» Earn on-going rewards and help us do more! «

Heroes – How did Br Abdullah defeat pornography

share this pageShare Page
Wael Ibrahim

Channel: Wael Ibrahim

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:01:07--> 00:01:19

So a sound icon to everyone who is watching us live in sha Allah Tala, we will begin our conversation very soon in sha Allah just we're waiting for some people to join us

00:01:26--> 00:01:30

said I'm on a commercial I can read your comments here. Amina

00:01:33--> 00:01:48

Mooji bade I hope I pronounced it correctly. So keep sharing inshallah the link until we begin our conversation. I'm also sharing the link with other circles, so that we can inshallah bring more benefits

00:01:49--> 00:01:51

to the discussion show.

00:02:09--> 00:02:13

While I consult our La Habra care to Bukhari?

00:02:23--> 00:02:23

Excuse me

00:02:38--> 00:02:53

sorry, Joe walaikum salam ala banglori people, Alan, Alan, welcome. Thank you so much for coming, guys. And please share the link if you could share the streaming link so that we can benefit as many people as possible. Does that qualify?

00:02:56--> 00:03:02

Maybe brother up the life you can mute your mic for a minute. And then Allah wants to begin the discussion I'll ask you to open it.

00:03:13--> 00:03:18

Insano Adam, thank you what is impressive, what is so impressive?

00:03:19--> 00:03:39

Let us hear from you guys. What is so impressive about it, and in sha Allah to Allah, if you could do us a favor and start sharing the link, so sharing the link with others so that we can benefit as many people as we can, these events usually don't happen much. Because many people are

00:03:41--> 00:04:26

worried about coming to light and sharing such vivid experience that is considered to be taboo in our community in our society. So this something really doesn't happen frequently. So I hope and I pray that we will keep sharing the link to reach as many people as possible so, so that we can benefit Inshallah, because the plague that we discuss, and that is porn addiction has not left anyone any home without impacting so we wanted to share the benefit the insights of how some people have gone through this experience and how they were able to beat up their addiction successfully challenged sokola Hi Amber they are home from Bangladesh.

00:04:28--> 00:04:59

Mahi Philippines Zamboanga masala missing someone got a lot and I hope and I pray that we will inshallah one day reunite with the people of Zamboanga. Alright, keep sharing please keep sharing the link with others invite people to attend. And without further delay, I'd like to begin officially the interview. Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah salam ala Salem. Thanks to everyone who responded to the invitation especially brother Abdullah.

00:05:00--> 00:05:07

who will be with us in a minute in sha Allah. This is part of a series that was initiated by the Academy

00:05:08--> 00:05:37

to invite people who have gone through the experience of porn addiction, join our recovery programs, and were able, in a span of time, short or long to beat up their addiction, and live a life of freedom, live a life of potential success, and live really the life that they have always wanted. And today we have a brother. I'm not sure brother, there is a distortion coming from your side when you open the microphone. Can Can we fix that if you don't mind?

00:05:39--> 00:05:41

So this kind of distortion coming?

00:05:42--> 00:05:47

Yeah, if you could just just try to ensure that the cable is connected properly.

00:05:49--> 00:06:34

So Brother biller is one of our brothers and one of our clients who joined the critical alignment model those who are unfamiliar with critical alignment model is one of the most successful programs that we have conducted to help those who are consumed, addicted and impacted by the plague of pornography. And Hamdulillah. Today, he responded to our invitation to come to light, masha Allah robotic Allah, even though his image will not be shown for of course, a respected and private treason, but at least he will be with us in sha Allah through His audio to share his experience. Thank you. This is the first time I'm watching Jack Ma fan for coming. Bangladesh. Masato Monica LA,

00:06:34--> 00:06:39

many people from Bangladesh, Monica Alaikum salaam from Zamboanga as well.

00:06:40--> 00:06:53

Thank you guys for coming. We really appreciate it. But we even appreciate you more if you could share the link. The live link with everyone that you know, without further ado, let me welcome brother so I can brother.

00:07:01--> 00:07:05

Know, can you hear me now? Now I can. How are you?

