TaSeel #43
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Channel: Yaser Birjas
Series: Yaser Birjas - Ta'Seel
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AI Generated Summary ©
The importance of observation and setting oneself apart in relationships is emphasized, along with the use of walima for various purposes, including preparing for weddings, weddings, and weddings. The translation of the holy month's meaning is a false translation of the holy month's meaning, and the importance of not being smart or clever is emphasized. The speakers stress the need for flexibility and support in avoiding conflict, finding the right person for a relationship, and avoiding negative behavior towards men and women.AI Generated Transcript ©
Welcome to,
our final session in the month of Ramadan
Insha'Allah to Aseel class. We're gonna be covering
inshallah from the book, Imam Ibn Qudam, Rahimullah,
Muqtasir Muhammad Qasadeen,
the refinement of character,
the part on the refinement of character
on section 3 which is the etiquette of
graceful companionship.
We covered last week, we covered together,
tabul i'shar, the meaning of having good companionship
overall and,
which is
more focused on the subject of akhlaq and
manners.
Your akhlaq and your manners and how you
treat each other, what needs to be done,
and how do you display the akhlaq and
masjid come to dealing with the spouse. And
today inshaAllah ta'ala he's gonna be elaborating,
he's gonna be adding a little bit more
in terms of specifics
on how to make sure that qaulallahu ta'ala
wa ta'ala wa ashirunna bi'ma'roof treat them kindly
that what does it mean exactly in detail.
So, inshaAllah we're gonna start with this.
I just wanna alert the parents that as
we move into the discussion
there might be a couple or three points
where it might be a little bit sensitive
for younger ones
in regards to the specific of intimate connection
between a husband and wife. Just to let
you know, so that at least if you
want them to be present or otherwise. Nam.
Alhamdulillah
writes,
section 3, the etiquette of graceful
companionship and the duties of both spouses.
With respect to the husband, he has to
observe moderation and good character in 12 things.
Now, before we move into the 12 things
insha'Allah, are these numbers now specific meaning that
these are the only 12 things that he
needs to observe?
Obviously not. But it's just it's Istihat from
the Ulema who wrote the book that these
are the 12 things that, you know, generally
you need to observe.
Now, why did he start with the husband?
Do you guys remember when we talked about
the marriage in general? Why he start with
the husband first?
Because the husband is expected to propose. They
are the initiating of the nikah.
They are the ones who go and,
and look for marriage and propose. So since
they are the one who initiates that, it
always befits, you know, it's more appropriate to
begin with their etiquette and their manners inshaAllah.
Now.
Number 1, the wedding banquet, Walima, it is
something recommended.
The first thing is Al Walima. When you
say Walima, what comes to your mind Ajamal?
Biryani, right?
Right away.
Immediately.
So, the woleema
is basically,
it's the meal that is usually associated with
the nikah.
Now,
how this happened at the time of the
Prophet
the Messenger of Allah
He actually he recommended,
you know, when people get married that they
serve food and celebrate with the people.
He himself Sallallahu
Wa Salam Alahee,
that he that the highest the highest of
the walima that he served was
actually serving a goat which means it was
actually slaughtered, it was cooked and was served
to the people. And that was the that
was the walima for Zaynab radiAllahu ta'ala.
And he
also did the walima with
which means 2 handfuls of barley.
What are you gonna do with barley anyway?
You're gonna eventually probably roast it, you're gonna
crush it, and mix it with some date,
and some other, you know, things that's not
even touched fire.
Eventually, it will feed
like a date meal you could say.
So, something like cookie, if you could say
it this way. So, that's something that Prophet
Sallam also served as a woleema
for his father. The same thing after when
he married Sofia Radialatir Anha on the way
back from Khaybar.
The next day he also served some dates
and
some haif, which is mixture of
some, you could say,
butter kind of thing like a ghee and
dates and some of the barley as well
too. So that's the kind of like the
way the prophet said. Now the question is,
is there any limit for it?
Does it have to be goat? If someone
says I'm gonna do this sooner, inshaAllah, 1
goat is enough. Oh, you know what? We're
on budget, so we're gonna go with barley
this time, inshaAllah.
Does it have to be that way? The
answer is no. Can you spend $100 on
it?
Some of you are smiling like, really $100?
If it wasn't actually $100,000 a lot of
moustan these days and that is a
lot. These expenses are completely, completely ridiculous. It's
supposed to be
humble because the whole purpose of the Wali'ma
is what?
Which means to spread the news about the
nikah and also of course, you know, celebrating
the marriage itself. So, that's the purpose of
it in whichever capacity is done. Now, the
other question the Urimati asks is when the
Walima should be done?
Is it before
Danica,
it is on the wedding day, is it
the next day in the morning after the
consummation of the marriage? So, all these are
options, the ulama, they have brought into the
discussion,
but they say the conclusion is actually customary.
So, there is no specific timing for the
Walima.
So, sometimes, the people want to do the
actual proposal,
the actual marriage contract,
and the wedding,
and the walima all in one night. Can
you guys do that? Yeah. You go to
a banquet, for example, you have the food
served, they do the nikah there, and they
celebrate Bismillah, the next day they move on
with their lives. So that's permissible.
Or does it have to be the next
day in the morning?
It doesn't have to be the next day
in the morning. In any way, in any
time, that's actually,
yeah, yeah, you can do that. But is
it even mandatory to have walima? So the
majority of the ulema, the majority of the
ulema as Imam Abu Qudam or hamillah alluded
to it over here he says something recommended
except in the Maliki school. They say actually
it's obligatory
because it's essential to the nikah, to the
contract itself. That is actually an opinion in
the Maliki school. But overall the jimuho, the
majority of the ulama they say it's actually
just recommended. So, even if you skip it
altogether like you serve nothing,
it wouldn't be any problem.
Now, can,
can these gift bags that people distribute on
a wedding day consider the?
You know, those,
what do you guys put there? A date,
maybe a few kisses, chocolate kisses, and all
that kind of stuff. Would that be considered
the Walima?
Yes.
I don't know. I hope so.
Inshallah.
But the whole idea is just celebrate with
the people with some food Inshallah. That's the
whole
To good treatment with the wives and enduring
their harm, which is a result of their
deficient intellect.
It occurs in a hadith,
urge yourselves
to take care of women, for they were
created from a rib,
The most crooked part of a rib is
above. If you try to straighten
it, you will break it, and if you
let it be, it remains crooked.
So, urge yourselves to take care of women.
One of the most
misunderstood hadith and the translation make it even
worse.
Like, seriously, it really makes it so horrible.
And I wanna actually pause on this one
to explain it inshallah to Allah in much
more details.
First of all, the hadith that is in
question over here is not this one as
a matter of fact. It's the other hadith
in
Sayyaf Muslim and Bukhar as well.
In which the prophet salallahu alaihi wa sallam
after Sateel 'aid he went to address the
women with a special talk.
So as we're speaking to the ladies, and
he says,
give charity because I've seen a lot of
women end up in Jahannam.
How come you Rasool Allah? He said, because
of their kufr.
Do they deny Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala? No.
No. No. They deny
which means their husbands.
If
you were good to them your entire life,
and she sees one thing from you, she
would say, I've
never seen a good day with you.
So, that's kind of like the kind of
argument that was brought into the discussion. Then
the prophet says,
I've never seen anybody
who is.
I don't want to lose translation now because
I will mess it up, but I want
to make the Arabic and then we talk
about it. He says, I've never seen someone
who is
who can really,
like, persuade
and sway the most determined person away from
their way like you, like you do.
So, this hadith, they talk about, that's
what was translated over here as deficient
in intellect, which is a horrible translation really.
It has nothing to do with the Arabic
text actually.
So, unfortunately it's a common translation by the
way, but that shows how weak the English
translation in regard to this matter.
But, the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, when
he mentioned that al Imam al Qadhi Iyal
in his commentary
on the hadith of sah Muslim in his
book Al Mu'lim,
he says, hadith
The prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam when he
spoke those words he was actually praising the
women,
not the other way
around. How so? Because if they understand how
it is, you realize how this is considered
to be praised because, like, men perceive women
in a certain way, however, these women are
so smart,
so clever
that they can change anyone's mind
easily with their own, actually, clever ways. That's
the rough translation, the meaning of the hadith
in itself. But now what's the point with?
