Issues of Marriage #13
Date:
Channel: Adnan Rajeh
Series: Adnan Rajeh - Issues of Marriage
File Size: 4.92MB
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AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses the importance of acknowledging people's weaknesses and strengths in life. They emphasize the need to prioritize one's own worth and not allow oneself to go down the path of hating or missing out on something. The speaker also warns against trying to be a well-trained man and suggests that people should zoom out and see the bigger picture of what life is about.Transcript ©
The word has has origins that I'm not
gonna waste your time knowing in Arabic poetry,
but it's it's a word that is used
for when 2 people, you know, have affinity
and then they stop liking each other suddenly
and it turns into the opposite, which is
the case in marriages a lot. And this
is why he said
May a believer not hate
or turn allow himself to go down the
route of hating his wife, if she is
also a believer. And I witnessed this when
I was younger, I think I thought of
my shuh, and one of his students who
was a maybe a decade or more older
than I was, and he came in and
he told him he started complaining to him
about his wife.
He started complaining to the sheikh about his
wife, and she does this, and she said
this, and her parents, and her father, and
her mother,
and all this stuff. So his answer was
very
very simple. He said, (5:5)
He
said,
(5:5)
He said, Yes.
Get up then.
Get up and go.
Go show perseverance and deal with your wife.
As long as she says, La Iida haylallah,
then you're
blessed. You're blessed. You have someone who at
least agrees with you on 99% of
what life is about.
We agree sitting in this message here on
99% of everything that is that is about
life. What we disagree upon is a slither
that is Yes, it's magnified by all of
us because that's human nature, but it's very
very simple. We agree on most things.
At least that we agree about them important
stuff. The big questions and the big answers
that come with them. We agree with that.
You can get along with people who you
disagree with on every fundamental question in the
world, but then you find some way to
fight over a simple And this is just
enough,
This is just the the selfishness and the
lack of,
yeah, any humbleness and lack of humility and
the lack of, any selflessness and love and
and compassion. It's just it's just a problem
on the inside that most of the time,
aside from being they're being abused. And he
explained
how.
If you dislike one characteristic about her,
you'll find some other characteristic that you like
and you can focus on that. You're not
gonna meet someone where you like everything about
them. That person doesn't exist.
You don't even like everything about yourself,
To like everything about someone else. Right? You
can't even like yourself to like others. So,
the person that you're looking for doesn't exist,
and even if they did exist, you'd find
a way to mess it up and find
something you don't like about them or you
would with your bad characters,
change their good characters into something that you
don't like and then not like them for
something that you caused in the first place,
you see? It becomes very complicated. But it
goes down to the same basic stuff that
we don't have the ability to, you know,
to to to seek such degree, such
a degree of compatibility that we think is
that we've been alluded to think that is
possible. It's just not possible. You have to
compromise. You have to accept certain Have to
take the good and the bad. Yeah. You
have to take the good and the bad
from everything in life. I don't know why
it's different when it comes to human beings.
I don't know why it's different when it
comes to companions
companionship
or friends or spouses or you take the
good and the bad in life. I never
were you ever told that here, all good
or here, all bad. It's always going to
be a mix of of the 2. So,
prioritize and figure out what's really worth
living for, living by, and what's worth, what's
not. Figure out what is valuable and what
doesn't matter that much and if you have
something that is valuable, do not turn away
from it. Don't get rid of it because
that could cause you problems later. Allah sees
you
looking down on a blessing that he gave
you because of your lack of ability, being
grateful
and then maybe he doesn't give you something
else again Or maybe he takes that away
for InshaAllah he doesn't. Subhanahu wa ta'ala.
But sometimes that happens. And this this prophetic
piece of advice
is just it's perfect.
Just don't fill your don't allow yourself to
go down the path of hating or No.
If she won't mean that, if you don't
like one thing, then you'll like something else
and life will move on. And the sun
will come up from the east and you'll
be fine and so will she. And I
think this is something that in modern in
the modern world, we have really lost
we're
losing this peace.
We're we're becoming I'm having I'm not a
marriage counselor and I don't do family therapy
and I never will. But sometimes, Yani, whether
I like it or not, I have to
hear someone and the complaints that I listen
to are very pathetic.
They really are, yeah, especially from the Shabab,
for the men. They're very pathetic. I almost
feel like I have to have like
a well built man in my room, so
every time someone complains that he just, you
know, straightens them out a little bit. Just
straighten them out a little bit.
This is not you're complaining about stuff, Yani.
That that's not, it's not appropriate. She she's
doing more than than whatever it is that,
Yani, what she needs to do and you're
just being way too picky and you're just
lacking a little bit of humility and humbleness.
You're lacking your ability to see what your
role is as a protector and a provider
and someone who's there to take care of
a family. And I think I think we
should all
zoom out a little bit and see the
bigger picture of what of what life actually
is
knew what he was talking about.
knew what he was talking about.