Rulings for Women in Iddah (Waiting Period)
Channel: Umm Jamaal ud-Din
File Size: 59.20MB
Welcome back to the program. This is the sunset expedition on a lovely Saturday evening with myself for HANA Raji Khan, keeping your company as always,
yes, indeed, the topic for this evening, as I introduced earlier, is on it. And I'm not going to keep you, I would say in suspense any longer because I've got the wonderful and esteemed sheher. I'm Jim Martin, all the way from Australia. That's joining me this evening, talking about this wonderful topic. I would say I wouldn't say wonderful, but I would say it's a very interesting topic because it's affecting so many of our sisters today. And of course, I think we need lots and lots of insight on this particular one. So the reason why I've asked her showhome jamaludin to join me this evening was because of her knowledge. I would say that, you know, the fact that she's got a BA in fic and
also Elphick from Almudena International University. And she's also been a teacher of both Quran and various Islamic Sciences at the masjid as a sunnah in Sydney for more than 14 years. I just found that you know, she's really emotional and knowledgeable and educated enough to discuss this with our sisters. Firstly, you know, from an Islamic point of view, but also from an emotional point of view because she's also a sister and many of our sisters currently going through the period be it's because of divorce or you know Tilak or due to the fact that a spouse has passed away so therefore Shekhar I'm gonna go I'm not going to do you know, I don't like to do long in you know,
introductions. I prefer to ask the questions Inshallah, that I would like to welcome our wonderful esteemed guests, check out on jamaludin Assalamualaikum Welcome to the sands of Expedition. Wa alaykum wa Salam wa Rahmatullah KatSo it's an honor to be here. Just like you're here for inviting me along. My first time to connect with my sisters and brothers in South Africa. So a big salam from Australia inshallah.
So, I gotta tell you, Shaka that I always play most of your lectures. And I simply love it, I can't delay you, I find find you're so motivational So, and many of our sisters as well, they really love your lectures, you know, especially I think, for me, I've noticed, and I've realized that I be, perhaps a bit of a low day, and I'll be listening to a lecture of yours, and it will just give me some sort of message in there. And I'll be like, Alhamdulillah this is the message that I needed today.
Exactly, looking for your feedback, it helps me also to know that to you know, keep myself motivated to keep putting out content because I get quite caught up sometimes with everything going on, you know, offline. And so, it helps me to, you know, realize that I do have to keep, you know, that in mind and Shama.
Hmm. All right. So, you tell us a little bit about yourself first, you know, I know that you've got a vast, very interesting background is well 100 Regards to your journey, but first and foremost, you know, tell us a little bit about your studying and I know you're currently studying as well so maybe a little bit about that and then we'll start off with your journey inshallah. Sure, Inshallah, vis now and hamdu lillah wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah Allah Allah He was so happy one no Allah. So Alhamdulillah I mean for the light to Allah, look.
Basically, I've been since I you know, I'm also a revert to Islam. So since I reverted to Islam, I've basically been a very, very passionate about seeking knowledge. I've taken the path of Quran, Quranic sciences, I've also taken the path of Arabic and
I've also gone in the path of a pita. And
I've also gone the path of film, and my latest passion has been sword. So um, basically, you know, I graduated a couple of years ago now
from a degree in Filipino sword and I'm currently doing my Masters handling or sword.
So that's but you know, as I said, it's been a very long stretched out
my journey, and hamdulillah Yep.
Hamdulillah I know you well known is not yet a public speaker as well.
Yeah, like so that see, besides the academic side, so I really enjoy the academic side and I'm very passionate about my teaching. So I have a lot of classes here. I teach about, you know, four days a week. I
So I have Quran classes, I have *ty art classes. But what I do love as well is doing the public speaking. So I'm really into motivational
speeches whenever I can get them in
that sort of, because of COVID, I found that everything just because obviously, I used to give a lot of local talks, and you know, I would go to events, I'd be asked to give talks and events here in Sydney, you know, Sydney, Melbourne, you know, around Australia, or sometimes even international ones. So I've traveled to those. But then with COVID, you know, all the travels come to a halt. So I found this was a handler, the perfect window to kind of really knuckle down and focus
more on my studies for now and build myself up further up being laid to Allah until we open up again. And, Shawn, let me get back on the road of getting more into the dour again, you know?
Yes, yes. And I think COVID has really
would say challenge to many people. And also I would say, it made us realize that no, we probably just need to change a little bit, you know, when it comes to focus, and then adapt. So it's made people adapt, I would say around the world. So we I think that what you all are doing currently, which is adapting, which is, I think, you know, we, we've realized that we can, and we will Inshallah, you've also got a BA is it in a you know, in Arabic, that's correct, like, so what I did, because I knew I wanted to go deep into some acknowledge, and the only way to really do that is through, you have to learn Arabic, because you want to be connected to all the, you know, original
sources, and you want to be connected to the island that. So that's why I you know, I did try to start like, it's very hard to actually study like both the countries I went to, originally, there really wasn't any solid Arabic programs. And I ended up although I tried to learn Arabic, where I was, but I found that ironically, I found that the university right here in the middle of Sydney was actually having an Arabic program. So I studied Arabic and bilingualism and second and second language acquisition, you know, so basically, we read linguistics there.
But yeah, I did my degree, basically, in the Bachelor of Arts languages major in Arabic. So I did that first. And I and that helped me to really get enough Arabic to enable enable me to start, like, you know, being able to sort of connect, you know, and understand what, you know, that, like, for example, the, the knowledge from the scholars and stuff like that,
from the Rila, you know, I've got to tell you, hats off to you because
of a bit that you've accomplished and achieved so much. Especially, you know, even the beautiful language, Arabic, it's been, I'll be honest, I, I've always wanted to learn Arabic. And I just thought, you know, it's so difficult. It is a challenge to learn Arabic.
