Seerah Halaqah Episode 5
Channel: Adnan Rajeh
File Size: 54.95MB
Allah to Allah, we continue with the seal of the prophets of Allah Holly, are you looking to sell them? So far, what I've shared with you
the events of maybe the first 15 years of his life on his salatu salam, and the point of, of taking some time to talk about that, meaning not starting the story right from when Gibreel came, for example, and going to the end, is that it's important in my opinion that you get some context. Regarding his life, it gives thought to his son to know what the world was like before he was born. And we spent maybe a lesson or two on that. And then also to understand what circumstances he was born in out of your thoughts, and what experiences were a part of defining who he was. Each and every one of us have, has a story, a unique story that helps define who we are, you are the sum of
your experiences, the ones that you consciously and cognitively was at work was a part of me you chose you, you had the choice to kind of do them or not, and the experiences that you didn't, they were just that that was the hand that was dealt to you whether you like liked it or not. And the problem it is thought that was similar. There are certain aspects of his life that he didn't choose. That's just how he, where he was born, and who he was born to. And certain things that happened. And he made some choices out of his thoughts, wisdom, as well, growing up and understanding them all helps us understand who he was, what you're going to find about him it installed to a certain is
that he was the type of person that threw himself at life. Meaning he wasn't the type of person who sat around and waited for things to happen. He would go out, and he would experience life. And he would have experiences and do things. And sometimes it would work out, sometimes it didn't. But he will learn from them or they can start to wisdom. And the reason we know that is not just from his early stage life, no, because he continued to live like that, for the rest of his life, at least a lot to us. And you see that in how he approached spreading Islam. He didn't back down from from from something new from a new experience or a new thought or a new idea, or a new adventure. He didn't he
didn't step down. He always he actually is the one who came up with with ideas that no one would think of. And I'll point that out to you throughout the steel, it's very easy actually journey, you'll see that when we talked about publishing, we talked about the hunt duck, when we talk about, he would do things that people didn't even think of. And if they thought of it, they would dismiss it. Because it's an insane idea. No one does that. But he would do it out of here salatu salam. And I think that's important to know, that's a part of his personality. And I think that was really what allowed him to pick up and learn so much. Within the short period of time that he had with those 40
years, he was extremely wise out of his salatu salam because he took on every experience. And he and he allowed it to sink in. And he actually he soaked it all up on a hillside. And I learned, so we look to quickly summarize,
he looked at five different homes. Within the first eight years of his life. There's a lot of instability, by the way, moving from one place to the other. He observed the loyalty of his mother.
He enjoyed the wisdom and the staff as a grandfather, right? He worked at a young age because people thought him did not have the ability to support him, there was too many children in the home. So he worked at a shepherd and dealing with animals and sheep specifically teaches you
to be very empathetic and compassionate, because it's very difficult to deal with with animals. And it also forces you to think in this sense of gathering because animals tend to do wonders. So that was how he, you know, after doing that, for seven years, you just had this mentality of always wanting to bring things together. And that was an important part of his personality. Later on, he is so twisted up, then he worked as a businessman as a merchant. And that required him to travel a bit out of your slot doors and deal with people from different backgrounds with different
tongues and different accents. And when you're a salesperson, when you're buying and selling and you're trying to make a living, you learn how people are and you learn when they're truthful. And when they're lying to you, when they're trying to rip you off. You figure it out, you learn to read people, and that's a very, very important
skill to have having good judgment of character.
I don't know how you're gonna you can pick that up. I actually actually looked into this for a long time in my lifetime. Because I think it's important to be a good judge of character. How do you have good judgment of people's character so you don't end up being ripped off a lot in life? And I tried to learn it and I failed, and I continue to get ripped off and so will you. And that's fine. That's just a part of life. I think the only way you learn is you get ripped off a number of enough times that you'll figure out the signs. But being a salesperson that's going to happen in terms of frequency, it's gonna happen a lot every day someone's trying to sell the product as awesome learned
how to deal with people. You need to be someone who's going to succeed and buying and selling you also have to have good manners. You also have to be diplomatic know how to talk talk to people. So you picked up all these
ozada HIV Salatu was Salam.
Two other things that occurred within the next maybe 10 years of his life on HIV Salatu was Salam, something called healthful football occurred.
Helpful for the whole health is when there's a treating, or there's an alliance, or at least allegiance, all those rules are correct. But the people of Makkah, they decided to put together a health where all the tribes that had previously been at war would come together and agree to do something, which is anyone, if anyone is mistreated, if anyone has a Muslim, everyone is oppressed, then this group, this health would work towards bringing that back to the meat make sure that they are they are served justice. And he said he talks about Alia Salatu was Salam. He said hello to
helfen and Abdullah hypnotoad. And
now do a TV Oh, no, they were at Elaine Elementary, medieval Islam law jumped. I attended a peace treaty that was signed at the house of Allah had been Medina, Emile Karachi. It was one of the soldiers of Croatia and one of the leaders of polish. And he in his house, he brought people together all of the heads of the different tribes that did not get along. And he had them all sign a treaty, and sign an agreement that if anyone comes asking for someone, if someone comes claiming that they were mistreated, or that there's an injustice that occurred to them in Mecca, that we would all work together to make sure this person was taken care of. And the reason this happened is
that the Sadat of college deleted many leaders within the tribes of flourish.
