Channel: Taimiyyah Zubair
At-Tahrim 1-12 Tafsir 1-2
Rosa Billahi min ash shaytani r rajim Bismillah Ar Rahman Rahim
lesson number 290 Soto to the heme iron number one to 12.
The harim. What does that mean? To make something? How long to make something unlawful? How long have you had to remove the him?
Sort of the him is a Minnesota and into the toboggan. We learned that some of once as well. And oh lad, who are they in reality, enemy
and internal talaq, we learned that as a result of this enmity. Sometimes Fallout also takes place that husband and wife were together, because of the enmity that is between them, they cannot stay together anymore. And they end up separating from one another.
But we've seen sort of the fallout that were out of enmity or whatever reason, a man is divorcing his wife, can he disregard the commands of Allah subhana wa, tada? No,
in enmity and hatred, can he violate the commands of Allah? No, he still has to abide by the rules that Allah has given. And we have learned earlier that when a man gives divorce, and he has to give divorce at the right time, he should not be hasty.
Similarly, during their it that he's not allowed to expel her from the house. Similarly, he's supposed to give her a normal place to live where he is living. And similarly, after the divorce, even he is supposed to speak to her discuss matters with her concerning their children. And similarly, at the end of the day, if a man decides to keep her or let her go, then all of that has to be with my wife.
And if you think about it, divorce doesn't happen out of goodwill ever, right? I mean, it's not the man loves his wife. This is why he's divorcing her. No. It's always because of some ill feelings, some problems that a man would end up divorcing his wife. But we see that despite that, can a person neglect the commands of Allah? No. Can he disregard them? No, he has to abide by them.
And we see that in this surah, we learned the other side of the story, which is that sometimes out of love, what do people do? They compromise and the commands of Allah, isn't it so they end up violating the limits that Allah subhanaw taala has said, they end up doing things that Allah does not like.
So what does that teach us? That where hatred should not make us disobey Allah. Similarly, love should also not make a person this will be a law.
In other words, a person's image is complete, when, when his hatred when his enmity and his love are both dictated by the commands of Allah subhanaw taala
where he cannot do anything wrong, in hatred, he cannot do anything wrong out of love either. He cannot forget what Allah subhanaw taala wants him to do. Why? Because we're Latina amanu I should have been de la de la for a la overwrites every other love. Therefore, in love in hatred, what does a person have to do? abide by the commands of Allah subhanaw taala.
So in through the prologue, where we looked at the enmity over here, we will look at love.
And also we see that our lead, and as well, both are the tests for a person, right, both sometimes become an enemy for a person.
Instead of the Pollak, we learned that the children when it comes to their right of taken care by the father in the sense that he has to pay for the nursing for the breastfeeding. In this sort of, we learned that the Father is also responsible for educating the children.
It's not enough to just look after the physical needs of children or one's family. But the Father, the CO one is also responsible to teach, educate properly train the children and as a result, save them from hellfire. Because many times in love, what do we do? We are only concerned about the physical comfort of the person who we love, isn't it?
But we see that where physical comfort is of importance, we should be more concerned about their afra
This is why in this order, we learn the coup enforcer combo alikhan Naira, save yourself and also your family's from the fire
Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim. Yeah, are you Hannah bu Oh, Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, Lima to her GMO. Why do you make unlawful man hell Allah hulak that which Allah has made lawful
something that Allah has made lawful for you? Why are you making it unlawful for yourself? Lima? Lima is a question. And what does it mean? Why? For what reason? Why did you do this? It's a question.
And remember that sometimes a question is asked, in order to get an answer. And sometimes a question is asked just to shake the other.
That why are you doing this? What's making you do it? Sometimes people ask this type of question in order to score the other.
Night, for example, if a child throws something on the floor, why did you throw it?
And sometimes it's out of love as well. This is Rita martella.
This is holding, accountable questioning out of love. We should not misunderstand this ayah thinking that Allah is very upset with his prophet, no, this is out of love. That why are you doing this meaning Don't do this. Something that Allah has made lawful for you. Why are you making it unlawful for yourself? In other words, don't do that.
And to have removed this is from Tallinn, and this is what the solar is named after.