You to be able to speak and to be able to teach as well, and, and communicate with students as well, from from, you know, Saudi Arabia and other countries in Arabic, wonderful. Alhamdulillah Hamdulillah. Okay. Is there anything else that you'd like to share with us, as part of your journey? The topic?
Well, what I can say is, you have to understand that, for anyone who's not an Arabic speaker, it is a very long journey, you have to be very patient. It's taken me absolutely years. And it's not like, even though I finished my degree, it wasn't like I was perfect in Arabic or anything like that. So I've kept developing it, I started translating, you know, from, you know, translating Arabic.
You know, say Arabic speeches and stuff like that into English. And, you know, building that up, you know what I mean? So it's a very, very long journey. So I just want people to have a realistic idea.
Definitely not from the real. So I've got to ask you one question before we start, what actually motivates you?
Yeah, that's a good question.
Look, I think so if you're talking about what motivated me initially, to get on the path of knowledge, I think the first thing that motivated me was
being a revert. I knew how vulnerable I felt
like when I first reverted I was actually living at home my parents like my dad's actually a preacher, Christian lay preacher. And I was living at home still, when I first reverted I was, you know, going to university I was working full time and I was not in any like, I didn't really have any Muslims around me, you know. So you can imagine that when you first revert people are all questioning you why, you know, why would you do that and sort of throwing things at you about Islam, and if you don't, basically I've found that it's like a sink or swim situation if you don't really reach out and get that help by, you know, seeking knowledge
just seeking out the facts, then you can easily just sink, you're not I mean, you would just drown in all that, those doubts they're trying to put in your heart. So, I think that initially, I could say that seeking knowledge was basically a matter of survival.
And I found that, you know, if if I was, you know, if I wanted to have peace of mind, and not get confused with all the different issues that were being thrown at me, I realized that, you know, I really needed to gain as much knowledge as I could and see, so you've got the initial phase of, you know, your family, your acquaintances, sort of not accepting your change. And as I said, bring up all these different stereotypes about Islam and stuff, you know, so you had to get enough knowledge to be able to survive that. But then, even as a Muslim once you get into Islam, you know, as we all know, there's all different groups and people telling you, this is the right way, and this is the
wrong way. And you know, that can be quite confusing to so I found the only way to get real peace of mind was through seeking knowledge, and I just really want and I decided that, you know, I don't want anyone to interpret this for me, I actually want to go to the sources and find out for myself.
And so, I found that, that, you know, and handily, like, the sense of, you could say,
you know, your pain, ensure that you're getting your heart from that. It's very different than, you know, knowledge that you know,
worshipping Allah Subhana Allah and living as a Muslim, you know, upon knowledge is very different than just
you know, worshipping Allah Subhanallah based upon you know, what, say your family has taught you, you know, because you're basically you know, living your life and worshiping Allah upon upon begginer you know, what I mean upon evidence and,
and, and guidance, right.
Like for example, I'm just thinking about an iron the Quran right now there's an ad that says, oh, and then can I meet him for a year now who were joining Allah Who knew right yam she behave in NASCI karma method woohoo, feel blue Nomad, T laser Behati G minha. Right. So in this ayah Allah Tala, he says that, you know, is the one who was dead and we brought him to life and we gave him a light with which to see with, right, yes, Shiva he like he walks with amongst people with that norm, right with that light camera method. Whoo hoo, feel a little Mad Tea lady said you Holly G minha is not the one who's walking in the darkness.
SubhanAllah. So it's, that's what I find is the difference, you know, of seeking knowledge, I feel like, you know, it just gives you the syrup, you know, what those serum means? Like, you know, it just gives you foresight to be able to see things much more clearly. And you have to have that clarity. So that's what I found through seeking knowledge. But then, then I found like, I found my purpose in that, because I realized that you know, what, I'm not alone, everybody else wants the same thing, you know, so
I started to realize the value of teaching and passing that on and being able to give that clarity to others, you know, I saw the gift in that and, and then as I've gone further into it, you know, I've realized that, you know, subhanAllah, this is actually a path of like, a fad cafe, or, you know, like, a fad Cafe is when, you know, certain individuals of a community, we need to like, in order for the rest of the community to be basically absolved of the sin, there should be certain individuals who actually stand up and fulfill that particular manner, you know, fulfill that responsibility or, or that trust. We, we need to have certain individuals in every community who
who are a source of knowledge to the rest, you know, that people can resort to just like, we need to have doctors, we need to have specialist doctors. Similarly, we need to have, you know, specialists, people when it comes to knowledge, and especially women, we need to have the women because, as we all know, it's not always been easy for men to access knowledge. Sometimes it's barriers, you know, sometimes it's difficult to get hold of your Imam or your share or you know, so I do really see the purpose in you know, I never saw this purpose when I started out, I can tell you that wasn't, but it's become clearer and clearer to me as I've gone along this path. So I think the sweetness that I
get from Subhan Allah from seeking knowledge from the Quran, the closeness to the Quran, all this stuff, just it just really really unhandled level like even foggy later. It just really really motivates me
Subhanallah that is so wonderful. Humble. I know when you were just speaking nine explaining exactly your journey. It was as if I just visualized everything it must have been a challenge as well.
