit not habit, meaning I don't feel it but
habits meaning it's absolutely part of my day, I do not struggle anymore. And how do I make when I'm cooking this is for you. Yeah, Allah, when I am inviting friends into my house that's for you, Allah becomes an intention. Simple, this you can apply the non Islamic concept in here, which is a stomach concept. Anything you do consistently for 40 days becomes a habit. You will forget that you will remember your forget you will remember till it becomes a habit. till it becomes keep doing it. Number one, keep doing it. Even even if you forget keep doing it, number one. Number two, use the modern technology to remind you
For example, for the Salah, you have hamdulillah all of us have in the in the phones, and on the other hand, will remind you that there is something called salah
and then you the more the more you number one you are remembered number two, ask Allah to make it easy, Allah, let me get up for Salah please, again, Elijah to esteana. And keep reminding yourself of the intention. Take one action in a time.
For example, you're cooking, right? And these days, we all look for recipes.
Right down, right down on your fridge or on the stove intention, which will remind you and you do it for 14 days, it becomes a habit.
So and it's not easy, but Allah llama settler Illa magenta Hosanna your Allah nothing is easy. But what you make it easy, and then it becomes easy. That becomes easy. And then if I was seeing the beautiful sister, I would have asked what is something in your life? And think of this? What's something in your life? That is now becomes a habit, it became a habit? How does that happen? Look at it and apply it. I think we have two more minutes. Am I right?
Okay, careers like civil engineering, mechanical engineering, architecture. I feel like I have potential to succeed in these careers. But I am worried how I would be viewed in the kind of environment.
Why do you think architect is a male dominant? I would love to have an architect woman.
Every act you do, every profession you do. Ask yourself does woman needs that profession? Meaning will a woman need an architect? Will a woman will need a civil engineering? a civil engineer? The answer is yes. So why do I have this woman go and ask a man for the architect? Why not ask a woman?
architecture is hard and civil engineering is hard on
any kind of electric engineering is hard.
It is more
more men in that field. For many reasons. A lot of the women don't like it. Basically they'll feel for example, when I grew up architecture was mainly men, woman, woman, actually, the most famous architect in the world is actually a woman, Zaha Hadid.
She passed away like two or three years ago, she's actually from my home country. She's from Iraq. So look, if you think it is for you, it's going to be challenging look for something else that please Allah, it's easy for you, but not necessarily. That is is haram. So there isn't something that's absolutely haram for the woman except what is haram at Allah subhanaw taala said some are more for for example, in medicine, of course ob gyn is more pleasing to Allah because you're making the woman not go to man, right? orthopedic surgery is not haram but it is it needs a lot of force and that's why you see mostly men in that. So look at it and you balance it.
I think we are well, yeah, it's four o'clock. Exactly.
I really appreciate Dr. Haifa for your amazing insights into and hopefully we will all get to learn to prioritize what is important to all of us. And that is the worship of Allah and making sure that our every act is part of of worship.
You know, throughout our day, on the behalf of the Muslim Omaha community, we would like to thank Dr. hygienists and the attendance today. It was an honor to host Dr. Haifa. And we sincerely thank her for the knowledge and wisdom she has bestowed upon the owner community and everybody else has two weeks. Yes. Can I can I just because there's two questions.
Yeah, because ideally, this is young, it's very much related to the woman's about
and workplace and I really wanted and
so the question is, one says, must I wear hijab? Or don't go the question must wear hijab, other than prayer in the masjid.
straightforward answer. No, effing. But absolutely, yes. It's an obligation. Absolutely, yes. It's an obligation. I highly recommend all of you. We did the three weeks ago, follow us on our YouTube gender Institute, YouTube. And we have every Tuesday night program seven to eight, two weeks ago, I did one myself with another beautiful young Shahar and we discussed it absolutely is an obligation. Absolutely. Not about solder. It's an obligation. So there was a question about it before, if I can, it's related to it. And if I, here we are, where is it?
Okay, I think
it's about she, I think she's a nurse. And she works in a psychiatry.
Ward. And she was what she wears. Yeah, exactly. Here we go. So in mid comm, I'm learning about Islam in my career, it is unsafe to wear a hijab, often psychiatric patients, attack nurses and staff, would it be acceptable to just wear a hijab only during prayer? The answer is no.
No, I would love to say yes, my beautiful Rebecca. So what is the solution?
What is the solution? And this is why I wanted to answer this because this is very common applicable to a lot of women.
Is this is the only job you can do. You cannot be a nurse anywhere else, except in that psychiatry chord where your life will be in danger. Number two, is the life in danger is probability possibility. Or it's for sure. These are all sucky terms. Because if the answer isn't Yes, then the answer will be you don't wear it when you are with the patients outside the patients who were at.
Can I have another job? Did I turn to Allah spawn tada and says, yo, Allah, I want to please you.
I want to please you, I really need the job. You know, can you please protect me in that job? What do you think about are you?
So Danny, that's why I wanted to choose this question. And I will say this to all my sisters and I say this to myself before anyone else. Don't compromise your deen for dunya don't compromise your religion for this life.
If you always, always put your religion number one, pleasing Allah is number one, one lie, a lie. Allah will give you the impossible. The Impossible. And and now I'm going to share this. It's a real story. And this is when I was in London. And I was I was going to take the test of the highest degree or ob gyn. This is before me coming to the United States. And we had a mock exam the night before.
Right? And the put the the person who was testing us when we were a group of physicians, he looked at me in this words, and he said, You should pass.
You should there should be no reason for you to not pass. If you didn't pass. There's only one reason.
And you can imagine what he said. Of course, I was wearing my hijab. And guess what happened next day, when I went for the test from these five people. We were six or five. There's only two passed. I was one of them.
That's why I'm telling you. Don't let SharePoint for this new
and I always say this to all my beautiful sisters who when you go for interview and people tell you take off your hijab. They will never give you the job. I say
Say to say to them and to yourself before Allah Rasool Allah is the one who gives the job not people
hold on to the rope of Allah we also did
a program Tuesday, three or four weeks ago about the rule of law we need to hold on it my beautiful sisters these days there's so much challenges we are weak I need to hold to something strong to keep me strong. So please don't look at our YouTube follow us on Facebook and Instagram all the social media and also go and visit our website Gen institute.com if you can put it in your way for everybody and there is always we have we have a free things we have things courses that you take it one hour a week, one hour a week you tell me about balance one hour a week and this is only for a woman and that's what what in the introduction we bring the Islamic knowledge to my daily life to my
home and there's two new ones we are starting next month inshallah registration is opened. One is about the woman the poles around the Roswell they sought to sell and what was so special that's why did they were able to do with I cannot do it, how I learned from them to me. And the second one is on a Sunday, both of them are at 9am. So people are still sleeping, you get up for yourself. And the second course that we are offering is since What does this obedience to Allah have will do to me what effect it has on me and my society. And also we have something for the youth See our website and would love to have you on desert market. I would love to do more. But I think we need to stop
new area. Right? So beautiful questions. One thing anybody have a question, you can reach out to me through the website or through Dr. Haifa at Jenna institute.org we also have a group of questions and answers reach out to adamant at gender institute.org or Outreach at gender institute.org basically best is outreach because she takes care of the questions and answers Outreach at gymnastic two.org send your questions every Friday I do questions and answers with the sisters dessicant Allahu Allah Subhana Colombo behind the eyeshadow and like the stuff we will cover today so Allah Allah say no Mohammed Juana and he was hired with the steamer kathira mean to local Okay, thank you
so much for your extra time. Dr. Haifa we really appreciate all the knowledge that you have given us and on the behalf of the Muslim community of Omaha we really appreciate you giving your two weekends to us. Once again, please do not forget to visit gender institute.dot.com or.org excuse me.com is the website doctrine for website questions and answers? Okay, German institute.com is the website if you guys want to join dr hike has other classes other retreats please visit them. I would like to finally thank the sisters committee of ama and Omaha Muslim women committee for organizing this event and hopefully we will look forward to many more to come in the future inshallah. JACK
malachite Thank you so much. Thank you everybody for joining us. Salaam Alaikum everyone