What is it that the Prophet said a lot of center made unlawful for himself, honey, and why is it that he do it? devil telling him about that as well magic? You are seeking the pleasure of your wives? Is this way you did it. You made something lawful unlawful simply to please your wives w tell him about as logic and who he before this there is an implied Hamza is different meaning a Tabitha Lima Bertha as well? Are you trying to seek the pleasure of your wives? This is why you made lawful unlawful for yourself. If you did it, this is not correct. You should not do it. ww Mr. Botha as magic will law Hoover fudo Rahim. And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.
There's a particular incident behind the revelation of these ayah. And what is that, that the Prophet said about Islam his usual way, his usual practice was that after solitude, so he would go and visit each and every single one of his wives.
Because he would spend one night with one wife. And during the day, he would make sure that he visited every single one of them. So just because somebody stern is coming after a week doesn't mean they don't see the profit sort of on a seven for an entire week. But rather, he went to each one of them during the day, to visit them to ask them how they were spend some time with them. What does it show to us
the importance of spending time with family who was more busier than him, no one who had a greater responsibility than him no one, isn't it. And if you look at his family, even, he had a huge family.
But still, we see that he made time for all of his wives every single day, he made a point to visit every single one of them.
And this is something that we should also do. Make sure that you spend some quality time quality time with your family members. Because it's very important. This is the way we connect with one another. And this is what brings peace and happiness in a person's family life.
If you haven't seen somebody for a long time, isn't that going to create some kind of distance between the two of you? Yes. If you haven't spoken to each other for a while, that isn't that going to create some kind of awkwardness in you? Yes, it will. So in order to keep good relations with one another, what do we have to do spend quality time with each other as well make time for your family members.
Sometimes mothers neglect their children sometimes neglect their husbands, this is not right. Each person deserves time from you.
And we see that each wife of the prophets are allowed to serve God alone time with him. Because this is what makes a person feel special.
Now, for example, if a woman has several children, and she is giving time to all of them, but sometimes it happens that one child demands more attention. So even though she's with all of the children, all of our attention is devoted to one of them. And the other children feel neglected. Therefore, it's very important as a mother even that you give alone time to one child, meaning just be with that one child for some time. There's nobody else over there.
So that the child knows I'm special.
Similarly, the husband needs special time just you and him. Your mother, sometimes she needs time with you, just you and her. Make sure you do that with all of your family members, because it's very essential for bonding.
Anyway, this was the habit of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam and if he could do that, we can also do it
So one day, he was going about visiting each and every single one of them, and he went to the house of Zainab bint Josh ohana.
And they have been judged somebody had sent her some honey. So when she had that honey and the profits on a lot of sudden came, obviously she offered that to him. Why? Because it's something so good. And he also liked honey. So he actually had a lot of that honey. And this took some time. Because you know, when you start enjoying something nice and sweet dessert, then it's quite possible that you spend more time eating. And when he spent more time over there he was laid going to the rest of his wives. Now have sir, well, they know. And I shouldn't be lying. When they found about it. They felt a little envious, that why is it that he spent more time with her? This is not fair.
What does that show to us? That we're normal human beings.
They were the wives of the Prophet subtle notice that unrighteous women, Allah subhanaw taala chose them for him, and they will be his wives in general. Even we have learned about their high status intellectual,
isn't it? The Prophet sallallahu Sallam was not allowed to even divorce any one of them. But yet, who are they human beings? So they felt a little envious and we don't even know how to do that I should have learned how she said that have Sinai decided that when the Prophet sallallahu Sallam entered upon either of us, we would say I smell my feet on you. Have you eaten Mojave
and Mojave there's a kind of a sap or herb that when you use it has a very strong smell. And we know how the Prophet sallallahu Sallam was so particular about keeping himself neat and clean. That how much he would do miswak he will do will do. He would keep himself clean, wear perfume as well. And especially when he would go to his wives he would like to be in a good appearance.
So somebody's telling you, you know, I smell this from you? How would you feel awkward, uncomfortable, especially when you're so conscious about keeping yourself clean and neat all the time? So when he entered upon one of us, she said that to him and the Prophet sallallahu wasallam replied, No, but I drank honey in the house of Zeynep and Josh, and I will never drink it again.
