Ramadan 2019 – Episode 04

Hello, James filler manorhamilton loadable Amina salatu salam ala COVID mursaleen Sina, Mohammed Ali, he was a big mine, my beloved brothers and sisters in Islam Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

How y'all doing?

We begin by saying, Hi to coordinate him as he walks out, he's joined us for this past four nights, and he'll be touring around, and we wish you all the best in his travels. And perhaps he'll pop in again once or twice before the end of the month, maybe more insha Allah. So inshallah we'll do without him inshallah for the next couple of days. I mean, we continue with our Tafseer of surah Yusuf. And we said that yesterday it began the story began was never useful for young boy, and he's about seven years old, telling his dad at a very strange dream. And then his father says to him, oh, my dear son, don't tell this dream to your brothers, because they will plot against you. The use of

can understand why why am I big brothers, my Buddha's gonna plot against me, he can't understand this, this thing. And then he says, His dad says to him, that shavon is an open enemy. Shaytan is an open enemy. And we learned so much from this dialogue, in terms of respecting the way we talk to our kids, and they will learn from us our manners, when we treat them with respect, and we demand respect from them, they will grow up to be respectful people, and also we learn from this. And there's a very important point here for us as parents, we may trust our kids nebbia who loves his kids, and Allah will mentioned that the US about that they are good people, they are good people,

but even the base of people can be corrupted by shaitan. So when they say, Don't you trust me? I'm going to go out till 12 one o'clock in the morning, do you trust me? Are you do you think I'm going to do something wrong? We trust you. We don't trust shavon shavon is always an open enemy. So this is the excuse we use when nebby use even a BIA who continues to Allah says he continues after that after an abuse of a seen this dream. What can I lick HDB corrupt buka Well, you will come into that we will Hadith where you timoni matter who la colada earlier hooba Kamata Maha awaken Min kaaboo Ibrahima will is hoc interrupt Baca alumina Hakeem allowances and thus and as because of this, your

load has chosen you use which DBQ is selected you and He will teach you the interpretation of dreams so never use his medical and the MBR each one are given a special gift now be easily Salaam could heal the sick and resurrect the dead Bismillah with the permission of Allah, I mean Musa stick but believe me luck will turn into a snake never use ability Bismillah with the power of Allah he was he could understand the interpretation of dreams he could understand the meaning of dreams. And then Allah says And Allah wishes to complete and perfect his favor upon you Yusuf and upon the family of Yaqoob and oppose his use of love the family of Yahoo. Yes, so Allah is saying, this is a blessing

to you use. And when Allah blesses the child, Allah say indirectly He blesses the pain and he's an amazing and if Allah gives the child success, if Allah makes the child happy, though Quran, then automatically it's an honor to the parents, it's an honor to the parents is a beautiful thing. So in our children, Allah blesses with good children, indirectly. If you are blessed with a good child, a child that doesn't, you know, commit major sins, a child that is on the straight path to perform this honor. They go to school, they are decent children and especially in the society we live in. Allah has blessed you with a lot. Allah has favored you, maybe even more you more than a child. So

Allah says he will favor Yousuf and the family of the group as he completed his favor upon the old fathers before you, your father's before you Yousuf Who are those fathers? Ibrahim is how can we say Ibrahim was an AVI he uses his great grandfather and his heart his abusive grandfather. Indeed you know what is knowing and wise. Another beautiful point here, Allah is showing that Allah gave Ibrahim pious sons is mightier than his Huck because he was pious, and Allah gave his Huck a pious Sania hoob, because he was pious. And so because they are who is pious he gives him a pious son. another indication that if you want your children to be successful in the dunya, you want piety in

them, then it needs to start with you. It needs to start with you not always the case, sometimes even from the best house, you can get children are not that good. And even from the worst house you get the best of children that we know, for example, as an example, but we know the story of surah calf, how the orphans the women have been loose and hidden. They get to this town, and the people didn't want to give them food, and they Nabhi

Lisa builds this wall up and he tells them to use Mussa later on that underneath this wall is a treasure that they are orphans inside the city. When they grow up, they will take this treasure Why? Because they father was a pious man. So point here being Allah can bless your children because of you and you can have blessings. Maybe you have a PhD today. Maybe you living in comfort, because of a grandmother that may dwarf who you know, granny didn't achieve much in terms of the dunya but because she was a pious woman, Allah blessed her offspring to be pious.