The word means what?
The translation says deficiency,
but actually, the wrong translation.
When you're saying something that is
What's the what's the opposite to it? What's
the what's the other way the other word
for it? The opposite to it.
Kamal, completion.
So, means you have something that is
the opposite to it is what? Is to
be complete.
So then, if you say complete, what would
be the opposite to the word complete in
the translation would be then? Incomplete.
So the word knocks doesn't speak about deficiency.
It speaks about completion,
incomplete, perfection,
imperfection in that regard. That's the first thing.
The second that the prophet said,
The word
Now, unfortunately, the English word that is used
for is what?
Intellect,
which means to identify what?
Cleverness, how smart they are,
and these kind of qualities.
But the Arabic word, Aqal, in itself over
here has nothing to do with being smart
or otherwise. Because what's the opposite of being
smart or clever?
Dumb or stupid.
But this has nothing to do with this.
And how do we know that? We know
that from actually from the meaning of the
word in itself, number 1, and number 2,
from the example the prophet had shown us
in the hadith.
Because when he was explaining the nakzal aqal,
they said because the women they asked
how come? How is that incomplete?
He says, as for her
the incomplete or I would say in this
case, like,
of of Aqal,
he said, the Shahada, her testimony, when she
testifies, 2 women
testify
in comparison to a man, like a man's
testimony is equivalent to 2 testimonies from women,
specifically
in financial matters
and, in certain areas of the judiciary.
Otherwise,
women's areas,
a testimony of 1 single woman will be
sufficient for a 100 even men.
Women issues, like what for example? The Prophet
Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, he took the testimony of
a woman when she told a man she
saw him walking with a woman one day,
his wife.
She said, by the way, I
nursed you both when you were young.
Can you imagine walking to your wife and
someone comes, hey, by the way, I nursed
you both together.
What does that mean exactly?
This is your sister.
So the man was just like, oh my
God. He goes to the prophet
and the other day I was walking with
my wife and then this lady she comes
and she says I nursed you both when
you were young.
And the prophet said,
that's it. It's it's done. Your marriage is
over.
What are you going to do with her
testimony?
Like the testimony of 1 woman over here
was sufficient to nullify the entire marriage because
that's her business,
that's her area over here. Similarly, when it
comes to, for example, when does the idah
begin? When does the idah end? A woman's
testimony is sufficient when she says it's over.
Halas. There is no need for her to
have another person with her to say, yeah,
she's right. No need for that.
So, the whole idea of 2 testimonies, or
2 women for 1 man, is not always
in every area of,
the judiciary, basically. There are specific areas over
here.
And, that is the area that requires what?
When the prophet says,
what would be the opposite to it over
here? Let's talk about something interesting here. The
prophet
was not establishing
a fiqh rule in this statement.
What was he doing over here? Highlighting
nature,
highlighting something that is natural.
So, now, let's talk about a husband and
wife. When a husband and wife, they argue
with each other, and the man comes to
complain about his wife, what is the most
common thing he complains about his wife?
She's too emotional,
she's drama queen,
all that kind of stuff. What does it
mean by that?
Like, very common statement I hear from young
people when I say, so what's the problem?
Because I don't know, she doesn't see things
the way I see it.
And what does he mean by that?
She doesn't do logic,
it's not rational,
and that's why no matter what I say
to her, she doesn't take it from me.
Like, no matter how
truthful you are,
no matter how strong your evidence is, even
if you bring the Quran and the Sunnah
and you recite that with the voice of
Al Minshawi even.
If she was not in that moment
willing to take it from you, she would
reject it.
She's not rejecting the hap, she's rejecting what?
You in that moment. And what is that
exactly?
Feelings, emotions.
Right? So, when the prophet says,
that means actually,
in opposite to what? Rational.
And, in this situation, it has nothing to
do with intellect.
It's a matter of perception of things right
now.
But the thing that men, they actually highlight
as weakness,
what is that concern for women?
Perfection.
I mean, women are known to be more
emotional than men, that's natural.
More and that's why the prophet
he says,
He says, many men, they reach that human
perfection,
but few women did. And he mentioned,
Mariam,
Khadija,
and Asiya, the wife of the Frawn. Right?
What does that mean when he said about
men, sallallahu alaihi wa sallam?
That a lot of men also are what?
Because
a lot of men a few a lot
of men were complete, were perfect in that
sense, like, they are sensible,
but that means not everybody.
So you still find some amongst men who
actually also have that nakzal aql as well
too.
So a is highlighting the nature of them
being emotional.
So that's why when they give testimony, for
example, a man when he gives testimony, he
sometimes there are consequences, deal with it. But
women are more agreeable.
So, because they are agreeable, you know what,
sometimes she feels, you know, no, I don't
want them to be harmed so she kind
of might change the testimony
to kind of like alleviate
some of the ruling that might happen to
this individual, and as a result another person
might say, no, that's not what happened,
as a reminder for them. So, it's a
matter of perception, a matter of being emotional
versus
rational.
Similarly, when a woman complains about her husband
in an argument, what is her biggest complaint?
He doesn't listen. He doesn't
listen. Like those ears are just decoration.
So for her, he doesn't listen.
What does he mean when she said he
doesn't listen? Wasn't he listening to her? Because
the man's argument
would be what when she said you're not
listening? What would he say to her?
He said, are you kidding me? I've been
listening for the past 20 minutes.
Not 20 years, 20 minutes, Annie.
But what exactly he's trying to say, what
she's trying to say?
He is trying to
He's
not getting
it. He's not getting it. So, the use
of language is even different. When men talk,
they focus on the content, and women, they
focus on the context.
So, women, they focus on what was said,
and women usually focus on how things were
said, so they can figure out why this
possibly
was said in the first place. So, when
you
respond, a lot of women respond to how
they feel about what they hear, not what
they hear. A lot of women only just
answer to what they hear regardless
of why this was said actually. And that's
why we disconnect a lot of disconnect between
men and women.
So even in that sense,
that men who conceive or perceive women
not to be as perfect in terms of
rational
and
the perception of matters like this, logic,
the prophet said
they were able to persuade this man who
believes himself to be much of the smartest
person, or the strongest, resolved man, they can
select him and have him change his ways.
Now, the other idea is changing the,
oh, Naqsa De Din. Naqsa De Din.
Similarly,
a Nox in their Din,
which means here religion, because you want to
use the word religion.
Nox, what does that mean? Again, it's being
incomplete.
It's not being
deficiency, it's being incomplete.
How so? What was the example the prophet
gave to highlight this matter about women? What
was it?
Their period. Right? So when they have their
period, what do they do? They don't pray?
They don't fast? Is that considered deficiency?
No, it's not. Actually, it's for them. That's
perfection for them. When they stop praying and
fasting, that's what they're supposed to do.
They're supposed to abstain during this time, so
that from them is being religious,
when they abstain from praying and abstain from
fasting during this time.
However, it's considered incomplete in comparison to
what? The number of days
men would fast, the number of days men
will continue to pray. So it's a matter
of being complete versus incomplete, not a matter
of being deficient
or otherwise. So that's one of the most
unfortunate misunderstood.
As a matter of fact, the other hadith
that was highlighted also, which is
mentioned as a Bukharan Muslim.
As well as the prophet mentioned that in
the last
sermon.
He said,
I urge you. I urge you in regards
to your women, which means to take care
of your women. And he says,
they were cut from a rib.
Referring to what? A metaphor to what? To
the understanding
in that manner. Just like we said about
the difference between men and women. And these
are natural things, not that it's establishing any
specific rule, but it's highlighting the nature
between men and women. And there are so
many books out there actually that speak about
the difference between men and women, how they
eat things and how they see things. So,
here the prophet says exactly the same way.
He says, therefore, if you're gonna try to
fix her, which means if you're gonna straighten
that rip, which means what? If you want
her to start thinking like you, what are
you gonna do?
You're gonna break it
because that's not natural to her.
So, no matter how much you try to
convince your spouse, for example, for women, for
example, no matter how much you try to
convince your husband to connect with you on
an emotional level,
there's a bandwidth that he can handle
and then after that he's out of that
range.
Similarly, if the husband is trying to kind
of like put that on his wife as
well too, to that level like he does,
there's a specific bandwidth and after that it's
beyond their, you know, kind of like nature.
So, therefore, as long as it's within the
nature of men and women it should be
fine, it should be okay. That's when men
and women connect with each other. Outside of
that will be difficult.
Outside of that will be difficult. As a
matter of fact, like I said, what is
considered weakness,
what is considered weakness for a man in
regards to some of those traits can be
considered strength
and a good trait for the right being
emotional, for example,
and vice versa. So, this is the meaning
of this hadith. I just want to make
sure people understand
has nothing to do with being smart versus
being dumb, stupid, or being religious, or being
astaghfirullah wicked. It has nothing to do with
that. It's just a matter of, you know,
perception of completion and perfection.
Know that good manners with a woman do
not mean refraining from harming her but enduring
the harm
at that causing caused by her and showing
clemency in for her heedlessness ties and anger,
anger, anger, for her heedlessness
ties and
anger and imitation
of Allah's
Messenger Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. So, So what does
it mean before we get to the hadith
inshaAllah ta'ala? So he says that look, you
have to understand when the prophet said you
need to bear bear patience with your spouse,
with your with your wife, He says that
you need to make sure that it's not
a matter of you refrain from harming her.
What does that mean? Like, most men, when
they have an argument with their spouse, what
do they do?
In order to avoid the conflict, what do
they do?
They walk away.
What does that mean? Well, I don't want
to cause any problem.
Well, you start another problem right
now. Like, if you just always walk away
from conflict,
you're always gonna start another problem. So he
says it's not about, you know, just avoiding
and just staying away from it. No. It's
a matter of actually being there
and endure
the hardships of dealing with this situation.
Like, she's still upset with you, and she's
gonna start now complaining to you about her
day.
Now, most men would say, and they start
complaining about their day as well too. And
it becomes now a debate who deserves to
be more tired, and exhausted,
and escalating the situation
versus listen,
observe,
give them support,
and let them,
vent out to you until they feel comfortable
with that.
In the meantime, you have to endure that
hardship. That's what he means by this now.
It occurs in the 2 Sahis and the
authority of Omar Radianhu that the prophet saw
that that the prophet once
bandied words with him, and one of them
would stay away from him during a day
until night.
This is a famous hadith.
The hadith is known as hadith.
Hadith
when the prophet, sallallahu, sallam, he gave an
oath to stay away from his wife for
about a month.
And the reason why is because, the prophet
usually gives his wife
their allowance
annually or quarterly. So whenever there's a the
season comes, so he gives them the budget
as much as he had, sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam, and he distributes that among his wife
based on their needs.
So, khalas, they take their allowance for the
whole period and they're supposed to ration this
based on their, of course, skills.
That's the whole idea because they didn't have
like us, mashaAllah, paycheck to paycheck and the
money has tabarak ar Rahman, a pipeline of
income keeps coming like this. No.
They work from season to season, depends on
how much food they have and they need
to ration this for the season and so
on. Which is why
sometimes we have the hadith of the Prophet,
sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, when people go to
the house of the Prophet and there's no
food.
And they would ask, where would you be
eating all these dates?
Dates and water. Like, no cooked food.
They only use dates. They make different meals
with dates, by the way, like mixing dates
sometimes with butter, sometimes mixing with
flour,
sometimes
they mix it with
cheese or milk, actually,
but there's no cooked meal,
and they eat it. That would be their
food. So, even the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam's household did not have this much. So,
the wives of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam, every time they hear about war spoils
coming from an area,
they rush to the prophet before
he distributes everything to everybody else, says, can
we have some?
Can we have some? Can we have, like,
can I have more? Can I have more?
Like, the budget for this month is not
enough. I need more. I need more. And
the prophet kept telling them, no, you got
your money, you got your allowance. Halas, that's
it. You got it. You got it. This
is not my money, the money of the
people. So, they could continue to complain and
obviously the wife of the prophet salallahu alayhi
wasalam, human beings, like everybody else they would
like to have an improvement of their life
and livelihood. They also wanted to have that,
but the prophet had his own standard.
So, therefore,
they would be upset with him.
And sometimes they probably would go home and
they don't want to talk to him.
Can you imagine, Ajamal,
the prophet says, I'm going to the house
of Hafsa, the house of, maybe Sophia or
Zainab, and she's giving me a cold shoulder.
Right?
And, he's talking to her, she's ignoring him,
completely ignoring him.
I mean, I know the lady said, well,
if I were the wife of the prophet
sasamullah,
I would never do this thing. Yeah.
But, you have all these sahabiyat, and they
had to go through the same circumstances.
So there were some times where the prophet
would go home and they're not talking to
him. And, ibn Umar, when he heard about
that, he got scared, so he rushed to
his daughter's house, Hafsa,
the wife of the prophet
he said, yeah,
is that true?
Is that true? Sometimes you get upset with
the prophet and you don't talk? She said,
yeah, Sometimes we get upset with him the
whole day until the night. Like, she's proud
of it, Yali.
Right? So Amar here goes, Carla, don't do
this.
You're not like Aisha. Don't expect yourself to
be Mashallah's favorite like Aisha. Like he said
to him, like, Aisha can do it and
get away with it. You can't. Be careful
what you do. And there was that time
when the prophet was fed up with this,
said I'm done with this. So, he gave
an oath, he said, I swear I'm not
gonna be near you for an entire month.
And, the rumor spread that the prophet divorced
all his wives. Eventually, he said no. He
did not. He just.
He decided to stay away from them, for
a month, and by the end of the
month, Allah revealed the aya to the prophet,
sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, to go to his
wife, giving them the choice.
You wanna stay with me? You stay in
my standard.
You wanna have that luck Zahra's life? I
will give it to you, but you're gonna
have to leave me. So they all chose
to be what? The wives of the prophet
sallallahu alaihi wasallam.
So, here's the example here. He said, like,
the prophet he endured a lot of those
hardships.
He had to deal with those moments and
these difficulties and hardships and not listening to
him and so on. But at the end
of the day, the prophet endured all these
hardships. And, also, like we said, there's always
limitation to that bandwidth eventually now.
3, playing and joking with the wife. The
prophet Sallallahu alaihi wasallam competed with Aisha Radianha
and would play with his women.
Once he Sallallahu alaihi wasallam told Jabal Radianha
why did you not marry
a virgin bikh who could play with you
and with whom you could play to? No.
So, there are there are many beautiful examples
actually
from this matter
and, the prophet
he
was
very humble,
down to earth. When it comes to being
at home, salawatulullah wasalam was a very simple
man.
Nowadays, a lot of women, they complain their
husbands, masha'Allah, out there.
Their smile is from ear to ear.
But, the moment they come home, they start
frowning.
Like, there has to be like a military
kind
of like disciplined lifestyle.
And, the moment they come and some men,
unfortunately, they think that this is actually something
to be proud of. Like, the moment I
come home, everybody goes quiet.
Yeah. Is it out of love, out of
respect, or out of fear?
Don't tell me I don't care. The prophet
was better than you. Even Rasulullah he was
joyful at home. And from these examples that
he said about Muzaa, he brought the example
of Aisha radiAllahu anha. When the prophet was
traveling with Aisha radiAllahu Anha, there was a
moment when he said, hey, let's race.
So, they were racing. But just to put
things in the right hand context,
back then, when you traveled, you traveled on
the back of a camel.
So, how long does it take you to
travel from Mecca to Medina these days, Jema?
If you take the train, how long does
it take you? About 2 and a half
hours on the train, mashaAllah.
And what do you see outside of the
window?
The same thing.
Desert from the beginning to the end. Imagine
you go on that trip for a whole
week,
like on the back of a camel, your
camera is moving and moving and after maybe
half a day you look out of the
window or you just open the tent that
you have covered in an overview, what do
you see?
The exact same scene.
Right? So it's it's really boring. So the
prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam, he wanted to
kind of like
kill that boredom for her. So, he would
send the whole caravan to go ahead and
he'd be walking with his wife, and as
they walk, what do they do with Jamal?
