Taleem al-Quran 2010 – Juz 04 – L056C

Taimiyyah Zubair


Channel: Taimiyyah Zubair


File Size: 19.21MB

Episode Notes

An-Nisa 15-25 Word-Analysis and Tafsir 19-21

Share Page

Transcript ©

AI generated text may display inaccurate or offensive information that doesn’t represent Muslim Central's views. Thus,no part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever.

00:00:02--> 00:00:05

Billahi min ash shaytani r rajim Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim

00:00:07--> 00:00:10

lesson number 56 sola to Nyssa.

00:00:11--> 00:00:13

We'll begin from number 19.

00:00:15--> 00:00:17

Yeah, are you Hello Dina amanu

00:00:18--> 00:00:24

all you who have believed laya Hill Lula cone, it is not lawful for you

00:00:25--> 00:00:28

and that is on Nisa occur her

00:00:29--> 00:00:32

that you inherit women by compulsion.

00:00:33--> 00:00:43

It is not allowed for you. It is not lawful for you that you inherit women just as you inherit the property, the estate of a deceased person.

00:00:45--> 00:00:49

In the previous ayat, we learned about Toba about repentance.

00:00:51--> 00:00:53

That which repentance is accepted by our last panel title

00:00:55--> 00:00:58

for the sin that a person has committed out of ignorance,

00:00:59--> 00:01:09

whether that ignorance is complete lack of knowledge, or that ignorance is temporary, being overcome by emotion which blinds a person and as a result, he commits the sin.

00:01:10--> 00:01:16

And as soon as he realizes that what he has done is wrong. What does he do?

00:01:17--> 00:01:22

Your two Boolean query, then such a person, his repentance is accepted.

00:01:24--> 00:01:30

Now we see that in the Arab society, before Islam, there were many, many practices, which were incorrect,

00:01:31--> 00:01:43

that were unjust towards the orphans, towards the women. And all those practices was that they would inherit women just as they would inherit the property of the deceased person.

00:01:45--> 00:01:58

Now, as long as a person does something out of ignorance, he's forgiven. But as soon as he realizes that what he has done is wrong. As soon as he learns, then he is accountable, which is why he must repent.

00:01:59--> 00:02:05

So amongst the wrong practices that existed in the Arabs was inheriting women.

00:02:06--> 00:02:13

And we can see that within us as well within our society within our personal lives, we may have been committing a lot of wrong things before.

00:02:15--> 00:02:17

But what is it that a true believer must do?

00:02:18--> 00:02:26

that as soon as he realizes that this is not acceptable to my Rob, this is something that is forbidden, what should a person do?

00:02:27--> 00:02:29

Your tubal mencari

00:02:30--> 00:02:33

he should repent, as soon as he realizes,

00:02:34--> 00:02:42

because if he defers, if he delays, if he rejects, then he is only inviting punishment for himself.

00:02:43--> 00:02:46

Over here in this AI in particular, what is being said

00:02:47--> 00:02:49

that it is not permissible for you to inherit women.

00:02:51--> 00:02:59

We learned that in pre Islamic Arabia, the person who died, the deceased, his successors inherited his wealth,

00:03:00--> 00:03:04

his heirs, what would they do? They inherited his wealth.

00:03:05--> 00:03:18

And his wealth included all of his estate, his property, his house, his money, his slaves, all of these were distributed amongst the IRS. And sometimes they weren't distributed, but rather, somebody would just come up and take everything for himself,

00:03:19--> 00:03:24

such as the oldest son, or such as an adopted son or a Hanif.

00:03:26--> 00:03:43

Now, amongst the things that were distributed, or amongst the things that were considered as a property of the deceased person, was his wives as well as his orphan, daughters, his wives, as well as his orphan daughters.

00:03:44--> 00:04:10

So the heirs, what would they do that just as they would inherit the money, similarly, they would marry these women, meaning the wives of the deceased person, or the orphaned daughter is off the deceased person. Either they would marry them themselves, or they would give them in marriage to others, without the consent without the permission of the women?

00:04:12--> 00:04:12

What would they do?

00:04:14--> 00:04:26

Either they would marry themselves, or they would give those women in marriage to others. And when they would give those women in marriage to others, what would they do? They would keep them or hurt themselves.

00:04:27--> 00:04:32

So for instance, they would say I will give you this woman in marriage as long as you give me 50,000. So until

00:04:33--> 00:04:37

So, this was one practice that was common amongst the Arabs.

00:04:38--> 00:04:46

And if the woman, let's say she was not that beautiful, she was not that attractive, or she was very old, then what would they do?

00:04:47--> 00:04:58

They wouldn't want to marry these women themselves. So instead, they would keep those women confined in the houses until those women would die and then they will take their work.

00:05:00--> 00:05:12

A widow, she was not allowed to remarry. She was not allowed to go back to her parents house, she was not allowed to live an independent life with her children. But rather, she was kept confined in the house of who,

00:05:13--> 00:05:21

of the heirs of her husband until she died. And who would take the money that she left behind? Who would take the airs.

00:05:23--> 00:05:29

And sometimes the sons of the deceased, even the sons, what would they do?

00:05:31--> 00:05:33

They would marry the widow of their father.

00:05:35--> 00:05:46

Like, for instance, a man had two wives, from the first wife, he had a son, now he dies. So the son from the first wife, what does he do? He marries the second wife of the Father,

00:05:47--> 00:05:50

he would marry the second wife of the Father.

00:05:51--> 00:06:08

It has also been said that what a man would die, leaving behind his wife, and one of the closest relatives, such as the eldest son, or the brother, he would get up and put a shawl or a garment on top of the widow. And that symbolize that this woman is now mine,

00:06:09--> 00:06:32

he would get up and he would put a shawl or a garment on top of the widow. And that would symbolize that this woman is mine. And that it was up to him, either he would marry her, or he would let her stay in the house until she died, or he would give her in marriage to someone else. And obviously, all of this was without her approval. without her consent. It was against her will.

00:06:34--> 00:06:42

So over here, Alice has yet a human, Latina woman, or you who have believed meaning Are you believers.

00:06:43--> 00:06:49

And notice that has been said believers. Why? Because if you're believers, and this is something that is mandatory for you,

00:06:51--> 00:06:52

this is a requirement of your email.

00:06:54--> 00:06:59

It doesn't suit a believer to do something like this. It doesn't benefit a believer.

00:07:00--> 00:07:04

A believer would never do something like this. And if you do it, what does that show?

00:07:05--> 00:07:07

deficiency in your email?

00:07:08--> 00:07:10

There is some problem in your email.

00:07:12--> 00:07:15

So if you're truly believers, then you must follow this command.

00:07:17--> 00:07:17

What is it

00:07:18--> 00:07:27

that lay your Hindu it is not Hillel? It is not permissible. And what is not halal is how the opposite of halal is haram.

00:07:29--> 00:07:29

So what does it mean?

00:07:30--> 00:07:36

That Allah has not allowed this for you? Meaning This is completely forbidden on you?

00:07:37--> 00:07:38

What is completely forbidden?

00:07:40--> 00:07:43

And Teddy, so Nyssa that you inherit the women

00:07:45--> 00:07:51

32 from the EU countries well, author from the word wheel author, and what does that mean?

00:07:52--> 00:07:56

to inherit, to be an heir to someone or someone's property.

00:07:58--> 00:08:02

So when someone dies, their possessions, they're taken by their ears.

00:08:04--> 00:08:11

So it is not permissible for you that you inherit a Nisa the women how Gohan forcibly?

00:08:13--> 00:08:17

Now, what does it mean by Anthony so Nyssa that you inherit the women?

00:08:18--> 00:08:21

What it means by inheriting the woman?

00:08:22--> 00:08:26

And which women are these, the widows, right, the widow of the deceased

00:08:27--> 00:08:32

by inheriting the woman what is meant is that you inherit the nikka with them,

00:08:33--> 00:08:35

that you inherit nikka with them,

00:08:36--> 00:08:42

that your brother or your father or your relative, he had nica with so until a woman

00:08:44--> 00:08:55

now if he passed away, automatically, you don't inherit the nigga who that woman because the Arabs, they wouldn't just keep the woman like that and treat her as a slave. No, they would actually marry them.

00:08:56--> 00:09:05

So the women were treated just like any other commodity, just like any other property. However, what they will do is that upon inheriting the women, they would actually get married to them.

00:09:06--> 00:09:10

And if they didn't want to get married, they would just leave them to die in the houses.

00:09:12--> 00:09:26

So until recently, so what does it mean that you inherit nikka with them, that just as you inherit the deceased? Well, you must not inherit the nikka that that diseased man had with his wife, you cannot do that.

00:09:28--> 00:09:34

Secondly, it has been separate entity from NASA. What it means is that you inherit the wealth of the women,

00:09:35--> 00:09:44

meaning the wealth that the woman owns the wealth that a woman has gained has earned or she has received from her husband when he was alive.

