Channel: Nouman Ali Khan
Allah instructs Prophet SAW to ‘lower his wing’ – to have care and heightened sensitivity for the believers. Nouman Ali Khan explains that if Rasul SAW was instructed to have care and sensitivity to the believers in his interactions and communication then what about us? We should take care in the way that we deal with people.
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hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was Salam O Allah see the via even mousseline wa aalihi wa sahbihi wa ministered nabeshima t laomi Deen Allah Masha Allah Minho, Amina Latina Manu, I'm sorry heart, whatever sobbing happy, whatever. So b sub m in Europe and I mean, my dad for the wilhemina shaytaan regime, Rockfield Janaka. demented we are committed meaning rubbish awfully sorry. We're silly Emily looked at me listening if Coco Lee I mean yeah but I mean are messengers of Allah alayhi wa sallam
is the most noble of all of Allah's creation. And yet at the same time, Allah azza wa jal gave him in some places, some very unique, you can almost consider it strange kinds of advice. And that advice is so peculiar because you know, when we think of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. We think of someone who has infinitely more knowledge and rank with a large village than we do, and the his honor cannot be compared to the honor of any of us. And yet Allah azza wa jal told him what field Jana Huck, and I'll first translate this ayah literally and then I'll explain what it means. Literally the ISS lower your wing, lower your wing demand to be accommodated we need for anybody who
follows you among those who believe. So lower the profit is being told to lower his wing over anybody who follows him among the believers. Now what in the world does it mean to lower a wing a human being doesn't have wings. And this is the same phrase that he uses in the Quran for us when we deal with our parents to lower our wings workflow, homogenize Illumina Rama. So this phrase occurs on a number of occasions. Like any other language, the Arabic language also has figures of speech. It has figures of speech, like you know, nowadays in English, we say something like, Man, that was really cool. But that doesn't mean temperature. Right? It's just referring to something great, or
something impressive. But we said that was pretty cool. And some other kids are watching the same game and say that was hot. But they mean the same thing. Because those are figures of speech. So the same way in the Arabic language, there are figures of speech, but the figures of speech of the Arabic language they are associated with images. And if you understand the image, then you will understand what's being said. And then we'll understand what a large religion is saying in this ayah. You see, the idea is that birds have wings, and birds fly and they raise their wings. But the only special occasion on which birds lower their wings over something is when they're protecting
their nest. So no matter what attacks, the nest, the eggs, a snake comes in insert comes something comes, the bird is willing to take all the strikes, but not let any harm come to the nest inside. It's taking this protective stance over its nest, and then those that are in the nest are helpless. So the one in a position of power, the one in a position of influence in care is the bird. And the ones that are helpless are the little chicks are they the eggs underneath. So assume Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in this is in very high position. And the believers are nowhere compared to those who love them. So I want you to understand something. You know, nowadays, when you meet
somebody, some of some of you, for example, have a lot of respect for the Imam. And you've never had the courage to come up and talk to the Imam. But the first time you came in, speak to the Imam, you get a little nervous. You know, the guy always wanted to tell you something, or, you know, and if the mom seems even a little bit upset with you, I guess I'm I'm in a hurry.
Or just a little bit, he didn't get angry at you. He didn't insult you or anything. But even if he gets a little bit upset with you, or he, he hears your question, and he says something like that, that's your question, really.
You feel so degraded and so humiliated. Why, if anybody else said that to you, it wouldn't mean much. But when you have a lot of respect for someone, even if they are a little bit a little bit critical, or a little bit not giving you as much attention, then that can become a very big deal for you. You know, I'll give you an example personally, for myself, sometimes I'm walking and 10 people want to come and say salon, and I'm saying Santa Monica, Santa Monica, Santa Monica, Santa Monica. And you can only do that so much before you I try to make eye contact with everybody because that's one of the profits
that you make eye contact with the person you say Salaam to. So I'm saying Salaam Alaikum to one person, and the other person taps my shoulder and I look over there. And it says I'm logical. And this person that I was shaking hands with feels like I ignored them. I didn't give them enough attention. You see, so their feelings got hurt. And I don't even know I just thought I shook your hand. But they feel like man, I listen to this guy every night before I go to sleep. He helps me sleep every night. And he doesn't even look at me in the eye when I say Salaam to him, you know.
So, the thing the Prophet is being told sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is that the Sahaba are very sensitive. They're very sensitive and you have to deal with them with a lot of care like a bird hovering over the nest with so we have to have so much respect for
Rasulullah Salallahu alaihe salam, and Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam is being told to have a heightened amount of sensitivity for every believer that he deals with. But what does that mean for us? That actually makes it a profound sunnah of Allah's Messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to deal with believers with care. Because the one who the Prophet is careful about I must be more careful about, you understand, so that this ayah isn't just an instruction to the suta la sallallahu alayhi wasallam. If he if he the height of heights has to lower his wings. for believers, what does that mean for you and me, we can never raise our wings are believers, we have to show this
incredible amount of humility, and care and sensitivity. When we communicate with each other. When we deal with each other with our body language, the way we look at each other Quran even criticizes the way somebody looks at somebody from another from Addis Ababa, sir, you don't have to insult someone with bad words, you could just look at them a certain way and go.
That's an insult by itself. You could just do it with your forehead. Ibis. So now
you can just swell your cheeks, you can just make a mega mega grin with your chin, and that is recorded in the Quran is something that hurts, that hurts
us. So we're talking about a height of sensitivity in communicating. So I wanted to take this a step further, how Muslims communicate with each other. Obviously, you might think we shouldn't insult somebody, we shouldn't backbite somebody, we shouldn't make fun of somebody, everybody knows the basics. But because these are about a height, heightened sensitivity, things we don't normally think about things that we don't think will hurt somebody else. I'll give you some examples. We don't think about them. We think it's no big deal. But it hurts somebody that we were talking to. So you're you know, at a gathering you say I heard your son didn't graduate? What happened?
Like, what? Why would you ask that question? And how will that help you in any way?
The only thing is, they went through a painful experience. Oh, and by the way, I heard you were looking for a job since last year. Did you find a job here? Still no job, huh? Well be able to help you in front of everybody. In front of them, you may make the offer you a level given shallow level gift.
And then somebody passes away in somebody and you didn't get a chance to attend the janazah. And you meet them a few weeks later, I heard your I heard your brother died. What happened? What kind of disease? Was it? hasta la la ALLAH forgive?
Is that hurtful? Would you want to hear those words? If your family member died? Would you want to relive that pain? And you're like, No, no, I was just asking because I care about them. I just wanted to know. And then people get married, right? People get married and say, Hey, so you have any kids, you know, kids? Still.
You don't know what's going on with their family. You don't know what their situation is. These are insensitive questions about people's personal life, that we should have more care if somebody got married. Congratulations. And that's enough. You go to their grand parents, oh, you're still not a grandparent? What's going on? Talk to them. You know, you don't know if they had a miscarriage. You don't know if they have, you know, some kind of other problem going on. You don't know anything. And it's so insensitive to do that. It's so painful to do that, you know, and people and so these kinds of, you know, questions that people ask all the time. Oh, I heard you so you have three daughters,
right. None of them got married yet. So none of them oh my god for them.
If you wanted to make dua for someone you don't tell them to their face. You make the right to Allah not to the gathering. You don't announce it by the way, the moment you say to somebody face I make the offer you that is the wrong that is the opposite of making the offer someone that's insulting someone that's humility, like it's, it's as if I told you right now May Allah forgive you.
That's not good for you. If I really wanted to forgive you, I would talk to a lot privately. Because of luck in here. You don't need to hear what I made to offer you. Allah is the one who hears you understand. So sometimes we say these things. You know, some when this happened with me, I had, you know, I have lots of children. And when I had my third daughter, I had two daughters already and I had my third daughter. I was really happy. And I bought a bunch of doughnuts and I brought them to the mustard and his brother came up to me Oh, you had a baby. Mashallah, number three? Yeah. What is it? I said it's a girl. And he said next time inshallah, you know,
and cron says one Lovage who must work Kareem cron says the one who has a baby girl and is upset and is swallowing his sadness. This is not something to be sad about or something to say to somebody next time inshallah. As a matter of fact, the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, whoever has three daughters or three sisters that is good to them is guaranteed Jenna. So this is this is not something to say next time, inshallah.
You know, so we are we are we are, we are very curious about people. We're very curious about people. So how long have you been married? So no kids yet? So are you are you the are you the first wife or the second life? You know? So his his wife died and he just got married in three months that's pretty quick. You know? People have comments about others like they have a right to say these things about their personal lives. A lot told us so head on with dada da you have Allahu?
Allah does not like hurtful things. evil things being said out loud. Now evil things can be cursing and bad language and slander and accusations but hurtful things can also be you make it look like it's harmless, but it's actually harmless. And that's what we become insensitive to Allah azza wa jal, you know taught us so many in so many I have. But I want to share particularly what the Prophet told us about the sallallahu alayhi wasallam. And I want to highlight a few of his statements that are so so powerful, what does it mean to lower your wings over another believer to care for another believer to not probe too much about their personal life to not be so curious to not know all the
details you don't have to know Allah will not ask you about anybody else's details. So I'll start with the most famous of these a hadith the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, men satara Muslim men sutra Muslim satara Allahu Allahu yamaki ama woman kashia odorata Hale Muslim kashia Allahu Allahu Allahu phebe. At the scary words, he said whoever covers up and keeps private, the private issues of their fellow Muslim, meaning they respect the privacy of their fellow Muslim, Allah will dignify their privacy on the Day of Resurrection.
And whoever wants to expose and poke in to the privacy of their fellow Muslim expose it, Allah will expose their privacy not and he didn't say your malkia he said even in this life and even if they are inside the most private part of their home that they will be exposed to level humiliate people publicly those who like to become very curious about other people's personal life so hon Allah and also the loss of a loved one who said I'm in a very strong Hadith the the way the Hadees begins shakes you. Yeah, Masha Rahman, assalam, O. Emmanuel,
gathering of people who have accepted Islam, but apparently real emaan real faith has not made its way inside your hearts yet. That's a really scary opening. A lot of messenger did not say sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Muslims. He said people who claim Islam but still Eamon is not in your hearts. What kind of scary words are those? In other words, what he's about to say is proof that he man is not in the heart, you understand? That's why he says this. So what does he say that muslimeen don't cause her to other Muslims. Don't cause her to other Muslims. In other words, now there's two kinds of words, be careful. One kind of hurt is you actually mean to hurt someone. The other kind of hurt is
you're just insensitive in the way you ask questions. You don't even mean it. But you're still causing pain. But they're both causing hurt yes or no. You see, when when rumors spread about somebody, for example, there's also two kinds of people. One kind of person loves to spread the rumor. You know what happened with this one and this one? That's one they like to hurt. They like to spread. But the majority of people don't like to hurt others. You know what they do? They're just careless. I suffered a lot. I hope it's not true. It bothers me so much that even that's being said, the fact that you're even engaging in that conversation. You're spreading it. But you're not the one
that wants to hurt. You're the one that is careless. You're the one that's careless. So when he says this whole law says the law, why don't you send them don't cause pain to Muslims. Think about that for yourself. Not you could say to yourself, Well, I don't backbite I don't slander. I don't curse anyone. I don't put down anyone. I don't insult anyone. That may be the one that does it on purpose. But am I careful enough in the way I pursue other people's information? Or what do I do when I hear about somebody else? What do I do when I hear about somebody? How do I respond? He says whether Tata Babu arati him the Hadith goes on, don't cause her to other Muslims. And then he says, Do not become
obsessed, don't follow along don't become more more and more curious about their personal situations. Don't ask others more and more and more about their personal situations.
You know, how many kids do you have? I don't have kids. You don't have kids? Really?
Why do you have to know maybe their child died? And you asked how many kids do you have? And they remember the painful death of their child. How do you know? How do you know a woman that you asked? Hey, so you have a baby and she had a miscarriage just not too long ago, and she barely got over that trauma and you're just throwing in so many baby yet.
That's it That's insensitive of you. And then there are people mothers are
to parent parents that have children that have a disability. You know, some children have cerebral palsy. Some children have cancer, some people, some children are paralyzed, they're in a wheelchair, their children and you see them and you say, May Allah give you suffer. Somehow Allah Allah has tested you. You know, they don't need those words from you. They don't need that kind of pity from you. As a matter of fact, those are the people we will be jealous of them on Judgement Day, we will be jealous of those people who take care of children like that. But we have to be this is again, sensitivity, Isn't it hard enough for them that everywhere they go people look at them strangely.
And then you come and you start pitying them in public in front of everyone. So he says the ta ta ta ta ta ta muslimeen. And then he says, well,
him woman, Tata,
Muslim, Tata, Allahu Allah ta who he says, Whoever becomes obsessed with the personal matters of his fellow Muslim, then Allah will follow up on his personal matters. Allah will seek revenge. And he will become what does it mean? Well Manta bar la hora de bajo la canopy jiofi Beatty. And if Allah becomes obsessed with somebody's personal matters, then the love will expose them, even if they are in the most hidden part of their home. This is the warning of Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, and this is something so easily violated. Just the way in which we talk about people, just the way and by the way, I mentioned talking about people, let's not talk about not talking about people. Let's just
talk about the way we look at people or the tone we use towards people. You know, sometimes Alhamdulillah I feel a kind of a love and a brotherhood and this must have been in masajid around the world sometimes even walking into a machine you can feel your being sized up Hmm
This is salaam aleikum
you know the word Salam the phrase SLM article means that I pray that you are safe. And I pray that the law of safety comes on you and the last piece comes on you and the angels this and their piece on you and you are definitely safe and you are at peace with me. And if anything I will protect you just like you will protect me This is an agreement two people make when they say what to each other. So that's why they come but on your face is something else.
Your gestures or something else. So this How is this worth? What Phil Jenna haka even takamiya meaning the last argument I will share with you, which is to me the most powerful argument, you see, all of us Muslims, Allah has given them naturally a love of Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, naturally, we hear his name, our heart just wants to say sallallahu alayhi wasallam. But let me tell you that love is like a seed. I want you to think about that seed turning into a plant and then into a tree. That seed has results. What is the result one of the results of that seed? I love my messenger so much. I love my messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam so much, that I will take extra care and extra
caution for anyone who calls Him Hamadan. Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, regardless of the color of their skin, regardless of the length of their beard, regardless of their in the machine, they're not in the machine, regardless of the print if they pray or not. Regardless if this woman's wearing a hijab or not, that's not what I'm concerned about. They when they hear Muhammad Rasulullah, they also say sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, that is enough for me to be extremely delicate with them, extremely caring for them. My love of Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam forces me to do this. And if I don't do that, if I don't do that there's something missing in me in my love of
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. This is what it boils down to. When we say what Phil Jana haka diventa, we are communal meaning. This is what it boils down to, to lower the wing for any who follow you from among the believers. You know, Allah messenger says, finally, I'll describe a quality of Rasulullah sallallahu sallam. And by the way, whenever Allah describes the quality of Rasulullah, sallAllahu, alayhi wasallam, because he is for us with swag, he is a role model for us. Every quality of his that is described becomes a mission for me, I have to have more and more and more of that quality in my life. Bill mininova rufen Rahim. Allah says, when it comes to believers,
he is roof roof means he tries to understand how they feel. He tries to see things from their point of view. So when for example, you have kids in your when you have a party, and you have a bunch of kids come and one of the families that came is a single mother or a single father with his children and the mother isn't there, or the father isn't there or the mother passed away or the father passed away? Then you're not gonna say, you know, the mothers will not hug their children in front of that child because his mom is missing. She's not there. They're gonna show a little more sensitivity, because they understand how that child will feel when these other mothers are hugging their
children. And he's thinking I don't have a mom to hug. That's That's it. That's it.
means you can see how somebody will feel. You can think about how someone will feel before you take an action. You might think what's wrong, I just had a child, there's nothing wrong with that you're missing.
You're missing something that allows messenger sallallahu wasallam had an extreme quantity of, you know, to oversee little mobiola he's extremely empathetic. He's extremely sensitive about how the other feels. And as a result of that, he shows love and he shows care, he is like him. May Allah azza wa jal give us Rafa and Rama and in that become a model of our messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, to all those that are around us, you know, Islam will spread, Islam will spread when we just have these qualities in ourselves. You don't have to give that to someone even. You don't even have to give them arguments about their what how wrong their religion is, or this or that you don't have
to get into any theology. When people see the believers being true for him. They're gonna say I want some of this because humanity doesn't have this. People don't have this. And when we exhibit the qualities of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. They humanity gravitates towards the qualities of our messenger sallallahu sallam. And so you'll see Islam will become something different in the world. When we become people that embody the characteristics of Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam Eliza will, you know, give us the strength and the commitment to be committed to those who are following his great great Sunnah aloha Medina minister Nabil sumati, Muhammad Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi
salam barakallahu li walakum wa salaamu Alaikum wa rahmatullah.