Raising Confident Muslim Youth

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hamdulillah ALLAH blessed me with a son about seven and a half months ago. And it's not my first child. But it got me thinking about the clutter problem and the question of raising children in the time, the age, the society that we live in, and there used to be a time when I used to have people ask us to ask the question in America, how do you raise a good Muslim child in America? I think that question has become nearly irrelevant. How do you raise a good child and the world has now become the question. So it's not something limited geographically to one part of the world, the fit and the exposure that young people have, to conflicting ideas, to corrupt messages, to things that can

disrupt their fitrah at an early age, those things are as accessible now here, as they are anywhere in the world. So this is a global challenge that all of us face. The Quran offers us in different places, in very brief words, entire philosophies of education. Like you can have an entire, you know, entire books dedicated to principles that would make sure that the kind of education you're providing your children, or I'm providing my child, may Allah give us the opportunity to give them the right kind of data via

that we're doing a good job that we're there. So the way I think about this problem is, what's the end goal? What's the final product? I mean, I come from sort of a business background and in business, at the end of it all, you kind of look at the final goal, you look at the sales numbers, or you look at what the final product is, and what the reviews are, and then you work backwards from there. Right? So it's not Oh, what do you teach in first grade? And what do you teach in second grade? And what do you do after this and what do you you're looking at the steps you're not looking at the destination? So I'm gonna start from the destination and work backwards the destination in my

mind for a young man and woman who's let's say a teenager, right? Is that a they're very confident in their Islam.

they know why they're Muslim. And then the the reason that they're Muslim is not because their mom and dad are Muslim, they have a much deeper reason to hold on to this religion. Because if mom and dad are the only reason or the family is the only reason or they grew up in a Muslim neighborhood is the only reason that they are Muslim, then the world, the generations now, you know, this become the norm for the next generation to depart and to do did things differently from their parents generation. So the cool thing to be is to be different from your parents. And the open minded wanting to be the explorer in you should want to do things entirely differently than the way you did

them.

And so if the idea is we're Muslim, because Alhamdulillah, we were raised in a Muslim family, actually, our children are going to have a lot of pressure put on them, that we're going to be the different kind of generation and we're gonna be different from them in every way. And it's not just in the way that we dress or in the way that we talk or in the way that we eat or in the way that we hang out, or we socialize, or the way we know technology or our language, but it's also going to be in our religion, we don't need it, we don't need to be like our you know, that's, that's what my mom used to do. That's what my dad used to do. We don't have to follow that it's actually almost reverse

engineering, the problem of the coration menu is they used to say, you know, my Alfa alayhi, Abba, Anna, but let me go and find out and we follow what our ancestors followed, we just do what they did. And now we're coming to a new problem, we're going to make sure we don't do what they did,

we're just going to do something different. And many of you may have already faced this in your own household, or, you know, families, where I am, I'm an individual, I'm my own person, I have my freedoms. I can't be You can't force me to be like you. This is America, etc, etc. But you know, it's not just this is America, somebody might say, this is Jakarta. And somebody else might say, this is Lahore 2024. You know, it does, it doesn't have to be here.

So the thing that I think about the first thing I think about as a teenager, who's confident that they're Muslim. And of course, if they're a teenager, that means they're exposed to tick tock, or whatever else is coming in the next decade. Right. And they're exposed to people of different varieties of beliefs, they're exposed to very staunch atheists, they're exposed to activists for the LGBT IQ movement, they're exposed to very staunch believing Christians, they're, they're exposed to people that are agnostic, or people that say, yeah, all religions have something good. And then we're all just kind of a big, happy fuzzy family, you can all just get along, you'll have people of

all varieties around them. And then some of those people are going to be very, very smart. Some of them will be their professors. Some of them will be their economics teachers, some of them will be their, you know, their mentor in their PhD program, eventually, one day, some of them will be, you know, celebrities and, you know, influential figures online that they started listening to the whose podcasts they started listening to, they're going to be exposed to very intelligent people who don't believe the way you do the way I do. And they're gonna say, These people are so smart, and they don't believe I mean, some because they're stupid. So am I, am I that smart for believing? Or am I

not open minded enough? Have I not explored enough? Maybe I should consider what they're saying? Maybe you should ask some of these questions. And I'm not making any of this up. Hypothetically, I've met enough families around the country and around the world, where mothers and fathers and shock will bring their young son or daughter to me that say, they have these questions. I don't know which shaytaan which, which gin, you possess them. But they keep asking these questions, and I don't have the answer, can you help them.

And so this is this is a very real circumstance that we're facing.

Confidence would be the first thing. The second thing would be that they're not ashamed of what the religion requires them. Because what the religion requires of them is a certain kind of lifestyle, they have to carry themselves a certain way. They have to use their mouth a certain way. They're sitting in high school, they're sitting on their campus, all the all the other peers are using a certain kind of language. They have a certain kind of verbal language, they have a certain kind of body language. And these kids that are now young men and women that are now confident in their religion, they're not impressed by any of that. They're not even attracted to it. They're not the in

fact, they feel sorry for those who demean their time with using that kind of vile language. They, they're not, oh, I wish I could dress like that. That's not what they're thinking. I wish I could use those words to my mom, like find out. That's not what they're, you know, before there's nowadays before there's fear of God, there's fear of mom, right? Mom's not going to be around. This is going to have to be you. So they're not tempted by what's outside. So one is they're confident in what they believe. The second is even the culture around

on them, when they see parts of their culture that goes against their religion and parts of our culture are very much in line with our religion, and parts and parts of every culture, there are things that align with Islam. And there are parts of every culture that directly contradict with the religion. And when they run into parts of that culture that directly completely contradicts with their religion. They don't feel any gravitational pull to just be like everyone else. Don't feel what you can call peer pressure, societal pressure, don't feel it.

Because they're like, you know, I don't want to be the weird one. I will one time I was playing basketball with a bunch of younger guys and

open gym. So there was other you know, it was not a Muslim space. Right? And it was Maghrib time.

We go to the corner to make science, some of the boys are kind of hesitant to pray that kind of, we're gonna pray here. Like, here. Yeah, we'll just in the corner. There's a free space, we can pray. Yeah. Okay, I'll pray. I'll pray at home.

You're so tough on the ball court. When somebody fouls you, you are a lion on the battlefield.

You're so confident. All of a sudden you became the sheep, who's afraid that somebody might see you falling in total color and sujood. Why? Because you've accepted the supremacy of a dominant culture in which this is weird. And so you don't want to be categorized as weird.

I don't care if that kid memorize the Quran, or that kid has the best weed or he went to Islamic school his whole life. The fact that he feels that for one moment is a failure. That's a failure.

I wherever I haven't you know, Allah azza wa jal, when he says in sutra and Kabu did not have the car to infer ie if I'm doing my earth is vast, worship only and only me the implication that Kenya there is doesn't matter where you are.

You have your loyalty to me, wherever you are.

You You must conform to me before you try to match him with the color of the society match with the color that Allah wants you to sit, let the love woman ask them in a way similar. That would be the second quality I would want in a young man and a woman. They feel a joy or pride in what they have. And they're not looking at something else with lustful eyes. And with, you know, eyes of want. Like, I wish I had that. Because we can't do it. Because everything's held on for us.

That would be the second. The third thing I would want for a young man and a woman, who is that they've made a commitment to constantly grow themselves to constantly learn. They know for a fact, they will never be someone who knows enough.

They will never be that person, they will they're committed to learning their entire life. And they're not ashamed to acknowledge their ignorance.

They're not ashamed to say I don't know. Or I didn't know that or I stand corrected.

And it doesn't matter if they're 14 or 44, or 74, that path to learning will never say there will never be a head on their ego when they get corrected.

They'll never be who are you? What do you think you're talking to, you know who my teacher was, you know what books I've studied, you know where I graduated from, it won't matter where they graduate from, it won't matter what credentials they have it no matter how popular they are, how many people appreciate them, they don't see any of that as a reason to stop learning. They are on a path of constant continuous growth, that would be the third thing I would want. So I'll repeat them because the list is getting longer. I want them to have confidence in their faith, I would want second thing, I would want them to have a pride in their own culture and their own values. And they're not

drawn to another culture if it contradicts their own.

And the third is they're they're in a constant path of growth, constantly learning, constantly adapting constantly evolving. They're not they're not stagnant. They're not where they were yesterday, not in terms of this de nada in terms of this linea they're constantly absorbing and taking in and taking it.

And so and there are many other qualities, but I'll just mention one more.

They won't be interested in rank. And let me explain what that means.

A lot of the world functions on rank.

And I was not too long ago I was in a country, a Muslim country where I saw it in its full glory.

Anyone who introduced themselves to you first told you their rank, said I'm ready to go. My name is Abdul Karim. I'm a doctor graduated from this University. I work at this hospital. I have this many years of experience and I am better than

the next person.

I am his older brother. I am the head of nephrology which is why I'm the older brother

and anybody who's and if you had no other credentials, so I'm ready to go My name is Aida. My son is a doctor.

My son is the or I have the

Is this business or I established this place? Alright. Everybody has any even the youth is like somebody recommended me this I'm just a student at this unit. So you're just like, well I don't have status yet. I don't have a rank yet sorry, low rank you know,

and everybody's obsessed with this rank and this you will think this is about profession or your academic accolades or your you know, your your your area of expertise it's not just there it's not just there it was rank was about which neighborhood Do you live in? rank was about which family clan you come from. rank was about oh, where you know, where you send your kid for education, social rank, educated, you know, academic rank, financial reign, and then even in the Islamic space? Mashallah, this one he has many millions of followers online?

Mashallah, none others the rank of the number underneath the video? How many views you got? What? That's a high, right? That's a real scholar. Now, that is Islam.

There's an obsession in every sphere of life with rank, how do you rank as opposed to someone else? Where do you score as opposed to someone else? I would want a young man and woman to be free from rank. They wouldn't think, Where do I rank compared to someone else? They're just thinking, how do I grow more? The third item I mentioned, that's what they're obsessed with? How do you build that and someone, all of it actually stems from one place. I believe, there's a million ways to think about this. And I know my time is limited in this football, but I want to just give you one thing.

Ibrahim alayhis salam

is my inspiration for sharing everything that I shared with you.

And we call this religion will let that become Ebrahim the religion of your father, Ibrahim, this young man, Ali Salam is constantly learning, adapting, questioning, investigating, he's confident in what he believes so much that he can question even his own dad and his own society, his entire culture is going against him.

And it doesn't matter. That as long as he's not fazed by that, because he has something more powerful than all of that the truth. That's what he's holding on to. And at the end of it all, he's going to lose the position he has with his people, he's going to be humiliated, he's going to even be physically, the attempt to burn him alive. None of that matters. None of that ranking matters, then none of it another is relevant to him. We were given this as an example because we will have to embody those characteristics. If I've raised someone inspired by an myself if I've become someone inspired by the legacy of Ibrahim Ali Saddam, and I can raise a child inspired by the legacy of

Ibrahim Ali Salam. I've raised a strong believer. They Yes, and I don't want to not mention something else. On the one hand, a believer is a world in and of themselves. But we are impacted by our environment. There's no doubt about it. There's no doubt about that. So if I'm going to be in an environment where everybody is using filthy language, it's going to affect me.

Allah gave the example of the real faith we have inside is a factor of two things. The example that I want to share with you from Surat Ibrahim, incidentally, Allah says, I'm Tara, which is interesting because he addressed this to the Rasul of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam First he said, didn't you see? Didn't you observe? Didn't you contemplate meaning the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi salam is the first recipient of this lesson, because he's actually in the job of producing great believers. That's his job. So Allah is first telling you it's kind of teacher training. So let's tell her turning his attention to those who love Allah azza wa sallam first by

saying, and I'm Tara, didn't you yourself, observe Did you ever contemplate the love Allahu mathan Kalimantan believer then the example of a good word crusherjaw button three button is like a good tree that I'm translating is good. But the battle actually means a land that doesn't have any infestations. You can grow soil you can grow plants on it easily Pure Land, fertile land that's actually called, you know, play game or Thebe. In the Arabic language. It's also used for other in other scenarios. If a person for example is relieved of an infection that they used to have then they became play Ube in classical Arabic, so the idea of a word that is clean, it's uncorrupted.

Allah gives the example of a word that is clean and uncorrupted. Of course, the our first receipt of that in our tradition has been this is that ilaha illallah This is the most clean, uncorrupted word there is what think about that idea of a clean uncorrupted word. How many videos do you see online behind them? There's an agenda a corrupt agenda but you don't know that used to see the video.

How many messages how many articles can you read? How many posts can you see? You see what's there but behind it is something dirty. Behind it is something unclean. And Allah says the power of a

single word that has said that in its roots and its message and its delivery, its intention, it's clean, it's pure. It's nutritious. Allah gives the example of it of a good tree. Allah could have ended there, but he broke the tree up into two parts, the roots and the branches. He didn't mention the stem he mentioned the two extremes the roots so often and further. Right. So he didn't mention you know what other places in the Quran for example, it's just as Allahu pasta Allah wa pesto Allah su P. And so to particular example, he mentioned the two extremes. And what are the two extremes, one he mentioned the root, and the other mentioned the branches. Now, because my time is up, I'll

just talk about the root.

The root is what, how does the root grow, you put a seed in, and when the root if you if you study your roots, roots actually take the seed deeper inside,

before anything comes out, actually, it goes further in. So on the outside, it looks like nothing happened.

No progress, you're putting water, it's getting plenty of sun, no progress. But inside, something is changing. And it's taking hold even deeper and deeper and deeper. And then as the roots start spreading, they don't spread upwards, they spread sideways. And then eventually, once the enough of a strong base is built, then the plant moves starts moving upwards.

We have to now think about what words are we going to share with our kids? And what words are we even thinking, consuming ourselves that have a deep impact on the way we see the world. The way we think about things the way we think about reality, a deep impact on our emotions. So there's a clear distinction being made. This is the last thing I'll share now, a clear distinction being made between words that have shallow impact, and words that have deep impact by referring to roots, Allah and roots that take hold. This means prolonged exposure. And by the way, roots will die if you don't continuously feed them. So it's not just the seed, but the root has to be nourished to this is now

the difference between words of shallow impact on words of Deep Impact. Now think about this. I asked a bunch of youth groups I said how do you learn your slang? And the most common answer was YouTube and Tik Tok. And within YouTube YouTube reels, because they're 30 seconds. Right? I don't have more time for that. Now you tell me 30 seconds of consuming something? What kind of impact is it going to have?

Is that going to be deep or shallow?

Thinking just think about that. We have now become accustomed to a quick dopamine hit. You get some motivation. And now I got my Islam. Let me know I need some Islamic stuff. Let me go and watch a few minutes of a video on something Islamic felt good. Move on. There's you're not letting something sink deep inside. Now let's compare this to what the Quran itself did.

13 years in Makkah, two thirds of the Quran is talking about building a worldview. Essentially, whether alleged talking about past nations, or he's talking about judgment, or he's talking about himself, or he's talking about the arguments the disbelievers make against the prophets, I saw them why should you believe the Quran is the word of Allah? It's not 50 It's not 500 subjects, it's maybe 10 subjects that dominate two thirds of the Quran. Why you ask yourself why why is it repeating himself so much? Why is he reinforcing the same ideas over and over again, because the root needs to take hold in depth. This needs to go in deep.

And we have not come to my understanding, I have not yet come up with a good enough plan to be able to give that to the next generation. That by the time they're teenagers, the route is deep. They're not just praying because they were at an Islamic school. They're not just coming to Juma because dad brought them there, that's too shallow. That's gonna wash away. That's gonna disappear in first semester of college. You gotta have some app, something much deeper, much more profound, much more powerful. That takes hold, even when nobody else sees it. You can't doesn't matter what shaking outside if there's a wind or there's a rain, the seed is where it is. The roots are where they are,

the tree might be shaking the tree, the roots won't get messed up, they will survive. And that's that stuff. That's the educational philosophy. That's just coming from this one little phrase that Allah has given us, a slew of it. enrich our firm, the roots don't just become firm on their own. You have to make them firm. You have to feed them. We Allah azza wa jal allow us to contemplate and to truly think about how to build the kind of education and the kind of career that will allow our generations to come to be the embodiment of this idea of slow Hatha Yoga tomorrow we'll have this summer Baraka lovely Welcome to look on his game on a fairly wet year.

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