00:07:06--> 00:07:07

I'm fine. Thanks.

00:07:09--> 00:07:46

Sorry. Alhamdulillah. Thank you so much, brother, Abdullah, for coming. We really appreciate your courage. We really appreciate your bravery to come, you know, in front of everyone and share such a difficult experience. So we really think this and I wanted to begin that immediately inshallah by asking, give us a brief background of how did you end up where you were. So how did you end up being really consumed by pornography? What was the major trigger that pulled you into years of addiction? Bismillah

00:07:50--> 00:08:11

R Rahman Rahim, thank you very much for inviting me to this interview. I'm very glad to share my information help those who have been addicted to this direction. So we'll start with by a brief history of my addiction. As I was 11 years old, I was hooked up to this addictions like now I'm 21 years old. So from the last seven

00:08:12--> 00:08:43

or eight years, like the more than eight years, I've been addicted to this addiction. So it was started in my high schools when I was with my friends and I was engaged in this addiction from the last modern cell seven or eight years. And I've been struggling all the from last three years is one of the addictions which which, which I've just eaten, my which before, like it was a taking out my mental energy, it was physical energy.

00:08:44--> 00:08:57

The kind of addiction which no one can see it. It's not like other addictions. So it you you have to you it will kill you inside. So what it does to me the same and also I'm sure that that thing, the same thing to other people also.

00:08:58--> 00:09:10

It started with my friends like I was in school with my friends who I was talking a little bit a little bit, but the time when you start when there is not much not. There is no knowledge in that case. So you can

00:09:11--> 00:09:48

start directly without loving the knowledge. So you think it's better. But the time you started when you end up so struggling every like from the last eight years, it's it's, of course one of the bad diseases in the in all the addictions. You know, you mentioned two things that I wanted to comment on. If you don't mind. You mentioned that you you got you got into this practice when you're 11 years of age, so young, and many aces. Many people think that addiction usually of that type. porn addiction usually happens when people reach

00:09:49--> 00:10:00

enough old age stand about sexual intimacy. But many people aren't aware that actually big segment or big portion of the

00:10:00--> 00:10:16

With assumptions pornography, shared by many kids as young as seven, eight year old, what was the first exposure look like? How were How did you receive that shock when you sold these images? How was your reaction?

00:10:17--> 00:11:08

The first time it was just the friends are my classmates they will doing this actual when I was just the time it was like, the brain when the brain is new, like is new to develop. So my brain was like, just I have experienced something very different at the time. Like, when I just saw I haven't seen my whole life something like that, when the first time I see something and I just My mind was full there. Suddenly, all my minds was just like, Yes, this is good. Like this is what the mind was thinking. The first time when I see this, the My minds reaction distractions. It was just out of out of control, like because even the time I had in the knowledge of what is the how would they want to

00:11:08--> 00:11:27

they don't anything's in the same mean. And they before because the knowledge was not that much the brain was like, just like, all I wanted to take even the first time it was my all the brain focusing thing. We'll just do it. I didn't know whether it's wrong, but I was thinking yeah, this is the thing. This was my mind that time I was thinking.

00:11:28--> 00:11:34

And brother also one of the things that you mentioned about the addiction that no one sees

00:11:35--> 00:12:23

this is something stopped me for a while while you're talking because if you're addicted to cocaine or heroin people would notice because you will get sicker your body will become ill and so on. But many people aren't aware of impact the inner impact and the inner struggle of porn addicts because there is no like physical symptoms that that the outside world can actually observe. And now saying that you said you're you're about eight or nine years addicted to pornography. What were the most devastating impacts that were haunting you every time you slip every time you relapse and go back to your practice what was the most the severest of all these negative impacts that you have

00:12:23--> 00:12:24

experienced?

00:12:26--> 00:12:27

One of the most

00:12:28--> 00:13:14

bad experience that I have taken from this in the shop that I took in this was just like my mind was totally is been disrupted to didn't totally even like you're you're just like you are a main but you have hopes you have everything but it's there is something not letting you to do the one of the major part it's damaging it physically everything is my mind that was just totally damaged like boy whenever I my thoughts my actions all this been damaged by this thing so my mind is totally been damaged from the knowledge I haven't had before so because of that also in all this the damage that cost to my mind is just extraordinary. This too much like with

00:13:17--> 00:13:18

on the second one

00:13:19--> 00:13:24

before like when I was addicted to this Yes, I was always

00:13:25--> 00:13:36

losing my weight and more like these things. And also the focus you I remember when we were talking during the program, you said like your level of focus, you couldn't study you couldn't sleep

00:13:41--> 00:13:49

go ahead, there is there is like all there is all the other factors like the main one was my brain my physical so

00:13:50--> 00:13:55

from low focus, like I haven't been focusing.

00:13:57--> 00:14:04

Now a student also is my student I cannot I cannot I can focus very well on my study, I can focus

00:14:05--> 00:14:58

on my works on responsibility I had in in the sleep or I couldn't sleep well I just I was sleeping for one hour and that was not like I were having I was feeling like having sleeps and I didn't want it my sleep in the tiredness every time I was feeling the days was too much the tiredness that the low focus is not able to eat healthy foods and even not able to eat food at least like I wasn't my body wasn't they didn't want food anymore. Like just what was just to be alone. They said this was my body was feeling. Wow. And brother at one point you decided and someone who was that person? And what was the reaction of that person? And how you cope. How did you develop that courage to actually

00:14:58--> 00:14:59

inform that someone

00:15:01--> 00:15:05

Start with this the first time when I

00:15:06--> 00:15:55

tried really to change at the time was in 2017 day time I change a country so I moved to a new country and that was the start of everything the first time I was watching a YouTube video of move the link in that video there was a linked the email was you there was your email share quite a Brian so I just the first time I emailed you and that was my first time I have even had a new because lack of my oldest was addiction rates and addiction. The time I sending you an email in Ambala you just after some few hours you just answered my email and you have provided me that was the tips in the way you have worded the way you give the energy for the first time. I will never forget that one and

00:15:55--> 00:16:39

I have standard image screenshot with myself. I have it myself. And it was very kind I was feeling like yeah, you see these people are out there for helping us in I didn't knew how much better it was a bad news validation they enable you said some very bad directions to you provide me to how to cope with this addiction. So time date steps, it was thought journey from date time and I was like yes there is therapy bus with generous people who are trying to help us. This I received from you in what took my how long to be able to do this. And we have so many people from different parts of the world that Hamdulillah we have people from the Philippines, few from Bangladesh from Pakistan,

00:16:39--> 00:16:49

Philippines and, and elsewhere, I'm sure and I can't read all them. Some people say Where are you coming to biryani land that's Pakistan, sha Allah so July

00:16:50--> 00:17:19

and they wanted to hear from you brother up Did you tell anyone other than me like you came to me by email and then we got into the coaching program and a new muscle you put a lot of effort and this is something I wanted to inform the audience out there those who are watching us that even though Hamdulillah we have experience in helping people in this area, but without the effort put by the clients themselves, but the people are impacted the most

00:17:20--> 00:18:08

nothing would be resolved. So unless you really be committed to these activities to these tips and tricks, you will not be able to cope with the heaviness of triggers with the heaviness or the symptoms that sometimes it's explained by people that Subhanallah the withdrawal symptoms of these of this addictive you know behavior is so severe to an extent that as you have heard the brother saying that he would lose sleep he would lose even appetite to the same the very food this survival you know, in this world so they wanted to hear from you. If you have told someone else other than me as a coach, did you reach out someone else to express your agony to express your problem with

00:18:11--> 00:18:35

the first like before four years like as of the Father and share anything's from the last few years I haven't shared anything before last year I didn't share anything with anyone except you it was you're the first person and who know migrations secret. Often date I was keeping failing failing failing in different time trying and failing trying and failing. But after it

00:18:37--> 00:19:19

even I read the book and I still try salad to go on myself but I couldn't even after I take a private class today it was the time I really understand yes, the mistake I'm doing in keeping fighting is this one is messy. I have to keep tell the secret to someone who I trust him and he can help me get out of it off the date. I took a class from United recently on the last week was finished I decided to share my secret in that guy's tell he helping me every time in asking me every time he's making sure that I'm doing well. So how I'm doing what I'm doing even when I'm my mood is off that guy is calling me come we can have a coffee outside we can have a good swimming like these

00:19:19--> 00:19:59

different activities trying to do it means this this is that guy's really the end even I'm calling all the who are addicted this addiction. This without keeping the secret someone who tried to trust you and that can help you 100 person that all the things is the most important is that you have to keep tell the secret someone who is trusting you will help you 100% This the main part of this selection also is one of the most important part. So panel lights. You know, it is also an Islamic advice so forget about addiction. It's an Islamic advice given by the Prophet Muhammad wa sallam given in the Quran that we should stick to it.

00:20:00--> 00:20:41

righteous company righteous friends who remember Allah subhanaw taala often day and night, even a lot of analysis and certain craft, that you don't even let your eyes stray away from those good people, stick with them because the more you surround yourself with good righteous friends, most likely you will behave like them you like you behave like them, you'd become righteous, you'd become a better human beings. And so the Prophet Muhammad SAW some said, a lot of leader, a person is inclined to follow the religion, the way of life of his friend. So always be careful who your friends are. And don't ever hesitate filter those friends, if they're inviting you to choose,

00:20:42--> 00:21:20

displeased by Allah subhanaw taala. Very good point and very good tip now, because I don't want to make this interview long. I want to, you know, the most important elements that brought you out of this misery into Alhamdulillah, according to your testimony, into the life of sobriety, productivity, enter clarity on two things, two final questions and some of them for me, what is the one tip, which you mentioned earlier, by the way, like you mentioned, having good accountability partner, friend who cares is one of the most important tips for recovery to happen.

00:21:21--> 00:21:43

What else do you think was the main contributor to your recovery? Give us another tip, which you believe it was very important to put into action that generated those new activities and generated on the long run your recovery inshallah so this the one question and then another one, then we'll end the interview inshallah.

00:21:46--> 00:22:28

To answer this question, there is like for myself, there is three best tips I had was to everyone that it worked for me also, but maybe it's different, but for work, for me, it worked very well. The first one is the accountability partner, which very much important is very important is, as I mentioned, in the second one I would like to is the being productive all the time is, is the best solution to this addiction, being productive, being productive in studying being productive in working, being productive in your daily habits. This this this there is a book like the book die repeated, they did book contain all the give more information, detailed information about this being

00:22:28--> 00:22:29

productive.

00:22:30--> 00:23:19

The last one is to is to just reach out to a coach professional, who have been working who have experienced in keeping the addict giving him advice is this important because they they make the victors the people who are struggling to run, to run in the path, they act like they're pushing in turn, when they just push, then the rest is your activities they're trying to push you did this the last tip, I'm going to tell you, I guess that that reaching out to coaches and being productive is the most important thing, we just want to make very things very clear that the main purpose of these interviews not to, you know, bring people to the work Academy and to join classes or paid programs,

00:23:19--> 00:24:02

but rather, to show them that it is absolutely possible. For people who have been addicted for years to come out from this maze, and live the life that you've always wanted, they've always desired. So if you are one of those examples, and we're very, very proud of you, we we have observed throughout the time that you worked with us that you are committed. And I think in my opinion, on top of these three tips that you gave one of the one of the one of them, by the way about productivity, if you remember we said the two P's never met, right? Productivity and pornography they never meet in one place. Once you productive, you kill the habit of or you kill the addiction to pornography. But once

00:24:02--> 00:24:07

you're on porn, you will never become productive, you will never achieve any anything.

00:24:08--> 00:24:59

So this is my favorite. But actually on the top of these tips is the commitment, the commitment, the will of the individual. If you're not, if you're not, you know committed to continue the journey, no matter how many relapses you have experienced. Yeah, no matter how many setbacks you have seen in this journey, then you will always remain stuck in that cycle. So you have to have that energy and spirit to keep fighting until the end, which we have seen you bla bla bla doing. Final question, Inshallah, if you don't mind, my dear brother, a sincere or sincere advice to those people out there who have or maybe you're we're still in this cycle of addiction and are afraid to reach out for

00:24:59--> 00:25:00

help.

