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Guiding Our Thoughts Of Others
Channel: Nouman Ali Khan
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Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan delves into Ayats revealed on dignity and honor.
There exist two kinds of people – evil people who say things directly and indirectly and the second is careless people who don’t care about the consequences of their vile talk.
The thoughts are being criticized in these Ayats as opposed to the actual talk and the benefit of the doubt should always be given when it comes to the character of a person because this is a sign of Iman. if one indulges in this wrong behavior, then we have not humiliated that person but in reality, we have humiliated ourselves.
Listen intently and be mesmerized by this amazing lecture so that one can imbibe and inculcate valuable lessons to better oneself.
Episode Transcript ©
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What I wanted to continue is the discussion on art that were revealed in regards to dignity and honor. And how it's so easy to destroy somebody's dignity by starting rumors about them.
Now a lot as I just described in the Quran, you know, because these ayat were about our mother eyeshadow De La Hoya and her it's incredible that in the Quran, Allah did not mention her name, nor did he even refer to her as a pronoun. Meaning he didn't even say nella, Vina Joe will if ki la ha, no, no, nothing, no reference to our mother at all. Why? Because there was a wisdom in these eye art, that we should be applying them not just to that incident, but forever. The policies that are being given in these words of Allah apply forever. And I talked to you in a previous hold about about the value of these ions. But today, I want to talk to you about how and I remind you again,
there are two groups of people that are sinful in these are two kinds of crimes have been committed. One group is evil people, evil people don't give benefit of the doubt evil people want to say something terrible about someone, or they want to create a rumor, or they want to create suspicion, they can do that by a gesture, they can do it by evil words. They can do that by suggesting something not directly saying something so they don't incriminate themselves. These are evil people, people that say either they say horrible, terrible things directly, or they try to suggest them so other people get the wrong idea. But then there's the other group of sinners, which we are much more
in danger of being. And that's the careless people, people who hear these kinds of things, and they don't respond carefully. Their reaction is not careful enough. Now the thing that I want to start with these ions are very unique in the Quran. Usually, when Allah criticizes something we did, it's usually an action. Somebody who didn't pray, somebody who committed the act of shake, somebody who killed somebody who stole somebody who cheated. These are acts, or somebody who said something wrong, like backbiting, or insulting someone who has a lomasa these are things that these are acts that are committed. But in this ayah, Allah is not going to criticize an action. That's the first
thing I want you to know. Allah is criticizing thoughts. Now generally, we know that even if you have an evil thought, you're not held responsible for an evil thought, not until you act on it. Other than that shaitaan can come and whisper something to you. And you are not held responsible so long as you didn't act on the thought you thought a less protection or the below him initiate on the regime good enough. But it seems that when it comes to giving benefit of the doubt to your fellow believer, especially when it comes to their character, their dignity, their respect, then actually even the thought is something that angers Allah. Even the thought you haven't said anything yet,
you've just thought it. But even the thought is being criticized by a lot of soldiers. Later on in these Iraq, we will see that Allah will criticize the speech also because if you think something wrong, eventually you'll say something wrong. But this first idea that we're going to look at is actually going to be not about speech, but actually about thought itself. He says Lola is submitted to move. How come it wasn't the case that the very moment you heard it? Very moment you heard some rumor about a believer, the very second you heard it, your immediate reaction should have been London Mina one, one minute one minute to be unfussy him Hira, believing men and believing women
should have had better assumption and thought about their own selves. How come you didn't think better? A less criticizing now how can you set something or did something? How come you didn't think better? This is a last criticism of how much we are supposed to have care for the dignity and character of a fellow believer. Let's take a step back. I need you to understand the sensitivity of the subject in the Quran. How these are unique. You may have heard before the principle innocent until proven guilty. You've heard this before innocent until proven guilty nowadays innocent until proven Muslim, but you know regardless, innocent until proven guilty, the idea being until you show
me evidence I will not hold anything against you. If somebody makes an accusation. They say no man stole or they say AbdulKarim you know he he broke the law or something. You say I don't know. Until I see what evidence if you see show me evidence, then maybe I'll believe you. Until then I'm not willing to accept any judgment. You don't say that I'm innocent. And you don't say that I'm guilty. You just say I don't know. You just say I don't know. But when it comes to chastity or the character of a believer the policy is different. You know, in all other cases is in Jakob fasea comida. In Vienna. Quran says, If corrupt, a corrupt source comes to you with news verify. verify the
information at least just to say until I verify I'm not
I'm going to say anything we shouldn't talk. But when it comes to the character of a believer of lawgiver, completely different policy, the first part of this policy was, you must immediately not even think I don't know, you must immediately think benefit of the doubt, you must immediately think that this is wrong. Now, this is something hard to process, you don't have evidence to prove that someone's guilty. You don't have evidence to prove that someone's innocent, you have neither one. You've just heard something. Yes. If you just heard something, then Allah is actually commanding you in these IOD that number one, you can even think that they might be guilty. You can even think that
they might be guilty. And by the way, not even enough by the end of this hour called ohada. If
you're supposed to declare this is obviously a lie. But let me put this in practical terms for you. So you appreciate what I'm saying. You went shopping, and you went to the mall. And you saw this Muslim man and a woman walking together? And you know, one of them and you're like, hey, are they married? What's going on? And why they're walking together? What are they talking to each other? What's going on? I'm going to take a picture.
Picture, what's happened to a friend, you see what's going on over here, a stock photo law. And you send a story about you know, I can't believe nowadays how people are etc, etc. Okay? So if you did this, in your head, you have evidence. In your head, you have evidence and the the person responds to you. I don't know they could be talking about work, maybe they're not doing anything wrong. Maybe you're just assuming, maybe you're passing judgment, etc, etc. They respond like that. I'm telling you, what you did is evil. And what they wrote is also wrong.
If they wrote, I don't know we should give benefit of the doubt. We're not sure until we have better evidence. Why don't you follow them all the way to the car and find out?
Then that's also evil. A lie saying your response is supposed to be think better number one, and number two immediately say this is a lie. However, if going moving, this is obviously a lie. How is it obviously a lie? There's evidence to the contrary, there's suggestion to the contrary. No allies telling us that when it comes to the character of a believer, we are we are commanded by a lot of call it a lie.
Even if we don't have any evidence for the innocence or evidence of guilt, we're commanded to call it if Good move in. Lola is similar to Moo Hoo lanell movement, while not may not be unforeseen hiren wacol ohada. If como bien
la la la mia kulu Haha, how come they didn't say this? How come they didn't say this is obviously a lie. So you're showing somebody a picture? And they're supposed to if they understand the Quran, they're supposed to say that's a lie. No, what do you mean that's a lie, look at the picture. And then you're supposed to break their phone and repeat. That's a lie.
That's what's in your that's this is the command of Allah, how strongly we're supposed to be in favor of the character of a fellow believer.
Now, by the way, this policy doesn't work inside the family, this is for outside the family. This benefit of the doubt, as we will see later on, is outside for fellow believers outside, inside a husband can question the wife, a wife can question the husband. You know, inside siblings can question each other, etc. There can be cases where if you know someone, that's something else, if you're intimately connected to somebody, that's something else. But outside of that, how they've come to be and you're not supposed to say a word about anybody else, not a word, not allowed. And so now let's take another step in deeper into this ayah Allah says one minute, one minute, believing
men and believing women, he specified both men and women, even though in Arabic language, if you say me noon, it includes the German with Dr. Salim, it includes men and includes women. When Allah says cut off, let me know and he's not just talking about men. He says believers have attained success that believers includes men and women. So when he says miuna, one minute to his highlighting that the way that men make assumptions is different. And the way that women make assumptions is different. Analyze highlighting that both of them are wrong, that both have their own way of doing wrong. The other thing is highlighting is this idea of giving benefit of the doubt is a sign not of
Islam, but it's a sign of a man.