For you, when you when you you know how did you parents did when you first broken up to them you know we need to cover okay, this is what does
is my calling or this is what this is what I want to, you know, this is the path they want to choose. And, you know, especially your dad being also, I would say, well known in the community and a preacher as well. It it must have been. How was this? You know, like you mentioned, they didn't take it, I guess too well, but
I cannot imagine, you know, what you what you've been through, but are Hamdulillah you know, it's just again, once again, I think, for me,
this is where the I now draw the motivation and the strength from say that Subhanallah there's a sister that, you know, that the law has given the Hidayatullah has given you that, that that gift to say that sugar hamdulillah you've got now a chance to share so much more with so many sisters, so many brothers, even around the world. It's not just in your community. I'm talking worldwide. I mean, look at this, right here in South Africa. We've been, we've been listening to you for months, you know, I'm being serious, like really listening to you with links with your lectures and all of that. hamdulillah and now we actually have you on channeling some international, and
I can't believe it. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah I think for me, that is what I really wanted, first and foremost with your journey. How did you get here? Because it's amazing, you know, when I when I when I listen to you, and I you know, watch your YouTube videos as well.
I was like, just I was really blown away. I was really, really just taken aback. Alhamdulillah
one, one more thing, and then we will start inshallah with our, with our topic. Okay. How many years? Is it now that you are Subhanallah a Muslim? Oh, yeah. How long have you been Muslim full cabinet? Do my maths again.
So it's, it's about 31 years old actually. 32 years like that. 32 years. I think it's been now I'm hamdulillah Yeah.
And you've got obviously but a family or hamdulillah How many times do you have your Al Hamdulillah I've got your Mashallah. tubercle I've got I'm actually I've got five children Alhamdulillah. And my oldest son and handling them for the day he's also he's also an imam hamdulillah
not wonderful. Yeah, humbling. Medina university you know in Medina,
Chi Chi. So the panel
is hold on my youngest is 15
Grantham, good health insha Allah Amin and keep them, Mister keep them. I mean, just like him. Okay.
I mean, all right. So this will remind Rahim I know, it's been about 10 minutes left before we have to take our break. But I think we can start with the first question with our topic. What is it sister shot would use? Is it. Okay? So, look, basically what that is. It's basically a specific waiting period that a woman needs to observe upon divorce or the death of her husband, that's what I've that's the best way I can, you know, describe what there is a stipulated, you know, waiting period that Allahu Taala has, you know, commanded for men to observe upon with, you know, once the marriage has come to an end, or, you know, her husband has passed away.
Okay, now, the next question, you know, we I've been speaking to lots of systems,
sometimes along the way to get the better effect. And sometimes sisters will be like, This is so unfair, you know, why is it that we have to be sitting in it and manner you don't like the sisters that get divorced, and they'll be like, but they go on with their lives. And you have to sit in it that, you know, we have to sit this three months and
I want to ask you, sure, why do women observe the period? What is the what is the reason behind this? Yes, sure.
Okay, so basically, the wisdom. So you've got the wisdom behind it for divorce, and you've got the wisdom behind it for when the husband passes away, right.
And some of these crossover as well, but basically, in regards to the wisdom behind it, in the case of divorce, it's to give some time for reconciliation to take place between the two
Couple, all right, because it does give some time back the idea, which we'll come to in a while, behind the eight days, you know, normally what should be happening is, you know, the wife still staying with the husband in the home.
And, you know, subhanAllah, you can imagine that she's, you know, going through these, at least three months or so they're together. And
during this time, you know, they see each other every single day, she's doing her normal, normal, going about her normal life, pretty much normally. And after a while, he might start to regret, you know, what happened, and, you know, it gives you, it gives a chance for reconciliation, basically. Right. The other another reason also is to ensure that the womb is free from pregnancy from the previous husband, right? So it's to make is to take that, first of all have to see if there's any pregnancy that's taken place. But besides that, also, it's to give that break between, you know, having one husband, and then
if you're going to move on to a new relationship,
because you may want to marry someone after the it there is over life, if the husband doesn't take you back. So it's important to have that, you know,
basically to, you know, ensure that the womb is basically free from the effects of the previous marriage, we could say, right? So that's in the case of, like, basically divorce. And then in the case of the husband passing away,
it's also a time that's been set aside for her to grieve over her husband, right. And it's also that's a particular type of debt as well, because it's considered like as a mourning period. And that is out of the sanctity of the marriage contract, and also, out of the rights of the husband as well. So it's, it's got a bit more of it. It's, you know, and also they say, it's, it's an act of worship, consider that it's part of, you know, you're also you know, worshipping Allah Subhana. Allah, by, by by observing that, you know, because you, you do have to give up certain things when you observe the ADA for morning in particular.
No, no, definitely. So, shall I'm going to just tell you a little bit about myself as well. So I'm, I've been divorced, and I found the law, I'm really married now. SubhanAllah? And how so? Powerful as well. So you mentioned the the part, you know, when in the case of divorce, so the reason behind of course, the, the, the period? Or why do we make, right, and you've mentioned that sisters generally, you know, you still live in the same house, but obviously, in separate rooms, or whatever, and you still go about your day. And it's the time where, you know, we a couple could perhaps, think, or look at reconciliation. Now what happens in the case where couples, for example,
or the sister has to leave the home, you know, immediately when, when, you know, the situation has reached a point where it's really bad, and she's now left the home, and she's now observing it, perhaps, whether it's at her mom's or parents place, or not alone, or wherever, maybe her grandparents place wherever, and she's basically now separated from the home completely, and there is no form of contact whatsoever. So she's basically on her own during that period. And she's isolated herself, and now observing her either period.
Well, I just want to backtrack a bit. First, I just want to go through some of the rules on a diet and then inshallah we'll address that. Because I just want to make the topic really clear to everybody, right? So um, so first of all, let's just talk about how long is it the period first of all, right, so
as long as a woman still has menstrual cycles, then her ADA is going to be those three menstrual cycles, okay.
