10 Signs Your Marriage Is In Trouble – EP09

Musleh Khan

Channel: Musleh Khan

Series:

Topics: Marriage

Episode Notes

share this pageShare Page

10 Signs Your Marriage Is In Trouble – #9 In Denial Of Help

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:10--> 00:00:53

Salam, alaikum, warahmatullahi wabarakatuh brothers and sisters, your marriage is in trouble when and here's part number nine, you're in denial, you need help. There's problems, there's issues, rights aren't being fulfilled, or rights are being taken away from one another. And you're trying to work this out, work this out with your spouse, you're not getting through, no one is listening. No one is taking the advice. You need help, whether it's professionally or islamically, you need a third party to be involved. So what do you do? How do you solve this problem? First and foremost, brothers and sisters is the realization that help is needed. All too often, what happens is that

00:00:53--> 00:01:34

when marriages need help, it's always one side that does all the work. So a lot of the times, it's usually the sisters or the wives that go out seeking the help. I can't tell you how many times somebody would walk into my office for some sort of marriage counsel, and it's just one side, it's just either the wife, or it's just the husband. And when I asked them, Well, where's your spouse, they'll say he doesn't want to come, he feels shy, or he's embarrassed, or she doesn't want to come, she doesn't feel like we need help. So it's always one side doing all of the work you can survive. Allah subhanho wa Taala gave you both love and mercy in your hearts. And he brought both of you

00:01:34--> 00:02:18

together at the same time. Now when both of you are having problems, one person can't solve it, you need to be together during those problems as well, the same way you were together when you brought love and mercy into that marriage. So the first thing is to realize that there is a problem, and you do need counsel you do you do need professional help. And secondly is to actually go out and get that help. Now I have a couple pieces of advice of who you should get help from number one, try to keep your problems within the family nucleus. So if it's husband and wife with the problems, then go to like a sibling or in law or the mother or father especially and get them involved. Don't go to

00:02:18--> 00:03:01

strangers leave that for later, try to solve this problem within the family itself. So that way, it becomes easier. And the families already know these two individuals and they know what their backgrounds are. So they can they can address these problems carefully. And more precisely, if that doesn't work, then your second option is to go to people that you trust. So again, put aside that professional help for a moment, go to people that you trust. So it could be like an uncle, an aunt or a best friend, somebody you know, who will give good advice and they're responsible. So the key here, if you see where I'm taking you is you have to try to solve this problem yourself first,

00:03:01--> 00:03:41

before going to somebody else and saying to them, here's our problem. Tell us what to do. You have to try to work this out on your own. Because it's inevitable that every single marriage is going to have problems. This is the fifth Torah or the son of Allah subhanho wa Taala that we're going to deal with this. And you see in the Sunnah of our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So many couples came up to him, and they unloaded their problems. Now it was different because whether you had a question or you had one single problem, the fact that you have the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam accessible to you. It was easy to just go up to him and say yellow soda law my husband

00:03:41--> 00:04:22

doesn't like me. Yarra soda law, my wife says she hates me, yada. So law, this right has been taken away from me, what should I do, and the process is simple. Just give one sentence and the problem is resolved. Today, we don't have him anymore. And so we have to try to work this stuff out ourselves. So you try to work it within the couple that doesn't work, you go to families and friends, that doesn't work. So your last and final option is depending on how severe the problem is, you either get professional help, which means you'll have to invest time and you might have to invest some money, get professional help. It's worth it. It's your marriage. It's half of your deen. So it's

00:04:22--> 00:04:59

worth the time, the money and the effort to go out and do that. But my best advice to all of you is go to the Islamic counseling first. Nothing will counsel your marriage better than your religion. Nothing will counsel the marriage better than the poor end and the practice of our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam go to an Imam who has the knowledge and has the experience who studied marriage from books. He himself or her. She herself is married. They understand the problems in marriage. They understand the culture and the society taking all of these things into

00:05:00--> 00:05:40

effect. And these are the people you should talk to, don't go to somebody who doesn't know the culture very well or doesn't have knowledge about marriage. And you go to them and you say, Shay, I have this problem, that problem and he says to you, this is from shaitan, don't listen, to go back home, you're fine. Go to somebody who is genuinely there to listen to understand you and can actually give you practical advice, and steps on how to solve these problems. Be if nilay to Allah with Allah subhanho wa Taala is help your problems will be solved. So brothers and sisters, if you need help in your marriage, and you can solve it alone, go and seek that help. It's worth every

00:05:40--> 00:06:08

moment, think about when you wanted to get married to one another, how much help you looked for and you sought so that the marriage could happen, that the relationship could be stable and it could be strong. Now the relationship is at risk. You should have the same desire and the same effort to keep that marriage together and to fix these problems. Just like how you started the relationship in the first place. May Allah subhanho wa Taala give us strength was salam wa alikum warahmatu Allahi wa barakato

00:06:30--> 00:06:37

salam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh brothers and sisters your marriage is in trouble when and here's part number nine

00:06:42--> 00:06:44

help is needed. Okay in detail.