Yaser Birjas – Halaqa 2012 10 17 How To Deal With Peoples Mistake Last Part

Yaser Birjas
AI: Summary © The speakers emphasize the importance of fixing mistakes and acknowledging past mistakes as it is a fundamental part of human nature. They stress the need to provide evidence of past actions to avoid confusion and harm, as well as to correct mistakes and provide options for people to make their own mistakes. The speakers also emphasize the importance of teaching people to avoid gaps between them and avoiding giving them the wrong advice. They emphasize the need for community and setting boundaries to prevent these types of mistakes, as well as for empathy and acknowledgment of one's capabilities to accomplish something.
AI: Transcript ©
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hamdulillah milana min sallallahu wasallam Mubarak and Amina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa seldom at the Sleeman kathira.

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For the past two weeks we were discussing together the son of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in regard to how to fix other people's mistakes. If you ever see someone in a situation that you believe it's wrong, and you believe that you need to help them to get rid of these kind of a flag and manners, how do you approach people? How do you talk to them? How do you deal with these mistakes? Are you obligated in the first place to fix these mistakes are not? What if it was someone who is very dear to you, someone who's close to you? What if it was your father was your mother was your son your spouse, someone that you don't want to cut ties with them if you ever comes and tries

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to give them then I'll see how we learn for the past two years we learned that this is a duty that is the duty of the MBR to begin with Allah subhana wa tada sin the MBR and the most setting in order to give an honorable model for nanoka to enjoin that which is good and forbid that which is evil. To learn that Allah subhana wa tada even in the Quran, Allah azza wa jal, he corrected the mistakes of some people including his ambia, such as in the soul of the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu wasallam, although in our standard perhaps not it's not considered something significant to mention when he just found in the face of a man who was blind but he was so eager to learn his Deen Allah subhanho

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wa Taala mentioned that in the Quran, and he schooled His messenger Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa Salaam Ali, we also learned that the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he himself, he corrected his own companions has the habit of the allow that on him, when they do something wrong, He will teach them why this is something wrong. And He will teach him that which is right Salatu light was ceremony tonight in sha Allah the vatika without and this part three, we would like to learn the sooner the profits or losses from from a practical perspective, how did Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam practically approach these mistakes, and how he taught the people that I

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think salallahu alayhi wasallam. So at the time of the prophets are about the lower ceremony, of course, he was now responsible for the entire oma. So how would he approach all these people sort of what the lie was allamani here's a list of some of his techniques. sallallahu alayhi wasallam these are another techniques of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam on a in approaching other people's mistakes. Number one, whenever the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam saw a mistake that was going on there, and he was responsible to teach the people that which is right, he would immediately approach the person and he would not wait any longer sallallahu wasallam, which means

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it's an immediate thing. When you see something going on, you become responsible for it. And you have to own that situation. You have to go and speak to the person of course, if the circumstances arise in a way that is suitable and it's right for you. An example for this, Elmo see if you saw it, the man who prayed incorrectly. You remember that story we mentioned last week or the week before that, when a man came into the method of Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam. And he gets around to Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam. Then when he came and he and the prophet SAW Samsung come in, and he come he comes to the salon, he says for suddenly vernacular to Salah, he replied to Salah, but then

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he told him go back there and needle your solid because whatever that doesn't count, he immediately told him that's not solid, that's not a correct solid. Go and make yourself again. The man went back he did that three times going back and forth every time the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would send the man back to go and redo his evaluate his Salah. Finally the man realize that he cannot do any better. Korea Rasul Allah, He laughs You know, this is the best, this is the best of what I know what I can do. So please teach me teach me that which is right, I want to know, what am I doing wrong? And how can I do it? Right? So the Prophet sallallahu wasallam did not wait for this

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man. In two years later, or two weeks later next day, he immediately approached this man and helped him to how to run his salon de la jolla was another example the three young men, the three young men who came around the houses of the Prophet sallallahu wasallam. And they were asking about the level of his a vida sallallahu wasallam. You know, how young how young ones they would love to do things? And they would like to do they think that they can do better than anybody else. So they want to compare themselves to Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, and these three young people they went to the houses of Rasulullah, asking about his Riba. They were asking how the profit or loss on prison home

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furama Bureau when they were told about the level of the worship of Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam for unknown taka elucha they belittle that they thought, you know,

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he's the Messenger of Allah, so he doesn't really need to do much for us. We're not at this level, so we need to do more and more even the Canon takala so one of them he vowed that he will never he will never skip a day fasting. Every day. He will be fasting

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He vowed that he will never skip a night. But with dhupia moonlight every single night wouldn't sleep. And the 30s he would never engage into the pleasure of this dunya he said, I'm gonna just vow celibacy, never and get into this dunya not get married. But when the Prophet sallallahu wasallam he heard about the, the, the approach to his houses and what they said, immediately, he made a public announcement sallallahu wasallam he made a public announcement, he says kurama Bella Carmen yaku naka de Vaca what's wrong with those people who say so and so what's wrong with those people say and so on. So, and then he said some a lot of sort of ama will lie. In Nila Camilla shockula. And the

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most fearful to Allah subhanho wa Taala amongst you, the one who reveals a larger the most respect and have fear of Allah subhana wa, tada must the most amongst you. However, he said, that has to be moderation, I fast and break my fast, I pray and I get some sleep. Whereas I was in the sun, I get married. Then he said tomorrow's advances materialism in those who feel that they don't. They don't want to follow my example. They're not from the true my true followers. So from this will enter the Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, he would not wait long. If that mistake needs to be fixed. Now, there needs to be talked about right now, how many times you guys remember how many times you've seen

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opportunities, opportunities that are required for you to speak, to talk to people about a mistake that they have in their lives or their practices. But you never had the courage? You never had the courage? Or maybe you thought to be more diplomatic about it and leave them for a later time. And you never spoke to them about it. There's a night pass by and then you just you know what? Fine, I'll just leave it that way. You never spoke to them about it. And now perhaps you regret because maybe you have no access to these people anymore. So it's very important, crucial. Whenever you see the mistake that you know that needs to be fixed right away. Don't wait. You need to approach the

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person and talk to them right away. Number two, if I asked you the question, how many of you How many of you have tried correcting someone? And when you told them that this is wrong? They immediately asked you why? How many of you perhaps had that question asked to them? Why?

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Almost actually would see, to be a lot of people whenever you tell them something that is wrong, they will ask you why? Yeah, don't do that. They will say Why? What's wrong with that?

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Why do people usually ask why? Because naturally as human beings, we want to know the reason. Tell me what's the * come behind? What's wrong with that? And that's the second point. Whenever you deal with to treat people or deal with people, particularly adults, they need to know, they need to know the ruling. And why are you telling me that this is right or this is wrong? It's not just telling me this is right. And this is wrong. And that's it. I need to know why you took the Miata tequila you cannot do this. They would ask me why? Who said that? So they want another help them the ruling? Why do you say it's wrong. And an example for this Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam he one

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time he saw a man who was sitting down and he was kind of exposing his his his tie he was exposing his tie was revealing his tie out. Perhaps the man didn't know maybe it was situation that he wasn't paying attention to but then the profits or loss and you call upon him his name was Joe hood. Cora

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for in an hour says you know you better cover your size. Because the size our

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cover design, because this is our

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sort of law history lesson we give them and the reason she says listen, just verify he didn't just say cover your thigh. If someone tells a cover your thigh you would say why what's wrong with that? He told him immediately the hook can cover your thigh for an hour because the further the thigh is our for a man. So you need to cover your time. So whenever you talk to people, people, sometimes they are entitled to know why you're telling me that and if you remember from last week, we said that it's good to give them the evidence. If you have an evidence from the Quran or the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu wasallam. You need to let the people know, if you have a son of Rasulullah

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sallallahu sallam, you need to invite them that this is I'm saying this because that's not the example of Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, but we should do that because this is the example of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Ali and that brings us the third point that whenever you try to, to correct the people, the reason you should give them to the people has to come from the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam again, the reason you're given the people has to come from the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu sallam, it cannot be your personal taste. He cannot just tell people that to do something simply because you feel it's good son about

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what you feel. It's about that it's the Quran, or the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, it has to come back to the essence of our Deen. This is the deen something from the principles of this Deen. One of these major issues that happened one time at the time of the Prophet sallallahu wasallam

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lamotta a major crisis almost killed the fitna between the Sahaba of the loud Ron. One of these occasions is one one of the uncertainty, Mahajan. They had some sort of issues among themselves. One Mahajan, one of the immigrants, he had an issue with one of them, the owner of the unsought in Medina. So as they were kind of, you know, fighting with each other over it was something perhaps maybe insignificant. They start calling upon their allies and with whom they think that they're less significant, this kind of partisanship among themselves. So then we'll have to start calling the almajiri module modules help out and the unsalted sound score on the people yell unsought margarine

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saris Come on, help me out. So how to look at the cola they're using even these words that they're using Yamaha jurien module muhajirs module and so these are the names that Allah subhana wa tada has given them in the Quran in Allah named the Mahajan answered in the Quran, the profits or loss of use that for them as well. They use these titles, but they use them for the wrong reason that they almost got create some sort of fitna because of this partisanship, everybody's now calling for their own, what do you call to the nationalities and backgrounds? So when the prophets of Allah, he heard that he immediately came out to see what's going on? And then he reminded the people, he reminded

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the people sort of loud it was called our jaleo anabaena.

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She's What is this? You're doing the call of the jelly? The core of the ignorance among the people who prefer Islam, what I'm still alive between and amongst you, then it sits at a loss and that will happen now. montina leave that aside, because it stinks. It stinks. This extreme tribalism, extreme partisanship for anything besides the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu sallam, he said, it really stinks, just leave it don't call each other for these kind of reasons for these things. So the prophets of Allah sallam, he was reminding the people, reminding the people to return back to the shrine, remind them that this is not the right thing. This is not what you're Muslim.

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Fourth, you need to be united you need to be together. And all those others anything you refer to Allah subhana wa tada and the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Next, whenever you deal with people you would like to help them out. You don't have to just fix the actual mistakes that they've done. Now try to look for the reason behind it. Meaning Why do you think people do these kind of things, maybe they have some sort of misconception. So you need to correct these and fix these misconceptions, not just the actual mistake, because if they have this kind of misconception, they're gonna keep doing it over and over again over and over again. And they will

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never stop committing the same sin over and over again. So the best way of helping them out is try to fix and correct the misconception, because of which this mistake is keep coming up. Let's say someone believes that they have the religious let's say duty to do that, when you tell them you have no duty to do this, you are not responsible for that, they will realize some people they know that at least their belief system is wrong. And therefore you help them out that you should should not be doing that. So for example, if someone keeps all the time they keep calling upon some of the dead to help them out. They keep calling them yeah philon and they keep consuming the Odia and some of the

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saints they believe in them. And they keep basically go on to their graves and so on or even some people that keep carrying with them these amulets, they keep carrying this die within this ominous word them and when you talk to them, why are you carrying this they immediately they're gonna say, What's wrong with that? So you told them because Allah would not like that as a result of lifestyle loss and we don't accept that and so on. They might not answer you answer your call, until you help them to correct that concept and you corrected that concept or misconception is by letting them know you let them know that this is wrong, because who is the one who helps you out? And menuju matara

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Da, da we actually pursue Allah subhanho wa Taala directed the people to think you know, the whole the big picture, and manageable matara, who is the one who answers the call of a motor, the one who's distressed either there are when when when when he calls we actually pursue and alleviate the suffering and he removes the harm for the people who is that Illa Humala? Is it any god besides Allah subhana wa Tada. If you help them realize that the misconception that the deception they're living in, and then they know how much deceive they are they automatically on their own, they will live that and they move on and then after the right way. I remember one of the one of the machines.

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He mentioned in a story that he had to he traveled to a Muslim country, an Arab country as a matter of fact, he traveled to an Arab country that was very well known for these practices where they have graves and shrines and they keep you know making sometimes throw off and do a lot of that in there.

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area. So happy that he was invited to speak in one of these infested area. And he gave a lecture that is exclusively on the matter on the subject. It was a very dangerous it was a very tense situation, but we had to at least talk to the people about what's going on in their area. He said, on the way out as I was leaving, the crowd gathered, and one man he held my hand, he said, Stop. So he stopped. He said, I was kind of concerned. The man he looked me in the eye and he says, He says, I have one simple question for you. He goes, yes. He raised his arm. He said his sleeve. He lifted his sleeve all the way up, and he had a big amulet anti was around his arm, that he was turning

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around his arm. He asked him, he says, he said, he said to him, he says, This. Is it. This is this is right or wrong. That's the only questioning. He didn't want to argue this is this. Is this is right or wrong. They would have told him it's right or it's wrong. And that's it. We're done. But he told him he says, Why are you having this for?

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He goes to protect him from even

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then he told him so well. What's the role of Allah subhanho wa Taala that

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says this is to protect me from Ava that's what he thought. He says then what is the role of Allah azza wa jal subhana wa Tada. Then the man he just nodded his head. And he immediately with his own hand, he said, with his own hand, he grabbed this thing and he ripped it off his arm is the moment he does that immediately we left right away. The point is that this man perhaps has been practicing this for many years. And he didn't know that was wrong. No one was told him ever perhaps did not. It was not approached the right way. And in this occasion, this shape or this island, he just reasoned with him and he helped him correct that misconception. This is wrong because you know, no one can

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assist you but Allah subhanho wa Taala so if Allah is the one who helps you Allah supply the one who relieves you from any harm. So what are you what are you carrying this for? So automatically, unnaturally he himself, he removed that. So remember, whenever he tried to fix the people's mistakes and deal with people, try your best to understand where it's coming from and the misconception that is the reason perhaps these Gandhi's mistakes, help them out, fix it, correct the perception of things and inshallah Allah, they'll make it on their own.

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whenever we try to help people, we have to use the balance between accuracy, and Atari. Whenever we deal with people, you try to balance between,

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give them the path of basically to, to make them concern to terrify them of the consequence of their mistakes, and also to give them hope, in regard to if they quit doing that mistake. You know, some people they just do not really know that there are serious consequences for these practices. So when you remind them that this is haram, and if it's Haram, Allah subhana wa tada would not be pleased, when you do this, you tell them Allah subhana wa Taala would not be pleased with the tequila, if you realize the origin, there is a cop there is punishment, perhaps in the dunya even in the after. So you remind the people, you remind the people with the mistakes and with these errors, which is you

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can kind of reminder about the serious consequences of that action. On the other hand, some people they would like to see hope. They want to know what is there for them in it to them. Listen, Allah subhanho wa Taala. He prepares Jonathan Alba somewhat well. And that's why also the lions sort of La cillum history is not just always about, you know, terrifying that people from john, he also promising people that which is good. So it is important that me and you whenever we deal with people, and if you'd like to advise these people, you remind them with the serious consequence of their action, and also the reward that they have with Allah subhanho wa Taala Rasulullah sallallahu

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wasallam One day, he saw a man a woman that only allowed to run a coffee. He was kind of beating his slave. He was beating him and the profit is so that and the man as he was doing this.

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He heard he heard somebody from behind Mrs. Obama. Obama's road is gonna him almost road. Obama's road started to him. But the man was so busy I was heard was so busy was so angry and upset with him. He said Finally, when he when he turned around to see who's calling for it, and V Salalah, who it was Sallam unity, not Rasulullah his son calling him and he told him Carlos Allah sallallahu taala La La, la, la, la, you know, Allah subhanho wa Taala is more powerful over you than you are over your servant. Which means Look at you. You take advantage of the weakness of this level of the servant. That's a shame. How the * do you do that? How, how could you even do something on this?

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So you know what

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Lots of hands on with data can catch you. And the law is stronger than you over this man. So it's like an intimidating woman. And he wants you to imagine that yourself. When someone tells you this, what do you think you're doing? You take advantage of the weakness of this individual, a loss of one on ones that are much stronger than you over this man. So it was like a revelation. There was like a moment of truth. He stopped, he stopped. And he said that they allow for a lie model optimum Luke and bad article said, I never I never heard any servant after that day. Mr. Muslim, says I never heard any slave after that day. So he was taught the value. He was brought back to the deen of Allah

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subhanho wa Taala. He was given the evidence from whom for the one who has the authority Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam and he was reminded to correct that misconception. So he did radi Allahu, Allahu Allah. And he heard Rasul Allah is Allah Salam. And he fixed that problem, and he never returned back to the same mistake. What do we learn from this? We learn from this, that whenever you deal with people also you need to have a chef aka, you need to show compassion. You need to show sympathy with the people and that's for a solo his solo lesson, we usually do when he would correct the people's mistakes. It's not about liking to punish people. The Prophet never enjoyed punishing the

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people, if they will need to be punished for legal as a legal consequence of their action. He never enjoyed that Salam Salam. But when he dealt with people's mistakes, he always dealt with them with compassion. So a lot of law he was an example.

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The man who did Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam was this man who just swore by the name of Allah subhanho wa Taala he would never approach his wife. He would never approach his wife because she is prohibited like his mother. This is a code of the heart called an anti anti harmonylogic. To me, you are prohibited just like my mother. That's that's a serious matter in the in the deen and Allah subhanho wa Taala revealed the consequences of such a statement even though it just a statement, but it's a very dangerous one. How could you equalize that relationship between you, you want make it like your mother use very serious matter, Allah subhana wa, tada mandates that a person before they

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approach their wives back, they have to do some cafaro, which is expiation of the sin. Number one, if they can free a slave. If they couldn't, they need to fast two consecutive months. Can you imagine two consecutive month back to back for that forum. They couldn't, then they need to feed 60 needy people. This is a very serious matter and they need to be aware of that. So this man, he came to Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam and the woman came to the sort of line said about the laws and asked another sort of law. How can I deal with this man, my husband, how can I deal with him? And the property sympathize with her? He sympathize. However, he did not solve the labor ceremony. He did

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not. He didn't have the control over this issue until the revelation came from Allah subhanho wa Taala sympathize with the people. But at the end, it's in the hands of Allah azza wa jal. Another example is the man who approached his wife during the month of Ramadan. This man who did the same thing he approached his wife during the month of Ramadan, which broke his fast I was also responsible to free a slave or fast two consecutive months or feed 60 needy people as a compensation for that mistake. Now the man he said you're a sort of low and appropriate sauce and told him Can you free a slave? He said Rasulullah sallallahu. ala. Jaso, Allah Allah Allah, Allah had the only

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neck which is the only slave the servant or slave is just my neck. I can't do that. I don't have the money for this. The Prophet told him Can you fast two consecutive months but 82 lemonis says I'm in trouble because of fasting already. How can I fast to continue to two months right now? Then the Prophet Dada okay then can you feed 62 people? He said Yasser Allah I have nothing I'm very poor. Then the Prophet told him just sit down over it wait. After some time, somebody came to the prophets of Allah chillin with a gift of fresh date that can be enough to feed 1600 people. So the property asked Where is that man who had that trouble? So they called him in and the prophet SAW said he said

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Okay, take this and feed it to 60 of the people in Medina. So the man when he saw the food is caught out of sort of law of karma and elevated you want me to feed people who are more poor or more basically need than me and my family walleye, my vanilla butter

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elevated. There is no one who's so much in need and this entire Medina more than me and my family. So basically saying I was a lot we deserve that food more than anybody else. Look, he did all he did. And now he's asking for the food to be given given to him Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, he sympathized with him. He said, You know what? feed your family.

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Somehow, even though he's supposed to feed other people, but the perfect autumn colors, fine. Give it to the feminine. You see, it's not about punishing the people.

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As much as making the people realize their mistakes, and they themselves, correct these mistakes, and this man realized what he did. As a matter of fact, he came to the Prophet sallallahu Sallam in the holiday description. And he was wailing and crying and even beating his strike in his head, got a HELOC, HELOC. You already heard I'm doomed I'm doing so he already realized what he has done. There is no need for you to keep score on the people have they just realized what they've done. But you just need to help them out and shout out to Allah to correct their mistakes and fix that situation.

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Another example,

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or another action away from Rasulullah his Salah Sam to help and correct other people's mistakes, never rush into judgments. Never, never rush be hasty into judging people, many people, they rush into just judging the people because it's sometimes it's easier. It's more convenient. You see some of them something wrong, you start judging them right away. And you have that issue with them. Well in it first of all to stop, think about it, talk to them, maybe maybe they have interpretation different than what you see.

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Whatever that they do. Maybe it has a different reason why the committee what they've done, or maybe they have another another evidence. I remember Personally, I remember personally, a brother one time called me from a different state. And it was asked him shave, who is the one who's supposed to leave the salon for us. I said the one who knows the result of Ronda best. He said well, we have one of our elders in the community. he recites the Quran, but he makes a lot of mistakes. Everybody respects him. He's a very well known person in the community. He's a senior in the community, one of perhaps of the old people in the area, but when he resigned stuff, and that's why the people that

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keep pushing him to the salon, but every time he leaves the salon, he makes a lot of mistakes in the dissertation every time we need the Salah. I said yeah, someone needs to talk to this person. You guys need to talk to him. And just make sure that he doesn't leave the Salah for you. Someone else has to do the Salah is a very serious matter. This is Salah, specifically if he makes mistake in the Fatiha. He said yeah, he does even make mistakes in the fact. So luck. Well, that's a very serious matter.

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Then, as we were almost coming to the end of the conversation, and I myself rushed into judgment. Immediately I rushed into judgment says someone else had to do this a lot. Just right as I about to finish the conversation, remember something I said hold on a second. So tell me, where is this brother coming from? Where is he from? Is he from anywhere from North Africa? I was thinking of Morocco, Algeria, Libya, these places? He said yes, he is from Morocco. I said Allah Akbar said, Can you please ask him if he decides the Quran according to work? The citation

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says I asked him and see if he decides according to work, I said, Are you familiar with a different karate? The word he said no, I'm not familiar with that. I said, Well, perhaps your Imam is reciting the Quran, according to Cairo at Wash, wash and nothing, which is another form of the recitation of the Quran. Ask him if he does that. Your Salah is absolutely valid and there is nothing wrong with what you guys what he's doing. So then later on, I believe next day he calls me back he goes, You know what I asked the man and he said that he was reciting according to wash.

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I said Subhan Allah, we almost just then the visual wrongly, and we almost you know, made another fitna in the community by asking him not to leave the Salah when he was just reciting according to a correct and valid form of citation. That's exactly what happened at the time of the law of the land, at the top of the ladder, and he one day he heard another Sahabi his name was, he shall have been hacking him in his arm. He heard him reciting a surah. There was a little bit different than what he what he learned from the Prophet sallallahu wasallam. So he immediately he grabbed his hand. He says, The Prophet did not teach me to recite this way. And this is the habit of Sahaba a sham even

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Hakeem, he told him, Well, that's how I learned from Rasulullah. So Omar says, This is not the way I taught, I was taught by a sort of law. And this man, he says, This is how Rasul Allah taught me how to recite. So Allah had our fun, Nikita rasulillah, you know, I'm taking it to Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, so he grabbed his hand, and he moved to Rasulullah. And he asked him, you know, sort of law, I heard the Sham reciting in a way different than what you taught me. So the Prophet, he asked them both to the sciences, you decide first. So when Omar recite the surah, the Prophet says, so a lot of them said, you're correct. That's correct. And he asked him to decide. So he chambray started in a

00:29:40 --> 00:29:59

different era, that is also valid. And the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said to them, you're also correct. So that's also valid. So they both were correct under promises, Kyla Kumar, Mohsen. You both are okay, you're both right. So sometimes again, remember, don't rush into judgment. Perhaps it's better to ask the people by

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reasoning says, You know what, I heard you reciting the ayah earlier and Salah in a different way. And I was wondering if this is something you know, you you, you learned or something that you made by mistake. And I remember myself one time I was reciting an ayah. And one brother came and approached me he was a professional and the karate and I really appreciate that a long time ago actually. He said, What's the reason you decided this in this format? Do you do decide according to different karate? I said no, I usually recite according to have an answer. He said, If you reciting according to have an answer, then the sound of this, this was supposed to be this way, not that way.

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Which was something very slight, or perhaps maybe insignificant to many, many people who don't pay attention to them. But he himself being a professional, he approached me in a nice way. And I said Zakah, Lacan Baraka lovely Meadow malata, award you for that. So eventually use this, approach the people and ask the reasoning behind that, maybe again, they think that they're doing something right, and show a lot of work over time.

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Another point, another way of dealing with people who make mistakes,

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you don't have to get upset and angry, to show you the person that you disapprove and what they've done. You don't have to be angry in their face, you know, for us, usually, in order to tell the people that you're wrong, you have to raise your voice, for your face has to change, you start, you start turning red, in order to tell them I'm angry, I'm upset. I don't like what you said or what you did. Who you know, you don't even have to do that. You could be in the most relaxed way. And still let the people know that you disapprove what they've done what you've done, that was wrong. And you give me an example, some of the Prophet sallallahu sallam, when the Prophet was sitting in

00:31:47 --> 00:32:25

the masjid. And we mentioned that example earlier. And this bedwin came in. He looked this way, he saw a group of people sitting in that direction, he looked the other way that that place was empty and free. So he thought it was you know, okay for him to do what he wanted to do. So he went there, and he wanted to urinate to relieve himself. He just wants to answer the call of nature. So as he was about to do that, some of the Sahaba they jumped the man, they weirdly, they jumped of their place, and they wanted to go and beat him up. How dare you do that? In another place. It's the house of Allah subhana wa Tada, the message of Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, in the presence of Rasulullah

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sallallahu wasallam. So they got very upset and angry, and they they should really get angry. But when they did that, the Prophet told him the truth. That was the problem was very quiet, very, very quiet. Just leave him leave, let him finish first learn finish first that was removed, don't hurt the man. Let him finish. And when the man finished, they asked him sort of last time just to pour some water over that spot, where he sold it with an agenda to make it clear and hamdulillah we were done. Then he spoke to the man the man was brought to Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, and I'm sure that the man was terrified. He was was extremely, extremely afraid that the just almost jumped him

00:33:03 --> 00:33:39

and just brought him to Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, he's an individual among all these people. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Allah He spoke with him in a very nice and gentlemen, kala inadi La Mancha Sofia Sherman manana. These places are not not they're not made for these kind of actions. These are for Salah for declare and felicitation the Quran, the man when he saw how the Prophet salaallah salaam dealt with him attitude him how merciful compassion he was with this man. He said call aloha Mohammed, Mohammed, what are the hamana he said, yo Allah have mercy on me and Mohammed nobody else.

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So he basically he was so excited How How easy was to deal with Rasulullah he said those people who was about to beat me up, they don't deserve mercy, just me and him sallallahu wasallam Of course Rasulullah in response to this other mistake that he has just done, Carla some halachot hijikata was on his mind sort of lost almost laughed at his statement, how funny that was caught off guard, I look at her job. And you're making a spacious thing. So constraint I mean, this is this is something great you cannot just limit the the mercy of Allah subhanho wa Taala. Again, even though the property was smiling with him, he was like joking with him. But he told him something that is true.

00:34:20 --> 00:34:43

He told him the truth, that you cannot just make the mercy limited to me and it's all to everybody. It's a mess of Allah subhanho wa Taala. So whenever you whenever you deal with people, take them by you know, by one step at a time and take them by that by the step of mercy. deal with them, and show them show them the mercy that Allah subhanho wa Taala has shown into his servant. Next.

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Whenever whenever I deal with with people's mistakes, even though you're required to deal with them in a nice way, gentle way. You don't rush and deal with them with both compassion and with mercy. Still, that does not mean you

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Try to water down the significance and the magnitude of that of that mistake. When you deal with people's mistake, you don't have to tell them it's okay. You don't you haven't done anything wrong. It's all right. But I just want you not to do that again a charlatan, know if you see someone drinking someone stealing someone watching something Haram, someone doing something that's really, really dangerous and wrong, even though you're approaching them with mercy, with kindness, with kind of, in a very gentle way, that does not mean that you water down the magnitude and the essence of this mistake. You just don't tell them you know what I know you didn't mean it. jacala. But please,

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perhaps don't do that again. Now you need to tell them this is very wrong. I want you to be careful. Yeah, this will I'm doing this for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala for you, but Allah azza wa jal can hold you accountable for this in this dunya and the agora. So we will have your action be aware of your actions. Be careful what you do. You tell them you warn them. But again, show them with compassion, with mercy with kindness. You don't have to yell at them. You don't have to scream, you don't have to return physical, but you just tell them that this is wrong. And they need to know that it's wrong again, when you go and you correct people with kindness and mercy. That does not mean you

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watered down the magnitude of that mistake. They have to realize how great that mistake was, and that they should not be doing it again. An example for this one the Prophet sallallahu wasallam when a sort of la sala de la he was allamani. He he heard them when I feel Finn, marking the Sahaba of the allotter unknown as they were traveling for during the in Medina. He heard them saying, you know we have never seen anyone who is more coward than this. These companions these men have around the Prophet sallallahu wasallam they're all about food. And when it comes to foreign, they're cowards. Of course that's not true, because we know the history of the Sahaba of the A lot of them, but these

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people they were making fun of them think it was funny to joke like this Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam was very upset with them was very upset.

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So when does that when the Quran was revealed? When the Quran was revealed in Surah Toba about this this marker they're making scented speaking about the Prophet sallallahu Sallam his companions. They immediately came to the sutra law his sallallahu Sallam karragarra surah Allah, Allah in America nana nana says you only just you know we all make it was just joking. Allah azza wa jal answer The answer them, and Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam even though he was very quiet, he was very kind and gentle the way he was approaching them, but he was very firm. He did not look at them. He didn't smile with them. He took it very seriously. And he was only repeating the statement of Allah in the

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Quran in regard to this issue. Carla will lie to you what do you got just making fun of Allah, His Messenger and the verses of Allah subhana wa tada you make in front of that, which means I cannot tolerate that.

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I'm not going to accept the excuse. That's what he said, Sir lasala.

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Again, he did not he did not do anything beyond that. He didn't punish them for anything. But I just want them to realize and know that their mistake was grave. And this is something you cannot tolerate. But again, you don't have to yell. You don't have to be angry when you deal with people. crecer Allah sallallahu wasallam

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he used to teach the people why these mistakes are considered mistakes. Basically, he wants to warn the people against the the consequence of these mistakes sometimes for things that are considered very insignificant to many of us. Let's say you want the people to line up and salon. You know, we have sometimes hard time convincing the people to come closer to one another to close the gaps. He told the people thought so subtle, so full staccato, lateral foragers. Come closer to one another. Don't leave any gaps to the shape one. See this statement? That's that's given people the reason why they should not leave any gaps between them and the lineup in Salah finibus sola, sola. He said

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don't leave any gaps for the shaitaan he tell him the people do not leave any gaps. The shaytani just given them the reason behind that even the Prophet sallallahu sallam. In other narration. He said what about the law of ceremonies, so on and so forth? So fufa come out like California La Habana Mojo. He says you better line up very well. You better fix your lines in Salah. Otherwise Allah subhanho wa Taala will cause fitna between you imagine just these lines these gaps can create fitna among the community. And are perhaps you've seen these some of these situations, you ask the person to come closer, they don't. So you just holding your heart against them. You feel so bad. It

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could be the opposite someone approaching you come in closer to your foot and your shoulder and you start trying to escape away from them. So something comes into your heart against this individual. And that's what the shaytaan is doing. It's very it's very clever. And the prophets Allah Sam says don't leave these gaps, because your time will run between them like alhadeff like the baby, the baby sheep, just go around.

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Between the circle create this with instigates hate among one another. So the point here is that a sort of law has a lot of subtle and He will teach the people, He will teach the people, what could what what the consequences could be because of such a mistake, it could be on an individual level. And it could also be on the community level. But the point here is that you need to teach the people why they need to be aware of these mistakes. Sometimes, sometimes, it's good, it's good that you teach the people what is correct, in order to let them know what was wrong. So if you see someone, if you see somebody make an order here in the masjid, and they're just running the water like crazy,

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they have no feeling that they're doing anything wrong. I mean, imagine you're turning the faucet on, and the water is gushing going down the drain, gallons per second. And the person is just barely fixing their hair. Or maybe just you know, making sure the water is their arm and the water is still running panela. And I've seen that in many, many occasions. And perhaps each and every one of us have seen people like that you'll be making although and it's an act of worship and Subhanallah will committing a sin and the process of making a batter such as Megan order. So sometimes the best way of helping them out is just with your own hand, with a big smile on your face. Exactly. You know, if

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you could please You know, make sure the water just don't Don't, don't let the water on like this. And you will somebody that would say they will just be surprised because they were not paying attention. And I remember actually many different occasions, I even teach the people how to make a do. So I would be making no do. And then I see somebody is running the water like just like basically, they don't really care about the this is sort of this extravagance and wasting the water. I said, You can't do that you cannot make a do like this, this water is going you know down the drain. He said, How do I how am I going to wash my hands on my arm. I said let me show you how. And

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so how I teach them that whenever the water just turn it on, and then and then turn it off. And just use as much as you need to wash your hands and to wash your face. But we kind of just build this habit, we keep the water running. And we will do as the water keeps gushing down. Even though as we know we're moving from one arm to the other. There's so much water going down there. And we're not using it. And we become responsible for before the last panel, what Allah so you teach them sometimes by practically helping them out fixing these mistakes, one of these occasions Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam he used to he used to line up the people for Salah, he would walk through the

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lines himself sallallahu wasallam, he physically would walk through the lines and making sure that the lines are all straight salotto sulamani. In another occasions, he would even let Billa do the job. He would ask below to look in the back in the back rows to make sure that the lining up and the lines are all fixed. And they're all correct. So yes, you need to do that. But remember what we talked about earlier, that you have the authority, you have the ability and you do it in the nice and the gentle way. inshallah Allah Katara, you always need to give the people you know the reason behind what what we're asking for given the evidence and the delayed. Another thing, sometimes

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people they don't, they don't know any better. They make these mistakes, because they do not know any better. It would be good. If you just can give the people some alternatives. Give the people some alternatives. Let's say some people, they just practice particular jobs. I'm going to tell them why are you doing this to zero? I don't know I just this is the only thing you can do. And you tell them I can help you out. And you provide them with a service and shallow data or maybe an alternative that is better for them in the dunya. And

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sometimes people they make Salah, because they don't know any better. Tell them you know what? limit limit take this from you. Let me show you how to make your Salah and you teach them you give them the alternative. Some people they hold the book in their hands, you know that there is something seriously wrong in this book. It doesn't you don't have to read this book says Well, what should I read them? You take them give them another book says this is the one that's better for you give people the alternative to shallow data. However, you don't have to have alternative for everything that you're asking them for. You don't have to have alternative. Sometimes there's no alternative.

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They're just telling them listen, it's wrong, because the last panel that I said so answer. And if you believe that our last panel data said that this is wrong, you should avoid it and you should stay away from it.

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So eventually, yes, we are we need to give the people the reason or the give the people the alternative, but there is no obligation upon you to give that alternative. So if you don't have an alternative, simply just tell them, let them know that listen. I honestly don't have an alternative for this. But all I know that this is wrong, and it should not be doing this. He told them this is wrong. And it should not be doing that. There's so many ways how the profits are what the lawyer said Amani, he corrected

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people's mistakes and people errors. There's so many ways the prophets are sending them. And this is just an example few examples from the life of Rasulullah, sallAllahu, alayhi wasallam on and the point I would like to make over here is that we live, we are social beings. And by nature, we have to have these interpersonal relationships on an individual level, family, or even community level. So the chance chances that you're gonna run into some situations with other people is great. The more you interact with people, the more likely you're going to have to deal with some people's mistakes. And if you don't want to make any mistakes, guess what, don't do anything. And that will

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be your first mistake.

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If you don't do anything, that by itself is a mistake. You can have to interact, you're gonna have to deal with the people. So the more you engage and involve in the community, the more likely you're going to have to deal with this situation. Some people they think they think that by volunteering and by coming you know, approaching and dealing with one another, that loss of handler we weren't good, we get the reward from Allah azza wa jal, and Allah subhanaw taala should make things easy for us. Well, part of this is learning these skills, how to, you know, sharpen your interpersonal skills and relations with people. And there is nothing better than the example of Rasulullah sallallahu

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alayhi wa sallam, from this city, we just wanted to learn some of the etiquettes of Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam and his techniques and how to correct other people mistakes again, there is so much more into the CD that we can learn from the son of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa Salaam, Allah, it is just a reminder for the amount of benefits the believer that whenever you get you have to deal with people's mistakes, there are specific procedure and their specific approach that we need to follow and there is nothing again, better than the example of Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam I hope with this inshallah, that in the future, if we ever get involved in any kind of situation

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that requires from us to advise and, and remind one another, that we know at least how to do that. We know that if I have the authority, then I can do it. If I don't have authority, I would ask somebody else. I know if I have the knowledge I will use my knowledge in sha Allah tala and most importantly, realizing that it's my individual individual duty as a Muslim, to enjoin good and forbid evil. Allah subhanho wa Taala. He favored this oma, former Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam kuntum hydrometer leanness, that more honorable Morrow buttonhole Nana Mancha, you are the best, the best ever produced to mankind. For what reason? The first quality mentioned about this oma subhana wa

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Tada. He says that more honorable maruf was in Hunan and Mancha, because you enjoin, good and forbidding evil, and then he said, we're miserable, and you believe in Allah. So he mentioned that first, as a reminder about that exclusive quality of the home of Mohammed salatu salam. So as a Muslim, you should assume this role in sha Allah, Allah in your personal life, your family life and the community as well will load and handle a lot of galantamine Solana Vina, Mohammed, early wasafi wasallam. Any questions? azima?

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Also, you can check that we have from online artists in Charlotte.

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00:48:20 --> 00:48:20

How to

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personal person to sell first? Okay, you're talking about if someone comes to advise you how basically Should I receive that?

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Okay, very good question. Now, our advice, our discussion was here on how you should approach people when you see mistakes from them. But you the recipient of that advice, how should you treat that advice, if it ever comes to you? Let's say you were doing something and you're completely oblivious, you're unaware of this being wrong, someone comes to you. Now they would come to you in one of two ways. Whether they come to you in a way that is very pleasing. And naturally we as human beings, we like that someone comes in a nice way says, you know, what? Do you know that what you're doing was wrong. And you would say really, I didn't know that outcome. So they advised us in a very gentle

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way. You like that handle a lot of blood. I mean, there is nothing wrong with that. But the problem is someone comes and they rub you the wrong way.

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They come and they rub you the wrong way. They think that they have authority over you. And they just kind of start you know, yelling and screaming and thinking that they can do that. Now that would it hurts. That we're really hurt. Because Who are you to talk to me like this? What I'm just doing you a favor. I'm just giving you advice. Well, thank you. But that's not the way you give that advice. How as a recipient, should I take that as a recipient? My recommendation for myself and for you is not to look at the person who's given that advice. And don't take that approach. Don't look at the approach. Look at the message.

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Because as Muslims always very difficult for people to focus on the message, when the instrument and the model of delivering the message was wrong, it's very hard because the actions usually will speak much louder than the message itself. Someone is telling the reality this is haram.

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And in the course of this whole scenario of anger and being going to sit, I'm not happy with that. You will tell them and does not have your business. ie becoming defensive right now. I'm telling you, this is haram. Allah said so and so. Again, this is not your business, I don't care. Now. Now we escalate and the situation becomes really getting bigger and bigger. So the best way as a recipient of that of that advice, if someone is rubbing you the wrong way, just take your region. Take it easy, you know what, think about it. Perhaps they were right. So look, usually try to be as objective as possible again, perhaps, perhaps, there right. An example for this when this man

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there were two incidents. One of them was a Bedouin. Another incident was a Jewish man who came to the Prophet sallallahu wasallam, demanding, demanding debt to be paid back the property wanted something from him, and he wants his money back because it's due right now. So he came to Rasulullah silvassa. When he pulled him from his garment, he put up his garment that the color of that garment was was rough, I think it was made of wool. It was very rough. So when he pulled the profit center, some government after

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he left scars and marks on his on his on his neck. Salatu was Salam. So it was now you could see that the person is trying to approach the Prophet Solomon he says, ya know Hashem in common mortal, all people of Hashem brainwashing the family of the prophets of Allah, you all like this, you will never pay on time. Now look, the man has demanded his help, which means the debt to be paid back and is approaching the profits or loss of the wrong way. First of all, he pulled him physically and he was physically with the professor lesson number two, he insulted the family of the profits or loss and I'm like accusing the entire family because of something like that. And and and on top of that,

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he's doing it in public. So it is like embarrassing the profits or loss in front of everybody else. Now that's a serious matter, right? People could kill kill each other for them. But then the Prophet sallallahu wasallam he was very common quieter than Ahmad ricotta was almost actually on top of this guy. But then the professor * leaving leaving leaving me Alma, she should have better asked me to pay on time, and asked him to pay to ask nicely.

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So even taught him a lesson you should have asked him to ask nicely, and asked me to pay on time, which means it's his hope that he receives his money back, but what he did was wrong, and it's okay. So you see the Prophet sallahu wa sallam, he looked at the message, he did not look at this person or what he did that for it is he looked at the message sola Solomon had benefited from that. And he taught the oma a great lesson, even if someone has given an advice in a very harsh manner, you know, for your benefit for your own sake, just look at the message and just avoid kind of their approach, avoid escalating the situation, but just look at the message for what they have said, voila. Now,

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any question? Yes.

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Your family and

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they will they won't they be cremated.

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To be cremated? How do you

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know this is wrong? Again, regardless of the mistake or the error you need, first of all to identify where is it coming from? Even if it was family members? The question is, what if something in the family? How do you deal with family members who believe things, they want to do things and you believe it's something wrong? You need first of all to understand why they think it's okay to do it. Perhaps they have a misconception? Perhaps they've been misguided. Perhaps they have an evidence for that. You never know. Maybe you're wrong about it. That's the point. Maybe you're wrong about it. And that's why I'm showing him a lot of data. One is the beautiful principles of approaching, you

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know, a debate or discussion. Remember Shaka Rahim Allah, He used to say, cloud is our demo Hopper, we'll call lucapa demo server. So when whenever we start we start a conversation whenever we start a debate or something, he says COVID is our my statement. My opinion is right to me, but it probably could be wrong. And yours is wrong to me, but probably could it could be right.

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If you approach if we approach anything in that manner, you always be objective and you always look for the truth. But most people what they do, they start in the matter and that lack of my opinion is right whether you like it or not.

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And we European is wrong regardless of what you say. Now if you get if you if you start a conversation with this attitude, you will never go anywhere. You will never go anywhere for that. So the best way the best manner is that you

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Approach the people and the proper way. Again, you keep a margin for discussion, you might be wrong. So approach them, ask them we're getting this from, maybe they have a point. So therefore, you help them out and shout louder to come to a common ground well on regardless whether their relative or non relatives, and if you couldn't deal with them at all, then in this case, you seek the advice of somebody else to help you out with this kind of question.

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Since there's no question, yes.

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He talks about in the messages in particular, yeah, situation, let's say in the masjid, for example, you have a class like this, or maybe it's time for Salah. So we don't want to start our salon, children will be all around the place who's responsible to make sure that their kids are making salad during solid time, specifically if they are at the age of making Salah, and who is responsible to make sure that the kids stay safe during our salata. But of course, the first person who's responsible for that is the parent himself or herself. Unfortunately, many people they come to the masjid. And they think that the method is responsible for their children. And the moment we come to

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the masjid at Hamdulillah, it's a safe place, we assume the measure to be a safe ground. So therefore let the kids do whatever they want to do. And just you just focus on what you came here for to attend the program. Turns out the taraweeh, wherever, who's responsible, it's you, as a parent, you are responsible before you begin your Salah, you need to know the whereabouts of your children specific they were young, you need to know the whereabouts of your kids before you start your Salah. That's your responsibility. Unless the method provides service. If the message is providing a service of let's say childcare during the event and the program, in this case, yeah,

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that's the that's the responsibility. But what if the measure is not providing and you see kids are misbehaving? Can I not being the parents of that child? Can I approach that kid and fix the situation and fix the problem? Well, it depends, I would say, first of all, we have to create this kind of system, that who's responsible, we have to have the authority in them as those who have authority, they're better dealing with the situation than those who do not have the authority, we need to know that. And the other thing, we as a community, we need to realize that these kids are all ours. Yes, you are the parent, but the same time, these are the Friends of my child. So whatever

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they do, might influence my child as well. So as a parent and responsible parent, I also want to be responsible for my for the Friends of my child, and therefore, we should accept somehow, when someone else come to take our child and speak with them in a nice, gentle kind way. We should really respect that. It's not like you know, what, how dare you talk to my kids who are you to talk to my kids, you bring them to me and so on? Fine if I couldn't find you, I'm still considered like a parent. But again, it's the way we approach them with make big difference the way we approach them. So we look at a situation of course, you know, case by case scenario, shallow Donna Walla,

00:58:09 --> 00:58:35

kind of shallow data next week when and now when we come back next week, we will have a special presentation, a special presentation on the day of arafa. A special again presentation on the day of arafah, both here and also schelotto. They're a bit nilla has sojourn between Europe and Asia, because the day after that will be the death of itself. So what is the virtue of art of what's the significance of arafa This will be a discussion shortly after next week's Chronicle long behind it. I shall enter Safaricom.

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