Tap into your potential – 18.09.2014

salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

Certainly mama family Welcome to

on the radio Islam international reviews Thursday morning to the end, it is our time to speak to what are the least camisa inshallah Aziz? Yes, we look forward to this time of the week we will speak to you this way about different issues of social nature and different things that we can learn from how to manage our lives now to look at different issues that are facing us and Shanna Aziz, if there are any questions, any queries, anything we'd like to discuss Muslim come to SMS, Whatsapp 0731738461, and you can call in as well 118541548. And, inshallah, we'll be joined by this camisa on the line that says check. If he is the easiest way Assalamualaikum.

Mathias, I'm just getting hold of him on the line inshallah. And as soon as we have him, we will speak to him as he is. And

he has this one issue that, in fact, I've been asked to comment about as part of a high school project in Rustenburg, and that is the issue of drugs and social networking tracks in social media, and doing a little bit of research and a little bit of background information into the topic of drugs and social media. We know that drugs, intoxicants, all types of marijuana, cocaine, and all the new design drugs, that we are finding something that basically alters our nature, and then social networking is sad, SMS, Whatsapp, Facebook, Twitter, those are the basics, then you go on to different

platforms, Instagram, and all the rest. Now

you have

you have these different issues from time to time. And now we have social networking that is on one side and together with it is drugs on the other side. And what is the link between the two and there's one

you know, sort of excavate the other and there was in a survey that was to be taken that teams regularly using social networking sites are likelier to smoke, drink and use practices in 2011 survey took place in America to check with us camisa and Medina Somali communities where they

cannot yet a but we'll get hold of him in the next few minutes. Chad will be calling the service and trying to get hold of him.

The article says that American teens ages 12 to 17 oil typical days spent any time on social networking sites at increased risk of smoking, drinking and drug use. And

for the first time this year survey past 12 to 17 year olds wherever they spend time on Facebook, Myspace or other social networking sites have a difficult day 70% of teens report spending time on social networking sites have difficulty compared to 30% of teens who say they do not 17 million of that age group so 12 to 17 on social networking, and then, compared to the teams that spend no time on social networking sites in difficulty vs teams, who do spend time on social networking of five times likely to use tobacco, three times likely to use alcohol twice as likely to use marijuana. And

the survey found that 40% of all teens surveyed have seen pictures on Facebook, MySpace and other social networking sites have kids getting drunk passed out or using drugs. Half of teens have seen pictures of kids and passed out to using drugs on Facebook or other social networking sites. First saw such pictures when we were 13 years of age and younger 40% of the more than 90% first saw such pictures when they were 15 or younger. And compared to teams that have never seen pictures of kids getting drunk fast out to using drugs on social networking sites. In that have seen these images are three times likely to use alcohol four times likely it is marijuana, four times likely to be able to

get marijuana almost three times likely to be able to get controlled prescription drugs without a prescription and more than twice as likely to be able to get alcohol in a day or less much likely at a friends and classmates to abuse illegal and prescription drugs and

this is the effect of

The availability of increase in drugs due to social networking.

Looking at the different TV programs, the survey explored teen TV viewing habits in relation to teen substance abuse. One third of themes it's 32% watch in reality shows like jersey shore teen mom or 16 and pregnant or teen dramas like the cost of clothing typical week. Compared to teens who do not watch suggestive teen programming teams would typically typically watch one or more such programs per week at twice as likely to use tobacco almost twice as likely to use alcohol. More than one and a half times likelier to use marijuana are twice as likely to be able to get marijuana within a day or less, more than one and a half times likely to be able to get prescription drugs without a

prescription within a day or less. And the founder and chairman of the survey

of visiting companies have the relationship of social networking sites, site images of good drunk faster using drugs and are suggestive in programming to increase the risk of substance abuse of a script grotesque confirmation of the adage that a picture is worth 1000 words. This is the reality of mental perceptions out of touch with reality. 87% of parents said they think spending time on social networking sites does not make it more likely the child will drink alcohol 89% of parents felt it would not make the child more likely to use drugs and then

come to the issues of cyber bullying and substance abuse and that

is when kids the cyber bullied meaning someone posts something mean or embarrassing about them on social networking sites. Now compared to teams who are not cyber bullied teens who have been cyber bullied or more than twice as likely to use tobacco, alcohol and marijuana.

