Waleed Basyouni – Bulugh Al Maram – Ties Of Kinship #3

Waleed Basyouni
AI: Summary © The conversation covers common reasons for family members to cut ties with relatives, including loss of kinship and need for support, practical tips for maintaining a connection, and cultural reasons behind cutting ties with family members. The speakers emphasize the importance of giving advice to relatives and avoiding cutting ties with them. They also discuss the benefits of being nosy and cutting ties with people, including avoiding cultural differences and the negative impact of wasting money. The conversation ends with a call for viewers to leave comments and discuss losses and privacy.
AI: Transcript ©
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smilla hamdulillah salatu salam ala rasulillah Juana and he was the woman who had our back.

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Last week, we talked about Hadith derivatively, Mohammed Ali allow on the tin to be sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Lion, Holden netta cartoon that the prophet SAW Selim said the one who

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cut the ties with

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their kinship will not enter Paradise and cut the ties. And then soufiane explained that by saying, cut the tie with the can ship,

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Rahim Allah, to Allah.

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And we talked about what that means and how this can be fulfilled. And we mentioned several points, I'll go over them very quickly

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that we said,

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I said last week, that how to fulfill that right or duty of your kinship, this is can be different from one relative to another. So your duty towards your parents, your uncle's is not the same as your cousins and nephews. And there is more rights and there's the more and more way to connect to your uncles and your uncle's from your mother's side or father's sides and aunts. Those deserve more than just a phone call or dropping a message, every eight

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verse deserve your financial support, they are in need, you know, sickness taking care of them, versus a distant cousin, okay, that you might go away or

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culturally acceptable, if you just call them once in a read or something like that, or a phone call or a message or, you know, visiting them from here to sometimes when you go and you travel to the ad.

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And he said, this has taken consideration also our modern days, they have basically give us other way of being connected with people and they feel that they are connected to us, but not necessarily to be through, you know,

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visitation or traveling to them. Today, even you know, a phone call or FaceTime or meeting someone, even your parents, sometimes that can be sufficient, if they are happy with that. So it all depends on whatever it takes to keep that connection between you and your relatives. And we said these are some steps, some practical tips. Number one, it's important for you and your children to know your kinship your relatives, and from your mother side and father side. You know and I said last week, unfortunately some kids even don't know their current parents or their names are okay, so to know who they are and to know their names and well another suggestion I give maybe make a family tree as

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a project between your your kids so they know who their relatives are. We said hey make a diary of their names and phone numbers and you know or whatsapp group between you and the family member. Maybe there is like

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a newsletter somebody like every eat or every year it shows chaired by everyone. So people would know what's the newest things happen to that person he graduated he got children he got married. So the whole family stay connected, calling them messaging them making their app for them, visiting them, if they are in hardship that you offer your support, if they are sick to visit them to offer them financial hub of the trouble or need or they need advice and you can advise them or provide for them the appropriate advice by expert. If the die you will be there to witness their funeral makes a lot of janazah on them. And even if you miss Salatin janazah you still can pray funeral on them

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after they are buried. This is part of the rights upon you as relatives and as Muslims congratulating them in happy occasions marriage graduation aid. New children Ron Noora Ramadan had buying a new house, starting a new business you know, also supporting them financially as much as you can, especially the poor and the needy and the one who in debt among them.

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And also in nebby sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said a sort of a to Allah miskeen sada or Allah or Bettina tan sila was sadhaka. When you give charity to a person, that's charity, but he gave a charity to someone who is related to you that's double to charity and cilantro him and being connected to your kin ship and in the Bissell Salam consider this one of the best form of charity of Buddle Sutton Allah Rahim will cache the best form of charges to give to someone who's related to you and that person is

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cashier cashier who said even if that person hates you, even the person not good to you, but you still giving them because you do this for our last panel what part of being connected with your family and most giving the advice giving an honorable model for now and your mooncup if you see one of them don't pray you advise them don't fast drink alcohol use drugs you know cousins or nephew or some of that any something bad you see in their life you know there is marriage problem you go give them advice. And if the abuse you stop their abuse, let's say somebody's abusing his children abusing his wife abusing her husband, you stop from them from doing that. They have the rights of

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like any other Muslim, which is the rights of giving Salaam visiting in sickness following the janazah answering their call and saying a hammock Allah when they sneeze and other things as well.