To be pious behind the law, so the link between parents and children and how Allah blesses through the one Allah can bless the other one, Allah blessed us with pious children, and Allah bless and have mercy on our parents and those who have passed away. Allah granted my highest highest place in general. I mean, and then Allah says, In surah baqarah alleman Hakeem, Allah says, I know and I am all knowing and all wise, I looked at the 12 sons, and I chose this one to attain this favor. And all of this, remember, as we said, this is going to breed jealousy. There are many people in life that you're going to see Excel above you above me in certain things, you will be good in one thing,

maybe if you're lucky, one thing and you will be Have you fall short in many, many things. Why do I give this blessing to that one hour says, I am an alum, and Hakeem, I know who I give my blessings to, maybe that blessing I gave you would be a curse upon you. So Allah knows who he chooses, and who he blesses. So we don't know continuous la katakana for usofa, what is what he actually said in that certainly in YouTube, and his brother's use of and his brothers is an IRA is our lessons are Signs for those who ask now, if you've read the Quran a few times, you know, usually Allah says, I live in a blue moon, usually Allah says those who think deeply into the Quran, they will find the it's an

ayah, letting the archelon those who think deeply, very few times in fact, this is the only place where Allah says, For the one who asks, you'll find lessons in it. Why? Because asking is easier than thinking into double meaning there are so many lessons, you just have to ask. And, you know, you basically have to look at it, and you will find lessons extracted in the story. As I said, you must take down these notes, how many lessons you and I can apply in our life, because we have brothers, we have sisters, we have parents who have children, all of this is relevant and impactful in our life. And Allah says, Lisa, you mean that our religion encourages questioning, not

questioning for no reason. But it's a religion that encourages you to question if there's something that you don't understand? Well, you don't agree with the shape of the molana. With respect, ask I don't agree with it. I don't agree. In fact, this is the mistake of the brothers use of is the one that asked his dad and his brothers don't ask and they come to their own conclusions. And therefore that resourcefulness is the cure for ignorance is a question. If you want to be healed of ignorance, ask the question. So now Allah says in the brothers, you would find a lesson. Let's talk a little bit of sibling rivalry. Are there any only children? Yeah. Is anyone here? That's an only child at

home that I know. And yeah, I think I've said it must be if you're an only child and I, if you have a sibling, you will not realize how much you've been impacted by your brothers and your sisters. The psychologists say think about the CRC, that your brother or your system is the longest relationship in your life. Think about it, your brothers may be two years older than you two years younger than you and you and they will continue with you all the way until you die. Your parents as much as our parents, much as we love them, they will die before us maybe even 2030 years before us the only way for about 40 years ago, if we are lucky. And our spouses only come in much later in our 20s you

know, at least we you know sometimes later sometimes earlier, and our kids even later than that, whereas our brothers and sisters are with us on their journey from the beginning until the end. Yet they are never the center figure in our life. They are always parents were more important than is a wife or husband that's more important than they are kids that more important always in the background. So siblings are always the as they say, your siblings are your first accomplice in crime, your great rival, your great partner, your biggest enemy. This is your your brother, your sister, you grow up and your personality is shaped by them. If you are the eldest, then you had

younger ones automatically. You seem to have leadership. And in fact, they did a study and they said that the majority of the presidents of America, most of them were firstborns. So the firstborns have this leadership, because parents put a lot of expectation on them, you the Buddha knew the Titi unit to look after the younger ones, whereas the baby seems to get away with everything. Right, no matter how old they are, even in the 40s 50s, they still the baby, the baby leaves, and the parents. And I can I can see this for myself, I only have 30 SubhanAllah. But by the time you get to the last one, you've given up trying to fight so you just let things go. You know, it's like, everything goes the

first one you very strict on what they eat and when they must leave. And as they get the younger one and hamdulillah everything goes no problem, no problem. And the middle one is in the middle is always the odd one out because they don't seem to fit in they never the limelight, you know, and so they must find other ways. So your personality is shaped so much by your siblings. And before it can either make you or break you. And we have two great examples two opposites in the Quran. On the one extreme, we have the first murder in humanity was one brother killing another brother. sibling rivalry can get to such a level that because we always comparing ourselves to the brother or the

sister, they successful, they have the love of the parents. They are beautiful, more beautiful than me. They get better grades than me. This breeds resentment to the point where Cain killed Abel. That's why