This is in the case of the ADA for divorce, that if she's not pregnant, and that's if she's not pregnant, okay, like there's an A on the Quran and sort of Baccarat, a law that says, well, Mukalla auto Ito robust newbie and fusina the left the tech guru, right. So it basically says that, you know, women who had been divorced, they wait in regards to themselves for three quarrel. And
anyway, in general, they speak in general because we have always those different opinion in different modality But basically, it's talking about the three menstrual cycles that she waits for, okay, she counts those three menstrual cycles. If she doesn't have menses anymore, that's when she reverts to counting three months, which will be the lunar month, right? She'll count the three lunar months. And if she's pregnant, then the DA or the you know, the waiting period for divorce is is until she gives birth. Okay, so that's just want to clarify that first.
Now, in regards to the specific specific rulings for a DA
if we're talking about a case where it's a reconcilable divorce right? Now, what do we mean by that? We mean when there's only been one or two divorces that have taken place. Okay, now normally let's talk about the default. Okay, before we talk about exceptions, so the default is that normally the wife should remain with her husband in the home, okay? And not going to stay anywhere else like her husband's house or anything like that. And an exception would be that she can't stay there because it's an abusive situation. For example, okay, she has an excuse why she has left the home but Jani normally she would. She needs to stay in that home. And also the other thing too, is the husband is
not allowed to make her leave the home and we can see with both sides here. There's a lot of there's a lot of things that Muslims are doing wrong today, right. A lot of it clearly says in the Quran, some Tanakh he says lead to rejuvenate. I mean Butina wala Yahiro Jana, Willa, Yakubu Jinnah, in a TW faqih Shetty. mobian. Alright. So, a lot on it tells them that they are not to leave like women are not to leave during this time of day death from the home, what I mean by that is going to stay somewhere else. Nor are their husbands allowed to just, you know, throw them out of their houses, basically, right. So we can see from both sides, a lot of wrong things people are doing like, you
know, now you find that, like there's a conflict in the marriage. And then the woman gets upset, for example. And then she just goes and says, Well, I'm just gonna go and stab my parents, you know what I mean? Or the husband says, I'm divorcing, you get out, you know, all the biller like so, this is,
you know, this is also adding to a lot of breakdowns, you know, because if you really study the way the Talaq takes place in Islam, it's actually a very gentle process. It's actually a very gentle process. And, and, of course, you know, Islam wants to keep, as much as possible wants to keep families together, you know, we don't want all this separation, but we all see how things are going, you know, in this day and age, you know,
so the idea is that, you know, that they're staying together, and no, they don't go and stay in separate rooms, no, they actually stay together, they can sleep in the same bed even. But the only thing that's not taking place is intimacy. Right, because they are still, they are still married, like, while they're in the dark, as long as it's only a first or second divorce, then they are still, like, it's still considered as, as marriage, you know, what I'm trying to say. So she should be exactly the same, she should, if she you know, wear makeup, do ahead, you know, cook, cook for a husband wears normal clothes, sleeping the same bird there's, and this, of course, he might be
angry, he might sit another bedroom, that's okay. But like, you understand, like, the idea is, you're, you're just going about everything. Normally, the only thing that's not happening is intimacy. If intimacy, you know, if the husband wants to be intimate, then he should have the intention to take her back. And, you know, in doing that intimacy would be considered that he's, he's, in most cases, the bit concerned that he's,
you know, taking her back, right. So that's, that's a lot of misconceptions that you can see,
with the editor, the way that a lot of people are conducting, and that's why, you know, we're finding that a lot of people, were they having some conflict, but because of the way that maybe conducting the actual diet, it's not even giving the family a chance to actually stay together, you know, but of course, there are those exceptions, definitely, you know, where, of course, you know, if a reason, if a woman has a genuine, you know, fear of remaining in that house, you know, she fears for herself her safety, then that's an excuse for her not to stay in the house. But you know, we have to all fear loss of mentality because we have to know, what is the default link that you're
not supposed to, you know, go out of the house, but of course, it's then does not ask you to put yourself in danger, either. You know what I mean? You know, it sounds a common sense religion, you don't I mean, it's not, it doesn't go against human nature, you know what I mean?
Now, in the case where a woman has been divorced three times, obviously, she cannot return back to her husband anymore. Or maybe she's taken Hola. Alright, so holla is that's an end to the marriage contract, okay. So they cannot, they can no longer go back to each other. And this is new marital contract, in the case of Hola. All right. So in such a case, what the school has mentioned is for example, if she was to if she was to stay in the house, she would have to be inserted in a completely separate place to the husband because we don't want any you know, we can't have any
they're not her love. You know, they're not allowed to be together and this well, in the case of hola they can have a new marital contract, but in the case of three divorces, you can't ever cook back unless you remarry.
And consumers that sick that second marriage, right?
So yeah, so that's why
either she, if she's if she was to stay in the house, it would have to be like basically completely separate because he can't say any more than allowed to be, you know, general transit, they can't see each other anything anymore. Or she can go and stay somewhere safe.
Or he, he could actually what school has mentioned is that he leaves the house,
you know, and she stays in the house during that time.
But anyway, look in relation to this. So just so people can understand. Now, obviously, generally speaking, again, we have the laugh, we have, you know, differences of opinion amongst scholars as to whether she is financially supported during this time, because they're completely divorced now.
But anyway, if we're taking the opinion that, you know, she's completely divorced from him,
then, you know, it's, it's perfectly fine for her to go about her needs, like if she has to go to work to support herself, if she has to take her kids to school, if she has to go buy things, you know, that she needs for the house, especially when she has no one else to do that for her. Right.
And to show you that this is allowed. I'm not just gonna say take it from me, you know, there's, you know, narration that mentions about Jabba Radi Allahu anhu, he mentions about how one of his Auntie's was divorced three times, right in the time of the prophets that Obama was sent him and she went out to prepare her date pumps. And another man saw her and told her off and said, What are you doing? You know, you've been divorced three times, what are you doing out here, you know, you shouldn't be doing that. And so basically, she went to the prophets that Allah when it was sent out, and she told him what happened. And so he told her go and prepare your date pumps, for perhaps you
may give some charity from them. Or, you know, you may perform some good deeds from it.
It's hard it shows us is that, especially in a case where a woman needs to support herself, you know, she's got no one to help her with her the things she needs to do, then it is allowed for her to go about her needs. And then of course, the other thing I just want to quickly mention too, during the entire period is that it's not allowed for her, you know, to obviously marry anyone during that time, or to, you know, accept a marriage proposal during the Edit because unfortunately, we have seen cases where women are in their egg dar and then actually remarried, you know, another husband, so loud in marriage isn't actually valid. You have to be completely free from your debt
before you can remarry.
can we just take a quick break and show up and then when we come back
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welcome back to the program. This is the sunset expedition with myself for HANA Raja Khan. If you've just joined us, we are talking about EDA this evening. And I've got a shaker on jamaludin All the way in Australia. So I'm welcome. Welcome back to the program Sr. One equals Sam with a capital.
Okay, so before we in for the outbreak, we were talking about some of the pertaining to the Edo period. And you mentioned, you know, when sister has to go out she has to perform her duties. But I do know there's a ruling as well that she has to be home, if I'm not mistaken. Is it before McRibs sunset.
So, as we were saying,
I just want to I think it's good for us. We've spoken about the default divorce. And I want to speak a little bit about the a default if the husband passes away, okay. Because this this day, in particular, is when she needs to, she needs to sleep in, like stay in husband's home. Okay.
So if you if you would like me to would you like me to go through the different rulings for the inter for when a woman passed like husbands passed away? Is it? I'll go through that now? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, sure. So, because when it comes to the default, you know, when the husband passed away, there's a number of actually special rulings that we need to observe during this time.
So first of all, in regards to the a DA for widow who isn't pregnant, right? The entire period here is four months and 10 days. Okay? So that's different for we spoke about when the you've got the default bollock default divorce. So okay, so it's four months and 10 days, it's not about menstrual cycles. It's only counting for months and 10 days. If she's pregnant, it's until she gives birth. Okay.
And that's clear in the Quran. Surah Baqarah. Like a lot Allah says, well Lavina you to what phone? I mean, come well, yeah, the owner has words and yet a robust snobby and fusina out of batter as surely wha Shah. So Allah Tala says
than those who, you know, pass away from amongst you, and you left behind wives that those wives should wait in regards to themselves for months and 10 days, right. Now, what are the rulings? None. Can I just while you're on that same that this particular one resistor is a thing? She's just found that that she's pregnant and unfortunately her husband has just passed away. Does she waits the entire duration of her pregnancy until she gives birth?
absolutely. And the thing is, the interesting thing is that even if you were like nine months pregnant and going to give birth tomorrow, and panel, a male protect us all from that, but our husband happened to pass away, you know, your ad only lasts for 24 hours.
Okay, you know what I mean, if you gave birth 24 hours after I mean, like, the point is that it lasts until you give birth. Okay, that's how it works when you're pregnant is whether it's the beginning of the pregnancy, or it's the end of the pregnancy, it's the same. So that's a really interesting things Panama about the data for Yeah, Subhan Allah. Okay, so I'm just gonna speak about some of the
sorry, sorry, math, if this has to has to, unfortunately, if she has to lose the baby, within that period of time, what happens in that case, there is going to depend on when she lost the baby. Okay, if she lost the baby, when it's already formed, then that's considered that she gave birth. Okay, but if it's not formed, then it's going to be considered as just like irregular bleeding. So she'll have to wait till she gets her menstrual menstrual cycles, and then she'll count the menstrual cycles. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Let's rewind. I forgot. No, she has to do the full month in 10 days, because we're talking about I was thinking with, you know, we're talking about when the
husband passes away. When it when the husband passes away, you don't count menstrual cycles, right. You do you do the four months and 10 days. So now she will revert. She will like from the time her husband passes away. She She waits for months and 10 days.
Okay, yeah, right. Yeah. But as I said, if she gives birth, you know, like as in the baby's formed somewhat, then if that's considered she's given birth and her it does over. Right. Yeah. Okay.
Okay. Okay. So yeah, so going back to the
that those special rulings that she needs to observe. So for example, okay, so this, these are the things you need to be careful with, right. So during this time, the woman actually needs to abstain from adorning herself. So you need to just only wear plain clothes. Like it's not about it's not about
what I say plain, it's not like you have to wear black or anything. But you know what, I mean, you don't wear decorated clothes, it's just you. The idea is to be very quiet during this time. You don't I mean, so you just got to
choose very plain and basic clothes. There should be no makeup. No jewelry or perfume, not even rings, not even not even earrings. Subhanallah okay, because it's actually a time of mourning, it's an actual, like I said, it's actually something that Allah has taught us, you know, asked us to do right.
You also wouldn't go and get your hair dyed or styled at this time. Now of course, you can have a shower, you know, of course you can brush your hair. You can make your house nice, it's not about your house or your house you can decorate you can you know put perfume on in your house like as in put incense or something but you yourself should not put perfume on you. Normally, you'd only go to Hajj or Umrah
to use perfume and all that. Yeah, so the same kind of thing. You need to avoid all that when you're in your ADA.