00:09:45--> 00:09:51

Now, you're not going to confine her in her house until she dies, so that you can inherit her wealth

00:09:52--> 00:09:54

so that you can inherit her property.

00:09:56--> 00:09:59

And you see this was something that seemed very politically correct.

00:10:00--> 00:10:10

You're keeping the woman in your house, or in a separate house. And her property is with her, her wealth is with her, you're not taking the wealth, but you're just waiting for her to die.

00:10:11--> 00:10:13

And as soon as she dies, you have everything.

00:10:15--> 00:10:23

Now, one was that they would go and kill the woman. And in some cultures, it's actually done, that when the husband dies, and his body is being burned, the wife also has to be burnt.

00:10:24--> 00:10:32

So this was something very similar that the Arabs did, that they would let the woman die so that they would inherit her property.

00:10:33--> 00:10:35

And that is a Nyssa Gohan, forcibly.

00:10:37--> 00:10:38

Caroline is on the river federal scaffold.

00:10:39--> 00:10:57

And as you know, what I'll have is when somebody dislike when somebody does something, when somebody Horace something, reject something. And from this, the worker is also used for compulsion that when someone is forced to do something against their will.

00:10:59--> 00:11:02

And why does a person need to be forced to do something against their will?

00:11:03--> 00:11:09

Because it's possible that they find it difficult. They don't like it. They don't agree with it. They find it very difficult.

00:11:10--> 00:11:23

So I'm Teresa Callahan. What does I mean by common? Meaning don't force these women into marriage with you? Don't force these women into marriage with you.

00:11:24--> 00:11:53

She was married to your brother, or she was married to your father. What right do you have to force her to marry you? You don't have it. It's her choice. It's her will. So don't force her into marriage with you. Because after the death of a widow, she has the choice. She has the right to decide as to who she wants to get married to. And if she wants to get married, it's her choice.

00:11:54--> 00:12:04

She cannot be forced by either her wedding, or by her husband's children or by anybody else. She cannot be forced. It's her choice.

00:12:05--> 00:12:10

Remember that a divorced woman and a widow. Her case is different from a virgin.

00:12:11--> 00:12:12

Her case is completely different.

00:12:13--> 00:12:25

For a virgin for a young girl, she needs the permission of her Wendy. And also the virgin her while he can marry her to someone with her approval and approval means even sign into approval.

00:12:27--> 00:12:44

But for a widow, or a divorced woman, she does not need the permission. Once he decides the well he has to give her a marriage to so and so. It's her decision. It's her choice. Nobody can force her. Nobody can tell her.

00:12:45--> 00:12:58

So do not inherit the women by compulsion. Meeting by force. If they wish to get married to somebody, let them get married. Don't confine them in their houses until they die.

00:12:59--> 00:13:02

And if they don't want to get married to you don't marry them.

00:13:03--> 00:13:09

And if there are your father's wives, then they're completely forbidden on you. How can you marry your father's wife

00:13:10--> 00:13:12

and Teresa aka

00:13:13--> 00:13:28

well that's terrible ohana and do not hinder them, do not forbid them. Later Habu so that you take away B bar of Lima, to ohana with some of that which you gave them

00:13:29--> 00:13:31

What a terrible

00:13:32--> 00:13:36

terrible Omen is from the roof actress I love love

00:13:37--> 00:13:38

rain, but no.

00:13:40--> 00:13:50

Either is to prevent or to stop someone with harshness. It is to prevent or to stop someone very strictly, very strictly

00:13:52--> 00:13:57

that you don't allow them at all in a very harsh manner. In a very strict min

00:13:58--> 00:14:09

and from this The word albala is also to straighten the circumstances of someone meaning make life very difficult for them. So it is as though someone is being harassed.

00:14:10--> 00:14:17

So let out alumina. First of all, what does it mean to not prevent them, do not constrict them, do not borrow them.

00:14:18--> 00:14:22

Secondly, do not straighten their circumstances meaning you're not going to find them in their houses.

00:14:23--> 00:14:27

And also Allah is to withhold something unjustly

00:14:28--> 00:14:30

is to withhold something unjustly.

00:14:32--> 00:14:40

So if you do that, if you're stopping them or if you are confining them in their houses, what is this injustice, this is one

00:14:41--> 00:14:43

so letter aluminum do not hinder them.

00:14:45--> 00:14:47

Now what does it mean by this ladder of aluminum?

00:14:48--> 00:14:57

This has been understood in a number of ways. First of all, it is said that the address in letter of blue one this is to the husband

00:14:59--> 00:15:00

the first part of

00:15:00--> 00:15:01

If that address was to

00:15:02--> 00:15:03

the heirs,

00:15:04--> 00:15:06

it was to the heirs of the deceased.

00:15:07--> 00:15:12

Now the addresses to the husband himself. What does it mean by that?

00:15:13--> 00:15:16

It is said that a man, he would not like his wife.

00:15:17--> 00:15:21

For instance, a man gets married to a woman. And after a few days, he finds that he doesn't like

00:15:22--> 00:15:27

either her physical appearance or her manners or her way of talking, whatever.

00:15:28--> 00:15:42

He expected something else, she has turned out to be something else. Or he doesn't like her anymore. He likes somebody else. So a man he would not like living with his wife. And she had received money from him at the time of marriage.

00:15:44--> 00:15:53

Just imagine a man and woman got married, the man gave my heart to the woman at the time of marriage. And it was a lot of money, or whatever it was, it was a lot for the man to give.

00:15:54--> 00:15:57

Now, when they get married, the man doesn't like her. What does he want?

00:15:58--> 00:16:01

He wants to get rid of her. He wants to divorce her.

00:16:02--> 00:16:11

But if he divorces her, what's the law? He cannot take back to my wife. So what would these men do? And what to some men do even today

00:16:12--> 00:16:14

that they harass the woman.

00:16:15--> 00:16:24

They make life miserable for the woman, very difficult for the woman where she's not at fault at all. Why?

00:16:25--> 00:16:28

So that the woman is forced to take hold.

00:16:30--> 00:16:37

She is forced to take divorce. And how does a woman take divorce that she has to give the money back to the man.

00:16:38--> 00:16:43

So they would harass the woman just so that she would give up her money in order to free herself.

00:16:45--> 00:16:48

And this is something that is done today as well. Very common today.

00:16:49--> 00:16:55

Thanks, for instance, a woman, she is forced to work where she is forced to bring money home.

00:16:56--> 00:17:02

And if she brings money home, she's forced to give it up to her husband. And if her parents are well off, she's forced to bring money from them.

00:17:03--> 00:17:25

And if she doesn't, she is treated very harshly, she has to go through a lot of difficulty. She's treated in a very rough manner. And because she cannot stand that disgrace of entity, what does she do? She wants to take divorce. This was a Jay Haley tradition. This was a JD practice. But unfortunately, this J. Leah even exists today.

00:17:27--> 00:17:33

Similarly, we learned that letter a balloon that a man he would marry an older woman,

00:17:34--> 00:17:47

an older woman, meaning a woman from a good social class from a good social status, from a very good tribe from a good family, very rich, very well off. So he would marry an older woman. But again, after the marriage, he would not get along with her.

00:17:48--> 00:17:55

So he would divorce her on the condition that she would not marry someone without his permission.

00:17:57--> 00:18:04

He would only divorce her under condition that she would not get married to another man, except with His permission.

00:18:05--> 00:18:27

So let's say the woman gets divorced, and after some time, she gets some proposals, and she wants to get married. So she would have to take permission from the ex husband. Do you allow me Is this okay? And in order to get his approval, his permission, sometimes he would have to offer him gifts. So literally, he would be barely met at a time when and if the woman offered a big gift he would allow

00:18:28--> 00:18:37

and if she didn't know it. So in this way, the women although they had been divorced, they were prevented albala they will prevent it from what?

00:18:38--> 00:18:47

From marrying another man. Why? So that the first husband, he could get some money out of her.

00:18:48--> 00:18:50

He could get some money out of her.

00:18:51--> 00:19:17

And sometimes this is done today through blackmailing. And through emotionally blackmailing the other. Like, for instance, a woman she gets divorced, and now she wants to get married to another man. And what happens? The family of the previous husband, they come and they say negative things about the woman. And they completely ruin her character and everything, her family even Why? So that she does not get married to someone else.

00:19:19--> 00:19:24

She didn't accept us. She didn't stay with us. She's not going anywhere else either.

00:19:25--> 00:19:26

This is something that is done today as well.

00:19:28--> 00:19:39

The third meaning of this is, as we learned earlier, in sort of locked up, that a man he would get married to his wife, and he would divorce her. And during their ADA, he would take her back.