What do you think they would do when
they'd be walking together?
Chit chatting.
Because I know some people, they just don't
even want to think what the Prophet will
be doing with Aisha.
They will be flirting,
they will be joking, they'll be chit chatting,
maybe holding hands, maybe, you know, whatever.
One of those women, the prophet told Aisha,
hey, you see that tree? Let's race.
So she was so excited,
and she prepared herself because no one is
watching them right now, just from a distance,
and they start running they start running towards
that tree.
By the way, I want to bring this
to attention here, masha'Allah.
These days, I don't know, it's really weird,
Allah must stand, that sometimes you see on
social media some of the sisters with full
hijab and full niqab and they put in
their videos then kind of like exercising in
the gym.
Do we need to see that?
You have to keep yourself keep your modesty
for yourself,
and don't display that.
You want exercise? Bismillah, go for it. You're
not doing it for me. I want to
inspire other women to tell them that, you
know what? No, you don't.
Just keep it for yourself.
But here,
the prophet sent the entire caravan way ahead,
so they're not seen when they're actually running
and jogging. It's okay to exercise, it's okay
to run for women even, but again, away
from the eyes of the people. So,
therefore, they were running and the first time
she won the race.
And, she was obviously, when she won the
race, I'm sure that she was laughing at
the prophet
and joking about
it. Until the next time, there was another
opportunity when they were, traveling,
and she gave her excuse ahead. She said,
I got a little bit heavier
and,
and I was a little bit older. So,
like, she gave an excuse.
She got so when we raced, he won
that race this time.
And now the prophet was turning around to
her while she's still catching her breath and
he's just laughing with her saying, 1
by 1.
Now, we don't have any records of tiebreakers
but we know for sure that they will
enjoy those moments together.
So, there's so much fun happening in the
household of the Prophet
even actually playing with food.
I know in times like ours right now
whether we're fasting or think of other people's
situation
we say, you can't really talk about these
issues. I understand, but we just need to
know that
an innocent, innocent yani fun at home is
okay. Like in the story
of and Sauda,
Sauda
and
and Aisha were in the same camp, like
the same camp of the wife of the
prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam.
And Sauda was much older than Aisha. Like,
Aisha probably the the age of her granddaughter,
but she was under Aisha's command
because Aisha, she had that personality,
that charisma,
so they didn't.
So, there was that time when Aisha, she
cooked something,
and,
and the food Aisha said that I wasn't
a very good cook anyway, like, that wasn't
her best skill.
So she made a meal, and there was
a lot of grease on top.
So, soda,
she didn't like it, so she did not
eat. The prophet sitting there in the middle
between them, and he started eating. That's Aisha's
food, he can't say no.
And Aisha started eating. She looks at soda
and soda is not touching the food.
So she tells her, why don't you eat
it?
I don't like it.
Like, wow. You're telling that in her face.
So,
Aisha, she goes
You eat, otherwise, I'm gonna spear your face
with this.
And, Saudi just like, no, you don't dare.
Right?
She didn't even finish, and actually she grabbed
some and she wipes her face with it.
Was shocked,
and she looks at the prophet like,
look, what did she do? And the prophet
was looking at her smiling,
and gesturing her, telling her, pay back.
So, they grabbed someone, wiped Ayesha's face with
her as well too,
and they lived happily ever after.
But the idea of innocent fun
is okay. We're not talking about wasteful,
Yani,
behavior. We talking about this innocent fun of
these things, subhanallah. What's wrong with that?
Because you're gonna eat together anyway. Ayesha, she
said the prophet usually would eat, sometimes he
would see the piece of meat in her
hand when she take a bite from it,
and he says give me that piece. So,
he grabs that piece from her hand, and
he would put his mouth
where her lips were when she took that
bite while he's actually locking eyes with her.
Being flirtatious, basically.
That was something fun that I do regularly,
salawatullah wa sallam. So, the idea is that
it's part of what was mentioned in this
hadith
that you've been playful with each other. That's
the meaning of being playful
with one another, InshaAllah. The last point, InshaAllah,
we'll cover this here.
Point 4,
not exceeding the limits of jesting by becoming
so relaxed with his guardianship
that the woman loses all reverence for the
husband.
Moderation is always good. It has been narrated
that once when Omar ibn al Khattab Rayyan,
who disciplined one of his employees, his wife
spoke to him and asked,
oh, commander of the believers,
why are you so why are you upset
with him?
Omar Radian, who replied, oh, enemy of Allah,
what do you what do you have to
do with this? You are but a toy
that is played with and then left alone.
I want so, there are 2 things. Number
1, that narration is all we're gonna have
to explain.
But before that, the prophet salallahu alayhi was
asking the explanation saying that, look, the man
when he comes in having fun and dressing
with your spouse,
making sure that you don't lose respect for
one another.
Like, don't let your
fun moments
be too much that would lose respect for
one another.
As a matter of fact, the lady, obviously,
she doesn't respect the man if the man
doesn't respect himself.
So, you need to have that kind of
charisma as well too that she is looking
up to you as being the leader of
the
house. But at the same time, you are
fun to be around, very respectful,
very loving, very caring, very understanding, and so
on. And the same thing, the lady,
she
also expects
the man to treat her in the same
fashion, with love and respect as well too.
Otherwise, if we lose respect for each other,
like too much reliance, allowing
vulgar language, for example, or stuff for Allah,
bad behavior with each other, losing respect for
another. That's not right. Now, regarding the statement
about Abu Khattab
I looked it up everywhere.
As a matter of fact, Al Hafiz al
Iraqi
who commented and scrutinized all the hadith and
the asar
in which
is the origin of the book itself
he didn't comment on it.
Ibn al Jawzi who also had
a on
was also known for being a scar of
hadith, scrutinizing
the hadith like.
He also did not even comment on it.
So there was really no hassle to the
story. Like, we don't know where the story
came from.
It sometimes could be actually tales or some
sometimes it's kind of like usas they mention
these stories. So, there is really no way
to trace that story back to Abu Khattab
radiAllahu ta'ala. Although, some they gave some extra
details
thinking or saying that it was about,
Ayad of Nganam
who was related to the wife of Umar
Abu Khattab radiAllahu an and Umar he was
holding a grudge against Riyadh or maybe he
was not putting him in the favorite circle,
so she kind of
intervened for him. Like, so what's wrong? Why
do you have issues with Riyadh? So, Ram
was offended by this. That's none of your
business. Stay out of this.
This is not your business.
And he mentioned this statement over here that
you are just a toy you played with
and you were left alone.
Again,
that is not the etiquette of the prophet,
sallallahu alaihi wa sallam. As a matter of
fact, what we learned from the prophet, sallallahu
alaihi wa sallam, is the opposite.
He would take into consideration if he gets
an advice from his wife, sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam. And as a matter of fact,
one of those critical moments in the history
of the Muslim, Umma,
was saved by the advice of one of
his wife, the prophet, sallallahu alaihi wa sallam.
Who's that wife was, Jema? Anyone knows?
Salam
And what incident was that?
The Hudaybia. The Treaty of Hudaybia.
When the prophet signed the treaty with the
people of Mecca
about the 10 years of truce
and then anyone who becomes Muslim, they send
him back
again
to the Meccans,
and all the provisions of that treaty. So
Habaa were upset with it because they were
supposed to be making umrah, and now they
were told, you're not gonna do umrah.
So the prophet told them, take off your
haram, shave your heads, and we're gonna
head home, and slaughter your
animals. And no one was listening.
No one listened. Can you imagine?
About 1600 people sitting there, and everybody just
kind of giving the prophet the cold shoulder.
No one is obeying his command
So he goes so distressed to the tent
of
and he starts
venting to her, to his wife.
He goes, don't you see what the people
are doing? Like, I've been telling them to
do so and so, and now listen to
me.
It's okay, Rasulullah. They're upset.
Like, rightfully upset. It's alright. Understand them. She
said, however, I know that they will follow
your command. Just go out, call your barber,
shave your head, change your hiram, slaughter your
animals, and I guarantee you they will follow
your command, your lead.
And the prophet, he liked the idea. He
liked her suggestion. He went out, did exactly
what she said, and that's what Sahaba was
doing as well too.
As a matter of fact, when they were
shaving each other's head they were so upset
they almost skinned each other.
But at least they followed the order and
the leader of the prophet salawatulahu alaihi wa
sallam alaihi. So this statement actually runs contrary
to what we know from the prophet salawatulahu
alaihi wa sallam However, if anyone wants to
give a justification to that statement anyway, he
says, look, because Allah subhanahu wa'ala said that
this dunya is what?
It's an enjoyment.
And like the prophet said in Harid Jaber,
that you are playful with each other.
So, we understand that probably from this context
that you guys are a source of enjoyment
for one another. So, basically, we enjoy each
other together,
Leave the serious business to me.
Don't get involved in that. For you and
I, let's our relationship stay as it is,
that we are the enjoyment for another,
but that's serious business of the state, leave
it for me. But once again, the prophet
salallahu alayhi wa sallam sunnah is better to
be followed.
So, inshallah we stop here, inshallah ta'ala, and
next time we come we start from point
number 5.
Ready?
So we're still studying hadith number 23
for those who are joining us for the
first time over here. Hadith number 23 from
Al Arbon Nawia.
Hadid Abu Marik Al Asha Radiallahu Ta'anhu Wa'Dha.
That purity or purification is half of our
faith.
Saying
fills, the the mizan, the scales.
So praising Allah
and freeing him from any deficiencies
Charity is proof.
Patience is illumination.
The Quran is a proof for you or
against you.
Everybody goes out in the morning, starting their
day, and they work so hard for life
for themselves.
And everybody is trading themselves, they're exchanging themselves
for something else.
What is that?
Some, with that exchange, they free themselves on
the day of judgment
and others, unfortunately,
they ruin themselves. May Allah make us a
mother to free themselves
So we talked about the meaning of tuhl,
what does it mean to be half a
faith. We spoke about
Now, which one more valuable? Of all those
4 points, there are 2 points or 2
of them are the most valuable. If you
guys remember, what are they?
Saying alhamdulillah
and saying la ilaha illallah.
Why tahmid is more valuable than tasbih?
No. No.
Why tahmid is more valuable than tasbih? Like
saying alhamdulillah
is more valuable than or virtuous than tasbih.
SubhanAllah.
No. It's not about being inclusive.
Because tasbih is freeing Allah subhanahu wa ta
from imperfections,
and tahmid is what? Confirming and affirming
his perfection.
Like we said, if you're gonna be praising
somebody, would you praise them with negative traits
or positive ones?
So, if you're gonna praise someone by telling
him, masha'Allah,
you're not stupid,
you're not ugly, you're not stingy.
Am I am I right now, Yani, a
criticizing a person or am I praising a
person?
It's supposed to be praise, but who's gonna
be accepting from you these
things to praise them, Yani?
And that's why if you're gonna be praising
anyone with these kind of traits, you have
to bring
affirmation of perfection with it. So that's why
tahmid
is higher than tasbih.
And tahleel and tahmid
because tahmid
includes also what?
The
most perfect thing about Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
is what? His oneness. So it's included with
it as well. So today, inshallah, we're gonna
finish the hadith
by reading on
and the rest of the other two points
about his saying
the prayer is a light, sadaqah is a
proof and steadfastness
a radiant light, and in some of the
additions of Sahih al Muslim
and fasting is a radiant light, then these
are 3 types of actions all of which
are lights but some of which are singled
out for different types of light. Before we
get to this, to continue with that, what's
the meaning of saying the 3 are considered
lights?
He said,
He used the word nur for it.
Now, he said for Siam, which is gonna
come later or
Sabr, patience,
he said it's actually considered.
What's the difference between and?
Is
actually a reflection.
Adiyah,
it's from within.
So, the fire the the the sun what
do we call the light of the sun?
And what do we call the light that
comes from the moon?
Noor. That's why Allah mentioned that in the
Quran. That he made
the Hashem He made sun the sun to
be dua because the fire is from within,
but it's a reflection.
Why? Because Assalah
supposed to be a reflection of what?
Your goodness. What's in there? Right?
There is light in salah. It's a reflection
of your iman.
If you have that iman, it's gonna come
out in the form of what?
Salah. Why salah right now is much more
important than zakah and siyam?
They're all obligatory.
But because salah is the first thing you're
gonna be asked on the Day of Judgment,
and it's one of the most difficult tasks
that you do because you have to do
it how how often do you do that?
5 times a day Ajamal.
5 times a day. Unless you're doing it
5 times a day, you have to do
it with what?
Specific appointed time.
So, if you maintain the 5 daily prayers,
indeed, it's a reflection of iman. It's
nur. Charity is a proof.
When we say proof or burhan, it's also
another form of light. Right? You know, when
you find when sometimes you're investigating something
and you think of something so deeply like
that, and then suddenly it hits you.
You know,
even in common culture, in cartoons, for example,
when you get that idea,
what kind of image that comes actually popping
in your head?
Light
bulb.
Right? So a sadaqa is a proof. It's
just like a lighthouse
that leads you it's a prove that it
leads you away from danger.
That's what it means. We can explain that
a little bit more details.
Patience, steadfastness,
is also considered radiant light or or burning
light.
And also was, another narration, instead of saying
he said, a song.
And a song is part of also requires
what?
Patience, Ajamal. Sobble from you. Steadfastness.
To stay away from the haram and not
eating, not drinking. So, it is in that
sense also considered
du'yah, but it has a burning sensation. Why
is that a jama'ah?
It's difficult. You get thirsty, the heat of
the sun, the belly, you know, feels the
fire on your belly when it's empty.
So, from that sense you have it as
a dia. So, just I wanna explain these
3 quickly before we go to the details
inshallah now.
The payer is unqualified light and it has
been narrated with 2 chains of net transmission
about both of which there is some discussion
from Anas, about both of which there is
some discussion.
From Anas did the prophet
said, the prayer is the light of the
mumin.
In the world, it is a light for
the muminoon in their hearts and inner sides
by which their hearts become bright and the
light of the inner side appears. And so
for this reason reason,
it that is the prayer is the refreshment
of the eyes of the people of Tahuwa
as the prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said, the
refreshment of my eyes has been placed in
prayer. So, he is gonna highlight, actually, he
is gonna highlight here that, a salah to
noor in terms of dunya and in the
akhirah. So, the first one he says, in
this world
in this world, it is nur for their
hearts,
nur for their sight. As the prophet
said, that my coolness of my eyes was
made in salah. So that's the first thing.
And then,
the second thing if you go down when
it says, it will be a light for
the Mu'minin in their graves.
It will be light it will be a
light for the Mu'minin in their graves, particularly
the prayer at night as Abu Darda said,
pray 2 rakats in the darkness of the
night for the darkness of the graves. So,
that you eliminate basically your graves now?
At night for a period and someone came
in her sleep and recited to her, your
prayer is a light while the slaves are
asleep and your sleep is the obstinate opposite
of prayer. So anyone knows who Arabia was?
Arabia Al Aduiyah, she was well known of
the, the righteous women of that time.
She is known to be a very ascetic
lady, she had a very righteous life, and
she was known for this kind of, you
know, beautiful poetry.
So, she said those beautiful words. That one
time
she got really exhausted and fatigued because of
her Ibadah,
So,
she overslept and she skipped the time of
her tahajjud.
So, she had in her dream someone come
at her and say, like you're sleeping.
When the salaahu alayhi was the light for
your heart. Make sure that you do that
because this should wake you up and keep
you illuminated now.
In the next life, it is a light
for the mumminoon on the day. So, that's
the 3rd now form of light. So, first
one in the dunya, second in the grave,
3rd in the akhirah.
In the next life is a life for
the muminun on the day of rising and
on the surat, the bridge over the fire
to the to to the garden.
Because the lights are appointed to them according
to their actions.
There is in the Muslim and in the
from
Abdulrah Muhammad prophet
mentioned
that the prayer said,
mention mention the prayer and said, whoever safeguards
it, and it it will be a light,
a proof and a salvation for him on
the day of rising.
Whoever does not safeguard it, it will not
be a light nor salvation
nor a proof for him. So, this is
what the meaning right now that making salah
again, it's a light for you in this
dunya,
a light in the grave, and a light
on the day of judgment. May Allah give
us that light.
Amen. As for sadaqa?
As for sadaqa, it is, it is a
proof, Burhan.
Burhan is the rays of light which are
close to the face of the sun. Like
saying that the aura or the flare of
the sun, you know, the sun flares, the
solar flares.
So just like the the fire comes within
now.
As for the example in the hadith of
Abu Musa, that the ruh of the will
come out of his body at dead having
rays of light like the sun's rays of
light.
From that a category proof is called
because of the clarity of it showing
that which it shows.
Similarly, is
a burhan, a proof of the authenticity of
a person's iman.
The person's contentment with it is a sign
of his experiencing
the sweetness and the savor,
and the savor of iman As is narrated
in
hadith
of That the prophet
said, There are 3 things with which whoever
does them has tasted
the savor of iman.
Whoever worships Allah alone,
and then there is no god but Allah,
pays the zakah of his wealth,
wills his selfless pleased
with it, and supports him to do it
every year. And he mentioned the rest of
the hadith. Abu Dawood narrated it. So the
the points from the hadith here is when
he says
basically like you give it out of, you
know, faith, it coming from the heart
with complete satisfaction.
To Barakah Wa Ta'ala.
When he says God, we mentioned in the
commentary of the hadith, if you look
at the bottom of that page.
We mentioned in the commentary of the hadith,
I have been commanded to fight people until
they witness that there is no god but
Allah and that Muhammad is the messenger of
Allah, and they established the prayer and paid
as a guy. That the prayer is the
distinguishing factor between kufr and Islam. It is
also the first thing for which a man
will be taken to account on the day
of rising.
If someone's prayer is complete, then he has
succeeded
and is saved. We have previously seen the
hadith of Abdullah ibn Amr concerning whoever safeguards
it, that it will be a light, a
proof, and a salvation for him
on the day of rising. So the point
is we're making is that when it comes
to giving charity,
the proof to how is it considered a
proof? A proof of iman. How is that?
A proof of iman, just like salah, someone
to maintain the 5 daily prayers regularly, it
really requires strong iman.
Charity as well too, because you earned it,
you know, fair and square. You spend your
effort,
your money, your investment, your energy,
and you earn all that money.
How easy is it going to be for
people to give this money away
when they know they might not get anything
in return on this dinner for it? It's
It's not going to be
easy. So, when people march like we've seen
in the fundament of Barakah Rahman, people give
in a 100,000, 50,000, 25,000,
10,000, 5,000.
What are they getting out of this? They're
not getting even a piece of paper.
They're getting the reward from Allah but they're
still giving it because they believe in that
cause. And that's a proof of faith and
iman. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Number 6, steadfastness.
As for steadfastness,
it is a radiant light, dia and dia
which is the light which has some degree
of heat and burning in it like the
radiant light of the sun as opposed to
the moon because it, the moon is pure
light in which there is illumination without any
burning.
It is it is He who appointed the
sun to give radiance and the moon to
give light. It is from this point of
view that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala describes the
sharia of Musa Alaihi Salam as being radiant
that is shining.
We give to Musa and Harun the discrimination
and the shining light, and a reminder for
those with taqwa.
Even he also mentioned that there is light,
even he and Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala also
mentioned that there is light
in
the as he said,
However, what is however, what is the predominant
element in their Sharia
is radiant light because of the heavy and
burdensome
commands,
difficult tasks and fatiguing works and the weighty
burdens in it. He was was he trying
to say raima Allahu Ta'ala in the sharia
of Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wa sallam,
he was not called Yeah.
It was always
called what? No.
Because the light of it is very gentle,
very beautiful, and very illuminating and sweet. It's
not burning like the light of the sun.
Like you see,
when the moon is full in the summer,
you enjoy it. It's beautiful, it's sweet, it's
very refreshing.
But when the sun is full in the
summer,
here for us in Texas, what do you
guys how do you feel about it?
Burning. Right?
Like you don't enjoy it very much. So
he says that look, at Torah, the Sharia
of Musa was like duya.
Even though it was referred to as noor
but more like duya because they have a
lot of burdens, a lot of obligations, a
lot of things that, alhamdulillah, were removed from
our ummah.
So for them, if they wanna purify
their thawb, if an ajasa falls on it,
what do they do with it? They have
to cut it.
And, when they eat, there's limitation what they
eat from the animal. Not like you alhamdulillah
when you eat just as long as it's
properly slaughtered this is it, you can eat
it all. Alhamdulillah.
So, there are a lot of limitations in
their sharia that
serves the meaning of saying duya not noor.
Let's move on. It says in regards to,
the different types of sabr, or why was
it called actually lite? Why was it called
lite?
The following page.
On page 375,
second paragraph.
Since steadfastness? None.
Since steadfastness is difficult for people and requires
struggle with the self and restraining it and
holding it back from what it desires, it
is a type of radiant light because the
meaning
of linguistically is restrained.
An example of which is,
the killing by restraint,
which is that a man should be forcibly
restrained until he is killed. The person who
who restrains him being as much a murderer
as the one who does the act. So,
basically, he says, look, the reason why this
is called, in that fashion as the yacht
because there's a lot of heavy,
self control over here. Like there is a
lot of burning desire to do something that
you control yourself from it and that's why
when you exercise patience,
no doubt it is actually considered duya insha
Allahu Ta'ala. He mentioned different types of sabr
and we have covered that many many times
to be patient with regards to fulfilling Allah
subhanahu's commandment,
showing
steadfastness
against disobedience to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and
also showing that sabr in terms of facing
calamities and the test from Allah Azzawajal.
One of those examples
he mentioned as,
fasting, which we already covered that subject because
fasting falls under Sabr as well. We're gonna
move to the Quran, InshaAllah, on page 376.
With respect to his saying, sallallahu alaihi wasallam,
the Quran is approved for you or against
you.
There are the words of Allah Subhanahu Wa
Ta'ala.
We sent down in the Quran that which
is a healing and a mercy to the
and
it only increases the wrongdoers and loss.
Before we move on to actually, how does
it, how does it,
we understand how it is considered healing
and mercy to the believers. But how does
the Quran increase
the wrongdoers in terms of loss? How so?
Is it the Quran itself
or the position that they have from the
Quran?
It's their doing,
their stance from the Quran that increases their
unfortunate
loss as a result of that. Reject Allah's
commandments,
running against it, stopping it from being fulfilled,
all of that it increases them in their
khasara
and their wrongdoing as well to protect us
from Sharan Balaalamin.
Now.
1 of the one of the right acting
first generations said,
no one sends no one sits with the
Quran and stands up from it untouched. On
the contrary, he either profits or loses.
Then he decided this ayat. Which is true.
You read the ayat and you read the
commandments from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and you
understand that you need to do that. But
then what do we do? Whether we fulfill
the commandment or
some other time.
So, if you say some other time, you're
not going to fulfill the commandment, that's a
loss. But if you fulfill the commandment Alhamdulillah,
now that's a barakah and khair, nam.
Amrud
ibn Ubshayid
narrated from his father, from his grandfather that
the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said, the
Quran will be cast in the form of
a man on the day of rising. By
the way, do you guys know who Amr
ibn Shayb is? Who's his grandfather? Who's his
father? Who's his grandfather?
It's actually it's Abdullah ibn Amr ibn Aas.
So, from the companion. So, that's the chain
that he refers to all the time.
The Quran will be cast in the form
of a man on the day of rising
and a man will be brought who had
memorized it and acted contrary to its commands
And and it will become a dispute
saying, Lord, you made him bear me and
what an evil bearer he was.
He contravened my limits, wasted my obligations,
nose in the fire. No. A right acting
man will be brought
who had memorized it and safeguarded his command,
and it will become a dispute on his
behalf saying, Lord, you made him bear me
and what a good bearer he was. He
said, guard at my limits, performed my obligations,
avoided disobeying me, followed obedience to me, continuing
to argue on his behalf until it is
said, he is your business. So it will
take him by the hand, not letting him
go until he dresses him in a set
of silk brocade garments,
ties the turban of kingship on him, and
gives him a glass of wine to drink.
So that's the the definition or the meaning
of saying the Quran.
