Issues of Marriage #13

Adnan Rajeh

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Channel: Adnan Rajeh

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AI: Summary © The speaker discusses the importance of acknowledging people's weaknesses and strengths in life. They emphasize the need to prioritize one's own worth and not allow oneself to go down the path of hating or missing out on something. The speaker also warns against trying to be a well-trained man and suggests that people should zoom out and see the bigger picture of what life is about.
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The word has has origins that I'm not

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gonna waste your time knowing in Arabic poetry,

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but it's it's a word that is used

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for when 2 people, you know, have affinity

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and then they stop liking each other suddenly

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and it turns into the opposite, which is

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the case in marriages a lot. And this

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is why he said

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May a believer not hate

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or turn allow himself to go down the

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route of hating his wife, if she is

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also a believer. And I witnessed this when

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I was younger, I think I thought of

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my shuh, and one of his students who

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was a maybe a decade or more older

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than I was, and he came in and

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he told him he started complaining to him

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about his wife.

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He started complaining to the sheikh about his

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wife, and she does this, and she said

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this, and her parents, and her father, and

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her mother,

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and all this stuff. So his answer was

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very

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very simple. He said, (5:5)

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He

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said,

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(5:5)

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He said, Yes.

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Get up then.

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Get up and go.

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Go show perseverance and deal with your wife.

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As long as she says, La Iida haylallah,

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then you're

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blessed. You're blessed. You have someone who at

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least agrees with you on 99% of

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what life is about.

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We agree sitting in this message here on

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99% of everything that is that is about

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life. What we disagree upon is a slither

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that is Yes, it's magnified by all of

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us because that's human nature, but it's very

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very simple. We agree on most things.

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At least that we agree about them important

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stuff. The big questions and the big answers

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that come with them. We agree with that.

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You can get along with people who you

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disagree with on every fundamental question in the

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world, but then you find some way to

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fight over a simple And this is just

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enough,

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This is just the the selfishness and the

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lack of,

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yeah, any humbleness and lack of humility and

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the lack of, any selflessness and love and

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and compassion. It's just it's just a problem

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on the inside that most of the time,

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aside from being they're being abused. And he

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explained

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how.

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If you dislike one characteristic about her,

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you'll find some other characteristic that you like

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and you can focus on that. You're not

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gonna meet someone where you like everything about

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them. That person doesn't exist.

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You don't even like everything about yourself,

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To like everything about someone else. Right? You

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can't even like yourself to like others. So,

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the person that you're looking for doesn't exist,

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and even if they did exist, you'd find

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a way to mess it up and find

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something you don't like about them or you

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would with your bad characters,

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change their good characters into something that you

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don't like and then not like them for

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something that you caused in the first place,

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you see? It becomes very complicated. But it

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goes down to the same basic stuff that

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we don't have the ability to, you know,

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to to to seek such degree, such

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a degree of compatibility that we think is

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that we've been alluded to think that is

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possible. It's just not possible. You have to

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compromise. You have to accept certain Have to

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take the good and the bad. Yeah. You

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have to take the good and the bad

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from everything in life. I don't know why

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it's different when it comes to human beings.

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I don't know why it's different when it

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comes to companions

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companionship

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or friends or spouses or you take the

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good and the bad in life. I never

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were you ever told that here, all good

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or here, all bad. It's always going to

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be a mix of of the 2. So,

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prioritize and figure out what's really worth

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living for, living by, and what's worth, what's

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not. Figure out what is valuable and what

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doesn't matter that much and if you have

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something that is valuable, do not turn away

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from it. Don't get rid of it because

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that could cause you problems later. Allah sees

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you

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looking down on a blessing that he gave

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you because of your lack of ability, being

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grateful

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and then maybe he doesn't give you something

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else again Or maybe he takes that away

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for InshaAllah he doesn't. Subhanahu wa ta'ala.

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But sometimes that happens. And this this prophetic

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piece of advice

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is just it's perfect.

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Just don't fill your don't allow yourself to

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go down the path of hating or No.

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If she won't mean that, if you don't

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like one thing, then you'll like something else

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and life will move on. And the sun

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will come up from the east and you'll

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be fine and so will she. And I

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think this is something that in modern in

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the modern world, we have really lost

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we're

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losing this peace.

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We're we're becoming I'm having I'm not a

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marriage counselor and I don't do family therapy

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and I never will. But sometimes, Yani, whether

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I like it or not, I have to

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hear someone and the complaints that I listen

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to are very pathetic.

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They really are, yeah, especially from the Shabab,

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for the men. They're very pathetic. I almost

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feel like I have to have like

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a well built man in my room, so

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every time someone complains that he just, you

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know, straightens them out a little bit. Just

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straighten them out a little bit.

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This is not you're complaining about stuff, Yani.

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That that's not, it's not appropriate. She she's

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doing more than than whatever it is that,

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Yani, what she needs to do and you're

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just being way too picky and you're just

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lacking a little bit of humility and humbleness.

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You're lacking your ability to see what your

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role is as a protector and a provider

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and someone who's there to take care of

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a family. And I think I think we

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should all

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zoom out a little bit and see the

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bigger picture of what of what life actually

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is

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knew what he was talking about.

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knew what he was talking about.