Meaning if honey gave me this bad smell that said, I'm never having honey again.
And he swore an oath, and then these ayat were revealed.
So honey, that is something lawful, the prophet said a lot of sudden made it unlawful on himself. Why? Just to please his wives. How is he trying to please them? That they would not be annoyed by its smell. They thought, according to them, the smell of honey was like the smell of Murphy's.
The Prophet sallallahu Sallam did not want to annoy his wives even a little bit. So what did he say? I'm not having honey again. If honey brings a smell, and you don't like it, I'm not having it again. What does it show to us? What's the lesson in this for us?
The prophets that have autism cared about what his wives liked, and disliked.
Imagine he went to the extent of saying I'm never having honey again. And he liked honey.
And we see here that the prophets are a lot of sentiments directly being addressed. Lima, two huddly muma heilala hulak but generally as well, it is not allowed for any person to make something lawful, unlawful upon himself. But if someone stays away from some kind of food because of some reason, some health issue, it's okay.
But if he says this is haram on me, I'm never having it again, by Allah. This is something we're not allowed to do.
So Lima to Halima Allah, Allah Allah.
And this also shows to us the character of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam that how much he took care of his wives. How much he liked to please them, how much he liked to keep them happy, that even if it was a food who smell annoyed them, he said he wasn't going to have that food again.
What's the lesson in this for us?
That a husband or a wife, if they do something to please one another, then this is not something bad. In fact, what is it? It is something good. It is actually following the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu sallam.
You know many times women don't care about how they appear before their husbands. If they're going out, you know, their mouth should smell good. They will constantly have mint or something like that in their mouth. Similarly, their clothes should smell nice. Their clothes should look nice ironed, they get embarrassed walk in front of someone else. If they're not in good appearance, but in front of the husband. Not a big deal. And the husband is too shy to say anything. And even if he says something, such as Why don't you do this. For me the
wife doesn't care about it. So what does it teach us? That part of being good to one another as a husband and wife is what?
What is it taking care of likes and dislikes of one another
that don't eat something, who smell will bother the other person.
Don't wear something that they might not, like, You understand, don't do anything that they would get irritated by. Because sometimes we say it's my life, what's the big deal? Right? Many times people have this problem, it's my life, what's the big deal, I want to wear this, I don't want to wear this, I want to do this, I don't want to do this. But think about it. If you want to keep your relationship with your husband, good, then you have to be concerned about his likes and dislikes. You know, these are little little things that can either create love between a husband and wife, or they can turn them away from each other.
And sometimes it doesn't take too much, all you have to do is just change your habits a little bit, try a little bit harder, put in just a little bit more effort. But if you do that it goes such a long way. And if you neglect these things, they can really have an impact on your relationship on your marriage.
So look at how careful the profits are a lot of seven was. And we see over here, that it's not against the manliness of a man if you try to do something to please his wife. Similarly, if a wife pleases her husband somehow, it's not like, you know, she is becoming very weak. No, there is no dishonor in this. No dishonor if you compromise on something to make the other happy. This is all good. This is all good.
But there's one condition. And what is that condition that just to please the other we cannot cross the limits that Allah subhanaw taala has set. This is what we have to remember. You understand?
So both the husband and wife, they are supposed to please one another, keep each other happy. But in that process, they cannot forget the rules that Allah soprano data has set. So just because your husband likes something, doesn't mean you're going to do it. If it means disobeying a law. You understand seminary for a husband, just because his wife likes something doesn't mean he has to do it, if it means disobeying Allah. Because Allah does love his obedience is over and above the love of other people.
So this is one rule that we have to remember. But typically, we see that what is the way of people they go to extremes?
One is that they go to such an extreme thinking that if I please my husband, if I please my wife, I'm humiliating myself.
So because of that, anything, the wife says the husband will go against it anything the husband says the wife will go against it. The husband says turn right, the wife says no, we'll go left. The husband says cook this. She says no, we're gonna cook this. So this is not right. We shouldn't go to this extreme. And we see people go to another extreme, that they obey their husbands, they obey their wives, even if it means disobeying Allah soprano.
So what is our religion teach us balance?
And that balance? How does that come when a person remains obedient to Allah.
So the same command applies to men, as well as women.
Sometimes that happens at friends, when they're sitting with one another. And one of them says that I do this because my husband likes or I don't do this, because my husband doesn't like it. They say, Oh, so you're that much in control of your husband. I don't listen to him in this way. And you know, they joke about it. And a woman who is being obedient to her husband trying to please her husband, she is discouraged from remaining obedient to Him, isn't it so that we promote the culture of, you know, just fulfilling your own wishes, fulfilling your own desires, and not taking care of the likes and dislikes on the other? So we have to be very careful about the jokes that we crack with one
another as well, because it could lead to bad relationships between people.
And we see that where this is applicable to both the man and woman, husband and wife. That Yes, they are to take care of each other's likes and dislikes, however, not in disobedience to Allah. The same applies to all other relationships as well. Okay? Because some of you might say, oh, we're not married. So you know, but any other relationship even whether it is your friends or it is your parents or it is your co workers or is your boss anyone? What do we learn that where you should be trying your best to make them happy? dub De Lima, lotta as logic
You should be trying to make them happy, make them pleased. But you cannot neglect what Allah subhanaw taala wants from you. You cannot violate the limits that Allah has set for you.
In surah Allah either and number eight we learn while a demon nakum Shanna, an omen Allah, Allah.
The hatred of a people should not prevent you from being just the new Acropolis taqwa be just because that is closer to the Aqua. So in enmity and in love, a person should maintain balance. And how does that come? By keeping within the limits that Allah has set
or the federal the law who will come to him later amen eco. Allah has already ordained for you. The dissolution of your oats will law Humala come and Allah is your protector will who will help him and he is the knowing the wise father. What does father mean? To make something obligatory, to make something mandatory.
The word father literally means to put a mark on something in order to cut it. And in particular is to put a mark on something that is hard like for example a piece of wood, hard and solid.
And in the Quran, the word fault is used in different ways. Sometimes it gives the meaning of making mandatory making worship making necessary like for example, in ela the Florida legal Quran, indeed the one who has made the Quran mandatory on you to convey to practice to recite.
Secondly, the word Florida is also used for appointing something fixing something like for example, what are the photos from Luna for yoga you have appointed for them for the women or for the law, meaning Amash.
Similarly, the word photo is also used for firmly intending to do something from and photography in alhaja whoever firmly intends to perform the Hajj in the sacred months,
then the word further is also used for removing the prohibition from something and making it permissible removing the prohibition from something and making it permissible.
So something that was not allowed before now it is allowed.
So over here are the photo de la hula come to hand letter a mannequin Allah has already followed or for you to dissolve your oath. What does it mean by that, that he has made it mandatory on you has eliminated mandatory on us to dissolve our oats? No, but rather what it means by federal law is that he has lifted the ban from it and has made it permissible, meaning it is allowed for you to dissolve your oats the fourth meaning that I gave you, that's the meaning over here that it is allowed for you it is permissible for you.
And the handler is from newsletters her lamb lamb, to make something Hillel to untie to open up and over here to hand letter a monocle means to dissolve an oath, an oath that a person swore to break it, how will a person break it? Allah subhana wa tada has already guided us with regards to that. He has allowed that for us. And he has also guided us with regards to that.
And where's that guidance we learned inserted into it number 18 is that when a person makes a promise of doing something and then later on, he says no, I'm not gonna do it or vice versa. Then what does he have to do? Break the oath and also give the kafala and what is that? We learned through the 1989 that law you know common law would be love with a man equal? Well, I can you can be man I've got to meet a man fucka Farah to who is Ramu ashati masakan min oseltamivir tutor emona alikum So how much is it? feeding 10 needy people what you would generally feed your family, okay, sweater home or clothing them out the hirakata or freeing a slave. So there are three options What
are they either feeding 10 people or clothing them? Or Thirdly, freeing a slave.
So Katana de la hula contain letter a manickam. And we see that the Prophet sallallahu Sallam at this point he freed a slave as an explanation
that he broke the earth he had honey again. And what did he do? He freed a slave as expiation.
