Parenting #04 – Early Childhood Development

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Muhammad West

Channel: Muhammad West

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We live in Michigan or James Miller Amanda Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala shiraki more serene. So in the Mohammed Ali he also he married my beloved brothers and sisters of Saira Malik Mohammed Omar when it comes to having the lower blood amin always and forever will be in the praise of Allah and I should alert you know, Allah will be a witness that man has the right of worship besides Allah subhanaw taala and we send our love and greetings salutations so beloved Nabi Muhammad Sallallahu sallam, this pious and pure family to his companions and all those who follow his soon until the end of time, Allah blesses to be amongst them. I mean, what from the river

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hamdulillah we continue our series on parenting. Last week we spoke about the pregnancy and at birth and the name giving and all the rules attached to naming a child. And then a hamdulillah mela bless us and bless us in our offspring mothers panatela protect our children, my children and your children. Moloch allowed him to be born and raised and live and die on demand and taqwa and may we die as a man and taqwa as well. I mean, and from the law once a child comes into this world, and even before that, the struggles and the stress of parenthood begins, and really is only through being a parent, there's one appreciate one's own parents that's panela. So much effort and so much

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work and concern goes into raising a child and and I guess as a parent, you're never in, you never stop whining, even, you know, you're worried about them before they're born. While they are, they are being carried as children, you're worried about dementia panela, I'm sure that even when they grow up, and in the old age, if you're still alive, you'll still worry about your work the well being of your children, and you'll perhaps only only stop when they join us. We join our parents and children during one another in general for those I mean, that is the only time the worries of appearance will really end. And so inshallah talking about the different stages in a child's

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development, different bodies and different ways of raising a child, it's panela, both the psychologists of today, they have split the different stages of development of a child. And we find this even indeed, even within our our Sharia, even within Islam, that different levels of a child's development has different rules attached to it. And there are different ways in which we interact with the child. And so today inshallah we'll talk about the early childhood development, basically, from birth until about seven years old from birth, until they are ready to go to school, this early stage in a child's development is perhaps the most important part of, of a child's young life. And

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so much of the body is developing so much of the brain and the the functions are developing in these years. And finally, it is a tsunami of a law that every single child is born with zero every child is born with a, you know, a completely blank slate, an empty canvas, and it is for us as parents to nurture that child to develop to their full potential and release panela if you are listening to this lecture, you're healthy, you're able to walk and talk, you're able to have a job, then it is so much of a blessing that we and the things that we need to give to Allah and our parents. That process here that you know, if they neglected us for one day, or even a part of a day, you know, in

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this early stage, if we will lift not to not to eat will lift in the cold or in the heat or whatever, just for a few hours, it could have completely ruined our development. And so if anyone has developed your maturity, then it means that we had parents that watched over us every single day and never left us to harmonium, Allah bless our parents. And if they passed away my look around him, I place in Jannah. And so in these stages of developments, you find the psychologist they mentioned that from birth until about two years, that's a special stage when the child has an infant or a toddler. And then from two to about seven, the child is a preschooler and the special things that

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needs to happen and milestones that need to happen during that age. And then from when the child goes to school. So from primary school, up until they reach adolescence, the primary school years and even Islam at the age of seven is a specific age and a child is said to be mommies, meaning they're not yet McAuliffe, but they're the age of discernment. They know what is right from wrong, they are aware of certain things they are intellectually mature enough to choose make choices. And then of course, once they reach the age of adolescence, they each puberty they mature to that level where they're actually accountable. And we know the very important thing that when someone becomes

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mukalla now they are accountable with Allah to the deeds they actually get a reward or punishment for the the mistakes. And of course everyone before the age of being Caliph, every child that is polemical, if they are on the fifth drop it no matter what they do, or las panatela does not hold them accountable for the reasons and we know from Islam, that if a child even though he never worship Allah, he was you know, whatever religion you practice if he died before he was buckled up when he's a Muslim, and he enters Jenna, what from Lila and so it is only at the age of becoming Caliph does the pin start to start to write, and these are narration and a lot of this is attributed

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to the set to be attributed to scenario the Alon, although I have not found a inauthentic innovation for this, but the meaning is correct. If you said that on the side of play with your children for the first seven years, so up until the age of seven, spend your time with him in play. And then once the after the age of seven, then focus on teaching them teach them teach them manners and teach them spend a lot of time in teaching them skills and and the education and then the next seven years now by

