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How To Choose Life Partner

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Said Rageah

Channel: Said Rageah

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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In the law Why?

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Why should one know Mohammed Abu hora? surah?

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Yeah you're Liliana hamana tough en la hapa to a party he won at a modern India one tomassini Moon

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yeah yohanna sutopo comunidad de Hanako minocin wahida ohada Caminha Xhosa. webid min humare jarron kathira one is

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what have a la junta de Tessa I don't wanna be one at hum in LA Canada you como rocky bomb?

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Yeah Johan Latina mucho la Koo Poland's ready to use the American way of la comida Nova con woman in a world of Sula who falls and avena

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fandom and the fate of the California Common Law Hayden that he had made in southern law while he was sending them

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to Hakuna Matata

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now, the brothers blah blah blah Hey,

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as you can all remember what I stated yesterday

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they titled this talk

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a job or the job of a Muslim woman.

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And usually I like to surprise

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I like to surprise the organizers

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and change things sometimes last minutes

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I like surprises.

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So, they asked me since they already

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reprint or pre print

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the CDs and the DVDs of the talk I should address a bit about hijab before I get into the subject inshallah, which is how to choose a life partner.

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I don't think any muslimah and his sister or any brother was sitting here or Muslim who is not aware of rulings of Asia we all know the job is most

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we all know the job is

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my only concern is the hijab that some of the sisters in the other in other places I mean

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I have some observation and concerns about that.

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Number one, if you go sorta to noon, if you go to

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if you go on a long ride, he will sell them we do know what the job is

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we know

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and the purpose of hijab is well known

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but some of the sisters

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they want to be more hijab at

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the same time they want to be dress in a fashion on style.

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So what do they do?

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They work the job like this and they show the ears

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and some of them don't have that pretty ears but they showed the IRS

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today do

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others

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they are what I call sin jack Hey john.

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You know sin si n it means in

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German Arabic means the bringer or the thing that brings so they wear a hijab that itself will bring a sin so I call them sin jab, jab.

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What do they do? They were up to here.

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And of course they don't work together in a proper way every few minutes he have to flip her job and wrap it around her head. And then we do it again and again and again. All the time. My nursing her to the such system to a such a sister that this is not a job.

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That is not

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our observation that I have

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is the

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buyer

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that is some sisters were

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and what do they do they were I buys a home in law fair. And then at the top of the ABA. They were sweater that is so tight.

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And the zipper up this sweater. So she looks when she's walking, especially the wintertime. She looks one of those hot air balloons, you know how they look them upside down?

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It looks so fun.

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So that's also

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that's also

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an issue with the sisters and the hijab. The proper hijab sisters. Is the hijab, as some of you call some of you don't like and is that get banned from head to toe? That covers everything. This is the proper HIV shala brothers. Are you happy with the hijabs

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is good to go? Now let's go back to the subject

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which is how to choose life partners.

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Three things

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one, for my last talk last night

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is something which

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is similar than

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you only talking about us.

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And it's not true.

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See, usually I don't try to

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usually

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I don't try to

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entertain people. I usually do what I think this is the appropriate thing.

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So yes, sir, Mr. Mulvaney

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I really, that's not my aim. But there is a problem that we need to solve.

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Yo, yo show, when do we have to put them aside I say, listen, wait, and you took your time. Wait. Now let the young people now benefit from your guidance, but at the same time, do everything based on the Sharia.

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to

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some of the young brothers they said

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you told the older brothers just take a second and third and fourth wives and you did not leave anything for us.

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This is the younger boys.

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And some Hannah law. I did not say this. However, if you are good young man, I'm sure the system would fight

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over you. They will definitely fight over you.

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Number three, some of the brothers they said we have a list of their brothers and hamdulillah who are ready for marriage

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who was ready to sign and Mashallah we finished we have finished a contract here.

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Everything that I say tonight pleases you, then we can proceed inshallah. And we can do a group marriage and hamdulillah and take a photo group group photo.

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Let us continue with what we talked about, I did not finish last night.

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So, I will talk some of the things that a sister

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may look into a brother before she proceeds with him. First I will say this marriage brothers and sister is like establishing a company

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establishing a business. So, you have a shareholder and you have another shareholder. So these two shareholders when they get together, they want to establish a standing household. Now the capital of this business or this company is a love that they have for one another is Sakina that is needed as a loss of Hannah with data set in the Quran. Who Allah, Allah Takumi Neff sinuata

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min house Xhosa, Leah schooner.

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Leah Spooner, Ilya. So the purpose of the marriage is to find peace, tranquility, happiness, and to pursue a better life and not to worry about some of the issues.

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Also from the purpose of marriage, that women are always in the balance and we are the best for women, which means we hide the faults of one another.

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Now

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Beautiful.

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Now, let us continue the things that the sisters would look for

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a brother.

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From tonight we start stay look for what is known as Shama or nobility.

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What does it mean? See this young lady, she really wants to get married to this man who is dignified.

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Who when they talk, and because by the way, whether we like it or not, they do talk a lot together.

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So, when they talk, he won't come to his friends and say, Listen, I spoke to so and so.

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She told me the size of her shoes and the size of his socks and the size of her, you know, curtains, all that she was so long when she talks to him, not talk about him.

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This is called she hammer. This is nobody she wants a noble man who would not expose or talk about.

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Also, in this, she doesn't want a man who wants anything in return.

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Men, they will talk to this girl. And in return, he wants her to do certain things for him. Women do not like that.

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Women like the men who present himself in his status, and that he is himself a noble man.

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The second thing is the women like sisters like and this is a well known fact is they like a man who will sacrifice anything for them.

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So sit here with me.

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Yeah, see the hands? Absolutely.

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They agree Why? Because he was a man who was sacrifice. His you know, his buddies, his guy. The guys are getting together tonight to watch a football to watch his game. And she says listen, you know, I want this and this. He wants. She wants him to drop everything and come running like a bullet.

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Coming home. She was someone who was sacrificed his time. His desire, the things that he prefers for her.

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And of course, that would increase her love for him.

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By the way, this is from the son of nimbyism alone while he was alive.

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Remember when have

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they got jealous for one of the other wives of the messenger? overlock. Why? The messenger overlong he loved honey.

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He loved honey. I should have so couldn't provide honey for him.

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But they knew one of his wives. Every time he goes to her. She gives him honey. So they get jealous. So they say let us play. What should we do every time he comes from her house? Just tell him Oh my god, did you eat honey?

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And say yes, what's wrong with me? Your breath is funny. This is one of the messages I should have said and then he says Really? And then he goes into the wife and she says

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Did you eat honey? He said Why? She said because you smell funny. The

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other day I would never eat honey.

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This is sacrifice right.

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And a lot of said yeah you have to have a mama.

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Yeah, now imagine helps and it shall be a long one.

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You know how proud they felt that the messenger overlord left honey that he loves for them. Just for them. Women love the man who was sacrificed things for them.

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Other thing that they like

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as a man and we talked a bit about this is a man who's romantic and loving.

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women.

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Women

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love to hear the word. I love you.

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Right?

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Men.

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He will say to her what I say I love you to lesson What do you want?

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I said to you last week? She said no, no. But I want you to assure me that you love me. So I want to hear twice a day. And it was a what is is a medicine but there was

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We finish, you know, I live you from last week. And it's done.

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No. See, women are sometimes and hamdulillah. And they are very, very good at this and we have lost our reward them.

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She can sacrifice everything and anything for you. She will do anything for you. She will be patient with you. If you just let her here has been saying, you say, I love you, I love you, I love you.

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And by the way, when you become professional in this,

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you say I love you, even when she's cursing you

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beat

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me, I love your honey.

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You know what happens?

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You know, she will feel like oh my god, you know, he's so sweet. He's so sweet.

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And the only reason that you say I love you is because you don't want to go back to this cold weather and get the milk

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is there for the sake of Allah.

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But even then, knowing that to hear from you, I love you is something nice.

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Another thing that they like, which is a romantic part

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is leaving loving notes.

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Leaving loving notes.

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You know, just on the table,

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sending an email, I miss you, honey, and you really did not even miss her.

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I miss your honey.

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And then when you go home, everything is beautiful.

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The other thing that would make this relationship more romantic.

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This is writing a poem.

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How many of you can write a poem

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Mashallah see women love words.

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One of the one of the brothers who came,

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I said to her, I said to him, listen, go write a poem for your wife.

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And sometimes I give bad advice.

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So he wrote, Hey, yo, hey, Yo, I love you. You're so fat.

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Right?

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Now,

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for him, of course.

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He is really expressing that this is what he knows.

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And the young lady, Mashallah, she was really fun.

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So what happened?

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Both of them came to the office.

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And she is mad, and he is so mad. He said, I did exactly what you told me. And I said, What did you do? He said, I said, Oh, yo, yo, I love you, you're so fat.

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And I'm looking at her. So I have to turn my face away. Because she was really taking the whole couch.

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If you have to write something nice,

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home, then you make sure that you stay the psychology of your wife. And by the way, this habit of loving yourself along rather he will send them they used to love one another and write poems for one another.

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Remember, when I

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was eight, she married

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the loved one. And the She was beautiful. And she was a poet. And he was a poet. And he was a poet. So, all day long what they do, they used to say a poem. She he will recite a poem love poem for her, and she will respond another love poem, and sometimes you would miss Allah. Listen, her poems. And one day after Salatu Juma

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Abubakar saw him coming to the Salatu Jamali.

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Man, he's a avatar or daddy, you know, I was really writing a poem for my wife and she was saying the poem and we missed the Salah. He said, divorce her.

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On this one.

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He had to listen to his father. So he divorced her.

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She was beautiful. And she was a poet and he was in love madly in love with her.

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Son, he became like a person who was insane.

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He would walk through the streets of Medina reciting the poem of his ex wife, you know, he is, you know, tears on his

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cheap, you know love homes

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felt sad for him. And he said, Okay, go take her back. However, don't ever miss another.

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Another Juma

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so the love poem was only between the salon

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between McRib and Aisha was a love poem, but when the other hand is called there is no love poem at all. So if you can do this is perfectly fine A man should do this also sisters love

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a man who is committed and loyal.

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See, this is something that is so important for women

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when you go out and your wife is walking next to you and you know doing shopping

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and you Mashallah doing you looking around don't think your wife she's looking around to you know, she's looking at you

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she's looking at you, and Mashallah, we're picking our potatoes and tomatoes, and you pick a nice tomato and and beautiful lady pacifier like.

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Right?

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She is not looking at anywhere else, but your eyes.

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So

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women,

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in this case, they don't want a man who looks around they want someone who's so committed.

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Who is only looking at her who's telling her how beautiful she is. And then hamdulillah This is one thing that assesses me.

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off of others, we talked about other points.

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They love the man who is so forgiving.

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So forgiving. Even the older generation nowadays and hamdulillah all fathers, they know this aspect very well. They master that art. But a lot of people don't know that your wife, she knows when she made a mistake. But at the same time she wants you she wants you to forgive her. overlook everything that she said everything that she did, and just start a new page. If you do this, she would cherish

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she will honor you, and she will love you. I'm so proud of I'm the son of Navy. Some of my worry was that you know what happened?

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You know, he said that to those 15 guys do not come up the mountain, but they did. Have you ever read a hadith or story missing your overlord? blaming those and say the only reason we lost Babylon five years ago is because of those Sahaba never. They made a mistake that he moved on here in your marriage life. If your wife makes mistake, you move on.

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You don't Masha Allah, some of the brothers Mashallah December 1994.

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When we were in a second, so even they, you asked your cousin as your brother, you lie.

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Forget, don't mention any of this, pretend that never happened, and move on. And that's

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one of the wives

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and this is he said zoji

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either

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what either hi Roger,

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whether yesterday

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when he comes, he knows me do whatever I want to do. And when he leaves he behaves like a man.

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And he reminded me that is

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the last one.

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Which I will tell you later in life, you remind

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also the enlike because I really want to get into the some of the others are waiting for the sister.

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They love the man who is truth, truthfulness, who was truthful, and he is clear in his approach. Don't like cutting corners don't like cheating, don't like fabricating things, but who was very honest, you know, I did not come on time because I was talking to Abdulkadir and we were chit chatting and I missed the appointment. They like those kind of people. Also, they love

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they love

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them.

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They love you to lead by example.

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Not merely outward.

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Know You should become the most children. She was

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Children before you come home, you have to teach by example, not by words. And when you say to your wife do this, you should be the one. You already should be doing this and be engaging that all the time.

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This is important. I have almost 25 different points of how to be a role model. But we are a thing person time and we don't want to go over all this.

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Women also like brothers.

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And then

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who would never mentioned anyone else in her press?

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Never. The biggest mistake that we do as men is we and we mentioned otherwise other women and the presence of our wives. Hi, y'all.

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Mira

00:26:02--> 00:26:02

Mesa,

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Masha, Allah.

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And Gera.

00:26:09--> 00:26:12

sobriety is risky.

00:26:16--> 00:26:17

If she has a knife,

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if your wife have a knife, you should be in another room.

00:26:24--> 00:26:31

Don't ever mention. Don't ever say Oh, look at that woman. She was dressed fine. She was dressed Nice job.

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What are you looking for?

00:26:37--> 00:26:38

Why don't

00:26:40--> 00:27:05

whatever other people do, that's their problem. Don't even mention other women in the presence of your wives. This is the biggest mistake that as men we do but we thought we think by reminding her or showing what other women did. We are teaching her so she can improve herself. No, you digging a grave for yourself if you ever do that,

00:27:06--> 00:27:10

trust me I've been around long enough to understand and learn.

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Now let us see

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the things that may cherish

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and encourage

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the love that your wife may have with for you. One

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t spent quality time together.

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Women love they obsessed with quality time.

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Spent quality time get out of the kids as I usually say take them to the zoo and leave them and just bring your wife back and go out and spend some time together. No one else or take them to your neighbors and spend time with her and then go to a park or come home and and hamdulillah enjoy and sit next to your wife

00:28:08--> 00:28:09

next year Why?

00:28:11--> 00:28:13

One of the sisters Somali sister

00:28:15--> 00:28:16

gear chili again

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you know one of those guys they sponsor them because they couldn't find anyone to marry that locally. So they said they bring someone

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they import someone

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so

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she wants to show her husband that she loves him.

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So what does she do? So

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Bella elevate

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you have no respect.

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Get away from me.

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This is not the No. This is your wife. Yeah, maybe I'm not encouraging that. Maybe a little bit too far. But

00:29:07--> 00:29:07

what what happened

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was the Islamic of Sonia ganglion opening

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lurking in his home our D to be compassion and a shell was coming then.

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The second thing is

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the second thing is

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and this is probably maybe some of the Islamic academic aid going on. But

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imagine

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if

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and this is by the way, I don't know how to end

00:29:47--> 00:29:52

it is okay. Now one of the things is it's okay to be romantic.

00:29:55--> 00:29:59

What he used to do, he used to take shower and bath with his

00:30:00--> 00:30:00

why

00:30:02--> 00:30:03

America cool America

00:30:09--> 00:30:10

right

00:30:12--> 00:30:14

now emerging is fancier and borrow

00:30:16--> 00:30:18

all the money in america

00:30:23--> 00:30:24

this is the sooner

00:30:25--> 00:30:26

This is

00:30:28--> 00:30:29

so good.

00:30:34--> 00:30:34

All three

00:30:36--> 00:30:37

cash no credit

00:30:39--> 00:30:41

he will reverse on the swap.

00:30:51--> 00:30:53

There is no way

00:31:08--> 00:31:10

there is no way in life

00:31:15--> 00:31:17

to agree that this is from the Sunnah.

00:31:19--> 00:31:20

As a matter of fact,

00:31:21--> 00:31:23

one of the halaqa that I was teaching

00:31:24--> 00:31:33

the children went back home and they said, Well, she said is sooner to take bath together. Dad, I never see you taking bath with my mother.

00:31:38--> 00:31:39

Oh my god.

00:31:46--> 00:31:48

Do you know what the teacher what children

00:31:49--> 00:31:49

do you?

00:31:52--> 00:31:58

Now we became the boy chorus because we they thought we teaching them something.

00:32:00--> 00:32:01

Super now.

00:32:06--> 00:32:24

Now, this is one of the things. One of the things. That is from the son of nimbyism, a lot of people said, I know it's not for everyone. It's not for anyone. Not everyone, but it depends on the personality of the wife.

00:32:26--> 00:32:33

Also, one of the other thing that really women your wife would love you is if you help her around the house,

00:32:34--> 00:32:38

help your wife You know, cleaning.

00:32:39--> 00:32:43

Taking care of the children, helping them around the house

00:32:45--> 00:32:46

is on the sun.

00:32:47--> 00:32:53

with men we know from the sooner that a man can have four wives.

00:32:54--> 00:33:07

That's the center that we all know. And every gathering that we go we talk about that fight for wives for wives, you know, Nino Gabbar, Konami, la mesa had been afforded to really lead the way we cannot even handle the first one.

00:33:08--> 00:33:14

And women the only sooner that they know is my husband, she helped me around the house.

00:33:15--> 00:33:43

As a matter of fact, both of them should be aware and inform about this. One of the sisters who came to complain about her husband, she said my husband, he has to follow the Sunnah. What is the Sunnah he has to cut the meat like the Messenger of Allah, he has to sweep the floor microsatellites on the long run, he was saying, he has to do housework, he has to be militant, he has to take care of himself and so on. I said fine.

00:33:44--> 00:34:07

So, to prove a point, I admonished the brother, I say you call yourself a Muslim. You call yourself Sunni. You call yourself this, you should do this. You should do this. You should clean the house. And I said to the system, do you agree? She said yes. I said he has to wash the dishes. Do you agree? Yes, he has to do this. He has to

00:34:09--> 00:34:09

know

00:34:13--> 00:34:15

I say sister but this is also some

00:34:18--> 00:34:20

sisters they were selective some

00:34:21--> 00:34:26

and the brothers didn't want selective singer. But if we want the Sunnah is always

00:34:27--> 00:34:33

also from the Sunnah. What did you learn is to give a gift

00:34:36--> 00:34:36

to

00:34:39--> 00:34:49

give a gift to one another, it will love one another. Now the first person who is deserving this love is your spouse, especially your wife,

00:34:50--> 00:34:51

especially your wife.

00:34:52--> 00:34:56

So give her a gift. Send her gifts because

00:34:58--> 00:35:00

that will change the mood of

00:35:00--> 00:35:00

Your wife,

00:35:02--> 00:35:07

but get her a gift that she can use a gift that she can use.

00:35:08--> 00:35:12

The other thing that the women love, they love to be praised.

00:35:13--> 00:35:15

They love a model, how much time do I have?

00:35:20--> 00:35:23

They love to be praised. So easy Allah

00:35:25--> 00:35:27

praise your wife as much as you can.

00:35:30--> 00:35:34

Only she doesn't know how to cook anything, Mashallah The food is delicious.

00:35:35--> 00:35:36

Had they

00:35:37--> 00:35:45

must also clean the house is so clean, you know, issues, just praise your wife left and right.

00:35:46--> 00:35:49

Because when you trace her 10 times,

00:35:50--> 00:35:51

if you corrupt her once,

00:35:53--> 00:35:55

she won't feel offended.

00:35:56--> 00:36:09

But if you criticize it 10 times, and you praise her once, then that praise will not have any effects in your marriage life. So praise her as much as much as you can.

00:36:10--> 00:36:31

I have almost 38 case left for the issue that I want to get to the brothers size because the brothers have been waiting. And it's not right for me to talk about the what the sisters need, and when the sister like or the sister wants without talking about the brothers and the need of the brothers, which is essential and very important.

00:36:33--> 00:36:34

Brothers.

00:36:35--> 00:36:36

First of all,

00:36:39--> 00:36:42

when you look when you want to marry a woman,

00:36:43--> 00:36:45

first thing that you should look at

00:36:47--> 00:36:48

her D

00:36:50--> 00:36:54

because in the long run, he was enemy's true, he said to

00:36:56--> 00:37:17

marry women for four reasons for things for her beauty for her status for her well, and then he said and for her Dean. And then he said, Hold on to the one with the dean on to the one with the dean. Why? Because well may vanish, beauty, she would get

00:37:18--> 00:37:32

status, imminent, or hell. So marry the one that has been. And by the way, as we mentioned, ager and the livers of the sisters is the

00:37:34--> 00:37:36

woman that you should look for

00:37:38--> 00:37:39

is a woman

00:37:41--> 00:37:42

who has

00:37:43--> 00:37:45

an know some of the sisters.

00:37:46--> 00:37:47

Listen to this brothers.

00:37:48--> 00:37:55

Some of the sisters some of the mothers may disagree with me. But I'm open for disagreement.

00:37:57--> 00:37:59

women whom there

00:38:00--> 00:38:01

is not high.

00:38:04--> 00:38:09

If the wife is marrying you because of your money, she's not for you.

00:38:10--> 00:38:17

But if she's marrying you because of your deen and because of your character or because of your irresponsible individual

00:38:18--> 00:38:19

agenda, move on.

00:38:21--> 00:38:23

Go ahead and marry your sister.

00:38:25--> 00:38:28

Do you remember the story of

00:38:31--> 00:38:32

your mom and what I

00:38:35--> 00:38:36

was saying?

00:38:37--> 00:38:40

He was a blessing blessed with a daughter in an

00:38:42--> 00:38:46

army, she was beautiful. But she was also very knowledgeable.

00:38:48--> 00:38:53

And very the Amir of the country, the ameerul momineen he proposed

00:38:55--> 00:38:57

for medical marijuana

00:38:59--> 00:39:09

for his son and when he said when he said No, I will not marry my daughter to a man who may cause her to lose her Dean, not the cause

00:39:10--> 00:39:14

of your money that I will give you my daughter I want you to I don't want you to marry my daughter.

00:39:17--> 00:39:21

Another wealthy man No. Another famous man. No.

00:39:22--> 00:39:23

Finally,

00:39:24--> 00:39:27

a young student by the name of Wada

00:39:32--> 00:39:36

who was a student of St. Thomas. He was absent

00:39:37--> 00:39:39

from the halaqa for three days.

00:39:41--> 00:39:47

He came back and then he said, What have you been called? My wife died.

00:39:48--> 00:39:51

He said why don't you tell us how we can help you.

00:39:52--> 00:39:53

He said I didn't want to bother him.

00:39:54--> 00:39:56

Then he wanted to get up.

00:39:59--> 00:39:59

He said

00:40:00--> 00:40:10

Either after the holidays, or he searched him, did you get married after your wife is now marry me? I only have three, two to three days.

00:40:12--> 00:40:18

So he said, marry you my daughter. The man said I was shocked.

00:40:19--> 00:40:21

I was shocked.

00:40:22--> 00:40:23

You just say no to

00:40:25--> 00:40:25

one.

00:40:27--> 00:40:27

And

00:40:29--> 00:40:40

you want me to marry your daughter? I was shocked. She said, Yes. Two people were witnesses. He did the nikka for to Durham. And he moved on.

00:40:43--> 00:40:45

This student said

00:40:47--> 00:40:52

he said, I went to my house, not believing that what happened was reality.

00:40:53--> 00:40:58

said he'd been married man's daughter for two Durham's. Yes, why?

00:40:59--> 00:41:10

Because I shall be alone and stated more than three ahaadeeth from the Baraka of the young ladies, that her expenses is minimum.

00:41:12--> 00:41:24

From the Baraka from the Baraka of the marriage is full the expenses and the method of that young lady is minimum not high, but low.

00:41:26--> 00:41:40

As soon as you you know as this young man to pay so much money and do this wedding and do the nikka and Uncle key and this this this, then that wedding that marriage has no Baraka

00:41:41--> 00:41:44

beside the head it has no Baraka.

00:41:45--> 00:41:50

So, you should look for someone who's asking nothing.

00:41:52--> 00:41:55

It is very strange, very strange.

00:41:57--> 00:42:05

That our sisters and the sisters you should listen to this. When they marrying none Somali.

00:42:07--> 00:42:08

So simple.

00:42:10--> 00:42:11

The wedding is so simple.

00:42:13--> 00:42:15

Marina Del Sol, Donna Allahu Akbar.

00:42:17--> 00:42:22

Akaka Santoni. I want this I want that we have a sister in our community.

00:42:23--> 00:42:26

She married an enormous Muslim.

00:42:28--> 00:42:32

Guy. Nothing is wrong. I Love New Muslims. I love them.

00:42:33--> 00:42:35

She married him.

00:42:36--> 00:42:44

I'm performing the Nika and I said, and what is your mom? Her brother? Is that what is your mother, your sister?

00:42:46--> 00:42:55

their brother? He said, I asked him. I said, What is your wife? Your wife's mother? He said 25 cents.

00:42:59--> 00:43:03

A quarter of $1 20. I said, say that again?

00:43:04--> 00:43:14

He said 25 cents. I mean $25 2500 250 25 you know 1000 no 25 cents.

00:43:17--> 00:43:25

And then I said can you please go on as a sister because listen, 25 cents. He won't even buy your lollipop.

00:43:27--> 00:43:39

You know, what do you want to do? What? 25 cents? Of course she paid righteous. And she said no good. Cool. I'll talk a lot. I said fine. 25 cent. Martinelli. egg donor. Okay.

00:43:41--> 00:43:53

So Hannah 25 cents. he marry her. He put on in a basement. her grandmother's basement. He doesn't live with her. He said he wants to see me come boxing will be la la.

00:43:54--> 00:43:55

winter time.

00:43:57--> 00:44:01

With her job and Jean Webb. He will bring it to the mission on a bike.

00:44:03--> 00:44:10

One of the also Molly were really cool. You're gonna catch catonian cannabis Gala. busara.

00:44:13--> 00:44:14

True.

00:44:16--> 00:44:20

Some had a lot. He left the country he divorced her.

00:44:22--> 00:44:23

She comes back.

00:44:25--> 00:44:31

She says she'll say you know everything. I want you to write me a letter of divorce without a receipt ADC.

00:44:33--> 00:44:45

Okay, hi, Ernie. shala McFaul so why? Because I'm getting I'm getting married. I say Allahu Akbar hamdulillah. Now I thought Masha Allah and say, and how much is the matter of this time?

00:44:46--> 00:44:49

She said 25,000

00:44:50--> 00:44:51

should he labaton

00:44:53--> 00:44:58

$1. I said he must be somebody. He say he's my cousin.

00:45:07--> 00:45:11

Morocco my cousin email don't want to have us when the Somali guy comes.

00:45:14--> 00:45:15

He never comes is okay.

00:45:17--> 00:45:36

So it shouldn't be this way. It should be the Maha journal, something acceptable. Something that is decent, something associates happy with. And the brother is happy with Allah subhanho wa Taala would help both. If this is what they intend to do is to protect themselves.

00:45:38--> 00:45:51

this other thing that bothers should look into it. And I know the sister would be mad and extremely upset with this one. But I really have to say, I've been mmm for over 10 years.

00:45:53--> 00:46:01

And I came to conclusion that the reason that divorce takes place with a certain group of people is because of 123.

00:46:03--> 00:46:04

If you can

00:46:05--> 00:46:11

do not marry a young lady, whom her mother was divorced with diversity.

00:46:13--> 00:46:15

Ah, see?

00:46:17--> 00:46:18

I'll tell you why.

00:46:19--> 00:46:29

I know some sisters have been abused, mistreated, under the hamdulillah. Those they have right. And we should not blame the young lady for this or for the mother for that.

00:46:30--> 00:46:54

But in the West, what happened is, we came from Somalia, our women they found independency a lot of them not all of them and what they did, they love their husbands. So the divorce took place. This young lady now she doesn't know the problem and the struggle that her mother went through. So she thinks divorce is so simple. My mother survived. I can survive.

00:46:55--> 00:46:59

My mother is diversity. I can be divorced more. I don't care this man.

00:47:01--> 00:47:06

She already has experience. And that's where they always say, we're

00:47:07--> 00:47:14

gonna Yeah, I'm studying. I'm getting my education. When I get divorced mom, she's already planning to get divorce.

00:47:15--> 00:47:45

She's already planning to get divorce. Why? Because her mother or overseas is divorcing. So when you're getting married, I'm not saying we should judge sisters like this. I know a lot of them would get out of the list, get off the list. But I'm saying if the sisters parent mother, or a sister is divorced, then you should be careful because most likely she would take the issue of divorce. Very light, but not all the time.

00:47:48--> 00:47:58

Number four. Since I'm running out of time, I will like to leave some time for question answer unrelieved from this because you've been sitting here for since morning.

00:48:00--> 00:48:03

You should look the man then.

00:48:04--> 00:48:14

The family of that young lady specially her mother and her sisters. How they Islam Marwa eita Hi hamdulillah

00:48:19--> 00:48:29

halaqa data yo Arcadia Kitab Kayla, and she is a mother like this. she respects her husband and hamdulillah she's a from a good family.

00:48:30--> 00:49:00

She's from a good family. So be careful how do you know if this woman can be sustained and you can keep this wife is by watching learning asking about her mother and her relatives sisters and so on. But there are always exceptions are the Salatu was Salam Nabi waha in case you know who you are cabana Walla Tacoma, caffeine, so, caffeine, so it could happen both ways.

00:49:02--> 00:49:09

Now, let us go quick, quick, quick, quick, what a system may look into a brother should look into a sister,

00:49:10--> 00:49:15

which is the biggest mistake which is is

00:49:17--> 00:49:22

the beauty and we say we should look over that second thing that

00:49:23--> 00:49:56

that they look is not the beauty of the face, but the physical appearance. And that's why is a human is a main nature to men's nature, that he they like women with a certain looks and that's why most of the fitness centers, their members are women, because women know that men like this by nature, therefore they have to look a certain way and so on. But then of course, he has a different agenda and different conditions.

00:49:57--> 00:49:59

Other thing if What if he left

00:50:00--> 00:50:02

Now, men you look in women

00:50:03--> 00:50:06

studies show is the smile

00:50:08--> 00:50:16

is the smile. If the sister has a pleasant smile, then hamdulillah that commitment is about 10.

00:50:18--> 00:50:21

That's a different case of 14 called no stay away from that one.

00:50:24--> 00:50:25

Also

00:50:26--> 00:50:28

mean like a woman that is

00:50:29--> 00:51:10

a rational women who can analyze situation, puts her emotions aside, rationalize, analyze the situation, and they come to a rational conclusion. And this is what most men look for. Also, men, usually like women who beautify themselves, beautify themselves for their husbands not they beautified by nature, but they also beautify. Now, most of the most Somali women and mainly Muslim men, but also generally Muslim women. They are very attractive or they pride themselves when they go to a store and the medical

00:51:11--> 00:51:12

market.

00:51:14--> 00:51:18

They only look beautiful when they when someone else is going to look at them

00:51:19--> 00:51:26

near their husbands. All the cars so Evie shuwa lady Nicola, Nicola

00:51:28--> 00:51:55

all the beautiful miaka white Heron somewhere else, not not for the husband, and it should be other way around. Women should be very modest outside and it should be beautiful for her husband beautifier. I was one of the brothers was saying that he said every time that my wife dresses tonight is when I'm driving and I see her nice is when I'm driving her to a wedding

00:51:56--> 00:51:58

to our wedding or we're going for azima

00:52:00--> 00:52:02

so he said I called her over the phone and I said

00:52:04--> 00:52:20

our new banner dear girl member one assuming we are invited so get ready. So on hamdulillah das was about having children. It was for Hennessy. You know how Maura the everything he said I walk into my house and my wife is so beautiful.

00:52:21--> 00:52:22

So beautiful.

00:52:24--> 00:52:26

so gorgeous. Is the documentary one

00:52:28--> 00:52:32

I closed the door I sat down muscle memory takamasa Let's go

00:52:33--> 00:52:36

it's a no there is no invitation.

00:52:39--> 00:52:46

I just missed the beautiful my wife and I want to see and enjoy my wife. Say to the macabre ba Are you serious?

00:52:48--> 00:52:48

Are you serious?

00:52:52--> 00:52:58

All day long. I was for you. Let's go honey. Ha No.

00:52:59--> 00:53:04

This what she did. She took her hand and she mopped her face.

00:53:05--> 00:53:07

Imagine hamady in the cushy

00:53:08--> 00:53:10

California Water which again

00:53:11--> 00:53:13

we're here they will lie to Emily's

00:53:17--> 00:53:18

I'm worthy ogen arrow.

00:53:21--> 00:53:23

Now this should not be the case.

00:53:24--> 00:53:32

Maybe some of my other con Alma Otto Sania men either Nevada La Jolla, Xhosa

00:53:33--> 00:53:35

Surat macusa.

00:53:37--> 00:54:29

She is so beautiful for her husband. And when he tells her to do something she obeys. There's a lot of talking Sharla. And I don't want to overkill you with this. But I will tell the sisters one last night see him. And this is for men. And this is the studies that the Western and the eastern society came conclusion they said minko man when he's on his 20s he's more concerned about the looks of that young lady. How fine she looks, how beautiful she looks 30s they don't look into beauty much. But they look into their into their intellect. She's intelligent, she's smart, she's rational. For these men, they want someone who will take care of them

00:54:31--> 00:54:59

and hold on to the whole saga. Someone who will take care of you know the his needs. Someone who will not say Orinoco Toronto, Toronto, Canada know, someone who will take care of this is the 320s appearance 30s logic and rational and disability. forty's someone who will maintain and take care of him. This is the three categories of men of men and this is what they like. So

00:55:00--> 00:55:44

When the sisters Mashallah is dealing with this she has to be my next shallow maybe one day we will talk about how to maintain this marriage. Husband and wife got together. Sometimes they said, marriage is the end of love or the end of love is marriage. It shouldn't be like this as a matter of fact, it should be the key of love is marriage. Because when Allah subhanho wa Taala when you get married, you're your brothers, your sisters, your friends, they all give you gifts and the gifts of Allah subhanho wa Taala is what jalapeno Kuma what that and what a hammer. This is the gift of the marriage. So inshallah maybe one day perhaps, we will talk about how to maintain a relationship

00:55:44--> 00:55:48

between husband and wife. What this what I have to say Allah subhana wa tada

00:56:02--> 00:56:10

to the side here, you know Curtis, all of us, she was so low when she talks to him, not talk about him.

00:56:12--> 00:56:18

This is called a hammer. This is nobody she wants a noble man who would not expose or talk about.

00:56:20--> 00:56:26

Also, in this, she doesn't want a man who wants anything in return.

00:56:28--> 00:56:36

Men, they will talk to this girl. And in return, he wants her to do certain things for him. Women do not like that.

00:56:37--> 00:56:44

Women like the men who present himself in his status, and that he is himself a noble man.

00:56:46--> 00:56:59

The second thing is the woman likes she's just like, and this is a well known fact is they like a man who will sacrifice anything for them.

00:57:00--> 00:57:02

So this has to do with me.

00:57:03--> 00:57:04

Yeah,

00:57:05--> 00:57:06

absolutely.

00:57:08--> 00:57:27

They agree Why? Because he was a man who was sacrifice. His, you know, his bodies. His guy. The guys are getting together tonight to watch football to watch his game. And she says listen, you know, I want this and this. He wants. She wants him to drop everything. come running like a bullet.

00:57:29--> 00:57:39

Coming home. She was someone who was sacrificed his time, his desire, the things that he prefers for her.

00:57:40--> 00:57:44

And of course, that would increase her love for him.

00:57:46--> 00:57:48

By the way, this is from the son of larry summers.

00:57:51--> 00:57:52

Remember when have

00:57:53--> 00:58:01

they got jealous from one of the other wives in the midst of your overlock? Why? The messenger overlong he loved

00:58:02--> 00:58:03

he loved honey

00:58:04--> 00:58:07

I should have so couldn't provide honey for him.

00:58:08--> 00:58:40

But they knew one of his wives every time he goes to her she gives him honey. So they get jealous. So they say let us play. What should we do every time he comes from our house? Just tell him Oh my god, did you eat hunger Salama? I say yes. What's wrong with me? Or your breath is funny. This is the message I should have. And then he says Really? And then he goes to another wife. And she says

00:58:41--> 00:58:46

Did you eat honey? He said Why? He said because you smell funny. The

00:58:48--> 00:58:50

other day I would never eat honey.

00:58:52--> 00:58:53

This is sacrifice right.

00:58:55--> 00:58:58

And along said he yeah you live you live to have a mama.

00:59:01--> 00:59:05

Yeah, no American house and it shall be a long one.

00:59:07--> 00:59:19

You know how proud they felt that the messenger overlord left honey that he loves for them. Just for them. Women love the man who was sacrificed things for them.

00:59:21--> 00:59:22

Other thing that they like

00:59:25--> 00:59:31

is a man. We talked a bit about this is a man who's romantic and loving.

00:59:32--> 00:59:34

Ah

00:59:35--> 00:59:36

women.

00:59:37--> 00:59:38

Women

00:59:39--> 00:59:42

love to hear the word. I love you.

00:59:44--> 00:59:44

Right.

00:59:46--> 00:59:46

Men.

00:59:48--> 00:59:51

He will say to you what I say I love you to lesson What do you want?

00:59:53--> 00:59:59

I said to you last week? She said no, no, but I want you to assure me that you love me.

01:00:00--> 01:00:04

I want to hear twice a day. And it was a What is it a medicine but

01:00:09--> 01:00:12

you know, I live in philosophy. And it's done.

01:00:13--> 01:00:22

No. See, women are sometimes and hamdulillah. And they are very, very good at this, I may have lost our dollar reward them.

01:00:23--> 01:00:39

She can sacrifice everything and anything for you. She will do anything for you. She will be patient with you. If you just let her hear as insane. You say, I love you. I love you. I love you.

01:00:41--> 01:00:44

And by the way, when you become professional in this,

01:00:45--> 01:00:49

you say I love you. Even when she's cursing you

01:00:50--> 01:00:51

beat

01:00:53--> 01:00:55

me. I love your honey.

01:00:56--> 01:00:57

I love you.

01:00:59--> 01:01:00

You know what happens?

01:01:02--> 01:01:08

You know, she will feel like oh my god, you know, he's so sweet. He's so sweet.

01:01:09--> 01:01:16

And the only reason that you say I love you is because you don't want to go back to this cold weather and get the milk.

01:01:17--> 01:01:18

It's not for the sake of Allah.

01:01:21--> 01:01:27

But even then, knowing that to hear from you, I love you is something nice.

01:01:30--> 01:01:35

Another thing that they like, which is a romantic partner

01:01:36--> 01:01:38

is leaving, loving knows.

01:01:40--> 01:01:41

Leaving love notes.

01:01:43--> 01:01:45

You know, just on the table,

01:01:47--> 01:01:53

sending an email, I miss you, honey, and you really did not even miss her.

01:01:55--> 01:01:56

I miss your honey.

01:01:57--> 01:02:01

And then when you go home, everything is beautiful.

01:02:03--> 01:02:07

The other thing that would make this relationship more romantic.

01:02:09--> 01:02:10

This writing a poem.

01:02:12--> 01:02:13

How many of you can write a poem

01:02:16--> 01:02:19

Mashallah see women love words.

01:02:20--> 01:02:22

One of the one of the brothers who came,

01:02:23--> 01:02:27

I said to her, I said to him, listen, go write a poem for your wife.

01:02:29--> 01:02:30

And sometimes I give bad advice.

01:02:32--> 01:02:36

So he wrote, Hey, yo, hey, Yo, I love you. You're so fat.

01:02:39--> 01:02:39

Right?

01:02:44--> 01:02:45

Now,

01:02:46--> 01:02:48

for him, of course.

01:02:49--> 01:02:52

He is really expressing that this is what he knows.

01:02:54--> 01:02:56

And the young lady, Mashallah, she was really fun.

01:02:58--> 01:02:59

So what happened?

01:03:01--> 01:03:03

Both of them came to the office.

01:03:04--> 01:03:15

And she is mad, and he is so mad. He said, I did exactly what you told me. And I said, What did you do? He said, I said, Oh, yo, yo, I love you, you're so fat.

01:03:17--> 01:03:25

And I'm looking at her. So I have to turn my face away. Because she was really taking the whole couch my camera

01:03:28--> 01:03:46

is you have to write something nice. I will post then you make sure that you stay in the psychology of your wife. And by the way, this habit of never use of a long letter he will send them they used to love one another and write poems for one another.

01:03:47--> 01:03:48

Remember when I

01:03:50--> 01:03:51

was eight, she married

01:03:53--> 01:04:02

the loved one. And the She was beautiful. And she was a poet. And he was a poet. And he was a poet.

01:04:03--> 01:04:20

So, all day long what they do they used to say a poem. She he would recite a poem, a love poem for her and she will respond to that that love poem. And sometimes you would miss Allah. Listen, her poems and one day after Salatu Juma

01:04:21--> 01:04:24

our worker saw him coming to the Salatu Jamali.

01:04:28--> 01:04:37

He say Abba or daddy, you know, I was really writing a poem for my wife and she was saying near poem, and we miss this a lot. He said, divorce her.

01:04:38--> 01:04:39

On this one.

01:04:42--> 01:04:45

He had to listen to his father. So he divorced her.

01:04:46--> 01:04:52

She was beautiful. And she was a poet and he was in love madly in love with her.

01:04:53--> 01:04:57

After he became like a person who was insane

01:04:58--> 01:04:59

he would walk through the city.

01:05:00--> 01:05:19

Speaking of Medina, reciting the poem of his ex wife, you know, he is you know, tears on his cheeks, you know, love poems, and I'm the only one who felt sad for him. And he said, Okay, go take her back. However, don't ever miss another.

01:05:20--> 01:05:21

Another Juma.

01:05:23--> 01:05:26

So the love poem was only between the Salah

01:05:27--> 01:05:40

between Muslim and Aisha was a love poem, but when the Adhan is called, there is no love poem at all. So if you can do this is perfectly fine. A man should do this also sisters love

01:05:42--> 01:05:44

a man who is committed and loyal.

01:05:47--> 01:05:51

See, this is something that is so important for women.

01:05:53--> 01:06:06

When you go out and your wife is walking next to you, and you know doing shopping, and you Mashallah doing and you're looking around, don't think your wife she's looking around to you know, she's looking at you.

01:06:08--> 01:06:16

She's looking at you. And Mashallah, when you're picking our potatoes and tomatoes, and you pick a nice tomato and a beautiful lady pacifier like.

01:06:19--> 01:06:20

Right.

01:06:22--> 01:06:27

And she is not looking anywhere else, but your eyes.

01:06:28--> 01:06:29

So,

01:06:30--> 01:06:30

women,

01:06:32--> 01:06:37

in this case, they don't want a man who looks around, they want someone who's so committed.

01:06:38--> 01:06:50

Who is only looking on her, who's telling her how beautiful she is. And then hamdulillah This is one thing that assisters me.

01:06:53--> 01:06:56

Also, brothers, we talked about other points.

01:06:58--> 01:07:02

They love the man who is so forgiving.

01:07:04--> 01:07:36

So forgiving. Even the older generation nowadays and hamdulillah all fathers, they know this aspect very well. They mastered that art. But a lot of people don't know that your wife, she knows when she made a mistake. But at the same time she wants to she wants you to forgive her. overlook everything that she said everything that she did, and just start new page. If you do this, she would cherish

01:07:37--> 01:07:43

she will honor you, and she will love you. I'm so proud of I'm the son of levy some of our audience. You know what happened?

01:07:45--> 01:08:10

You know, he says to those 15 do not come up the mountain, but they did. Have you ever read a hadith or a story missing your overlord? blaming those and say the only reason we lost Babylon five years ago is because of those who have never they made a mistake he moved on here in your marriage life. If your wife makes mistake, you move on.

01:08:12--> 01:08:17

You don't Masha Allah, some of the brothers Mashallah December 1994

01:08:19--> 01:08:25

when we were in a second so even if you aren't your cousin as your brother, you lie.

01:08:26--> 01:08:34

Forget, don't mention any of this, pretend that never happened and move on. And that's

01:08:36--> 01:08:37

one of the wives

01:08:39--> 01:08:41

and this is he said zoji

01:08:42--> 01:08:42

either

01:08:44--> 01:08:46

one either hi Roger.

01:08:47--> 01:08:48

Whether yesterday

01:08:51--> 01:08:59

when he comes, he knows we do whatever I want to do. And when he leaves he behaves like a mad

01:09:00--> 01:09:02

and he reminded me

01:09:03--> 01:09:04

of the last one.

01:09:06--> 01:09:09

Which I will tell you later inshallah, if you remain

01:09:10--> 01:09:16

also the enlike because I really want to get into the sisters. Some of the brothers are waiting for the sister.

01:09:17--> 01:09:42

They love the man who is truth, truthfulness, who was truthful, and he is clear in his approach. Don't like cutting corners don't like cheating, don't like fabricating things, but who was very honest, you know, I did not come on time because I was talking to him. And we were chit chatting and I missed the appointment. They like those kind of people also, they love

01:09:43--> 01:09:44

they love

01:09:48--> 01:09:52

the love you to lead by example.

01:09:53--> 01:09:55

Not merely outward

01:10:00--> 01:10:24

No, you should become the most children. She would teach your children before you come home. You have to teach by example, not by words. And when you say to your wife do this, you should be the one, you already should be doing this and be engaging that all the time.

01:10:26--> 01:10:36

This is important and I have almost 25 different points of how to be a role model. But we are a thing person time and we don't want to go over all this.

01:10:37--> 01:10:39

Women also like brothers,

01:10:42--> 01:10:42

a man

01:10:45--> 01:10:51

who would never mentioned anyone else in her presence.

01:10:53--> 01:11:05

Never the biggest mistake that we do as men is we and we mentioned otherwise other women and the presence of our wives. Hi, y'all.

01:11:06--> 01:11:08

Mira, Dr. Amanda Amber.

01:11:11--> 01:11:12

Masha, Allah.

01:11:13--> 01:11:14

Jarrod?

01:11:16--> 01:11:19

sobriety is risky.

01:11:23--> 01:11:24

If she has a knife,

01:11:26--> 01:11:29

if your wife have a knife, you should be in another next room.

01:11:31--> 01:11:38

Don't ever mention. Don't ever say Oh, look at that woman. She was dressed fine. She was dressed nice a job.

01:11:41--> 01:11:42

What would you looking for?

01:11:44--> 01:11:45

Why? Don't ever mention

01:11:47--> 01:12:12

whatever other people do, that's their problem. Don't ever mention other women in the presence of your wives. This is the biggest mistake that as men we do. But we thought we think by reminding her or showing what other women did. We are teaching her so she can improve herself. No, you digging a grave for yourself. If you ever do that,

01:12:13--> 01:12:17

trust me, I'd been in on long enough to understand and learn that.

01:12:19--> 01:12:20

Now let us see

01:12:22--> 01:12:25

the things that may cherish

01:12:26--> 01:12:27

and encourage

01:12:29--> 01:12:33

the love that your wife may have with for you, one

01:12:39--> 01:12:42

to spend quality time together.

01:12:43--> 01:12:46

Women love they obsessed with quality time.

01:12:48--> 01:13:13

Spent quality time care of the kids, as I usually say take them to the zoo and leave them and just bring your wife back and go out and spend some time together. No one else or take them to your neighbors and spend time with her and then go to a park or come home and an hamdulillah enjoy and sit next to your wife

01:13:15--> 01:13:15

next year Why?

01:13:18--> 01:13:20

One of the sisters Somali sister

01:13:22--> 01:13:23

gear chili again.

01:13:26--> 01:13:32

You know one of those guys, they sponsor them because they couldn't find anyone to marry that locally. So they said they bring someone

01:13:34--> 01:13:35

they import someone.

01:13:37--> 01:13:37

So

01:13:39--> 01:13:42

she wants to show her husband that she loves him.

01:13:43--> 01:13:45

So what does she do? So

01:13:48--> 01:13:48

now

01:13:54--> 01:13:56

you have no respect.

01:13:57--> 01:13:58

Get away from me.

01:14:00--> 01:14:11

This is not no this is your wife. Yeah, maybe I'm not encouraging that. Maybe a little bit too far. But

01:14:13--> 01:14:14

what what happened

01:14:17--> 01:14:19

was the Islamic of Sony and ganglion ogni

01:14:23--> 01:14:29

lacking in his home, our D to be compassion and a shell was coming then.

01:14:31--> 01:14:32

The second thing is

01:14:36--> 01:14:37

the second thing is

01:14:38--> 01:14:42

and this is probably maybe some of the Islamic academic

01:14:44--> 01:14:45

is

01:14:46--> 01:14:47

imagine

01:14:48--> 01:14:48

if

01:14:49--> 01:14:51

and this is by the way, I don't know how

01:14:54--> 01:14:59

it is okay. Now one of the things is it's okay to be romantic.

01:15:01--> 01:15:07

Send them what he used to do. He used to take shower and bath with his wife

01:15:16--> 01:15:16

right

01:15:19--> 01:15:21

now emerging is fancier and borrow

01:15:23--> 01:15:24

all the gala tea in a

01:15:29--> 01:15:30

tsunami This is the sooner

01:15:32--> 01:15:33

This is the

01:15:35--> 01:15:35

sober

01:15:39--> 01:15:39

Sunday

01:15:41--> 01:15:41

all three

01:15:43--> 01:15:44

cash no credit

01:15:46--> 01:15:47

he will reverse on the swap.

01:16:15--> 01:16:17

There is no way in life

01:16:18--> 01:16:19

in a disadvantage to

01:16:21--> 01:16:24

have to agree that this is from the Sunnah.

01:16:25--> 01:16:27

As a matter of fact,

01:16:28--> 01:16:30

one of the halaqa that I was teaching,

01:16:31--> 01:16:40

the children went back home and they said, Well, she said it sooner to take bath together that I never see taking bath with my mother.

01:16:45--> 01:16:46

Oh my god,

01:16:47--> 01:16:48

Islam Hema, Ghana.

01:16:53--> 01:16:55

Do you know what the teacher with children?

01:16:59--> 01:17:05

Now we became the boy chorus because we they thought we teaching them something with a

01:17:06--> 01:17:08

Navy subarna.

01:17:13--> 01:17:30

Now, this is one of the things, one of the things that is from the son of Navy. He said, I know it's not for everyone. It's not for anyone. Not everyone, but it depends on the personality of the wife.

01:17:33--> 01:17:40

Also, one of the other thing that really women your wife will love you is if you help her around the house,

01:17:41--> 01:17:44

help your wife You know, cleaning,

01:17:46--> 01:17:50

taking care of the children, help them around the house.

01:17:51--> 01:17:52

It's on the sun.

01:17:54--> 01:18:00

with men, we know from the sooner that a man can have four wives,

01:18:01--> 01:18:09

the center that we all know and every gathering that we go we talk about that fight for wife for wives, you know, the middle of our

01:18:11--> 01:18:14

cheerleading, we we cannot even handle the first one.

01:18:15--> 01:18:21

And women the only center that they know is my husband should help me around the house.

01:18:22--> 01:18:50

As a matter of fact, both of them should be aware and inform about this. One of the sisters who came to complain about her husband she said my husband he has to follow the Sunnah. What is the Sunnah he has to cut the meat like the Messenger of Allah, he has the for lack of a long running, he was sitting, he has to do housework, he has to be imaginative, he has to take care of himself and so on. I said fine.

01:18:51--> 01:19:16

So, to prove a point, I admonished the brother, I say you call yourself a Muslim, you call yourself Sunni. You call yourself this, you should do this, you should do this. You should clean the house. And I said to the sister, do you agree? She said yes. I said he has to wash the dishes. Do you agree? Yes, he has to do this. He has to be no

01:19:19--> 01:19:21

sissy but this is also something that

01:19:25--> 01:19:26

they will select.

01:19:28--> 01:19:33

And the brothers didn't wants to elective sooner. But if we want the sooner is always

01:19:34--> 01:19:35

also from the sooner

01:19:36--> 01:19:44

you learn is to give a gift. Then the longer it will send them your code. The harder to

01:19:46--> 01:19:55

give give to one another and you will love one another. Now the first person who is deserving this slope is your spouse, especially your wife

01:19:57--> 01:19:58

especially your wife

01:19:59--> 01:19:59

so

01:20:00--> 01:20:03

Give her a gift, send her gifts, because

01:20:04--> 01:20:07

that will change the mood of your wife.

01:20:09--> 01:20:14

But get her a gift that she can use gifts that she can use.

01:20:15--> 01:20:22

The other thing that the women love, they love to be praised. They love a model of how much

01:20:27--> 01:20:29

they love to be praised. So

01:20:31--> 01:20:34

praise your wife as much as you can.

01:20:36--> 01:20:41

Only she doesn't know how to cook anything Mashallah The food is delicious.

01:20:43--> 01:20:52

Sorry, I Mashallah Coco. So clean, the house is so clean. You know it, she's just praise your wife left and right.

01:20:53--> 01:20:58

Because when you trace her 10 times, if you corrupt her once,

01:21:00--> 01:21:01

she won't feel offended.

01:21:03--> 01:21:16

But if you criticize her 10 times, and you praise her once, then that praise will not have any effects in your marriage life. So praise as much as you can.

01:21:17--> 01:21:38

I have almost 38 case left for the issue. But I want to get to the other sides because the brothers have been waiting. And it's not right for me to talk about the what the sisters need and what the sisters Michael and his sister once without talking about the brothers and the need of the bugs, which is essential and very important.

01:21:40--> 01:21:40

Brothers.

01:21:42--> 01:21:43

First of all,

01:21:45--> 01:21:48

when you look when you want to marry a woman,

01:21:50--> 01:21:52

first thing that you should look at

01:21:54--> 01:21:55

her Dean

01:21:57--> 01:22:01

because Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is true, he said to

01:22:03--> 01:22:24

marry women for four reasons for things for her beauty for her status for her well, and then he said, and for her Dean, and then he said, Hold on to the one with the dean or one to the one with a dean. Why? Because well may vanish, beauty, she will get

01:22:25--> 01:22:38

status, imminent, or hell. So marry the one that has Dean. And by the way, as we mentioned, a jerk. And then the best of the sisters is the

01:22:41--> 01:22:43

woman that you should look for

01:22:45--> 01:22:45

is a woman

01:22:47--> 01:22:48

who

01:22:50--> 01:22:51

I know some of the sisters.

01:22:53--> 01:22:54

Listen to this brothers.

01:22:55--> 01:23:02

Some of the sisters some of the mothers may disagree with me. But I'm open for disagreements.

01:23:04--> 01:23:05

women whom there

01:23:07--> 01:23:08

is not high.

01:23:11--> 01:23:16

If the wife is marrying you because of your money, she's not for you.

01:23:17--> 01:23:24

But if she's marrying you because of your deen and because of your character or because of your irresponsible individual

01:23:25--> 01:23:26

agenda, move on.

01:23:28--> 01:23:30

Go ahead and marry your sister.

01:23:32--> 01:23:34

You remember the story of

01:23:37--> 01:23:39

Satan, Masai? Mara him.

01:23:41--> 01:23:42

So he was saying

01:23:43--> 01:23:47

he was a blessed with a daughter. In an

01:23:49--> 01:23:53

army, she was beautiful. But she was also very knowledgeable.

01:23:55--> 01:24:00

And very, the Emir of the country, the ameerul momineen, he proposed

01:24:02--> 01:24:04

400 milligrams of medical marijuana

01:24:06--> 01:24:07

for his son and when he

01:24:08--> 01:24:16

said when he said No, I will not marry my daughter to a man who may cause her to lose her Dean, not the cause

01:24:17--> 01:24:20

of your money. I will give you my daughter I want you to I don't want you to marry my daughter.

01:24:24--> 01:24:28

Another wealthy man. No. Another famous man. No.

01:24:29--> 01:24:30

Finally,

01:24:31--> 01:24:34

a young student by the name of Wada,

01:24:39--> 01:24:42

who was a student of St. Thomas said he was absent

01:24:44--> 01:24:46

from the halaqa for three days.

01:24:48--> 01:24:53

He came back and then he said, What have you been calling? My wife died?

01:24:55--> 01:24:58

He said why don't you tell us how we can help you.

01:24:59--> 01:25:00

He said I didn't want

01:25:00--> 01:25:00

Bobby,

01:25:01--> 01:25:03

then he wanted to get up.

01:25:07--> 01:25:17

After the holidays, he said to him, did you get married after your wife? is a no and woman marry me? And I only have three to two three.

01:25:19--> 01:25:25

Say you said, Mary, you my daughter. The man said I was shocked.

01:25:26--> 01:25:27

I was shocked.

01:25:28--> 01:25:30

You just say no to

01:25:31--> 01:25:31

America.

01:25:33--> 01:25:34

And

01:25:36--> 01:25:46

you want me to marry your daughter? I was shocked. He said, Yes. Two people were witnesses. He did the nikka for two. And he moved on.

01:25:50--> 01:25:51

This student said

01:25:53--> 01:25:59

he said, I went to my house, not believing that what happened was reality.

01:26:00--> 01:26:05

said he'd been married man's daughter for two Durham's. Yes, why?

01:26:06--> 01:26:16

Because I shall be alone and stated more than three ahaadeeth from the Baraka of the young ladies, that hair expenses is minimum.

01:26:18--> 01:26:29

From the Baraka from the Baraka of the marriage is for the expenses and the method of that young lady is minimum net high

01:26:30--> 01:26:31

and low.

01:26:32--> 01:26:46

As soon as you you know ask to see admati pay so much money and do this wedding and do the nikka and Uncle key and this this this, then that wedding that marriage has no Baraka

01:26:48--> 01:26:51

beside the help of he has no Baraka.

01:26:52--> 01:26:57

So, you should look for someone who's asking nothing.

01:26:59--> 01:27:02

It is very strange, very strange.

01:27:04--> 01:27:11

That our sisters and the sisters, you should listen to this. When they meringue. Nan, Somali.

01:27:13--> 01:27:15

There. It's so simple.

01:27:16--> 01:27:18

The wedding is so simple.

01:27:20--> 01:27:22

Marina Del Sol, Donna Allahu Akbar.

01:27:23--> 01:27:28

Akaka Santoni on this, I want that we have a sister in our community.

01:27:30--> 01:27:33

She married a new Muslim

01:27:35--> 01:27:39

guy. Nothing is wrong. I Love New Muslims. I love them.

01:27:40--> 01:27:41

She married him.

01:27:43--> 01:27:50

I'm performing the Nika and I said, and what is your mom? her brother's there? What is your mother, your sister?

01:27:53--> 01:28:02

The brother He said, I asked him. I said, What is your wife? You chose wife's mother. He said 25 cents?

01:28:05--> 01:28:10

Yeah, a quarter of $1 20. I said, say that again?

01:28:11--> 01:28:21

He said 25 cents. I mean $25 20 500-200-5025 you know, 1000? No 25 cents.

01:28:24--> 01:28:31

And then I said can you please go and ask a sister because less than 25 cents. He won't even buy your lollipop.

01:28:33--> 01:28:46

You know, what do you want to do? What? 25 cents. Of course she played righteous. And she said no gurukula taqwa of Allah. I said fine. 25 cent. Mark another egg donor. Okay.

01:28:48--> 01:29:00

So 25 cents. he marry here. He put it in a basement. her grandmother's basement. Here's a live with her. He said you won't see me come. Oxygen will be la la.

01:29:01--> 01:29:02

winter time.

01:29:04--> 01:29:08

With her hijab and genweb he will bring her to the message on a bike.

01:29:10--> 01:29:17

One of the old Somali were really cool. You're gonna borrow the cash. catonian cannabis, Caleb. Oh, sorry.

01:29:20--> 01:29:21

It's true.

01:29:22--> 01:29:26

So Hannah law, he left the country he divorced her.