Well law humo law come and Allah is your molar. He is your helper. He is your guardian. And wahoo and Arlene will Hakeem and he is annoying and the wise mean he's the one who knows what is of benefit to his creation and what is not of benefit to his creation.
And if you think
About an A person may wonder, because some people consider it as interference that why is there so much interference even in these matters? Only? Why do we have to follow the commands of Allah even when it comes to these issues? Some people get irritated by that. What's the big deal? Why do we have to follow the commands of Allah even in this regard, even in that regard, every single matter? What's the reason that Allah is our lien? And Hakeem, he knows you very well. This is why he has guided you with regards to this matter as well. And he is Hakeem that there is a reason behind every command that He has given wisdom. And every command he has given there is good in it for you.
So what are demon, Hakeem, he is annoying, and the wise.
We listen to the recitation of these two if and then we'll extract lessons from
So what do we learn in these is
that we see, yeah, you have to be you, Allah subhanaw taala is correcting His Messenger, but how in a very gentle in a very affectionate manner? What does that teach us that if we see somebody doing something wrong, then what is our responsibility that we must also correct them? But how should we correct them harshly rudely? No, that's not a good way, we should also correct them gently, because that is the way of Allah subhanaw taala.
And also notice that the Prophet sallallahu Sallam was the Messenger of Allah right? It shows to us how much Allah subhanaw taala honors him that if Allah is addressing him with so much gentleness, then we should also keep in mind the status of the other, the position of the other and speak to them accordingly.
Sometimes it happens, that your parents may be doing something wrong. And at that time, it's not appropriate to say Why are you doing this? Don't you know you're disobeying Allah? Know, be respectful. Keep in mind the status of the other and talk to them accordingly, respectfully. What else do we learn these ayah
that a person must be extremely careful in his life, in his dealings in his affairs,
that we see over here that the Prophet said a lot of sort of made something lawful unlawful for himself, just to please his wives, but that was not okay. It was not permissible.
And why is it that it was not okay? Because who was the Prophet sallallahu sallam,
the leader, the teacher,
and whatever he did, would become an example for the oma, isn't it to whatever he did, we are to follow it is an utter we are to do activities of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam and also utara it is obedience to command and at virus, whether or not he's commanded. Did you follow it anyway? You follow his Sunnah.
So this is why it's such a big deal. Because you may wonder what's the big deal? He made it unlawful for himself? But why was he reprimanded for it? Because if he made something lawful unlawful for himself, that meant it would be unlawful for the oma as well, to understand something in which Allah has placed Shiva in something that is so beneficial for people that would become unlawful.
It would be unrighteous to have honey, the understand.
So this is why he was not allowed to do that. But this shows to us how careful a person must be in his dealings with other people.
Especially when he's in a position where he is knowledgeable, because other people will follow. Isn't it? So? Like, for example with you also, people would say she has studied the Quran. She's a student of knowledge. So if she's doing it, it must be okay.
If she's not doing it, it won't be okay. You understand. So, once a person has knowledge, once a person comes in a position of authority of leadership, then he must become extremely careful. Because what he does will be taken as an example by the rest of the people.
And people will take what you do as an evidence as a delete. So if you're doing good, they will follow in that good. But if you're doing something wrong, then they will also follow in that and who will be responsible for it, you will be responsible for it.
So it shows to us that a person must be very, very careful.
What else do we learn
that something that Allah has made lawful, we are not allowed to make it unlawful for ourselves, for whatever reason.
And it's one thing to stay away from something because you don't like it. You don't need it. But it's another thing to make it unlawful on oneself, declared unlawful on oneself and then declared unlawful on other people as well.
Like, for example, you don't get along with someone. So you don't talk to them as much. But then you tell your children, you tell your husband, you tell your friends, don't talk to her. This is not right. You understand?
Similarly, sometimes what people do is that for no genuine reason, they have made for instance, some things hard on themselves.
Like for example, some girls, it says Oh, they have made it hard on themselves to have fish to have meat.
I don't have meat. I don't have fish. I mean, why? When Allah has made it lawful for you, why do you make it unlawful for yourself? You understand? Okay, you don't like it? That's something else. But you don't have to say I don't have fish. I don't have meat. You know, it's like saying that I never have it. I don't have it. I will never have it. This is incorrect. She just like it avoided, but don't make it such a big deal. Okay. Then another lesson that we learned in these ayat is that the Prophet sallallahu sallam, he was a human being.