00:19:40--> 00:19:52

And again, he would divorce her and during the day he would take her back. And at that time, there was no limit to the number of divorces. Why? So that a woman would eventually return them out and free herself.

00:19:53--> 00:19:59

So over here, the husbands they're being addressed that you are not allowed to oppress your women.

00:20:00--> 00:20:21

hinder your women, prevent them, bar them, confine them, not allow them to live peacefully, or to marry somebody else after divorce with you. Don't do that, so that you can take some of their money, it doesn't have to be about him it to woman so that you can take some of the money that you had given them.

00:20:23--> 00:20:33

It has often been said that one letter of alumina, this address is not to the husbands, but rather it is to the earlier to the guardians. It is to the guardians of the women,

00:20:34--> 00:20:35

then how do we understand the

00:20:37--> 00:20:48

first of all, we see that an orphan girl, she would be under the guardianship of a man, an orphan girl would be under the guardianship of a man who would keep her until she died,

00:20:49--> 00:20:57

he would not marry her himself, he would not let her get married, until the orphan girl would die.

00:20:58--> 00:21:00

And then he would take her well.

00:21:02--> 00:21:16

So over here, these earlier these guardians are being told, let out Illumina do not jail, the women do not confine the women, that you keep them in their houses until they die, don't let them get married. Why?

00:21:18--> 00:21:19

So that you can take their wealth.

00:21:20--> 00:21:37

Because if they get married to somebody else, what's going to happen, their wealth is going to go to them. And if they have children, the wealth is going to go to them. Whereas if you don't let them get married, and they stay in your house until they die, who takes the wealth, who takes a wealth, you as a guardian.

00:21:38--> 00:21:46

So let our blue dawn hinder them from getting married. Don't stop them from getting married.

00:21:47--> 00:21:54

Similarly, we see that the guardians, they would also prevent the widows from getting married after their

00:21:56--> 00:21:56


00:21:58--> 00:22:01

Again, so that as soon as the widow dies, the money comes to me.

00:22:02--> 00:22:05

And if she gets married to somebody else, what's going to happen,

00:22:06--> 00:22:07

her money is going to go to them.

00:22:08--> 00:22:13

So these men, they would not allow the widows to get married, so that they could keep their wealth.

00:22:15--> 00:22:19

So that that balloon do not hinder the women

00:22:20--> 00:22:26

later, so that you take baby, to ohana, with some of that which you gave them

00:22:27--> 00:22:31

meaning with some of the wealth that you gave them at the time of marriage, and afterwards

00:22:32--> 00:22:42

in law, except now this is an exception exception to what I have a woman so that she gives up her much

00:22:45--> 00:22:48

of a woman so that she gives a promotion to the husband.

00:22:49--> 00:22:52

So only in one situation, this is allowed.

00:22:53--> 00:23:05

Meaning a man is only allowed to treat the woman like this so that she gives a promo her only in the case where a Deena that they come meaning that the women commit before he shot a movie

00:23:07--> 00:23:13

that they commit a Fantasia that is mobile unit an act of indecency. That is clear.

00:23:14--> 00:23:22

What does it mean by mobile you know, meaning it is clear in itself it is proven, it is obvious that the woman has committed Fantasia.

00:23:23--> 00:23:24

What is fashion?

00:23:26--> 00:23:28

fetish over here has been understood as Xena

00:23:30--> 00:23:31

illegal sexual intercourse.

00:23:33--> 00:23:38

And according to some it may also be referring to surfac meaning women indulging in lesbianism.

00:23:40--> 00:23:46

So, LA, Tina Fey shut the mobile unit meaning it is obvious you have seen your wife indulge in this act yourself.

00:23:47--> 00:23:53

And remember, earlier we read that if a woman is accused of Zina, then what has to be done?

00:23:54--> 00:23:55

For witnesses have to be brought.

00:23:56--> 00:24:04

But imagine if a husband if he sees his wife isn't going to go call other people to witness is he know.

00:24:05--> 00:24:08

So, we see that the case of a husband and wife is different

00:24:09--> 00:24:11

and that inshallah we will learn sort of the news.

00:24:12--> 00:24:19

in whichever man he finds out that his wife has committed Zina, then in that case, there is a process of Leon

00:24:20--> 00:24:21

what is God?

00:24:22--> 00:24:31

inshallah we will read the details in order to know but basically, it is a process of the Atonement of the nica where the husband accuses the wife of Xena.

00:24:33--> 00:24:38

So if the husband knows for sure, and this is Fantasia T Mobile,

00:24:39--> 00:24:44

like, for instance has been has been away for two years. And he comes back and finds that his wife is pregnant.

00:24:45--> 00:24:45

What does that mean?

00:24:47--> 00:24:51

She did dinner. So, in this case, it's fashion in Mumbai. You know,

00:24:52--> 00:24:59

it's clearly fashionable, you know, it's clearly dinner, or a man sees his wife doing something like that, then in that case,

00:25:00--> 00:25:01

Obviously you cannot live with that woman.

00:25:02--> 00:25:03

Is it fair?

00:25:04--> 00:25:05

Can you live with that woman?

00:25:06--> 00:25:13

No, he cannot. The woman does not like her husband anymore. She has left her husband cheated him and gone to somebody else.

00:25:14--> 00:25:24

So in this case, it's not fair for the men, that a woman goes away keeping him or her know, he should get back what he gave her,

00:25:25--> 00:25:26

he should get back what he gave her.

00:25:27--> 00:25:39

So in this case, in the case of Xena, the man may do other of the woman until she gives back the Maha so that he can take back the wealth that he gave her in the first place.

00:25:40--> 00:25:49

Others have said that fair Hashem obey Hina this refers to new shoes, what is new shoes inshallah we will learn in the next shoes.

00:25:50--> 00:25:57

My shoes is basically the rebellion of a woman against her husband, the rebellion of a woman against her husband.

00:25:58--> 00:26:05

What is that? Stark disobedience. The husband says something very nicely to her. She's yells back at him.

00:26:06--> 00:26:25

She doesn't give any respect to him. She doesn't treat him like a human being. She looks down upon him. She never obeys him, she rejects him. She doesn't listen to him in any way whatsoever. To the extent that even in her speech, in her behavior in her manner, she is rude and offensive. And she doesn't give the hook of the husband.

00:26:27--> 00:26:32

So if a woman is being like this towards her husband, do we see this today?

00:26:33--> 00:26:43

That's common today as well. That sometimes women they mistreat their husbands that their husbands have nothing as if they're not even human beings as it they're not even children. This is how they treat them.

00:26:44--> 00:27:06

disrespect them, shout at them, yell at them. If they want food, go get it yourself. Why are you asking me? If they say something? Mind your own business. If they want food, why don't you cook for yourself? This is what the issues of the woman. So if a husband is being treated like this by his wife, is it fair for him?

00:27:07--> 00:27:11

It's not. So if he decides to divorce her what's going to happen, she's going to keep them

00:27:13--> 00:27:33

is that fair? He gave her so much more headway. Because he was sincere. He was truthful, it was a savoca. He was truthful in his commitment to her. And he is taking care of her property. But she doesn't respect him at all. doesn't give him his help at all. So in that case, he deserves to get back them up.

00:27:34--> 00:27:44

So in this case, again, audible is permissible so that a man can get back to Omaha. And the woman asked for herself in a dinner beforehand, he shot him mobile.

00:27:46--> 00:28:07

But remember that fair shot the mobile unit, a man he cannot accuse the wife of Xena, just to get back the mouse. Because this is also done sometimes. That men just accuser, wives of Xena and what happens? They get back to my house and the woman. First of all, she's accused and then she's left on her own.

00:28:08--> 00:28:17

And notice it has been said fathomable unit, meaning it is clear there has to be some evidence there has to be some proof that they have done they have committed fashion

00:28:18--> 00:28:20

when you should have seen with your own eyes.

00:28:21--> 00:28:42

And many times the husband he may not have seen with his own eyes, but he's just doubting the wife. I for instance, I heard of someone who accused his wife of committing Zina, and she was pregnant. And he said that she has committed suicide. This is not my child. But there was no evidence that this is a demo Bina. Both of them were living together. How is it possible that she committed dinner with someone?

00:28:43--> 00:28:45

A chaste woman Mahadeva

00:28:46--> 00:28:51

I mean, religious woman, how could he ever accuse her? And you know what happened?

00:28:52--> 00:28:55

The child that she gave birth to was the exact imitation of a father

00:28:57--> 00:28:58

exact imitation.

00:28:59--> 00:29:09

So, over here, what is this Hashem Rubina? You cannot just accuse a woman like that in order to get back from her from her.

00:29:10--> 00:29:13

This is something that is incorrect inshallah we will learn about that in the next video.

00:29:14--> 00:29:22

Why she Luna and you live with them, how Bill Maher aloof in the manner that is approved.