00:25:00--> 00:25:24

Whether to a professional coach, like you mentioned, or to a dear wife, or to a dear mother, a dear father, ideas, sincere, trusted friend. What, what would be the most valuable advice you give those people who are still thinking that one day they will recover on their own just magically without any help from the outsiders? What would be the advice for them?

00:25:27--> 00:26:11

That asked this question like, why? Our advice like this, I am, from my experience, I was addicted before like just this addiction. I've been working by myself for the last four years, five years by myself in the desert is nothing this failing of the failing failing, failing, failing this, the reason I got this, it will never work to anyone's the most important part I will be shut up, don't worry about I was there was worrying about the same thing that maybe they will show the other kind of reactions, but no, if you have a trusted friends trusted coach anyone, so you can trust them, and you can share the problems with them, they will 100% help you and this will work and the person is

00:26:11--> 00:26:54

to work this if without having an accountability partner. without having anyone who can count on you who can help trying to help you, you cannot succeed. This is what I gained experience from the last five years, I, I say that we'll do this time next time, next time, we'll get it. But it's there is no reason for this, if anyone is trying this, they should have 100%, an accountability partner, someone who can help them out of this addiction for the rest of for at least more than one year, two years, like they should keep this kind of friends with him. So once upon a law, we have seen people brother coming to us after 20 years, 25 years into this practice. And every year they would say next

00:26:54--> 00:27:18

year, we will get rid of it, we will get married and then we'll be okay, we do this and then we'll be okay. And they found themselves just wasted 2025 years of their lives into that same cycle. Why? Because they were afraid or ashamed to seek help. We thank you so much, brother, Abdullah, once again, for your bravery, for your courage for your time.

00:27:19--> 00:27:59

You know, it's very difficult for anyone to come to 1000s of people perhaps who will see this video and say that what I was introduced and had to learn now, I've taken a step forward to, to beat up this addiction. And I did it. And you too can So may Allah make in the scale of your good deeds. I've seen a lot of masala positive comments on the Facebook page. We thank you so much from the bottom of our hearts. And we thank the people who have joined us live. And we ask the people who are still live, please share the link so that people maybe later on can watch the recording. Just come Lohan brother Abalones. Again, any final words you wanna you want to leave us with?

00:28:00--> 00:28:08

Thank you very much, sir, for all the DIS kind of programs, you're providing it, it's very beneficial. And we're thankful for it. And I'm

00:28:09--> 00:28:54

like, I'm really glad to share my experience in this elections. And I hope all the people who have been addicted, they didn't just get rid of this kind of addiction problems. And thank you very much. Again, I'm very glad to add this. We're glad and very thankful for your time and for your you know, for your beautiful story and for sharing this secretive issue that you went through for years. So it's really our duty. Thank you for this. Once again, brothers and sisters, this was heroes a new initiative, and we are reaching out to anyone who perhaps have a similar story. Not necessarily work with me or with our academy doesn't matter. This is not what we are here for we are here for

00:28:55--> 00:29:38

educate, raising awareness of this evil. So anyone who had similar experience, gone through addiction to pornography, worked out a way out of misery and became sober became productive became successful. We would love to meet you, we would love to get in touch too. If you have a story like that to share and you you'd like to come on our program and share your story and share some insights to benefit others. Remember that the prophets Allah said, the one who guide others to goodness will gain the reward of that same goodness if it is performed to perhaps someone out there who listen now to Brother law and decided to take that same path and to break free from porn addiction. All the

00:29:38--> 00:29:59

reward of that person would be in the scale in the good scale of brotherhood. Just because he took that courageous step to share his story. So you have a story of that time and you wanted to come on heroes on our platform to share it with the rest of the world in sha Allah then please send us a private message or an email to info at aware Academy

00:30:00--> 00:30:20

dot com.au info at away academy.com.au And we will make the arrangement to bring this interview to light just like Mullah Hara once again thank you so much as salaam alaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh we're signing off in sha Allah. See you soon in the light Allah and another interview Salaam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh