How To Choose Life Partner
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Channel: Said Rageah
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AI Generated Summary ©
The speakers emphasize the importance of finding a love partner, leaving loving notes on walls, finding a romantic partner, forgiveness, being true to oneself, and finding a healthy relationship. They also touch on the mistakes of men and the importance of learning to be a role model. The conversation between Speaker 1 and another speaker is not intended as a formal or formal meeting or interaction.AI Generated Transcript ©
In the law Why?
Why should one know Mohammed Abu hora? surah?
Yeah you're Liliana hamana tough en la hapa to a party he won at a modern India one tomassini Moon
yeah yohanna sutopo comunidad de Hanako minocin wahida ohada Caminha Xhosa. webid min humare jarron kathira one is
what have a la junta de Tessa I don't wanna be one at hum in LA Canada you como rocky bomb?
Yeah Johan Latina mucho la Koo Poland's ready to use the American way of la comida Nova con woman in a world of Sula who falls and avena
fandom and the fate of the California Common Law Hayden that he had made in southern law while he was sending them
to Hakuna Matata
now, the brothers blah blah blah Hey,
as you can all remember what I stated yesterday
they titled this talk
a job or the job of a Muslim woman.
And usually I like to surprise
I like to surprise the organizers
and change things sometimes last minutes
I like surprises.
So, they asked me since they already
reprint or pre print
the CDs and the DVDs of the talk I should address a bit about hijab before I get into the subject inshallah, which is how to choose a life partner.
I don't think any muslimah and his sister or any brother was sitting here or Muslim who is not aware of rulings of Asia we all know the job is most
we all know the job is
my only concern is the hijab that some of the sisters in the other in other places I mean
I have some observation and concerns about that.
Number one, if you go sorta to noon, if you go to
if you go on a long ride, he will sell them we do know what the job is
we know
and the purpose of hijab is well known
but some of the sisters
they want to be more hijab at
the same time they want to be dress in a fashion on style.
So what do they do?
They work the job like this and they show the ears
and some of them don't have that pretty ears but they showed the IRS
today do
others
they are what I call sin jack Hey john.
You know sin si n it means in
German Arabic means the bringer or the thing that brings so they wear a hijab that itself will bring a sin so I call them sin jab, jab.
What do they do? They were up to here.
And of course they don't work together in a proper way every few minutes he have to flip her job and wrap it around her head. And then we do it again and again and again. All the time. My nursing her to the such system to a such a sister that this is not a job.
That is not
our observation that I have
is the
buyer
that is some sisters were
and what do they do they were I buys a home in law fair. And then at the top of the ABA. They were sweater that is so tight.
And the zipper up this sweater. So she looks when she's walking, especially the wintertime. She looks one of those hot air balloons, you know how they look them upside down?
It looks so fun.
So that's also
that's also
an issue with the sisters and the hijab. The proper hijab sisters. Is the hijab, as some of you call some of you don't like and is that get banned from head to toe? That covers everything. This is the proper HIV shala brothers. Are you happy with the hijabs
is good to go? Now let's go back to the subject
which is how to choose life partners.
Three things
one, for my last talk last night
is something which
is similar than
you only talking about us.
And it's not true.
See, usually I don't try to
usually
I don't try to
entertain people. I usually do what I think this is the appropriate thing.
So yes, sir, Mr. Mulvaney
I really, that's not my aim. But there is a problem that we need to solve.
Yo, yo show, when do we have to put them aside I say, listen, wait, and you took your time. Wait. Now let the young people now benefit from your guidance, but at the same time, do everything based on the Sharia.
to
some of the young brothers they said
you told the older brothers just take a second and third and fourth wives and you did not leave anything for us.
This is the younger boys.
And some Hannah law. I did not say this. However, if you are good young man, I'm sure the system would fight
over you. They will definitely fight over you.
Number three, some of the brothers they said we have a list of their brothers and hamdulillah who are ready for marriage
who was ready to sign and Mashallah we finished we have finished a contract here.
Everything that I say tonight pleases you, then we can proceed inshallah. And we can do a group marriage and hamdulillah and take a photo group group photo.
Let us continue with what we talked about, I did not finish last night.
So, I will talk some of the things that a sister
may look into a brother before she proceeds with him. First I will say this marriage brothers and sister is like establishing a company
establishing a business. So, you have a shareholder and you have another shareholder. So these two shareholders when they get together, they want to establish a standing household. Now the capital of this business or this company is a love that they have for one another is Sakina that is needed as a loss of Hannah with data set in the Quran. Who Allah, Allah Takumi Neff sinuata
min house Xhosa, Leah schooner.
Leah Spooner, Ilya. So the purpose of the marriage is to find peace, tranquility, happiness, and to pursue a better life and not to worry about some of the issues.
Also from the purpose of marriage, that women are always in the balance and we are the best for women, which means we hide the faults of one another.
Now
Beautiful.
Now, let us continue the things that the sisters would look for
a brother.
From tonight we start stay look for what is known as Shama or nobility.
What does it mean? See this young lady, she really wants to get married to this man who is dignified.
Who when they talk, and because by the way, whether we like it or not, they do talk a lot together.
So, when they talk, he won't come to his friends and say, Listen, I spoke to so and so.
She told me the size of her shoes and the size of his socks and the size of her, you know, curtains, all that she was so long when she talks to him, not talk about him.
This is called she hammer. This is nobody she wants a noble man who would not expose or talk about.
Also, in this, she doesn't want a man who wants anything in return.
Men, they will talk to this girl. And in return, he wants her to do certain things for him. Women do not like that.
Women like the men who present himself in his status, and that he is himself a noble man.
The second thing is the women like sisters like and this is a well known fact is they like a man who will sacrifice anything for them.
So sit here with me.
Yeah, see the hands? Absolutely.
They agree Why? Because he was a man who was sacrifice. His you know, his buddies, his guy. The guys are getting together tonight to watch a football to watch his game. And she says listen, you know, I want this and this. He wants. She wants him to drop everything and come running like a bullet.
Coming home. She was someone who was sacrificed his time. His desire, the things that he prefers for her.
And of course, that would increase her love for him.
By the way, this is from the son of nimbyism alone while he was alive.
Remember when have
they got jealous for one of the other wives of the messenger? overlock. Why? The messenger overlong he loved honey.
He loved honey. I should have so couldn't provide honey for him.
But they knew one of his wives. Every time he goes to her. She gives him honey. So they get jealous. So they say let us play. What should we do every time he comes from her house? Just tell him Oh my god, did you eat honey?
And say yes, what's wrong with me? Your breath is funny. This is one of the messages I should have said and then he says Really? And then he goes into the wife and she says
Did you eat honey? He said Why? She said because you smell funny. The
other day I would never eat honey.
This is sacrifice right.
And a lot of said yeah you have to have a mama.
Yeah, now imagine helps and it shall be a long one.
You know how proud they felt that the messenger overlord left honey that he loves for them. Just for them. Women love the man who was sacrificed things for them.
Other thing that they like
as a man and we talked a bit about this is a man who's romantic and loving.
women.
Women
love to hear the word. I love you.
Right?
Men.
He will say to her what I say I love you to lesson What do you want?
I said to you last week? She said no, no. But I want you to assure me that you love me. So I want to hear twice a day. And it was a what is is a medicine but there was
We finish, you know, I live you from last week. And it's done.
No. See, women are sometimes and hamdulillah. And they are very, very good at this and we have lost our reward them.
She can sacrifice everything and anything for you. She will do anything for you. She will be patient with you. If you just let her here has been saying, you say, I love you, I love you, I love you.
And by the way, when you become professional in this,
you say I love you, even when she's cursing you
beat
me, I love your honey.
You know what happens?
You know, she will feel like oh my god, you know, he's so sweet. He's so sweet.
And the only reason that you say I love you is because you don't want to go back to this cold weather and get the milk
is there for the sake of Allah.
But even then, knowing that to hear from you, I love you is something nice.
Another thing that they like, which is a romantic part
is leaving loving notes.
Leaving loving notes.
You know, just on the table,
sending an email, I miss you, honey, and you really did not even miss her.
I miss your honey.
And then when you go home, everything is beautiful.
The other thing that would make this relationship more romantic.
This is writing a poem.
How many of you can write a poem
Mashallah see women love words.
One of the one of the brothers who came,
I said to her, I said to him, listen, go write a poem for your wife.
And sometimes I give bad advice.
So he wrote, Hey, yo, hey, Yo, I love you. You're so fat.
Right?
Now,
for him, of course.
He is really expressing that this is what he knows.
And the young lady, Mashallah, she was really fun.
So what happened?
Both of them came to the office.
And she is mad, and he is so mad. He said, I did exactly what you told me. And I said, What did you do? He said, I said, Oh, yo, yo, I love you, you're so fat.
And I'm looking at her. So I have to turn my face away. Because she was really taking the whole couch.
If you have to write something nice,
home, then you make sure that you stay the psychology of your wife. And by the way, this habit of loving yourself along rather he will send them they used to love one another and write poems for one another.
Remember, when I
was eight, she married
the loved one. And the She was beautiful. And she was a poet. And he was a poet. And he was a poet. So, all day long what they do, they used to say a poem. She he will recite a poem love poem for her, and she will respond another love poem, and sometimes you would miss Allah. Listen, her poems. And one day after Salatu Juma
Abubakar saw him coming to the Salatu Jamali.
Man, he's a avatar or daddy, you know, I was really writing a poem for my wife and she was saying the poem and we missed the Salah. He said, divorce her.
On this one.
He had to listen to his father. So he divorced her.
She was beautiful. And she was a poet and he was in love madly in love with her.
Son, he became like a person who was insane.
He would walk through the streets of Medina reciting the poem of his ex wife, you know, he is, you know, tears on his
cheap, you know love homes
felt sad for him. And he said, Okay, go take her back. However, don't ever miss another.
Another Juma
so the love poem was only between the salon
between McRib and Aisha was a love poem, but when the other hand is called there is no love poem at all. So if you can do this is perfectly fine A man should do this also sisters love
a man who is committed and loyal.
See, this is something that is so important for women
when you go out and your wife is walking next to you and you know doing shopping
and you Mashallah doing you looking around don't think your wife she's looking around to you know, she's looking at you
she's looking at you, and Mashallah, we're picking our potatoes and tomatoes, and you pick a nice tomato and and beautiful lady pacifier like.
Right?
She is not looking at anywhere else, but your eyes.
So
women,
in this case, they don't want a man who looks around they want someone who's so committed.
Who is only looking at her who's telling her how beautiful she is. And then hamdulillah This is one thing that assesses me.
off of others, we talked about other points.
They love the man who is so forgiving.
So forgiving. Even the older generation nowadays and hamdulillah all fathers, they know this aspect very well. They master that art. But a lot of people don't know that your wife, she knows when she made a mistake. But at the same time she wants you she wants you to forgive her. overlook everything that she said everything that she did, and just start a new page. If you do this, she would cherish
she will honor you, and she will love you. I'm so proud of I'm the son of Navy. Some of my worry was that you know what happened?
You know, he said that to those 15 guys do not come up the mountain, but they did. Have you ever read a hadith or story missing your overlord? blaming those and say the only reason we lost Babylon five years ago is because of those Sahaba never. They made a mistake that he moved on here in your marriage life. If your wife makes mistake, you move on.
You don't Masha Allah, some of the brothers Mashallah December 1994.
When we were in a second, so even they, you asked your cousin as your brother, you lie.
Forget, don't mention any of this, pretend that never happened, and move on. And that's
one of the wives
and this is he said zoji
either
what either hi Roger,
whether yesterday
when he comes, he knows me do whatever I want to do. And when he leaves he behaves like a man.
And he reminded me that is
the last one.
Which I will tell you later in life, you remind
also the enlike because I really want to get into the some of the others are waiting for the sister.
They love the man who is truth, truthfulness, who was truthful, and he is clear in his approach. Don't like cutting corners don't like cheating, don't like fabricating things, but who was very honest, you know, I did not come on time because I was talking to Abdulkadir and we were chit chatting and I missed the appointment. They like those kind of people. Also, they love
they love
them.
They love you to lead by example.
Not merely outward.
Know You should become the most children. She was
Children before you come home, you have to teach by example, not by words. And when you say to your wife do this, you should be the one. You already should be doing this and be engaging that all the time.
This is important. I have almost 25 different points of how to be a role model. But we are a thing person time and we don't want to go over all this.
Women also like brothers.
And then
who would never mentioned anyone else in her press?
Never. The biggest mistake that we do as men is we and we mentioned otherwise other women and the presence of our wives. Hi, y'all.
Mira
Mesa,
Masha, Allah.
And Gera.
sobriety is risky.
If she has a knife,
if your wife have a knife, you should be in another room.
Don't ever mention. Don't ever say Oh, look at that woman. She was dressed fine. She was dressed Nice job.
What are you looking for?
Why don't
whatever other people do, that's their problem. Don't even mention other women in the presence of your wives. This is the biggest mistake that as men we do but we thought we think by reminding her or showing what other women did. We are teaching her so she can improve herself. No, you digging a grave for yourself if you ever do that,
trust me I've been around long enough to understand and learn.
Now let us see
the things that may cherish
and encourage
the love that your wife may have with for you. One
t spent quality time together.
Women love they obsessed with quality time.
Spent quality time get out of the kids as I usually say take them to the zoo and leave them and just bring your wife back and go out and spend some time together. No one else or take them to your neighbors and spend time with her and then go to a park or come home and and hamdulillah enjoy and sit next to your wife
next year Why?
One of the sisters Somali sister
gear chili again
you know one of those guys they sponsor them because they couldn't find anyone to marry that locally. So they said they bring someone
they import someone
so
she wants to show her husband that she loves him.
So what does she do? So
Bella elevate
you have no respect.
Get away from me.
This is not the No. This is your wife. Yeah, maybe I'm not encouraging that. Maybe a little bit too far. But
what what happened
was the Islamic of Sonia ganglion opening
lurking in his home our D to be compassion and a shell was coming then.
The second thing is
the second thing is
and this is probably maybe some of the Islamic academic aid going on. But
imagine
if
and this is by the way, I don't know how to end
it is okay. Now one of the things is it's okay to be romantic.
What he used to do, he used to take shower and bath with his
why
America cool America
right
now emerging is fancier and borrow
all the money in america
this is the sooner
This is
so good.
All three
cash no credit
he will reverse on the swap.
There is no way
there is no way in life
to agree that this is from the Sunnah.
As a matter of fact,
one of the halaqa that I was teaching
the children went back home and they said, Well, she said is sooner to take bath together. Dad, I never see you taking bath with my mother.
Oh my god.
Do you know what the teacher what children
do you?
Now we became the boy chorus because we they thought we teaching them something.
Super now.
Now, this is one of the things. One of the things. That is from the son of nimbyism, a lot of people said, I know it's not for everyone. It's not for anyone. Not everyone, but it depends on the personality of the wife.
Also, one of the other thing that really women your wife would love you is if you help her around the house,
help your wife You know, cleaning.
Taking care of the children, helping them around the house
is on the sun.
with men we know from the sooner that a man can have four wives.
That's the center that we all know. And every gathering that we go we talk about that fight for wives for wives, you know, Nino Gabbar, Konami, la mesa had been afforded to really lead the way we cannot even handle the first one.
And women the only sooner that they know is my husband, she helped me around the house.
As a matter of fact, both of them should be aware and inform about this. One of the sisters who came to complain about her husband, she said my husband, he has to follow the Sunnah. What is the Sunnah he has to cut the meat like the Messenger of Allah, he has to sweep the floor microsatellites on the long run, he was saying, he has to do housework, he has to be militant, he has to take care of himself and so on. I said fine.
So, to prove a point, I admonished the brother, I say you call yourself a Muslim. You call yourself Sunni. You call yourself this, you should do this. You should do this. You should clean the house. And I said to the system, do you agree? She said yes. I said he has to wash the dishes. Do you agree? Yes, he has to do this. He has to
know
I say sister but this is also some
sisters they were selective some
and the brothers didn't want selective singer. But if we want the Sunnah is always
also from the Sunnah. What did you learn is to give a gift
to
give a gift to one another, it will love one another. Now the first person who is deserving this love is your spouse, especially your wife,
especially your wife.
So give her a gift. Send her gifts because
that will change the mood of
Your wife,
but get her a gift that she can use a gift that she can use.
The other thing that the women love, they love to be praised.
They love a model, how much time do I have?
They love to be praised. So easy Allah
praise your wife as much as you can.
Only she doesn't know how to cook anything, Mashallah The food is delicious.
Had they
must also clean the house is so clean, you know, issues, just praise your wife left and right.
Because when you trace her 10 times,
if you corrupt her once,
she won't feel offended.
But if you criticize it 10 times, and you praise her once, then that praise will not have any effects in your marriage life. So praise her as much as much as you can.
I have almost 38 case left for the issue that I want to get to the brothers size because the brothers have been waiting. And it's not right for me to talk about the what the sisters need, and when the sister like or the sister wants without talking about the brothers and the need of the brothers, which is essential and very important.
Brothers.
First of all,
when you look when you want to marry a woman,
first thing that you should look at
her D
because in the long run, he was enemy's true, he said to
marry women for four reasons for things for her beauty for her status for her well, and then he said and for her Dean. And then he said, Hold on to the one with the dean on to the one with the dean. Why? Because well may vanish, beauty, she would get
status, imminent, or hell. So marry the one that has been. And by the way, as we mentioned, ager and the livers of the sisters is the
woman that you should look for
is a woman
who has
an know some of the sisters.
Listen to this brothers.
Some of the sisters some of the mothers may disagree with me. But I'm open for disagreement.
women whom there
is not high.
If the wife is marrying you because of your money, she's not for you.
But if she's marrying you because of your deen and because of your character or because of your irresponsible individual
agenda, move on.
Go ahead and marry your sister.
Do you remember the story of
your mom and what I
was saying?
He was a blessing blessed with a daughter in an
army, she was beautiful. But she was also very knowledgeable.
And very the Amir of the country, the ameerul momineen he proposed
for medical marijuana
for his son and when he said when he said No, I will not marry my daughter to a man who may cause her to lose her Dean, not the cause
of your money that I will give you my daughter I want you to I don't want you to marry my daughter.
Another wealthy man No. Another famous man. No.
Finally,
a young student by the name of Wada
who was a student of St. Thomas. He was absent
from the halaqa for three days.
He came back and then he said, What have you been called? My wife died.
He said why don't you tell us how we can help you.
He said I didn't want to bother him.
Then he wanted to get up.
He said
Either after the holidays, or he searched him, did you get married after your wife is now marry me? I only have three, two to three days.
So he said, marry you my daughter. The man said I was shocked.
I was shocked.
You just say no to
one.
And
you want me to marry your daughter? I was shocked. She said, Yes. Two people were witnesses. He did the nikka for to Durham. And he moved on.
This student said
he said, I went to my house, not believing that what happened was reality.
said he'd been married man's daughter for two Durham's. Yes, why?
Because I shall be alone and stated more than three ahaadeeth from the Baraka of the young ladies, that her expenses is minimum.
From the Baraka from the Baraka of the marriage is full the expenses and the method of that young lady is minimum not high, but low.
As soon as you you know as this young man to pay so much money and do this wedding and do the nikka and Uncle key and this this this, then that wedding that marriage has no Baraka
beside the head it has no Baraka.
So, you should look for someone who's asking nothing.
It is very strange, very strange.
That our sisters and the sisters you should listen to this. When they marrying none Somali.
So simple.
The wedding is so simple.
Marina Del Sol, Donna Allahu Akbar.
Akaka Santoni. I want this I want that we have a sister in our community.
She married an enormous Muslim.
Guy. Nothing is wrong. I Love New Muslims. I love them.
She married him.
I'm performing the Nika and I said, and what is your mom? Her brother? Is that what is your mother, your sister?
their brother? He said, I asked him. I said, What is your wife? Your wife's mother? He said 25 cents.
A quarter of $1 20. I said, say that again?
He said 25 cents. I mean $25 2500 250 25 you know 1000 no 25 cents.
And then I said can you please go on as a sister because listen, 25 cents. He won't even buy your lollipop.
You know, what do you want to do? What? 25 cents? Of course she paid righteous. And she said no good. Cool. I'll talk a lot. I said fine. 25 cent. Martinelli. egg donor. Okay.
So Hannah 25 cents. he marry her. He put on in a basement. her grandmother's basement. He doesn't live with her. He said he wants to see me come boxing will be la la.
winter time.
With her job and Jean Webb. He will bring it to the mission on a bike.
One of the also Molly were really cool. You're gonna catch catonian cannabis Gala. busara.
True.
Some had a lot. He left the country he divorced her.
She comes back.
She says she'll say you know everything. I want you to write me a letter of divorce without a receipt ADC.
Okay, hi, Ernie. shala McFaul so why? Because I'm getting I'm getting married. I say Allahu Akbar hamdulillah. Now I thought Masha Allah and say, and how much is the matter of this time?
She said 25,000
should he labaton
$1. I said he must be somebody. He say he's my cousin.
Morocco my cousin email don't want to have us when the Somali guy comes.
He never comes is okay.
So it shouldn't be this way. It should be the Maha journal, something acceptable. Something that is decent, something associates happy with. And the brother is happy with Allah subhanho wa Taala would help both. If this is what they intend to do is to protect themselves.
this other thing that bothers should look into it. And I know the sister would be mad and extremely upset with this one. But I really have to say, I've been mmm for over 10 years.
And I came to conclusion that the reason that divorce takes place with a certain group of people is because of 123.
If you can
do not marry a young lady, whom her mother was divorced with diversity.
Ah, see?
I'll tell you why.
I know some sisters have been abused, mistreated, under the hamdulillah. Those they have right. And we should not blame the young lady for this or for the mother for that.
But in the West, what happened is, we came from Somalia, our women they found independency a lot of them not all of them and what they did, they love their husbands. So the divorce took place. This young lady now she doesn't know the problem and the struggle that her mother went through. So she thinks divorce is so simple. My mother survived. I can survive.
My mother is diversity. I can be divorced more. I don't care this man.
She already has experience. And that's where they always say, we're
gonna Yeah, I'm studying. I'm getting my education. When I get divorced mom, she's already planning to get divorce.
She's already planning to get divorce. Why? Because her mother or overseas is divorcing. So when you're getting married, I'm not saying we should judge sisters like this. I know a lot of them would get out of the list, get off the list. But I'm saying if the sisters parent mother, or a sister is divorced, then you should be careful because most likely she would take the issue of divorce. Very light, but not all the time.
Number four. Since I'm running out of time, I will like to leave some time for question answer unrelieved from this because you've been sitting here for since morning.
You should look the man then.
The family of that young lady specially her mother and her sisters. How they Islam Marwa eita Hi hamdulillah
halaqa data yo Arcadia Kitab Kayla, and she is a mother like this. she respects her husband and hamdulillah she's a from a good family.
She's from a good family. So be careful how do you know if this woman can be sustained and you can keep this wife is by watching learning asking about her mother and her relatives sisters and so on. But there are always exceptions are the Salatu was Salam Nabi waha in case you know who you are cabana Walla Tacoma, caffeine, so, caffeine, so it could happen both ways.
Now, let us go quick, quick, quick, quick, what a system may look into a brother should look into a sister,
which is the biggest mistake which is is
the beauty and we say we should look over that second thing that
that they look is not the beauty of the face, but the physical appearance. And that's why is a human is a main nature to men's nature, that he they like women with a certain looks and that's why most of the fitness centers, their members are women, because women know that men like this by nature, therefore they have to look a certain way and so on. But then of course, he has a different agenda and different conditions.
Other thing if What if he left
Now, men you look in women
studies show is the smile
is the smile. If the sister has a pleasant smile, then hamdulillah that commitment is about 10.
That's a different case of 14 called no stay away from that one.
Also
mean like a woman that is
a rational women who can analyze situation, puts her emotions aside, rationalize, analyze the situation, and they come to a rational conclusion. And this is what most men look for. Also, men, usually like women who beautify themselves, beautify themselves for their husbands not they beautified by nature, but they also beautify. Now, most of the most Somali women and mainly Muslim men, but also generally Muslim women. They are very attractive or they pride themselves when they go to a store and the medical
market.
They only look beautiful when they when someone else is going to look at them
near their husbands. All the cars so Evie shuwa lady Nicola, Nicola
all the beautiful miaka white Heron somewhere else, not not for the husband, and it should be other way around. Women should be very modest outside and it should be beautiful for her husband beautifier. I was one of the brothers was saying that he said every time that my wife dresses tonight is when I'm driving and I see her nice is when I'm driving her to a wedding
to our wedding or we're going for azima
so he said I called her over the phone and I said
our new banner dear girl member one assuming we are invited so get ready. So on hamdulillah das was about having children. It was for Hennessy. You know how Maura the everything he said I walk into my house and my wife is so beautiful.
So beautiful.
so gorgeous. Is the documentary one
I closed the door I sat down muscle memory takamasa Let's go
it's a no there is no invitation.
I just missed the beautiful my wife and I want to see and enjoy my wife. Say to the macabre ba Are you serious?
Are you serious?
All day long. I was for you. Let's go honey. Ha No.
This what she did. She took her hand and she mopped her face.
Imagine hamady in the cushy
California Water which again
we're here they will lie to Emily's
I'm worthy ogen arrow.
Now this should not be the case.
Maybe some of my other con Alma Otto Sania men either Nevada La Jolla, Xhosa
Surat macusa.
She is so beautiful for her husband. And when he tells her to do something she obeys. There's a lot of talking Sharla. And I don't want to overkill you with this. But I will tell the sisters one last night see him. And this is for men. And this is the studies that the Western and the eastern society came conclusion they said minko man when he's on his 20s he's more concerned about the looks of that young lady. How fine she looks, how beautiful she looks 30s they don't look into beauty much. But they look into their into their intellect. She's intelligent, she's smart, she's rational. For these men, they want someone who will take care of them
and hold on to the whole saga. Someone who will take care of you know the his needs. Someone who will not say Orinoco Toronto, Toronto, Canada know, someone who will take care of this is the 320s appearance 30s logic and rational and disability. forty's someone who will maintain and take care of him. This is the three categories of men of men and this is what they like. So
When the sisters Mashallah is dealing with this she has to be my next shallow maybe one day we will talk about how to maintain this marriage. Husband and wife got together. Sometimes they said, marriage is the end of love or the end of love is marriage. It shouldn't be like this as a matter of fact, it should be the key of love is marriage. Because when Allah subhanho wa Taala when you get married, you're your brothers, your sisters, your friends, they all give you gifts and the gifts of Allah subhanho wa Taala is what jalapeno Kuma what that and what a hammer. This is the gift of the marriage. So inshallah maybe one day perhaps, we will talk about how to maintain a relationship
between husband and wife. What this what I have to say Allah subhana wa tada
to the side here, you know Curtis, all of us, she was so low when she talks to him, not talk about him.
This is called a hammer. This is nobody she wants a noble man who would not expose or talk about.
Also, in this, she doesn't want a man who wants anything in return.
Men, they will talk to this girl. And in return, he wants her to do certain things for him. Women do not like that.
Women like the men who present himself in his status, and that he is himself a noble man.
The second thing is the woman likes she's just like, and this is a well known fact is they like a man who will sacrifice anything for them.
So this has to do with me.
Yeah,
absolutely.
They agree Why? Because he was a man who was sacrifice. His, you know, his bodies. His guy. The guys are getting together tonight to watch football to watch his game. And she says listen, you know, I want this and this. He wants. She wants him to drop everything. come running like a bullet.
Coming home. She was someone who was sacrificed his time, his desire, the things that he prefers for her.
And of course, that would increase her love for him.
By the way, this is from the son of larry summers.
Remember when have
they got jealous from one of the other wives in the midst of your overlock? Why? The messenger overlong he loved
he loved honey
I should have so couldn't provide honey for him.
But they knew one of his wives every time he goes to her she gives him honey. So they get jealous. So they say let us play. What should we do every time he comes from our house? Just tell him Oh my god, did you eat hunger Salama? I say yes. What's wrong with me? Or your breath is funny. This is the message I should have. And then he says Really? And then he goes to another wife. And she says
Did you eat honey? He said Why? He said because you smell funny. The
other day I would never eat honey.
This is sacrifice right.
And along said he yeah you live you live to have a mama.
Yeah, no American house and it shall be a long one.
You know how proud they felt that the messenger overlord left honey that he loves for them. Just for them. Women love the man who was sacrificed things for them.
Other thing that they like
is a man. We talked a bit about this is a man who's romantic and loving.
Ah
women.
Women
love to hear the word. I love you.
Right.
Men.
He will say to you what I say I love you to lesson What do you want?
I said to you last week? She said no, no, but I want you to assure me that you love me.
I want to hear twice a day. And it was a What is it a medicine but
you know, I live in philosophy. And it's done.
No. See, women are sometimes and hamdulillah. And they are very, very good at this, I may have lost our dollar reward them.
She can sacrifice everything and anything for you. She will do anything for you. She will be patient with you. If you just let her hear as insane. You say, I love you. I love you. I love you.
And by the way, when you become professional in this,
you say I love you. Even when she's cursing you
beat
me. I love your honey.
I love you.
You know what happens?
You know, she will feel like oh my god, you know, he's so sweet. He's so sweet.
And the only reason that you say I love you is because you don't want to go back to this cold weather and get the milk.
It's not for the sake of Allah.
But even then, knowing that to hear from you, I love you is something nice.
Another thing that they like, which is a romantic partner
is leaving, loving knows.
Leaving love notes.
You know, just on the table,
sending an email, I miss you, honey, and you really did not even miss her.
I miss your honey.
And then when you go home, everything is beautiful.
The other thing that would make this relationship more romantic.
This writing a poem.
How many of you can write a poem
Mashallah see women love words.
One of the one of the brothers who came,
I said to her, I said to him, listen, go write a poem for your wife.
And sometimes I give bad advice.
So he wrote, Hey, yo, hey, Yo, I love you. You're so fat.
Right?
Now,
for him, of course.
He is really expressing that this is what he knows.
And the young lady, Mashallah, she was really fun.
So what happened?
Both of them came to the office.
And she is mad, and he is so mad. He said, I did exactly what you told me. And I said, What did you do? He said, I said, Oh, yo, yo, I love you, you're so fat.
And I'm looking at her. So I have to turn my face away. Because she was really taking the whole couch my camera
is you have to write something nice. I will post then you make sure that you stay in the psychology of your wife. And by the way, this habit of never use of a long letter he will send them they used to love one another and write poems for one another.
Remember when I
was eight, she married
the loved one. And the She was beautiful. And she was a poet. And he was a poet. And he was a poet.
So, all day long what they do they used to say a poem. She he would recite a poem, a love poem for her and she will respond to that that love poem. And sometimes you would miss Allah. Listen, her poems and one day after Salatu Juma
our worker saw him coming to the Salatu Jamali.
He say Abba or daddy, you know, I was really writing a poem for my wife and she was saying near poem, and we miss this a lot. He said, divorce her.
On this one.
He had to listen to his father. So he divorced her.
She was beautiful. And she was a poet and he was in love madly in love with her.
After he became like a person who was insane
he would walk through the city.
Speaking of Medina, reciting the poem of his ex wife, you know, he is you know, tears on his cheeks, you know, love poems, and I'm the only one who felt sad for him. And he said, Okay, go take her back. However, don't ever miss another.
Another Juma.
So the love poem was only between the Salah
between Muslim and Aisha was a love poem, but when the Adhan is called, there is no love poem at all. So if you can do this is perfectly fine. A man should do this also sisters love
a man who is committed and loyal.
See, this is something that is so important for women.
When you go out and your wife is walking next to you, and you know doing shopping, and you Mashallah doing and you're looking around, don't think your wife she's looking around to you know, she's looking at you.
She's looking at you. And Mashallah, when you're picking our potatoes and tomatoes, and you pick a nice tomato and a beautiful lady pacifier like.
Right.
And she is not looking anywhere else, but your eyes.
So,
women,
in this case, they don't want a man who looks around, they want someone who's so committed.
Who is only looking on her, who's telling her how beautiful she is. And then hamdulillah This is one thing that assisters me.
Also, brothers, we talked about other points.
They love the man who is so forgiving.
So forgiving. Even the older generation nowadays and hamdulillah all fathers, they know this aspect very well. They mastered that art. But a lot of people don't know that your wife, she knows when she made a mistake. But at the same time she wants to she wants you to forgive her. overlook everything that she said everything that she did, and just start new page. If you do this, she would cherish
she will honor you, and she will love you. I'm so proud of I'm the son of levy some of our audience. You know what happened?
You know, he says to those 15 do not come up the mountain, but they did. Have you ever read a hadith or a story missing your overlord? blaming those and say the only reason we lost Babylon five years ago is because of those who have never they made a mistake he moved on here in your marriage life. If your wife makes mistake, you move on.
You don't Masha Allah, some of the brothers Mashallah December 1994
when we were in a second so even if you aren't your cousin as your brother, you lie.
Forget, don't mention any of this, pretend that never happened and move on. And that's
one of the wives
and this is he said zoji
either
one either hi Roger.
Whether yesterday
when he comes, he knows we do whatever I want to do. And when he leaves he behaves like a mad
and he reminded me
of the last one.
Which I will tell you later inshallah, if you remain
also the enlike because I really want to get into the sisters. Some of the brothers are waiting for the sister.
They love the man who is truth, truthfulness, who was truthful, and he is clear in his approach. Don't like cutting corners don't like cheating, don't like fabricating things, but who was very honest, you know, I did not come on time because I was talking to him. And we were chit chatting and I missed the appointment. They like those kind of people also, they love
they love
the love you to lead by example.
Not merely outward
No, you should become the most children. She would teach your children before you come home. You have to teach by example, not by words. And when you say to your wife do this, you should be the one, you already should be doing this and be engaging that all the time.
This is important and I have almost 25 different points of how to be a role model. But we are a thing person time and we don't want to go over all this.
Women also like brothers,
a man
who would never mentioned anyone else in her presence.
Never the biggest mistake that we do as men is we and we mentioned otherwise other women and the presence of our wives. Hi, y'all.
Mira, Dr. Amanda Amber.
Masha, Allah.
Jarrod?
sobriety is risky.
If she has a knife,
if your wife have a knife, you should be in another next room.
Don't ever mention. Don't ever say Oh, look at that woman. She was dressed fine. She was dressed nice a job.
What would you looking for?
Why? Don't ever mention
whatever other people do, that's their problem. Don't ever mention other women in the presence of your wives. This is the biggest mistake that as men we do. But we thought we think by reminding her or showing what other women did. We are teaching her so she can improve herself. No, you digging a grave for yourself. If you ever do that,
trust me, I'd been in on long enough to understand and learn that.
Now let us see
the things that may cherish
and encourage
the love that your wife may have with for you, one
to spend quality time together.
Women love they obsessed with quality time.
Spent quality time care of the kids, as I usually say take them to the zoo and leave them and just bring your wife back and go out and spend some time together. No one else or take them to your neighbors and spend time with her and then go to a park or come home and an hamdulillah enjoy and sit next to your wife
next year Why?
One of the sisters Somali sister
gear chili again.
You know one of those guys, they sponsor them because they couldn't find anyone to marry that locally. So they said they bring someone
they import someone.
So
she wants to show her husband that she loves him.
So what does she do? So
now
you have no respect.
Get away from me.
This is not no this is your wife. Yeah, maybe I'm not encouraging that. Maybe a little bit too far. But
what what happened
was the Islamic of Sony and ganglion ogni
lacking in his home, our D to be compassion and a shell was coming then.
The second thing is
the second thing is
and this is probably maybe some of the Islamic academic
is
imagine
if
and this is by the way, I don't know how
it is okay. Now one of the things is it's okay to be romantic.
Send them what he used to do. He used to take shower and bath with his wife
right
now emerging is fancier and borrow
all the gala tea in a
tsunami This is the sooner
This is the
sober
Sunday
all three
cash no credit
he will reverse on the swap.
There is no way in life
in a disadvantage to
have to agree that this is from the Sunnah.
As a matter of fact,
one of the halaqa that I was teaching,
the children went back home and they said, Well, she said it sooner to take bath together that I never see taking bath with my mother.
Oh my god,
Islam Hema, Ghana.
Do you know what the teacher with children?
Now we became the boy chorus because we they thought we teaching them something with a
Navy subarna.
Now, this is one of the things, one of the things that is from the son of Navy. He said, I know it's not for everyone. It's not for anyone. Not everyone, but it depends on the personality of the wife.
Also, one of the other thing that really women your wife will love you is if you help her around the house,
help your wife You know, cleaning,
taking care of the children, help them around the house.
It's on the sun.
with men, we know from the sooner that a man can have four wives,
the center that we all know and every gathering that we go we talk about that fight for wife for wives, you know, the middle of our
cheerleading, we we cannot even handle the first one.
And women the only center that they know is my husband should help me around the house.
As a matter of fact, both of them should be aware and inform about this. One of the sisters who came to complain about her husband she said my husband he has to follow the Sunnah. What is the Sunnah he has to cut the meat like the Messenger of Allah, he has the for lack of a long running, he was sitting, he has to do housework, he has to be imaginative, he has to take care of himself and so on. I said fine.
So, to prove a point, I admonished the brother, I say you call yourself a Muslim, you call yourself Sunni. You call yourself this, you should do this, you should do this. You should clean the house. And I said to the sister, do you agree? She said yes. I said he has to wash the dishes. Do you agree? Yes, he has to do this. He has to be no
sissy but this is also something that
they will select.
And the brothers didn't wants to elective sooner. But if we want the sooner is always
also from the sooner
you learn is to give a gift. Then the longer it will send them your code. The harder to
give give to one another and you will love one another. Now the first person who is deserving this slope is your spouse, especially your wife
especially your wife
so
Give her a gift, send her gifts, because
that will change the mood of your wife.
But get her a gift that she can use gifts that she can use.
The other thing that the women love, they love to be praised. They love a model of how much
they love to be praised. So
praise your wife as much as you can.
Only she doesn't know how to cook anything Mashallah The food is delicious.
Sorry, I Mashallah Coco. So clean, the house is so clean. You know it, she's just praise your wife left and right.
Because when you trace her 10 times, if you corrupt her once,
she won't feel offended.
But if you criticize her 10 times, and you praise her once, then that praise will not have any effects in your marriage life. So praise as much as you can.
I have almost 38 case left for the issue. But I want to get to the other sides because the brothers have been waiting. And it's not right for me to talk about the what the sisters need and what the sisters Michael and his sister once without talking about the brothers and the need of the bugs, which is essential and very important.
Brothers.
First of all,
when you look when you want to marry a woman,
first thing that you should look at
her Dean
because Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is true, he said to
marry women for four reasons for things for her beauty for her status for her well, and then he said, and for her Dean, and then he said, Hold on to the one with the dean or one to the one with a dean. Why? Because well may vanish, beauty, she will get
status, imminent, or hell. So marry the one that has Dean. And by the way, as we mentioned, a jerk. And then the best of the sisters is the
woman that you should look for
is a woman
who
I know some of the sisters.
Listen to this brothers.
Some of the sisters some of the mothers may disagree with me. But I'm open for disagreements.
women whom there
is not high.
If the wife is marrying you because of your money, she's not for you.
But if she's marrying you because of your deen and because of your character or because of your irresponsible individual
agenda, move on.
Go ahead and marry your sister.
You remember the story of
Satan, Masai? Mara him.
So he was saying
he was a blessed with a daughter. In an
army, she was beautiful. But she was also very knowledgeable.
And very, the Emir of the country, the ameerul momineen, he proposed
400 milligrams of medical marijuana
for his son and when he
said when he said No, I will not marry my daughter to a man who may cause her to lose her Dean, not the cause
of your money. I will give you my daughter I want you to I don't want you to marry my daughter.
Another wealthy man. No. Another famous man. No.
Finally,
a young student by the name of Wada,
who was a student of St. Thomas said he was absent
from the halaqa for three days.
He came back and then he said, What have you been calling? My wife died?
He said why don't you tell us how we can help you.
He said I didn't want
Bobby,
then he wanted to get up.
After the holidays, he said to him, did you get married after your wife? is a no and woman marry me? And I only have three to two three.
Say you said, Mary, you my daughter. The man said I was shocked.
I was shocked.
You just say no to
America.
And
you want me to marry your daughter? I was shocked. He said, Yes. Two people were witnesses. He did the nikka for two. And he moved on.
This student said
he said, I went to my house, not believing that what happened was reality.
said he'd been married man's daughter for two Durham's. Yes, why?
Because I shall be alone and stated more than three ahaadeeth from the Baraka of the young ladies, that hair expenses is minimum.
From the Baraka from the Baraka of the marriage is for the expenses and the method of that young lady is minimum net high
and low.
As soon as you you know ask to see admati pay so much money and do this wedding and do the nikka and Uncle key and this this this, then that wedding that marriage has no Baraka
beside the help of he has no Baraka.
So, you should look for someone who's asking nothing.
It is very strange, very strange.
That our sisters and the sisters, you should listen to this. When they meringue. Nan, Somali.
There. It's so simple.
The wedding is so simple.
Marina Del Sol, Donna Allahu Akbar.
Akaka Santoni on this, I want that we have a sister in our community.
She married a new Muslim
guy. Nothing is wrong. I Love New Muslims. I love them.
She married him.
I'm performing the Nika and I said, and what is your mom? her brother's there? What is your mother, your sister?
The brother He said, I asked him. I said, What is your wife? You chose wife's mother. He said 25 cents?
Yeah, a quarter of $1 20. I said, say that again?
He said 25 cents. I mean $25 20 500-200-5025 you know, 1000? No 25 cents.
And then I said can you please go and ask a sister because less than 25 cents. He won't even buy your lollipop.
You know, what do you want to do? What? 25 cents. Of course she played righteous. And she said no gurukula taqwa of Allah. I said fine. 25 cent. Mark another egg donor. Okay.
So 25 cents. he marry here. He put it in a basement. her grandmother's basement. Here's a live with her. He said you won't see me come. Oxygen will be la la.
winter time.
With her hijab and genweb he will bring her to the message on a bike.
One of the old Somali were really cool. You're gonna borrow the cash. catonian cannabis, Caleb. Oh, sorry.
It's true.
So Hannah law, he left the country he divorced her.
She comes back.
She says, shall sorry. You know everything. I want you to write me a letter of divorce. We'll call the DC.
Okay, hi, Ernie. shala mahakala so why because I'm getting I'm getting married. I say a lot. hawkwood hamdulillah. Now I thought Masha Allah and say, and how much is the matter this time?
She said 25,000
should ILA bottom.
I said he must be somebody. He say he's my cousin.
He says,
Marco, my cousin email don't one of us when the Somali guy comes.
When a generic comes is okay.
So it shouldn't be this way. It should be the more general something acceptable, something that is decent, something associates happy with. And the brother is happy with an Allah subhanho wa Taala would help both. If this is what they tend to do is to protect themselves.
this other thing that mothers should look into it, and I know the sister would be mad and extremely upset with this one. But I really have to say, I've been emailing them for over 10 years.
And I came to conclusion that the reason that divorce takes place with a certain group of people is because of 123.
If you can
do not marry a young lady, whom her mother was divorced with diversity.
Ah, see?
I'll tell you why.
I know some sisters have been abused, mistreated, under the hamdulillah. Those they have right. And we should not blame the young lady for this or for the mother for that.
But in the West, what happened is, we came from Somalia, our women they found independency a lot of them not all of them and what they did, they love their husbands. So the divorce took place. This young lady now she doesn't know the problem and the struggle that her mother went through. So she thinks divorce is so simple. My mother survived. I can survive.
My mother is diversity. I can be divorced more. I don't care this man.
She already has experience. And that's what they always say. We're
gonna Yeah, I'm studying. I'm getting my education. When I get divorced tomorrow, she's already planning to get divorce.
She's already planning to get a divorce. Why? Because her mother or overseas is divorcing. So when you're getting married, I'm not saying we should judge the sisters like this. I know. A lot of them would get out of the list. We get off the list. But I'm saying if the sisters parent mother, or a sister is divorced, then you should be careful because most likely she would take the issue of divorce. Very light, but not all the time.
Number four. Since I'm running out of time, I will like to leave sometimes and for question answer and relieve you from this because you've been sitting here for since morning.
You should look the Madden
the family of that young lady, especially her mother and her sisters. How they Aslan miroir
hamdu Lillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah Allah
Allah Khadija jaquan Kalia Kitab Kayla, and she is a small mother like this. she respects her husband and hamdulillah she's a from a good family.
She's from a good family. So be careful how do you know if this woman can be sustained and you can keep this wife is by watching learning asking about her mother and her relatives sisters and so on. But there are always exceptions are the Salatu was Salam Nabi waha in case you know who you are, you have a cabana
caffeine. So, caffeine, so it could happen both ways.
Now, let us go quick, quick, quick, quick. What a sister may look into a brother should look into a sister,
which is the biggest mistake which is is
the beauty and we said we should look over that second thing, that
that the look is not the beauty of the face, but the physical appearance. And that's why is that a human is a main nature is a man's nature that he they like women with a certain looks and that's why most of the fitness centers, their members are women. Because women know that men like this by nature, therefore they have to look a certain way and so on. But men of course
He has a different agenda and different conditions.
Other thing is what if you lack the men you look in women?
studies show is the smile
is the smile. If the sister has a pleasant smile, will hamdulillah that commitment after cassava 10
that's a different case of 14. No, stay away from that one.
Also
mean like a women that is
a rational women who can analyze situation, puts her emotions aside, rationalize, analyze the situation, and they come to a rational conclusion. And this is what most men look for. Also, men, usually like women who beautify themselves, beautify themselves for their husbands net, they beautified by nature, but they also beautify. Now, most of the most Somali women and mainly Muslim men, but also generally Muslim women. They are very attractive or they pride themselves when go to miss forehand DeMarco
Marquis Bahia.
They only look beautiful when they when someone else is going to look at them.
near their husbands. All the dev console Evie shuwa lady nica earlier
all the beautiful did Ed McCullough heading somewhere else not not for the husband and it should be either way around. Women should be very modest outside and it should be beautiful for her husband beautifier as one of the brothers was saying that. He said every time that my wife dresses nice, is when I'm drawing and I see her nice is when I'm driving her to a wedding
to our wedding or we're going for azima
so he said I called her over the phone and I said
our new banner dear girl member one assuming we are invited so get ready. So on hamdulillah das was about having children. It was for Hennessy you know hamara the everything. He say I walk into my house and my wife is so beautiful.
So beautiful.
so gorgeous. He said Valkyrie one for instance,
I closed the door I sat down max it was a memory hog and let's go
it's a no there is no invitation.
I just missed the beautiful my wife and I want to see and enjoy my wife. Say to the macabre ba Are you serious?
Are you serious?
All day long. I was for you. Let's go. Huh? No.
This what she did. She took her hand and she mopped her face.
Imagine hamady in the cushy.
California Water which again,
we're here to work at Emily's
organ arrow.
Now, this should not be the case.
Maybe some of my other con Alma Otto salia men either Nevada he has OSHA
solid macusa issues issue with her. She is so beautiful for her husband. And when he tells her to do something she obeys. There's a lot of talking Sharla. And I don't want to overkill you with this. But I will tell the sisters one last night see him. And this is for men and this is the status that the Western and the eastern society came conclusion they said minko man when he's on his 20s he's more concerned about the looks of that young lady. How fine she looks, how beautiful she looks 30s they don't look into beauty much. But they look into their intellect intellect. She's intelligent, she's smart, she's rational. For these men, they want someone who will take care of them.
And also
someone who will take care of you know the his needs. Someone who will not say Orinoco Toronto, Toronto, Canada know someone who will take care of this is the 320s appearance 30s logic and rational and disability 40s someone who will maintain and take care
care of him. This is the three categories of men of men and this is what they like. So when the sisters Mashallah is dealing with this she has to be my next shallow maybe one day we will talk about how to maintain this marriage. Husband and wife got together. Sometimes they said, marriage is the end of love or the end of love is marriage. It shouldn't be like this as a matter of fact, it should be the key of love is marriage. Because when Allah subhana wa tada when you get married, you're your brothers, your sisters, your friends, they all give you gifts and the gifts of Allah subhana wa tada is where jalapeno commoditised wahama This is the gift of the marriage. So inshallah
maybe one day perhaps we will talk about how to maintain a relationship between husband and wife. What this what I have to say Allah subhana wa tada
joke on my blog.