Okay, so I'm hearing something in the background. So perhaps we have you spam the 90 days pass and armonico

the library to my beloved respected mowlana very well from the electoral college is very good to have you once again on program and we'd think frantically to get hold of you

at the Joburg airport, I'm playing that column A little later. And so anyway, but anyway, I'm glad Yogi did not give up on me.

hamdulillah shocker. It's a pleasure to have you on the program is always intrigued by

you are in Joburg for some work, I'm sure none I came here

specifically to do some counseling men you know,

there is a family needed my help. So I came in and again back today in our team yesterday.

Okay, Mashallah, I've been asked to comment part of a high school project about the relationship between the social networking and drug abuse. And I went into a little bit of research and found the survey. And the results are quite shocking to see what how much of influence social networking actually has on drugs and how much it influences children to take drugs makes the availability of drugs easier, and makes those who are more involved in social networking, more likely to become drug abusers.

You know, what, molana I am not surprised. Because what you got to understand that, you know, when you are involved with social media on a regular basis, you tend to be more courageous and audacious. You know, when you are seeing and doing things, even the totals changes you are you lower your God. And and you have no idea who you're really talking to. Are you talking to a persona I talking to someone that is genuine, you know, concerns? And so they influence some very, very great and, and there was a time when the parents were the single most important influence in a child's life. And now the parents know that diminish because the unbridle you know, involvement with our children on

social media. It can is it's not an anesthetic is not something that you can ignore. It's a real real challenge.

And, you know, last week we spoke about drugs and what the family who has to deal with the drug addict. And one of the things that is imperative is that, look, social media is not bad in itself. And the person can use it responsibly, but if they find that somebody who somebody has become involved in drug abuse,

And is becoming an etic. Now for it to be rehabilitation, one of the main points is that you have to cut off all

links with social media and all opportunities to indulge in social media, I think

you find even informal social media, it's also has become an addiction is become a real, real addiction. And when you want to give up drugs willingly, you've got to not only cut off ties, in terms of their social media, but also from your circle of people that you meet on a daily basis, who also aid and encourage you to participate in this. And so it's a whole range of things and one and I you know what, I'm telling you, this of us and our parents to be very, very attentive and to understand that this is a good show. This is a real Scourge in our community, as there are many, many things that are a scourge in our community. And we need to recognize this such that I don't

want parents to have blind faith in the children. So the so short, you are saying and I'm so glad you are touching on such a pertinent and relevant issue about social media. And it's something that even adults find it very, very hard to desist from. They slip to the phone as if it is the wife, and the wife is relegated to the background. And not to say our sister is also innocent of this habit that is really intruding into the lives and lives of our children.

Which is why if you look at this one, just the one survey,

it says that teens whose parents don't agree completely with each other on what to say to the teen about drug use are more than three times likely to use marijuana and three and a half times likelier to expect to try drugs in the future than teens whose parents agree, agree completely. And what to say about drug use rates means that parents need to have a united stance when it comes to drug use. And they have to both and here Alhamdulillah in Muslim homes, they wouldn't be a conflict of ideas, and also about drinking and alcohol because our rules are straight in and they are single in thought is that whatever intoxicated is completely Haram. You know what one or not this is in keeping with a

survey that was done some time ago with the interviewed a number of teenagers. And they asked him a question, what a topic that you'd like your parents to speak to you about. And amongst the topics was that they wanted the parents to talk about issues of gender, issues of drugs, controversial issues, they wanted to speak to them about it. Because if you are not going to give them the right information in a wholesome, practical way, then they'll get it from those people that are only concerned about you sneering the hearts and minds of our children. And I've seen it repeatedly. When kids hearts, I'm read by other individuals in terms of their sexuality in terms of the drug

addiction, really, you know, their parents slipped up their arms, I mean, the military go men. And these children who are innocent young people born into this world are not become liable to become charmers. They would sell whatever furniture they got to get the next

as it were, a addiction, you know, fulfillment. So it's a huge, huge, huge issue is not something that is minimal, is not something isolated, as I said is the scourge. So I think the sub very, very important thing that we are really talking about you know,

just welcome our listeners to our program once again, performance after 11 you're listening to our master record big time international My name is tenacious and my guest this morning it is camisa and we discussing social networking and drugs. And if there's anything that you'd like to contribute to Muslim to call, call 18541548 You can also SMS 0731738461