They had enough status and enough power to rip people off. They could easily just just dismiss people who are demanding their rights are demanding something that they had agreed to upon, and they wouldn't give it to them. So it happened to me so many times that they decided no, no, we have to stop this. And the problem, it is thought to STEM at the age of 20 or so I attended healthful football.
So he got LASR, to Islam to learn how a treaty is, is worked out how how you actually bring people together and build an alliance of peace. And that's important, because that takes a lot of diplomacy. And it takes there's it goes, a lot more goes into it than what meets the eye. Meaning just saying, yeah, we'll gather some people around, and we'll agree to do something good.
That's yeah, good luck, it's very difficult to bring people to the table, it's very difficult to bring people who don't agree on certain things to the table, it's very difficult to actually put something together that everyone will agree to, and everyone's going to be willing to put their name on. So there's a lot that happens, I just thought was the way he was in terms of his character, he was very attentive to these things. So he watched me Listen, which is why you'll see later on this will serve him well, and be in the two by October in the day, but you'll see it you'll start to see him as a master of this craft. He knows how to bring people together and how to get those who don't
agree on much to agree on something that has played in it. And he so he learned the art of peace out of his thought to a certain by attending that. Another thing that he attended that was very important in his teenage years, was something called herbal pujara.
There's that famous war that occurred between place Island, which is one of the great hegemony made out of as they call them. The atoms have different ways of of naming the
different tribes. And Jim and Jim Jones, umami is a skull, but Jama it refers to a very large tribes, meaning a tribe that encompasses within it within it, at least five very large tribes under it. So base Island is a very large hydro measurement Auto, and Kwinana, which is where the Prophet alayhi salatu salam has come from.
And if you know his ness of it, his salatu salam, you'll know that Keynesianism is there. So
between these two tribes, four wars, called Delphi jar or full jar occurred, and why did they call them having full job? The reason is because they would have these wars during the Ashdod photo during the sacred months where it's not, it's not acceptable for anyone to bear arms during those months. So when they broke, they broke that sacred rule of Abraham. And he said to them, four different times the profit out of your sight was attended the last one. It was called How to build wealth or luckily, man, because a man did something it's worth going back at some point in reading these stories, because they're quite fascinating in what actually occurred, but the probability of
slots was attended the last one. It now there's some difference of opinion obviously amongst a story and regarding historians regarding that, but we do have an assault from him. It used to lie to us and I'm where he recalls help where he recalls being the person who carried the arrows and offering his uncle's the arrows as they defended Mecca, because Mecca was being raided by one of the tribes. And he also learned the marksmanship, Allah has taught to some during that so he attended a war that went on for a couple of months. I think his thought to him at a young age, so he learned he learned what warfare was, he learned he experienced or at a young age out of his thoughts, isn't he
All of these are just experiences that are being added to that's how you should see your life especially if you're younger. That's how we want you to
See your life. See your life as just everything that's happening to you is just another experience that you have under your belt now, something that you went through, for better or for worse, something eat, it could be easy, it could be hard, it could be something very fulfilling, it'd be something that really just drained you a complete failure in your own measurements and you're within whatever criteria you're using or a success. All it is at the end is an experience and you choose in your life, whether your experiences are going to improve you, move you forward, strengthen you and allow you to be better or not. And that is a different skill, honestly, that on its own is its own
skill set. I don't know how to teach that. But I think if you just take time and reflect a little bit, you should be able to figure out how to do it. A lot of people aren't very good at it. And I'll tell you what happens. If something great happens to them, then they let it go to their heads, they see that somehow they were deserving of it, everything that they did prior to it led up to it. So everything they did prior was right. And they go around telling people, this is what I did. And that's why this happened. And they actually believe that everything they did prior to this achievement was what led to this achievement. They don't, they're not able to figure that actually
tease out what was helpful and what wasn't helpful. And they're not good at that. Or the opposite. If things go bad for them, they lose confidence, and they lose hope. And they feel like they were cheated out of something good.
Well, I life is much more simple than that. Those are two complicated approaches to what's happening to you. It's much more simple than that. You're just going through experiences, you'll make good choices, you make bad choices, you get it right, sometimes you get it wrong, other times just learn, just learn, the past is gone, you can never change it, you can't go back in time. Sorry to pop that bubble for you, you're not gonna go back in time, time, time travel isn't coming, you're not gonna go back, it will go back and change anything, whatever happened happened, you can dwell on it, you can let it break you down, it can ruin you. Or you can let it go to your head and turn you into
something that you you're not, and you end up lying to yourself, or you can just see the past for what it is.
It's a bunch of experiences, some easy, some difficult, some were rewarding, and some are not. I just learned from all of them.
And once you have all those experiences under your belt, you're able to move forward, you're much wiser, you're much more capable, and much more confident. And that's, that's just really what life is about. If you're able to figure that piece out, then then you're going to be surely you'll do very well on the provider, your sergeants and the reason I'm giving all these experiences, every single one of these experiences at some point in this era, over the months to come. I'll point out to you remember, see, he knew what to do. Because that experience. So don't underestimate the importance of an experience that you run go through in life, even if it was difficult, and you're
like, I wish I didn't calm down. Okay?
Okay, take take it for what, just take it for now, persevere. And you'll see that at some point, this will come in handy. It'll come in handy. At some point, the profit, I just thought was so much let's move forward with a.