01:29:29--> 01:29:30

She comes back.

01:29:31--> 01:29:38

She says, shall sorry. You know everything. I want you to write me a letter of divorce. We'll call the DC.

01:29:40--> 01:29:52

Okay, hi, Ernie. shala mahakala so why because I'm getting I'm getting married. I say a lot. hawkwood hamdulillah. Now I thought Masha Allah and say, and how much is the matter this time?

01:29:53--> 01:29:56

She said 25,000

01:29:57--> 01:29:58

should ILA bottom.

01:30:02--> 01:30:05

I said he must be somebody. He say he's my cousin.

01:30:12--> 01:30:12

He says,

01:30:14--> 01:30:18

Marco, my cousin email don't one of us when the Somali guy comes.

01:30:20--> 01:30:22

When a generic comes is okay.

01:30:23--> 01:30:42

So it shouldn't be this way. It should be the more general something acceptable, something that is decent, something associates happy with. And the brother is happy with an Allah subhanho wa Taala would help both. If this is what they tend to do is to protect themselves.

01:30:44--> 01:30:58

this other thing that mothers should look into it, and I know the sister would be mad and extremely upset with this one. But I really have to say, I've been emailing them for over 10 years.

01:30:59--> 01:31:08

And I came to conclusion that the reason that divorce takes place with a certain group of people is because of 123.

01:31:10--> 01:31:10

If you can

01:31:12--> 01:31:18

do not marry a young lady, whom her mother was divorced with diversity.

01:31:20--> 01:31:22

Ah, see?

01:31:23--> 01:31:24

I'll tell you why.

01:31:26--> 01:31:36

I know some sisters have been abused, mistreated, under the hamdulillah. Those they have right. And we should not blame the young lady for this or for the mother for that.

01:31:37--> 01:32:00

But in the West, what happened is, we came from Somalia, our women they found independency a lot of them not all of them and what they did, they love their husbands. So the divorce took place. This young lady now she doesn't know the problem and the struggle that her mother went through. So she thinks divorce is so simple. My mother survived. I can survive.

01:32:02--> 01:32:06

My mother is diversity. I can be divorced more. I don't care this man.

01:32:08--> 01:32:13

She already has experience. And that's what they always say. We're

01:32:14--> 01:32:21

gonna Yeah, I'm studying. I'm getting my education. When I get divorced tomorrow, she's already planning to get divorce.

01:32:22--> 01:32:52

She's already planning to get a divorce. Why? Because her mother or overseas is divorcing. So when you're getting married, I'm not saying we should judge the sisters like this. I know. A lot of them would get out of the list. We get off the list. But I'm saying if the sisters parent mother, or a sister is divorced, then you should be careful because most likely she would take the issue of divorce. Very light, but not all the time.

01:32:55--> 01:33:05

Number four. Since I'm running out of time, I will like to leave sometimes and for question answer and relieve you from this because you've been sitting here for since morning.

01:33:07--> 01:33:10

You should look the Madden

01:33:11--> 01:33:18

the family of that young lady, especially her mother and her sisters. How they Aslan miroir

01:33:20--> 01:33:24

hamdu Lillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah Allah

01:33:26--> 01:33:36

Allah Khadija jaquan Kalia Kitab Kayla, and she is a small mother like this. she respects her husband and hamdulillah she's a from a good family.

01:33:37--> 01:34:01

She's from a good family. So be careful how do you know if this woman can be sustained and you can keep this wife is by watching learning asking about her mother and her relatives sisters and so on. But there are always exceptions are the Salatu was Salam Nabi waha in case you know who you are, you have a cabana

01:34:03--> 01:34:07

caffeine. So, caffeine, so it could happen both ways.

01:34:08--> 01:34:15

Now, let us go quick, quick, quick, quick. What a sister may look into a brother should look into a sister,

01:34:17--> 01:34:22

which is the biggest mistake which is is

01:34:24--> 01:34:29

the beauty and we said we should look over that second thing, that

01:34:30--> 01:34:59

that the look is not the beauty of the face, but the physical appearance. And that's why is that a human is a main nature is a man's nature that he they like women with a certain looks and that's why most of the fitness centers, their members are women. Because women know that men like this by nature, therefore they have to look a certain way and so on. But men of course

01:35:00--> 01:35:03

He has a different agenda and different conditions.

01:35:04--> 01:35:09

Other thing is what if you lack the men you look in women?

01:35:10--> 01:35:13

studies show is the smile

01:35:14--> 01:35:23

is the smile. If the sister has a pleasant smile, will hamdulillah that commitment after cassava 10

01:35:24--> 01:35:28

that's a different case of 14. No, stay away from that one.

01:35:31--> 01:35:31

Also

01:35:32--> 01:35:34

mean like a women that is

01:35:36--> 01:36:17

a rational women who can analyze situation, puts her emotions aside, rationalize, analyze the situation, and they come to a rational conclusion. And this is what most men look for. Also, men, usually like women who beautify themselves, beautify themselves for their husbands net, they beautified by nature, but they also beautify. Now, most of the most Somali women and mainly Muslim men, but also generally Muslim women. They are very attractive or they pride themselves when go to miss forehand DeMarco

01:36:18--> 01:36:19

Marquis Bahia.

01:36:21--> 01:36:25

They only look beautiful when they when someone else is going to look at them.

01:36:26--> 01:36:32

near their husbands. All the dev console Evie shuwa lady nica earlier

01:36:34--> 01:37:01

all the beautiful did Ed McCullough heading somewhere else not not for the husband and it should be either way around. Women should be very modest outside and it should be beautiful for her husband beautifier as one of the brothers was saying that. He said every time that my wife dresses nice, is when I'm drawing and I see her nice is when I'm driving her to a wedding

01:37:03--> 01:37:05

to our wedding or we're going for azima

01:37:06--> 01:37:09

so he said I called her over the phone and I said

01:37:11--> 01:37:26

our new banner dear girl member one assuming we are invited so get ready. So on hamdulillah das was about having children. It was for Hennessy you know hamara the everything. He say I walk into my house and my wife is so beautiful.

01:37:27--> 01:37:28

So beautiful.

01:37:30--> 01:37:34

so gorgeous. He said Valkyrie one for instance,

01:37:35--> 01:37:39

I closed the door I sat down max it was a memory hog and let's go

01:37:40--> 01:37:43

it's a no there is no invitation.

01:37:46--> 01:37:53

I just missed the beautiful my wife and I want to see and enjoy my wife. Say to the macabre ba Are you serious?

01:37:54--> 01:37:55

Are you serious?

01:37:59--> 01:38:04

All day long. I was for you. Let's go. Huh? No.

01:38:06--> 01:38:10

This what she did. She took her hand and she mopped her face.

01:38:12--> 01:38:14

Imagine hamady in the cushy.

01:38:15--> 01:38:17

California Water which again,

01:38:18--> 01:38:20

we're here to work at Emily's

01:38:24--> 01:38:25

organ arrow.

01:38:28--> 01:38:29

Now, this should not be the case.

01:38:31--> 01:38:39

Maybe some of my other con Alma Otto salia men either Nevada he has OSHA

01:38:40--> 01:39:36

solid macusa issues issue with her. She is so beautiful for her husband. And when he tells her to do something she obeys. There's a lot of talking Sharla. And I don't want to overkill you with this. But I will tell the sisters one last night see him. And this is for men and this is the status that the Western and the eastern society came conclusion they said minko man when he's on his 20s he's more concerned about the looks of that young lady. How fine she looks, how beautiful she looks 30s they don't look into beauty much. But they look into their intellect intellect. She's intelligent, she's smart, she's rational. For these men, they want someone who will take care of them.

01:39:37--> 01:39:38

And also

01:39:40--> 01:40:00

someone who will take care of you know the his needs. Someone who will not say Orinoco Toronto, Toronto, Canada know someone who will take care of this is the 320s appearance 30s logic and rational and disability 40s someone who will maintain and take care

01:40:00--> 01:40:46

care of him. This is the three categories of men of men and this is what they like. So when the sisters Mashallah is dealing with this she has to be my next shallow maybe one day we will talk about how to maintain this marriage. Husband and wife got together. Sometimes they said, marriage is the end of love or the end of love is marriage. It shouldn't be like this as a matter of fact, it should be the key of love is marriage. Because when Allah subhana wa tada when you get married, you're your brothers, your sisters, your friends, they all give you gifts and the gifts of Allah subhana wa tada is where jalapeno commoditised wahama This is the gift of the marriage. So inshallah

01:40:46--> 01:40:55

maybe one day perhaps we will talk about how to maintain a relationship between husband and wife. What this what I have to say Allah subhana wa tada

01:40:56--> 01:40:57

joke on my blog.