How do we learn about this? That when have son I shall dinner on Houma. When they said to him, we smell Mullah feed. And when they made that plan, did he know about it? He didn't know about it.
Because if he knew about it from before, he wouldn't listen to the correct. So it shows that he did not have knowledge of the unseen and we see that he would get affected by what people said to him. He would get affected by what people said to him.
Then we also learn in these ads, that Allah alone has the right to make something lawful and unlawful. He has not even given this right to His Messenger.
He has not even given this right to his messenger who makes something lawful or unlawful. Allah subhanaw taala alone.
So for example, if we find about something being held on from the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu sallam, and it's not mentioned in the Quran, does that mean it's not how
if he has declared something as how long that is, in accordance to what Allah dot him, okay?
Because the prophets Allah said it would never declare something Hillel as how long or how long as Hillel, whatever he told us was according to what Allah told him.
The other thing that we learned these ayat is that there should be balanced in one's love and hate in the sense that if someone loves a person, it doesn't mean they're just doing everything to please them. And they're even neglecting what Allah subhanaw taala has commanded? No, there should be balance.
And this also shows to us the Prophet sallallahu Sallam did not compose the Quran himself. This was not his own word. This was not his own fabrication. Where do we learn that from? He's being corrected.
You understand? He's being corrected, because if it was his own speech, if it was his own words, then he would not be correcting himself. You understand? The fact that he's being corrected, shows that this book is from Allah.
Then we also see in these ayat that the wives of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam who were the normal human beings,
so they had normal emotions as well,
especially amongst themselves, where they were friendly with one another, like, for example, I should have settled the learner. I mean, they made a plan together. So it shows they were very friendly with each other. But at the same time, they also had some feelings of dislike for others or feelings of envy. Why? Because they were normal human beings. It was only natural. But we learn that when a person becomes envious of the other, then it leads him away from the truth. You understand?
A person may be extremely pious, extremely righteous, but envy may lead to making huge mistakes.
This is why a person must constantly strive to clean his heart and the worst was either comes from the heart, don't
Just follow it, control yourself, check yourself. Anything else you'd like to share before we continue
that we see just to please the other, we should not be swearing oaths because there is a kafala for it. And this cafaro is not something small, feeding 10 people buying 10 outfits and giving them to the poor, freeing a slave. This is not something small, this is something huge, which shows that breaking an oath is something major. So we should be very careful about swearing oaths as well. What else?
Yes, the importance of knowing the likes and dislikes of your spouse knowing them, so that you can do them or avoid them in the first place. And as you come to know them, don't get irritated off. You know, this is so difficult. I can't even do this. I can't even wear this. Like, for example, you like something, you put it on. And your husband passes a very funny joke on the outfit that you're wearing. Like, hey, this is not fair. He doesn't like it. Fine. I don't care about his likes know, what's the big deal. Please him make him happy. And it will build your relationship. You get rewarded for it. How careful we are when we go to a party. We wear those clothes, which everybody's
going to like, we wear that makeup that jewelry, which we know is acceptable is according to the right standard. But when it comes to the husband, what's the big deal? I don't care. He doesn't like this color too bad. He doesn't like this pattern too bad. No, not too bad. If anyone has a right, he has it. Sometimes they don't have an idea about fashion. Very true. It's quite possible. You wear some clothes, and they're like, What on earth is this? And sometimes they don't notice. They like simplicity. Or they're too simple. They're too aloof. Okay, but you can still do something to please them, make them happy.
Whatever you know about your spouse, whatever little you know, keep that in mind, be considered about that. Don't take it as a burden. You understand? Because sometimes we will take it as a burden. He doesn't like this food. I like it. You understand people take it as a burden. Don't take it as a burden. When you consider the likes and dislikes of the other person, then it helps you come together. obeying the husband should not just be in matters that you like. But it should also be matters that you don't really like as much.
Because if you only obey Him in matters that you like then in fact, were you being pleasing just yourself.
We listen to the recitation