00:29:24--> 00:29:30

I should own nationalism newsletters in general. What does actually mean? Then our show?

00:29:31--> 00:29:32

What does it mean?

00:29:34--> 00:29:37

And I shadow your shadow is to live together.

00:29:39--> 00:29:45

from the same root is a word or shield. And our Sheila is used for a clan, popular tribe.

00:29:46--> 00:29:56

Because if you look at it, the immediate family, maybe the husband wife and one child, two children, they were a lesson number less than 10 generally. Typically, they're less than 10.

00:29:57--> 00:29:58

And some families are more than two

00:30:00--> 00:30:08

But when a family grows and grows into a clan into a tribe into an extended family, what happens? The numbers they increase.

00:30:09--> 00:30:15

And the minimum number is how much 10 and the maximum hamdulillah. There's no limit to that sometimes.

00:30:16--> 00:30:26

So Mashallah, from the same root is used for a society. Why? Because people are living together. There's a great number of people.

00:30:27--> 00:30:35

So I Shiro, who know what does it mean? live with them, live with them, give company to them.

00:30:37--> 00:30:42

And particularly particular This is used for those people who live together, like in a family system.

00:30:43--> 00:30:44

So I should,

00:30:45--> 00:30:48

you must live with them in a manner that is approved,

00:30:49--> 00:30:56

meaning in a manner that is according to the norms of the society, and is also not rejected by the Islamic law.

00:30:57--> 00:30:58

What is my proof?

00:30:59--> 00:31:07

It's recognized by what? By the norms of the society to something acceptable. And at the same time, it is not something that is rejected by the Islamic law.

00:31:08--> 00:31:12

So, for instance, a man he lives with his wife, what is Martin,

00:31:13--> 00:31:17

live with your wife in a manner that is approved? What is included in that?

00:31:19--> 00:31:28

In behavior, first of all in treatment? What does that mean? That for instance, when the man he speaks to the wife, how should he speak,

00:31:29--> 00:31:43

like a boss ordering his employ, like a boss ordering his servant is that how a man should speak to his wife No. But rather, he should speak in a gentleman in a kind manner, in a decent manner.

00:31:45--> 00:32:17

Because sometimes, the way that some men speak to their wives is very derogatory, very insulting, very condescending. So in a decent manner, in an affectionate manner, in a loving manner. And before that, talk to her because sometimes men don't even like talking to their women. They're just coexisting in a house, the man gets up in the morning, she makes breakfast for him, he eats leaves for work comes back as dinner goes, does some work comes back sleeps. So there's no bonding between the two. There's no talking, there's no conversation,

00:32:18--> 00:32:28

I should, first of all in behavior, that when you talk to them, talk to them in a good manner, in a polite manner, in an affectionate way, in a loving manner.

00:32:30--> 00:32:42

Similarly, in behavior, what else is included? When you look at them, what should you do? Smile, smile at them. And obviously, smiles are contagious. So if you smile at them, then they will smile at you.

00:32:43--> 00:33:00

And similarly, it has been said that in behavior in treatment, what is included is that a man, he should also keep himself neat and tidy, just as he expects his wife to be nice and tidy. That just as he expects that his wife should be dressed up. Similarly, he should also be dressed up for his way.

00:33:01--> 00:33:20

Sometimes men, they go to work, they're dressed very professionally, very nicely, they come back home and they change in their pajamas, and they're wearing a torn shirt, the hair is not brushed. When they leave the house, they made sure they brush their teeth in the morning, when they get up and they're talking to the wife, they don't have their teeth brushed. So, this is not an issue of involve.

00:33:21--> 00:33:27

So, first of all, what is included National 11 my roof is in behavior in treatment.

00:33:29--> 00:33:44

Secondly, in spending on the woman and providing for her needs, spending upon the woman and providing for her needs. So, what is included in this I should own a bit of what is included in this

00:33:45--> 00:34:11

that a man should provide for his wife's physical needs, material needs such as her food, her clothing or accessories the man should provide for that. Obviously, according to his capacity, whatever he can afford, not that a man is going shopping every other day for his clothes, and the wife, she only gets to go once a year or once every few months. Whatever a man can afford.

00:34:12--> 00:34:17

So first of all, in fulfilling her material needs such as food, clothing, etc.

00:34:18--> 00:34:48

Secondly, in providing a living space and living space, that is my roof. That is acceptable. Now that she's living in a in a small room that doesn't have a window, and she's expected to live there with three children for the next 20 years. No. And the man has his money saved. Just in case we needed. Does that I can buy a nice car for myself. But what is included national motto that he should provide a decent living space.

00:34:50--> 00:34:56

Now doesn't mean that a woman she has to have a mansion to herself. No it is a decent living space.

00:34:57--> 00:34:59

See my roof. What is model that witches?

00:35:00--> 00:35:02

accepted as a norm in the society.

00:35:03--> 00:35:08

And also that which is according to the Islamic law as well.

00:35:09--> 00:35:17

Similarly, what is included in providing for the needs of the wife is fulfilling her emotional needs, fulfilling her emotional needs.

00:35:18--> 00:35:24

Like for instance, a woman She must be spent time with. The woman needs to spend time with her husband.

00:35:26--> 00:35:40

Sometimes a mentor is so busy in their work, they have a morning shift, they have a night shift. Yes, they're making money. They're earning money so that they can provide for the family. But how difficult is it to send a text message or to speak over the phone? How difficult is it today? It's not difficult.

00:35:41--> 00:36:07

So connecting with your spouse, talking to them, spending some time with them. This is something that women especially the men, they're okay, they're busy with their work, they're fine. But the woman who is at home with her children, she's getting frustrated. So for her, she needs to hear from her husband. And just when a woman hears from her husband, emotionally, she feels good. And if she's ignored, how will she feel rejected.

00:36:08--> 00:36:18

So, fulfilling the needs of the wife includes fulfilling her emotional needs, showing love to her physically bonding with her emotionally bonding with her

00:36:20--> 00:36:23

similarity trusting her and not doubting her,

00:36:24--> 00:36:38

helping her with the housework, taking her around, taking her to visit her family to visit her friends, all of this is what I should have been modeled in the manner that is appropriate in the manner that is correct.

00:36:39--> 00:37:12

And notice the command has been given to to the men. Obviously the women they also have to live in a manner that is good, but the men they have to initiate the men have to initiate the conversation. They have to initiate showing love to the woman they have to initiate being kind being generous towards the woman because the woman she needs that is one of her basic needs. So why should you wanna build models live with them in a manner that is appropriate

00:37:14--> 00:37:21

for inquiry to move on then if you dislike them? Character move on from careful have Coronavirus Cara HMI

00:37:22--> 00:37:33

SCADA HMI dislike. So if you dislike them, you hate them. You hate to your wife, why would a man hit his wife?

00:37:34--> 00:37:34


00:37:35--> 00:37:36

Think about it,

00:37:37--> 00:37:39

a couple that doesn't get along what could be the reason?

00:37:41--> 00:37:50

Maybe he doesn't like her physical appearance. Maybe he doesn't like it. Maybe there's something in her physical body that he's repulsed by he does not like.

00:37:51--> 00:37:59

Similarly, it could be a bad habit that she has. Like, for instance, the way she talks, the way she speaks to him.

00:38:00--> 00:38:28

or similar to the way she cooks food. The way she cooks food, he just doesn't like her food. The way she keeps the stuff in the house, the way she cleans. It's not clean enough for him. It's not tidy enough for him, but she just doesn't get it. It's just her habit. No matter how many times he tells her, she just doesn't get it. Similar to the way she dresses up. She dresses up in a way that the man dislikes but she thinks that's the good way. She looks good in that way. But he doesn't like it at all.

00:38:29--> 00:38:30

So there could be different reasons.

00:38:32--> 00:38:34

Similarly a woman she lacks in some skill,

00:38:35--> 00:38:40

maybe her speech, maybe she's not educated enough could be different reasons right.

00:38:41--> 00:38:54

So Allah says over here, that even if you dislike them, even if you hate them for whatever reason, could be genuine, it could be very serious if you dislike them, then what should you do?

00:38:55--> 00:38:56

First bit will be patient.

00:38:57--> 00:39:12

Why? Because for our sir then it is possible and that crochet and that you dislike something where there are the law houfy you here and Kathy Allah and Allah makes in it much good, abundant good.

00:39:13--> 00:39:13

In what?

00:39:14--> 00:39:16

In that which you dislike.

00:39:18--> 00:39:31

It's possible that you dislike her. But it's also possible that in that same woman through that same woman, Allah subhanaw taala grants you something that is highly on criteria that is abundant, good much good.

00:39:32--> 00:39:37

Because sometimes what happens if a husband doesn't like even one thing in the wife, what does he do?

00:39:38--> 00:39:39

I'm going to divorce him.

00:39:41--> 00:39:51

And the women on the other hand, typically what happens with them if they dislike something about their husbands? Generally women are patient. Like Never mind.

00:39:52--> 00:39:59

It's okay I can sacrifice for my children. I will make do. Okay, if he doesn't care about me if he doesn't think about how I feel

00:40:00--> 00:40:12

Okay, I'll take care of my children, I will deal with this difficulty. But the man immediately what does he think of? I don't like her. I don't need her, I can divorce her. And I can get married to somebody else. What does Allah say?

00:40:13--> 00:40:30

For in Krita, Muna if you dislike them, be patient. Why? Because I saw under crocheting, it's possible that you dislike something. But Allah subhanaw taala puts in that same thing, abundant, good, much good. What do we learn from this ayah

00:40:31--> 00:40:32

from the beginning of the year,

00:40:33--> 00:40:36

what's the first thing that we learn from this ayah

00:40:37--> 00:40:46

women cannot be treated like property, like commodities. They're like human beings. And therefore, they cannot be forced into something.

00:40:47--> 00:40:52

Their permission, their approval, their consent is necessary.

00:40:54--> 00:40:57

We learned about the prohibition of inheriting women

00:40:58--> 00:41:00

or inheriting nikka with the women.

00:41:02--> 00:41:07

And from this, we also learned that a woman cannot be forced into a marriage against her will.

00:41:08--> 00:41:11

Because they would inherit a woman how

00:41:12--> 00:41:23

they would inherit the niqab with her garden, without her approval, disliking the What does that teach us? that a woman cannot be forced into a marriage against her will?

00:41:25--> 00:41:27

What else do we learn from this? Ayah?

00:41:28--> 00:41:29

Well, I thought Lulu, when

00:41:31--> 00:41:37

a woman should not be harassed, her life should not be made miserable, so that she has to seek divorce.

00:41:38--> 00:41:53

And that a widow or a divorced woman should not be hindered from marrying someone whom they wish to. As long as obviously, that person is reasonable mean they're a believer. Similarly, the Guardian who should not stop the orphan girl from getting married.

00:41:55--> 00:41:58

And also we learned that letter Luna, what does it mean?

00:41:59--> 00:42:01

to confine to constrict

00:42:02--> 00:42:10

silica alumina. We also learned from this about the prohibition of confining the woman in the house like a prisoner.

00:42:11--> 00:42:14

Because they were confined the women in the house until they died.

00:42:15--> 00:42:20

They would force them to live as single women until they died.

00:42:21--> 00:42:38

We learn from other parts of the Quran that will corner fee booty corner owner and stay in your houses. Why because the house of the woman is best for her, it's the best place for her. However, she should be allowed to go fulfill her needs, outside of the house, to go visit her family.

00:42:39--> 00:42:53

And we learned that although this command will coordinate Cebu to coordinate this was revealed with regards the wives of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam and they stayed in their house most of the time. However, they would also leave the house to go to Makkah to perform Hajj in Irma.

00:42:54--> 00:42:59

Similarly, they would leave the house why, in order to travel with the Prophet sallallahu wasallam.

00:43:00--> 00:43:14

Whenever the Prophet said a lot of time would go for a journey, even if it was a battle, he would always take some wife with him. Why? Because women also are human beings that cannot be expected to just stay in the house locked all the time, throughout the year.

00:43:15--> 00:43:19

And sometimes unfortunately, we see this that women are not allowed to step out of the house at all.

00:43:20--> 00:43:39

Okay, if you don't want to take them to the wall, if you don't want them to walk around the streets don't. But if they wish to go to their mother's house, if they wish to go visit their family, if they wish to go learn something, seek knowledge, don't force them to stay in their houses like prisoners. Letter A balloon.

00:43:40--> 00:43:42

Don't do all of the women

00:43:44--> 00:44:10

also learn about the obligation of living with the wife. How build muscles in the manner that is appropriate that a man he must deal with his wife in the most beautiful manner, from the smallest matters to the biggest matters. Smallest matters, why didn't you turn the lights off? How come you left the iron on? It's a small matter a big matter? Where did you spend all this money?

00:44:11--> 00:44:22

So from the smallest to the biggest matters? How should a man deal with his wife in a manner that is good in a manner that is appropriate? in a manner that is decent?

00:44:23--> 00:44:30

And we see that the Prophet sallallahu wasallam what was his manner towards his wives? How did he live with his wives?

00:44:32--> 00:44:38

We see that all of the waves the profits are loners. And then there were elderly except for our children.

00:44:39--> 00:44:54

But he was just between all of them. He fulfilled their needs, and he treated them in the best manner. Because especially when a man has more than one wife what happens? He inclines more towards one. Which one

00:44:55--> 00:44:59

the one who's younger, the one who's more fun. The one who is more joyful and the one

00:45:00--> 00:45:24

Who is older, the one who is a bit boring, they tend to neglect them. So the profits are a lot of Saddam's behavior was what? That he was just towards all of the women, despite the fact that most of them were elderly, which is why, towards the end of the profits out of artisans life, and it was difficult for him to go from one wife to the other, he took permission from all of them, if he could stay at I should have.

00:45:26--> 00:45:33

So I should live in my life also include spending time with the women, treating them equally, treating them with other.

00:45:34--> 00:45:37

And also, I shouldn't want to include having some fun with the wife.

00:45:39--> 00:45:42

Like, for instance, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam he raised with our children.

00:45:44--> 00:45:52

We learned that I saw that on her. She said, the Messenger of Allah raised with me, and I won the race. This occurred before I gained weight.

00:45:53--> 00:46:02

And afterwards, I raced with him again. And he won that race. And he said, how he built this victory is for that victory.

00:46:03--> 00:46:15

So I should own a bit of that don't just coexist in the same house, have a relationship, have some bonding, don't just treat a woman as the mother of your children.

00:46:16--> 00:46:24

As someone who cooks for you, cleans for you, I enter clothes for you. Does the grocery for you know, have a relationship with her?

00:46:25--> 00:46:33

And sometimes, unfortunately, especially over here, what do some men do? They leave all of the housework to to the wife.

00:46:34--> 00:46:40

And by housework, I don't just mean cooking and cleaning, but also sometimes the chores outside of the house.

00:46:41--> 00:47:07

Like for instance, it's winter, it's snowing outside, who has to shovel the way or who has to go get the groceries and bring all those heavy bags inside the house. The wife I mean, Allah give you more strength. Allah gave the man more strength. And the profits are allowed him he would actually help his wives in the house. And the men Unfortunately, they think that if they held their wives in the house, this is something that is going to humiliate them

00:47:09--> 00:47:18

that just imagine the women there lifting heavy pots, carrying so much food, then washing all those heavy pots, and you're just sitting there watching TV.

00:47:19--> 00:47:25

Is it really gonna hurt you if you get up and wash that dish for her? Is it really going to hurt them in? No,

00:47:26--> 00:47:36

it's going to be much easier for him and a woman. Her hands are hurting, her arms are hurting, she's exhausted, the child is crying and her husband is sitting on the couch relaxing.

00:47:37--> 00:47:42

Ashley Romana also includes helping her around the housework.

00:47:43--> 00:48:05

Also, we see that I should have the Rania. She used to play with dolls. And she was young, because she got married very young. So she used to play with dolls. And sometimes our friends would come over to play and the Prophet sallallahu Sallam when he would come? What would all those girls do? They would go and hide. So he would go and find them, and send them to our children so that they could play together?

00:48:06--> 00:48:07

What does it show

00:48:08--> 00:48:12

that her husband should also be concerned about the interests of the way?

00:48:13--> 00:48:16

What does she like? What does he enjoy?

00:48:17--> 00:48:24

And sometimes when they don't allow their wives to socialize much, or to be with their friends, they dislike it.

00:48:26--> 00:48:39

Obviously, it should be in a reasonable way that a wife should not be concerned with partying all the time. But today, I have to go to this friend's house and tomorrow to go shopping with her. They have to do this. And the husband says okay, where's my dinner? And where's my teen laundry? Sorry, I'm busy.

00:48:41--> 00:48:52

So my roof means that a wife, yes, her interests should be a man should be concerned about them. But at the same time, a woman should also be concerned about the needs of the man.

00:48:54--> 00:49:08

Also, we see that the Prophet sallallahu sallam, he would also entertain his wives. Like for instance, on Iied. There were these Abyssinian men, and they were doing a skit or they were performing something. And I showed that on her wish to see. So he showed her

00:49:09--> 00:49:12

entertainment as well. halaal Entertainment.

00:49:13--> 00:49:14

So I should never move.

00:49:16--> 00:49:25

The profits are about a certain set. The best among you is the one who is best towards his wife. The best among you is the one who is best towards his wife.

00:49:27--> 00:49:42

And sometimes men think that if they have to become the best of the men, then they have to become very busy, very professional. They have to be out of the house most of the time and when they come home, they shouted the woman. No. The best is the one who is best towards his wife.

00:49:43--> 00:49:48

I'm telling you out of this not that you go and demand from your husbands could remind them politely.

00:49:50--> 00:49:56

Also, we learn from this idea that if a person dislikes his wife, then he should still keep her.

00:49:57--> 00:49:59

He should still keep her and not

00:50:00--> 00:50:06

hoarser because there might be some good, there might be some benefit that a person might receive through her.

00:50:08--> 00:50:13

Generally, if you look at it to people that have married, and soon after they end up in a divorce, why

00:50:15--> 00:50:20

sometimes it is small things, very small things, which are blown out of proportion,

00:50:21--> 00:50:32

or intolerance towards small things, or lack of compromise. And marriage is about adjusting with one another

00:50:33--> 00:50:35

is about compromising.

00:50:36--> 00:50:40

There is no person in this dunya who is ideal. Remember that.

00:50:41--> 00:50:51

So, if there is something that you dislike and your spouse don't think, I think I can live with them for the rest of my life, I should end it right now. No, have some sub,

00:50:52--> 00:50:59

for incorrect and overnight, it's possible that you dislike them. And if you dislike them, remember that it's possible that Allah put Hiram kathira in them.

00:51:00--> 00:51:08

Like, for instance, a man he does not like his wife. Why? Because of her education, or because of her conduct because of her behavior.

00:51:09--> 00:51:22

Or maybe there's just one thing about her nature that really bugs him, that he cannot tolerate at all. But it's possible that the children that he has through her there, the coolness of his eyes, there the comfort of his eyes.

00:51:23--> 00:51:32

It's also possible that the woman whom he dislikes because of her physical appearance, it's possible that she becomes a big support for him in his work,

00:51:33--> 00:51:45

or in helping out his parents. It's possible that a lot was heightened cathedra in something that you dislike. So before ending a relationship, what should we think

00:51:46--> 00:51:48

it's possible that there is something good in it,

00:51:49--> 00:51:51

it's possible that there's something good in it.

00:51:52--> 00:51:57

And this is both ways, from the husband side, as well as the wife side.

00:51:58--> 00:52:01

Because many times, women also they cannot tolerate little things.

00:52:02--> 00:52:18

Like, for instance, if the husband cannot afford to live separately, if he's living with his parents, the wife says, I cannot live like this. I have to have my separate place. And just because a man says you cannot afford it, I'm sorry, I cannot live like this for the rest of my life. And she wishes to end the relationship.

00:52:19--> 00:52:40

Or there's something about him something in his nature, or the fact that the woman has high expectations of him. She wants him to go to the masjid five times a day, he tries to go twice a day. So when we have high expectations, and the other person cannot fulfill them, what do we think I should put an end to this relationship. What does Allah say?

00:52:41--> 00:52:47

It's possible that you dislike something in the other person but have some sub. Look for the positive side.

00:52:48--> 00:53:12

We learn from a Hadith, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said no believing man should hate his beloved wife. If he dislikes a part of her conduct, he would surely like another. If you dislike one thing about her, there must be another thing about her that you do like. So focus on what focus on the positive

00:53:13--> 00:53:17

focus on the good qualities. Don't just focus on the negatives.

00:53:19--> 00:53:32

And for this, we also learned that if we dislike something in a friend or in a co worker or in somebody who's with us, we just dislike one thing. Don't think about ending that relationship right there that

00:53:33--> 00:53:33

have some some

00:53:35--> 00:53:38

have some patients have some tolerance, nobody can be perfect.

00:54:43--> 00:54:59

Remember that a relationship is always both sided. Meaning one person who will try but the other party also has to try one person is good the other person also has to be good. Now many times when we read this is we think that the husband should be like this.

00:55:00--> 00:55:04

Interview like this, my husband doesn't do this, my husband doesn't do that. So what do we need to do?

00:55:06--> 00:55:09

We need to figure out what is it that we have to do?

00:55:10--> 00:55:12

What is it that I am supposed to do?

00:55:13--> 00:55:31

And notice, if I encourage you to move on, if you dislike them, Why does a man dislike his wife? because of some reason? So find out what is it that bugs my husband, about me? What is it, because if you solve that, maybe your relationship would improve.

00:55:32--> 00:55:43

Obviously, if it is something that cannot be changed, then that is something that cannot be changed. But if it's something that you can improve on, then do that, because it has to be both sided. You also have to try,

00:55:44--> 00:55:55

I should live with them in a good way. Some people say that it's not from Tara from obedience to husband, that a woman cooks for the husband or cleans for the husband.

00:55:56--> 00:56:02

And some women that go to an extreme and they refuse to do anything with their husbands. And they say that we're not supposed to do anything like that for you.

00:56:03--> 00:56:08

But the fact is that inshallah, as we will learn in the following is in the same surah, that for salejaw, to

00:56:10--> 00:56:11

be that,

00:56:12--> 00:56:42

that the side, I had the righteous women, the righteous wives who are their kanita, they're obedient in the listen to their husbands. Yes, the man's obligation is that he must provide for the family doesn't have a choice with regards to that. The woman's obligation is not that she has to cook. But the woman's obligation is that she has to obey her husband. So if the husband requests, sir, that please cook this for me. And she says, No, find a cook, what's going to happen is going to improve your relationship. It's not,

00:56:43--> 00:56:58

it's not going to improve it at all. But if the man can afford and he gets a cook for the wife, that's very nice. But if he cannot, if the situation does not allow, if he likes her food, then the woman should take it as a compliment, and not as a burden.

00:57:00--> 00:57:26

Also, we learned from this ayah that I should have been maruf, living in a manner that is appropriate. it stabilizes the family. It creates stability in the family. I just imagine if a woman, she has to do so much work all the time. And the husband is just sitting, relaxing, watching TV, reading the newspaper, and the woman is working, working, working, running from here to there, what's going to happen, the children are going to get affected.

00:57:28--> 00:57:32

And obviously the relationship between the husband and wife is also going to get affected.

00:57:33--> 00:57:38

If the husband says something, maybe she'll snap at him. Why? Because she's frustrated, she's tired.

00:57:39--> 00:57:43

But that could have been avoided by the husband living with her in a manner that is

00:57:46--> 00:57:47

okay, that's going to the next day.

00:57:49--> 00:57:51

Well, in order to stay with that as a region,

00:57:52--> 00:58:18

but if you want to replace one wife McKenna's origin with another life, why are they not important? And you have given one of them a great amount in gifts falletta who do men who shy and then do not take back from it anything at that? Who do you know who Bhutan and what is Momo? Bina? Would you take it in injustice and manifests in

00:58:19--> 00:58:25

which we see that sometimes the relationship between a man and wife, it does not work out.

00:58:26--> 00:58:29

The man does not like the wife for encouraged to move on.

00:58:30--> 00:58:34

And he's constantly looking for the positives, but it's just not working out.

00:58:36--> 00:58:44

For instance, if it's the manner that the wife speaks, and each time the man speaks to her, she shouts at him, she yells at him, what's going to happen?

00:58:45--> 00:58:46

Eventually, the man is going to explode

00:58:47--> 00:58:57

eventually is going to reach the limit of his patience. So, sometimes, the relationship, it goes to the extent of being severed.

00:58:58--> 00:59:07

So, a man he dislikes his wife, so much so that he wishes to divorce. he pronounces divorce or he intends to divorce her at least.

00:59:08--> 00:59:48

And he intends that he will get married to somebody else. Like for instance of a relationship between husband wife is not going on, well, what do other people suggest? Divorce or get married to somebody else? It happens. You can get married to somebody else. So if a man wishes to divorce his first wife, and he wishes to take another wife in her place, you understand. He wishes to divorce the first wife and wishes take another wife in her place, marry somebody else in her place. Then, what is the command over here that don't take back anything from the first wife.

00:59:49--> 00:59:53

Because you see the first wife, he had given her my wife.

00:59:54--> 00:59:59

Now he thinks she's not good to me. I don't like her. I want to get rid of her and I want to marry

01:00:00--> 01:00:05

Somebody else and he had given a lot of miles the first one. What does he want to do?

01:00:06--> 01:00:10

Take the money from the first one so that he could give it to the new way.

01:00:11--> 01:00:18

That's what many people do sometimes. That's what happens many many times, that at the time of divorce, everything is demanded from the woman

01:00:19--> 01:00:25

everything from the jewelry to the clothes to the money, everything is demanded.

01:00:27--> 01:00:33

Why? So that the man can now give it to the woman that he marries after her.

01:00:34--> 01:00:38

So over here, we learned that this is also forbidden.

