Getting Our Children ready for Marriage

Yahya Ibrahim


Channel: Yahya Ibrahim

File Size: 25.31MB

Share Page
AI generated text may display inaccurate or offensive information that doesn’t represent Muslim Central's views. Therefore, no part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever.

AI Generated Transcript ©

00:00:00--> 00:00:01

Hello, I'm gonna talk today but I say

00:00:05--> 00:00:08

that insha Allah who makes the short speech first

00:00:20--> 00:00:22

salamati Kumara Nakula who volcat

00:00:25--> 00:00:50

Alhamdulillah Hamza shaqiri in WA salatu salam ala CD mursaleen se et now whenever you know have you been a Mohammedan sallallahu alayhi wa early he was asked me What's a linter Sleeman? kathira Allah sallallahu wasallam was it well Derek is at now Habibi, now whenever you know Mohammed and Philip wilin also liver surgeon was a guava regardless he didn't want to be you know Mohammed in Philadelphia he was all he was selling music were barik ala Sayyidina Muhammad in film Allah Allah Allah I mean

00:00:52--> 00:01:22

always we begin with the praise of Allah we send our prayers a peace upon that whenever you Mohammed sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, we testify with firmness and conviction that none is worthy abortion but Allah, that I want to be a subtle Allahu alayhi wa sallam he says worshipping slave and final messenger. I always remind myself and you have tough Allah azza wa jal and I pray that Allah subhana wa tada makes the time that we spend together a time that is a testimony of our faith in him. Our belief in him seeking to increase our love

00:01:23--> 00:01:56

of him subhana wa to add up our conscious fearfulness of him and our hope in his mercy in the life to come. That Allah subhanho wa Taala increases us in that awareness and our families love them. I mean, at first it's a pleasure and hamdulillah to visit with my dear brothers and sisters here at the info center. May Allah subhanho wa Taala make it a place that is Ahmed that is always busy. I shall lie I saw the boys coming out with their Judo or Jiu Jitsu outfit. What is it jujitsu? We're taking notes, Taekwondo Mashallah.

00:01:57--> 00:02:01

So May Allah subhanho wa Taala make this place full of noise,

00:02:03--> 00:02:24

busy, loud, cheerful, lots of our youth and our young people benefiting from it. And may Allah Subhana Allah allow us the opportunity to hand it over to a future generation who will leave Islam and lead the Muslim community here in Perth to bigger and better and greater things alone. I mean,

00:02:25--> 00:02:30

I'm thankful to the brothers and sisters who've invited me they chose a very difficult topic

00:02:32--> 00:02:33

Yeah, me you know,

00:02:34--> 00:03:08

getting our children ready for Mary's very sensitive Mashallah. It's like it's not something that a lot of fathers and mothers want to think about at times. And it's something that they're only thinking about. So one of the problems of course, is it's something we fear but it's something we hope for something we fear, what's going to happen how's it going to happen? Who are they going to choose? Will I be involved Am I allowed to say yes or no? What if What if they get angry way and at the same time we're very hopeful I can't wait my show log grandchildren future

00:03:10--> 00:03:11

where do we go from here?

00:03:12--> 00:03:17

And then they said after such a difficult topic they said 15 minutes brother Mashallah

00:03:21--> 00:03:26

yeah now only 10 right after follow up nothing right? Allah haha

00:03:27--> 00:04:15

it's of course something it's important to I guess, establish also principles right. So when we look in the Quran we see that Allah has established certain principles. The first principle Allah says in general in the Quran, that he did not send any messenger Madhya Andaman was truly I never sent any messenger to humanity Illa Jana Allahu as well, I don't want to read except that I destined for them that they will have wives, spouses and children to come after them. And some will say oh, we heard brother prophet is Ali Salaam never got married, didn't have children. Yes, unless you read the Hadith of the prophets I tell them they're easily Salam shall return amongst their own Fiat. So what

00:04:15--> 00:04:33

do you mean? He will marry from our own man? You will have a wife from the sisters get excited Mashallah, that unmarried sisters there's so much Allah. Right? Yeah. Is that what you mean? He will marry from you have children from the mouth of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

00:04:34--> 00:05:00

And of course that makes sense. So any anyone who sits with themselves it makes sense that if Allah has sent a messenger and a prophet to be a reference point, somebody that people are going to model their behavior behind somebody that people are going to take an example in life. It cannot just be in one aspect of life and not others. So you see that the prophets of God, one of the creators,

00:05:00--> 00:05:52

systems that was given to the man who had the Rasool e m Shi yet put a time I am shipping as well. Look at this maybe Mohammed's I tell him what's wrong with him. He walks into markets he eats and drinks like us. He's a normal human being. And of course that is a criticism for those who do not understand the framework of revelation that Allah wants us to know that this is a Suna komiya. Allah created men and women so that they will come together to know one another, and to be with each other in a way that is pleasing to Allah and to be distinct from each other when it is displeasing to Allah subhanho wa Taala. One of the five macaws said the five aims high your aims of our Sharia is

00:05:52--> 00:06:24

Hilda nessa is that Allah protects our lineage. And therefore anything outside marriage, anything of the same sex, anything of these kind of things that are not a part of our processes as Muslims, as those who surrender their will to Allah is seen as sinful, is seen as something that is beyond what is acceptable within our faith within our tradition, within our culture within our faith practice. So the first us it's your responsibility

00:06:26--> 00:06:36

to be always seeking to have the fulfilment of a happy married life. Now notice the word I said, happily married life.

00:06:38--> 00:06:46

It is not enough to be just married. And so paralyzed. Yeah, I know you're gonna say shift, you're talking to those of us who are married or the ones who are getting married.

00:06:48--> 00:07:07

Right? But see, one can't be without the other. Because the second principle is that a law set for us these prophets and messengers as examples, so that you and I will follow their example so that our children will follow whose example

00:07:08--> 00:07:18

our example. So Allah begins by saying, Look at Mohammed Salah, I sell them look at him and Khadija, Yanni the Prophet I sell him would say amazing things about this way.

00:07:20--> 00:07:25

The prophets I seldom said to the Sahaba like he's just talking with his friend, he said Mali to be hooked.

00:07:26--> 00:07:33

I overflow with love for her lava. Now you as a brother, you're like, I can't see that through my

00:07:36--> 00:07:36


00:07:37--> 00:07:42

With the brothers think about kids. And my wife, she'll take advantage.

00:07:45--> 00:07:58

We live in a different time. Right? The province I can imagine Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam when he's talking with Mali to be not just full I overflow with love for heavy on the Allah.

00:07:59--> 00:08:25

I shadow Allah I'm used to give her nickname, right? Oh, my euro, the rosy cheek one. He would call her Yeah, if her nickname is Irish, because the word I should means man comes from mash right from life. Manisha is your life my Asia how you live. So I Isha means the best light. So he would say I ish my best life. Allahu Akbar.

00:08:27--> 00:08:27


00:08:28--> 00:08:47

I wish he would ask him tomorrow Really? My mother would she says you're sort of locked. swith her back even describe your love for not Do you love me? sisters today? They just want to know do you? She's nice. I know you love me. But describe it. So the prophets I seldom said can

00:08:49--> 00:08:50

I lead the Ruby

00:08:51--> 00:09:02

it's like the not that you tie it tight inseparable meaning that when you pull on one side and the other side if you're trying to pull apart it only gets tighter in the middle of love.

00:09:04--> 00:09:29

ashes like oh shala so they used to sit like we're sitting now in the masjid right the sisters Mashallah they're behind our screen here their city, they can hear us so I sure would be sitting there the profits are you selling is in the masjid here. And g todo la la. She would like make a noise so he knows that she's there. And she said your rasulillah so I sell them loud for the people here. Pay for the real. How's the not?

00:09:31--> 00:09:32

People like what

00:09:34--> 00:09:42

he says can William in a little bit. It's as tight as the first day we met. We married some Lola Holly. I

00:09:45--> 00:09:53

don't think this is just rasulillah sigh second, right? Because you can sell on my show. This is your chef. He married I Isha.

00:09:54--> 00:09:55

I don't have

00:09:56--> 00:09:59

your wife here you guys. It is good.

00:10:00--> 00:10:02

He married she married Mohamed Salah lice and

00:10:03--> 00:10:05

you're gonna talk about HIV.

00:10:06--> 00:10:09

Who are you? So somewhere quiet.

00:10:12--> 00:10:18

But then look at the Sahaba. Like, look at this. So earlier on the Allahu anhu because now we're talking about the children.

00:10:20--> 00:10:21

Do I have 15 minutes or is it?

00:10:23--> 00:10:26

I don't know. I didn't look

00:10:27--> 00:10:27


00:10:29--> 00:10:30

All right.

00:10:33--> 00:11:20

So Ali roti Allahu anhu. Now Ali is the cousin, young man grew up in the house of the province I sell them watching him with Khadija Allah Fatima, the daughter of Khadija Daniela and watching hundreds Isola Mother Father, watching Rasulullah with his other wives. They're learning from the best example and put sweat will Hasina allswell Hassan laqad Candela confy rasulillah he owes sweatin Hanson is the best example. Women can do Juliet for those who fear Allah and are thinking about the return to everything in life. So there is a prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he's living his life in the way that we're describing. So there is 14 out of the above on an hourly 40

00:11:20--> 00:11:38

mile one day she's at home. Ali comes late. He is not she's not aware he's coming to the house. He's at home. She's at home with a step. She was in the morning ritual. She's brushing her teeth using her suit. She doesn't see behind her either. You came in with your loved one woman.

00:11:39--> 00:12:05

And as she's Mashallah brushing her teeth, IV or the Allahu anhu comes up behind her and begins to describe her this moment in poetry. poetry. Yeah, and if I come home early, my wife's in the bathroom. I'm not moved to Shakespeare Mashallah, it's not the only the most Oh my god. Look at her brushing her teeth. Right.

00:12:07--> 00:12:10

So earlier on the Allahu anhu said yeah, with the Arakaki.

00:12:11--> 00:12:22

Oh twink of the hour Katrine that Eric tree. How can How dare I? How dare you be this close to my wife?

00:12:23--> 00:12:42

Yeah. All right. Okay for math affairs admin hat. meetly. Right. Lucchesi? Nobody ever touched my wife's lips, except you and me is talking to her branch. La Quinta, Roger, and Locatelli. Tucker. If you were a man, I would kill you right now.

00:12:45--> 00:12:54

Imagine for tomorrow the Allaha. Like, look at us, we were like Allahu Akbar. Look at the love that comes from a moment his wife is brushing teeth.

00:12:55--> 00:13:05

It moved him to express himself that 1400 years later, his poetry still memorize, still known.

00:13:06--> 00:13:29

So that's the lesson to that because Allah send the messengers are at one Allah is Allah to Allah, Allah him to be examples for us. He wants that to then translate into their Sahaba and to the tabular aim, and into the tabular, tabular in I mean, to each and every home, to follow the example in the sooner that is set by them.

00:13:31--> 00:13:41

The third principle, just because of time in law, is the principle of the Prophet sallallahu. It was sending them encouraging

00:13:42--> 00:13:54

fathers and mothers to be a part of the process of their sons and daughters finding those who are rapid.

00:13:56--> 00:14:32

Even the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam himself, searching for the right partners for people. And I want you to kind of think of some of the most tense moments in the seal of the prophets, I sell them. These are actually the most some of the most valuable moments that we ignore to study. I'm going to tell you a hadith now, maybe you don't know it's insatiable hunger. It's a hadith. So here, but it's not one we hear as often as we should, but gives us an understanding of our Deen in a way that sometimes we don't pay attention to

00:14:33--> 00:14:59

at the time of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam we know that slavery, may Allah protect us and our families, slavery was legal was permitted. That was the culture of humanity at the time. There was always seen as something that Islam is intent on eradicating. So one of the ways that the prophets I send them would eradicate this vile disgusting practice was that he gave permission

00:15:00--> 00:15:11

For anyone who was in bondage to try to purchase their freedom from their master and would assist them doing it so manual Pharisees a very famous example.

00:15:12--> 00:15:39

His master said you have to give me this much gold plan 300 date palms, make sure all of them have brewed, how is a poor person going to get 300 day pumps the profit donates. They also have a donate they Freedom, freedom, freedom. So one person who was a slave was a friend to each of your loved one her Her name was Barry era, or the Allahu variera era was a slave.

00:15:40--> 00:15:58

And she was the friend of the wife of the prophet Isaiah. And the wife of the Prophet said Yasuda last rites and a very what's your freedom? Can we help? The Prophet said yes, I will ask for her more can we make a contract to pay off her debt. And so Pamela, she paid her freedom. She's free.

00:15:59--> 00:16:22

In that time, if you were a slave, your owner forced you to marry who he wanted you to marry. But the moment you were free, the prophets I sell them said those marriages that were forced, you could annoy them or keep them if you love them. You can say if you don't, you can say I'm no longer your wife.

00:16:23--> 00:16:29

Maria, she was forced in that life to be married to a man named movies.

00:16:30--> 00:16:34

Movies with a righteous Sahabi of the Prophet is a good man.

00:16:35--> 00:16:40

And the moment Maria became free, she turned to Maria and said

00:16:43--> 00:16:44

I devotion

00:16:45--> 00:16:51

palace. Movie, love the barrier more than life itself.

00:16:53--> 00:16:56

So movies would walk behind the barrier.

00:16:57--> 00:17:17

And he would say yeah, very Take me back. I know I'm not free. Even if I was free. Would you take I will do any. She said let me redo my cache. I want nothing has finished. You remind me of the past. You remind me of being forced to be married to somebody I don't want.

00:17:19--> 00:17:28

So movies comes to remote. And he says you talk to her. You are a good match. Omar goes and she says let me read to me.

00:17:29--> 00:17:33

He goes to Apple back, Apple back goes.

00:17:34--> 00:17:38

Movies comes to Mohammed Salama hives,

00:17:41--> 00:17:54

and says can you please speak to Barry. Now I want you to kind of think Yanni Mohammed Rasulullah sallallahu he wasn't a slave is asking him to solve his love life.

00:17:56--> 00:18:03

Like in our time today, you can come to imants events whose job is to help

00:18:04--> 00:18:08

and Miss call after Miss message after

00:18:10--> 00:18:12

Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

00:18:13--> 00:18:14

He says okay.

00:18:15--> 00:18:28

further elaborate. The Prophet goes to burry he doesn't ask her to come so that she doesn't feel pressure. So he goes to bed. And he said, Could Hakka you know, Maurice told me about his love for you and enter?

00:18:30--> 00:18:41

What do you think? quality? Also the loss is to me, Ron and NASA. How did you come to tell me I must? Or did you come to ask me what I think?

00:18:42--> 00:19:18

And the prophets I send them so it's a very powerful example in this mode. This is the point that I want you to pay attention to. He said gee to now say I just came to ask What do you think? The prophets I send them never ordered anybody except by the order of Allah from above the Seven Habits ever. In the matters of love, never said do it. Except if Allah order she said your rasulillah inlanta Khun Amira fella woody Domingo Shea Since you didn't come to order me by the order of Allah I don't want to

00:19:19--> 00:19:22

so the prophets I sell them said to movies

00:19:23--> 00:19:28

let her into min cache she doesn't want as the Prophet is sitting one day

00:19:29--> 00:19:31

with his uncle, aloha bass

00:19:33--> 00:19:37

berry era walks by and then Mohit is walking behind.

00:19:38--> 00:19:59

Yeah very rainy white whoopee barrier I love you. Yeah very rainy why Boogie era I love Yeah, very rainy. Oh hey, Boogie. Factiva seminaries. Hi Sam. So the prophets mine and turn to Al Abbas. And he said, I give to can lead can lead who I mean more Hayward can lead hoo hoo.

00:20:00--> 00:20:08

caveat, I am astonished at how much he loves her, and how much she hates it from the law.

00:20:09--> 00:20:11

This is where the Hadith and

00:20:12--> 00:20:27

an Imam even in his explanation of the Hadith, Messiah Buhari, he raises dozens of things to learn from subhanak love so many lessons from these words of the process. First,

00:20:28--> 00:20:34

that there was no Iqra. You can say to your son to your daughter, this is the one for you.

00:20:36--> 00:20:42

You can also not say to somebody who does not like Why don't you like them?

00:20:43--> 00:20:52

Don't try to shame them. Give me a better explanation. What do you mean? You said I don't want What do you mean? You have to tell me right now?

00:20:54--> 00:20:55

There is no israa

00:20:56--> 00:21:08

the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would travel in what many of us would think lowly, something humiliating? How can I go speak to somebody about her love life? Yeah.

00:21:09--> 00:21:23

It's not becoming no she should come if they want they come, they should come. The Prophet would walk to solve problems. So Allah what he was saying. He was not a fence sitter watching eating popcorn looking at the drama of other people.

00:21:26--> 00:21:32

Right the results of Allah How do you assemble them was one also who used hc math.

00:21:33--> 00:21:48

That even though the profits I sell them knows better he was going to say no Salalah heart he said he knows he doesn't say to Mali. Listen men, Abu Bakr when Roman went off man when the whole Medina went to

00:21:49--> 00:21:55

her last Forget about it. He doesn't say to someone whose heart is broken, get over it.

00:21:56--> 00:21:59

See some of us our children, they fall in that

00:22:00--> 00:22:01

puppy love

00:22:02--> 00:22:09

you know, and we What's wrong with you? Hello. Get over many fish in the sea.

00:22:12--> 00:22:14

There's also many sharks in the ocean.

00:22:19--> 00:22:20

Many sharks,

00:22:21--> 00:22:23

right Subhan Allah

00:22:24--> 00:23:00

what we learn from this, see those heavy about difficulty you there are so many lessons we take for. The final thing that I say with regards to this heavy is that the mammoth chef and he has a poem in his Diwan machete has a very beautiful poetry, the one over the manager. In it he says that there is no pain greater in the world that is felt no lm no pain that is felt in the world in our human life, than the pain of loving and not being loved.

00:23:03--> 00:23:22

that a person loves and that love is not reciprocated. And therefore the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said lead to Pharaoh, obey them when they're happy. Don't separate between two people who have a love for each other. I end with this Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that ties up the feet.

00:23:23--> 00:23:27

A young lady came to Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam he said yeah also la

00:23:28--> 00:23:30

sala La Jolla Salaam,

00:23:31--> 00:23:34

Mr. Ronnie Abbey

00:23:35--> 00:23:47

and and Kiha ignor Ignagni, an advisor which my father came and ordered me that I must marry my cousin, his brother's son.

00:23:50--> 00:23:54

What an eBay Well, I can also I said no, but he said you have to.

00:23:57--> 00:24:11

So the prophets I said Lim Rafa who he said, Bring your father to me. And he said, Bella, honey, your daughter just said to me, that she said to you know, about this one? And you said yes, she has to

00:24:12--> 00:24:17

our our that when? He said yes, also the laferla our fee? I

00:24:18--> 00:24:30

don't understand why she would say no, I see no defectively there's nothing wrong with it. She's never shown that she would say no to him, except in this moment. It's made me crazy.

00:24:32--> 00:24:41

In Karla, the prophets I seldom said in EBIT fennica who have bought if she said no, the nigga is false. Cannot be happy. cannot have

00:24:44--> 00:24:56

the young lady. She's my shot light now. She said other chaos hula. Is it true? If I say no? If no. Other Yes. She said you have also Lola

00:24:57--> 00:24:59

in your Lambo. I actually love him.

00:25:00--> 00:25:01

I want to marry him.

00:25:02--> 00:25:16

Well I can our to Allah tokara mo Athena Allah Nika Hello Julie lamb duster or a messenger of Allah I only did this so that no woman in our own man would ever be forced to marry a man she said no to.

00:25:17--> 00:25:24

Mashallah, way back in the day there, our young Muslim Sahaba Yeah, they had the back of our Muslim women today.

00:25:25--> 00:25:46

Way back then she wants to marry him. She has no problem. But when she said her about you have to well lie, I will take you to Rasulullah saw a lot. No. This is not the way of the lawsuits on robots. When Jesus No, no, no, no, I actually loved want to marry him, but so that nobody will have this problem occur again.

00:25:48--> 00:26:33

These are foundational principles foundational Hadith. My suggestion in sha Allah is that you give one of our brothers or one of our sisters, who has a little bit of the the ability to teach the fifth of nicaea the jurisprudence of an encounter as a formal subject for you, in sha Allah, to make it something that's over maybe two or three sessions, where you study the process of nica, how to make the hotbar what are the things to look for? What are the things not to look for? What are the processes for it? What are the ways we can support our children further and to bring together the broad examples to a contemporary way for us in chat bots? But I think with some of the questions

00:26:33--> 00:26:42

that we may come, we may clarify some of the issues that are outstanding to Hannah falafel mubychem the eye shadow Isla hadeland stuff to look at what to

00:26:44--> 00:26:54

and shall not be we will start discussion but before we start a lot we will hear a story about one of our brother standing

00:26:56--> 00:27:01

still young eight but it just wanted to ask him to hear

00:27:02--> 00:27:03

about the story.

00:27:04--> 00:27:05

They're both here Mashallah.

00:27:07--> 00:27:08

Yes, yes.

00:27:13--> 00:27:15

So, while it was said

00:27:19--> 00:27:21

this but on the other