Sacred truths #01 – Do this in your relationships

Ali Hammuda

Channel: Ali Hammuda

Series:

Episode Notes

share this pageShare Page

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:00--> 00:00:00

Pre

00:00:09--> 00:00:11

shuffled wondering what we're going to do today yeah

00:00:13--> 00:00:27

just here there's some leaflets. Yes. There's an angling fishing area around here. Yeah, we've been fishing before never never been fishing. I love fishing. Yeah. And was thinking you can go fishing have you? I mean, I'm assuming you just get some beans

00:00:29--> 00:00:30

have a look in the fridge

00:00:32--> 00:00:56

I'm looking for live here because you don't live be I've found that usually is much more effective fish bite that module. So I'm thinking of frogs. Frogs. Yeah, that's bait. Yeah. Really effective. I mean, the do you think oh, I was supposed to kill for us. Mostly because they say you shouldn't kill a Fox Valley kids. They have their position. Yeah. jority they don't like wow. knew that. Okay.

00:00:57--> 00:01:02

She's interesting. Share this story. Actually, I mentioned about frogs. My uncle once told me a story.

00:01:04--> 00:01:08

I know it's silly. But it was really amusing. I've just come to

00:01:12--> 00:01:15

know these frogs that are going through a forest once you know, just jumping over the fence.

00:01:17--> 00:01:23

Just plain wrong. And they didn't realize what they're playing. There was like a deep pit nearby.

00:01:24--> 00:01:42

Jumping around messing about a couple of them fell into the pit. And it's so deep, they couldn't jump back out again. And they were scrambling and jumping, getting frustrated panicking. They couldn't get out. Their friends came to the edge carefully and peered into the pit and they said

00:01:44--> 00:02:03

that's not looking good for you guys. This is too deep. You're never gonna go. Unless it just wasn't give up. No way. No one can jump out. It's not you little frogs. Yeah. And one other one of the frogs heard what they said. He got so disheartened. That's it over for me, I'm never going to go.

00:02:05--> 00:02:06

And he just basically led backwards.

00:02:08--> 00:02:09

Waiting for the guy. Yeah.

00:02:11--> 00:02:18

But the other frog who was with him? Yeah. Despite what his friends were saying, or his predicament.

00:02:19--> 00:02:47

He was just getting mosey on. He was jumping more and he was trying harder. And he was keeping going and I'm gonna get off here. And they were looking down and St. Lucie doing because there's no point there's no point and there's no shouting down, give up. You're wasting your energy. But the he had this zeal inside of him. And he one point crouch down, got ready. And then he thrust himself up. And somehow he was able to get the edge of the pit and scrambled was way out.

00:02:48--> 00:03:04

Approximately, wow, what happened there? Yeah, I mean, what made you keep on going? And you're looking at them. He's looking a bit confused views. And then he started smiling. And you go, thank you guys. If it wasn't for you? Yeah, I would have

00:03:06--> 00:03:12

I would have given up. I'll give it up. And they are looking confused. telling you to give up and he's going, sorry.

00:03:13--> 00:03:27

I'm deaf. I can't actually hear what you're saying. So happy that you stayed there looking at me and helping encouraged me to get out. So he misunderstood their discouragement or encouragement. Yeah, he thought they were saying good words to you. That was the funny thing.

00:03:28--> 00:03:28

Okay.

00:03:29--> 00:03:32

Apart from the fact that the follow up is supposed to be that

00:03:34--> 00:03:48

eloquence. Pick the story apart is obviously told to kids and so forth. Yeah. And no, I mean, it's okay. I mean, we have examples of the principal and action can be no like he did say, Well, only Nursey personnel speak to people with good words.

00:03:49--> 00:04:34

And what's interesting Subhanallah is that the Arabic word that was used for good in this area is Hausner. So the idea translates as speak to people good words. What is even more interesting is that there's another reason citation, Hamza Kisatchie, that they recite this idea as Hashanah. So there's a small variation in Arabic speak to people with goodness, that's how it translates now. So speak to people with good words versus speak to people with goodness, you put those two together. So the first pre citation describes what should be said content. Secondary citation describes how it should be set manner. I'm sure you've heard of the idiom of Sticks and stones may hurt my bones but words

00:04:34--> 00:04:57

will never break me. That kind of goes against it. It does. I don't think it's accurate. words they do cause so much pain, you know, immense pain, and we know this through experiences of life. We know this through ye revelation. I mean, just think about it with words. We become Muslims right with a word a person can leave the religion of Islam.

00:04:58--> 00:05:00

What other examples I

00:05:00--> 00:05:27

mean marriages with one word, a person becomes highlighted for you. And then those moments of intimacy are like an act of worship. And then with another word, the word of divorce, this person becomes a complete stranger. And then those moments of intimacy are, fornication is a major sin. That's just through words. And that's why the Prophet SAW I said them he said in the famous Hadith in an Abda kala mobile Kenny met him in Madrid Manila, he met up La Habra, Muir found

00:05:29--> 00:05:40

that a person may utter a word which pleases Allah subhanaw taala so much without him realizing its weight, and Allah raises him to very high degrees.