01:00:40--> 01:01:16

We're in a rotten, rotten from the root letters are Ah, well there are other meaning you choose to you intend to meaning you choose to end the addresses to the husband's, if you choose to STP data is steep that is from bear that lamb battle to change is to replace substitute exchange. So if you intend to replace the Odin, a wife McKenna's origin in place of a wife, by divorcing the first and marrying a new one in her place, what are they do and you gave them who no one of them one of who,

01:01:17--> 01:01:23

what otherwise, which wife is this, the one whom you intend to divorce the first one? Well your ruler.

01:01:25--> 01:01:28

So you had given her up in foreign, what is

01:01:30--> 01:01:35

a huge amount of wealth heaped up amount of wealth, accumulated wealth.

01:01:36--> 01:01:43

Because remember, cantar gives a sense of height, it gives a sense of stacking one thing on top of the other layering one thing on top of the other.

01:01:44--> 01:01:51

So just imagine one goal set on top of the other, one stack of money on top of the other,

01:01:52--> 01:01:59

you had given her confer. Similarly, sometimes confer is given in the form of clothes to the wife at the time of marriage,

01:02:00--> 01:02:17

that one bag full of clothes on top of another bag full of clothes on top of another bag full of clothes, literally bags and bags of clothes. So what are they looking for, if you had given one of them a can for as a mother, or as a gift, at the time of marriage or after marriage?

01:02:18--> 01:02:22

fell into who do men who shave and then do not take from it anything from what?

01:02:24--> 01:02:24

From the control?

01:02:26--> 01:02:30

Meaning do not take back from the woman anything that you had given her.

01:02:31--> 01:02:35

And this is, especially after the man has had relations with her,

01:02:36--> 01:02:40

especially after the man has had relations with her first wife.

01:02:41--> 01:02:44

For that the Hulu minutia, it's not permissible for you.

01:02:46--> 01:02:47

And notice the word Cheyenne is natural

01:02:48--> 01:02:52

that you cannot take back anything a little or a lot.

01:02:53--> 01:02:59

Something very small, or something very big. A few things are many things. No nothing at all you can take back.

01:03:01--> 01:03:10

I don't who don't know who would you take it? Both Anna by false accusation. What is Momo Bina? And the same? That is clear. What does it mean by this?

01:03:11--> 01:03:19

You see, from here we learned that it's not permissible for a man to take back them. But what is the only case in which the man can take Fatima

01:03:20--> 01:03:25

in the case of the woman committing Zina, or in the case of a hula.

01:03:26--> 01:03:37

So what what's a menu? As I mentioned to you that some men they would accuse their wives in that she has committed dinner, this child is not mine, she's pregnant with this is not my child.

01:03:39--> 01:03:46

Why? Why would the man do this so that the woman would take color or Trulia on what would happen? He would take back the mother.

01:03:47--> 01:03:56

So over here on the questions the men, would you take back the mother from the woman Bible, then by falsely accusing her of Xena.

01:03:57--> 01:04:00

Bhutan is when the roof is better

01:04:01--> 01:04:07

and better is to become shocked. It is to be astonished to become speechless.

01:04:08--> 01:04:11

Remember, we learned early in insulted belcarra for botella de Cabo

01:04:12--> 01:04:27

Nimrod, who had a debate with Ibrahim alayhis salam when he brought him in and said to him that murghab is the one who brings out the sun from the east. So you bring it out from the west. What happened to the disbeliever? He was Buddha. He was dumbfounded. He was left speechless. He was so shocked. He didn't know what to say.

01:04:28--> 01:04:37

So then, is an accusation that shocks people. It makes them speechless. They don't know what to say. It's shocking.

01:04:38--> 01:04:42

So over here with Dan refers to which both an accusation of Xena

01:04:43--> 01:04:52

that would you take back the mother by falsely accusing the wife of Fantasia. What is mumble Vina and by committing a clear sin?

01:04:53--> 01:04:59

Why is it called as mama Vina that on the part of the man there's going to be a clear sin. There's no

01:05:00--> 01:05:02

doubt about this act being incorrect.

01:05:04--> 01:05:09

So we see that it is forbidden to take the mob back from the woman in any case, except in the case of hola or Leon.

01:05:11--> 01:05:26

And this is mentioned over here, so that no man can think no man can assume that just because he is divorcing the first wife and taking another in her place, he has a right to take back them off from the first one and give it to the second one. No, this is also not allowed.

01:05:29--> 01:05:40

Okay for the hoonah. Who and how can you take it? meaning how can you legalize taking it back? What right do you have to take the mower back from the wife,

01:05:41--> 01:05:48

Walker, the F bar will come in about while you have gone in unto each other,

01:05:49--> 01:05:52

meaning you have had sexual relationship with one another,

01:05:53--> 01:06:00

that you have enjoyed her. And now you're falsely accusing her and you're taking the mud from her.

01:06:01--> 01:06:08

You see the mother, it becomes mandatory on the man to give especially upon establishing sexual relationship with the wife,

01:06:09--> 01:06:17

it becomes mandatory, which is why we see that nikka is fine possible that a man and woman they just have any garden but they're living separately.

01:06:18--> 01:06:23

So if the man does not give them out to the wife, it's okay at that time.

01:06:24--> 01:06:33

But if he establishes sexual relationship with her, then the mother must be given and the walima must take place.

01:06:34--> 01:06:47

Right after the establishment of sexual relationship, what must be done the method must be given to the wife must be it's an obligation. It's a federal law. And the ruling also must be done.

01:06:48--> 01:07:13

Because sometimes it happens at a man and woman they are there in the garden and they're living separately and they're having sexual relationship. However the man does not give them to the wife until the actual reality takes place. Or the actual Lima takes place and the Redeemer it is scheduled two years after or three years after it's not fair for the woman if she's being enjoyed sexually, then she has to be given her mother it is her right.

01:07:14--> 01:07:24

So over here little questions what came for the Hulu? How can you take it back? After about Lucas elaborate? The Word of God is wondering Petrus felt Bothwell from the word follow.

01:07:25--> 01:07:31

phobia your thought is to be alone. What does it mean to be alone

01:07:32--> 01:07:40

and after usually is to mix or to mingle or to join one thing with another

01:07:42--> 01:07:53

and figuratively, this word is used for sexual relationship between a husband and wife meaning a sexual intercourse between a husband and wife

01:07:55--> 01:08:14

and obviously, they are alone at that time. So Father, what does it mean to be alone and after use the is to join one thing with another. So we'll call the Elphaba barrel to come in a barrel while some of you have gone in onto each other meaning you have benefited from each other in private.

01:08:15--> 01:08:29

And upon this the model becomes wider. So how can you demand the Mahopac? What reason do you have? How can you legalize it you cannot How could you if you do it, it would be wrong on your part.

01:08:30--> 01:08:36

100 men komiza families and they have taken from you me sir that is really is who have taken

01:08:37--> 01:08:38

100 net.

01:08:39--> 01:08:45

The women because he the noon there is no Elif afterwards. So this is a sign of feminine.

01:08:46--> 01:09:08

So those women meaning the wives, they have taken from you Mr. karela, what is a Misuk a covenant and it is more strong than an odd how that was awkward is to bind to tie something. So we set up is a covenant that is made strong How? By both the party swearing by both the parties taking notes

01:09:09--> 01:09:18

or by writing out the contract because once it has been written and there are witnesses present, what happens to that promise it's not an ordinary promise it becomes a very firm and solemn promise.

01:09:20--> 01:09:40

And notice the cipher, the adjective of the word Misa what is the adjective It is really is what is Linnaeus. When something is stuff, when something is solid, it is thick. And when something is solid and thick, it is stuff it cannot be broken easily. It cannot be broken easily. So me sacandaga Lila, what does this refer to?

01:09:42--> 01:09:47

This means alcoholism refers to the tunica the type of marriage

01:09:48--> 01:09:55

that you got married to them. And these women, they have a misurkin Elisa from you

01:09:57--> 01:10:00

what we saw kind of Elisa from you that you made a friend

01:10:00--> 01:10:06

promise that you were going to spend on them, that you are going to give them their mother

01:10:07--> 01:10:27

that you are going to take care of them, you are going to be responsible for them. So now, after getting together, and after enjoying her sexually, what are you doing? You're demanding the model back from her? How can you do that? They have a promise from you that you will definitely give them the model. And you gave them the model. So how can you take it back?

01:10:29--> 01:10:47

And if it's a miss out, it's a promise. The promise of law is going to question you about as we learned in sort of the law is 34 104, we'll add in the cannabis Uhler and fulfill every commitment, every promise Why? Because Indeed, the commitment is ever that about which one will be questioned,

01:10:48--> 01:10:50

the person will be questioned about his commitment.

01:10:52--> 01:10:57

So they have a missile kind of Elisa from you. How is the Nikkor Amazon visa?

01:10:58--> 01:11:07

that it's not just a contract between a man and woman, but rather is a contract between a man and the woman's Wali. There's somebody else who's making that contract for her.