He doesn't say one Muslim, una, Muslim, he says Mina Mina, had you been movement had Eman had faith really been a part inside your hearts? Then you this thought could not have occurred to you?
The thought against somebody else would never have happened. This was a sign that a man isn't there. Then Allah adds I mean, by the way, the example I gave you, you saw somebody else, and you made a statement about them. When you saw somebody else who made a statement about them. You didn't talk about yourself, you talked about them. But Allah says Lola is eager to move who wonders Mina Mina to be unfussy him, Kayla
How come you didn't
Have a better opinion of your own self? How can believers didn't think better of their own selves? Allah is not even he's telling you and me that when you make such a comment about someone else, in a loss judgment, you have actually made that insulting comment about who, yourself, you've made that comment about yourself. Allah is also reminding us of something that the prophets of Allah morning Salaam taught us. This omaka just said, this entire, almost like one body. So you can't insult your hand without really insulting yourself. insulting your body, any part of it is actually your part of yourself, you're actually insulting your own self. When you do this. In the eyes of Allah, you
haven't humiliated anybody, you've humiliated yourself.
And then so London, we known Well, what may not be unforeseen hyaluron, wacol ohada if comorbid. And they should have immediately said, this is a deviation, obviously a deviation, you're looking at the facts and you're twisting them, you're turning them into something your dirty mind goes towards, and you want to produce from it the ugliest possible story and spin it that way. This is what you're doing. This is how you should call somebody out that says these kinds of things. This is the Qurans command, I know you know, often, it's so easy. It's it's interesting to us, too, I find it really interesting. It's very easy to backbite about someone's slander someone talk behind someone's back,
but when they're doing so, you and I feel we shouldn't say something in response. I don't want to be confrontational. I want to be respectful. This person is ripping somebody apart. That's okay. But you standing up and saying the right thing. I don't know. I want to be respectful. of them. Some of our own Allahu Allah says among you are those who listen to nonsense. You just listen to it, and you just do nothing. Allah wants you to stand up and actually be aggressive. He wants you to be aggressive when someone says something like that. And tell them this is obviously a lie. That's our way of saying, You be quiet. This conversation is not going anywhere further.
But what about the evidence? I saw them, I followed them. I saw them coming out of the building. I did this I did that. I recorded them. When you do these kinds of things. Then what's the next step of Lazarus adventures? He says in the next ayah, Lola de la Hebei or bachata
How come they didn't come forward with four witnesses?
Allah is asking, you saw nobody cares? How many witnesses Did you need for the question became among our law, for witnesses to what? For witnesses to people talking together? For witnesses like Chateau de la hotel and her walking back, you know, with suffer quantumly martellus salami, she's on the camel and he's walking her back. Lots of people saw them come back more than four witnesses. There's 100 people saw them come together. That's way more than four, four witnesses to what. And there's pretty much agreement because Quran has mentioned this earlier on in the same surah that four witnesses committing the act of Zina itself, until you see four people who have four people who say,
I saw them commit, commit the act of adultery, until you can say that you have no right to open your mouth.
This was a laws way of protecting the dignity of people. You may have famously heard that in Islam, there is very severe punishment for Zina.
