Lessons from the Wives of the Prophet- Hafsah and Umm Salamah
Channel: Tom Facchine
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today is a final part of our four part series on the wives of the prophets of Isa.
Today we begin with
her first husband was named for hates him and secondly,
one of the very first Muslims together
You made your first migration to the city and then returned to Mexico until a migration to Medina
who Hayes was a veteran of the Battle of leather, and
in which he was murdered.
After his husband was martyred at the Battle of Loveland, my father
set about trying to get her remembered.
He proposed the idea of marriage to everyone.
But he did not respond.
He then approached Earth man, but our man refused. So he went to the prophets of Allah Almighty, He was salam to complain about this situation.
The Prophet I mean this,
listen, sympathetically. And then I'm offered to marry pops up in 72. Which promo agreed. This was in the third year, after the hedgerows, Medina, notice how I'm up early a lot of arm who took responsibility for finding his daughter or husband, even after she became a widow.
The job of a parents is never over. No matter how old our children get, we still have the responsibility to care for them, and to help them succeed. At the end of the day, once they are adults, yes, they will make their own decisions. We might approve of some and disapprove of others. But we as parents are the safety net. When tragedy strikes or things don't go as planned. It is our responsibility to be there for support.
Recognize this, as did the other companions, his daughter, now widow, he took her in to this home. But more than just taking her in, he started planning for future once again, who's going to take care of her once I'm gone among customers
who will be in her family.
Things are a little bit different now. Compared to her almost
nowadays, many more women have careers and our financial independence. But this does not reduce the need for the support network that the immediate family provides. Joseph because your daughter can earn an income does not mean that you should not help her to start her own family.
There are two extremes that we see sometimes in our community. We have one extreme where the parents and families arrange absolutely everything. Without any consultation with the child at all.
This can lead to resentment. It can set the marriage off on the wrong foot. It can even do the marriage to failure in certain situations. When the Prophet alayhi salatu salam, he said, What are you doing carefully
to step them
on the outs a little lower case I didn't know how far some Allah was salam and Testaments.
He said the anatomy girls permission is sought, it must be sought. They asked him how do we even ask for permission. He said her silence is her permission
as a Muslim and proves that marriage requires consensus.
But there is another opposite extreme and one that is the norm. Outside our Muslim community where the children are left alone, to figure out smatterings on their home. Their parents avoid discussing anything to do with romance or marriage. So as the children grow and start to have romantic feelings, instead of receiving guidance for how to properly channel those feelings, they are left to learn from the media and from their friends.
The blind that end up leading the blind
unrealistic expectations form. They engage in risky behaviors, especially if the children go off to college, before they've understood the purpose. The reason Allah gave us these feelings and the correct appropriate way to respond to them.
This is an enormous mistake.
It's not even consistent with how we have our children plan for success in other areas of their lives. We plan it carefully for their college education. We plan for them to really plan for their financial stability.
But the other essential parts of a fulfilling life starting a family is neglected. It goes unmentioned. Then we get upset when they go about it in their own way.
Who's really explained?
Help your children understand the stages of courtship and marriage. Help them know what to look for in a potential spouse, help them know what to expect of married life, you will feel the peace, knowing that you did your best to help your children start their own family before you leave this world.
After the Prophet sallallahu it was such a marriage proposal to have so was accepted. Abu Bakr caught up with Oman and explained his earlier response or call it he didn't say anything. Whenever Omar had first come to him,
because like I said that the prophets of Allah ye he had already mentioned to him and privates, that he was interested in marrying cops. So I will, neither wants you to tell her Omar what the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had said to him in private, Nora that he wants to go ahead and marry him. So before the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had the opportunity to do it himself.
The Prophet Abu Bakr did not. He told our leader that he was ready to marry cops up himself, and the only reason he kept quiet he didn't want to allow him to become disappointed. If the promise of a loved one equals seven, ended up changing his mind. There are many points to reflect upon here. Notice how cheerful Abu Bakr was with the things that Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told him in private.
I was thinking about marrying Hafsa himself.
When the prophets of Allah told him his fans are a bit his tongue and kept quiet. He didn't tell the prophets of Allah who it was that he was making the same thing.
That would have been awkward. It might have made the Prophet feel shy, some Allah was was sending, he might have decided to not propose, everyone's gonna love us at the conference when he saw
and he wanted him to succeed in his proposal even more, and he wants it to succeed himself. That is a true friend. And that is sincere companionship
that I will cover hidden for meals are over with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told him, he put himself in the proper shoes and realize that
if he told him that the prophets will always Saddam was considering marrying cops up, it would be a big disappointment to him and he ended up changing his mind. So he said he stayed quiet. He didn't say anything. That was the safest way to not hurt anyone's feelings. Even then, he knew that his response at God.
And so after the marriage proposal to the Prophet saw my son was most accepted, he went up to clarify the situation.
We see why the loved one was the best of the companions.
He guarded the feelings of others. But the purpose of the love it was mostly for men standing by it was single and only in the 70s he was
a Muslim is someone from whose tongue and here and the other Muslims are safe.
I've tried his best to make sure that his actions and his words
We're not the cause of any disappointment or embarrassment for his brothers and his son.
We should also try to exercise the shape of singing caution.
Hopson and the province have a long way to send them love with each other very much. What no marriage is without hardship, and frustrations. The books of Hadith are not unanimous regarding the cause. But the prophets of Allah
actually attempted to divorce outside of the law firm.
In Islamic law, divorce is a process. Once a divorce announcement has been made, the clock starts ticking.
And there is a period of time in which the couple is still married. And they can reconcile without having to get remarried a second time.
If there is no reconciliation within this time period, then the divorce is finalized, then they are no longer battery. And if they wanted to get back together after that requires any new matters, contracts and a new Valerie
for your information. That reconciliation period lasts for three menstrual cycles for women who are menstruating three lunar months for women who are menstruating and the entire period of pregnancy for women who are pregnant.
The wisdom behind these rules is that divorce, though sometimes necessary, should not be our first choice.
Divorce is hard on the children is hard on women, especially along the divorce saw this way to give the couple a chance to calm down and make up if possible.
In the case a pops up not much time has gone by before Jim Rio himself
came to the province of a law it was set up and commanded that they reconcile and stay together. The Rio said that hop so fast regularly and she stands to pray at night she is your spouse in paradise.
In addition to showing you how righteous of a woman have someone else, this event shows how the Prophet saw a woman he was someone was not simply marrying whoever he wanted. Just like with the case evaluation, he was following divine command.
So if we don't specify the opposite of piety and righteousness, we also know how so was a symbol of learning and education. She was literate she could read and write, which was rare for anyone, man or woman. At her time. She was entrusted with the first Muslim for the first time please copy of the Koran for many years.
Many of us don't realize how important that we have today that our parents was preserved from the time of the Prophet SAW just
after he passed away, and we're lucky to have commanded the gathering and compilation of the entire format in one authoritative poke, or most
shortly after the death of a rock climbing.
A committee of Senior Companions perform this duty with excellence. And when it was complete, it was captured with everyone until his death.
Then after him, kept it with him until his death, and after that it stayed with pazza until the roof man, the Khalifa at the time, borrowed it from her to commission the production of seven official copies to be made a sense to the major cities of the Western world. Because Pub Sub played a key role in making sure that the poor man that we have today is exactly the same as the forehand reveals the profitability so
Hopster died in the year 41. The same year that the Hudson a Southern army abdicated his claim to political authority, redirection of muscles under the feet of malaria broadly Hello, I'm on veterinary
stuff you're probably wondering what exactly was included versus other people in the world?
The other day of selling was shopping at one washer with
all my food actually going up and talking money Shut up or shut up and I will send you that I will have another article was sold at Larry, I know some of you are thinking on Saturday he was planning for Sunday to seal the deal
after a cup so the next one is a married couple. So look at some of the models on Saturday.
Her first name was in. She was a daughter of Romania,
which may have come from the elites of Mexico. She was a cousin of both parties. You know what I mean lead and agenda.
Along with it. On Saturday was one of the football half of the caveats. One of the journalists from the female companions, after the prophets of Allah way was
the younger companions and the children of the older companions with contact it should have been set up to learn the theme.
And they would teach whoever came to them from behind the screen.
On Sunday, maybe the first migration to Emma city or with her husband, I was seven.
So they had three children on seminar, and they
also have her and her husband who set them up, we're very much in love. One day we'll set up a sense of your husband. I heard that if a person's spouse dies, and they both go to Paradise alone will bring them back together again in paradise as long as they don't remarry.
Let's both swear to never remarry after the other one passes away.
I will sum up I looked at his wife
and he asked her
will you do as I said,
she said without any hesitation. Yes.
I will summon someone said if I die, I want you to remember.
Then he made the rock Oh oh, after I'm done.
With that is better than many
wonderful books made of sour and golden struggler. Almost a certain neighborhood at the time she couldn't imagine anyone better than that was sodomized.
This touching story shows us the meaning of true love.
True love isn't supposed to be on so from movies and television where you just take one look at somebody and you're overpower that emotion and and stop thinking about that person number. That's infatuation. That's what are gives you as a gift to push you through the door of marriage and responsibility.
True Love. I find you some of our shows us is loving your spouse so much that you want the best thing for them even if it conflicts with what you want.
There's no selfishness involved. There's no pettiness. There's some funny comments. There's no I deserve this. This is my life.
Consider how automatically own some of other greens do whatever I do some of my Senate
before she even knew what it was.
Most of us would not agree blindly to our spouses wishes like that.
That takes trust. That takes work that takes building your relationship together day in and day out. That type of trust isn't anywhere to be found during the infatuation stage, many couples don't ever get there at all.
What enables that trust is that one syllable knows that whatever comes out of your husband's house next isn't showing to be selfish. It's not showing the worker in a bad situation the opposite.
It will be in her best interest and puts her in a position to succeed. If we want that level of trust in our relationships, we have to earn it with that level of selflessness and sacrifice.
Our husband's words were very far
So that was something that was sent for a mission in the fourth year after the hedgerows and Medina. He was wrong for 29 days. And when he returned, the wounds that he had suffered that often became infected. And he shortly thereafter,
after her waiting period, I will have proposed that I'm sad about her marriage, because she rejected his proposal. That's wrong came and Roma proposed matters to her but she rejected that as well.
Finally, in the province of Allah, why even some of himself approached all southerners relatives and express his intends to propose marriage. They accepted, and he proposed to southern the next day. Her response to the problems of the day was Sunday, she said, tell the province, that I am a jealous woman with small children.
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam replied, as we are having small children, Allah will make them a blessing for you. And as for your jealousy, I will ask Allah to review others.
After this response, she accepted and they were married.
It's interesting that the prophets of Allah told
that he was afraid to offload some of her jealousy.
In the Muslim community, we are much more accepting of jealousy than mainstream society is for each spouse to care about how the other one dresses, who they become friends with, and how they interact with the opposite sex is not totally normal, but praiseworthy in our communities.
We would almost expect the Congress all of your select to just accept on some of the jealousy and say, I have normal, no problem. What it said and his responsibility
is to ask Allah to get rid of the projects.
This teaches us something that jealousy just like everything else can be taken to extremes.
On one hand, we have no effective therapy for our spouses and family members is irresponsible.
of the prophets of Allah. Southern said that after a horrible loss by making an agenda meaningful that they use,
three types of people are all forbidden from entering paradise. One of them was called at the youth which the burden that I've set is someone who is okay with their families if morality, specifically their people around them with the opposite sex.
The type of jealousy that prevents mrrc and sin from happening is an obligation.
This isn't something that is a personal it's not something that is backwards. No, this is common sense. It sounds a practical thing. If you allow your family members to put themselves in situations where sin can happen, or is likely to happen, it's only a matter of time until it happens.
We just can't find our own business. When these types of situations can results in heartbreak, emotional trauma, and lifelong regrets.
On the other hand, people can get carried away with their jealousy.
We need to be aware that the Devil loves nothing more, let's create conflicts between a man and his wife.
If he can do that, through suspicion and jealousy, you can be sure that he will.
We need to resist entertaining the far fetched scenarios that the federal uses to get us riled up.
We can rely on slippery slope arguments to the point where we can let our family members get some education or have friends were developed themselves or their interests.
We can spy on each other that's a command from a law and social justice.
If people have a history of crisis behavior, they should be given the benefit of the doubt even if the situation looks suspicious. Remember our issue last week? What did it do cetera and the other companions say about your situation. They pointed to purpose three. It would have been out of character for her to do the things that she was accused of
People need a degree of privacy. They need to be trusted and given opportunities where they can prove themselves to be trustworthy.
We risk damaging our relationships by withholding that trust, for no reason.
All of a sudden, we can conclude was someone who tended towards this extreme jealousy.
extreme jealousy is bad enough for the Prophet alayhi salatu salam said ask Allah to remove it from home Sunday.
On Sunday, I was pleased that she was happy to be married to the Prophet alayhi salatu salam, but she was shy, especially at first.
At that time, her daughter is pregnant. That was a baby who was still nursing.
The first several times the province of alumni who visited the home center before their marriage was even concentrated, she would round up her doctor and begin nursing her
the province a lot but he said it was shy to be around setup, I was nursing her daughter. And so he would excuse himself to me. This happened several times until I called him Yes, who was related to him suddenly realize that home celadon was doing this on purpose.
So one day, when our mom knew the Promise of Allah boy or someone was about to come, he entered the room seven his house and picked up babies and he said to himself, let me have this little one you've been using to follow the proper follow up on a Sunday.
He took little zeta out for a walk and got her out of the house. So the prophets Allah, or someone like home, seven have to have some alone time together.
When the prophets Allah when he was entered, he began looking around when he was searching for something. What have you done within it? He said, he was concerned
about the flow of it. Their setup was so pure, and carry so affectionate and unassuming. He wasn't just waiting to get home southern alone. He missed training. And he looks forward to seeing
their story teaches us that to be part of a supportive community is part of our faith. We need to treat each other as more than just individuals. Every one of us gets a son or a daughter. Many of us are parents, spouses, sisters or brothers, every single one of us is enmeshed in a web of family and social relations. And these connections that we have made up the drama of our lives, both the happy times and the struggles.
When something happens to our families, it also happens to us. We go through it together. The Prophet SAW along the way and was understood this. He didn't treat for the summer as an individual who happens to have children.
He treated her as a mother. He wants him to have a relationship with both her and her children. And he worships Allah azza wa jal for both relationships.
On Sunday, Monday, so the age of 90 She was the last of the province lives to die and was very empathetic into the fullness of who I want to be. Can I pray for God in the last over here we saw Lunarlon Yeah.
He was certainly also seen a lot of somebody
walking behind the camera
while he was walking into the hammock, movies or whatever the
is working in the theater, almost Hotel. Where are people
watching or wanna watch the ball?
The yellow TV oh my
god, look at everything that
was up in the cinema. Yeah, we got a walk in a walk.
Me walking inside even more about what is infection capture your colleagues.
First of all, as CoCo was rue de Cicco will be