The other thing is that the again, the default here now is that she should remain in her husband's home during the time of the day, and she shouldn't leave and go and stay with anyone. Okay, this is even more different. It's even. There's even a greater difference than the other Internet book about photo doc. Here. It's she shouldn't go stay with a family or she should actually observe her a DA for the whole duration in her husband's home wherever that is if she was traveling, and she found that she should return to her home and you know, observe her. Now when we say that she needs to stay in her husband's home again. It doesn't mean she can't go out for her needs. Okay, now, you would
prefer to not go out. However, you don't always have someone to help you. Right
Right now you may even need to go to work to support yourself. So if you need to go to work or you know, you've got, you know, you normally attend uni or you know, you've got things that you need to do like this, you have needs,
just go to those needs and come back home quickly, you know what I mean?
That you do need to avoid doing things that could
attract anyone towards her for seeking marriage.
As much as possible, like I said, you know, try to avoid outside life as much as you can. But like I said, we all have different circumstances. So I mean, look, if possible, like I said, at the unit, it's better, it'd be better in that case to actually study online, which is, you it's quite possible. Now, it's much easier now to do that, during that time, if you can, you know what I mean, but sometimes you don't always have that option.
All right. Yes. Yeah. And so basically, during this time, the, the idea is, like, there'll be no should, you know, God, that her affairs quietly
avoid non Muslim men as much as possible, like, so. Like, someone's just asking me today, you know, non Muslims shouldn't be coming into your house to sit with you and stuff like that, you know, you need to be avoiding that interaction between non Muslims, of course, you might go the shop and deal with it on Macron. But you don't, I mean, you're trying to
go about your face quietly, and reduce interaction as much as possible, okay?
Now, you, it's okay for the widow to go. And, you know, for example, go and stay at her family's go stay with her family during the day, okay, she can go and sit with a friend, of course, a female friend, a female friend, or, you know, a
family members to get some comfort to get some changed for her mental health, you know, but when it comes to the night, and she wants to sleep, then she should only sleep in her home. Now, let me just give you a narration that backs up what I'm saying here. And this narration is regarding some of the Sahaba yet who they lost their husbands in the Battle of Oh, hood. And they came to the prophets that Allah when it was still in, and they told him how they were, you know, what they were doing is they were gathering together, during, you know, the just generally gathering together in order to comfort each other, you know, trying to stay together as much as they could. And they asked him
about that, you know, and he told them that that's okay for them to do that. But when one of them wants to sleep, they should go back to their home. So it's okay for them, you know, for these people, to seek solace with others. It's alright, to do that during your default, you know, when the husband passes away, but like I said,
when it comes to sleeping somewhere, you should, you know, sleep in your home, and there is the scholars do mention about, you know, avoiding going out at night and stuff like that, like, during the day, it's okay. But yes, after Marguerite, when it gets dark, this is the time to, you know, avoid going out and this, you really need to, like you need to go to the hospital or something like that, that's fine. But you don't I mean, like you, you try to avoid
going out at night. And then of course, if someone's going through, you know, their husbands passed away, there's nothing wrong with the, you know, the family members, for example, her daughter or her son, you know, going and staying over the night with her to keep her company, you know, so she's not alone. And we need to think a bit more about, you know, people who have lost someone, especially women who are going through the dark when they're mourning their husbands in the loss of their husband, we need to give them that support, you know, don't leave on their own and his time. Correct? Yes, that's what that was. The next part that I want you to highlight is anything else that
you want to maybe touch on the rulings and then we can move on the emotional aspect? Inshallah? Um, look, I think that that's the main things I wanted to speak about.
That's the main points, I think we need to basically focus on Yeah.
Right. Now, the part about the the, you know, the reason also, you know, we mentioned of course, you know, the few reasons as to why a sister has to sit in, in a debate whether she's into, you know, after the lack or whether she's lost her husband.
The emotional aspect of things, you know, we said, this is the part this is the time when she grieves, and this is the time when she, you know, has to basically heal herself. It's a healing process. Okay, so, let's talk a little bit about that part of it, inshallah. Yeah, sure. Look, I mean, subhanAllah whenever I've come to study all these rulings, I've just as much gentleness in it. There really is so much gentleness in it like Subhan Allah how Allah knows us better than ourselves. You know, a lot of times isn't shouldn't na LM woman Holika who are lovely for her beer. Right?
It does this is so powerful, it says, doesn't he know best that which he created and he is a lot leaf and hobby, like he is the most subtle and gentle. And he is the all aware, right? And we all know that women had been created differently than the males, right? Females are not like males, you know, females are different, you know, we, our emotional states are different, you know.
And I just see so much gentleness in how a lot of people are new,
you know, the impact of, of, you know, for women in particular, like, it's, it's a really big
process to go through, you know, May Allah help us all to deal with that, when that time comes, you know, of losing ones, especially if you, you can imagine a woman who has been with a husband her whole life, you know.
And so, like you said, it is a real healing process, that it really is, it's a time for you to reflect on the blessing of that marriage, like, not everybody has that blessing. Subhanallah like, and I ask a lot to bless everyone with, you know,
you know, righteous spouses Inshallah, because I know, it's, it's very hard to get that in this day and age, you know, but if anyone has been blessed with that, it really is something to reflect upon that blessing, you know, in thinking about that, at least you had that time, you know.
So I see a lot of healing in it. And,
you know, to be able to move on after that, it's, it is important to stay with something for a while, you know what I mean? I think if you even were to speak to psychologists, they'll tell you how, sometimes we try to force ourselves to move on from a misfortune or a heart, you know, something that's happened to us, but sometimes it's important for us to stay with it for a while and just process that, that what's happens, you know, and live with it for a while, in order for us to be able to actually move forward after that.
Absolutely. So yes, that is what I'm saying. So that that period of time, it's three months. So the three menstrual cycles when when one has gone through it the luck, or be it when one loses a spouse, and she's got to sit there for months and 10 days, that period of time. I know, obviously, circumstances are different when one goes through divorce, you know, a woman is going through different emotions at that time, you know, but she feels the different stages, I would say, you know, the anger and all of these things were eventually that the healing process takes place. And I've, again, speaking from experience, I've noticed with myself, what happened was, yes, that that
time, or that, that duration, during that, either, it's you going through these phases, and you're going through all these, all these, all of these emotions, and you allow yourself to Pro to process this, you allow yourself to feel the anger first you allow yourself to feel the grief, you allow yourself to then heal, you know, it's like the three, the three, three, basically the three months, it's when you finish, when you complete your EDA, it's like you've you've resolved reflected, you've, you come out, like different you've come out changed, you've actually learned something from there. And for me, that's something my personal experience or Hamdulillah. And it's like, you just
say to yourself Subhanallah you know, this is the reason why Allah has made it for women, is because we you know, we are created in such a way that we need that time, we need to grieve need to go through these processes. And again, I think for for sisters that have lost their husbands, it's a different process for them for that format and 10 days, it's their grieving because and again, the reasoning behind why I mean why it's not three months, and it's a longer period.
out again, there's wisdom behind it, because here's the widow that needs to grieve, perhaps she has a process is going to be a bit longer than one that has been divorced. And that extra time or she needs that extra connection now with Allah subhanaw taala where she is now finding herself she's, she's, you know, she needs to complete that that part of the journey and heal in order for her to continue in the world I would say but just speaking on that point, I know it just reminded me of something a friend of mine, actually old neighbor messaged me a few weeks ago and and I think that's also the reason why I was wanting to do this topic for from last year. And a few weeks ago, this
this neighbor, this little neighbor of mine messaged me and she told me that you know, has been passed away and I couldn't believe it because she moved away and things like that. And we we lost touch for a very long time. And I was I was shocked because he was
Very young friend. And Allah knows best but she's she's got now three children. And you know, again and I was talking to her and she said to me, you know, it's been so tough, she'd been alone. And, and she's had no support whatsoever. And really, it's just her three children now with her. And Alhamdulillah mentioned, you know, like her husband left the world, the business that he was running, it's now currently being run by her whatever she's got, obviously people that work for her, but she can't even go out often. She she goes in, like perhaps maybe once a week, or once in two weeks, just to keep an eye and just to check and whatnot.
It's difficult for her because for her, it was always just the two of them with the kids. You know, everything that she's done, was always with whether she wishes to be at home. She never knew about the business. She didn't know what to do.
When her taken care of everything. And then we passed away. It was like, okay, where does she started? What does she do now? She was landed with. So it was, again, I think she's she's actually just gotten out of her either right now. So,
again, the grieving process, but also the time when I think a woman has to put her order with regards to now. What am I going to do now? How do I support my family? So true? Yes.
Yes, all things need to be that's the time when I think she has to sit and really reflect and think okay, fine. What am I going to do? What's the way forward? What happens next? You know, after G.
Yes, yes. And also, I just want to highlight also in June, either period with with?
I don't know, you maybe you can just clarify this as well. I know that some
scholars, so I'm not too sure, again, the rulings maybe you can just highlight that for us. Is that during the Edo period where the husband needs to then pay sort of a maintenance or an amount for her? I don't know, for her to take care of herself. But then we eat that, I think only a ruling if she's not living in the house. Yeah, that's a good question. So look, if she's been divorced, once or twice.
So what's happening is that, you know, she's supposed to be
still maintained, because she's still coming under the, you know, the ruling of being a wife, basically, although they they've technically, you know, divorced. So he still supports her. Now,
when it comes to the,
if they've been, you know, if she's taken Hola, or she's, she's been divorced
three times, I think it's, I think, from memory, the Hanafi madhhab are of the view that she still is to be spent on during that time, while the sheffey and the Maliki madhhab are of the view, let's
she's only to provide
housing, okay. But if the if the, if the woman has been divorced, and she's pregnant, then she is to be maintained, she has to maintain the whole for the whole duration of the pregnancy. And while she's breastfeeding, as well, she's to be maintained. And actually, interestingly,
a lot people don't know this. But interestingly, if she's divorced, especially if she's divorced from her husband, and she's, she's breastfeeding her child, she's allowed to ask for wage for actually breastfeeding the child for him.
And she can also ask for, she can also ask for, so it's gonna turn that off. She can also ask for
a wage for,
you know, main, you know, whose service in in looking after the children as well, right. And then besides that, of course, that's also mentioned that
a father is always a father, whether you're divorced or not, the father still remains a father to his children. And so therefore, he is obligated to continue spending on his children, if you've got no one, especially if you've got no one else to spend on them. He is, you know, the, it's his main responsibility to ensure that they,
you know, are financially looked after and also common accommodation, especially if the wife, you know, the ex wife cannot afford accommodation then and she's, you know, obviously, generally speaking the custody
as long as you're not really
Are you does go to the mother when the children are young. Right? So, um, so as long as you know, she's taking care of the children and you know, they're under her,
you know, custody, then, you know, he needs to be also paying something or you know, to support
you know, just put the children to to have somewhere to leave, basically. Yes, yes. Yeah. Okay. Yes.
Okay. All right. So honey ledger, Zack Lafave for for clearing that up as well. And for for letting us know about that.
All right, so So we've covered I think we've covered
it the you know, what is it? You know, why do women have to observe this data period? Some of the rules pertaining to it as well, you know, be it the lock situation? Or if one loses husband? And is it anything else that you feel that we need to cover before we have to wrap up the segment?
think about that. There's, there's so much to cover actually, with these topics. There's actually it's like,
I'm sure that look, we'll have a lot of questions.
