Ask Shaykh YQ #65

Yasir Qadhi


Channel: Yasir Qadhi


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Episode Notes

Advice on Death of a Loved One & Islamic Ruling on Idda. This pandemic has taken the lives of many people including some of our loved ones. Whether it is because of the pandemic or not, what are the rulings for the widow morning the loss of her husband?


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AI Generated Summary ©

The importance of acceptance of the legal rule of mourning for widows and widows is discussed in a series of segments covering the negative impacts of actions on others, including the loss of loved ones and negative mental health. The speakers emphasize the importance of memorizing certain legal acts and visiting deceased houses to show respect for relatives and ensure culture and context. They also discuss the default position for the decision to stay in a house where her husband and used to live, and the importance of avoiding certain creams and lotion and not wearing jewelry during this timeframe. The speakers emphasize the importance of avoiding certain creams and lotion and not wearing jewelry during these timeframes.

Transcript ©

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A sister emails that during this crisis from her mother has her father has passed away. We asked her best friends that is the Granton for those who don't either. So she's asking what are the Islamic rulings for mourning for observing, basically, the, the etiquettes of death, and especially for the widow for the woman when her husband dies, is it allowed for her mother to leave her house and to move in with the daughter, or mushy stay in the house where she lived in with, with basically her father, but now there's nobody there. So the question is about the Islamic rules of mourning overall, and especially for widows when their husbands passed away.

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COVID he came in

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he him first, blue, Lake Erie.

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The response to this question is that well, before we get to the fifth or the legal aspect, I think also, it's important for us to give some generic advice because panela so many people, especially in this crisis, they're they're passing away. And not only this, but when a person passes away, generally speaking, the family has not prepared the family does not know what to do. And this is a knowledge that is essential and necessary for every single Muslim. And unfortunately, all too often we don't study or learn and then when it happens, we don't know what to do. And so this small mini question, I'll take it as an opportunity to remind ourselves of some of the aspects that we need to

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do when somebody passes away. And also by the way, if somebody that you know, the relative is passed away, you can forward them this link as well. So then inshallah they can get some idea of what our religion says. Obviously there's faith based aspects as well Eman based, and the most important of these is what is called an Arabic or rainbow because Allah acceptance of the color of Allah subhana wa tada sober and being patient and acceptance here. What does it mean? When we say we accept a quarter of a lot? What it means is that we acknowledge that death is inevitable, we acknowledge that Allah subhanho wa Taala has decreed it, we acknowledge that he is the robber and he has the right to

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decree and I don't have the right to intervene. We might not understand the wisdom of a law, but we need to trust the wisdom of Allah, not understanding is permissible, but not trusting is not permissible. We must trust the decision. We must trust the judgment, even if we don't understand Allah subhanho wa Taala knows and we do not know and of the essence of faith is to submit to the other of Allah subhana wa Tada. Allah says in the Quran, law use our home use alone, none can ask a law what he does, rather we will be asked about what we do. So when somebody passes away, there must be a level of inadi law who are innately who are drawn to Allah, we belong into him, we shall

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return. There is not a problem, obviously to cry to feel sad. This is something that is absolutely normal. And in fact, our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he, his son passed away but on him, and he was crying in front of the Sahaba. And they said, Yes, we're allowed to cry. And he said, Yes, crying is a mercy that a lot places in the hearts of the believers. And when he visited the cover of Amina his mother, Amina, when he visited the grave of his mother, he cried so much that he was sobbing in front of the grave, and the Sahaba out of love for Him, they began sobbing as well. And they said his his his beard became wet with his tears. So being accepting of each other does not

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mean you're not going to be sad, nobody's happy at the death of a loved one. What it means is that psychologically, you understand that this life was not mine to own it is a loss of life, that the life that Allah xojo blessed to in this world, Allah has the right to take it away, and Allah chooses when to take it away. When Makana enough sin and tumwater Ellerbee is Neela Nikita Marcela, no soul shall die, except at a loss permission. It is something that is predetermined in a book, nothing that you could have done or didn't do, nothing that you should have done or didn't do, nothing can change the time that allows other had come in and allies origin has predetermined the

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other the time of death of every single one of us and so what other what a robot what acceptance means is that at some level, we will understand and we will accept that Allah has the right to do as he pleases. If somebody is hurt, if somebody is grieved, if somebody is crying, if somebody is sad, this is the essence of Rama and compassion, there is nothing whatsoever on Islamic in fact it is natural and if somebody does not demonstrate that then perhaps said something is not regular in this in this situation because to feel sad and grief is a part of Islam, our Prophet sallallahu our

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Adam said when Abraham passed away, he said we are saddened Abraham at your loss. But we shall only say what Allah is pleased with in 90 law he was neither he or her own. And always remember this hadith which is inside Buhari, that once the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam passed by a lady who was sitting at a graveyard, and she was crying, and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam said to her, be conscious of a lot, and be patient, be patient. He's trying to give her words of encouragement, trying to console her, and she was so grieved and so distressed, she said, Get away from me, you do not know the calamity that has been fallen unto me, she didn't recognize because she

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was grieved. And so the prophet SAW the loss and continued walking away, somebody came up to her said, Do not know who he was, he was the Prophet sallallahu sallam. And so she stood up, and she rushed to the gathering. And she, the report says, It was as if she herself had died, when she realized whom she had said that it was as if she herself had died. So she came up to the Prophet salallahu it he was setting them and she said, almost drove a lot. I'm so sorry, I didn't recognize you. So he's trying to excuse herself and of course, ended the process of forgive her, but he gave a phrase here, and I want every one of you to remember this phrase. I want every one of you to

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remember this phrase, memorize it, what did our Prophet sallallahu wasallam say, in nama sobre in the southern metal oola the truly patience is manifested at the first stroke of a calamity. One can you really tell when your patient how and when his patients manifested, the day after somebody passes away a week after your loved one passes away a year after you know your parent passes away, you can demonstrate patience everybody does. But as soon as you hear the news, what happens in the immediate aftermath when the shock when the emotions are still raw. If you can maintain sobriety at that point in time, then you have demonstrated to Allah subhana wa tada that you have truly believed

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in a laws other than again, what is sober, sober means you act in a dignified manner in a theologically conscious matter. sobra means that you control your limbs you control doing things that are an Islamic and of the things that are an Islamic there are many things that are an Islamic of them is wailing out loud, and what is wailing out loud wailing is not crying with the voice. No, that's not that you can cry with the voice You can cry some people saw the prophet SAW himself was sobbing when he was in front of the cover of his mother Amina willing, who means when we read in the Hadith that Islam forbids wailing wailing means to raise your voice with phrases that are

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theologically highly problematic. For example, the phrase that how am I going to live you know, after you I will not be able to survive, you know, we have no hope without you. And you are it is as if you are creating a godlike figure in the person that has passed away. What do you mean how are you going to live after this person he didn't take care of you Allah did a lot took care of him and you so the one who took care of you when this person was alive, will continue to take care of you when your loved one has passed away. So wailing means to say theologically, indecent things that goes against a law xojo being the ROB also of the things that some traditions they still do to this

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day, some non some religions other than Islam, when somebody passes away, so they tear something of their garment to demonstrate that they are sad, and they were torn garments for maybe a week or two and the shady I came in forbade that it is not allowed to tear our garments. Also, in some traditions, they shave their head or they even pull it out or they may go bald in some other non obviously, other traditions other than Islam. And in our tradition, we're not allowed to do that we're not allowed to go to that level. And the point is that we don't do things that are of an undignified nature like, like flailing around and breaking things and yelling and screaming. This is

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not befitting the dignity of a Muslim death is an inevitable reality no matter how painful it is. Deep down inside there must be okay. Allah knows best and again, I keep on reiterating a natural sadness being overcome with grief, totally permissible. It's a sign of being human versus acting in an unbecoming manner. That is what is not allowed our prophets Allah la hora Sena was standing in the masjid when jabril came and told him that they even had it That was his remember the adopted son story that aids story that the professor initially adopted him and then Islam came in forbade that type of adoption, that what is called to Benny Wednesday, and he Oh, there was obviously a great

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love when they even had ether, was killed in the bottle of water. jabril came in informed the Prophet sallallahu I sent him out. He said, I saw him from my room. I saw him in the messenger and grief over took him and he had to sit down. So how to look Can you imagine how much the grief was that he had to sit down so it's not a problem to damage

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Straight your sadness, it's something all of this is of the permissible issues. Also, we have to learn the law when somebody passes away the law of any tragedy, not just somebody passing away Tomasello has said that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that any time a Muslim is afflicted with the tragedy, and then he says in the law he went in a Li Hua Roger on a long journey he will see but the walk lawfully higher a minha Oh Allah reward me in this calamity and substitute for me something better than this calamity or miss oedema said.

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Anytime somebody says this, Allah subhana wa tada will substitute something better than that calamity. So whatever disaster happens to you, whatever pain happens to you remember this drop, and insha Allah to Allah, you will get more happiness in the near future than the pain that was caused. And Allah will bring about a joy that is bigger than the grief that was caused because of this law. So memorize this in the law, he were in a les Roger on a llama journey. We'll see. But he was lovely. Hi, Ron minha. So this is a drive that we should all memorize as well, when somebody passes away. And for any tragedy, actually, also of the things that we should do when somebody passes away

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of our extended family, or even of our friends, is that we should console the bereaved. And this is called Tasmania to make it in Arabic is called to console the family of the one who has passed away. And the ties here is obviously proportional to our strength to the person's family who passed away. Obviously, the idea to a brother's family is much stronger than to basically an acquaintance, for example, but each one has a house over us. And it is a part of our soon enough to give condolences and to give ties. And if we have that relationship, we should even visit the family of the deceased, our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam when his cousin Jafar passed away, he visited the house of

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Jaffa, and he spoke to the widow of Jaffa and he calmed her down and he encouraged her and he took the children of Jaffa who are now orphans, and he hugged them and he put his hand over their heads and he made dua for them. So he himself visited the house of his cousin, a Jafar, who died to shade in the same battle as Zaid and he consoled them. And this shows us that it is soon enough to visit the houses of the deceased, especially if they are close relatives. Now, a point here that you should just be aware of that some of the methods have expressed minor disapproval to prolong this visit, or to sit down. They say Judo, Judas and the ties here. And the point here is to make it

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something that is a ritual, and you have even some handful of scholars, and even some of the Sahaba, who said that this might be a type of innovation, because it resemble some of the practices of other faith traditions. However, there are other positions as well. And oh, the opinions is that the overall concept of visiting the family of the deceased, it is permissible, as long as the culture and the context make it permissible, there's no religion that is non Islamic, there is no. So again, you need to understand that in other faith traditions, there were certain rituals that would take place when foreigners came into the house, when strangers I mean, when non family came, and it is as

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if some of the early Sahaba they didn't want to return to that paganistic issue. But other scholars like even hijab like some other scholars, they said, you know, those traditions that seem to dislike or disapprove of sitting in the house of the deceased, it is because of those pagan practices. And if those pagan practices are unknown, and not being commemorated, then inshallah tada there's no problem to just in the culturally normal manner. This varies from culture to culture, in some cultures, you know, if you're a close relative, you will sit there the whole day. And if you're a distant you know, friend, you will just go for five minutes and go, it depends on culture to

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culture, and this inshallah tada is the correct opinion that we should not make a bigger deal about this. Your culture is wherever you are in the world, you have a certain procedure, a methodology of how you visit the family of the deceased and as long as there's no you know, rituals that are being done that are on Islamic and they're in shallow Tada, just to visit the the house and to express condolences. Now, how our condolences expressed a number of things First and foremost, you mentioned the deceased in a good way, how a prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that once a person passes away, then only good should be mentioned of the person. Don't think don't mention anything bad only

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mentioned good things and remember and only make dua for the deceased as well. And you can also make and you should make to offer the living that Allah subhanho wa Taala gives them patience and sober and increases their agenda. So of the two hours of the Prophet sallallahu wasallam of Allah jerky that May Allah increase speaking to a woman and this hadith May Allah increase your agenda, May Allah give you more reward for the patience that you're displaying at the death of a loved one. And you can also you know, make generic dwad that may Allah grant him a place in general for those May Allah make his grave a vast place. The point of the visit should be to demonstrate that you know,

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the loss that you suffered

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Frank also I feel it, and I'm here for you, whatever I can do. So this is a part of our religion, it is what our Prophet sallallahu wasallam did as well when he visited the house of Jaffa rhodiola Juan, also, he himself ordered that food be gifted to the house of Jaffa, he told our mothers, he told his wives, he said that prepare some food and send it to the house of Jaffa. Because they are busy right now they're they're not going to be cooking food. So especially the close family and friends and you know who you are in this case, I mean, obviously, if you're an acquaintance is not the same thing. But if you're close family and friends, and somebody has passed away, let's say and

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your cousin has passed away, you know, your uncle's families or somebody who's passed away. So obviously, that immediate family, they're in great tragedy, the last thing on their minds is going to be the daily chores and routines. So you should take charge and do whatever you can, if some bills need to be paid to some grocery needs to be done something that you know that they're going to need, so give some food to them. This is also a part of our religion, and our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam did that as well. And of course, when it comes to the theological issues, as well, of the things that should be done, is to do good deeds on behalf of the deceased. And I've given an

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entire lecture, the final lecture I gave on the bedrock series, you can look them up, and in that I discussed the issue of reciting Quran for the dead and the controversy over that so you can go back to that lecture, but overall the concept of gifting good deeds to the dead, this is something that is authentically narrated from the sooner which good deeds and how and when you can go back to that lecture and I went into it in more detail now all of this is the other aspect good enough. Let's get now to the legal aspect the specific legal issues about what is to be done when somebody passes away and leaves behind. Basically the the wife is left behind after her husband passes away. And this is

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in Arabic is called determine the period of Hey, Dad with the hat Hey, Dad. And this is different than the dead by the way, meaning that the Hey dad is the type of leader that takes place for multiple times it takes place when a divorce occurs. Other things we're not talking about those it does today. Today, we're talking about the ADA that takes place when the husband dies, and the wife remains basically alive. So she becomes a widow. So the widows is called Hey, Dad, it's a special type of death. This is the one we're talking about. There are other types of either that's not the topic of today. And this concept of Hey dad. It is mentioned in the Quran explicitly inserted bacara

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inserted Bukhara Allah subhana wa tada says, In verse 24, will lead you to a fundamental model known as weijun, that that those who die and they leave behind their wives. Eliza just said the boss never foreseen out of backlash who didn't wash raw, they should wait concerning themselves for months and 10 days. This is very explicit in the Koran. Those of you who die and leave behind their wives, their wives must wait for months and 10 days this is explicit in the Koran that they must wait What was that? What does it mean they must wait, this is the hated period and the Hadith in Sahih Muslim as well, that the Prophet sallallahu wasallam said that no lady should perform Hey Dad, I will

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explain what it is no lady should perform Hey dad over any person who dies for more than three days, except for her husband, for her husband, she will perform for four months and 10 days. During this time, this is the Heidi during this time, she should not wear dyed garments, except for simple garments, see, she should not put on corporal which is the eye The antimony that is used, and she should not put on any perfume except that when she does rehearsal, you know, after the monthly cycle she may use and to the process of said the basic types of perfume that was used at that point. You can call it the basic soaps that were used at that time. Now this hadith is very explicit. What is

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it saying? It is saying? No person, no lady in particular. And that is because men did not do

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that because men have to go to their daily routine and move on. They're not the ones typically that you know go into a state of mourning it is the women that used to do it in the days of jelenia. And Islam allowed them to do certain things they restricted and allowed in a certain manner. So he that is not done by men, he that is permitted for women. So what is permitted for women as we're going to mention in some cases and wajib and other cases. So what is headed headed is that a woman leaves the extra beautification that she would typically do, of wearing nicer garments of wearing her makeup or putting on her perfume. And so she abandons the the better luxuries of life in order to demonstrate

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grief visibly in her lifestyle. Now, in the days of jelenia, her dad was done by all the women of the household for a long period of time. And by the way to this day, certain things

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cultures and certain faith traditions, including the advocate of faith tradition that has a lot of laws, they also have very strict laws to this day about, you know, what women cannot do and what not. So our shediac came and lifted a lot of these legislations, and what it said was the following.

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If a person passes away,

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Lady related to a lady that is not her husband, so her father, her brother, if anybody passes away in the lady's household, that is not her husband, she may choose to demonstrate her sadness and grief, and to sort of like abandon the the niceties of the luxuries, you know, of lifestyles for three days. And, you know, it's just been a shock for a while. So she's not gonna, you know, take care of herself that well, she'll just wear the, you know, the simplest garments and whatnot. But after three days, she has to just force herself like, That's it, I'm going to get out of this, I'm going to now get back to the normal routine. And it is authentically narrated that one of the wives

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of a prophet so I sent him she lost a brother of hers, this is after the process and passed away, she lost a brother of hers. And then on the fourth day, after the death of her brother, she called for some, you know, a couple and whatnot to be perfectly to put on and she said, I have no desire to do this, I don't want to meaning I'm so sad at the loss of my brother, but our prophets, Allah said him said, it is not allowed to perform his dad for more than three days. So I am basically forcing myself to you know, get back in and this is of handle a good psychological blessing from our religion that for three days, a lady is allowed to, you know, just absorb the shock, take some time,

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but on the fourth day, she just needs to collect her wits just needs to just whatever you know, power she's able to do. And he called upon a lawyer how to patella Bella, and just make dua to Allah, let's just move on from now on and kind of force herself to get back into the game because there's no point just living in that bubble of, of, you know, anger or hurt or depression, what's that going to do? So that's why the Sherry allows that grace period of three days. Now, this is an option, it is not obligatory, if she's able to, neither is it recommended, nor is it mcru. It's just there, it's completely neutral, if a lady wishes to opt in, and she wants to just let that shock you

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know, take its toll on her no problem for three days, you know, eating minimal and just ended wearing the simplest and not really taking care of her hygiene, you know, what, three days okay, but after the third day, she needs to just get out of that phase and just, you know, force herself by Allah's blessings that Allah has power just to get back in. So, this is the option No, again, those three days are neither obligatory nor necessarily recommended normal crew it is just an option if she is able to maintain her lifestyle completely no problem with that at all. Now, this is for any relative other than the husband, okay, what if the husband passes away, this is where we get to the

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special ruling which is well known in our religion and our culture as well. And that is the the depth of the lay the widow of the widow on this call the headed of the widowed lady. So, in this case, as we said, it is not three days it is four months and 10 days. And in this case, it is not something that is permissible, it is something that is obligatory meaning any it is wajib in the generic sense. And again, the issue comes here, why Jim has different levels. So praying five times a day is watching, okay, and observing the hidin is watching. But the level of YouTube is nowhere near the issue of five prayers, but it is still something that needs to be done. And it needs to be

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observed. Now, here we get a lot of questions from our brothers and sisters, especially our sisters. Why is this done? After all, there's no doubt for the man. Why, what is the wisdom behind the Hadith of the ladies. And you know, I have answered this question generically in multiple fatwas. And my personal philosophy is that it is a mistake to emphasize the wisdoms. Why, because the goal, the goal of the Sharia is, in this case might not be known to us, it might not be understood, but it still must be done, even if we don't understand the wisdom. In other words, suppose that I say there's a wisdom that is such and such a lady says, Well, okay, but it doesn't apply to me, will the

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ruling apply? Yes or No, it will apply. So then, what is the point of saying the wisdom is this and that when we don't know Allah did not specify a wisdom. And of course, in the end of the day, we simply do it to please Allah subhanho wa Taala because this is what Allah has told us to do. Now, some have said that this is to honor the marriage contract the rights of the husband, that you know that there's so much that the husband has done and so to repay that kindness back and of course, this could be sent. What if somebody were to come and flip it around, say, Well, okay, how about if the wife did a lot to her husband? He doesn't have to do the same thing. And I don't have an answer

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to that. So again, these are things that the problem of bringing up the wisdoms once again

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And is that a lot of times wisdoms can easily be poked holes in and there's not much to be said about that. Another thing that can be said in this regard as well, some people have said this is that the the issue of what if she's carrying a child and this is a very valid point is that we make want to make sure that because obviously the man is not an issue of he married soon after that, but if a lady marries and she's pregnant from the first husband, that would be very, very awkward. So again, but then the response can be why four months and 10 days, and I don't have a reason because you can discuss these days you can discover pregnancy, you know, in with one test. So, these are all

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wisdoms, one of my teachers, he gave her wisdom as well. But again, it's a general wisdom, Allah knows best. And it's a general wisdom that generally speaking, the the the woman, generally speaking has to,

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she is the one that suffers more of the harshness of the mind and the other way around, generally speaking, it is the man who might say something or do something that he shouldn't have done. And when the lady is, you know, in her house with her husband's house for four months and 10 days, it is at that point in time where she not only thinks of the bad she will also remember the good and the point at this point is one of my teachers said is that so during this timeframe, in shallow data, the good of the man will be much more than the bag so she will ask forgiveness for the man you know, if he has done something he should not have done. This timeframe also allows for the lady to

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remember reminisce of the good times of the kindness and to then ask a lot forgiveness for the man. In the end of the day dear sisters and brothers. These are all wisdoms that are coming from the minds of people we don't know the wisdom and even if we don't understand it, it is very explicit in the Quran. It is very clear in the Hadith as well for months and 10 days. Now, what is to be avoided in this four months and 10 days a number of things. The Hadith mentions the main ones, number one decorative garments now the Hadith mentions dyed garments and you know, some scholars have been very strict any color but you know what, what it means some scholars have been more reasonable The point

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here is that every lady and every man any they have clothes that are regular and day to day, you know who the worn clothes and then they have the fancy garments, everybody does this right even the process and by the way, and so the point of this Hadeeth is that the point of the of the Hadith is that she should not be wearing decorative garments, she should wear the most you know, simple clothes for that timeframe, okay does even if there's some color on it the point because these days, so popular, almost every clothing item has some color on it, and then the days of the profitsystem color was a very expensive thing. So when he said a spool and a dyed garment what what the meaning

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here is that basically the expensive Garmin so and this is always the correct position is that the goal here is that you wear simple clothes, whatever is the regular norm that ever and again this would vary from time to place to culture to family to socioeconomic status, what is simple for a very wealthy couple is not going to be the same as what is simple for a couple that is not so wealthy, but every couple every family knows that this is the the simple thing that I wear. And so during those four months and 10 days, she should never wear any glamorous clothes any glitzy outfit she needs to be very simple. Also, very explicitly, our Prophet sallallahu Sallam said that remove

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the CoCo no Coco and from this, we we also understand any type of decorative makeup you know, any type of of you know, things that are applied to mascara or all that these the makeups that are applied here, they should be avoided. Now, again, in our timeframe, this is a very you know, complex you know, system of makeups and whatnot that which is just what would they call touch ups or what not each other there's no how to gin that but anything that is decorative that is really meant to be beautifying above and beyond you know, the quick to three minutes you know, routine like some root cream, some lotions shaldon that's something that is permissible, but the whole you know, decorative

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stuff that takes a long periods of time and this that is something that should be avoided during those four months and 10 days also jewelry, anything that is Xena. Now, some scholars have made an exception that if it's something that she has been wearing as the regular throughout her life, and others say she should try to take it off during this timeframe, but definitely she should not be dressing up in anything extra jewelry during this timeframe performance and 10 days now again, these are above and beyond, she should maintain her personal hygiene, she should maintain her regular routine of you know, showers and and you know, combing her hair what not, but the point is to go out

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of her way and to deck herself out. This is something that should be avoided for four months and for 10 days. Okay, so this is something that is very clear from the ahaadeeth. Now, the other issue comes the the big issue here is where must she stay. And again, there's quite a lot of discussion even amongst the Sahaba. By the way, this is a ruling that the format has they had an opinion but amongst the Sahaba we have a very dire

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You know, are very heated if you like two sides. And again, I'm not going to go into advanced detail here, you either ask the chef that you trust, or if you're trusting the position that that I have, after the research that I've done in the positions that I've hold my position, my summary of it, this is not the time to go into 50 details, the summary of it is as follows. The default position is that the widow should live those four months and 10 days in the house that she used to live in with her husband. If it is logistically feasible to do so. The default what you what you resort to as Plan A is that she should, she should be in the house where her husband and her used to live

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basically the couple used to live their regular residence. And so for example, if they're on vacation, somewhere, he passes away on vacation, she doesn't remain in the hotel for four months and 10 days, she will return to the house that they used to occupy. And she will live there for four months and 10 days. However, this is the default. However, if there is any reasonable logistical issue anything, not not necessarily life and death situation, anything that becomes a nuisance, that we call it an Erica heritage, not necessarily the difficulty to the level of Bora Bora. But something that makes life awkward or difficult. For example, if she is all alone in a city, and

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there are no relatives, and she's elderly, and she she can go get some food to the neighbors. But it's a very difficult thing. Nobody's going to look after her. In this case, insha Allah Allah there is no how much no sin for her to move into her son's house in another city or any place, and she stays in that location for four months and 10 days and takes that as a base for the formance and the 10 days. And if something happens during that interim where she is forced to move to another place, so be it, the point is that she should try hernia should be the default should be I'm going to remain in the house of my marriage, or at least the marriage remains, and the last place that her

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husband or her were living in. And if that's not possible, then I'll move to the house of a Muharram that is safe for four months and 10 days. And if something needs to happen, and she moves in Sharla, no problem there as well. Also, it is authentically narrated from a number of companions, that their daughters, their husbands passed away. And they would tell their daughters to come through their houses during the daytime. And then they would send them back at night to the houses of their husbands. So what is allowed during the daytime, she may exit the house for any legitimate need, you know, whether she if she is working and she has to go to work or she's visiting her parents or

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whatnot, she may leave during the daytime and then she should spend the night she should get to her house and spend the night in the house of her husband. That is the the the the ruling she is allowed to leave during the daytime for any need of hers. And this need doesn't have to be as I said, life threatening even if she's lonely, she wants to visit her her daughter or something and just you know, anxiety is increasing. But she should try her best to go back to the house where she is living performance and test net 10 days. Now again, if something happens, and she doesn't spend every single night there, there's no explanation or casado. But she should ask a lot forgiveness and try

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her best to to do that. And once again, this level of strictness of staying in that house, it can be mitigated in terms of any in case of any health issue, and the age issue, any logistical issue, any psychological issue, if it's really an issue for the lady to remain alone, inshallah to Allah make alternative arrangements that where they can stay, but still, the default should be that there should be the position that she stays with them in the place of her husband's residence for four months, and for 10 days. And then after that, and of course, this begins from the day that she that the husband passes away. And so that will be the first day. And so you go for four months and 10

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days is a lunar month, not solar month, so you can count the lunar months, count them, and you can make an average of 30 days, you know, so that's

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four times 30 plus 10. So that's going to be 140 days, so 140 days from the date of the the death, the death of the of the husband, after that, then all of the restrictions are lifted, and she can go back to normal. And of course, obviously, of the restrictions. And obviously the most obvious one is that marriage is not allowed if she's a lady that you know, is young and wants to get married again. So for that timeframe, there can be no concrete proposal much less any nikka. The Quran allows for an indirect proposal. And an indirect proposal is that news comes through somebody comes through and basically generically says, you know, for example that I'm you know, I'm interested in getting

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married, for example, that obviously, this is will vary from time to place that the Quran does not allow an explicit proposal or an explicit acceptance, this is how long for performance and 10 days there should be a period of mourning, but in case sanity, for example, sometimes a lady doesn't know what's going to happen. What am I going to go after performance in 10 days? And so maybe you know, a gentleman is

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wanting to get married and he just generically says, you know, I'm looking for a wife and maybe in a few weeks we'll see what is possible leave it at that, you know, just leave the hint is given that that constellation is there that okay inshallah something can be happening at that time but the Sharia does not allow explicit marriage in this timeframe, in fact, not even an explicit proposal during this timeframe. So, these are the laws of the of the headed