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Today, I would like to speak more about what are the reasons the common reason that we see in society that lead to cutting ties with relatives?

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What is the main reasons for people to cut ties and stop? You know, being connected with their relatives?

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Anybody can give me? Let's see what you guys have sisters. By the way, if you guys want to come inside the mustard, the side of the mustard is empty.

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So what do you guys think what will be in your opinion, you've seen the main reason for relatives not to talk to each other cutting ties with each other

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money, businesses and you know, financial disagreement? No, that's very true. Also related to money is inheritance. I found this is a very common reason for family to cut ties that fight over inheritance, especially woman

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you know, I know a case that I was involved in, yeah, will be the sign. So I know a case where the brother went to get his inheritance, okay, after

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basically, his father passed away.

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And he inherited a property. Okay. And this property is his, let's say he has a an apartment, he found out that his brothers sold the apartment,

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took over his inheritance. And they did, especially if she's a woman, a sister.

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And unfortunately, in some cultures, he said, I'm not gonna let my father's money go to a stranger

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who's a stranger, her husband.

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So they will not give her her and her that's a very common thing in the culture that I'm familiar with an Arab culture, for example. And many other countries, they will they will, if it's sister She will not enter. In many cases, especially among younger people, she will not get hers.

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And they will misuse it. So that's another fight over the inheritance will be a big problem.

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What else? So money and manifests stated in different ways? What else? Why people cut ties with their relatives other than money.

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social status, what that means. What do you mean by that?

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Yeah, so basically, when there is a big difference in social status, somebody is very rich, somebody poor. So the rich became arrogant.

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And arrogance is the reason you know, it's so arrogant to be seen with his poor cousin or the poor brother or he, you know, I'm very successful businessman. I'm not a want to be associated my fault. I remember a case of a homeless guy.

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a homeless guy. His own Son was a very successful, powerful businessman.

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And he said I don't want to be messing with my father who was homeless.

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as By the way, I'm not talking about I'm talking about our community.

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I'm not talking about like somebody who lives in the

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green moon.

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Somebody lives in Houston.

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I will not associate myself with my cousin, my brother is just a loser. Online, I don't want to be a scene around him.

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I'll tell you something, I see this because this is has to be taught from the beginning.

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A young man like us, for example, is in high school, he's in high school, you know, he don't want to be seen with his little brother.

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He feels ashamed to be around his brother or sister.

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And that's a common in college, they grow up a little over that phase. So cut tie.

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You know, brothers fighting inside the house, they don't talk to each other sisters.

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We need to make sure that this message heard by you can't there is no, nothing in the world should stop you from talking to your brother.

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Or to be mean to your brother.

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That's how long this is a very serious sin

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is not just a joke. That's a serious sin.

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This is as bad as you know, doing that lying and doing the drugs are doing this this as bad if not worse

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than that. And people have to understand one of the reason why people cut relationship with each other, because they don't know how dangerous

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and how evil it is to cut ties with relatives and family members. People think it's like not a big deal.

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Also, one of the reasons for people to cut ties with relatives. What else?

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What do you mean?

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So I'm jealous. You now want to marry this woman? He married her.

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Can you imagine? odd once a case? Somebody came to me and he said, Sure. I said, Yeah. I said, I want to tell you about something. I need your help. I said, Sure. He took me in the side and was taught by

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my brother. I said, he has three kids. His wife, she's just amazing woman, been there with him for the last 12 years. Okay. And

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are a whatever number of years. She's this and that. Like

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I said, Okay, is anything I can help? Like? He said, he's gay.

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And he just want to go open. And he said, I don't want I'm going to be openly gay. I can't live like that.

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And now, we tried and I said, Okay, so do you need to talk to him? He said, No, that's not the problem.

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I said, What's the problem?

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Because he has three kids and many He's like, she's divorcing him. I'm thinking about marrying her.

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I said, is it I said your bra is my brother's not the problem. isn't the issue is not my brother issues. I want to marry her.

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I was like, what's going on the world? Is this the issue?

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ages drive me crazy. When he sees this stuff like that. Tape I said to him, if you marry your brother's axe, how do you think your relationship with your brother will be?

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Like, how would you talk to each other?

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He sees you with his wife and his kids like uncle or father or stepfather. Step uncle. There's gonna be no the whole wire

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mixed up.

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That's that's basically I said, if you do that, you taking a step that to cut your brothers off.

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Give me another one.

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also needs to

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somebody told me he was proposing to a girl. Anyway, he didn't like the girl. Then he ended up you know, breaking up with the girl. He did not marry her. It just engaged. Then he married her mother.

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The man I just want

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Understand how her and her mother whatever

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can manage you may engage this guy for a year. And now

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oh, you know, he is like with her mother.

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So yes, I agree marriage can be a problem. You know, and there is manifestation of births, maybe there's more severe

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manifestation of it, but it is exurbs.

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And also,

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sometimes husband and wife,

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when you marry someone, and that one

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actually force you to cut ties with, with relatives.

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You know, like, for example, in some culture, when you marry a woman, your first priority is to make sure to cut her off from her family.

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Why? Because some cultures that if she's still connected to her family will cause you trouble. So what do you do? No talk, no visitation, nothing. He will spend whatever money he wants in his mom. But if his wife talk to her mom, oh, my God, you will start counting the minutes.

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So you will cut off her from that what because of the marriage, she's not any more connected to her family.

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I know many cases, not one, not two, not three, not four, and not in other communities.

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here and other communities as well.

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Where I see sisters come crying to me said Jeff, I have to make a choice between my father and my husband,

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my kids and my husband, my kids or my dad,

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either my kids or my father.

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That's, that's ridiculous. That's one of the reason for cutting ties. Force.

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How many

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brothers their wives turn them against their parents.

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Turn him away from his mother.

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keep feeding him against his sisters,

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and so forth. So one of marriage can be a real issue here and causing trouble and cut ties between family members.

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May Allah protect us? What else?

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jealousy. Absolutely. He's so jealous because he's successful. He's so jealous because his wife is, you know,

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more educated or more friendly, or more beautiful. so jealous because he made much so much money.

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so jealous because my father loves him more tomorrow, my problem

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as my father Not me, what should I do?

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You know, he's jealous, because what so these are no real reason for people to cut ties with each other and reduce the relationship with each other.

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And that's how long

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What else?

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political differences. Very good. Unfortunately, today, you know, she's pro Trump and he's like, anti Trump. Guy or he is like protests and anti that I love American way. No, at the table dinner, don't bring politics or London. I mean by religion, don't debate any issues and issues, give advice, but just don't know, debate over dinner. Let's especially Thanksgiving coming. Okay, so no need for it to be a political debate. That's very true. So here, what I'm saying is basically also political differences can be a reason for people, unfortunately, today to cut ties, sometimes not even political differences. Sometimes sports, you know, they cut each other off over sports. Can you

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believe that?

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Yes. And that again, because they don't value didn't see how important the issue of being connected to the relatives? Anybody else?

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Yeah, inherent rivalry between cousins. For example. My dad hates his brother. So you know what the cousins started hating each other as well. And so forth. You know, my dad can't stand my father, my mother's father in law's thing. So I inherited that so I don't like their family side. So I inherit all this pretty good. Excellent.

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fundamentalism. What do you mean by that?

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Yeah. Sometimes people are very extreme, very rigid. You know?

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Good evening, very close to this point that I have, which is has to do with religion and other area, which is some family members just too nosy. They like to basically force their opinion religious opinions, religious positions, political opinions or positions, whatever over others.

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And sometimes also the like, sometimes you cut people off because they are too nosy.

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How much you make? Wow. What's your husband's salary? What do you do? Cause what why not pregnant? Excuse me. You became my doctor. Now. You know, like some people act as your doctor, you shrink your like, say, your counselor and your lawyer to and your CBA you know, they want to know everything about your life, even relatives, so you talk cutting them off.

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So being nosy lead people to stay away from each other.

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Also, stingy means

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stinginess lead to cutting ties with people. Because I don't like to be around someone so stingy,

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Also, businesses as we said earlier, one of the things also some people like to recommend to you a lot to make you feel bad. Every time you see this Uncle He keeps doing what are you haven't seen how long this has happened. Like ages ago, you did this and you did this and your father did this. Every time the same story again. And again. Again, try blame you try to you know, bring the old stories. What happened in the past why this happened? Why we don't see you You won't do this. Why you do this? Why you do that? loss? I can't take this anymore.

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So this is another problem that I see between relatives happen a lot. In some people every time you go to them, why didn't you do this? Oh my god. Like one of the things just, I'm going to give it even it's not directly related. But one of the things that's interesting. Some people just like to Curt sighs, everything you do.

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And I'll tell you a rule about criticism.

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Even if it is something constructive.

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If it's constructive, it's a valid point. But there is no benefit from it. Don't say it.

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Okay, so for example, you know,

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our IRA went and he bought a car.

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Carlos, he signed the deal. He signed the deal, he got a Lexus Li ba got Lexus. He got a Lexus. And Mashallah he signed the deal with the dealer he put the down payment tell us there is no way he can change the car. He stopped for the next five years making these payments. Then I come in and said Mashallah, did you buy it? He said, Yeah, what do you buy Lexus?

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Come on, man. Why in the world would you buy Lexus?

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Who in the world wanna buy right that car has a loser sign on it.

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Okay, so you know what, with the same amount of money I could have get you a better 20% 30% Plus I could have get you you know a Camry or can it get you like this or you know that is Mercy's even on a make him feel so bad about his choice.

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Even if I have a point.

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But there is no benefit of this. You just making him feel bad. Halas I bought the pens, you know what I sold in that store? $20 less? Why would you say that he cannot he wear it he he can't return it back. You just make him feel bad. You just exhibit

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We have to learn because if you always say this, you make people feel bad people don't like to be around somebody who makes them feel bad. arrogance, people don't like to be arrogant.

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And as I said, ignorance

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is another reason why people don't care. I don't know that I'm obligated to be connected to my cousins. I didn't know. I didn't know that it's important to know my nephews or my cousins. I didn't know that I have to talk to my uncle's.

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You know, I just simply I don't know.

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And that's one of the reasons that people don't connect with their authors. And remember, Rahim Allah, Allah said, the people when it comes to the relationship with their family members are different categories, the first category,

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the one, that to try to reach out to those who cut them off and those who are

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Back to them

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and you are good to them but they are bad to you. And the best example is Muhammad Sallallahu sallam, he never hold back from reaching out to his uncle's. Even a Buddha was very bad I mean to him has their relatives from Rajesh salaallah alayhi wasallam when he entered my case and one thing I will do to you this is your brother or cousin.

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You will not do anything bad to us we know that he said yes you are free after all these years of animosity.

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See, so you be good to the sore back to you. Mr. He said bad things about Azure and guess what? Who support Mr. Financial abubaker as his father

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did he stopped the financial support No. What I tell you will probably minko masa

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Cordoba while Misaki almajiri nephew sebelah Well, yeah, for your special.

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Don't hold back from helping and supporting your relatives, and the fear of the poor and the needies. If you have wealth, forgive and let go.

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Don't you want Allah to forgive you and let your sins go?

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Allah to him buena el Faro la hora que la foreign Rahim. That's why abubaker only heard the verses said, our world continue because he thought about stopping the financial support to Muslims that I will continue support and because I want a lot of forgiveness. So this is the first category.

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The second one, so you

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connect with those who harming you. The second

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that you connect with those who don't harm you, but they don't care about being connected to you. You didn't see any harm from them. But you know what, they don't care for you, but you care for them.

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And nobody saw Salam said the real was the one who really connected his family and fulfill the the meaning of being connected kinship is not the one who reach out to those who are reaching out to him. No is the one who reach out to people who don't care about him who don't reach out.

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Number three, that you are connected with those who are connected with you.

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My cousin called me and I called him back, me and my brother we could turn to you. So that's the third level. Make the opposite is the different type of coffee out of Rimini. Obviously the worst type of party I've ever had is to cut off those who are good to you.

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Somebody is trying to be good to you and you cut them off.

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In the base of Solomon he said that whole agenda will not enter agenda It doesn't mean that they are Kfar it means they will not entertain the right away. They will not enter gender until they are punished until they are questioned. Until they are they will be delayed. They will be there will not enter gender in a high level so all these but it doesn't mean that they are not going to enter gender at all. No they will eventually do because cutting ties with the relative is not good for the only thing take the person or will prevent the person from entering Jenna at all is the key for a shark.

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Next, Heidi, any movie or TV show

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Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam

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in the La Habra de PUE mahat del bene woman and will hat will carry helican de la upon cassata

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la underrated the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said Allah has made it for forbidden for you or Allah made it

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prohibited for you to be disrespectful, showing

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on beautiful behavior to your mothers

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bury daughters alive, to refuse others their views and to demand things from others which are not worth demanding.

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And he hates that you engage in gossip, asking many questions about people's affairs and wasting wealth. This headed report by Buhari vamos

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al Bukhari in chapter poco vida de Lima Muslim

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Allah for prohibited for bait manner. He asked me not to do these things.

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And repo

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Yeah any being disrespectful

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unbeautiful and being not fulfilling the rights of your mother, Coco mahad

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Allah in Arabic language it means a sharp which is your new tear something. So, sharp and Arabic hang up it means you tear something. So imagine we as a family and we're like this

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is to tear it basically to break that tied

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to harm.

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So, it is a very, very very general word which include anything that is not appropriate anything which is not good that you do to your parents are to your mother or to your relatives, and Omaha

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Anybody knows mahat is a poor, the single word the single is

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a man Have you ever heard that word is not mahat comes from God and

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the difference between a man

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and mahad

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different than comes from a man which it means only referring

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a mother

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who is a beings

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can be referred to animals. She's the mother of the cow, the mother camel,

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okay. But you cannot say this man, to the cows, mother.

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To animals, you only use it for human beings.

00:32:05 --> 00:32:05


00:32:07 --> 00:32:31

interesting. Arabs have a very interesting language. What are the okay kawada which it means you bury her life. And they used to bury their daughters arrive? Because this is a common practice. Another common was a practice in the Arab culture that time. Question. does this apply to marrying a boy alive?

00:32:32 --> 00:32:46

Yes. But he mentioned girls daughters, because that's a common thing. At that time. Not a common that they will kill or they will bury their boys.

00:32:47 --> 00:32:47


00:32:48 --> 00:32:53

I never thought that we will ever see in humanity.

00:32:54 --> 00:32:55

This concept again.

00:32:58 --> 00:33:01

I'm not sure if you guys familiar with all the debates about abortion.

00:33:03 --> 00:33:05

There is reasonably

00:33:06 --> 00:33:08

people calling for abortion.

00:33:09 --> 00:33:18

And that's the very very far far leftist, socialist type of ideas. They sign that

00:33:20 --> 00:33:23

the child when it's right after its birth

00:33:25 --> 00:33:29

it shouldn't be the mother right to decide at that level or not.

00:33:31 --> 00:33:43

So abortion even after the birth, and people start arguing that and it shouldn't shouldn't be the woman and the mother called to decide that live or not

00:33:46 --> 00:33:49

any one of the shocking thing

00:33:50 --> 00:33:58

was when we heard that even before delivery even a week or two before delivery.

00:33:59 --> 00:34:03

I said the mother has the right to terminate the pregnancy

00:34:04 --> 00:34:06

doesn't matter how old the baby is

00:34:09 --> 00:34:10

as crazy

00:34:12 --> 00:34:15

as like killing you killing your babies alive.

00:34:17 --> 00:34:19

Especially in that long term.

00:34:20 --> 00:34:21


00:34:23 --> 00:34:29

we'll talk more about this and another manifestation for it today. But men and

00:34:30 --> 00:34:38

men basically top man admins prevent any don't give people what they deserve.

00:34:39 --> 00:34:48

Well hat comes from Hattie Yeah, and he apne give me so you don't give people what they deserve. But you demand your full rights.

00:34:49 --> 00:34:51

You demand from people everything.

00:34:52 --> 00:34:59

And Allah said hates and hates it means forbade. When you say Allah hates something, it means something forbidden. That's all I have.

00:35:00 --> 00:35:07

In the current galaxy, you can end up become a coup de la hates all these things because it's hot.

00:35:08 --> 00:35:28

And dealin work on key Len wirkkala wakandan. And also it was reported pain and walk on file with no 10. We also reported Buhari pain and wacol and an Arabic language both is correct.

00:35:30 --> 00:35:36

What do you learn walk on, clean and walk on, it means that you don't talk too much.

00:35:38 --> 00:35:42

Okay? Also it could means you don't talk too much.

00:35:44 --> 00:35:52

When you initiate the talk, and you don't to talk too much when somebody asks you, oh my god, that is some people need this. How do

00:35:54 --> 00:35:59

you ask? He just talk about something you want the quick answer, he gives you his life story.

00:36:01 --> 00:36:13

And you're not his counselor. You know, ages people like what? In Navy Tom says, he carry this talk too much for no benefit, for no reason for no

00:36:14 --> 00:36:21

benefit at all. Also, it could means they talk too much because they keep telling what people say.

00:36:22 --> 00:36:53

They like to tell what Oh, do you know what happened? Do you know what this Do you know what that and it just became like a you know, a lie of Facebook telling you about everybody is live and everybody is what's doing in their life. So that's something that a lot. Matala hates when people talk too much, either about other people about things that's not beneficial. And that leads to the next one, which is wasting time. And also wasting money that I lost my dollar hates to see you wasting your money.

00:36:55 --> 00:36:56


00:36:57 --> 00:37:21

we only speak for 45 minutes of the class. But I will just mention and five minutes and we will call it for the night. What do we learn from this video number one being bad or disrespectful or not fulfilling usually towards your parents as *. So why the process Allah mentioned mother in particular, and this honey, he didn't say parents, he said Mother

00:37:22 --> 00:37:26

and no era him Allah said, Because reason. He said, Because

00:37:28 --> 00:37:49

boys and children intend to cross the line with mother more than father. Because she's soft, she's weaker, you know, the father will be worried that he will, you know, if you became disrespectful, he knows how to straighten up. But mother, people kind of crossed the line because they don't, they don't have fear.

00:37:51 --> 00:38:19

So that's why it became more severe, and a lot and maybe some specifically mentioned not because she's a mother, or also because mother forgive quickly. So I know she's gonna forgive me. So I keep you know, crossing the line one time after another. Because they know in the end of the day, she will never have anything in our hearts on me. But that doesn't give you the permission to cross the line doesn't give you the permission to keep doing the wrong thing. Store your mom.

00:38:22 --> 00:38:35

Also, from this, how do we learn, since the mother there is more rewarding, or more rewards in treating her extra good

00:38:36 --> 00:38:40

or good. There is more sun in treating her bat.

00:38:41 --> 00:38:48

As if she has a because of her status so high. So that's the word is so high, and the sin is so high at the same time.

00:38:49 --> 00:38:52

You should be very careful how you address your mom.

00:38:53 --> 00:39:28

How you talk to your mother, and any form of this. And it's amazing how set up for him. I used to be, you know, for example, madam that had his own model they allow and when they talk about their mother, it's amazing. They said he will not eat with her until she finished like he will be there and he will if there is like one plate has no food that he will wait until she takes whatever she wants. He said why is it because I'm wanting that I will pick something from the plate that she was looking at and desiring

00:39:30 --> 00:39:34

and I don't know how to make sure that she takes the food that you like.

00:39:35 --> 00:39:41

It'd been sitting on his speaks to his mom. These are these peas beets are like the way they speak the king.

00:39:44 --> 00:39:52

It's amazing how they used to address and to talk to the mother in a very high respectful manner.

00:39:54 --> 00:39:59

One of the scholars was giving a class on when his mother passed him when he's

00:40:00 --> 00:40:01

mother passed by he stood up

00:40:03 --> 00:40:12

he was teaching this is why did you stand up he said so my mother standing in the back and it felt disrespect that I am sitting and my mother standing

00:40:15 --> 00:40:19

are not going to let this happen. He stood up until she passed until she moved.

00:40:23 --> 00:40:26

Today your mother comes and leaves a no care nobody cares.

00:40:29 --> 00:40:36

And by the way, not because your mom is friendly, it means that she lose the respect that you deserve

00:40:38 --> 00:40:42

not because your mom is easygoing it means that you know, I don't care

00:40:44 --> 00:40:55

and because mom comes from a culture that they don't have that kind of special if your mom is a convert or new Muslim or she come from a different culture that these concepts not very, you know, big under her culture.

00:40:57 --> 00:40:58

It doesn't mean that you don't

00:41:00 --> 00:41:05

do the effort to make sure that your mom taking that respect that you deserve.

00:41:07 --> 00:41:12

A Coke is any form of disrespect any form of harm.

00:41:13 --> 00:41:17

Okay, is not allowed any form of disobedience.

00:41:18 --> 00:41:29

In short, or an elf initially I recognize this as something bad in Islam, or culturally it's considered something bad that's what I thought I said doing like this with your hand

00:41:30 --> 00:41:32

staring at her face

00:41:36 --> 00:41:40

that's not allowed. It isn't making them cry

00:41:41 --> 00:41:42


00:41:43 --> 00:41:44

What about

00:41:46 --> 00:41:49

if you disobey her

00:41:50 --> 00:41:54

and you stand against her well, because she ordered you to do something wrong.

00:42:02 --> 00:42:05

You know what your mom forcing you to marry someone that you don't want to marry?

00:42:07 --> 00:42:14

She insisting on you to marry this lady and I'm not gonna marry this well I can't stand this lady. This is not my wife.

00:42:15 --> 00:42:19

You need to marry this one. No, I can say no that's not consider

00:42:22 --> 00:42:24

being respectful I'm not going to do that.

00:42:26 --> 00:42:32

Because it's not part of her rights to force me to marry someone that I don't want to be married to.

00:42:33 --> 00:42:36

Because that's I'm gonna harm this woman I'm going to be married to

00:42:38 --> 00:42:44

what if she asked you to divorce your wife and my wife is a good woman. I said no, I'm not going to divorce my wife

00:42:46 --> 00:42:49

and I will do nothing but respect and love for you.

00:42:52 --> 00:43:04

What if she asked you to cut religion with your brother? I'm not going to do that. What if she asked you to be back to your father or vice versa your father cut your mom especially in case of divorce? No.

00:43:06 --> 00:43:06


00:43:08 --> 00:43:09

So here

00:43:11 --> 00:43:12

also what about

00:43:14 --> 00:43:23

if you have is it considered a book if you ask for financial rights

00:43:27 --> 00:43:30

let's say up his father

00:43:31 --> 00:43:32

asked him

00:43:33 --> 00:43:43

over Waleed Okay, your father said to you, you know what? I wanted to do me this work.

00:43:44 --> 00:43:49

Let's say well, he is Mashallah. He is very good in painting.

00:43:51 --> 00:43:55

Okay, so his father hire him to paint this wall for $500

00:43:57 --> 00:44:00

after you did the job is am I gonna pay you anything?

00:44:02 --> 00:44:04

Can he go to the court

00:44:05 --> 00:44:06

and ask for this money.

00:44:12 --> 00:44:14

He inherited the money.

00:44:15 --> 00:44:21

His father said I'm not going to give you the money that you inherited. He blocked that his financial rights

00:44:26 --> 00:44:27


00:44:33 --> 00:44:34

Can he ask for?

00:44:36 --> 00:44:37

Some elements said yes.

00:44:39 --> 00:44:49

And the built in he said that and he said because there is a man came to the process on them and he said jasola in the average family. My father took my money

00:44:52 --> 00:44:58

and I want you to I want like this is what is this is the center he took it took from my money.

00:45:00 --> 00:45:02

You and what you possess belong to your father.

00:45:04 --> 00:45:12

You can't you're not gonna you're not gonna sue him in the court. But it will please it initially did not consider that question from the person.

00:45:14 --> 00:45:51

And I disagree with that. I think if the case if your father, let's say didn't give you right, I think you should be, you should ask for. He said, May Allah forgive him, I think that's part of, you know, that's between him and Allah Spano Tata and you just pull back I would not ever support the idea that you go sue him or go to the court also does not correct when you can respectfully deny making business with your father, if you know he's not going to kind of person who's going to pay you, you know, respectfully say to that, or you don't do it for money.

00:45:52 --> 00:45:52


00:45:54 --> 00:46:07

some of the early America mom, a lot, son and others said it's not a pool, if you go to the judge and you ask for settlement by hand, it also is forbidding you from

00:46:10 --> 00:46:18

not fulfilling the rights of people. Because that is said manner. You don't give people what they deserve their views.

00:46:20 --> 00:46:28

is not right. If my the time comes to pay my debt back, you should give him I should not chase you. That's how wrong based on

00:46:30 --> 00:46:39

my rights to be giving my motto, I don't need to chase you. I'm an employee, I need to be paid. I don't need to chase you for that.

00:46:41 --> 00:46:44

And you should not prevent people from their views from the rights.

00:46:46 --> 00:46:46

You know,

00:46:48 --> 00:46:55

you made a promise to your wife, you made a promise your husband, your children, not giving them their views is hot, minute.

00:46:58 --> 00:47:08

So also sometimes, okay, your wife, for example, every month she get this amount of money from you. And you start like making it like, you know, she's begging for it.

00:47:11 --> 00:47:12

If that's her right, should be fulfilled.

00:47:18 --> 00:47:28

But if you prevent something is not obligations on you. Somebody asked me for help. I didn't give them charity, not sin.

00:47:30 --> 00:47:34

Because it's I'm not obligated to give you charity.

00:47:37 --> 00:48:12

But if my father or my wife or my kids need the money, that's the right and they haven't I should give anyway, we will stop here because there is more to talk and there is more any real examples alive, I would like to share inshallah next week about this hadith. And also, I will talk a little bit about what will be not bearing the daughters. They used to bury their daughters alive. And how today in China and India, that is some practices, you know, used to be done much better, especially in China

00:48:14 --> 00:48:27

these days, but that is similar ideas when they have a girl, they just get rid of the girl immediately and the Sultan will kill it, you know, out of a lab because they don't want to have a car, especially when when they had the one child policy.

00:48:29 --> 00:48:44

There is also something similar to that in India as well. And this shows making specifically that a woman two daughters is a bad thing. And some people people will make

00:48:45 --> 00:48:57

extra effort to be extra nice to their sons but not to the daughters. And that's just wrong. We'll talk about empty talks and talks to us about beneficials and, you know,

00:48:59 --> 00:49:13

related other people's stories and the world talk about wasting money and how today's money is wasted. What are the areas that we see people waste their money the most? So there's a lot of interesting points. We'll be covering Sharla next week.

00:49:15 --> 00:49:16

Hopefully inshallah we'll be

00:49:18 --> 00:49:26

able to cover some losses. If anybody had a question or a comment. You're more than welcome. Before we call for the day for the night.

00:49:29 --> 00:49:29


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