Like, it's, let me just say one thing, too, with regards to divorce, it's a very, let's just say as divorce we can all feel it's a heavy topic. Well, the flick of divorce is also a very heavy topic, there's so many difference of opinion in you know, regarding it. So that's why sometimes you'll get different, you'll have different people, you know, different machines, different people knowledge will tell you sometimes different rulings on these things.
But yeah, so just also take that into consideration as well.
I mean, I've learned something today as well, like, I mean, the part when you mentioned about the you know, the first the lock in the second block and things like that they and how, you know, what system is still allowed to stay in the in the home and things like that there, that is something that I think most of us didn't
notice, and how the rulings are basically, and the reason why
that's not even a matter of still allowed to stay. She's supposed to be staying there.
It's actually commanded by a boss of pantalla, you know, for her to do that. And not as I said, not to be turned out and, you know, told to leave or something like that.
Oh, hello, what the hell is gonna save us all? Insha Allah, I mean,
some of you, I think, listen, to have your parting words. Shekar let's have your parting words Sharla inshallah. Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah. So, look, I think the what I wanted to say,
to leave, you know, what I wanted to leave everyone with is just to realize, insha Allah,
the importance for all of us to be on some type of path of seeking knowledge. You know, I think we're living in a time where there's just so much widespread, widespread, you know, fits in, you know, trials and tribulations and so many doubts out there, you know, so many different deviant lifestyles being thrown at us and ways of thinking and really, I do believe strongly that none of us can afford not to be somewhere on that path of knowledge, you know, and remember that
seeking knowledge is a path that leads to paradise you know, the Messenger of Allah Steadman silica body con, el Tamizh, to fee Amen Sal, Allahu Allahu be he body on Isla Jana, right? Whoever took a path of knowledge that Allahu Taala makes the path agenda easy for them. And we're not saying everyone has to become scholars, okay. But what we're saying is, you need knowledge. Now, you you cannot afford to be like in the past where, you know, you just
learn about yours, then from you know, your grandmother, or your mother or you know, you know, just got passed down, you really need to be proactive in deepening your knowledge about use them for yourself to keep yourself further upon this path of Islam in these times. And even for your children and for your family, you know, because the kids are coming back with all kinds of questions, and you really need to be in that position where, you know, you're able to, you know, confidently
answer at least most of their questions that they have, right. So and not just realize that, like, one of the reasons I find a lot of people shaking in their faith often is just because, you know, often it's just they haven't actually been able to, you know, access that knowledge or they haven't sought out that knowledge, and that's why they're actually
going through some type of crisis, you know, with their faith often.
And just that to let you know, as well, like, one of the reasons I actually Alhamdulillah like made myself available online, was I realized that a lot of people just don't have anyone to, to ask when they have questions. So that's why I actually start up my Facebook page.
My Instagram page just to make myself there that if if sisters are out there and they you know, they've got questions that I know who talked to that they're able to access at least someone in the world
500 bucks and perhaps you could share that with our listeners insha Allah was just as and Inshallah, if they would like to, perhaps follow you as well I know I'm following Shaka as well. So you can also follow, check out on jamaludin on Instagram, you can give your social media handles,
I'm sure. Well, it's basically just just typing on Jimena Dean. So it's um, it's I spell my name, you double M and then capital J, capital J, a n, double A L, and then you d hyphen di N that's on Facebook and then on Instagram.
Just trying to think same thing. I mean, just oh, well, it's on Instagram, it's you double M and underscore JMWAL underscore u dt underscore di n. So that's how you can find me there. If you've got, you know, if you want to connect or you want to, you know, Follow Follow me as they say in these times.
Definitely, like I said, and your lectures as well are available on YouTube. Oh, that's right. Yes, I've got all my motivational lectures and I have some information that is on there too. actually interesting. I just want to share, I do actually have a specific talk on
the rules pertaining to the eighth day of mourning, or you know, the mourning period, like what is the widow supposed to do? And so I have a lot more information in that particular talk that's on YouTube again, you just search on Jimena Dean in YouTube and inshallah you'll come across that talk.
Lovely Alhamdulillah so I'm sure that our listeners would find that valuable and definitely follow you on social media and check out those YouTube videos as well. I want to say a huge, huge JSOC Luffy a huge to grant you for making the time we are we have a big an I think it's a nine hour difference in time from South Africa to Australia. So our time difference is the first thing of course and you've you know you've allocated time to to actually talk to me that you are basically talking to our listeners and sharing with our listeners such valuable information desert blockchain May Allah bless you bless your family. And you know, also, I would say, reward you abundantly for
all this beautiful, this wonderful work that you are doing. The fact that you this is your calling, and you know, you are sharing this knowledge with people now around the world, as Allah will really bless you abundantly Amin and your family as well. Because again, it must be a sacrifice that your family has to also sacrifice the time with you because now you are taking our time to talk to me talk to our listeners, you know, and I'm not the only one. So, Zack, I really, really appreciate the fact that you made the time to talk to us today as well, all the way here in South Africa. We want to wish you well insha Allah just lucky Okay, well, it was an absolute, you know, honor and a
pleasure to speak with you and I have this chance to share. I really ask law that something I've shared today has, you know, helped someone out there. I hope it's supported someone in their Eman or through their situation where they're going through inshallah and you know, may Allah bless you all may Allah keep all of your family's safe. May Allah strengthen everyone in their Eman and you know mellow a little taller keep us you know, steadfast upon this path but you delay that leads to Jana and may He unite us all in Jennifer for adults yorubaland Amin in the next life.
Baraka a few calm, shallow, She's awfully lucky that salam Wa alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh. Polycom was salam Orapa cattle