The first murder is one brother killing another. Then you have the other extreme Suhana lone male kids be like this moose and Harun. When a bee Moosa is told you're going up against your own, you can ask for anything, Alexis. And he says, Yeah, Allah, just give me one Give me my big brother, I don't ask for an army, I don't ask for anything. If I have my brother by my side, I don't, then I have everything I need is enough for me. So behind Allah, male kids, we have that relationship where we have that relationship with our brothers and our sisters. So sibling rivalry is real. And now the children of nebia who have been infected with this, they have seen the love that He has for the

abusive, and it's really breeding resentment. Now Allah shifts to them, Allah shifts to the brothers. And we are certainly talking the 10 older brothers. If Allah when they said, la Yusuf surely use of that lamb is was like emphasis eventually use of what a who and his younger brother Binyamin boo abena, they are more beloved than to the to our father than us. Our Father loves them more than us. I mean, no one knows. But yet we are a bigger group, and we are a stronger group. That also means like a gang, a clan, what are they trying to say? We are the ones doing all the work. Now look, we live in a rural society, we are fetching the wood, our dad is old, we're doing everything.

Yet he gives the two of them all his his love. He loves them more than us. in Urbana, our Father, the phaedo, Daddy movie, Daddy is lost, Daddy is not thinking straight. That is misguided. How many of us as kids, we feel that way our parents don't know, our parents are wrong. And if only we asked them to handle one thing, if only they came to the dead, and they said they could have avoided so much problems, but they had this inside of them. And they never approached Yaqoob. Also, very importantly, they couldn't point out a single thing he did to favorite use of all they could say is he loves him more than us. Now in Islam. If you have multiple children, or even multiple spouses,

you're not allowed to favor one over the other in terms of your time. And in terms of your spending. If you give the one

a call, then eventually you have to give the other one a call as well. If you paid for the one studies, then you need to do the same. So one father came to me and said, I've given this gift to my son. And so the profitsystem said to him, Do you have other sons? So the man said, Yes. So he said, then give them equally we'll take this back, because this is going to breed these increments. So as parents, sometimes we are guilty of that, that we give and we praise one over the other. So therefore, maybe Yaqoob didn't do this. But internally, we can't control who we love today. And Ahmed does very well in school, and you know, our heart is happy. And when I share I was now in a

bad mood and we're not so happy with and then the tables turn. Now Yusuf Subhana Allah, Allah has chosen him and made him and Abby, and never used to be a coupon helped himself to be so in love with this little boy that Allah has chosen to be nav, how would you feel, you know, you have 12 sons, one becomes half eaten Quran, you can't help but feel a special kind of happiness on the inside. So Yahoo couldn't keep this in. And he tried to be free and he was fee. But this is what the brothers couldn't stand that our father is

favoring use of over us.

So as parents, and perhaps I will conclude with this, very, very important to avoid creating sibling rivalry could be the cause that sours the relationship between siblings for the rest of their lives for the rest of their lives, they might have an issue not talking to another. And that's because mommy and daddy did something wrong. Never ever, as we said, Do not give one more than the other and I think about this, you might have a child that looks off to you very nicely a daughter, she's with you and in your old age. But when you when the day comes my log on to a good date you pass away, Allah is going to divide your wealth equally to the stepdaughter that washed you and looked off you

will get the same inheritance like the doctor that didn't speak to you for years. You can't decide whether it's going unless given them equally. Why? Because this is how Allah has decreed things when you praise praise both equally. Remember not every child is going to be given the same one child will excel in sports one child will excel academically one child will not be will struggle and maybe that's the case you know Allah has given that child then they will go through life struggling and that latest remember Allah tea some blessings and artists others with hardship. Do not make them compete with one another do not make them compete one and succeed over the other one don't make the

other one feel inferior. Give them equal opportunities and except that they are different and encourage them to be different. So Masha Allah This one is going to be a doctor Alhamdulillah You're lucky Mashallah that one is going to be happy to put on Mashallah, this one is still finding themselves even at the age of 1400 11, right Alhamdulillah make dua for the make dua for them. That's how Allah has done and you keep that special bond. And and Allah mentioned a good a good advice. have special time with each one. Maybe sometimes they

Do you need to take one son out and they should have the special time and this one The special thing so that each one feels that they have a special bond? And this was the the gift of Navy SEAL sanlam if you look at his Sahaba everyone felt like they were the Favorites even felt I must be the favorite. other way around. If you ask every sibling says I'm not the favorite. You're the favorite and it's a no no, you're the favorite. No one feels like the favorite. Whereas an abyssal salams leadership style. He made everyone feel like the favorite Namibia. koovs kids are infected with this hazard. This envy and sibling rivalry to the point where they are ready to kill the brother. We

continue tomorrow in sha Allah, Allah hi Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh