Channel: Yasir Qadhi
Series: Yasir Qadhi - Ask Shaykh YQ
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Our last question for today brother has sent fro here in Dallas. He says that if a wife asks for divorce, and then the husband divorces her, is that a divorced attala? Or is that a hola? So this is the question. If the wife asks for a divorce, then the husband divorces what would it be called? Will it be called Palak? Or will it be called another thing we'll talk about now which is Hold on
Kobe, Nika in Region Jalan, no, hey, la him first.
Now, before I begin, realize that the answer that I'm going to give is going to be based upon, generally speaking, the humbly might have been an opinion of the Shafi school. However, there are multiple opinions out there. And so if you are going to follow a particular method, then ask your scholar because this, these are very technical issues. And I don't want to go into the controversy today, maybe in another q&a, I'll go into more details about the different positions about hula, but all the methods agree that there's something called Hold up, what is a hula, hula is when the wife requests her husband to finish off the marriage. And she also gives up her hair back. So the whole
art takes place. So the difference between product and hula is that turnout takes place by the husband. And when the turnout is given, the the gifts and the matter are kept by the wife. So the wife keeps whatever the husband has given of the marriage. So the mahad was 50,000 20,000, whatever it was, and for whatever reason, the marriage is not working out, and the husband, you know, decides that this isn't working out, and we just have to end so he praises the father, he does his due diligence, and they maybe even try counseling, they decide it's not going to work out. So the husband gives up, in which case, the dowry amount the matter remains with the wife. And technically
speaking as well, the gifts that were given over the course of the marriage, the general ruling, by the way, the general ruling is that if the husband divorces, then it is retained by the wife. Now, what if we flip it around, and we say the wife is not happy, for whatever reason, and the wife feels that this isn't working out. And it's not through a fault of the husband, because if it's the fault of the husband, maybe something can be done, we're talking about. So by the way, there's a heavy holiday event to hakima great, famous hobby that, you know, she married, famous habitats replaced, and she said, Yeah, rasulillah, I have no complaints about, you know, my husband in terms of a clap
in terms of Dean. But basically, to make a long story short, she basically said, You know, I just don't find myself attracted to I don't find myself getting along with him on a personal level, I have no complaints about, you know, he's a good man, he takes care of me, but it's just not there. The sparks aren't there. And I can't find myself, I can't imagine myself being remained married to, you know, but for the rest of my life, basically. So she's basically saying, It's my fault. In the sense, I want to end this marriage. And I just, it's not working out here. So she is the one initiating the annulment of the marriage, our Prophet salallahu it who was said to have said to her,
will you give him back the garden he gave you, he gave her an entire garden, which is a very expensive thing. And that was the model, would you give him back the Maha that he gave you? And she said, Yes, I will be out of luck. So the Prophet ism said, Okay, then the marriage is adult. Now, this is a hula. And the holder is initiated by the wife, and generally speaking, ratified by a judge or by the husband. And she gives back the entirety of the matter, or a negotiated portion of the matter if the husband agrees to less, that's his choice. He can say, No, okay, you can keep half and give me half back. That's his choice. It's his act if he wants to do that, but technically, you
know, he has the right to demand the entireties like, Look, everything is fine from my set. If you want to leave, you know, the marriage and I haven't done anything wrong, then, you know, the mad I gave you the 50,000 they give you well, then I should get that back. And so if she decides that, yes, indeed, you know, I don't want to continue in this manner, then. And she's the one that wants to end then she is going to ransom herself for this what's called, like the rent semi like she gives her money back say, look, here it is, and call us. Let me just, you know, what that means to take away basically to, it's as if she, she, she, she threw it back or she gave it back to him so that he
could then or she could then walk away from the marriage. Now, this is a whole lot. Now there are a number of differences between color and talaq and again, this is madhhab based to ask the particular method that you follow with the shear how you will have If you ask me, generally speaking
I give within the humbly school generally speaking, if I don't, then I'll tell you
otherwise. But generally speaking most of this stuff, the default is that I'm going to give you the humbly position. And so of the differences between hola and talaaq is that the holdout cannot be taken back by the husband. Once the husband agrees Holocaust and the story, the announcement takes place. And so the whole lot is not a palace. This is another key point, it is an announcement of the technical term is fest of the marriage. Therefore, if the whole act takes place, the husband cannot change his mind. Whereas the product he can change his mind and the three months or the three menstrual cycles, he can change his mind was the hola is given, the lady leaves immediately.
Excuse me, she does not need to spend two, three months or one month in the husband's house, nor is the husband obliged to take care of her during this time, she simply goes to her own home, or to her parents or brothers wherever she wants. And she waits. And again, there's a big controversy, how long one position is that one month, she waits one cycle, and then she's free to remarry. Another position is three months, and she's free to remarry. But the point is that whether it's one month or three months, that the husband does not have the right to return the wife because now he's given it up, he's forfeited his right, because she has paid the money back, she's given his money back to
him. Now he has no right over her whatsoever. This also means according to the Humphrey School, that the three products that are allowed hold does not count as one of them. So Florida has nothing to do with those three products. If they wanted to remarry, after a year or two, they would have to do a new liquor. And if for whatever reason, the husband decided to Uh, no, to finish the marriage. And to give it all up, that will be the first to hold up would not count as a product. This is the company school, the hanafis. And others have different positions in this regard. So the point being, there's a number of key differences between hold out and thought out. And I explained, the main
point is that hold on is initiated by the woman, and she gives them her back and product is initiated by the man and the woman keeps them ahead. This is the main difference here. Now.
Our brother hessen says the wife asked for divorce, and the husband gave it but there was no monetary exchange, there was no point of the wife saying I'll give you the money back. This is not a hoarder. Rather, it is a request for a title. And a request for a follow up is simply a request for a thought after all, but it is. So it is basically a simple request, the wife has the right to say we're not getting along, you know, you know, and by the way, and again, I mean, we should always make these disclaimers. Just like we prepare for marriage and think about marriage and think long and deep should is this person the right person for me will praise the harder. So too, as we plan
for marriage. We should plan for divorce. If we're thinking of Divorce, Divorce should never be done spontaneously. Divorce should never be done on the spur of the moment. It is one of the biggest mistakes and by the way, out of the hundreds of emails I get every single week, the largest quantity are regarding divorce or whether it's really sad, the largest quantity about emails that I every single shelf gets my husband did this my wife did that. You know this that is just marital issues is a huge issue. And we need to really, you know, talk about this frankly, divorces should never be given on impulse. You plan a divorce even more than you plan the marriage. You think about it, you
talk to people, you talk to your spouse, you try to work it out. And then if after all of this and it's DFR and st Shara and talking it you both decide that it is best to not remain then you decide for the divorce and then what type of divorce is a prenup is at first. This is again decided and again as I explained, generically speaking, if the wife is dissatisfied for her own reasons, then it's going to be the holder and she should give them 100 back and if the husband is dissatisfied for his reasons, then it is thought out and she gets to keep the mahak in this case, if the wife asks for a doc, this is not hold on. This is asking for the lock. And it will only become hold on if she
then adds on to it. Look, I'm gonna give you my mother back. I want to end this marriage. Once she says I want to give you the Mahara or take whatever you want from them I have 50% so she negotiates basically giving back what he gave her okay because obviously, you know, it should not be more and anybody who does more than this has really fallen to the Lord. No lady should give more than what has been given to her this would be looking with the husband demanded more. But if he were to demand his amount as they look, the man was 50,000 you know, I treated you fair and square. I don't you know if you don't like you know, you know
Or whatever then you want to leave the marriage I want my my 50,000 back then the wife says okay, fine, I will give it back to you the minute that that negotiation is done then they are no the marriage they finished the marriage. In fact, according to the federal from the Humphrey School that one of the positions even if he uses the word doc, right, but in the context of hola and what is the context of hola the context of Allah is if she gave the money, okay, that he goes okay, talaq Turkey, he took the money, it goes to Locky, even he used the word Tanakh. But he took the money. And the context is Hola. This is Hola. So the main point of hula is that because the wife gave the
money, she gained the freedom from her accord and the husband has no right over her to say I changed my mind. I'm going to take you back if there is no money involved, and she said let's end this marriage divorce me and he says okay, fine. I agree. I divorce you. This is a simple divorce based on the request of the wife. That's not hola requesting a divorce is a request of the divorce it is laquita. So I hope that that is in shallow data. Clear and Eliza knows best.