Lessons from the Wives of the Prophet- Khadijah

Tom Facchine


Channel: Tom Facchine

File Size: 26.70MB

Share Page


WARNING!!! AI generated text may display inaccurate or offensive information that doesn’t represent Muslim Central's views. Therefore, no part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever.

AI Generated Summary ©

The conversation discusses the struggles of mothers in their roles as mothers and the importance of learning from them. The importance of women in their roles is also discussed, including the divorce of a woman named Phoenicia before her marriage to a man named Khadija. The importance of timing of events and sharing experiences in relationships is emphasized, along with the need for everyone to take responsibility for their own lives and not let fear control them. The speakers also emphasize the importance of showing faith in others' actions and words, especially when faced with fear or doubt.

Transcript ©

00:00:19--> 00:00:21

All along

00:00:55--> 00:00:55


00:01:10--> 00:01:10


00:01:48--> 00:01:49

underwater stereo who want to stop people

00:01:51--> 00:01:54

whenever we are having trouble because you know I mean certainly it

00:01:59--> 00:02:00

made me laugh

00:02:03--> 00:02:04

when I heard the

00:02:06--> 00:02:07

word shadow in there you know

00:02:09--> 00:02:10

welcome America City

00:02:11--> 00:02:12

Watch the woman

00:02:13--> 00:02:16

also you have been

00:02:17--> 00:02:19

up for the party he was

00:02:21--> 00:02:22

most people

00:02:23--> 00:02:23


00:02:25--> 00:02:27

it was a forever things actually one

00:02:28--> 00:02:28


00:02:31--> 00:02:32

good enough money

00:02:33--> 00:02:34

What's up a lot of money

00:02:37--> 00:02:38

in the law How can I

00:02:40--> 00:02:41

yeah we

00:02:42--> 00:02:51

talk a lot about who will call them city, your state level we often don't go over what name was

00:02:52--> 00:02:53

chosen Arkema.

00:02:56--> 00:03:01

A lot will accidentally somebody or somebody was calling

00:03:05--> 00:03:06

what was up with Arthur

00:03:09--> 00:03:17

Today, we begin a four part series on the wives of the prophets, some of them

00:03:19--> 00:03:26

many of us if asks, could not name all of the wives profit and money losses.

00:03:28--> 00:03:31

We might remember that there are 11 of them.

00:03:33--> 00:03:37

We will probably get the most famous ones are needed

00:03:38--> 00:03:39

on Saturday.

00:03:40--> 00:03:47

But as we kept going down the list will probably start to struggle a little bit.

00:03:48--> 00:04:03

This series is meant to give us greater familiarity with these remarkable women and to learn from them their struggles, their triumphs, their reflections

00:04:05--> 00:04:10

it's enough reason so wants to learn from them because as wives of the Prophet I mean

00:04:12--> 00:04:14

they weren't loved by the province.

00:04:17--> 00:04:17

And the province

00:04:19--> 00:04:23

never loved anything that wasn't

00:04:24--> 00:04:24


00:04:28--> 00:04:31

in addition to the province final profits,

00:04:33--> 00:04:37

call them our mothers in the forehead.

00:04:38--> 00:04:39

And the video oh

00:04:42--> 00:04:43

well, as well as

00:04:46--> 00:04:57

the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam has a stronger opinion seems to be worse than they do to themselves and his wives or their mothers.

00:04:59--> 00:04:59


00:05:00--> 00:05:04

He says about this verse that means that the prophets wives

00:05:05--> 00:05:21

are as inviolable. He uses the word hotma. As our own mothers, this means that not anybody has the ability or have the ability to marry them, after the promise of a loved one, and

00:05:23--> 00:05:38

if he or she takes it even further, he says that Allah Allah, naming the prophets wives, as mothers to every single believer, applies more than just to marriage law. He said, The spirit of FOMO what?

00:05:39--> 00:05:41

What is wrong with you, whether

00:05:43--> 00:05:53

they are our mothers, seeing how we respect them? How we honor them? How we magnify their greatness.

00:05:54--> 00:06:31

What the last time it was Taala give them such a title, if they want to be heated, if they weren't to be emulated, and imitated Of course, no, he would not. As Mother said, every single one of us in the Congress our duty to learn about them, to love them, and to follow their example. Today, we look at the first of the prophets lives, chronologically, and according to many in terms of importance to the due process.

00:06:34--> 00:06:39

Khadija was the author of the way that your asset and Fatima did say that

00:06:40--> 00:06:45

and that have been described of Asia as the complete woman.

00:06:47--> 00:06:49

Intelligence, no,

00:06:50--> 00:06:51


00:06:52--> 00:06:55

generous, and chase.

00:06:57--> 00:07:02

These qualities earned her the nickname of Paul Hill before its

00:07:03--> 00:07:05

meaning the pure one

00:07:06--> 00:07:09

before her marriage, so the Prophet alayhi salam says

00:07:10--> 00:07:19

she had been married twice before, first to Abu Hanifa. Who died. And that's it, even if

00:07:20--> 00:07:21

we divorced her.

00:07:23--> 00:07:25

She had children for both languages.

00:07:27--> 00:07:31

It might surprise some of you to know that Phoenicia

00:07:32--> 00:07:37

was married twice before marrying the prophet but he saw the sun set up

00:07:38--> 00:07:59

with the Think of a woman like Khadija very near perfect. We might not expect that she would be widowed, or divorced. We wouldn't prefer a more Disney like storyline where the prophet saw the boy. So that was her first and only husband.

00:08:00--> 00:08:03

Yes. That's not how it happened.

00:08:05--> 00:08:07

Khadija was surprised

00:08:08--> 00:08:13

that her second husband was unhappy enough with the marriage to divorce

00:08:15--> 00:08:35

matters she had seen it comes down to personal compatibility, perhaps more than finding the so called perfect, positive or perfect life. We have no doubt that Khadija on the lock arms I was the perfect wife. Yes, she was divorce.

00:08:37--> 00:08:40

Divorce is something that can happen to anyone.

00:08:41--> 00:08:45

Even one of the best women ever to walk the earth.

00:08:46--> 00:08:50

These things happen as the law wills them to have done

00:08:51--> 00:08:54

with wisdom and with knowledge.

00:08:55--> 00:09:06

And averages happen, divorces happen. Happiness happens grief happens, trial happens and setbacks happen.

00:09:07--> 00:09:18

These things are part of his destiny. And they are not necessarily a reward or a punishment for what you've done or for who you are.

00:09:20--> 00:09:26

But he just of course had nothing to do with who she was or the person or how virtuous she was.

00:09:27--> 00:09:36

At that time. Nobody considered a Beija a failure due to her previous marriages.

00:09:37--> 00:09:43

Can we say the same about how we would do a woman in her situation today?

00:09:45--> 00:09:45


00:09:46--> 00:09:59

divorce children for each matter. If people were asked who's the best? Who's the purest woman in the community, how many of us would even think

00:10:00--> 00:10:02

To consider somebody and click the disposition

00:10:04--> 00:10:05

and why is that?

00:10:07--> 00:10:11

What's the difference between our times and there's

00:10:14--> 00:10:22

our mistake is that we judge people based on what happens to them.

00:10:23--> 00:10:30

We see someone who is divorced someone with a complicated family life, children from multiple marriages.

00:10:31--> 00:10:32

And we blame them.

00:10:33--> 00:10:38

We assume that if they were more righteous that that would not have happened to them.

00:10:40--> 00:10:46

pious people have more simple story of liars, at least so we assume.

00:10:47--> 00:10:51

And yet, here's the Legion proving us wrong.

00:10:53--> 00:11:12

Here is Alicia who the prophets of Allah ye was an upset was one of the first women to walk the earth, teaching us that your worth as a human being. And your level of righteousness isn't always reflected by outcomes and results.

00:11:13--> 00:11:25

But even Khadija teaches us that you could be the best person in the world, and hard things are going to come your way by last wisdom and even his mercy.

00:11:27--> 00:11:44

Khadija teaches us that what makes someone with highest is not the results which we have no control over with the process. The choices we make our intentions, our virtues, our effort.

00:11:46--> 00:12:22

cobija all the above when I was a very wealthy woman. She inherited wealth from her first husband after and use it to run her own trading business. She employed men to travel and trading on her behalf. And while this is a common cause for celebration today, as young women try to find role models who are independent and in very public leadership positions. Allah and His Messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam never once praised her for that specifically.

00:12:23--> 00:12:36

In fact, they praise Khadija for different qualities and actions entirely. wants in the early days of the prophets mission, so Allah was a he was with degree a

00:12:37--> 00:12:54

degree of seven, here comes Khadija with food and drink. When she comes give her sit down from her Lord, and from me, and give her glad tidings of a house in paradise.

00:12:55--> 00:13:07

For a long time Allah entered real to give someone the breathing of Savannah and glad tidings of paradise, they have to be a very special pious person.

00:13:09--> 00:13:49

The timing behind the message was no accident. It wasn't just that she happens to be approaching. At that moment, timing has significance. The Prophet alayhi salatu salam, he used to say that he loves the fast on Mondays and Thursdays, because that was when his deeds are presented to Allah subhanho wa taala. And he wants in his deeds presented to Allah while he was performing and after obedience and servitude because it would reflect positively on the presentation of his deeds.

00:13:50--> 00:14:08

Allah Subhana Allah gave the Prophet alayhi salatu salam and commanded a five daily prayers during the slotland Meraj during the life journey and the ascension, the timing of the faith, extra significance to what was being revealed.

00:14:11--> 00:14:27

Here could be on the long run, it's so loud from Allah to Allah Himself, and to realize that on top of that, she is told that she has a house waiting for her in paradise and what is she doing?

00:14:28--> 00:14:32

She's bringing the Prophet Mohammed Salah while he was selling food and water.

00:14:34--> 00:14:45

She wasn't organizing the trade caravans. She wasn't paying our workers or even giving money to the pieces. She was bringing her husband, food and water.

00:14:48--> 00:14:59

In my line of work, I talk to couples when they're having difficulties. One of the most common points of conflict is exactly how much you

00:15:00--> 00:15:03

each spouse has to do for the

00:15:04--> 00:15:13

UI have to cook, including, I hear from the women. Do I have to give her so much spending money? I hear from the men.

00:15:15--> 00:15:27

What's really being asked by these types of questions is, what's the bare minimum I can get away with in this relationship?

00:15:30--> 00:15:35

If I were to tell my wife No, you don't have to cook at least, she probably won't do it.

00:15:37--> 00:15:48

If I have to tell the husband that No, he doesn't have to give her extra spending money, he probably won't do it. If either of them are challenge, they will say, Oh, no, the mindset,

00:15:49--> 00:15:50

the mindset, I don't have

00:15:51--> 00:15:57

an attitude to have and the wrong approach to marriage.

00:15:58--> 00:16:06

Marriage becomes unsustainable when each participant is only focused on doing the bare minimum required.

00:16:08--> 00:16:20

Notice how in the above example, the quality of life has gone down for both of them. No more home cooked meals for him. No more spending money for her.

00:16:22--> 00:16:24

Instead of do I have to

00:16:26--> 00:16:30

our attitude that should be what more can I do?

00:16:32--> 00:16:37

isn't good enough for the Prophet alayhi salatu salam to have said it in the love of Catalan.

00:16:40--> 00:16:44

Certainly a law has obligated excellence in everything that we do.

00:16:46--> 00:16:50

Shouldn't it be enough for us that matter? It is half of our faith.

00:16:51--> 00:17:13

Khadija, on the one hand understood this. She wasn't concerned with whether she had to bring food and water to the Prophet audience officer. She knew that all of us are that made our relationships with our spouses, one of the most important arenas of good deeds.

00:17:14--> 00:17:20

And she excelled in worshiping her Creator through serving her spouse.

00:17:21--> 00:17:36

Aloha chose to give her snacks and promised her high res while she was doing this work giving it even more importance who know what we have the wife stuck in a lot anyway on Monday Saturday.

00:17:38--> 00:17:39

Let's not go for him

00:17:54--> 00:17:54


00:17:57--> 00:18:00

wash. Definitely the walk off walk with

00:18:01--> 00:18:06

Lehman you showed me was shot on me analyse what happened with one solo.

00:18:08--> 00:18:12

One solo while he while he was had when he was working.

00:18:16--> 00:18:21

There are many, many examples of believers excellence and piety.

00:18:23--> 00:18:30

One of the most important examples happened at the very beginning of the Prophet Mohammed submissions, although it was certainly

00:18:31--> 00:18:37

during Ramadan, the prophets first encounter with Gibreel and beforehand left him terrified.

00:18:39--> 00:18:43

He came down from general normal amounts of life and who did he goes?

00:18:45--> 00:18:47

Does he go to uncover his strength?

00:18:48--> 00:18:49

Did he goes out of the body?

00:18:51--> 00:18:58

No, he went straight to Kinesia his lovely wife, answering the house and telling her to cover him

00:19:00--> 00:19:00

with a blanket

00:19:02--> 00:19:09

without asking a question. Please don't go around the corner of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam until he stopped shipping.

00:19:10--> 00:19:14

He then told her what happened and he asked her

00:19:15--> 00:19:15


00:19:17--> 00:19:21

what's what's wrong with me? Oh condition? I'm afraid to myself.

00:19:23--> 00:19:32

Listen to her reply. No, this is good news for I swear by Allah. Allah will never forsake you.

00:19:33--> 00:19:36

You keep good relationships with your relatives.

00:19:37--> 00:19:43

You are honest. You are generous to guests, and you help those in need.

00:19:46--> 00:19:59

This encounter between the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Angelica is timeless manner. If we are one thing in this world, we are responsible

00:20:00--> 00:20:09

We are responsible for ourselves. We are responsible for our families, we are responsible for our communities.

00:20:10--> 00:20:36

The buck stops with us, we don't get to pass the blame on to anyone else, if we fall short, and a lot of times on the best co creators, has given every single one of us everything that we need to deal with these responsibilities. Whether it's physical strength, or the instincts to protect, for our ability to make sacrifices and put other people first

00:20:38--> 00:20:51

of all, put it all in our nature, and in our disposition. We step outside of our homes in the morning, ready to play, see an entire world if necessary to protect what is good, and what is sacred.

00:20:52--> 00:20:54

But on the inside,

00:20:55--> 00:21:19

we have doubts. We have worries, we have fears, and we wonder if we're up to the task. Can we do it? The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam himself had these doubts. He himself had these fears. And he did what every single one of us longs to do. he confided in his wife.

00:21:20--> 00:21:29

He opened up to her he honored her by showing her face, he might not show anyone else. And he asked her for advice.

00:21:31--> 00:21:33

To beat you knew what to do.

00:21:34--> 00:22:02

A lot and also with the best of luck creators has given women all that they need to manage this situation, their tenderness and compassion, their mercy and tact. Even their abilities with language and conversation, Khadija takes on the worries of her husband and transforms them into confidence into resolve into hope.

00:22:04--> 00:22:05

Every couple

00:22:06--> 00:22:13

should want to have a strong enough relationship where this type of encounter is possible.

00:22:14--> 00:22:25

And it takes work. It takes work to get there. Men, open up to your wives, ask their opinion and ask for their advice from time to time.

00:22:26--> 00:22:35

They are ready to support you and then the prophets of Allah, why are some that needed it? There's no shame in US seeding Institute.

00:22:36--> 00:22:57

Ladies, if your husband opens up singing like the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam schizophrenia, you need to know that this is a man. This is a sacred trust, how you respond, you have consequences for years to come. Don't want to take the opportunity to prove your points from the last arguments.

00:22:59--> 00:23:15

Don't use his fears against him to control him or trying to get what he wants. Could Aegis response for support and belief nurtured the profits over Lombardi was meant for the rest of his life, even after her death.

00:23:16--> 00:23:25

Because of this definitely says the prophets of Allah while he was sent to pray, praised the media, and even preferred over his other wives.

00:23:26--> 00:23:30

Long after he was gone. Nakisha said

00:23:31--> 00:23:37

I was never jealous of a woman. Like I was jealous of Tunisia.

00:23:38--> 00:23:46

One day the prophets of Allah it was pretty funny just so much that I Keisha said something very.

00:23:48--> 00:23:53

She said to the Prophet sallallahu it was a lot just replace that old lady for you.

00:23:57--> 00:24:01

I show that saw the Prophet saw a whole body with some space change.

00:24:02--> 00:24:05

And she said that he got so angry

00:24:06--> 00:24:22

that she began to feel a sense of dread in her stomach and she prayed to a wall secretly right then and there. She said, Oh, hold on. If you take away your profit, Sanger, I promise I'll never say anything ill about this woman ever again.

00:24:24--> 00:24:28

The promise of a loved one he was telling me some of the segments that he gathered himself.

00:24:30--> 00:24:31

And then he sat down he said,

00:24:33--> 00:24:34

How could you say such a thing?

00:24:36--> 00:24:37

I swear.

00:24:38--> 00:24:40

She believed in me

00:24:41--> 00:24:43

when everyone else thought

00:24:46--> 00:24:48

she accepted me

00:24:49--> 00:24:51

when everybody else rejected me.

00:24:54--> 00:24:59

And the law provided the children from her and forbade me from having children

00:25:00--> 00:25:00

Have anyone else?

00:25:02--> 00:25:13

Listen carefully to the province response to the lower look at the order in which these three things are remembered. This is an order in terms of importance.

00:25:15--> 00:25:17

Whereas having children on the list

00:25:18--> 00:25:19


00:25:21--> 00:25:23

what's first, she believed in me

00:25:24--> 00:25:26

when everyone else called me a lie.

00:25:27--> 00:25:32

What's next? She accepted me. When everybody else rejected me.

00:25:34--> 00:25:51

The Prophet SAW Oh, it was sent a message. He was a manner is needed for that commands that needs to be believed to be accepted. And he never forgot, for a moment. How could he have built him up? In the hard times?

00:25:53--> 00:25:58

Khadija wasn't doing this for favors in this world.

00:25:59--> 00:26:22

She wasn't doing it to get something either immediately or down the road. Khadija also didn't care about what other people would have thought, whether they would look at her behavior and label it as submissive or old fashion or backward or any other narrative out there shooting Kevin

00:26:24--> 00:26:26

collegia was living for a long,

00:26:27--> 00:26:29

extended with excellence.

00:26:30--> 00:26:34

If she was going to be a wife, she was going to excel at it.

00:26:35--> 00:26:38

Because it would be the last time was off.

00:26:39--> 00:26:47

She worshiped a lot through her belief and her husband and her acceptance of him and her support.

00:26:49--> 00:26:53

And this is part of what made the Prophet alayhi salatu salam say Mondrian

00:26:55--> 00:26:57

was the best woman of her time

00:26:58--> 00:27:08

as the if the white of the Rama was the best woman of her time. collegian was the best woman of her time.

00:27:10--> 00:27:10


00:27:12--> 00:27:12

I didn't

00:27:13--> 00:27:19

come out of paperboard in the light over the inevitable use of Lunarlon maybe

00:27:21--> 00:27:24

somebody will certainly Cortez lean on

00:27:25--> 00:27:34

that won't have to come out some of these are like rocking and rolling in like a Humvee muddied and whatnot. I caught up

00:27:35--> 00:27:36

on the

00:27:37--> 00:27:40

wrong vehicle in the kind of view

00:27:42--> 00:27:51

of my eyes is when you see me while the ship You're shaking. Well then thereafter again, one so a convenient whatever

00:27:52--> 00:27:54

it is. We have a couple

00:27:56--> 00:28:23

of Campbelltown where our people was washing off on what could be more be automatically on TV. Oh my god, what is the collective out whatever it is out and about? What is looking at you now? Yeah, you're gonna love it. We'll be able to get into Imperva William. Gotcha. And we're gonna carry on buddy. Yeah.

00:28:25--> 00:28:30

That was a lot. I was sure that they are busy as well. Are we out?