01:11:08--> 01:11:20

Like, for instance, if you, yourself cannot do something and you hire a lawyer, or you get the help of somebody? Why do you do that? To ensure that that work is done properly.

01:11:21--> 01:11:33

So seminary, the Wali is there, it's not just her, the Wali and it's not just the one it's the witnesses without going vanilla. It's a contract many times Annika is also written

01:11:34--> 01:11:43

and the Mahara is given out of this is what it's an example of a deal. So you made a solemn promise with them? How can you just dissolve it? How can you just break it like that?

01:11:44--> 01:11:53

or How can you not give them them? or How can you demand the microphone? How can you, you have no reason to do that. You have no right to do that.

01:11:54--> 01:11:59

That's listen to the recitation of these two. And then we'll look at the lessons that we can learn from these two.

01:12:44--> 01:13:03

So first of all, we see that we learn about the permissibility of marrying a second wife, okay, because sometimes a man, he would have a wife and he would want to marry a second one. And he would want to take them away from the first one in order to give it to the second one. So basically, recycle the same.

01:13:05--> 01:13:22

So first of all, we learned about the permissibility of marrying a second way, and also the permissibility of replacing the first with another. And we also learn about the prohibition of taking back the model from the first wife and giving it to the second way.

01:13:24--> 01:13:25

What else do we learn?

01:13:26--> 01:13:30

The thing is, once you give something to someone, it's their property.

01:13:32--> 01:13:45

And no matter who you are, whether you are their mother in law, or their sister in law, or their aunt or their grandmother, whoever, you cannot take it back. Because it's clearly forbidden to take back a gift that a person has given.

01:13:46--> 01:14:02

And if at the time of nikka, who set a condition that in case of divorce, then you must return this one item. Okay? But this is not correct, because who is it that you value? Is it the new bride who's coming into your house? Or is it the goal that you're valuing?

01:14:03--> 01:14:13

And if the bride is coming into the house, you know, with the burden that Oh my God, this thing is with me if I get divorced, this is not going to be with me. And she's being told at the time of Nicaragua, if there is a divorce,

01:14:15--> 01:14:22

you know, what kind of feelings is that going to create between husband and wife, or between a woman and her in laws, not happy feelings.

01:14:23--> 01:14:25

You can't take back what you've given.

01:14:26--> 01:14:29

We also learned from this ayah about the permissibility of

01:14:31--> 01:14:33

of owning a lot of wealth.

01:14:35--> 01:14:58

We learn from this I bought the permissibility of owning a lot of wealth because sometimes people think that it's not right. It's not good. You shouldn't own too much money you shouldn't own too many things. But the thing is that if a person owns a lot of wealth and he uses it correctly pays a cat owner he gives us a call from it he looks after the poor and needy the relatives then it is good. Where do we learn this lesson from from this ayah from the word control

01:14:59--> 01:15:00


01:15:00--> 01:15:04

A person can only afford to give a compiler if he has several confine himself.

01:15:06--> 01:15:12

We also learned that about the permissibility, of giving a huge amount of wealth as ma has

01:15:13--> 01:15:16

the permissibility of giving a huge amount of wealth as mouth.

01:15:17--> 01:15:20

Because over here has been said, if you've given a second thought as Mahesh,

01:15:21--> 01:15:22

what does this show

01:15:23--> 01:15:31

that you are allowed to be able to impart as well? Because sometimes we will think that it's not that righteous, it's not that good. No, there's no such there's no sense there's no harm.

01:15:32--> 01:16:00

As long as the person can actually afford to give it not that he's taking a loan, and then he's giving, he can actually afford to give it then it's okay. And we learn from the incentive model that are at his time when he was a halifa. People were giving a lot of money to their wives at the time of marriage. So we learned that and once he stood up on the member of the Messenger of Allah sallallahu sallam, and he said that oh people, why do you exaggerate concerning them I have given to the women.

01:16:01--> 01:16:10

The Messenger of Allah and his companions used to pay up to 400. Durham's for a more or less than that, and that was also because they couldn't afford much at that time.

01:16:12--> 01:16:27

Had paying more for a man have been a part of dakhla or honor, you would not have let them in this practice. Therefore, I do not want to hear about a man who pays more than 400. Durham's for a month.

01:16:28--> 01:16:47

He then went down to member, but a woman from the college said to him, oh, leader of the faithful, you prohibited people from paying more than 400 their homes in my heart for women? He said, Yes. She said, Have you not heard what Allah sent down in the Quran? He said, which part of the Quran?

01:16:48--> 01:16:51

And she said, Have you not heard a loss statement? What I say to him is that

01:16:53--> 01:16:55

if you've given one of them a can thought.

01:16:56--> 01:17:12

So our model did learn who said, Oh, Allah forgive me. He said, Oh, Allah, forgive me. And he then went back and stood up on the member saying that I had prohibited you from paying more than 400 did him in my head for the women so that everyone pay whatever he likes from his money.

01:17:14--> 01:17:15

So what does this show to us,

01:17:17--> 01:17:23

the permissibility, of giving a huge amount of wealth as much as long as a person can afford it.

01:17:25--> 01:17:38

Also, we learn about the obligation of giving them a hug to the woman upon the consummation of marriage, that once the marriage has been consummated, then the matter must be given to the woman.

01:17:39--> 01:17:45

Sometimes, at the time of nica, the woman has no idea about how much money she's getting. Sometimes even her parents don't know.

01:17:47--> 01:17:56

Because sometimes out of shyness, people don't discuss these matters. But the fact is that this is one of the conditions. This is one of the main pillars of nica.

01:17:57--> 01:18:03

So therefore, at the time of marriage be understood and upon the consummation of marriage, it must be given to the woman.

01:18:04--> 01:18:14

And we also learn about the prohibition of taking anything at all, whether big or small, because she has been set from the moment that the man has given to his wife unless, if she gives it herself

01:18:15--> 01:18:21

as we learned earlier, and sort of the mindset that if a woman willingly trigonella Kumar unshaken, then that's permissible.

01:18:23--> 01:18:46

We learned from a hadith which has mentioned in Buddhahood, that the parable, the example of the one who gives a gift, and then takes it back is like that of a dog, which eats till when it is satisfied, the dog that eats until it is satisfied, and then the dog vomits, and then eats his vomit.

01:18:48--> 01:18:53

This is the example of the person who gives a gift and takes it back.

01:18:54--> 01:19:00

That you're giving it out of your desire, like the dog who is consuming to fulfill his desire.

01:19:02--> 01:19:15

And then what does the dog do? He vomits and then he eats up that vomit. Just imagine. So when a person takes back a gift that He has given to someone, it is like the dog who is eating up his vomit.

01:19:17--> 01:19:26

So this is something that is clearly forbidden and it's abhorrent. It is this right it is something very selfish, very selfish. So, this is something that is forbidden.

01:19:28--> 01:19:31

Also we learn that marriage the marriage contract,

01:19:32--> 01:19:41

it is not an ordinary contract. It is not an ordinary relationship, but rather it is a mythical Holly's law.

01:19:42--> 01:19:44

It is a solemn promise.

01:19:45--> 01:19:59

And about an hour What do we learned that in LR the cannabis Ola died is going to be questioned about so. A person should fear a loss of data in fulfilling his duties towards his spouse or

01:20:00--> 01:20:07

spouse, because at the end of the day, this is a mishap between yes you and your spouse, but who is going to question you?

01:20:08--> 01:20:09

Allah is going to question you.

01:20:11--> 01:20:21

So, a person should be fearful of Allah in fulfilling the rights of the spouse in being beautiful towards the spouse.

01:20:23--> 01:20:34

And because the Nika is very strong contract, it's a misafirler Neela. So on small and minor issues on spot and minor differences, one should not think of just dissolving this contract.

01:20:36--> 01:20:37

All right.

01:20:38--> 01:20:55

Because sometimes it's just a very small issue, very tiny issue. And people think oh, we cannot live together anymore. She said this drama that has finished, no, have some tolerance Have some patience. On every small little difference, don't think of dissolving this relationship because it is me second Elisa.

01:20:56--> 01:21:11

And without Elisa, it is a solemn promise because it is made you can say In the name of Allah subhanaw taala as we learned in the beginning of the surah that what took Allah Allah de de Luna de Waal our hand fear Allah with regards to the ohana as well.

01:21:12--> 01:21:28

So it's a contract that is made in obedience to Allah subhanaw taala how Allah subhanaw taala has legislated meaning it's not just an ordinary contract that you give me money and I'll give you this thing No. But rather there is something very sacred. There's something sacred. So it's with alcoholism.

01:21:30--> 01:21:31

Let's listen to the recitation.

01:21:50--> 01:21:51

Boo Boo.

01:22:05--> 01:22:07

Boo Boo.

01:23:02--> 01:23:02


01:23:08--> 01:23:08

de la