How To Love

Omar Suleiman


Channel: Omar Suleiman

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Michelle, a lot of you are really, really thirsty. Like you guys were like doing jumping jacks while I was talking to yourself, like half of the back of the message, like cleared off as soon as you said, Go get drinks. So but but still, with that being said,

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one of the things that I that I want to do, you know, I understand that there are people that represent different demographics of the community here. So we've got parents here, we've got teenagers, we've got younger kids who are looking like what are these guys talking about? You know, I mean, we have different demographics I'm going to focus on and then I can't, because I don't believe in accommodating everybody. So I'm sorry, some of you are going to feel extremely left out of this talk. Okay, I'm going to focus on who I think is the most important, which is that that age that early, you know, that early age of teen the teenage years, when you're just starting to

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discover or someone who's going through a really bad relationship right now, or someone who's the one, right now, if I had YouTube, to my to my benefits my disposal, I want you guys to go look up a video whenever you get the chance. All right. You don't have to type this in your phone. It's easy. Stop, stop looking for excuses to use your phone. Everyone got the number? It's almost like you're typing really long questions to stop, just wait till the end. Why guys and girls can be friends. Anybody seen that before? Why guys and girls can't be friends. Okay, it's not an email. It's not gonna be a boring *. Okay, it's not going to be a lecture. It's literally a college student. This

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guy on some campus, I forgot who was non Muslim, who basically went around asking guys and girls, if they could be just friends with the opposite gender. Right? So all the guys that he was asking, you know, we're like, can't write, you know, the girls like, Yeah, of course. Yeah, I have plenty of guy friends, guy friends, you know? And then he kind of he kind of flips the script. And he goes, Well, do you think that that guy friend of yours would be willing to date you? If you were to offer yourself to Him? You know, like, yeah.

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So then, you know, point being made. Basically, guys and girls cannot be friends.

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You have to understand this, especially girls. Okay? Those of you who think this way, see all the guys know, you guys know this? Right? You can make this up and you can you can try it for yourself or for someone else. But But girls, trust me. We're men. We're not going to lie to you guys and girls cannot be friends. Unless you guys have been neutered. You are not.

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You cannot be friends.

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Okay, suppose everyone who stands up? Does anyone have any objection to that? Anybody?

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We've got that out of the way. How many of you watch Nancy Grace?

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sisters? Nancy Grace. Guys, Nancy Grace.

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If you're a guy that wants to Nancy Grace, maybe you can be friends.

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So there is you all remember the ice and mud thing? The girl that disappeared in New Jersey?

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Right? You guys remember that? Right? So Nancy Grace, whenever they were looking for her.

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Nancy Grace, basically what she does, she's a reporter on CNN. And what they do is they they try to find subjects that will, you know, invoke a sense of emotion and things of that sort. So even sometimes topics that aren't really that important, right? And that's what the news does, right? It's like, okay, 500 Kids died in Somalia today. But Britney Spears shaved your head, right? And that's headline news. So what she does is she always goes out and CDC finds the most newsworthy, or the things that will keep people's attention. So hamdulillah they decided to talk about a Muslim, right? Unfortunately, she wasn't really kidnapped. But they decided to talk about a Muslim sister,

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right, who was going through that ordeal. And what she did was she brought her her brother. Right on the phone. She had her brother on the phone. And she's really, really, really annoying. All right, I can't stand her. I couldn't stand it before this whole thing happened. But anyway, what she's what she was hinting at was that the girl ran away because she was forced into an arranged marriage. Right? That's what she's sensing. So she's going after her brother, who you can imagine at that moment doesn't feel like dealing with this whole thing. But this is what makes the news, right. This is what makes the news news going after her brother and saying we're seeing a lot was he in a love

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marriage? or was she in an arranged marriage? Right? And what she was hinting at, she said, Where was your marriage arranged? Or was your marriage a loving marriage?

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Right? And essentially, he's saying no, you know, he's saying no, you know, I met with my wife a few times before, you know, we got together and then we got married and things of that sort. And then she said, Well, here in America,

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we get married. We have love marriages. We get

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When we love each other, right and that's what's your thing? That's the kind of love. The issue here is that our Deen the concepts of our Deen the things that make Islam Islam are consistently under attack, you are consistently being told that your religion is backwards, that your religion is not applicable to, you know, to you as in 21st century America, you are consistently being given that message I'm consistently being given that message. We watch movies, we listen to music that gives us that message. Right? The people around us give us that message. Sometimes Muslims act that way, right? Because whenever Muslims, you know, start to behave in a very different way. Whenever,

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whenever a non Muslim is in the room, and we become apologetic over our faith. No, no, we're not terrorists. We don't believe in violence. We don't believe in jihad. There's no such thing as Yeah, you said anything about jihad. There's no such thing as kajiado what are you guys talking about? We're just like you Let's all just hold hands and sing Kumbaya.

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Let's have an interfaith dialogue, which is really just me trying to be accepted. Right? We we have kind of accepted this inferiority thing.

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Right. It's not very complex. We think that our Deen is inferior. We think that our Deen is what makes, you know, our countries back home or where our parents came from backwards. Right? We think it's a slap. We take Unfortunately, the cultural because of our ignorance, the cultural innovations that have come down been passed down to us we think Islam is backwards because of those cultural innovations. Right? We think the only reason the Muslim world has dictators and has oppressors. And the only reason why they haven't gotten so far with this and this and this is because of Islam. We have an inferiority complex but Islam is what took a very indecent bunch called the Arabs of the

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Southern century. Okay, and turn them into an ideal civilization. This is not Islamic history. This is history. turn them into the people of morality, turn them into a people of progress, turning them into them people of decency, right, turn them into a people of dignity. turn them into a people that gave birth to math that gave birth to to law as we know it today. You know, all of these advancements came from the list of them world medical advancement, right? Even the numbers that we use today, for all of this came from a people that were barbaric, that were so backwards that you know, miraculous whenever he was seeing the dream of the prophets on the lot whining or something

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when he What did he say to the troublesome young. So, you know, I know that I knew there was a profit coming, but I don't think he'd be from you guys. Like seriously, you are the most vacuous people on the face of the earth. And it's not made them human. It's not made them civilized. It's not made them dignified. Right. So that's the first thing when we say Paulina did not get warmed up a bit Islami, Nina McGee, Mohammed in some a lot of money, we sent him the V and rasuna. Were pleased with the laws Our Lord, we're pleased with the cinemas, our team, were pleased with the messenger. So we'll love running with them as our profits. Were making the testimony that you know

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what we know that this is good for us. Not only are we submitted, not only are we being obedient, we understand that everything that is in the plan, and the sooner is better for us that the creator knows better than me as a creation. Because I'm limited by my senses. I can be fooled by my senses. And let's face it, we're pretty stupid creation. When it comes down to it. You can be sitting on a rollercoaster ride, and a cardboard box to jump out at you. And you'll scream. It's a cardboard box, you know, it's a cardboard box. When you get on the ride. You know that that's not really you know, SpongeBob coming to kill you. But you still scream. Why? Your senses you're limited by your senses.

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It's a 4d world for us. You're limited by your senses. Right? Allah Subhana time knows what's best for us. So number one coming to you know, coming to the conclusion that Allah knows what's better for me and I accept this wholeheartedly. And I understand this is what made a very uncivilized people a backwards people civilized in the first place. And as a human being this is what's going to give me purpose in life. Because you know, I have a lot, there are so many books that have been written, right? I remember one book, The hell of a purposeless life, the health of a purposeless life, a life of no purpose. And, you know, the football hot the scholars of tusky they call it a

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haven little of the hell of being deceived of deluding yourself. Right. And this is essentially what's happening when we're actually believing that our way is inferior. And let me tell you why it's had a loss. I you know, I appreciate what he put him, you see that he brought statistics, right? He didn't just say, as soon as as this No, these are statistics, sometimes we need to be slapped upside the head with those things. And, you know, some kind of luck when it comes to the idea of a love marriage. Right. And essentially, it's about infatuation. As we said, some how a lot you see all of the pleasant things that the other person is putting up as a front

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Right, you see their best face, and you have no idea what's under that wrapper. Right? It's almost like looking at a piece of chocolate that's wrapped up with a nice wrapper, not knowing what the ingredients are not knowing where it came from not knowing anything about it and saying, I want that.

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Just because of the rapper. Right. And that's kind of the first night after the first night that you get married. After all that stuff has happened, you've already experienced, you've already experienced the positive aspects, you've already experienced the joy of love and the joy of going out together and the joy of this first time and that first time, the first time we held hands The first time we shared a smoothie, the first time we went to the movies together the first time this is the first time that

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and then marriage comes in all marriages is a bundle of responsibility.

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And you are going to regret that parents for the rest of your life. You're gonna hate yourself somehow a lot. What happened? That front is not there anymore. You're seeing the person for who they are all the makeup is gone. Right makeups not there anymore. Now you got white cream everywhere.

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And Winnie the Pooh, you know, a PJs and stuff like that. Like now you've got what happened? Where did it all go? That's not what I signed up for. It was all the fronts. It was all the fronts, right?

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And infatuation is the key. So Pamela, what does Islam give us in return? Because you know how a lot a lot catalyst kind of time demanded us to be monks, right to live celibate lifestyles, be very tough for us. Everything that Allah gives us, everything that allows parents either has provided in this life that offers joy through a haraam Avenue, Allah subhanaw taala has provided an alternative. There is nothing in this life except the last kind of Allah gave us a Hello alternative. And that's purely from the mercy of Allah subhanaw taala. You know, I didn't remind him Biblical Studies. Do you know an old Christian theology? Getting married is frowned upon. This is disgusting, right?

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celibacy is the only way if a person gets married that person is someone who's doing something detested repulsive out there that right, so how to love. I mean, in other theologies, obviously the only way to really achieve spiritual illumination is to go to the extreme. being celebrated living at living that life right as a monk, in our Deen, we seek a loss of hundreds out of through marriage, which gives us joy anyway, somehow a love marriage is half of your deen, that's Russia. That's a Russia that half of your deen is something that's as tangible as marriage as making that work as seeking the pleasure of Allah subhanaw taala through another human being, through showing

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mercy to another human being, right through restricting your ego with another human being. And here's what happens whenever we get into the whole love marriages and infatuation. I did a little bit of research myself, you know, the whole first left thing you know, I'm not even going to talk about something as extreme as as losing your virginity, talks about the concept of your first love. There is a Pittsburgh sociological journal, and what the statistic that they have the you know, how many people actually end up marrying their first look?

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You know, how many people actually out of marrying the first look?

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Anyone want to give me a percentage

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5.85%. So, that means if you meet 100 people, 99 of them ended up marrying someone or if they even got married, right? 100 of married people, 99 of them married someone that they did not think they were going to be with

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99 of them. 99 of them fell for it.

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And you think a Lost Planet Allah is giving us something that's hard. Ask the people that have been through relationships, that's a hell that's a one rule to invest emotionally invest yourself emotionally into something that's not even going to give you anything at the end of the day. To tell someone your secrets to trust somebody you know, and the extent of the trust the long time I don't know how far it goes sometimes, right? You trust them with your secrets. You trust them. You say I want to be with you for the rest of my life. We trust them with parts of your body. Right? I've had many times kind of luck in my six years as being the amount I retired from the lock lock and I found

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This is yours. This is your this is all you

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know, some kind of luck. So I had so many situations religious MSA, kids, kids that were like all into it. Right. And the sister who wears a Jonathan's and Bob says, Well, we Skype and I decided I can take off my hijab in front of them on Skype. I just take off my job because I know I'm gonna marry her. I know I'm gonna marry him. It never happens. never happens. Why? Because there's no better candidate from the last panels on it. It always falls apart. It always falls apart. That's a hell.

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That's punishment in this world to go through relationship after relationship after relationship. And every time you get into relationship, you know what a piece of you dies, capacity to love dies capacity to trust, a piece of that goes away. Right? Your emotion, all of it, it goes, it gets lower and lower and lower your expectations. They only rise, because you're seeing more and more into our thoughts, right? Somehow a lot, you know, when he when he talks about how detrimental pornography is, has been on society? Why has pornography been so detrimental to society? Why about why is all this whole, you know, this image that's being shoved down our throats? Why is it so detrimental?

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Because it's not real, it's not reality. And the fact of the matter is, is whenever you find out that reality is a lot harsher than what it's been made out to be. And it's held its punishment, it's genuine,

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consistently going relationship after relationship after relationship, trying to make it work, trying to find a way to make this head up, trying to find a way to get my parents to agree with this. And then that doesn't happen. It's kind of luck. And let me tell you why I lost parents out of stops. And you know, we want to talk about practicality. Muscle muscle, a lot of them said get married for for more, you know, you can get married for four reasons, you get married, for a person as well, for their status, for their beauty or for their deep for me not to do it. But to choose Dean, or else, you know, may your hands be covered in dust, meaning it's permissible. Look, you can

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get married to a person because you like the way they look. It's hot, but it's not smart.

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It's not smart, allows planets, it gave me that options from from a fifth perspective, as long as you fulfill the requirements of merits from both sides. If you decided to pursue a person for their beauty, talent, it's just not wise, it's not smart. Because that's not something that's going to last, the looks will go and then you'll have to deal with the other stuff. And the other stuff might not be so pleasant. And what a loss parents out of is protecting us from is having our rationale slanted. Our thinking slanted, no one of you can tell me that dating does not make them biased and does not does not make them make, you know an uninformed decision. Marriage is a lifetime

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commitment. This is the person that's going to be the other parent of your children. This is the person that's going to come this is the person you're going to confide in. This is the person when you go through financial difficulty, the economy is only getting worse. And trust me, you will go through financial difficulty at least once in your life, you will write this is the person that you're gonna have to lean on for support. This is the person you're gonna have to lean on whenever you get betrayed on the outside. And if you if you're not making a rational and informed decision, whenever you get married, then you're just like that person was basically willing to eat a piece of

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chocolate just because they liked the way the wrapper looks. Right? Allah subhanaw taala wants us to make the best decision. Why? And let me tell you what, a lot of times we go into a relationship when the whole headcover crochet bond deceives us shavon makes things seem how to write at least we're not doing this at least we're not doing that. But we're gonna get married. But we only talk about the you know, here and there. You know, some had a lot of say one deceives us and he deludes us, but let me tell you what happens. Right? Here's what I've dealt with a million times, and I'm sure he will say the same thing. Whenever you say, but I like her for her religion, too. She's a religious

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person. Or he's a good brother. Right? It's not just that, but why do you think he's religious? Right? Why do you think she's religious? What caused you to have a biased view at this point? Let me tell you something. If you already want to marry someone for other reasons, you will make that person out to be religious and even even if they're not religious. You know, Michelle loves She's so good. why she's so good. She listens to source document every night.

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You know, you ignore all the others though. Mashallah, he's such a good brother. He's so religious. Why is he sorted this fella he prays five times a day.

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So hobby

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to be whatever you want him to be because you already want him. Your decision making has been slanted and you're about to make the most important decision of your life and it's biased and it's crooked. Why because you allowed your infatuation to cloud your rationale your judgments, and a loss of hundreds out of this not want us to do them. Essentially, you know, some people say well does that mean you know we go all for arranged marriages right? You know, it's funny, whatever the older generation, no offense, I told you, I'm sorry, getting 111 demographic, right. Whenever brothers and sisters brag, you know that I never saw your brother before we got married.

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I didn't know how she looked.

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That's not gonna work right now. It's just not gonna work. Okay? And it's not the cinema. It's not from the cinema, right? The Prophet sly send them, he gave permission, you go and you look right not not without Hades out. I don't know where we've got this idea now that women can take off their heads out when they're being considered for marriage. Right? So how to look not without a job. You look at the person, right? You look at their face. You You know, you get to know one another fine. In a holiday. I'll talk about what that means exactly. Unless I hit that five minute Carter, or time but you those things are factors in the marriage. There are factors in the marriage. But what do you

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look for first? What is the basis for your pursuits of a first

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Dean? Right? So essentially, when you want to eat a piece of chocolate, does anyone have a piece of chocolate here? I need a demonstration or a piece of gum

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or something?

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I'll save the Butterfinger

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If I don't know what a good cat is, if I just got off the boat from somewhere else in the world, and they did not pick us that's a really backwards country. Because what

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what's the first thing I want to know about this?

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ingredients? What is it? What is it made of? Right? Is it chocolate? Is it hard candy? It can't handle hard candy? I'm not a big fan of caramel. Um, you know, the white top? What is it? Milky Way? What is it? You know? What is it? The first thing you want to know are the ingredients.

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Ingredients are something that you look for. And you know what that's going to lead you to the next step. Where did it come from? Where was it manufactured? Look, let me tell you guys a secret about chocolate. It comes from Switzerland. It's awesome.

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What? An English.

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I wasn't very impressed with the food. And then I was just in the UK last week, they were giving me a hard time over my American accent.

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Like somehow I don't know how you adapted here when it comes to like, because everything I would say there turned out to be funny. When I got to the airport. I got to the airport and I was calling my brothers and I said that I'm wearing khaki pants and a brown sweater. They just bust out laughing I'm like why are you guys laughing? Apparently pants over there means underwear.

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You ever seen say trousers. That's why everything was funny over there. First you want to know the ingredients you pursue on the basis of what it's made of. That's what a loss of palates Allah has given to us. Pursue on the basis of Deen not that every single person who has Deen is going to be compatible with you. But the basis of you're looking at a person in the first place is Dean what it's made of.

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Then you want to know where it came from? Either attack amento Dona Dena, what?

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If someone

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actually gave us two criterias By the way, for looking for a person considering a person Deen and character Deen and character, the inner beauty of a person the way that person acts the way that person treats people. Right? All of that is considered and cool because you know what, there are people that have religion. They were religion on their sleeves, but their character is terrible. They have no character whatsoever they're rude they don't smile at people they're not you know, they're gonna their safety with their business practices. And the profit slice on them when he was asked about the woman who was was slept was was rough with her neighbors who was abusive towards her

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neighbor was verbally abusive towards her neighbors. When she prayed. Right, she was doing salon she was doing the cast, she was doing all the outward rituals. What did the prophets lie Some say about her?

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What did he say? Somebody told me? So how about the problems I saw there's a woman who prays he she did all that stuff but she was abusive towards her neighbors. What are the problems I'm say about him? I'm missing can't answer. He's not gonna bail you out. What did he say?

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Come on.

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he cannot. Right. We all know that she's in Hellfire apart usually even the adults will say she's in hellfire. But the prophet sighs on set something else. The Prophet sly Sam said La Jolla. He had he have enough. She has no good inside of her. She is devoid of spirituality on the inside. She's in the Hellfire, meaning what hook the inner beauty of a person translates to how they deal with the people. Right? So you look towards their deep you look towards their character, then is it important to consider beauty? Is it important to consider physical attraction? Yes, it is. It's not how long the province is I would not have given permission to

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Look, these were Sahaba these were the greatest men, you know, these were this was the greatest generation. Why? Because if I'm not physically I'm not saying that she, you know, that person has to be, you know, what I've been looking at, you know, in terms of billboards in terms of what I've been seeing on Whenever I log, whatever, that I'm not saying she has to look like that, right. And by the way, let me tell you something, people who aren't picky with looks, end up marrying someone marrying someone that that totally is below their standards, like 10 years later, once they start balding,

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and getting fat. And all of a sudden, the standards have gone down. Right standards are not there anymore. So I'm not talking about being too picky, buts. But I'm talking about minimal physical attraction, something that will help me to lower my gaze. That's practicality, loss, pentatonic gives us stuff, right? I need someone that's going to help me lower my gaze. I need to look towards someone that will help me lower my gaze. That's fine. that's acceptable. Right? The other factors come in. Right? And yes, is heavily considered guess. Let me tell you why. The main reason why marriage is and by the way, you know, the statistic, I'll be the first to admit this statistic

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that's, that shows how much more successful arranged marriages are than love marriages. This is what they would call it, right. Obviously, they're different degrees of arranged marriages. But the statistics show that arranged marriages are much, much, much more successful. But I'll even say that statistic is biased because of culture, no doubt about it. Right? In some cultures, you know, getting a divorce is blasphemous, right? So yes, that statistic is bite. But, but at the same time, one of the major points that's made there about why it's better to marry with your family on your side, right? Where there's agreement between the families where there's where there's a sense of

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Sakina, where the environment is tranquil and peaceful, is because whenever you have problems in your marriage, you will have problems in your marriage, who are you going to go to for support,

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you're going to go towards your family, you're going to go towards your you know, you're going to go towards your family, you're going to count on them, even if you think that you're not going to count on them, at the end of the day, you will go back to them counting on them. If two people get into a marriage, where the parents don't like each other, the parents don't like the other person. And we've we already made this happen. And then we're saying Dad, Mom, you have to you know, you got to deal with this, it's going to happen regardless, what happens is when that when those problems start to take place, they have no one to look to for support. Right, the out the out the external

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environment is actually pushing them to separate. Right. And that's going to come most of the time when people get married only because of infatuation. Because they've spent time with each other. so on so forth. That's usually what's going to come is an unsupportive environment. That's not what Adam and Eve, that's statistics. That's how it is. Right. And if everything around you is pushing you to separate, you know what the divorce rate in this country is

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55%, when you get married, you are more likely to get a divorce in this country than to stay married. That's terrible. So how to love when you get married, I have a great imagine when people are walking the island, this country, you know, it's not even a 5050 chance anymore. Most likely, the person that I'm walking the aisle with right now is not going to be my wife in a few years. That's terrible. Why? Because you know what, it's not all that it's being made out to me, we have to trust that Allah Subhana Allah has our best interests in mind. So with that being said, I want to just I know that I'm gonna get the notes. So I just want to, because I know that people always say

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this isn't practical. Right? It's not practical, we understand the concept, we have to trust the last printout, we have to submit. So I want to I want to try to give some some tips.

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Usually the major obstacle to marriage, because usually what's going to happen when people say, Well, I want to get married, but who's stopping me?

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Parents, right. And to all of the parents here,

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I will address you directly. Now. Do not expect your kids to stay away from how long when you're making plans so hard. And how long is so easy to them, do not expect them to stay away from

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you know, some kind of luck, the scholars have emphasized both past and present, the importance of helping people to get married.

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I remember the number I don't think a lot to have even was talking about you know, the priority and Zika the priority and his account, give charity to a poor person who's having trouble getting married, healthier, help help these people get married. So that's a priority in this day and age because of the the incredible amount of fitna around us. Right. How long is so easy, don't make hella hard. It's it's just we're just not living in a society anymore. Where even if you go to these websites, right, it's like somehow

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Look at the demands right 30 year olds dermatologist, see, you know, seeking, you know, 32 year old dermatologist from Hyderabad, or from Google or from whatever it is or from from Ramallah, or whatever it is, whose grandfather wrote a donkey with my grandfather something like,

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seriously. And then you say you're not racist. And then somehow whenever the time comes, whenever someone comes, who has been who has followed who's compatible? Right? Well, they're not from our family. They're not from our race. They're not from our tribe, they're from a different country. Oh, don't you know, all of these people are like this, all of those people are like that. That's a 10 mc panel. And you wonder why your children are not motivated towards doing things the hard way. So parents, make sure that you're supportive, even if you are not, I'm not even gonna pay attention.

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Even if you are, even if you're not in agreement with that person, right? Even if your kid comes up to you at 18 years old, and says, Mom, Dad, I want to get married. Even if it's not realistic, at that point, at least show some support, at least say, okay, we're gonna help you and shuttleq you know, just get through this much. And I don't mean get through med school and residency and then get get a job for two years. Right? It's unrealistic, I'm sorry, get through this much, then inshallah we'll help you. We will help will support you. So

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you know, at least show them support, show them that I'm in your corner, that I want to help you I understand this is an obligation, I'm going to be on your side, because it makes the youth very, very, very hopeless, when they get just a flat note from their parents. So we have to support our youth and show what's on it and getting married. And yes, getting married young is from the sooner getting married young is from the sooner Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, the person who gets married to protect themselves has a right upon a loss of hands on it to be supported a loss of Hannah hoods Allah is not a half a million dollar making, you know, Dr. Somewhere, a loss of habitat

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as the creator of the universe. And the person who tries to protect themselves for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala and goes out, you know, seeking marriage, the hard way, a loss of hand wants out of has guaranteed them that he will help. So we have to trust the last rounds out also As parents, we also have to have our trust in the last panel. Now on the on the flip side of that, and I remember

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I remember seeing a buddy Yeah, just recently, he posted something on his Facebook, that was really, really interesting. But he said basically, if you know, if your mom is still folding your bedsheets and still doing everything for you, then don't expect to just get a wife who's basically going to replace your mom, you have to also show that you're responsible enough inshallah, that you're making steps towards that, that you're motivated. That's you're on your way to trying to become financially independent, so on and so forth. Okay, make that way, fine. Now, let's say that the parents are not agreeing to the person that wants

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all right.

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There are plenty efficiency.

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Seriously, there are plenty of plenty of zombies in the masjid. There are plenty of

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plenty of fish in the sea. Now, if it's a situation where this is a person that is truly, you know, some have a lot who's really on a different level, seek the counsel of the Messiah, you know, seek the counsel of the mountains, trying to get people involved, make his life a little bit harder. Give me more work. Let me tell you why. You know, in many communities when I say that I feel guilty, because the first thing that's gonna come back to me is that people are gonna say, we don't have the mountains in this community. Dallas is blessed. Dallas is blessed, Mashallah, there's the mountains everywhere. Use those amounts. Use those counselors, get other people involved, fine. And at the

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same time you pray, it's the bottom. You know, this is the biggest decision in your life, you pray, it's the photo. And when you pray is the photo, please don't expect a dream to come. And if you see a dream, you've been thinking about that person anyway. That's not the answer. Here's the file. All right. If you if you practice the font on the machine while you saw him, and as you saw your knight in shining armor, it's just because you were thinking about, it's not it's the color, it's the hollow, you're essentially asking Allah subhanaw taala if this is good for me, make it easier for me if it's bad for me, put obstacles between me and it's simple as that. Right? Trust the loss of

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avocado that sometimes people come to me and they say I want to praise the thought of, you know, how do I increase the font and then when I tell them what the photo is, they're like, Can I just make the last parts out to give me that person?

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So basically, you're saying whether it's a good move or not, I still want that one. Even if it's good or bad, trust the loss. rate is the bottom and do not listen to me.

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Very carefully, sometimes you will be justified in doing this. And sometimes you will find someone who's compatible, but your families are not agreeing, you don't understand how important families getting along, is our marriages, have no idea how to love it is that important, it's that crucial, right? And do not sacrifice a relationship that started with your, with your existence on this earth. For a person that you've known for two, three months, seriously, don't sacrifice a relationship for 2025 30 years, for a person that you've known for 234 months, you cannot be willing to throw that out of the door, you can use, right, if your parents are unjustified. And really, you

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know, you're there not many options, get someone else involved, try to reason with them, try to bring them in some lots either to you know, try to bring them to to agree to that. But then, you know, just make sure you are not going to be one of those people who comes and says, Well, in this school of thought, I don't need a winning, come on.

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Don't play that game. Don't play that game. Or, you know, technically speaking, I don't need my dad to agree, I don't need my mom to agree. Right? Don't do that. Don't throw away those relationships, if you start and this is why, again, the rock never lost the wisdom of this team. If you start and you make a rational decision, and when you are, when you are looking at potential candidates for marriage, you don't have anything that's that's making buys that slanting you towards one direction or the other. And you asked the TOEFL the loss of how to add, and you and you include your family, all of your family from the very, very, very start. And so lots out of you will find that person, be

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patient, you will find that person, do not put yourself through the torture of relationship after relationship after relationship, thinking that that's a better alternative that's just gonna make you more depressed. That'll ruin you even more. And I can tell you some kind of law, many, many people that you might look up to and respect. They've been through that too. Everybody goes through a phase, right? But just make sure that when the last part of Tata guides you again, when you are going to make the most important decision of your life, make sure you make it considering all of the factors. And if your family parents, please listen to me. Cooperate with your children, help them

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right. Don't be hypocritical with your standards. help them find that right person, be supportive of them. Listen to them if they have someone that they're considering. Listen to them. Right consider son had a lot but the best option in that regard. Right and make sure that you don't allow them to become hopeless because if they become hopeless, essentially say mom became hopeless at NASA. Sign up, say Brian became hopeless or blessa was Sultana, he became hopeless he distanced himself from a loss. That's why Satan does what he does. Don't allow your kids to become homeless, help them and youth don't become hopeless. Because even if your parents are terrible, and even if your parents are

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not helping you out, if you go out and you form a how long relationship,

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you're still going to bear that burden on the Day of Judgment.

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Okay, you're still going to bear that burden. So until it comes, my time is up. I'm gonna stop blogging and I think we'll take questions and some luck