It's not a punishment for Xena. It's punishment for Zina in public where at least four people can see
when you commit a crime against the public. That's not a crime. That's not a personal sin. That's a crime against society. You're spreading trash out in the open, and that's punishable. That's physically any any law, there are laws of public show of indecency. That goes along those lines. So here in these art when Allah says Allah Himself questions, also you saw her, where are your four witnesses? Well, I don't have four witnesses. But that doesn't mean I'm lying. Well, actually, maybe it does, because a law that says for Islamia to be Shahada. And if they can't come forward with four witnesses of the actives in itself, for law in the law, whom will cause even then those people as
far as allies concerned are the liars. It doesn't matter what they saw. Now, the fact that they made a suggestion, by the way, they don't even do the Quran doesn't even use the word at home, or in a claim, or an accusation. It just says if they just suggested something a little bit crooked. They didn't even say anything is like, I don't know what's going on. I'm just saying, that's enough. That's enough for a lot to say about people like that. Where are your four witnesses before you even make such a suggestion? And as far as a lie is concerned, those are alkazi boondi. Ultimate liars will not occur in the law. He homolka do not think about what I just said. Think about what Allah
has revealed in these charts, and how far we are from this policy of the Quran. How far we are
Not because we're evil, but because we're careless because we're careless and we don't know what Allah says we don't know how strict this policy is. And you know what these I thought I mentioned in the in a previous code but these are came after 30 days of the oma suffering
30 days we were looking for what to do with the situation as scandalous spread all over Medina. We don't know how to respond. And when finally these eiav came because we didn't know the Muslims didn't know a lot of revealed in the next day and this is the I want to conclude this clip by with Allah azza wa jal says, What Allah Allahu alikum warahmatu who fit dunya well, Akira had it not been for the favor of Allah in this life. And in the next life, I'll come back to that phrase, the favor of ally in this life and in the next life, llama sacrum FEMA effect on fee out of nothing.
Because of what you dove into, because of the kinds of conversations you poured into a foul bar in Arabic is when you take a glass and you pour water out in the water goes in every direction, on the floor. That's if other like a few lumen Hazel fallenness pour where people are pouring in this time of hygiene like water pours. So he uses the word father. Here he says because of the way your mouths were pouring in every direction, you were just talking casually, like it's no big deal. Had it not been a special favor of Allah on you in this life. And in the next life than a than a great punishment would have touched you already. Because of the way you casually ran your mouths because
of the way your mail just went in a redirection. That's a special favor of Allah. But this favor of Allah is not in the aka like, you know, we think about first of all decent descent is unique because Ally's criticizing not just speech. He's criticizing thought, number one. Number two, he didn't just say the punishment will happen in the next life. He said the favor of Allah, we're in this life. And in the next life. What that means is that when people commit such a crime, when people become careless like that allows law is to make them pay the price in this life. And then again in the next life, this life and then again in the next life, you look at other sins in the Quran, Allah will
talk about the payment that they will make in the next life. When Allah talks about people who commit schicke the payment for that sin is not in this life that is in the next light cover, you pay for it in the next life.
And so you have crimes that people got away with in this life and Allah says, you know that they must be akuna that those you know, has Ebola in a
car. And yes, mucuna sama, the people who commit sins, they think they got away. No, no, no, they have a terrible decision they made because they will be paying the price, but not here in the next slide. But when it comes to this sin, when it comes to making evil assumptions about people, when it comes to just running your mouth carelessly about people and their dignity and their character than a lie, saying it's only a special favor of Allah, that it hasn't hit you in this life. And then in the next Now, here's the scary part of this. The scary part of this is for those 30 days, which you know, these are kind of taken from the words of the Allahu taala and her herself.
That you know, when she was sick, she said, well now so you feel Luna eufy Luna sukima Coleus heavylift. She said, while I was sick, I had no idea people were pouring their mouths out, talking about the kind of rumor the scandal that evil people have started meaning people were careless, the evil were just a few, the rest of Medina was just careless for 30 days.
You know, Allah is now saying had it not been a less favor, because you didn't know any better. Now the IRS came later on, had you known had the IRA already been given and you still did this? Then you would have paid in this life? And in the next life?
Now the thing is, these I already came. It's been a while. So you and I have very little to no excuse to say, Well, you know, special favor of a law on us. We had no idea if we had no idea whose fault is that?
The book wasn't given. We didn't have time to open it. We didn't know what the policy is by laws origin. We didn't realize the kind of price that was paid by the Sahaba by the prophets own families. sallallahu alayhi wasallam, what are the Allahu taala on which meant we didn't know the price they had to pay for these IR to come down? We didn't realize its value. Whose fault is that? Who's to be held responsible for that? though, we get we get to say well, we didn't know any better, it's okay. But at least we realize while we're still alive if you if you realize about yourself, and by the way, it's so easy when I give these kinds of buzz for your mind to go to man, I know someone
who really needs to listen to this.
We never think of ourselves. We think, man, I wanna I hope this is on YouTube. I can send them a link because they really need it because we don't need it. You see, our mind is programmed to assume the worst about others.
Think about others who need advice. And always, almost always consider ourselves immune from advice. Like we don't need it, I have to identify this in myself, you have to identify this in yourself. Because being careless is all too easy. If this is something that happened in all of Medina, under the training of the Prophet sallallahu, Alayhi, wasallam. before the coming of these ions, I show his own words, or the Aloha that the city is talking about, everybody's talking about it. And now so you feel Do you call these heavy lifters in Bukhari.
So when the if that's the case, then you and I are not immune from becoming careless. And we have to take a step back and really ask a lot as that we have to forgive our carelessness. When it comes to talking about other people. It's so easy to do that now, you can just make a couple of comments on social media, you can just send a message. And you know, it's it's so scary to me that, you know, back then people used to say something, maybe one person heard it, they forgot. But now you post something. And people come back and read it, and the angel writes a sin against you again, and then somebody else comes in, reads it, and they write us in against you again. And then people screenshot
it and send it to others. And the angel writes that against you, again, these little taps of these fingers, they can become very pricey, it's very easy to move your finger on the screen, and just write something. But the more people are creating evil assumptions about others, the more you're spreading indignation towards someone else, the more is being written against you over and over and over and over again, you know, the idea of sadaqa jariya, a deed that compounds it gets better and better and better, share something good. So your rewards increase. But when you share something bad when you say something evil about someone that you didn't have to say, you didn't have to insult
anyone, because if you didn't insult them, nothing would have been taken from you. No risk of yours would have been taken away. No, your life didn't get any better by insulting somebody, by accusing somebody, by humiliating somebody by suggesting something evil about somebody, nothing in your life improved, except angels are now documenting every time somebody reads those filthy comments. Every time as this has just become common practice. This is just it's like nothing. And so Allah azzawajal reminds us in these ayat, first of all, to control our thoughts, to give benefit of the doubt to a fellow believer. You know, in that famous Hadith when the prophet SAW Selim was going around the
Kaaba describing how much he loves the Kaaba, you know, and he says that the dignity of a believer is dear to a lot. And you mentioned this to you before the last part of that that Hadith Is that what you know, what is more, what is your to Allah, and you love Nabila halen, that unbeliever, nothing but good should be thought about him. You should think nothing but good. If I believe you know, terrible things about somebody else. It's better for you to not think about them than think bad things, I think are the one good thing or something and leave the rest alone, just leave it alone. Leave people leave. But protect your thoughts and your tongues and your hands nowadays, from
committing the kinds of sins that you and I cannot afford to pay on Judgement Day. We cannot afford to pay those sins on Judgement Day. You know, this is not a small thing. And these aren't even done this is going to be a continuous thing discussing these if I bunch these three together because they're one conversation, but a lie is not done. Telling the careless people what they need to be thinking about. If this was just one time subject, or one one idea was enough to just guide you know us and we get it, you know, point gotten across, you know, let's move on from this to learn about something else a lot would have done that, but a lot. So john hammered this over and over and over
again. 10 out came down. One about evil people, nine of them about careless people. nine of them are by careless people. Which tells you where the real problem is. It's with us when we become careless. So that inshallah Allah and in the next coming combos when I'm here, we're also going to discuss the coming that complete the subject matter and how important it is for us to appreciate the value of each other's dignity. May Allah will make us a source of peace and safety for others may allies which will make us of those who fulfill the words of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, a Muslim woman, Solomon nazmul, Hassan II, that the Muslim is someone other people are safe from their
hands, and other people are safe from their tongue. And I would add in light of these ions that people are safe from their thoughts also allows children because people have benefit of the doubt of giving dignity to others in our thoughts, in our words in our actions. We realize that we will protect us from becoming careless and realize which will make us of those who can rectify their mistakes if they made them in the past and accept those as a Toba towards, you know, towards him and a reconciliation between broken hearts barakallahu li walakum Hakeem when a funny way er can be it was the game