Produced by the VA The other aspect of it is when the similarity of social media and drugs we we have this emotion the sort of feeling that I'm going to miss out if I don't check my latest status many street monitors Facebook post I'm just gonna feel like I missed out on a whole lot so makes us naturally addicted to social media to our mobile phones.

And the type of addiction is almost the same as the addiction that the person can have objects, you know, at the mall. And that is so true that to

this social media, inactive 24 seven. Now therefore you find the young boys and girls, and even legends who go to school to go to work very, very tight. They prefer the social media interaction. They regard every bit of attempted conversation on the part of the parents as an intrusion, because whilst the perils of talking to them, their prime concern is a you know what I need to look at the message I sent a message, or what is the response. And this is something that we have to discuss, and have to deal with it. So, therefore, one of the, you know, as I'm not saying it's a panacea or a cure, but the whole issue that we need to bear in mind, is the fact that we need to develop a, you

know, a daily routine in our home, a routine where time is spent face to face conversation, time is spent connecting, loving each other.

Sorry to interrupt you in a via caller waiting on the line, can we take the caller? Yes, please. Assalamualaikum warahmatullah

wabarakatuh, our firm's getting into a moment where

you're talking on the subject of drugs, when it's

seen on the personal network on Facebook, there is a loss of mega local translation from activities taking place on the 24th from six to 9pm, or something.

Can you just repeat? Can you just repeat that post?

Alone, then the data local drug Action Committee,

apparently there's going to be an election or something of that sort on the 21st of September. And I think it would be important is

our alumni could attend and maybe you know, get on board is even reasonable, the size you can attend in. I know you're situated in Devon, but maybe if we can come in, maybe advise the people the ways

on how to go about

it. The everyday problem is not only affecting teenagers that we think, I mean, it's affecting a lot of adults as well.

Yes, yes. Yes. Yes. You know, what, Mom, will Allah bless you for that call? And I what you saying is important, you know, people that are stakeholders, or printing makers in the community, must get involved in civil society, to advise people, but I'm sure the organization itself has got reliable people authority there, but we need to become conversant with it. Otherwise, you'll be like an ostrich in denial, thinking that everything is hunky dory, you know, and just Mullah for your for

as long as you can give one comment before I go, is it okay for us to welcome

the person you are what you're saying is there are people capable,

that are going to be honest. But the thing is, there are a lot of organizations doing the same look and operating under their own bodies, or whatever it is. Trust is a community thing. And it's affecting everybody, whether you be Muslim into Christian temple, or whatever race or religion you are. And I think from each organization, organizations can send people there that can be nominated onto their cell phones, everybody's working for the same goal and the same focus. So at the end of the release, the same destination legacy was happening, everybody is working on their own. I just want one thing I'd like to mention initiative is by the community, social development, Housing,

Community Social Development settings, it is important that

we not to say that only those

invitations have been sent out to the relevant people but I think the religious body should also get involved in this so know your your what you're what you're saying is strange. There are many listeners today do Islam and I pray that they would listen because the variety the impacts on people, different walks of life, different ideologies and religion, and we need because it's a disease that is affecting the community is something finishes. And you know, I feel sorry for the victims of these things, both parents and the children involved. So I think we need to support it. We need to guide it, we need to get involved with them and as a collective inshallah do something

about it.

Like when I was hearing, Brother Mohammed, and to the rest of the listeners, you're most welcome to call in as well and you can SMS 0731173846

I'm calling 911854154. It is just gone to 1130 we need to take a short break inshallah we'll come back to our discussion after that. Stay tuned to our master lady Sam the national

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Welcome back to mashreq on Radio snam International it's 27 minutes before 12. Welcome to our guest, the Idris camisa. It is very the yes I'm yalumba Lila.

We were discussing drugs and social networking, we spoke about how drugs are how social networking influences the spread of drugs, influences people to start taking drugs, and makes it more convenient and easy to source drugs. And also the similarities between social networking and drug abuse as well.

If you could choose wisely anything else in this particular topic that we need to touch on,

we see one of the big issue that I find that I'm dealing with at the moment. And it emanates a lot also from the same personal environmental social media, our addiction to it is that we do not have enough exposure to face to face conversation people. And as a result of that, when we do get married, we lacked the social skills were totally incompetent, both in terms of attitude in terms of the language itself, and our approach. And this really is something that is frightening. And you find that inevitably what happens

sometimes a lot of it can be attributed to that. And therefore I want parents as a whole, they must, they should develop in the children a very healthy self esteem. And self esteem is the recognition that you are a unique creation of Allah. Allah has made everyone different, but you are a perfect creation of Allah. And you have the capacity to do good. Therefore we look in the mirror I see ally many beautiful outside, ultimately beautiful inside. The reason I'm saying that, that many people, many people today because of the only insecurity insecurities what they become in a relationship, they become control freaks. You know, it often happens when the wife wants to completely control the

husband. He seems to be you know, biting your nails every time and speculating about why. You know a husband is as come late or whatever, whatever whatever. I'm not seeing much of blind faith. But then when you become a control freak, then what happens? You frustrate your spouse but you also have children themselves when you try to control them in that way. Almost you're smarter than men as a result that you they have to respond to your own insecurities which is unfair, and therefore it is very polished fundamental. They may never give

Make a value judgment about another person. You ask yourself, what is it is it because my eyes are tainted? Is it because of my life experiences? Is it because my own suspicious nature is it because my nature, I'm an insecure person, or that I have a low self esteem. And so the social media has really created that because what happens today, many people keep on looking at the profiles to boost what they think it is self esteem, is that boosting the self esteem and boosting the ego, because in the end, what is important it is your landscape, what goes on in your mind you project on the outside, and what he does when you are suspicious when you're looking at two people talking, you

think they may be talking about you, and this is something really has become a huge, huge disease. And I deal with this to natural issues that deal with the issue of parent child relationship.

And this is a sort of

suspicion, the suspicion of people always being on, or you always being on the receiving end of an attacker on the receiving end of people's conversation and people's cost of energy is it's a feeling that we have. And it's unfortunate that

we have developed that type of sensitivity to

it will show right? It's like this, let us say I come home, and my wife is on the phone. Now then I there, why should I think who she's speaking to? And why why should that come to my mind? And she tells me, okay, as I spoke to my mother, then I have been I think maybe she spoke about me as what he spoke to her about,

you know, I just find that ridiculous. I know, it's very, very important. Of course, of course, naturally, you when you have genuine reasons,

to feel suspicious when you have genuine or authentic reasons. For something there has been a history and catalog, understand initially, but you also need to restore the confidence, you need to regain the trust, that's another matter altogether. But it cannot be that anytime and every time this has happened. And you jump to conclusions, because this is as Muslims, we're not supposed to speculate, you're not supposed to be suspicious. Yes, if you are uncomfortable of the fact that you know,

that your husband is regularly talking to someone over there and and for reasons better known to yourself, then you discuss it nicely, we talk about it, you know, otherwise, you know, what happened is this, in the end, a suspicion can erode relationship, suspicion can be at a tipping point. And that all of that is often related not to empirical evidence, but related to more or to your own insecurities and low self esteem.

And when also a linked type of of a discussion is is Bayes net.

And people who would take drug sometimes take it for this very reason that they have this low self esteem and drugs sort of remove the inhibitions that they have, and they now suddenly become confident they suddenly become

positive, and an extrovert we would, they would normally be very quiet and reserved. that's beside the point. You see what happens when people see blood, he does not enhance his self esteem, to give them a false sense of security and a false sense of confidence. But man see addicted to it, then what happens that addiction, that even a innocent action on the part of the parents intention to do good for him, they view it to suspicions you feel you know what they're gonna take me lock me up to take me to prison, they're going to do all kinds of things. Now, what you are doing, you are hallucinating because of your addiction to it, which has the opposite effect, it might give you

initially a sense of bravado, you know, it gives you the courage that you never had before, but suddenly what happens you are keep on taking it. And once you become addicted, once you become part of your bloodstream, then sadly, it has the opposite effect. It impacts negatively your your self esteem becomes even lower, you indulge in self pity, intelligent suspicion, and you know, you look at your parents also that way.

You know you understand? So this is important.

just changing the topic completely and you know

Including the topic of drugs and social networking. Another discussion that came up recently is the discussion of entertainment in Islam. And while we know that Islam doesn't forbid, entertainment, obviously, there are certain things that we can do that are

definitely permissible. And there's many things that within Sharia boundaries, it is possible for us to do. But

the discussion was that perhaps we could outline some things that people could be interested in. You know, monana, I'm so glad that you are discussing the issues, and I interact with lots and lots of young people. And you find that, you know, sadly, many of us are totally unaware. Maybe it's our naivety, perhaps we tried to find out what is permissible, because you know, to the youth, we tell them all the time, everything is haram, Haram, Haram, Haram, everything is haram. And as a result, they don't know what is Helen. And I think we need to understand that you need to understand there are some things that are valid, and we need to enjoy those allow things with them, we need to

participate, we may we must create in them a love for the holiday things from the time our children, even from the fetus they are and they come into the world, they exposed to all the halaal Entertainment, it become an integral part of it. Now, if you're going to come there, the kids are born, they come into this world, they are bludgeoned with the television, with all kinds of things going on all kinds of media instruments being played or whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever. They grew up for that day heavy stuff. And they suddenly you have to wean them off that it becomes very, very difficult. And if you were to ask the youth today, ask them exactly, they'll tell you, you

know, that tell you just do not understand us. We're not saying the youth is simply not saying that we want to put pressure on adults, because it is the adults that come into the world, and the first tears that shouldn't come across I adult. So I think he's a fundamental thing that we need to speak about. And we need to create a situation for halaal Entertainment, that children enjoy themselves with unbridled joy with those things, and they have a love for it. And this allows things also inspires them to come closer to the dean makes them understand and show gratitude to Allah and help them also in social interaction in team building, and a whole range of things.

And,

you know, when it comes to halal entertainment, there are many, many opportunities, avenues that we can look at, that we can explore. And that we can suggest, even to people so that they could entertain themselves, yet keep it within the bounds of the Sharia. Yes, to add, they can do that. I mean, I ask people desire people journey as a family, what are some of the rituals? What are some things I'll do together as a family? What are some of the outings you go for? What are some of the places you go for entertainment? And you'll be shocked, will be shocked. Many of them say no, the kids do the only thing we don't think we don't really go out together? And how do you spell Sundays?

No, I, most of the time, they are sleeping, I'm sleeping, whatever. And this is almost like a non functional family, a family that is dysfunctional, where they are totally biological connection living under the same roof. There is no emotional or spiritual connection. So at the end, and then and there are many, many things that can be done. And and I think it's important for us to explore that. And I'm glad for example, they are organizations also try to do something for the youth, you know, and within the bounds of Sharia, and they do these things. Because in the end, like all individuals, you cannot only develop purely the cognitive development or your mind. You also need

your love your body. You need to develop yourself emotionally, morally, socially. So these important things

is just gone quarter to 12. So this means you missed the international community summit. And so my name is Juanita said my guest this morning is camisa. And the topic we are exploring now is halaal Entertainment, and the different avenues that we have to keep ourselves busy. Like we feel like we need to keep ourselves busy all the time, and how to do that in a Sharia compliant way. We'll take a short break now you're most welcome to SMS your suggestions and ideas to 0731738461 and we'll discuss them on our program after the break. Stay tuned.

me

welcome back to my second lady Sam international welcome told guests for the GS camisa, the last segment of our program, and we are speaking about halaal entertainment in Islam. The general

idea that we have or if we've understood from the hadith of Rasulullah sallallahu despite his swimming, archery horseriding a wrestling that used to take place in the time of Rasulullah sallallahu Allison, it was common practice in the time of Rasulullah sallallahu sallam. And those are the most glitches, the best types of recreation activities that we can participate in.