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Sep from 14 during the teenage years, advise them you constantly control them so much all you can do is to give them counsel advice, but they will make their own decisions and SubhanAllah. From an Islamic perspective, there is truth to this. And of course of psychologically we know that these different stages As parents, we can only impact and influence our children in in different ways. And so in the early for the first seven years, what we find from the Hadith all the ways in Ibiza Salaam interacted with children, what Allah describes the few is about children at this age in the Quran, we know that the priority for us as parents, is to give our kids the best possible environment to

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flourish. And we do so by giving an environment that is safe and loving, and we are affectionate and we spend a lot of time playing with him, enjoying them. And if we were to teach them we teach him through examples, you know, so as between zero and seven you can put them really in a class and you you have to you they learn through play, and they learn through seeing us and seeing what the parents do. So you can't give them advice on sada how to Posada, these are the pillars of Salah they never gonna learn like that. Instead, or most children some children learn differently. But for most children, they will learn by seeing mommy and daddy making Sala and then they will start playing and

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then eventually they will start mimicking and interacting and it will become a habit of for a while. And so Subhanallah Our job was if you have children between the age Your job is to really to shower them with love and affection and make them happy and comfortable and then teach them through play and through your good example we see this from an obese also nominees a number of Heidi's that we take from the Navajo salom unnecessarily olana unece interestingly, very abusively, this is coming from Anissa with us and as we said he was six years old when he made the Nabi so solemn and this was then a visa Salaam asst we could say was Squier, you would go and he would bring things and fix

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things and you'll be sent home with give him little errands, the boy You know, he was just there to help them be so solemn. And so from a young he knew that I'd be so sad I'm only as a child, because the porcelain passed away when he was 16. And so unless really has a child's perspective of the nervous system, and he says anuses that I never saw anyone who was more kind of affectionate towards children then the Prophet sallallahu Sallam and in Ennis continues. Then abyssal Salaam, son then we had a son Ibrahim, who is Lawson was being cared for by a witness. Another lady was breastfeeding Ibrahim, and she lived for outside of Medina. And so the navitas alum would make an extra effort in

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his busy schedule to visit this Ibrahim every single day. And when he saw him in the NSA saying that I've used a lump sort of couldn't resist picking up this young boy this was two years old when he passed away and kissing him and hugging him and he would come back and he really and so as the saying was gonna be so solemn love to shower children with love and and affection, Osama or the Alon Osama also have as we know, he is the son of his age, the adopted son of Mr. Lim sort of sounds like a grandson. And so Osama says that you know, we were I was a young boy. And I remember when the navy seal and put me on on his lap on one leg and he put her son You know, Hassan and Hussein Hassan on

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the other lap. So yes, these two little boys, maybe they are four, five years old, the two of them and he says we're both on the Nationals lap and he hugs the two of us now this was hugging these two boys and he says let me make the dog he says Oh Allah please be merciful on the two of them as I am merciful on them meaning Allah loves them like I like I love them. And then another Heidi's who know of a man he sees an abuse also in the merchants resources in the masjid. And he's got his grandchildren will see Miss Hassan and Hussein with him. And that avviso salaam you know this in public, he can't resist but to hug and kisses me son was really you know, he couldn't control

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himself basically around his grandchildren, and you teach them and this man, you know, looked at the abuser. And he said, You know, I have 10 children and Never in my life have I kissed any of them. I've never kissed him like you know, like you're kissing them. And there'll be the Salaam looks at this man and he says whomever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully in other hardyston abuses. What can I do about someone who has never mind is that if you are looking at me as if there is something strange that you don't kiss your children, rather, it is strange, that I kiss my children are all the strange that you have never kissed your own children. There's something

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wrong in you. And so again, I be so solemn, very affectionate, very open in his in his affection. And it's not just, you know, hugging and kissing and playing with it with these children. But then every so Salaam would talk to not just his own children, but the Sahaba and the young children of the community. You would give them special time you will take them on the rides on his camel, he when he would see them he would have conversations with him on the level. One of the beautiful examples was this Sahabi young young girl named pilot before she became the mother of Khalid she was a young girl, she was all the Sahaba who were born as a senior. The side note, we know that a group

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of the Muslims when the persecution in Makkah was too much. they immigrated to Abyssinia to Ethiopia. And so she was born in Ethiopia. She was born like a refugee. And she grew up the first few years of her life in Ethiopia, and she learned the language of the abyssinians

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Arabic. And so when she comes to Medina, she's learning Arabic And it's sort of a new experience for her. And she was wearing a V, bright colored, yellow kind of clothes, which was not the style of Medina. So she was wearing ncop and kind of outfit, and then a recent Caesar and he goes to her and he says Center, a center center is a word in the Ethiopian language to me, it's pretty so he's saying to her, she's a young girl for five years old. And she remembers, she says, there's gonna be who came to me and said how pretty this dress is, but he uses not Arabic, he uses the Ethiopian language. And then you know, she starts to interact with an abyssal Salaam and her father like

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pulsar went live in a B, don't you know, don't disturb him. He's, you know, he's busy, you will see time. And then I've used this lever don't pull away like this. And then I basically made it to our we have a long life. And this goes panel activities of the last Sahaba was 100 years old that she passed away. point isn't it so solemn, took the special note and spoke to the the kids on on the on the level. Another example, we just spoke about unece. Now, as we say, he knew the novices or non-winning from six to 16. So he was always a young boy around and abuse of Salaam. Now unece had a younger brother, you know, he had an a younger brother, who they used to call a boomers, right? So

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that's all these names, but they used to call him I think his name was nice, but they used to call him a boomer era nickname. So he's younger than and so maybe he's about four or five years old. And this boy here, the pit Sparrow, a new leaf, alright, so he had a spit Sparrow, a sparrow in Arabic is a new place. So he had this little spider, which used to play with you to bring around. And so then all of a sudden, the sparrow died, the pit died. And this little boy was really, really sad. And so then abyssal Salem saw this boy that he said, and he goes to him, and he says, Yeah, about a mile away, this is Oh my god, what happened to know what happened to your Sparrow, like the same

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thing, we just fell, though. And he's like, you know, consoling this little boy, because his birth had died, and so span a lot meaning that a visa Salaam took notice of the pics of the little children in his in his communities, panela and you will make it a special time to give them his his attention. Of course, it's not only about showering our kids, our young children with love, and you know, allowing them to get away with everything. And we have to obviously discipline them and teach them and Allah Subhana Allah mentions this in the Quran in Surah Surah Lu is all about our and you know, ethics between gender and those kinds of things, and hijab. And so Allah says, already from a

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young age, Allah says, Oh, you will believe, let your servants those who work in your house. And those of you who are still under age and the children that are still young, when they ask for your permission, let them knock on the door, or let them ask for permission before they come into your private rooms, especially at three times before fudger. And when you take off your clothes in the afternoon, meaning in any community that lives in a very hot climate, they tend to sleep in the afternoon. So they will play Lula or siesta they go to sleep when it's very hot. And so you take your clothes off to go sleep. And so the Allah saying that before budget when you're not dressed

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appropriately, because you in your bedroom, or in the afternoon when you're sleeping, or off the shy, then they should take permission. Because these are three times of privacy for you. It's also really, it's instructing us that even though there are children, and they might not be aware of what is our not our what we should begin to teach them the manners and we should teach them about what is appropriate and inappropriate contact and even on their own body. So much can be said about this. If So Allah is already instructing us to make children aware of these things, and to teach them good habits at a young at a young age. And then of course, on them also says, The Teacher children to

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make Salah from the age of seven. So from the age of seven, we should be actively encouraging our children to make solar and teaching them to make solar. And then he says that give them a light spanking, if by the age of 10, they're not making solar. And we'll talk more about this insha Allah in the next section, and they should be sleeping in separate beds, meaning boys and girls should not be sleeping together at that kind of age. And they should be the segregation or learning from that from that age. So we thought we should teach our children these kind of etiquettes. And of course, the best way in which to teach at this young age is through is through play and through imitation,