We're gonna move to the last point inshallah
the hadith. Number 8.
Concerning his word, sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, everybody
goes out in the morning and sells his
self, then he freeze then he either freeze
it from the slavery or destroys it. Imam
Mohammed and Ibn Hiband narrated the hadith
of that the prophet said,
people are comprised of 2 types of
2 People are comprised
of 2 types of those who go out
early in the morning,
someone who purchases himself and then sets his
grief free,
and someone who destroys it. In a version
which ad taqbalani narrated,
people are comprised of 2 types of those
who go out early in the morning, someone
who sells his self and destroys it, and
someone who pays his self as ransom and
so sets it free.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says,
And by the self of what prop what
proportioned it and inspired it with depravity depravity
or godliness.
He who purifies it has succeeded, and he
who and he who covers it up has
failed.
Meaning, whoever purifies himself by obedience to Allah
Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala has succeeded, and he who
covers it with acts of disobedience has failed.
Obedience purifies the self and so it raises
it up and acts of disobedience covers it
over and makes it despicable,
so it sinks and becomes like someone buried
in the soil. So, basically, he's explaining the
meaning of
you could sell and exchange yourself in this
dunya for the akhir or otherwise by this.
The one who
makes a good exchange when you do it
with good deeds, and the one who doesn't,
obviously, do it with bad deeds. So, that's
the summary of what he said. So, finally,
to summarize the hadith for us, InshaAllah, he
says,
the hadith. The hadith shows that every person
either exerts himself to destroy himself or to
liberate himself.
Whoever strives in obedience to Allah sells himself
to Allah, and so he sets it free
from his punishment.
Whoever strives to disobey Allah sells his self
in exchange for a despicable condition and destroys
himself
by such wrong actions as required
the wrath of Allah and his punishment.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says,
Allah has brought from the that Allah has
bought from the themselves,
and and their wealth in return for the
garden.
Up until
his words, rejoice then in the bargain you
have made, that is the great victory. So,
that is the meaning of, the definition of
how you exchange a good exchange with Allah
Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala and you set yourself free.
Now, finally, he mentioned 3 things,
How the salaf Rahimuallahu
ta'ala
set themselves
free. At the best of their good deeds,
he mentioned 3 things actually. I'm gonna share
them with you quickly, Insha'Allah, on page 3
78.
He actually mentions towards
the,
and some of the salaf used to do
that interaction by setting themselves free
with their wealth.
The first one he says, a large group
of the right actions for generations
purchased themselves from Allah with their wealth. If
you guys see
it towards the bottom now.
A large group of the right acting first
generations purchased themselves from Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala
with their wealth. Of whom there were those
who gave their wealth as salafah such as
hadith al Muhammad
and and such as he who gave his
own weight in silver as salakah 3 or
4 times. That is called.
So, that's the first thing he says with
wealth.
They set themselves free by giving charity, so
much charity. The second one, some of them
used to strive.
Some of them used to strive in doing
right actions and say, I'm only working to
set my neck free, such as, Amr ibn
al Utbah. Like all what they do, they
say, my good deeds is I'm doing this
to set myself free, which is a man
in hadithin that
when you wake up in the morning, when
you give charity,
you know, you free every joint of your
body.
You kind of like ransom every part of
your body every single day with your act
of good deeds and act of charities. And
the last one, Wakanda Badeh Salaf, is going
to be on the next page.
One of the right acting first generations? And
one of the right acting self generation now.
1 of the right acting first generations used
to weep and say, I do not have
2 selves, I only have one. When it
is gone, I will find no other. So
he says by crying.
So the first thing he gave as an
example is giving a lot of charity.
The second thing is exert yourself in so
much good deeds and effort.
And the third one is really reflection and
crying your eyes out. There was also Ma'Shaheed
Muslim. The Prophet
mentioned the 7 categories of people who will
be under the shade of Ar Rahman
will be no shade but His
One of those qualities was what? What did
he say about this person?
Someone was reflecting alone,
remembering Allah
in seclusion
and start tearing up.
So, those tears
can be the salvation for someone. May Allah
make us some of those who listen to
the speech and for the best of it,
You Rabbi Al Amin. So, in conclusion, as
you can see this hadith, mashaAllah, is just
like the summary of the entire faith
which means purity is half of our faith.
We said that two meanings that we can
take from this one. Number
1, in regards to faith and there
are 2 categories that will open the doors
of Jannah for you as he mentioned in
the
hadith, so he says it's half in that
sense. Or
by saying,
to who comes
purity comes in 2 ways. There's a physical
purity and the, of course, the spiritual one.
So, Al Iman takes the spiritual one and
Wudu and and Ghusul takes the the first
category. So, the physical versus
the spiritual.
Then he says
saying,
praising Allah
and affirming his perfection fills the entire mizan.
That is the highest level of praise to
Allah
because it also includes what? Freeing him from
any imperfection,
it includes also his oneness
and glorification
as well too, which was the other word
that he mentioned in the hadith as well
too with us. He said,
it is light. And the prophet mentioned,
Salah
will prevent you from committing sins and and
making heinous crimes and this and that. If
you truly pray properly,
the light that comes from your salah will
be sufficient for you to avoid making these
wrongs and mistakes.
Those who give and they give charity, that's
a true
testimony for themselves and for their goodness because
you're giving your money away without having any
ulterior motive.
Steadfastness or fasting is also
is a radiant light and you could say
it's a ray of light because it's the
burden that comes with it, but still, alhamdulillah,
it shines your life as well too.
Quran can be
proof for your goodness or otherwise depending on
how
you follow the commandments of the Quran
or turn your back to them. And finally,
everybody is on a journey to Allah
So, you need to set yourself free.
One of those ways is by giving a
lot of charities, making sure to have a
lot of good deeds, and the third one
is have those moments of reflection.
Let those eyes
shed some tears for the sake of Allah
Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. May Allah make us a
man who listen to the speech and follow
the best of it.
InshaAllah ta'ala, our next class is going to
be on, April 17th.
InshaAllah. And it's gonna be back again on
Wednesday after Marib.
Let's see if you have any questions.
Question here. Are virgin women recommended just for
virgin men or all men? It seems a
bit unfair that a previously married man should
be encouraged to marry a virgin. If you
guys remember, we said that why we always
speak on behalf of the men in this
kind of circumstance because what? The men are
the ones who propose as well too. So
that rule is exactly the same thing for
women as well too. It's better for her
to marry somebody who has never married before.
Now, that's if the circumstances were ideal. However,
I have to
bring the reality to ourselves here in this
society.
Allah and Usdan, we have a high rate
of divorce.
We have,
single moms, single dads, we have widows.
So, people that
have been married before.
So, therefore, it's unfair even to use an
ideal situation like it was to be, for
example, in their time and to project that
in our time. And our situation is different.
Sometimes it becomes obligatory that a person marries
somebody, subhanAllah, to protect themselves
and also
to protect the person in their community as
well too. But many people are still waiting
for the ideal individual to marry and they
wait for too long. They wait for too
long and then sometimes, unfortunately, when they wake
up to the reality, it's a bit too
late for them. So, it's very important that
we take that into consideration with both men
and women. Do I look for not the
best option,
but look for what?
Because, remember, we said there are 2 things.
You look for the best option or what?
The right one.
Which one is better for you?
The best or the right?
The right one. Because the best one is
only abstract.
It's ideal in terms of theory, but in
terms of reality, your circumstances are different than
everybody else. Nah.
Does the waleema have to be from the
man
if the wife's dad insist on their own
event? Does that does the man still need
to do a separate waleema? What do you
guys think?
Does it have to be from the man?
What's the ruling on the Walima again?
Is it mandatory?
It's not. It's supposed to happen. So, if
the man says, you know what? I spent
too much on the wedding. I'm not gonna
do walima. Is it haram?
No. It's not good, but it's haram? It's
not haram. So if her father says, okay,
fine. I'll pay for the williamah. Would that
be okay?
I mean, it's okay,
but it's not the proper way to do
it. It's supposed to be from the man
because the man is supposed to be actually
offering all the celebrations that comes with the
nikah now.
Okay. So, there's a lot of questions about
counseling here Ajamal.
Since we talk about husband wife and communication,
how do
you give the best support when wife complains,
especially about kids? Because I always want to
shift her thought process to be more positive.
You see, the man is trying to make
his wife what?
Think like him.
When your wife complains, she doesn't complain about
you. She doesn't complain about the kids. What
is she exactly doing?
She's just getting it out. That's all.
All what you need to do is
just confirm those concerns,
affirm, you know, her situation,
give her that validation insha Allahu Ta'ala, and
sometimes the answer just can be, you know
what, may Allah make it easy for you,
Allah, I don't know how you do that.
Like, seriously, just understand it.
And, sometimes, she just needs a hug.
Or, sometimes, she needs really a serious solution
from you, being the father.
Come on and take your responsibility with the
boys, for example.
They're misbehaving, it's your responsibility right now to
take care of them because they are now
7, 8 years old, for instance. So, yeah,
it's a matter of mutual understanding, and I
highly recommend for husband and wife if they
don't really have that good communication,
you guys need to go and seek, inshallah,
marriage coaching. You don't have to have a
problem to talk to somebody who can help
you with it. You can, inshallah, improve the
quality of your relationship with that.
Amen.
At what point does her everyday anger become
abused?
Okay. That's not good.
No, these
are specific situations.
Should spilling on one's husband be tolerated under
him? How about being called kafir while she's
super angry and frustrated?
That's horrible.
By the way, this is extremely horrible. Unfortunately,
we live in a society that enables
the law enables the women sometimes, unfortunately, to
do that
because they know if the man, you know,
gets upset
or do anything else or gets physical, he
ends up in jail.
But, it doesn't mean the lady cannot end
up in jail as well too. She does,
if she also crosses the line. But, there's
more chance, a higher chance for the lady
to call the police on her husband than
the man would call the police on his
wife. That's the reality.
So, therefore,
these are horrible regards that are coming from
the man or from the woman. And, frankly,
if the lady, she behaves like this,
I don't know, remember, your husband, he deserves
that respect and if he's, of course, is
not getting it from you
that's a turn off and you're possibly going
to lose that relationship actually.
And if the man, though, if the man
is not actually Yani, he's stepping up to
his role
as being the man of the house and
being the respected one in the relationship
by doing the right thing with his
spouse, then, yeah, he needs to also earn
it.
Just being a man doesn't give you
the respect that you deserve in the relationship.
You need to, of course, perform your role
as being the man of the house.
What do you do when you have a
husband who is not flexible
and all who chooses his authority
over her to limit her from doing things
that are halal, like going to the masjid
or visiting her parents, and so on. Like
we said, you know, being a man doesn't
mean that you're a dictator or
a tyrant.
And we spoke about this in the last
session. We said that comparability brings people together.
What keeps them together, Ajman?
Flexibility.
And what is the highlight of flexibility in
the relationship?
Personal haloq, good manners.
So, if the lady demands things that are
completely off, yeah, the man has the right
to put some limitations. But, if she's not
asking for anything haram, just for the sake
of exercising authority over her, that doesn't make
you really, Yaniyah the real man.
Look at the prophet, salallahu alaihi wa sallam,
subhanAllah,
the most gentle, he never exercised his authority
in that fashion except in extreme circumstances and
situations. That's it. Salaatullah salamalai.
What is the best way a woman can
advocate for her own rights when she
feels as though they are not being fulfilled
or not being taken seriously?
Obviously, it's supposed to be a mutual understanding
between husband and wife, but if the husband
is completely trying to act oblivious or ignoring
her rights and so on, Allah says,
She has the right to bring somebody to
interfere for her.
And that's the purpose of the wali and
the whole nikah thing.
Why does she have a wali to sign
for her in the nikah? Because if she's
unable to go through with her demands or
her requests from her husband, then she has
a man who can come and talk to
this guy.
And If it wasn't her father or her
wali, then at least some authority
in the community can help with that.
But, of course, we always prefer that the
mutual understanding and communication to be better, inshallah.
Isolating the wife from her family and friends.
Can you explain this? Ibn al Jawzi said
the best way to discipline a woman is
by preventing her from speaking with other women
who are not religious or righteous,
who possess evil traits and morals, and preventing
her from leaving the house without oppressing the
need. If a husband is using this,
to isolate his wife from her family and
friends
who haven't done much wrong, is it fair?
I mean, look, this is not even a
hadith.
That's if
the statement is true about him, it's his
statement, and it speaks to his culture, to
his time.
Things are different,
and we don't go by the ulama statement,
we go by where this statement came from.
So, yeah, in regards to preventing
her from speaking to women who can be
a bad influence,
that also applies for a man staying away
from bad influence too.
And even a man can have bad influence
around him from his friends. So it works
both ways. But, yeah, if those those friends,
every time these friends come to your house,
the evening becomes hell,
or the next day we have a problem.
Similarly, every time this guy goes to meet
with his friend, he comes back with trouble.
That means there's bad influence happening over here
from both sides. So, yeah, he has the
right to say, I don't want to see
you talk to this friend, for example. She's
bad influence.
He has the right to say that. Does
she have the right to say, well, don't
talk to this Fulham because he's also a
bad influence? I mean, if she really is
true about this man being a bad influence,
she has the right to tell her husband,
please don't speak to this guy, I don't
like
you to associate with him.
If he doesn't respond to her properly and
insists,
you know, to be with that person who's
proven to be a bad influence, that sin
is on him.
But for her, she needs to obey her
husband and get her reward from Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala for it. I was reading here
from her family
the same thing. I don't know what's the
story, the backstory of this because sometimes, he
might have the right to say that. Because
every time she goes to her family,
they ruin their relationship.
And it does happen,
but of course not for everybody. So, this
is a case by case scenario. I can't
say that this is actually,
fair or unfair. It depends on the circumisas
of Allahu'ala.
So, can you please repeat the type of
light for fasting? He said, duya, which means
it's
a shining light, meaning like the sun rays
or the sun flares
because the the energy is from within, the
fire is from from within. Just like patience
requires what? So much heat of restraining and
self control just like fasting as well too.
As for al salakat to Burhan, just like
saying a lighthouse,
Burhan which means it's basically it's it's a
proof for your iman. No one gives this
much money without expecting anything to return unless
they truly have faith and believe in the
value of what they do. So, just like
a guiding lighthouse for the individual
taking him back to where he belongs to
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
The bad translation for the hadith regarding women's
abilities. Is it possible these translations were written
by people who wanted to taint the image
of Islam to a Western, English consuming, ethnic
audience? I don't think so. Actually, the first
time I read that was for Muslim scholars,
but they were not born here.
The first time I read it actually was
in
Muqtas al Bukhary, and these cars were not
born here. So, English is not necessarily a
native language. Yes, it's an education
for them and they are much more highly
qualified in terms of the language, but not
necessarily
as innate as a natural disposition when you
speak it, you know,
as your
tongue line.
So, therefore, it might be a misunderstanding
also the limitation in the English language, in
Islam.
No matter how much you try, in order
to translate Naqesat to Akwa, you have to
give a paragraph for this
because there are no equivalent words, word for
word, to make that translation
sound right. So, that's why we had to
explain, actually, in more details.
How long should you look at the opposite
gender without feeling of lust in a conversation?
I mean, you shouldn't be looking at all
if that's going to be the case.
But if someone, for example, is speaking to
somebody, like the lady looking at a man,
for example,
and as she's looking at the man, if
there's nothing, actually no feeling
of provocation,
they're fine.
But regardless, men, women, any moment of provocation,
they need to remove their eyes and set
their eyes away. It's more incumbent upon men
to watch their gaze when they look at
women because they're visual spatial and Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala made clear about men versus women.
And women are a little bit different when
it comes to actually to the looks.
No.
InshaAllah.
InshaAllah, we'll,
we'll stop here and
we will continue our discussion InshaAllah on the
book after Eid. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
make us some of those who wouldn't settle
and give us a reward for the 4
Ramanah. And
Eid Mubarak and advance. And shout out to
all of you. We'll see you after Eid.
Also, one thing I want to insha'Allah, alhamdulillah,
since we have a very special occasion coming
tomorrow actually, next Monday.
tomorrow actually, next Monday.