And I know there is a brother in Durban who has really rekindle the love for archery there. And I know, I also made some forays into into AWS writing when I was younger, alum rely very exhilarating, until one day, I think the last hour or two hours.

You know, and it is fun enough, I was writing assuming it's such a wonderful sport, because it's an extending itself, you can just jump in the water, enjoy yourself for hours on end, these are things that we need to encourage our children, you'll find today that our kids are so weak, I mean, the only muscles in the body, you know, that develop other fingers. And who would be cell phones and that's also orthopedic surgeons are very concerned about the long term effects of it, and terms of how we leverage a little later. And these are things that are available to us. And also I mean, the thing is this thing to good Nasheed artists who remind you to create a new a deep deep love for

newbies allow us sell them a creativity and love for Allah, Who remind you about your purpose, who remind you about global issues? Alhamdulillah we need to do that because otherwise our kids, I suppose, you know, I remember the the lead singer of Rolling Stones.

His name is Mick Jagger, when he was interviewed many, many years ago by Richard Branson, who was the editor of a magazine. He asked him this question, tell me your songs have an impact on the listener. You know what he said? He said, he said the chorus or the refrain that we use goes directly into his heart. So they knew the impact of entertainment, the kind of words they would use, to manipulate to entice to seduce. So I think it's important that as you rightly indicated, money is the future.

physical

aspects. The other is the aesthetic aspect, the other is a spiritual aspect. And even in order to have liquor, liquor itself is something that is done. I know, in some homes, liquor is done so beautifully the whole family participates. And the long term effect of it is so great. So we need to do those things you know, and even, like, great for Halloween for picnic, and a number three creation, because entertainment also is equal to recreation and we must do all of these things.

It is by coming to the last few minutes of our program, something with regards to what you have been counseling over the last week and we haven't got a chance to go into those issues, maybe some of the cases that you've been dealing with, you know, manana I am convinced, I am convinced today that one of the a, you know, besides when you when you are doing pre marital counseling, I think a very, very critical question is to understand the temperament of the other. Because anger is something that is poison, it can destroy a relationship. A word that is spoken, can harm and damage our Nabi sallallahu wasallam reminders for words to break the cobwebs to big heart of a believer. And I find

that sometimes, that when couples, some of them have issues of temperament, that things to be fair, before you get married, the parents should indicate to them, you know, My son has this issue, my daughter has this issue, we are dealing with it or whatever, I think it's important that you want to hide it for how long can you hide it, a person's true policies must manifest itself, the anger is one. The other aspect is also critical, far as I'm concerned is to share you know, elements of the past that can have an impact on the relationship now. So when Christina asked about Did you have any relationships or the people that stood must be shared, right naturally in that, diverging so many

details, and to speak about, you know, that the person moved on, nothing is important. I mean, you know, really the other day and Allah bless his parents, his parents phoned me up, and he said to me, you know, rather, you know, I have a daughter, just, whatever years old, and, you know, I interact with the community. If I know of a man that please You know, I'm looking at the tears of a father also concerned about his daughter, and that's, that's also of concern. So, we need to give our kids

a degree of exposure within the parameters. So, they are in essence, where they are a people get to know that whose daughter she is and so on and so forth. And the last point that is also very critical is that parents you know, they must have a clear understanding what the children that only when a situation becomes a move moving towards a little seriousness not all the CDs as yet share that with us we need help and we will help you and and and what is also dismantling sometimes when terrorists begin to in their geniusness interfere in the relationship of the kids that are in the men

Hmm, it is very

it brings us to the end of our program now and just like last season to you for your time this morning sitting in the airport and waiting for your flight empty in Shama will speak to you next week. inshallah Allah, Allah Allah Allah protect you and also ritual a ritual everyone to look after your home or mama no matter look after, after the Shiva valina

hit in the desert and I want to

just go in six minutes 12 seconds Zealand to my studio later this morning. She can do you for listening to the ladies time International. We'll be back with your Monday from Geneva surface Ramallah Kumara