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they will learn from the example of the parents 10 times better than learning by you telling them to do something children that he if you tell him to do something that I'm going to do it, but they will imitate those behind Allah, when we look at our children at that age really is reflection of us as parents, and so we find them to be so solemn. He would make an effort that when he performed certain virtuous deeds, his grandchildren were with him. And so we find Obama or mama will easily granddaughter going to be so sad. Um, sometimes we only think the only grandchildren he had was husband at the same. That'd be so mad at multiple grandchildren. One of his granddaughters was Mama,

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and she was the daughter of Xena. And so there's a hadith where the Prophet Salam is carrying his granddaughter, you know, like on his shoulders, her legs are sort of, you know, around the shoulders, and he's carrying her to the masjid and he gets to the masjid and he's gonna leave the Salah, and he's still keeping her and he makes her with her

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You know, in his arms, and when he goes down into suit, he puts it down on the ground. And then when he gets up, he picks it up again and he keeps away why he's leaving with the last panel. I don't think any mom today would possibly leave the Salah, and he still keeps his child who his grandchildren in his arms. Gemma would allow him to do that. But upon a lot the enemy's son did this. And he brought us I mean, and that's a lot can be said as well he brought it to the masjid as a child. We also know the very famous Hadith which then abyssal Salaam was leading the Salah, and he you know he was very long interviewed so long that one of the youngest Sahaba lifted up his head

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from sudo to see what's going on. Why does an abuser Salam take so long Institute and he found that Hassan or the alarm was a young boy was on the webisodes back playing husi oc on his grandfather, and so then abyssal Salaam, when he finished Sala, he explained to the Sahaba I did not prolong the sujood except that my grandson and he will always say my son didn't say my grandson, my boy was on my back playing and I didn't want to disturb him. I was gonna leave him to play until he was finished played. And then I then when he was unclean, we'll see we'll see. Then I got a phone shoot. We also know that analog times and maybe some would give up and he's on the pulpit and he would see

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his grandsons in the masjid and he would basically fetch them and he would put them Hassan and Hussein was him on the member while you while he would give while he would give a hoot back and so then every so solemn would teach them by just being in his company when he was doing something good. And you know, you'll find some you were bidding to bring the kids to the masjid. You want to recite Quran with him said they even if they're playing, just the fact that they see you reciting Quran in itself is a learning, for example, you find in the masjid very beautifully. When a father wants to maybe put some money in the towel, you would give it to the boy and so you put it in the towel. And

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so he's teaching the children that you know, we give charity we give to the masjid regularly and beautiful ways when we see them making mistakes. Of course we need to reprimand in a very nice way and look at another Hadith Omar even Abu Salah. So the prophets of Allah married him Salama, one of the wives of an abyssal Salaam, her name was on Salah. She was previously married and she had other children. So these children are the stepchildren step sons and daughters of the processes alum and he raised him as well. So he raised these children of his other wives. And so Omar, who is a step son to the Nabi sallam, he basically says a hadith which he tells you as a young boy, he remembers,

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then I be so sad. I'm teaching him. He says I was a young boy, under the key of the messenger, it's also in them so there'll be so much my stepdad. And he looked after me when I was from as a young boy. And when we used to eat, my hands used to go everywhere, you know, like a small child, he grabs with both hands, everything in every way and he eats like that. You know how children eat other than obeso salaam says to him, yo, hula, my boy, you know, my dear boy, before you eat, mentioned Allah's Name, say Bismillah and eat with your right hand and eat that which is only close to you don't reach over the plate, eat with the close to you. And so, and then he says, since then, I've always been

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eating this way. So that little advice he saved in such a nice way. And he, you made me feel so good that I always offer that I didn't need another listens panel off of the reasons teaching was amazing. And we also look at this one customer saying that the alarm they were passing by the zakka, you know, goods, and there was dates in the carpet. And so they took the two of them took some data out of the bottom, they put it in the mouth, and then resold and pulled it out of the mouth and said, this is not we are not allowed to have charity, meaning you know, the family are going to be solid, we're not allowed to take any charity. And so he said this is haram for us. And he told them

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that you are underweight, you should not you're not allowed to take anything of charity and obviously by extension does not belong to you. And maybe we can think of our times the kids go to the shop and they maybe take something off the shelf and they open a pack of new easy to teach them that this you haven't paid for it doesn't belong to you. And so they understand right from wrong without punishing them because of course it's not meant in a in a in a in a bad way. But to teach them of course right from wrong is very important at this age because they can really understand right from wrong. People ask you know, especially those who have the first child and Masha Allah

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when our first child comes we automatically you know bold this picture that by the age of five, six there will be hospital for an amine, and there'll be school you know in the when they 15 and they'll get the first degrees before they're 20 and inshallah write books and they're going to be win Nobel prizes that handler and by the time you know the last one comes Alhamdulillah whatever happens we happy no problem. You know if so long as they are passing, when they get a BOC, it's fine. We almost lower another lower expectations, but we become more realistic. So maybe that's the correct word. And so people ask what are the important things that we need to teach children, primary children and

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what are the lessons we need to teach? islamically? What should we teach them because there's a lot of material out there, what to teach those kids academically, but or secular who would also say, what about islamically the perhaps the most important thing to teach children is that Allah loves them and to teach them

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concept of Allah's mercy and kindness. Panama it is a horrible it is, you know totally haram almost for you to only expose your children to if you don't do this, Allah is going to punish you. And if you do, if you don't use Panama Allah is always the nasty one, that if you if you don't go to bed, they're always going to burn you're always going to put in January, this should not even you know cross your mind. In fact, Allah subhanaw taala will only hold them accountable many, many years later when they are more or less, what you're saying even is, is a lie. They whatever they do, Allah subhanaw taala is forgiving of them. And they will they are they are generalities at this point in

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their life. They are in Ghana, you know you should be worried the selfless punishments punish you. So the best we can do is to teach about love kindness and is Rama that whatever good in the world is from Allah, they do something bad Allah is going to protect the image should feel safe, they should always find that Allah's love is more important than our love as parents then of course, also that to teach them to love the parents and to love the siblings, the families to be loving children and to not to be violent and to be respectful. Perhaps this is the most important lesson after they love Allah subhanaw taala. And then, you know, very good thing to start off with is to teach in the

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stories of the unborn children love stories. And so Allah has put so many stories in the Quran. For us as adults, of course, for children, they should also be aware of the stories and they will remember so we should known abuse with a man, you know, you could talk to the animals now be in a bow with him, you know, he defeated Goliath, we know him animals. So all these stories, we should, all kids should learn those stories. Another thing that's very important is about the bodies and personal hygiene. So the Sharia wants you to teach them, you know, toilet manners, and how to use the toilet how to wash themselves and clean themselves, this is very, very important at that age.

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And then of course, good habits. So along with good habits like eating and sleeping on time, good islamic habits, like eating with your right hand, entering the toilet with your left foot coming off of your right foot, these basic habits, we should sort of try to inculcate in them as a routine and make it a ritual, you know, make it fun as well. So they learn these things. And when we do good deeds, so if we are reciting Quran, if we are listening to a lecture, whatever it might be, include them in it, even if they are playful, and they and they get distracted, no problem. And you know, for example, we do this for a mobile be very good at the moment, we say, Look, guys, it's going to

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be fast tomorrow. So we all need to fast, you can fast half a day. So even though it's not a real fast thing, because you can't force off a day. But it is to encourage them that you participate in the in the action. You know, also, as we said communication skills to speak to them about sometimes at a very young age, someone really close my pass away. And so to communicate and to listen to them, to talk to them about things about gender and the RTR and all those things in a very, in a soft way in a way that makes them to understand. And yes, we have to teach them about dangers and harmful things, there are things about the dunya that is harmful and dangerous. And so they should be aware

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of things like shape on and on without scaring them. But to make them away, you know, that, you know, Allah is good, and she fine is bad, and telling lies are bad and those kinds of things. We teach them the harmful stuff so that they can avoid it. And we explain why. So don't only tell your children and don't do this, you're not You mustn't do that. explain to them why, you know you eat with your right hand. And why do you seem to with your left hand and why, you know, we make Salah explained to them the reason why it is so sad that people in the teenage years or in the 20s, they tell me I've left Islam, because all I was told my whole life is you must do this. And there was no

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reason why and if you don't do it, you'll be punished. That's all they knew about Islam. It was a whole list of do's and don'ts, and there was no reason behind it. And so it's important to explain physical stimulation. The professor Salam encourages us like we said, you know, the Hadith about swimming and all those kinds of things that he physically It is part of the development. And of course, it find the young and the Sahaba of old. This is a very important time for memorizing so if you can, and if not, don't pressurize them. But the minds are very open to memorizing and they saw if the child is able to because they can't understand complex things and the reasoning gives the

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ability to reason muscle develop. And so memorizing is a very strong tool and that's why many children they learn a lot of the back to us and you know, is of the Quran, the short Sutras, this is the time to try and teach them those things. But again, it is not about pressurizing them into doing it. It is not important that they memorize books and books of things are many Hadees of being hospitable Quran if Allah blesses them with Mashallah is good. It is much more important for them to have a relationship with Islam. And this is the most important thing, let them have a good relationship with Islam. And as for learning details and information that will come with time, if

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the relationship is they, they that will come and if they've memorized many things, and they don't have a relationship with Islam. And really it will not serve much purpose in the future. Just we divert a moment to talk about an inch foreign law. I must mention of course I'm not a expert at all in the field of childhood.

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Psychology, I'm not the field in any kind of psychology. In fact, the only thing I can say is that I'm a father of three children, one hamdulillah. And it is a very difficult thing for us learning how to be a parent, many of us, you know, will go into it clueless. And there's so much books, and it almost becomes overwhelming when you go online. And check is my child on track in terms of development. And, you know, it can sometimes depress you, when you compare what the psychologists say, your child should be doing XYZ. At a certain age, they call it milestones, and you'd feel you're alone, my child is already one year in me still not doing this. And they're not doing that

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they five, and they can't talk, those kinds of things. And of course, as a parent, it's very, very demoralizing. But it's important also, to take note of these milestones. So as they say, skills such as talking, taking the first step, smiling, even waving bye, bye, Blow a kiss, all these are called developmental milestones. And children need to reach these milestones at different levels in the in the development. And so the question that we're always asking, Is my child on track? How are they doing? Are they falling behind, you know, we are they, on top of the milestones is a very big thing to ask. And these are checklists, which there are many checklists, but most of them, they divided

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into four different categories. They are physical development. So the body, you need to move in a certain way, at two years old, five years old, the body needs to do certain things, then these cognitive, you know, thinking, the ability to reason and think that needs to develop at a certain age, language development, the ability to speak, listen and speak. And, of course, the social and emotional development, how they interact with other children and other people around them. And each one of these areas, the child needs to meet these, these milestones. And you know, very interestingly, there was a study done by a research institute where they took the base lists. So

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there are many lists of milestones that are two months, these are the physical milestones, or two months, these are the emotional milestones. So many researchers have put down lists, and they took the best list in the world of Boston child's hospital, took these lists of the best of them in the world. And they looked at these lists, and they said that the appears to be 14 milestones that appear common across all business. So different lists will have different things as milestones. But they found that there are 40 commonalities across all these lists. And we've added some of them here, and I won't go through all of them. But it's something for you to read if you have a child

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between the age of zero, and five, basically, to look at these lists. And I must give a disclaimer here, that even though it's important to measure your child against these benchmarks, to look at your child and compare, how does your child compete on these milestones, remember that each child develops differently, each subject, sometimes your child will skip milestones, which is not very initially good, you might think it's good. But for example, if a child walks before they can throw, it's not a good thing your child should crawl, sometimes your child struggles to reach a milestone and inshallah, once they reach that milestone, they excel. And really, maybe I can just mention my,

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my experience as a parent, you know, it's not a gradual thing. So most things in life, you'll find these gradual progression, children's panela, one day they are unable to walk, and all of a sudden they walking one day, it's like a switch that is turned on, they completely not talking. And then immediately the next day, they start dabbling and the words come like all of a sudden, and so it sort of once you reach that point, you know, the switch goes on, and then the development comes and so each child is going to be different. Get there is not a single child that is a textbook child in terms of development. And so the best you can do is to look at those milestones and look at your

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child's development and to regularly consult you medical experts on educational experts, that they will properly assess how your child is developing. And if there are any delays in your child's development, do the necessary interventions that is needed and Subhanallah if there is genuine concern, say something physically is not on par with should be all cognitively all the languages are on par, then you owe it to your child's development to take the intervention that is necessary. Sometimes it's very difficult as a parent is you know, we almost tell ourselves, it will be okay there will just come right? In insha Allah sometimes that happens, but it's better for us to give

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that intervention. Because the way we teach every single moment for a child of this age, every meal, every conversation is a is a learning experience. We are learning how to how to be a human being. And so sometimes they need a different environment and they need different tools and skills that will help them to learn and so early intervention can be life changing. And also remember sometimes I know there are many parents, that when the children are not developing, then they blame themselves. For us as parents we did not decide what kind of childhood was going to give us. There are some parents as we sit in as Allah mentioned the Quran for some Allah gives voice others he

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gives goals others he gives both boys and girls and others he gives no children. Sometimes he gives you a child that will excel at everything. Another child will struggle another child will be sickly

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another child would live long another child will die. This is Allah's decree. And we can decide what Allah gives us. Rather, Allah has given those children to us as an Amana, they don't belong to us, they belong to Him. And so we need to do our best to provide them with the best environment for them to flourish, the best environment for them to develop. And the risk, the result lies with Allah, we tie the camel, we give what we can. And the result is with Allah. And so I've given a list of milestones. And I said, as I mentioned, I say, this is taken from, you know, different websites and things like that. And I appreciate that if there are any psychologists, you read this and you agree

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or disagree, please take me now. But this is for, you know, if I say, if I was a new parent, these things are very important to look at and to assist your child. But of course, don't go overboard, every child is different. And so look at these milestones and go through them. And in sha Allah, there is some benefit. Now, there are certain warning signs, of course, sometimes, and as I said, the best thing for your child in the development is to constantly take him to the pediatrician, the doctor to do a proper analysis. And so things that you need to be wary about, especially young children, if they don't respond to stimulus, you know, if they don't, loud noises, bangs and stuff

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like that they don't turn the head, it's there could be a hearing problem. Or if, you know, you move your hand, the eyes don't follow, they don't make contact with your eyes, they're not able to reach to the mouth, especially as young children or sit up there, they're clumsy, or they draw a lot, these are things that you need to need to look at. You also will notice if a child is struggling with the speech, or there's a major delay in the speech, they need something to to check, check up, you know, extreme behavioral issues of having very angry or very sad, very scared, those things may be out of the normal range, they have this difference between tantrums and meltdowns, you know,

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those kind of things, you have to assist those things. And it's best for you to consult a doctor so that their child again, like any, any if a child, so for example, if the child had a physical sick, a bit of cough, or they had a fever, we take the child to the doctor, and so they could be a developmental problem. And so we also take the child to the doctor. Lastly, and I mentioned this for any one of us, any parents, that is maybe struggling with a child that is sick or a child that is not meeting with developmental goals, they have some kind of disability. And I was presented with you and bless you in that last part that is your taste. And I was pinata Allah has given that child

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to you as an Amana and it is a means for you to intergender and it means for you to give extra effort. And so this is part of that love that Allah subhanaw taala has basically provided you with and Allah will not put a burden upon anyone, one that they cannot meet. Also, it doesn't mean that you should sort of give up hope and become fearful or despondent is no just one person and there's so many that we can take one person that really stands out to show you the amazing the nature of loss panthella perhaps the greatest scholar in Islam is Imam Bihari. We know that Soham Hari, his book is the most authentic book and the most important book in the world. After the Quran of the

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Quran, Imam Khalid, his book is the most important and most authentic book and do we know that mumble higher himolla when he was a young child, basically two, three years old, he lost his eyesight, he became blind, and many people basically would have in the past on Allah. Today, if you're blind, your life is really the polygon those who are blind too far. But in the past, you know, 1000 years ago, if you're blind, what were your prospects, you couldn't do anything, you're basically going to be invalid your entire life. And his mom his dad also died, so he was like an orphan. And so his mom would make constantly dewater hundreds upon gadget that our last panel

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accuses some and so not only Allah kill him and returned his eyesight, but he had a photographic memory after that, after that when he could see he would memorize everything he saw. And that is why he became Imam Ramallah and instill this to our, of his of his mother. And so no matter how difficult the situation is, the art of appearance, especially appearance is so blessed and so mobarak and a grandparent that insha Allah is going to be enough to grant your child the best of the union of animals under bless us and our families and our children. I mean, just like lajitas Allah sent them hammered while earlier so have yourselves Salaam was sending from Nairobi. alameen