Bulugh Al Maram – Ties of Kinship #2

Waleed Basyouni

Channel: Waleed Basyouni

Series:

Topics: Hadith

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Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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smilla hamdulillah salat wa salam ala rasulillah ferrario Sati woman whatever you want

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to call

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any Catholic

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with DEF CON LA Jubail.

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underrated that the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, the one who

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cut, the ties of kinship will not enter Paradise.

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The Hadith originally goes like this, the one who cut the ties will not enter Paradise. Then it says to cut ties means cutting the ties of kinship in the dipole agenda to carpet

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agenda Janata Party. Oh, yeah. Then it was explained by the narrator, which is soufiane. He explained that so if you had an verina or himolla, who, one of the narrator of the Hadith he said, copper cutting ties what that means the ties of kinship,

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debate more time to bear in ID the no fan, no abdomen outfit when you say. So he goes to the same lineage of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam Abu Muhammad

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and also been said abou ID and Porsche. He's one of the cousins of the profits on the lavalley rally or send them

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he came to Medina

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to talk to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam about the prisoner of war after the Battle of better

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he said, I arrived to Medina, you know the problem cousin, deer for the prophets of Allah Azza wa sallam. He said, for up to nebia salam salam wa

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Salatu Maverick. I came up with a prayer and in who Salaam was reading sort of a poll, he said and while the process of say what to wakita Moscow fear of

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cicada can be

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my heart almost got out of my chest

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part of our learning curve and

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I was so moved by these verses. And by the way, the process of them recited sort of bought and sold them out. And you can see here and maybe some prayer, the whole soul and so on.

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And he was so moved by it. He said I was freezing at my place just listening to what the presiding

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the say. debate was exactly like his cousin Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam when it comes to certain qualities. He was known to be a very wise person. He inherited this from his father who used to be the head of orange. Okay.

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And also known for for bearing, can you still believe him? Nothing can get him nobody can get him angry quickly. You can irritate him and he lose control. He's so in control of him. So are him on lockdown.

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And you all remember, individual Southern was put in shared venue Amritsar Valley in Ibiza Salim was force him and every believer to stay in this valley surrounded by a by the mountains. And guess what? They're not allowed for anyone to bring them water, to bring food to sell to them anything for them to purchase anything sanction.

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Complete like sanction.

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To the extent of these days, these days, the Sahaba Allah I know they used to have the one date, they will be several people suck the same date. They suck, don't eat it, so it will last for a couple of days.

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And one of the Sahaba of the alignment said I will never forget.

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And that's the most beloved one to Omar.

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That's also a boss

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and his companions. They looked like that.

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He said one day I was looking for anything to eat.

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He said I was sick and tired from eating the Leafs. Just the leaf of trees and the green. trunks suck the water out and

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he said one day I was walking in the night and it was dark New Moon and I stepped on something solid

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I picked up an ad until today, I don't know what is it? And I don't want to know what it is what it was?

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Or was it just because I'm so hungry.

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So when things reach that level

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his father couldn't take it anymore. And he's one of the leaders of college. And he came to visit that said, we're not going to allow this for my cousin's for my family, for our family, for our neighbors, we're not gonna allow that. And he's the one who led price to tear that basically.

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treaty or that

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basically the resolution that they wrote, and the hang the inside of Canada

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can as his father used to come in the night nobody's seen him in the dark darks of the night, bringing food water to the processor and his family.

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Men woman children, you can imagine that that's why maybe saddam never forgot that for him.

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And when he looked at the people of whether the prisoners from Makkah, he said local lemony v him if the Muslim father came and talked to me about them, he said without anything, I will give it to them for free. I don't mean any ransom

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just because he was a very noble person.

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Not only in that time also in the visa salon was stopped from entering Mecca when he was coming back from were a part of the people of Mecca Cydia, Mohammed you're not allowed to enter Mecca.

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So he entered Mecca in what in the protection under the protection of modern

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divinity. Jamia salatu salam until on the basis of unfinished his ombre he will walk with Him makeup antonyms and finishes off

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without anybody harming himself.

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Yep, and you better

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come to Accra matassa Mohammed Salah masala I used to hate how my parish used to treat the prophets on Sunday.

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And I was so worried that they will kill him and I don't want him to be killed. He loved the profits of Southern California happy to be dealing minute de la. I went to a church.

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I went to it to a church or a place of worship, belong to the people of the book. It could be Jews could be Christian

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Khan. And I asked for the head of that church.

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And I told them about my worries about Mohammed salatu salam.

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And I said a half a year, halfway through I was worried that they will kill the messenger from Allah.

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Then they said to him,

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this is what your concern is. He said, Yes. He said, Did you see Mohammed? Obviously I know Mohamed Salah. He said if you see his picture, would you recognize him?

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I said absolutely is my cousin.

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He said

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then they brought for him a paint.

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They brought for him What? A paint and an image of a man and it was covered. Kind of atony be muscle water moussaka.

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And when they move the cover to Heather,

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Mohammed

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when he sold the paint, I said that's Mohammed. And that paint does that.

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Then they told me one law here they have to do

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Don't worry, they will never kill him.

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They will never kill him.

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Those who wants to kill him will be killed.

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So that's where this is early days America.

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He said I stayed there with them. Then I came back to America. When he came back to America, I want to tell Bahamas on that. But I found that Russell was a southern left to where to Medina, he migrated to Medina. Then

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at that moment, the people of Mecca were very bad to

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me.

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Anyway, then they told him the people of Mecca.

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You need to bring all the money that we you have because to be a multimillionaire, they used to have the money of the orphans. He will take care of the orphans and he will take that money

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Money protected until the grovel this give us all the money that you have for all our friends. He said what law he had that

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you would never get that money until you separate my head from my body, the orphans money I will protect it. So how noble he is.

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And when he

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said when he said

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finally they let him go

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and they told him

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if you go there you don't eat from his food from Mohammed's or someone's food. I entered to the profits on the bodies of them. And in the midst of a lot of audio suddenly said you look hungry.

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Let me bring you some food. So he brought him food pyla could have Zika

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he said, I can't eat your bread because I promised the people of Macau will not eat from your food. Then in the midst of Saddam said,

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keep your promise and you don't need to be then he talked to him about the

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the prisoners. And he said you can

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any he talked to the prophets of Allah

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who are kind of in a polka led national Islamic development. He did not convert to Islam karma until the Sultan conquered Mecca to put over stability and good character blah blah blah. He did not accept Islam until

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and then number seven gather that people have met me said what do you think I will do to you? He said you're our brother when he said you're free to go is one of those people

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from porta potti Mecca.

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And in the be Salalah is a lamp he used to he and her name after Hernandez pifan II know the story he gives so many gifts to the new Muslims of America. He gives you better.

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Okay, 100 camels

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100 camels like in modern days, and he talks about a million dollar.

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He give him as a gift.

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Because he's honorable person very well known, very well respected. And by the way,

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yeah. And he he had two sons, who were great scholars in Hamad and nafion.

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But what kind of any well known scholars in lineage or human knowledge. Anyway, drobeta bimota him he was married to a woman

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to go to the Joe's life, he died

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9590 5959

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but let's go back to the

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whole agenda. This cut ties with relatives and kinship will not intergender

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individual Southern sent toddler

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one who cut

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drawn

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socata is current is the opposite of connecting. So the person who cut ties was not connected to his relatives not connected with his kinship. Okay.

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Anyone cut ties with friends no with kinship. So you cannot make a general specifically for the kinship specifically for your relatives in Ibiza, Salim said will not intergender what that means will not entertain them any will not entertain the right away, will not entertain them among the early people will not entertain them until this person will be asked about this will not entertain until the person is punished for this.

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That what will not entertain the means. Anytime you say never rely upon return the rightful agenda will not understand it doesn't mean that this person will never entertain any caffeine. No, it because this is sin. It means or it is not even it could be something that highly dislike

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but it will delay entering his genuine hem intergender might delay the person from entered into it's like individual upset about the person who comes late to select purposely

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insulting tomorrow's special padmasana

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and Juma Hector yo yo mama the purposely come late to Joomla until Allah delay them what that means delay their interns have done so they will not they will not intergender right away Allah will delay them as a punishment for them. Delaying coming to them must even come early to the muscle for drama is bad watch. It just recommended.

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Anyway, what we learn from this Hadeeth number one

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This Hadith is very clear on the severity of cutting ties with your relatives.

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That's a very severe sin. It's actually a major sin in Islam

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is to cut ties with your relatives, you disconnect yourself from them completely.

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And Allah Subhana Allah told us that this is the quality of the disbeliever the quality of the believer that they always care to be connected to keep that, you know, times and to keep that relationship with that family. The disbelievers are the ones who don't care about it. Almost

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200 verse 22, for hell as a tune in to our Layton to see to fill up what to do.

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He can lead in Allah, ma hufa awesome.

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Allah

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took him to the kuffaar you think that you turn away and spread corruption and earth and cut ties with relatives, those people who do such things, the one that a lot occurs and a lot will make them deaf and blind. They will never see the signs.

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They will never see the reminders. They will never hear the reminders. They listen to that it's like noise for them they don't understand because their hearts not there. That's the result of what the result of two things spreading corruption and cutting ties and some

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actually cutting ties that would lead to spreading the corruption

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has not two things it's just one thing which is cutting ties with relatives and friends and family members. Karla Lucia St. Lucia de

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la presents it to his son My son don't ever be a friend love to saw him evident partly our him Don't be ever a friend with someone who basically cut ties with his relatives

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why collar in Egypt to human ruin and Phil parameterize the model I found that a lot curse such person three times in the Koran

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three times in that or I

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so

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also those who cut ties with relatives and family members a lot described them as what losers

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facets because it's a major sin. One women will be

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simply only misguided Faster. Faster is the one who make who commit major sins. What are what why they are like that, why they're faster. why they're giving that title which is a very bad title

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alladhina una de la,

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Demeter b, y apart who

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will be

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what you've seen.

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The one who cut who basically will undo the promises

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or break the promises that they made to Allah.

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And they will cut ties.

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The ties which a lot older us to maintain, which is the relatives and friends, relatives and family members and the spread corruption and earth

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and abuse of a lot is element this has been inserted and widowed and it's authentic it

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can amendment them. There is no sin, deserve a hastin punishment and immediate punishment

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a person can do there's no sin you can commit that more deserving for an immediate punishment, your ideal alongside him with dunia in this life, Mom and Dad. Plus the Hereafter is punishment.

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Meaning

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the two sins that deserved that the most transgression against others

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and cutting ties with relatives.

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Nabi sallallahu Sallam number four. So you kind of wake up a little bit in the basis of themselves behind you the bearer of the alarm. And this is the environment and it's also authentic karma in the amount of any Adam Toronto Allah Kula homies in Layton Juma Allah, all the mankind's deeds, good deeds will be presented before Allah every third

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date

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which is the night before Friday. Let's say if today Thursday, and the night will be presented before a lot, the angels of your law this Your servant did all these great deeds.

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So either our last one done until the end of confirm it and keep it in the record. So I accepted and keep it in the record until the day of judgment

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or alarm is rejected.

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Then interviews of Samantha Farah Yakubu America Rahim

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Allah will not look at the deeds of someone who cutting ties with relatives.

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Let's carry

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on as you said, individuals of themselves

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are Rahim Allah to

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the old man was on and he was Allahu LA. Woman papa, papa. Hola.

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Vanessa, I want to say hey, have a say Hey everyone, let me start para la fakie an awesome and wa salatu wa kahraman Tata key. In the Hadith in Bukhari Muslim, Allah said, I will be connected, Allahu Akbar himself, the Almighty Allah, He will be connected with the time towards those or with those who are connected, or those who maintain ties with their kinship.

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So I must have to add a woman Tina time

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with those who maintained ties with the relatives,

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and family members,

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and I will cut them off those Who cut off their ties with their relatives.

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In the BSL allow

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311 av over

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the head is important.

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But it's authentic. In naramata 10 00 Pm copyright,

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Allah's mercy,

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infinite mercy,

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that forgive all sins will not be given to a group of people, among them pocket of Russian, a person who cut ties with relatives

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that you might say, why the people will be affected by this person.

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Why people will love to receive the mercy of Allah just because one of them he cutting ties.

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A little mama Hey, Mama said

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the mercy here. The mercy

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could be the rain.

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Any the rain will not be giving to people who cut ties with rose.

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That's one interpretation. Better than that.

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That and they basically, they have evidence to say that they said in episode allow it while you're selling them.

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Yeah, and he was very moved by that drought that affected maca. And

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they were not finding any rain. And they were in very bad shape, because of the lack of rain. Because the cut ties with Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam and their family and put them in drought. And almost Montana minister fought for them.

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And he allowed

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Roma and asthma to be connected with their families.

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And some elements and that was the reason for that drug to go away actually, irregardless of certain other interpretations interesting. He said, allow will not give His mercy to such group because the group helping that person to cut time with his family, or they are silent.

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They didn't speak up. They never told the person Hey, you have to reach out to his friend and and they never talked we never advise.

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And I can tell you this, this can happen where inside the house

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of brothers, family members, and inside your house, your wife, for example, cut ties with her mother.

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I don't want to talk to my mother. I don't want to talk to my sister. I don't want my brother and you as a husband or vice versa. approve that and don't ever talk about and encourage her to do that. That's wrong.

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All of them are a partner in this. You have to speak at least to speak up and to give the advice.

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So

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to cap to basically just go over it one more time. A loss mercy will not be given to a group among them. A person who cut ties with or will not intergender someone who cut ties with relatives.

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Last month, I will be connected to those who are connected to the relatives and I will cut off those Who cut off their relatives every Thursday night, Allah subhana wa tada when he's received the deeds of the people who will not look at the deeds of the person who cut ties with relatives.

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in Ibiza, someone said there is nothing deserve a hasty and immediate punishment in this dunya plus the punishment in the afternoon, like cutting ties with relatives,

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almost without a curse, the person who cut ties with his relatives,

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it is the one who kept as was described as has your own fastball report on

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a serious accident

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due to serious issue, and sometimes we take it so lightly.

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Nana had a minor from an alien doctor. Sometimes we did not realize what is the hole in our life.

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Sometimes you have a big problem in your life, and you don't even know about it.

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It's like,

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you know, you are building cholesterol in your blood stream. And it's keep blocking your bloodstream, or you have a tumor that is growing. And you see yourself I'm fine. I kept running and nothing wrong with me. You didn't know where you are being attacked from.

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If all this happened to the person who cut ties with relatives, what do you expect?

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So when the person look at his life, so what's going on nothing wrong? I'm perfect. Because you're not paying attention to these things.

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What is a Russian that this ad is referring to what's kinship? What I mean by relatives.

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What this is referring to

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it's all your relatives from your mother signs and your father signs going up, down or the sides.

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What that means father

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going up,

00:27:16--> 00:27:21

grandfather, great grandfather, and going up going down.

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your children, your grandchildren, great grandchildren.

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Okay. Go into the sides.

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Uncles, aunts, maternal or paternal? Okay.

00:27:40--> 00:27:49

sisters, brothers, then their fathers the up and down their children, your cousin and all this that's all your relatives.

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As long as you know them.

00:27:58--> 00:28:10

Fine, because somebody that they come and think Kenny, he's a chef, ya know, if I calculated all my, like, the very very far cousins, I might end up cousins with any with the chain.

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Okay, or cousin or the CTO cousin with? Yeah, no.

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We're not talking about people like you don't know. You can identify

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as my cousins, this my aunts This is my aunt, my uncle's, my maternal uncles sons and so forth.

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It doesn't matter if they are Muharram or not.

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Okay.

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And that's an opinion for the Hanafi the famous will be among the Maliki and he said that and that was understood from the Shafi era when they said you know any relatives regardless of the person

00:28:58--> 00:29:11

the inherit you or they don't inherit you it doesn't matter as I've been hedging on him a lot said and that's the choice of Chevron Chevron basil chemo law Tada. He said that any relative from your father son or mother sides the elbow wonder

00:29:13--> 00:29:21

what would have happened having OLAP developing Viki tabula that the relatives or have more rights over you than anyone else

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okay.

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indivisible I send them set to a man when he asked me which one among my relatives deserve

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to care for the most common olan ness

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bill who's the one that I should care for the most what the problem said.

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Anyway remember

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then who hardly from moment

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to

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moment Kira

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third time tada moment then who he said

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Your father,

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your father, then what he said after that, that's my point. Anybody knows

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kind of accurate.

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He said, then the closest one to you.

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So your grandfather closer to you than your uncle,

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your uncle closer to you than your cousin, your first cousin closer to you than your second cousin, your children closer to you than your What?

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That your cousins or uncle's and so forth.

00:30:38--> 00:30:42

The closer the closest to you are the one who deserve your

00:30:43--> 00:30:54

to give him the attention and to be connected to them more than any others. Some remember a human law, and that's some of the Hanafi said that and some molokhia and one of the cops said that

00:30:55--> 00:31:03

he said, the only one that you should maintain relationship with are the one who considered Muharram

00:31:04--> 00:31:08

you are Muhammad's Mahara means you're not allowed to marry forever.

00:31:09--> 00:31:13

Like what your sisters, your Uncle,

00:31:14--> 00:31:16

uncle, your aunt, okay?

00:31:17--> 00:31:24

From maternal or paternal side, your daughter, granddaughter, and so forth.

00:31:26--> 00:31:40

This is because if you open the door, that means you have to keep connection with all human beings, because all humans are connected. But that's not true. Nobody said that. We talked about people that you can identify as cousins and by the lineage.

00:32:02--> 00:32:07

Some gentleman said no. And that's the position of a very, very common law. And one relation

00:32:08--> 00:32:09

among

00:32:10--> 00:32:15

the relatives that you must keep relationship with are the one who inherited

00:32:17--> 00:32:30

anyone that was capable of inheritance from you. It means that that's someone that you have, you can bet basically, you have to keep relationship with the inheritors.

00:32:32--> 00:32:36

Or possibly, possibly, or she possibly can emerge from you.

00:32:38--> 00:32:45

So that means sisters, brothers, children, parents, grandparents, grandchildren, why. And

00:32:46--> 00:32:48

so that's why not include cousins, for example.

00:32:50--> 00:33:15

So cousins, you need to maintain according to that opinion. But the first opinion is the opinion of the majority of the vocal hop, and discuss and make the most perfect sense, because that's what linguistically selected Ryan is the kinship and relevance. But as you understand the level of maintaining the relationship difference from the closest one to you to the Father ones from you.

00:33:17--> 00:33:26

So according to your ability, alone, not asking you to do something beyond your ability is not in my ability to contact some cousins that I can know where they are.

00:33:29--> 00:33:37

Okay, is not my ability to go visit my cousins who are in different 60, especially if you're Australian, okay, your cousin's all over the world.

00:33:39--> 00:33:40

And lately,

00:33:41--> 00:33:50

make it easy to them this year as well, you might find your family all over the world. And nobody will say that's hard. If you don't go visit them.

00:33:52--> 00:33:57

You know, my income is limited, I can go see my mom all the time, I can be with her all the time.

00:33:58--> 00:34:00

Otherwise, I would love to show

00:34:01--> 00:34:11

this all according to your ability. But what's not acceptable is to cut them off completely. You know what this cousin is out of it? This brother is out.

00:34:15--> 00:34:19

No, but you know what I'm going to limit for example, there are some brothers,

00:34:20--> 00:34:23

the more I come closer to them, the more they harm me.

00:34:25--> 00:34:31

Okay, I kept helping you one too, but you keep harming me, you keep, you know, causing problem to me.

00:34:33--> 00:35:00

You know, in this case, you reduce the amount of interaction. So instead of for example, visiting, it might be a phone call might be a message. How is he doing instead of support? You know what, I have a cousin who drugs who use drugs, who does like things like illegal or bad things? gamble. You know what, I'm not going to give you money. This type of support, you're not going to get

00:35:00--> 00:35:04

For me, but if you get sick, I'll get your medicine. I'll take you to hospital

00:35:06--> 00:35:16

because it depends it this is according to what is beneficial Otherwise Otherwise, family will take advantage of other family members.

00:35:17--> 00:35:29

You know, while Amazon chiffonade works and makes money and it lives in America, then all those who live in in Egypt, you know, we're just waiting for you to pay for them

00:35:33--> 00:35:33

that's not right.

00:35:35--> 00:35:36

I want to give them a phone call.

00:35:38--> 00:35:50

I'll make sure that a friend of my Facebook Yeah, also this issue of connecting to them share my share my mama said it's different from one generation to another from one time to another.

00:35:52--> 00:35:56

So today is a very common WhatsApp we keep in contact

00:35:57--> 00:36:00

maybe a little bit ago, it was phone calls.

00:36:03--> 00:36:08

Before that, it was a physical meeting, because people live around each other.

00:36:09--> 00:36:24

But you should maintain that you know, my brother handle lies happy if we contact each other once a month or once you know every three months or six months you know he knows that I'm studying and I'm busy

00:36:26--> 00:36:29

as long as it's something according to what they

00:36:30--> 00:36:40

understand with each other it's acceptable what consider cutting ties is completely you raise the person from your you know from your any

00:36:41--> 00:36:58

less is out of us. That's not a lot. You never pray for them you never make up for them. You never cared about them when they're sick when they die when you never care for them. That's not right. No matter how good or bad they are. If they're Muslim or not Muslims

00:37:02--> 00:37:07

only if they are righteous and they are Muslim. We give them extra

00:37:08--> 00:37:09

connection

00:37:10--> 00:37:16

but still even if they're not Muslim still even if they are bad there is still connection

00:37:17--> 00:37:18

I know someone

00:37:20--> 00:37:21

and he passed away Rahim Allah

00:37:22--> 00:37:24

I had a long conversation with him

00:37:25--> 00:37:26

he had a son

00:37:28--> 00:37:31

from previous married and he's not Muslim.

00:37:33--> 00:37:35

And he completely kind of

00:37:37--> 00:37:47

you know this like he lives in this like you know when we're growing up like we're kids. We hear people almost coding like some of these Egyptian movies and say hey

00:37:51--> 00:37:59

you know you're not gonna take anything from my inheritance your art and you're not my son I don't want to talk to you Don't talk to me just out

00:38:00--> 00:38:01

who said that this

00:38:03--> 00:38:06

you just heard what a lot in his message was upset.

00:38:07--> 00:38:08

This is

00:38:10--> 00:38:15

this other kofod function we have no in Islam we don't have something to go You're not my son. I don't know you don't know me.

00:38:17--> 00:38:30

Never been part of Islamic history or semi culture or Islamic teaching at all. No matter how this person is bad. He's still my son is still my daughter. That is right. This is my father was my mother.

00:38:33--> 00:38:46

When we talk about salata, Rahim so we remember the customer and culture play a role into defining how, how often what's the method?

00:38:48--> 00:38:57

Also we have to understand that relatives are levels, you cannot compare your mother's right, your father's right to project your cousin's.

00:38:58--> 00:38:59

Okay.

00:39:01--> 00:39:01

And

00:39:05--> 00:39:26

in Aberdeen in Hannover himolla said, Sarah to Russian could be with Sam, greeting, gift helping, spending time with them. Okay, you talk to them, you be nice and gentle to them. And if they are far from you, you write a letter for them. He lived a long time ago.

00:39:29--> 00:39:36

And if you can go to visit them in their village or city it will be even better. But it doesn't matter what it basically how

00:39:40--> 00:39:41

in modern days today,

00:39:42--> 00:39:44

which is I can't I have to admit.

00:39:46--> 00:39:53

After that it is not something easy to be connected to your relatives, especially in Western culture

00:39:55--> 00:39:59

and Western culture, family or the nuclear family.

00:40:01--> 00:40:07

That's the concept in American culture, which is my wife, my kids, my parents,

00:40:08--> 00:40:17

even brother and sisters like me some somehow, but I'm not like bird. It's my wife. My kids are my parents.

00:40:19--> 00:40:32

That's the culture in the West. There is no cousins of a three L's who were uncle's paternal uncles on. This is not like in the picture. There's nothing doesn't take priority is not something even we are used to.

00:40:35--> 00:40:37

Once I went to

00:40:44--> 00:40:45

one of the sonic schools

00:40:47--> 00:40:53

and he asked the kids in some schools, I volunteered and asked the cousin so schools, what's your grandfather's name?

00:40:56--> 00:40:57

You know what?

00:40:58--> 00:41:00

You try to get in the mustard?

00:41:02--> 00:41:03

You tried with the kids?

00:41:04--> 00:41:10

When you see a kid who like you're nine years old, 10 years old, asked, What's your grandpa friend's? Name?

00:41:12--> 00:41:15

My experience 90% of them don't know.

00:41:17--> 00:41:20

90% of them don't know their grandparents names.

00:41:22--> 00:41:24

Do you know nothing about your grandfather grandmother.

00:41:28--> 00:41:36

That's such a shame. They know nothing about their uncles, even their names. That's the least amount of connection.

00:41:38--> 00:41:40

How do you want your kids to be blest.

00:41:44--> 00:41:51

So that's why the first step how to keep that connection and maintain sort of passion

00:41:52--> 00:42:22

in our life today. Number one, make sure that you teach your children and you talk to your children about your relatives. They're not going to figure it out on their own. We have to tell them, pardon me sort of like sell them they hadn't told me the sound to Allah moment. And Sammy komatsuna be comical. Learn from your family trees and your lineage, what you can maintain the ties with family.

00:42:24--> 00:42:30

Specially special, especially if you are married multiple times.

00:42:32--> 00:42:35

And you have children from multiple wives

00:42:36--> 00:42:37

over the time,

00:42:38--> 00:42:39

because he can lose relationship.

00:42:41--> 00:42:44

She's in another state, another country and so on, so forth.

00:42:45--> 00:42:49

How can you make your kids know about your family members?

00:42:50--> 00:42:54

Okay, how can you make your kids know about your family members?

00:42:55--> 00:42:56

Number one,

00:42:57--> 00:43:01

I recommend that what you do put a list of

00:43:02--> 00:43:10

their emails. If they have phone numbers or WhatsApp, you put it Okay, their cell phones, if they have

00:43:12--> 00:43:42

Facebook, again, one of these social media put the list of all your cousins or uncles if they have I made sure that you pass it to children. By the way, this is if you ever want to know your uncle's or you can see him in Facebook, you can see him and it's the crime of your life, you know your cousins and and so forth to one of the good activity that I would recommend that you do a family tree as a art project at home.

00:43:43--> 00:43:49

And the weekend, let's say this weekend, say hey, me and my kids were going to do draw the family tree.

00:43:51--> 00:43:54

We are here. So the first branch is your uncle

00:43:57--> 00:43:59

who's his wife, no

00:44:00--> 00:44:03

hotter than who has

00:44:05--> 00:44:08

his kids, you know, whatever. And

00:44:09--> 00:44:19

then they write it and they put it in the in the lease and the drug basically draw that family tree. So they will know at least to the old family.

00:44:21--> 00:44:29

If you can organize a yearly or binary a meeting for the family, at least the one nearby

00:44:31--> 00:44:35

every two years of three years. By the way, I know

00:44:36--> 00:44:48

of at least two or three families non Muslim family who have Mashallah big family. Every year they gather one or every five years the gala one time they come from different states.

00:44:50--> 00:44:56

So this is something maybe you know what it's worth the money it's worth about the Baraka that comes from

00:44:57--> 00:44:59

one of the things that I found very interesting

00:45:00--> 00:45:03

I found people that they have a family tree online.

00:45:06--> 00:45:10

They're savvy enough to put it online, a family tree and people add to it.

00:45:12--> 00:45:30

Because sometimes I don't know my cousins how many kids he has. So you just spread the word, then it became a website base. Okay. And people actually start adding information to it. And I'm not sure but I heard, I didn't get chance to look. But I heard from one of my friends and

00:45:31--> 00:45:33

they didn't even there is an app for that.

00:45:35--> 00:45:39

where people can download the app, and they can add information.

00:45:41--> 00:45:54

And whoever thought about this app is genius, because he really helped people to maintain Russia. And if it's not app, this rumor, not true. This is an invitation for any developer to take that project on.

00:45:56--> 00:45:57

Also,

00:45:58--> 00:46:01

one of the things is good every year

00:46:02--> 00:46:03

let's say in a day,

00:46:04--> 00:46:09

but put it as a habit with the whole family one from the family member volunteers.

00:46:11--> 00:46:17

Let's say about it or volunteers among he will say you know what, everyone?

00:46:19--> 00:46:36

I will make a small report that will often Mashallah you know, what Adam graduated this you know, Mashallah smart got married, you know, this guy, the children, so the whole entire family, the feed into it, and maybe every year, that is kind of small report about what's new in the family?

00:46:39--> 00:46:40

All the way to do it, what's that group?

00:46:43--> 00:46:45

One of the way to do it, is to,

00:46:47--> 00:47:10

you know, have basically simple one, like phone calls and be friend and, and social media. So these are some ways to keep you at least two, because the first point is in silico. One is to be to know them. That's the minimum bare minimum to know who all your relatives are.

00:47:13--> 00:47:13

Number two,

00:47:15--> 00:47:23

is to try to get connected with them. phone calls, messages, whatever possible.

00:47:24--> 00:47:31

So there is a connection, a communication, that's number two. Number three, visitation if you can.

00:47:32--> 00:47:35

Okay, at least you know how they look like.

00:47:37--> 00:47:46

If it's not physical, please FaceTime your handler acknowledge they make claim makes pretty easy for us to certain extent.

00:47:47--> 00:47:53

And if you can, especially parents, visiting them, bringing them over to visit, and so forth.

00:47:54--> 00:47:55

And I wanted to know something

00:47:57--> 00:48:11

I know it's expensive, as have three, four kids go all the way to, let's say, to Philistine or to Emirates, Emirates or to Egypt or to Syria to visit your family. I know it's not easy. I know it's not cheap.

00:48:13--> 00:48:19

But will lie This is one of the best way to spend your money or Pakistan or Anglada.

00:48:20--> 00:48:22

What is the best way to invest your money

00:48:24--> 00:48:25

is to keep that connection.

00:48:29--> 00:48:31

Also, one other thing is to make them out for them.

00:48:33--> 00:48:43

You need to remember all of them but at least you have to ask him When was the last time that you said all I asked him to blossom to forgive all my family, all my relatives

00:48:49--> 00:48:50

back home

00:48:51--> 00:48:52

the reality

00:48:53--> 00:49:04

he made them the least. If you can specify some of them by names, you make the offer or if you know that they are in trouble. You reach out sick

00:49:05--> 00:49:32

that you basically help their family or left behind and so forth. And that you can help them maybe some people need not financial aid. Maybe they need just no Say hi advice. You know, my cousin, my son might my nephew is in bad shape. He's just wasting his life. Maybe I need to reach out and give them advice or be mentors to him or to her talk to them.

00:49:33--> 00:49:36

Hey, come and volunteer in my

00:49:37--> 00:49:47

shadow me in my work. I'm going to teach a skill alive. You can for them also to to connect to them in the habit of Cajuns.

00:49:48--> 00:49:49

Marriages,

00:49:51--> 00:49:52

a newborn

00:49:53--> 00:50:00

a trauma Bond had they bought a new home, something happened good to them. You there to connect

00:50:00--> 00:50:13

with them. One of that also the area of sort of, ahem, gifts, you give them gifts, especially in the hobby paid. One of the area, which is financial support,

00:50:14--> 00:50:19

if you can, but again, I'm saying this because I've seen this a lot,

00:50:21--> 00:50:24

many times, that people take advantage of you

00:50:25--> 00:50:27

and just stop sucking you.

00:50:28--> 00:50:33

If it doesn't harm you, but sometimes you harm them.

00:50:34--> 00:50:41

Because the last thing that you want you when somebody is open is bothered to keep feeding, you want people to be independent.

00:50:43--> 00:50:48

I always say, there is a difference between I help you and adopt you.

00:50:51--> 00:50:58

And you my son obligated to spend money on him, I have my daughter, I have to support her, my son, I have to support it.

00:51:00--> 00:51:22

Yeah, and that's my kids, I have to the kids have to take care of. But Mashallah you're like, you know, like, bigger than me and stronger than me and my brother will amazing. And I help you, but it doesn't mean I adopt you, it doesn't mean I, I pay your salary every month just because you're my cousin or this I will help you for for a year and

00:51:23--> 00:51:30

if this will leave when I see that you are going to somewhere to build yourself. You see the difference between the

00:51:34--> 00:51:38

individual salon set of those sort of petty cash,

00:51:39--> 00:51:41

initial cash, anybody knows

00:51:42--> 00:51:42

what

00:51:44--> 00:51:49

the best form of salon is to the relatives? Who is caching

00:51:51--> 00:51:53

cache cache?

00:51:55--> 00:51:55

cache.

00:51:58--> 00:51:59

It sounds like a good words, bad words.

00:52:01--> 00:52:01

And something

00:52:03--> 00:52:05

that will cache

00:52:08--> 00:52:10

The one who wants to harm you.

00:52:12--> 00:52:13

Who doesn't like you?

00:52:15--> 00:52:24

Who will back by he can imagine the best when you give her to relative to you. Even though this person is back to you?

00:52:26--> 00:52:27

Can anybody tell me why?

00:52:31--> 00:52:38

because it might soften his heart and change him so that evilness will go away. Very good. What else?

00:52:42--> 00:52:44

That means you only do it

00:52:45--> 00:52:45

for law.

00:52:47--> 00:52:55

That means you are absolutely sincere because your soul your neffs telling you don't do it.

00:52:57--> 00:52:58

But I'm not doing it for you.

00:52:59--> 00:53:20

I'm not doing for my ego. I'm not doing because he comes up to me, and he drains me. And he told me this and he told me that I'm not doing this because he's gonna marry me his daughter one day, I'm not doing this because he's going to do this to me. No, no, I'm only doing it I have every reason, every worldly personal reason to cut you off.

00:53:21--> 00:53:25

There's only one thing keep me connected to our last panel.

00:53:28--> 00:53:30

That's limited class.

00:53:33--> 00:53:54

So also, one of the things that I will suggest, and I found that very, very helpful. And then giving you from a practical point that I've seen you as a family come together. That's one of the secrets of ahem and it's beautiful as we always say was giving money, sometimes you need to encourage them actually to give money

00:53:55--> 00:54:14

is to encourage them to be part of a project. A charity. Hey, let's build mustard in the rainbow family. Let's do well waterwell in the name orphan. Let's do a sponsor a class, a sponsor a book that sponsors student of knowledge.

00:54:15--> 00:54:20

And we sponsor that lets you know Bill domestic together.

00:54:21--> 00:54:44

Also, I found something very interesting. I found some family members what they do like cousins and saw that they have every year they do competition among their kids and it's not a competition. And they said anyone from the family women raise the bar on mortgages on the whole family come together I'll give them like 5000 $10,000

00:54:45--> 00:54:59

if he finished his report on the encourage one another, to be good and better Muslims. You know, we're gonna agree. Anybody graduated from high school with like, you know, high grade three points or nine like Excellent. So you're like

00:55:00--> 00:55:02

In college, we as a family, we support.

00:55:04--> 00:55:08

So when you encourage your family to be part of something good, that's part of so

00:55:11--> 00:55:17

I know for example, family members, they have as a cat, some Douglas account.

00:55:18--> 00:55:29

So every one of them put this account in that box, basically that account, then they are use that money to support people.

00:55:33--> 00:55:41

One of the way of sort of ahem, a slider to the beam, if you know, among your relatives, problems,

00:55:42--> 00:55:49

to my cousin, they don't talk to each other, to my uncles, they don't talk to each other, I reach out and try to reconsolidate between them.

00:55:50--> 00:55:52

And I use the people of wisdom.

00:55:53--> 00:56:10

You know, people have religion, sometimes even the family will make a committee to solve the problem. You guys don't know how common This is? That brothers, they don't talk to each other anymore. It's because business

00:56:13--> 00:56:13

because money

00:56:15--> 00:56:16

they just don't talk to each other.

00:56:19--> 00:56:20

One of the aroma ones.

00:56:24--> 00:56:34

Somebody came to him and he said, We're best friends. We love each other for sake of Allah. Let's take this to the next level. He said what he said let's start business together.

00:56:36--> 00:56:36

He said Son,

00:56:39--> 00:56:42

our not trade the Brotherhood and the love and

00:56:44--> 00:56:51

to be partner. No, I'm not I'm not I see myself. I'm not that person who will feel good to be

00:56:53--> 00:56:57

moderate Mohammed Salah told me a word of wisdom I will never forget. It's very true.

00:56:59--> 00:57:01

He said, what he did in my life, I learned

00:57:02--> 00:57:06

that very, very few people who can be a partner in business.

00:57:08--> 00:57:22

on anyone in the business somewhere also, even as a business, I don't know about law. But you know, it partner is very hard to have a good partner, it's always better to be by yourself.

00:57:25--> 00:57:26

There is a joke.

00:57:27--> 00:57:28

They said there is this guy.

00:57:32--> 00:57:33

His name is Syed

00:57:35--> 00:57:37

has a partner and two partners.

00:57:38--> 00:57:51

Sad and eat all of them he say sad, not get confused. on what to brand himself say he was so angry Why always like people mixed between us.

00:57:52--> 00:57:56

Then he put like pressure. So it quit.

00:57:57--> 00:58:02

It used to be like this, this is the company of unsired. And he

00:58:03--> 00:58:07

so he was so happy. He said this is the company.

00:58:09--> 00:58:33

He and his partner at sorry, sad instead of his partners, sad and eight now he changed. He said this has saved the company with his partner site. But still he went to Amazon. So he put pressure until he kicked that side out. So he changed the sign and he said this is so it's company luxury

00:58:38--> 00:58:39

stop.

00:58:41--> 00:59:01

People like when it comes to business, this is your own business. You have no Sheree with you. But anyway, so let's say there is a problem over money over dispute. And and also you know what, what do you think the second thing that cause problem and families after business? Marriage?

00:59:02--> 00:59:08

No, marriage is a problem that comes up their marriage is divorce. I divorced my cousin.

00:59:10--> 00:59:11

My uncle is angry.

00:59:13--> 00:59:40

You know abused my sister. And this is my cousin. So it's became Problem number two, or maybe even more can be number one when it comes to cut ties is the issue of marriages. That's why one of the wisdom of why we don't marry from relatives. So if anything goes wrong, we don't lose this relationship. Just keep it outside the family

00:59:41--> 00:59:47

okay. So, whenever we see a problem like this part of sanatorium is to reach out try to reconsolidate

00:59:48--> 00:59:59

also, part of searching for him is to advise them to give them the see how if you see them doing something wrong to speak up, so that's haram does not

01:00:00--> 01:00:11

Correct. That's waste. That's not wise. That's injustice. You can treat your son this way. You can talk to your wife like that. You can abuse your wife

01:00:12--> 01:00:23

you can be doing this to your kids pardon me so solemn on for a haka volume and Omar Roma, you support your brother, if he's transgressor or transgress against

01:00:24--> 01:00:32

being abused understand, but how can I support them when he's transgressing? When he is the abuser he said by stopping him

01:00:34--> 01:00:36

from abusing others they

01:00:39--> 01:00:43

that's why you see in the B cell allowed SLM he started with his family.

01:00:44--> 01:00:51

He said, you have any more you have any ambitions you have any kind of you know a you have any abdomen of

01:00:53--> 01:00:54

this all his relatives

01:00:55--> 01:00:59

and critical enforcer coming in now, save yourself from hellfire.

01:01:01--> 01:01:05

Yeah, Benny Abdullah, his immediate family and cable officer coming in now.

01:01:07--> 01:01:14

Then the circle goes smaller. Yeah, Fatima, and the officer came in and now for in Neela only colicky Minna La

01:01:15--> 01:01:19

la la la comme Rahman Sabu ha pupillary.

01:01:21--> 01:01:23

Deaf optimate protects yourself from hope on

01:01:26--> 01:01:29

number 12 our to wrap it up quickly.

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The issue of one salata Rahim is to what is to maintain the rights for every Muslim

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you remember the six rights set

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is to visit the SEC to follow the janaza to accept the invitation to see our hammock Allah so basically part of salata Rahim is to maintain the general

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duties that upon us as Muslim toward one another to maintain these.

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And my final point for today

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what's time now how long we've been talking?

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Oh, hello.

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So I think I give you more details. That's That's how can we maintain some of them? I actually next class in sha Allah Allah I have about eight or

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also the coming points are very good important. I identify

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the most common 10 reasons why people cut ties with each other as family.

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So I explained to you how to keep intellitype and 12 points. And now next class I will talk about the 10 most common reasons for why people cut ties with relatives. Then we're going to talk about to talk about

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that people in cutting ties with relatives are in different levels. Okay, so you have three different levels that we're going to talk about them, then inshallah we'll take the next Hadith

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which is Hadith avontuur battle the ally in the Mahabharata Congo Paloma del binotto mana what had a karelian iraq iraq at odds

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with this will come to the end of our talk today.