00:05:41--> 00:05:59

And then on the other side of the Hadith, he said in an Abdullah the Kela mobile Kenya met him in cerca de la Hila Utila darlin, yeah, we'd be happy to have them. And similarly, someone may utter a word, which displeases Allah, without giving it much thought. And because of it, he just plummeted to help.

00:06:01--> 00:06:13

And I'm sure you'll agree with me like if you were to survey the majority of the inmates of health, if that was possible, what was it that has caused your suffering here? I would say that the majority will trace it back to

00:06:16--> 00:06:24

something they had said. And in fact, when the Prophet SAW Selim himself was asked the question, what is it that causes people to enter?

00:06:25--> 00:06:51

Paradise most? Do you remember what he said that Allah hospital, the Taqwa of Allah, consciousness of Allah, and good manners? And then they said to him, what causes people to go into hell the most? And he said, I'll femoral welfare, meaning mouth speech, and the private parts. These things take people to help the most speech and the private ones.

00:06:52--> 00:07:20

Now, if you were to think about, you know, the sheer amount of people we interact with in our lives, I mean, who are they we have believers on believers, pious people, rebellious people, Stingy people, generous, calm, angered, humble, arrogant. This Quran, this Quranic principle is of is of the essence, because we can apply it 10s or hundreds of times a day. So who would you say is the worthiness of all people when it comes to applying this principle to

00:07:23--> 00:07:37

parents, parents, nobody before parents, Allah said while adacko Lahoma off don't even say to them off well that and horrible man don't even disrespect them. What will Omar golden Karima but address them with words of honor.

00:07:38--> 00:08:01

And the famous incident of Abdullah him now when his mom called him he responded with a loud voice just a little bit louder than has he decided to repent to Allah and He freed two slaves hoping Allah with forgiven. So Mum and Dad, another group of people who deserve our application of this principle on them is our spouses. It's just so sad maybe you agree to see someone

00:08:02--> 00:08:31

angel of Nicean public counselor sympathetic with everyone you know, tiptoeing doesn't want to offend people and talking but when he gets home or when she gets home, so different persona, penny pinching, miser, harsh, foul mouthed, like a demon for the man Michelle Kenny, he said that so many people fall into this calamity cathedral and mean and nyako nests with he has to heat water by so many people fall into this trap. He goes

00:08:32--> 00:08:55

photographer to either Latvia Allah who can us onesie was Jarwin nevsun. Why? He says that you you see a person who meets his wife. After meeting people, they have the worst manners. They become so daring. Least in goodness. And then he says what you love the early Middle Atlantic but when he meets strangers, right he softens up.

00:08:56--> 00:09:05

His his mood improves. He becomes generous and his goodness amplifies. And then email Michelle Kenny he says that

00:09:06--> 00:09:10

lash EQ anamod Kanika Lika Hawa mahal moto feel

00:09:11--> 00:09:13

a person who does this

00:09:14--> 00:09:17

he's been deprived of success and help from Allah.

00:09:19--> 00:09:29

And so he's gone astray from the street path and he says we ask Allah to protect us from that we ask Allah to protect us from that. Clay Docomo humiliate me, isn't it the famous Hadith? Well, I definitely recommend

00:09:30--> 00:09:36

the best of you are those who are best to their wives and I am the best towards my wives.

00:09:38--> 00:09:51

So again, who are the worthiness of people who deserve this principle? When we are exercising it we said mom and dad we said it husband and wife that's not just husband towards wife, by the way, are you nurse? Yeah, Adam will

00:09:52--> 00:09:59

prophesy us and it was asked who does a woman Oh, the greatest rights to he said her husband. Then he was asked a question.

00:10:00--> 00:10:13

And who does a man are the greatest Ryan's to? He said his mother. So Mum and Dad, wife husband who else who deserved this principle were only nasty husband speak to people with good words.

00:10:15--> 00:10:15

There was a need

00:10:17--> 00:10:46

people will have needs of us. It could be a financial need it could be knowledge it could be advised time remember what I'm gonna set you left for that and how Allah says as for those who ask of you, don't repel him. Don't disparage you could be advising it could be time money. If you find yourself unable to help we turn them away using the kindness of words speak to people with good words.

00:10:48--> 00:10:54

So Mum and Dad, Wife Husband those in need those who are senior to us.

00:10:55--> 00:11:25

That's in your seniority could be by way of knowledge could be by way of age. Again, when addressing them, we address them with the finest let's let you send me an MLM ug let KB Aruna welcome sorry, Rana YRF, the IE me now who he who does not honor the elders, for profit. So I sent him said, it's not amongst us, nor shows mercy to the younger ones, and does not give our scholars of their rights. He says these three categories they're not from amongst us.

00:11:26--> 00:11:43

So now that we've kind of looked at some of the most deserving people, when it comes to the application of this principle, speak to people good words, should also address maybe some of the circumstances when people are most prone to forgetting this principle of speaking to people with good ones.

00:11:45--> 00:11:57

What about when on the receiving end of the insult? Shall we you and I've been there? Right? That's a key time to remember speak to people with good words for either for the homage or you don't shenana Elijah?

00:11:58--> 00:12:07

praising his true servants. He said that they are the ones whom when the ignorant people address them harshly, they respond with words of peace.

00:12:08--> 00:12:31

Your man was shabby, I think you and I've discussed this one before as well. Where you know he was insulted. You know, shagging, the famous scholar of Hadith, right? And he said to him that it couldn't do cannot alter Fatah for Allah who then became a contributor for Allah who that if I am as you say, I am May Allah forgive me. But if I am not as you say I am that May Allah forgive you.

00:12:32--> 00:12:42

And a man said to Leonardo da that local Wahida Asha if you were to insult me just once, you're going to hear 10

00:12:43--> 00:13:10

He said to him Allah He local Dasha, NASA Mandela, I swear if you insulted me 10 times, you wouldn't even hear one response from me. It's amazing. I think really, the way to look at that is just to realize that you know, we have so much on our minds as Muslims, we have the journey to Allah, working towards the home of the Hereafter, the heart should not find room to store these types of results.

00:13:11--> 00:13:36

We don't have the time to kind of mull over these things. They see life that Muslim we wish and see lives like a marketplace. And in the end of that marketplace, some people walk away they've made a profit. Other people leave me the loss. So they have no time to waste. They speak to people with good words. So that's a key time I think we need to remember that this principle more prone to forgetting it when being insulted. Also, when joking

00:13:38--> 00:13:55

the purpose of a joke or an Arabic they call it Musa then if you've heard of this one before, it's the idea is to lighten the atmosphere. You're supposed to bring joy, not sadness, embarrassment, friction. If it does that, then it's no longer a joke. It's so Korea. It's mockery.

00:13:57--> 00:14:23

The Companions they said the prophets I send them that era sunnah Allah in NACA Tada a modal Messenger of Allah, you joke with us. Right? He said, Yeah, in the law, who in the hardcover I only speak the truth. So his jokes, were free from mockery. There's no lying. There's no poop scaring others. There's no excessiveness, you know, so even his jokes, they honored the principle of speak to people with good lives.

00:14:24--> 00:14:28

A third circumstance I think it's really important to remember when

00:14:29--> 00:14:53

we can forget this principle is when we disagree over a matter, Islamic or otherwise, by the way, it doesn't matter. You know, universal Salafi. He said that I've never seen a man as wise as a Shafi we disagreed once over a matter, you fell out over a matter. Then we met him he held my head, and he said, Father of Musa, can we not be brothers? Even if we disagree over a maximum?

00:14:54--> 00:14:56

Can we still be brothers even if we disagree?

00:14:57--> 00:14:59

These are meant by that I think this is how a man

00:15:00--> 00:15:01

input should be presented

00:15:02--> 00:15:25

restraint and to see the bigger picture and the man with the heavy comments on that incident I just shared with you and he said this just indicates how wholesome the mind of enamel Shafi was and how deep his knowledge was for Mozilla and Novara reform because peers, they will always differ, appears they will always differ.

00:15:28--> 00:15:48

Anyway, I mean, you know, the famous Hadith maybe we'll kind of round off with this prophets I send them who said that, in paradise there are rooms whose outside is visible from it's inside, it's inside is also visible from its outside an Arab Bedouin. He said, Who do they belong to a messenger of Allah. He said, Imagine

00:15:49--> 00:16:09

a global column for atomic bomb, where a dama cm or Celebi lovely lady, when I saw you, they are the ones who are best in speech. Look, he started with that, in another narration, those who are most gentle in speech, and those who distribute food, those who fast regularly and those who pray and when people are asleep.

00:16:12--> 00:16:46

I believe that if you agree or not, that most of the differences that take place between us are rarely due to issues are difficult to resolve, but simply owing to the manner in which one expressed himself poor choice of wording poor choice of tone, poor choice of context, most of the disasters of life and the afterlife can be evaded by just evoking this Quranic principle before our very expression Partnership does offer mercy little story regarding

00:16:47--> 00:16:48

I still want to go fishing

00:16:58--> 00:17:00

or being happy

00:17:03--> 00:17:04

being help when as

00:17:06--> 00:17:06

one

00:17:09--> 00:17:10

son

00:17:12--> 00:17:15

obey shield oh, oh.

00:17:17--> 00:17:18

Well go

00:17:20--> 00:17:24

follow up on hold it up on Oh,

00:17:25--> 00:17:26

nice. Yeah.

00:17:27--> 00:17:32

Phil Oh, one is Selena Hooton Mozila