And this I love this idea, because it really does, in my opinion,
and break down what I just explained to you, you find this in sort of the shadow in the manosphere Usila. And then he repeats it again. Because that first one was for the Prophet Allah you saw to some specifically, the second one is, is generate generic in their mind, oh, sorry, use raw with each difficulty with each difficulty, there'll be enough ease within it for you to
get through. To make it to make it through it. It doesn't mean that after each difficulty, there'll be ease, it doesn't mean that any difficulty you have is going to end no some difficulties, they don't end some difficulties and with death.
Some point that's how it's going to be. So this is not talking about sequence. Difficulty than is no, this is talking about a simultaneous effect, your run through difficulty, but there's always going to be within it enough ease for you to get through for you for it not for it not to break you for it not to ruin you completely. And that's all you want. You may die, but you can die with dignity, you may lose but you can lose with dignity as well. If you understand that in each difficulty, and that will take away the worry effect. You don't worry as much you don't waste too much time worrying about going to happen. Don't worry, every difficulty that is given to you there
will be easy enough for you to get through it if you're able to find it. And if that's how you see life in general. It's a very comforting idea. But it's also a fact of life to it no matter where you start with difficulty you will find ease and the probability of success in the midst of his difficulty of losing his father and losing his mother and losing his grandfather. And working as at a young age and having very little in terms of wealth. There was always enough ease for him to get through these things on a usados it didn't break him. I think that's worth kind of thinking about.
So these are the four things that I want to point out today. Well, I'll make a list at the end of all of the experiences before his death out of here. So I'll throw Sam will kind of summarize them for you. What I wanted to point out is it's I think it's important for you, especially again, this is just for my you know, more specifically my younger brothers and sisters but everyone
benefit from this is that life
offers you the opportunity of picking up a lot of skills. The probability is sought to slim his his experiences gave him a lot of skills, a lot of skills. It gave this this skill of perseverance, the skill of existing in a large group and not feeling left out and not needing too much attention and not requiring service, the skill set of taking responsibility of himself at a young age, the ability to deal with people from different backgrounds, the ability to deal with animals, the ability to these skill sets, as
weird as they may sound, as I point them out, are, are very helpful. Like they're very, very helpful. What if people don't when you're going to get drunk when you're trying to get hired in your life? You're going to come with this resume, this long resume that says all of the certificates you picked up and all, I can tell you that most people are hiring, they don't even read this stuff. Well, I mean, most of it, you could you could write, you could write a short story on your resume, I can tell you most of the jobs you apply to wouldn't even notice. They're not looking for that they're looking for what skills do you bring? But what skill sets do you have they talk to you? They
want to say you personable? Are you teachable? Are you someone who can work in a team or your team player? Are you respectful? Are you humble? Are you kind, what type of person you are, that's what matters more, you see, someone who has those skill sets, honestly, is a better employee than someone who has had all the certificates. If you have someone else, all the certificates who studied every has the undergrad and postgrad in the PhD and all that. But you can't, you can't deal with the person you can't speak to them, they don't know how to, then there's no point this is going to drain the company to make it difficult. They don't want you by bringing someone who may not maybe a little
bit naive, maybe not have all the information. But this is someone we can work with. They're teachable, they're their team player, you're much more attractive as an employee, and you have better chances of being an entrepreneur anyways. Like you'll be able to actually run your own thing with these skill sets. Don't underestimate the importance of skill sets. And they don't come from sitting in front of a screen.
screens don't give you skill sets. Aside from scrolling more efficiently. Aside from that, very few skill sets you pick up maybe you can get. And I'm differentiating between information and skill sets. Yes, the screens that we have are they were blessed to have them. There's a lot of information that we pick up, you learn a lot. Of course, all the knowledge that the human race has ever come up with is on YouTube, basically just punching anything, how to avoid being killed by a tiger, you'll find a couple of people explaining to you take a step back. Plus your friend had turbo, like there'll be things you can do, like it's not you'll find something there to be to teach you how to
do it. But skill sets are different skill sets require you to get out and go live life and be out there and take a job and, and take on an internship and, and go do things and involve yourself and volunteer your time. And, and that's really what the Prophet Abraham did. He just he just threw himself at life. Whatever work he he didn't just work as a merchant, he worked every job he would talk about, he worked every job that was available, he would carry he would he would carry rubble for people he worked with people were drilled. So he he would carry Rubble, he learned how to put to put the bricks and at the time, there was no concrete. So it was Lebbon that they use, which is
basically a type of mud, this type of clay that hardens. And if you if you if you went to the Middle East, and went to like an old home, like a grandparents home or something, some of them were built by these huge rocks with some with with something between the rocks, it wasn't really concrete. And the walls were like maybe a meter, you could sit in the windowsill like I used to sit in between the window and the end of where they were in my in my grandparents house with a friend because that's how big the wall was. So it's a difference. So he learned these things on it, you saw to him. And he learned hunting, how to hunt animals out of himself, because he would sell that he learned he to
chop wood. And he would sell that. So he whatever work was available, he did it out of his slaughter. So he understood how people were and what lifestyles existed. So he wasn't naive, my biggest problem is when I'm dealing with younger people, and I see. And I find them to be naive, like they don't know, outside of the bubble that they grew up and they don't know much, but they haven't really seen much of the world. Their opinions will tell you that and also their ability to kind of get things done will tell you that as well. And I don't like it. I wish there were ways to kind of throw people out there to get more experiences. But it's important that you think that way.
If you're young think that way. Don't be afraid. Most of us don't want to be outside of our comfort zone want to be exactly where we're nice and comfortable and used to things No, no, if you're young, don't do that. Don't do that. Get out. Go to do things you're not good at, go out, get get yelled out. Go get yelled at when you're 10 or else you'll be yelled at when you're 30 and I can tell you for sure being yelled at when you're 10 for not knowing how to do something is much less harmful than being yelled out when you're 30 years old for not doing something not knowing how to do something you should have learned 15 years before. So go out there and learn the problem. It solves
So we knew I don't money, manage money, you know how to he was a good public? No, sorry, I take that back. He wasn't a good public speaker. He was an exceptional public speaker audience. It wasn't the best or orators that ever lived. Obviously, it wasn't picked up by what? By sitting quietly all through it. No, he watched orders, he attended superb. Oh, and he listened to the great orders of his time, speak. And he watched how they spoke, and how they carried themselves and how they said things and how they, they used words, to influence people and get them to think in a certain direction. He learned how to do that. And then he did it himself out of us talk to us today. And he,
This these matter, these matter, these skills matter more, unfortunately, then, then the world tells you,
we run after our academic degrees. And I don't think that's a bad thing. Obviously.
I don't even take people to our educational programs, if they're not accepted. Following a degree you have to be studying, you have to show me that your study is important. But there's a second piece to that. There's another bucket that you need to fill that bucket to your skills, what are you? What do you know how to do?
You don't learn how to do things, if you don't fail, attempting to do them first, you have to fail a number of times attempting them before you learn how to do them appropriately. I think that's something upon us as a community and as parents as well to make sure that our let's talk a little bit here.
We'll talk a little bit with this today.
So that's up to 25 years old buddy, his salatu salam.
He has worked every job that was available to him. He's attended a war. He's attended a treaty. He's picked up a number of skills. He's doing okay. His lifestyle up till now he's single.
He, his lifestyle is whatever money he makes. He takes care of people around him. He gives a lot of it to him.
He brings some autonomous children into his house, he had his own house to take care of them. And then a lot of his friends were the people who couldn't take care of themselves.
People were broke, or just intellectually not capable of supporting themselves. These are the people who were always around him and he sought to use his wealth to take care of them. He never really held on too much money. He never needed to. But he made enough more than enough for what he what his lifestyle required only his son. So there was very simple, very simple lifestyle
at the age of 25, or before that maybe 23 years, two years before,
I will tell him told him why you're working with me. I have a simple business. Like, I don't really have a lot. The limit of how much money you can make with me is not that high. Why don't you consider doing something different? You know how you know the trade now go to work with someone else. So the broader audience thought was Roger, Well, who am I? Who am I going to work with? So he said, Well, recently, Khadija been toilet and Khadija been tweeted, if not the Rosa.
She is one of one of the noble ladies of Quraysh she's a very, very unique figure. Khadija radula. Juana, I it's important for you to know this because she's not just a lady. No, no. Khadija on her own, on her own merit, was an extremely unique individual. She was a lady who had her own business. She was an extremely successful businesswoman. She had been married twice in her life. And both her husband's passed away. And she had children from one of them. She had three children.
And her husband had passed away he ran her business. Now his her business, needed someone to run it. She didn't. She wasn't doing it personally anymore because of her children. So she needed someone to do it. She had a whole someone who served her it was Mesa who took care of things but it needed it needed a leader like the caravans needed a leader. So boy told the prophit it's like twisted. I'm Khadija doesn't have anyone to run her business anymore. It's quite a prosperous one. If you do that, and you keep the sheets that will save you continue to travel and buy and sell then you can make a good buck for yourself and you can help her she was a very respected individual. So the
provider you saw the Samsung shirt, that's fine. So it was offered to Khadija he just said I need to test him first. So Khadija is not naive. She's a very smart lady. You'll see what I mean in a moment. She didn't say okay, yes, of course he can take it over. No. She said, I'll give him probation. She put him on three months probation. But we tried this before slim. And Mesa was the guy who was in charge of she he was her I mean, he would come back and report to Khadija. What does this man do? Is he someone because Khadija again unique individual didn't just care about making the money. She was looking for someone who had ethics. Like she said she wanted someone who was
ethically she didn't want someone who just made the money but lied and it rip people off and did it in a crooked manner. She actually wanted her to Jada to be Highland. Police knew what Halal haram was when it came to money. And also I'll point that out to you a little bit down the road. They knew what it was
was way before he started because he brought him out. He said, I'm showing I had a lot of money. It talks about what was an acceptable way to make wealth and what wasn't. So they knew what that meant. Not all of them followed it, but they knew what it meant. So how did you ascend Mesa
and on three escapades, every month, he would come back and you'd report to her
about him sort of law on your side you sell them.
And when she asked him he would say
it was his testimony. Well, I Hemara a to a hidden Muslim. I've never seen anyone like this man. Yeah, I'm a little cleaner than know how he works all day long. Well, Allah He masks me I too mean who cares? But and
I have never heard him say one word that was a lie. But not once during this whole buying and selling business. Did he say something that was unacceptable? But well, Allah He man had diarrhea Dehiwala family, he never touches the money, whatever money comes in. He puts it with me because he's the he's never once looked at it or touched it once out of here. Salatu Salam
wa kumara he had a Mithila had never seen anyone like him. So she would leave Mesa with the prophet Isaiah Sato for another two months in Mesa would come back and say the same thing. And sometimes he would tell her a story that was a little bit out of that. Hole. Wallahi Maura Elena Anna Harun? Well, asef is summer elever Hema there was a day that came we started Khadija it was a completely empty sky. And there's just one small cloud, the whole key for my Machina, they'll have to be now wherever we walk, it just follows us. We were shielded from the sun all day long from from from from noon to Oslo. The sun didn't touch us. He would tell her this, this what he's witnessing. Probably
Allah who I know, the majority of scholars believe that accepted Islam later. We don't have confirmation of it. But I hope so that he did.
And he would tell her about the above Prophet alayhi salatu salam in his and his ethics.
That's a whole different story. Talking about someone's ethics is is different. So that's the third bucket.
So yeah, you have an academic degree, you have some skill sets. What are your values? Like though?
Are you truthful? You're honest. Are you okay? Can you be trusted? Are you someone who is trustworthy?
Are you someone who's compassionate, you care about other things? Other people?
Are you someone who
person of their word, and when they say something, they'll actually come through with it?
Whatever you say, you can be believed?
Or what, what is it? This is a big deal.
This is a big problem in the world.
A lot of people have a lot of good skills and good attributes within that piece isn't there, it doesn't matter. Pray in the first stuff as long as now as long as you want. But the tears run down your face for rivers of tears. If you got to be trusted, and you speak doesn't matter.
You got to be trusted when you speak. If you don't deal with people in a straightforward way, if we're not a straight shooter, that doesn't matter. Well, at the end, this just doesn't add up to anything.
So that was a third bucket Alia salatu. Salam was observed ethically. And when you're buying and selling, that's where a lot of ethics come out. Because money's involved, especially for men. Men bleed from their wallets. That's where the pain comes into their pockets. So that's where their ethics will be very, very clear. And Mesa traveled with the Prophet alayhi salatu salam she saw you saw your whole Mesa on the last time he came back.
He said he's telling Khadija about something that happened that a man told the prophet Allah you sought to ask him about something is this whatever is the value of something? He said? Yes, for Karla Toxie mobility when do you swear by Allah? Allah, ma i bet to Houma, Hector oximeter, Hema I don't I don't believe in them to swear by Allah to Allah Azza to begin with so many Surah
because Khadija, in her essence was also more hidden. He was one of the few people left that still believed in Tohei. And all this will come and show a very soon you'll see the examples of it very, very soon. So when she heard that, Mesa say that he doesn't, he doesn't, he doesn't worship any idols, he doesn't take any, because a lot of us do take their gods with them. They took their idols with them. So they are on a journey. So they will take it with them, and then they would watch. So they probably got a son didn't do any of that. And he didn't he, of course, it doesn't mean he doesn't have some idol back home that he cares for. But when he said that Mesa reported back that he
doesn't believe in this. So how do you get to the Allah who built a certain degree of trust in Him, it has a lot to us after a couple of months. And she gave him her T job. I mean, he became in charge of all of her wealth, and she was a wealthy lady.
And he worked and of course he was he got a cut out of what he made. He made it he made it good because his that his money standard was higher. He made more money out of you. So it was it was doing well.
A year or so into doing this or more.
The problem it is what I was doing. 25 years old.
Single gentleman is always living his life works takes care of people around him. He's involved with his family. It's always
I mean, not really looking much into getting married at the time. I don't know why, but he wasn't. He had no relationships up till that moment I even saw to him. I think a lot of his wealth was just spent in other places. So he never put enough together like he never had like a big wad of money. Every time he made money, he spent it either on family or people or friends or whatever he didn't really have. He didn't have bad habits. He didn't drink out of your slot didn't didn't gamble didn't go on large escapades and did not
spend the summers in the Bahamas or anything like that. He just lived a simple life. It was salty, but he never put together a lot of money.
And the story goes like this, Khadija was extremely impressed by the profit out of your slaughter was set up.
And she liked him.
But she wouldn't dare to say anything. They're probably not as close to them as any his ethics wouldn't allow him to if you didn't look, he didn't say anything. He dealt with the money and went on his lane.
He just friend Her name is say that a FISA will be Alana. She is sitting with Khadija Khadija is she's asking please how's your how's your business and whatnot. And he just obviously just she's, she's talking about the price value. So Muhammad takes care of it. He's this and he's got and he does this and he does that. And she's talking about how, you know, amazing individual he is. So she says, If he says, and there's a lot of pieces in the world, we don't have enough of them. At this point. I feel we need more than more than Ephesus, people can do these things that move things along. We have too many single people over the age of 25 and 30. Fatah that
potential Virgina, Mohammed, how about you marry him?
So Allah Allah is like visionary. But if a second Khadija
she didn't say anything she got quite defined. It's unifying. So yesterday he didn't say anything, but I thought he meant nephews and if he's understood, so she goes to the prophet Ali Assam she's a second cousin to him. I think I saw to somebody, Claudia, Mohammed, Malika that is, what's wrong with you. Why do you get married?
Because someone I sell them for a year? I have no money, more money. So what you need is going to marry you have no money for God it Khadija
has to marry you. Or define what you do that for Carter's Oh, Oscar.
Yeah, because you want to keep her dignity.
I'm gonna talk about the story. Don't worry, I'm gonna tell you if you give you my two cents on the story in a moment.
So she'll go back and act like they're, you know, talking for a couple of days for the Prophet alayhi salatu. Salam is boiling, waiting to see because as it happens, men, once this comes up, it becomes a
it takes away their ability to think about anything else. So he's waiting to hear back now Nafisa already knows the answer, but she just wants to let them kind of
boil for a while so that we can make this work. So we come back to the Prophet Allah is on the toilet, but only Khadija. She's happy. By the faculty, we call him bring up alternative income. The profit is awesome about that we'll call him his uncle. And he said, I want to also call the Khadija. So the Buddha was very happy, because he's a very known lady. And he would go with the prophets of Allah on your subdomain. And they will do their Nikka. And he would marry her Khadija at the time, was a few years older than her money. So what was well, the common the common understanding or knowledge was that she was 40 years old. She wasn't 40 years old, she was at most 28
and I can get an armory
or two historians who actually took when it came to ages, both Khadija and Aisha and they broke down the possibilities, and it's impossible for to be very before she's going to have six children with Imani Sato Salaam. And it just doesn't. It doesn't add up in terms of the when her father was born when she was born, just doesn't add up. So she was around maybe 28, a few years older than Himalayan salt was him.
And he would get married. He's 25, she's 28.
So there's a couple of things here within this story that I think is worth kind of sharing with you before we kind of told the rest of it. There's nothing wrong with a woman showing interest in a man when it comes to marriage. But it has to be done in a dignified manner, meaning the dignity of the woman has to be maintained during that time. A woman should not put herself down she should not come off as someone who is needy who's asking for leadership. If you're listening to me if your younger sister listened to me, never do that. Never ever do that. Never ever come to a man and express that you're interested in that person. The moment you do that, his very simple brain doesn't understand
what that means. He doesn't know how to deal with that information. Very few peep men have the ability to to have that offer to them and still respect the woman. It's wrong, but it's the reality and I'm not here to fix how we function as men. I'm just telling you what the reality is. So if you're interested in a man that has to be done through in a FISA, right, you need some Nafisa to do it for you. You can't do it yourself. I get this question a lot from sisters who are going to coming to an age where they want to get married. Don't if you express interest in them, almost always it doesn't work if it does.
does work, they will use that against you one day, they will it will be used against you and he has to pursue you, he has to come and knock your door and he has to come and ask for you. It doesn't mean you're not allowed to show interest and have someone bring that up across. But you have to have that done in a dignifying manner. And that is to maintain the integrity and the respect and, and the self esteem and the self confidence of our sisters and our the women in our community. So it's very important. There's nothing wrong with the idea Khadija did it. But it was done in a dignified manner. She didn't come off as she was an older lady trying to marry someone know that that's not
how this came up. And it didn't come up as him either. You saw this, I'm trying to marry a lady with wealth. It happened in a very respectful, dignified manner.
So just remember that and keep that in mind. That's number one. Number two, Khadija This was her third marriage. Third marriage, not second. Not first was a third marriage. This whole myth, this whole taboo that was built around divorce, or someone being a widow, is very problematic. I don't know where it comes from, aside from medieval concepts from because I'm sorry to say Catholicism is not going after a religion. But if you study the history a little bit there, they had a certain view of women who are divorced and widowed that the Arab never had inja Helia.
A smart been to always listen to this a smart Metromix only Allah who wanna marry Jaffa Taalib. And I will back to the suit, do you know what to do? Bob and Northmet have been affirmed, and Id
all of them, they all died. But she married them all. And they all pursued her for marriage. And she accepted. Why because men looked for women who had high integrity, dignity, and a great lineage, a great background, a woman who had something to offer Aside from her looks. It wasn't the looks they were looking for. They were looking at someone who could carry her weight to and who could raise children to be great men and great women. They looked for people who came from great families and women who had accomplishments and people who could, when we when we break down the pursuit of marriage for men to be just looks, you have to look a certain way. This is a problem of so many
levels. I'm sorry, it's on so many levels a problem. Now I can again I can I I'm not able to fix that. But but if I can just get some of you. Especially if you're younger, you could get married to think outside of figure.
Think outside of just the way people look because that is not who they are. What they look like is not well, there it goes both ways, by the way, at this point, didn't long time ago. And now he's going both ways. Now, on the other side, same thing looking for a guy who has to look a certain way as well. You know, people like me are falling out of favor.
A bit short with a girl she you're not you're not you're not do your market value is quite low. But that shouldn't be the case shouldn't be based on what you look like or how much money you have. She Khadija is valued wasn't with her wealth. Khadija was a lady of great status. She was very respectful and respectable. And she was a lady that people would come to for for advice. He was wise for the law. And she had a lot of experience in life. She came from a great family. This is why the provider yourselves to them. Even though she was this is her third marriage and she has three children. It wasn't a problem
wasn't a problem. I'm not saying this about we go in and start breaking every norm that we know. But I'm but I think it shouldn't be. The way that we deal with people who are divorced is a little bit harsh. It's harsh on both sides, for women and for women and for men as well. And that shouldn't be the case people should be a little bit more open minded. That's number two. Number three,
I believe that when it comes to the age difference,
men, it's in their better interest to marry a woman who's a bit younger than them because women mature before men do. They do 15 year old girl is usually mature.
More than me, like they they mature earlier. They're able to carry families and today Much, much much earlier than men do. So when we when men and women get married, there's a difference of age and maybe a bit older ends up working a little bit better from a maturity perspective. Now for the Prophet he wasn't there wasn't a case. For him either. He saw me as much more he was probably the most mature person who lived in Mecca. So for him, it didn't make a difference was was his age older, younger didn't make a difference for him. It has Southwestern, but for our age, I think we do have something to look after here a little bit. If we want to remove the age barriers completely,
which is again a Prophetic practice. The Prophet Allah is a married lady older than him. No problem. Actually, many of his wives were older than him and he sought to ascend they came later.
Now we have to make sure that our young men are of a certain degree of maturity. So they can do that because important.
when you talk about marriage, I'm not sure I put these in do you make them into points or did I not
Okay, I just read that there.
There is a difference in financial status between the two of them. She was very wealthy, he was not only his thoughts. When it comes to Islamic law, there's something that we use the word, a phrase that we call katha. Right adequacy. I talked about this throughout the summer, I don't know if he did a good job. And I talked about marriage quite a bit throughout the summer and explained a number of ideas. Kapha is important. You have to know that the person, the two people are able to meet each other's innate standards, the standards of life that they're used to, that's what the FDA is. So it's important that it's there. Without COFA marriage doesn't last very long, it typically get
married, and they're not able to meet each other standards. Because we didn't look at the adequacy part, it doesn't mean that one is better than the other. No differences is what we're looking at not high and low is differences. If two people marry from very different backgrounds, and their expectations within their homes are different, then they'll make each other miserable. On either side, that's why fathers or mothers are involved in assessing cuffa. It's not to be used as a tool or a weapon to stop marriages that work just because you don't like the person's
ethnicity or the color of their skin or how much money they have. It should be used to assess whether that is adequacy, whether whether these two people can meet each other standards in a household.
And even though there was a difference in money, that wasn't a problem, because the Prophet alayhi salatu salam, he took care of the house.
She didn't, she wasn't spending her wealth on the house, her wealth was hers, he took care of the house. And since he was working in her business, the money that he made was enough to take care of. Now it was their social adequacy of course, of course, socially, the profit out of your Southwestern arm was of a level of status and wisdom from a family that was equal to Khadija there was there was full cover between them, there's no problem. There's a difference in finances, but the Prophet Allah Islam took care of the household.
All right, listen carefully to this.
The man is responsible to take care of the household financially. This is the default of Islam is the default, you're responsible to spend your wealth on your wife, your children and the house. She is not, she is not, she's not responsible to spend her money on these things.
It doesn't mean she can't, it just means that if she does, there has to be a compromise elsewhere to or that has to be somehow calculated or maintained.
Just like the woman is responsible for the wealth beat for being the primary caregiver of the household and the children. It doesn't mean the man is not response, it just means she's the primary caregiver. It doesn't mean the man can be a caregiver and take care of the house. And but it means that if he does, there has to be a compromise elsewhere, too.
When men do this, when men start, have you ever made your husband do the dishes, or clean the home? When they do it, they feel very entitled to many things afterwards. Because they don't do this easy. They'll do it. But they expect a lot in return. Because it's not their nature to do that. The same thing goes for a woman who is spending her wealth on the household, she'll do it, but she expects something to return.
And that's okay. If we agree to these things, meaning when we talk about marriage, know what the default is, you want that default is based on our innate characteristics and attributes as human beings. So when you decide, okay, the default is not going to occur, because maybe both are employed. And we need both belts, then we have to talk about, okay, how does this work? What is the wealth distribution going to look like? What am I going to do in return, you can't have a woman who is working, spending her wealth on the household and responsible for all of the primary caregiving of the home and the kids. That is one that is little I'm sorry, that's not okay. It happens a lot.
And it's not okay.
So what do you need to do? We need to sit down to talk about finances, talk about distribution, and make sure that everyone will either say no, love should be enough.
Oh, don't make me laugh. What are you talking about? That's how you ruin whatever love is there. If there is love, and you don't talk about these things, and you don't organize it appropriately, make sure everyone everyone is being treated fairly, then love will go away. Because when you feel oppressed, or you feel you're mistreated a little bit, when you feel like you're putting in more than the other person is, and you're bringing to the table more than that what they're bringing to the table, then you will start feeling a little bit of resentment, ah, a little bit of resentment becomes a little bit more resentment, and then it becomes a lot of resentment. And then whatever
love is used to be is no longer for something silly. Wish you could have been just agreed upon, oh, here's how we're going to do it. Here's how we're going to distribute the work. And this is specifically for the young brothers and sisters who want to get married soon. These discussions are what you have up front. The lovey dovey stuff you can have later. All right
To all the heart emojis and all the other stuff that you can, you can do that later. There's enough time for that. Don't worry you for the rest of your life to do that no problem. But these discussions have to have happen upfront.
There's many different ways to run a household.
There's many different ways to run a household. It could be the opposite. The ladies working demand stays home, no problem, as long as we agree on making sure everyone is going to be treated fairly at the end, and no one's going to be ripped off and feel and walk away feeling that they didn't get what they deserved out of it.
Because what's happening a lot. Are we that close? Oh, my gosh. All right.
25 years he would stay married to her and his slot was around 25 years, they would have six children.
You want to talk about a love story.
Or the Shakespearean garbage that they that they shovel into your heads when you're in high school. Why talk about a love story.
Talk about this one. He married her and lived with her 25 years. He had six children. They lost two of them when they were children when they were young. Two of them died. The concept of doula they both die. The loss of a child in a marriage is extremely strenuous and difficult. They lost to not only the love for for the 25 years he was with her on his thought was he loved her for the 15 years later that came that came after he loved her not till the day she died. He loved her the day he died Ali his thought was that
he spoke of her after she died every day. Every single day he would speak of Khadija every time wells came into the house. Every time a gift was given. He would cut a piece, wrap it up and send it to one of her friends. But her then asleep Sahiba it for deja because her family by then had all passed away. So we sent her friends. I would say I was never jealous of any of them. Except this one lady who had died 15 years before I even I couldn't I couldn't she he kept on talking about her Phoenicia this idea that he could he does this and so I told him one day Oh, you want this this lady who? Who's her bones don't even exist in the grave anymore. You have me and he got upset on it.
But Abdelhak Allahu Allah, may Allah give you a better lady, a battered wife, Accardo Allah.
Guys risky for him to say it. But he said it anyway. But allow Allah He might have done any hyaluron min. And then he counted and we'll talk about them. He counted all these things. He he stayed loyal to her Allah, your salatu salam. He'd be lying in his in his house, and he would hear footsteps coming. And the footstep sounded like the footsteps of Khadija.
He knew what she sounded walking. And she was already passed away years ago who couldn't be here. So we say Hola. Hola. Hola. Hola is your sister. It's not gonna be hers. May it be her sister, it would be turned on her sister. He was talking army and go sit and talk to these old ladies. And the guy who's watching would stand there one of the Sahaba he told him not to follow but he followed anyways. He said I said oh, what are you doing? The Army what? Who are these? Oh please because he saw Heba to Khadija Cohen. This is a Corolla Yeah, Mel Jimena Yamaha. Khadija we remembering the reminiscing of the good old days, the days of Khadija Salallahu Alaihe Salam you send them want to
talk about a love story. A love story doesn't end when they're standing at the altar getting married. That's where it begins.
Every every row every every neighbor romantically it ends when they get married. Yeah, habibi. That's not where it ends. Show me 25 years into the marriage. show me show me 25 years. Show me later.
I'll stop with that because they're gonna get you out. You start yelling at me for the Kahoot so and with that inshallah continue this, this piece of his marriage in Charlottetown and next week Subhanallah behind the Joomla Hey, learn to stop you to break also Allahu wa salam O Allah kind of you know Muhammad Allah. He's mainly talking about a Colombian Sudan when it comes to Alberta culture
Santa Monica everybody
was ready to play some Kahoot
raise your hand if you're excited
want to carry this
Okay, so the game code is 433601 to
try to get into the game as soon as possible. That way we can have enough time in sha Allah before Asha done
Wait one more minute in sha Allah and I will get started
all right, does anybody need any more time? Raise your hand okay
let's try to get that as soon as possible inshallah
Hurry up please
Okay, we're gonna get started
we're just waiting for one person okay hola
zero part five
a couple of unique questions so be prepared. So the first question What did the Prophet sallallahu Sallam work as for seven years which taught him compassion and empathy
was it a businessman a shepherd? Yes, Shepherd. Correct.
We have Abdur Rahman in first the acid and second and an N in third Masha Allah Okay, next question.
The Prophet salallahu Salam learn what aspect of war at a young age
was it swordsmanship the fence
it was archery if you remember
Okay, next question.
We got Mr. Khaled in first Ahmad and second and yes it in third. Mashallah. Okay, true or false. The Prophet SAW Salem was a shepherd for 15 years and a merchant for seven years.
There is a there's a hint in the first the first question, if you remember the first question, you'll be able to get this one correct.
It was false. It's actually the other way around.
Here we got a miter saw on first. Okay. The best way to learn something is to read the owner's manual. So practice it to study at or to fail audit. Which one is it?
No, it's the fail.
Practice works, but the best way to learn is to fail.
Okay, you have to type this you have to type this out. What was what should be in that blank Phoenicia event? Who?
There's there's a couple ways of spelling it. They're all in there. So if you spell it relatively correct, it should be good.
Remember that the faster you answer the more points you get.
Yeah, if you spelt it wrong that's on you. So those are the those are the four spellings that I put in
not a lot of people got that well, okay.
That's fine. We'll move to the next question, inshallah.
We have SATA a and first Cheyenne in second
select all that apply
but one could be correct two could be correct three could be correct they could all be correct
you don't know
Yes, so it's green, blue and yellow.
She had been married before
we got Cheyenne back in first sada moved down to second yes and third Kareem and fourth and Ahmad in fifth Mashallah. MashAllah
question seven also multiselect things to look for in a marriage
select all that apply
could all be correct
yes they're all correct
Okay, next question.
Sata a back in first the acid at the second Kadeem in third Okay. True or false financial responsibility and a marriage falls upon the men is that true or is that false?
later board remains unchanged Okay second question. That's true or false. The caregiving responsibility in a marriage also falls upon the man Is that true or is that false
again, that doesn't necessarily mean that the opposite can do it but the main responsibility falls upon the man is what the question is asking Is that true or false? False Correct
Oh as moved into fifth sauna a still in first the acid in second cut even third
question 10 The Prophet SAW Salem and deja were married for how many years?
Was it 20 to 2526 or 23?
Yes 25 was correct mashallah majority of you guys got that correct.
The leaderboard remains unchanged before we got to the last question. Unfortunately today we don't have gift cards but if you do win then I'll get them to you next week inshallah. So just let me know next week
Okay, last question. Love is the only thing you need in a marriage is that true or is that false?
Should be fresh in your memory
correct false is correct. Okay. Let's see the leaderboard real quick third place we have Cody mashallah
second place we have Yes sir.
And in first place none other than
slaughter a dot dot Masha Allah robotic Allah. Thank you everybody for playing. I hope you guys had fun and you enjoy the Halacha Zack will say we'll see you guys next week in sha Allah Sonic.