Miscellaneous Aspects Pertaining To Marriage
Channel: Habib Bobat
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hamdulillah al Ameen will aka to deal with Tolkien was Salatu was Salam O Allah.
Honorable Allah respected elders and brothers. In a few minutes that I have been educated inshallah, I'd like to discuss various aspects pertaining to marriage and we'll get straight into it. Firstly, I'd like to discuss personal hygiene and marriage. Secondly, how to budget and thirdly, keeping the home clean and organized. The first aspect as far as personal hygiene is concerned, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam has said, a Porsche toliman cleanliness is half of faith.
Even Mr. Yamamoto lolly is Booker schelotto, Lisa has made mention of incident.
A wife came complaining to say the poverty line.
And she said I want this message to be announced.
I want to divorce I'm not happy any longer with this man.
So say that woman looked at the condition of the husband to shovel, shabby, unkempt beard, you know, nails are very long. So he suggested to the husband, why don't you go home, I'm giving you some time.
You know, get your head well organized. Trim your nails, take a bath and get meticulous become particular with your hygiene.
After some time, see the number of followed up on the case and then quiet from the lady. what's what's what's happening. She said, Oh, my remote money and I'm happy I'm satisfied. I no longer won the divorce.
When husband and wife are newly married, they are extremely meticulous about the personal hygiene. They make sure that they're fresh, they have a fresh breath. The clothes are neat. Both husband and wife are extremely meticulous. But as they settle into the marriage, and as they become informal towards each other, all these amenities tend to fall away. The husband no longer grooms himself, the wife no longer grooms herself. And so you find that these formalities no longer exists in the marriage. And naturally, you lose interest in each other. So personal hygiene is extremely important.
There's a misconception out there. People feel it's a sign of piety to be disheveled. It's a sign of piety to be untidy, it's a sign of piety to wear dirty clothes. Well, there is a misunderstanding. If you study the Sierra and the student of the prophets of Allah Holly send them you realize that the Prophet of Allah was extremely meticulous when it came to personal hygiene, especially as we go into the presentation, inshallah.
The first thing I want to discuss is
to exercise good dental care.
I mean, imagine looking at the same picture with some biryani stuck the or some meat stuffing between the teeth, or is a foul smell emanating? Would your partner want to get close to you.
And allow me to say, when we are single, we get away with a lot of bad hygiene practices. The person doesn't shave, it's to his own detriment. But when a person is married, he can't get away with it any longer. That's because you come you are coming into touch with your partner on two fronts. One on an intimate level. Imagine you are intimate with your partner. And then these these switch offs which I would call the inhibitors that you'll find, then the person will be switched off from you. They don't want to engage in intimacy simply because of one bad habit is found within you. So a foul smell could be off putting for anybody. People have this notion that if you love me, you must accept
me how I saved my multi smelling you must love loving you is one part and your personal hygiene is another part altogether. You don't want to be put off by simple things like these, which a person can do.
So the profitable moment ever he entered the house, he first made this walk.
This is showing regard for the park. This is showing consideration for the person in front of you that I'm coming into contact with my partner. What is my mother's meaning my wife doesn't want to be close to me. You know you reach out to kiss your partner because you think that's the right thing to do. And they say oh, maybe later. So the Tic Tac will do a job
by infinity champion oh but keep something but be meticulous and be conscious about these facts.
Remember, I'm going to be emphasizing on one aspect switch off, switch off, switch off, don't have any switch off in terms of your dress your attire, or your personal hygiene when it comes to marriage.
You don't want to have this situation when you get home. If that's the case, the first thing is to take a shower. Prepare yourself. If you study the life of Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, before he would retire to bed, he would make a boo.
Secondly, he would comb his hair, and certainly would make this work of
pets, setting the scene that's eliminating all the barriers between you and your partner. Now imagine the same scenario. Getting into bed smelling like flour, or smelling like curry, or smelling like the fish just a few minutes ago, will then set the tone for intimacy and romance in the room, or will it just create barriers between you and your partner? And remember one thing, many times people keep quiet about it. And we think it's fine. It's accepted. So my wife won't say anything about my bed hygiene. So it's acceptable. Maybe she tried and she came, she know she tried and she had no luck. So she gives up. I gave up I can't win with you. I've told you enough times. Don't
smoke before you come to bed. I hate the fact that I'm tolerating you smoking is enough, but don't do it. Now. When you're just getting into bed. You think that partner of yours will be interested in getting intimate with you. So it's important that we eliminate all these inhibitors as we get married and settle into the marriage.
The Prophet sallallahu Sallam said mckernon who shall Ukraine who is the narration of a without? If you got hate, then kroombit if you want to keep us loofa and hamdulillah but only
then rather go for the blessing.
The Blessing way of doing it and keep knowing but if you are keeping long hair that groom it, look after your hair. The profit of a loss of a lot is no more sitting invested in numbers.
And a man entered the machine. The shovel was unkept. Hey, and the profitable lawyer indicated Amalia
Kenobi he shadow who does is made don't have a comb or something which you can arrange himself. The profitable law indicated. The men got the message, he went out, he groomed himself and he came back inside and the profit of a large amount. That is this not a better position to be in? Is this not more presentable when you're in a gathering with somebody else? Why do people leave themselves a Jedi like the devil? And this narration is found in Mischka? wasabia.
So acoem is very important to keep
the profitable load regularly.
He would regularly
I mean, this is a given.
We don't even have to be told this. But like I said, You are interacting with your partner on an intimate level.
Don't want these kind of things. Between the two of you.
The profits of a lot sallallahu Sallam said lengthen the beard and shorten the mustache. Having said that,
the shirt the requirement of the beard is it should be one first long after after that if it goes longer than that, in the Sharia requires, or the Sharia allows a person to trim the beard Abdullah normally used to trim his beard after it would exceed a
metre very untidy person
was his beard was extremely long. So he had the beard trimmed. And after the beard was trimmed, he said to the people, why is it that you let your beard grow so wild that it makes you look like a wild animal?
So to practicing the sooner in the sooner way is also useful.
And this incident is mentioned on page 333 of Shama evil Cobra wases in
particular protection is mentioned there.
This is extremely important.
With clean clothes, you don't have to wear expensive clothes. But what you do need to wear is clean clothes because this attracts to this is creating attraction for your partner. When you are need Imagine if I was sitting in front of you and there was a big curry stain here. Probably you'd be looking at the curry stain and not focusing on what I was saying. That is why the Quran says you will notice here and the world back Africa was the year but for
the profit of allies addressed in these verses Allah says only have a long way
are speaking about my greatness. Make sure that your dressing is is up to standard. Make sure that your dress code is proper. Make sure that your clothing is clean the profit of Eliza dress with the Abba Papa here, keep your clothes clean, because you don't want to sit next to a person who's got old,
old, dirty clothes.
So this is basically how a person needs to attract himself towards his partner. This is a given shower daily.
Pay your nails. The profit of a loss and alone is cinema. I want you to just listen to this heavy Allah helper. Look at this hadith and then apply the same Hadith to our lives. Subhana Allah, the prophet of Allah always had these five items with him whether he was at home or whether he was an attorney.
so Hannah law
number two Summa which will apply in your eyes. Number three or
And number five miswak. What does this tell you about the profits hygiene a lot.
He wasn't only a bee in the masjid. He taught us how to lead a life. So in such a way that we don't cause harm to anyone immediate the Prophet of Allah is a leader sitting in front with disheveled hair with a foul smell. What untidy clothes would people take on please message.
So it's not just about being simple. It's also about being meticulous in your dress code and everything else.
Is the incident mentioned the profit or loss of the line is an upset
Oh my Sahaba we are going to meet a group of people, especially Hanako.
I want you to I want you to make sure that your saddles are tidy and I want you to make sure that your dress code is proper. We are going to meet people make sure you are neat and tidy. Had to poo poo Shama to fitness, oh my Sahaba I want you to stand up to the people that people must say these are the convenience of Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam look at the dress code. They are so meticulous, they are so neat. They are so tidy. So the point that I'm driving your brothers and sisters is that there is no shortcut when it comes to personal hygiene. You either put a person off or you create the environment of you coming closer to the person.
Here's a hadith you can end up the first segment on LC luthier boom boom boom intro eurycoma step what is the you know, for him? Nobody is around 11 mil punia falloon evatik facilities.
Oh my Sahaba wash your clothes, take care of your hair. Use the miswak adorn yourself and remain clean. For the children of bunny Salah ill did not do so. And hence the women committed adultery.
It's natural, something that's beautiful and attractive will automatically appealed to me as a human being.
It brings us to the second part of our presentation and that is how to budget
there is a beautiful Hagia Sophia nefa This will myesha
moderation in spending is half of earnings. It's not about how much you make. It's how much you save at the end of the day. I just want to touch on this very quickly we'll go to the section.
moderation means you need to throw the balance. And you can't be on either extremes. The one extreme is you are extremely miserly. And the other extreme is that you spend excessively those are the two extremes. the right path is the middle path moderation. So let's say a person wants to buy a pair of shoes. The one extreme is to spend at ends.
There's some bit wise because after two weeks is going to go by again
and the other extreme spend 3000 rains. So these are the two extremes. The middle path is a camera lens lens that's acceptable. It will give you
a good pair of shoes that will last at least a year or two without any difficulty. So that's what the profit of amaizing throw the balance in your spending. You won't have a problem. You don't want to be extremely stingy nor do you want to be extremely loose with your finances. Be in the middle inshallah.
So don't spend more than what you it's a rule of thumb you know when you walk into the mall 24 months to pay for eight months to pay
36 months to pay and you are tempted. And so you open an account here and you open an account. You don't want a good enough time to pay, but who's focusing on that money?
And that is why many people are working hard not for themselves, but rather to settle the accounts at the end of the month.
So I'm gonna go through this very quickly. I'm not gonna turn to these points because
just one this picture of the takeouts
How much does it cost a family to go out and eat?
Your newly married so maybe 202 153 amulets, but multiply that four times a month or five times a month? How much do you get five times three is one five, times it by 12, you're spending at least at least 15 to 17,000 rounds a year only for two people
that say money can secure your tomorrow tickets if you save up a little more.
You're not looking for extra money, which has been saving you going out for the picnic and hamburgers are not a problem. Why not consider making the meal at home and then going out? You go out shopping for the day? Not a problem. Why not? Why not? Why not get some popcorn from home, it will save you easily 300 point range because if you don't, as you are traveling, let me buy a cola. Let me play with chocolate. Let me grab a crisp 4050 that's gone. Now you go you shopping for a little while you get hungry, let's have some lunch, you spend another 200 300 friends, you come home, you still you get home, you never cooked anything because you left. In the morning without any
preparations. I'll just order another pizza. We spent 500 to 600 in one day.
But take the same example. The man is going out for picnic The man is going out for shopping. But he prepares his own pack person he goes out. He saves himself easily four to 500 ends. So Panama.
The last part of my presentation is about being meticulous in this values of what he has specifically asked me to touch on these aspects. And I did not give it a thought until Malala brought it up to my own attention. And I think it's important maybe something we can consider and give it some serious thought
of this is a well organize the home the image and bring into the house. Usually men when they get into the house, throw the keys on one side to appear on the other side. Could on the other side, soft on the other side, shoes on the other side. And either you waking up
or getting late and you need to get to work early. So you wake up three minutes, four minutes before the time where's my keys? Where's my keys? Where's my shoes? I left my pin day last night. Where is it now? I take the same example a man gets into the house. He puts his talk in one area. He puts his keys in one area, his socks in one area. He's organized. The man wakes up two minutes before the time he doesn't have to panic because he knows exactly where everything is. Likewise with a woman Imagine if there's no electricity now Can you can you work your way around the house without electricity and know exactly where everything is.
Some people are
really the untidy and it doesn't bother them. I was on the radio and somebody called in to say Manila please bring up an issue. I was I was about to embarrass them and try to bring it up. But this quarter says you know banana they are ladies that are coming for Tallinn and they put on a polka DT covers the smell and the onion smell and everything he must tell them that they need to put on perfume when they come in in a gathering of ladies and they must shower etc, etc. So these are things that people are extremely vigilant and people are looking out for even when you're socializing with them.
Keep the kitchen clean, neat and tidy. Firstly be eating at the Indian restaurant.
Make sure you don't walk past the kitchen. You don't want to see what happens. I'm telling you especially in the restaurant, late one on a budget.
To emphasize we've got the halaal aspect of the industry have we not emphasized enough boy? Boy, he means how much of effort that you put in in the preparation of your food in terms of hygiene and everything
else is a given I mean, you must always expect the odd visitor that can pop in anytime. We are the radio station, very meticulous about this because we are connected to other organizations on the same road. A lot of people come to the radio also to use the lavatory. Imagine if they have to walk in into your house or your organization in the laboratory smelling notice, odors etc. The person will be put off, these are your father and your mother didn't come to visit you
Yo, please imagine your father using your mother, your mother in law or your father in law using your laboratory, what impression Are you giving them as a husband or a wife?
for newly married couples, there'll be a lot of intimate way etc. And let's be frank about it. You don't want your father coming to your house and witness in intimate way or the washing line. If that is the case, try and hide the intimate way. Try and make sure that these things are not in public eye. Especially if you live in a block of flats. People can see from the windows and then they speculate you know you know what's happening. So rather cover cover these things these are basically Islam teaches us to not inconvenience people and lastly, I'm not going to go through each of these but if you open it, close it if you turn it on, turn it off, if you unlock it, lock it, if you break
it admittedly you can't fix it for someone who cares if you broke it, return it, etc, etc. These are basic teachings of life. It's the small things in becomes big things in the start irking the person and irritates them most. Bless us all, and give us the ability to be meticulous people in life in Sha