Fiqh Of Love Episode #17 Publicising The Marriage
Channel: Muhammad Salah
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Salam Alaikum salam My name is John Fontaine and welcome back to a brand new episode of the thick of love. Today we are joined with Dr. Muhammad Salah Sri come share, Riley consider I'm John Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh how's it going? Wonderful hamdulillah How about you sir? Yeah hamdulillah
so Sheikh mashallah, we've been discussing marriage and love for Nizami perspective, it makes you happy. It makes you happy as well. Of course, definitely. You should I am happy should make you happy. Yeah. I mean, it doesn't always make someone happy. But it should yeah, and that's what inshallah that's we're hoping that this series will help him a lot of people happy inshallah. Inshallah. And also, you know, learning, you know, we spoke about learning the benefits,
and all the rulings regarding marriage from an Islamic perspective. And hopefully, this can, you know, we can avoid some of the mistakes that are made with the Muslims. So the past few episodes have been speaking about the actual Nikka
speaking about the conditions, etc, pillars and conditions and conditions. Also, we spoke about the guardianship, the role of the guardian.
And today, we want to actually speak about the actual Nica on the day when it's happening and where should this happen? Because there's some misconceptions people think that it shouldn't be held in the masjid maybe, you know, it's too sacred or, or something. Where's where should the catch would take place, as a matter of fact, is a commended to hold it in the machine. It's permissible to hold it in the machine at home at the Bible house, or the goons house or in a banquet hall, it doesn't matter. What matters is as long as you're not making any violation, particularly on this bliss at night, or the day on what you are processing the marriage contract. You know, it has been a lot of
challenge to finally find the right suitor.
The right soul and life mate. So the least you can do is to say, thank you Allah. And it is not defeating whatsoever to thank Allah by disobeying Him. So what is supposed to be grateful and thankful to Allah subhanaw taala there is a Hadith but before a quarter, I like to say that it's known it's a weak Hadith, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi salam said, Allen will have the Nikka
What do I do when Masjid OBU? Allah hibbett the hoof? So the Hadith suggests, number one, the announcement and the publicity of the marriage. So as many people as possible would know that John and Sal are already married. I know. You know. So people would know that these guys are married when they see them together. They know that the husband and wife
so long the announcement is to hold a gathering or a banquet to throw a party, whatever it is done in the masjid that will serve the purpose. And he said was aloof and Masjid it is best to process the marriage contract in the masjid. So bigger number of people will get to witnesses. So when you speak in about the announcement, you're not speaking about the walima. At the moment, you're speaking about literally just getting the actual contract contracts done. Exactly announcing it immediately. Yeah, well, the walima would serve the purpose of the announcement as well, like I'm inviting you for what guy? This is because I got married. So even though it came nearer, but this is
some sort of announcement, the process of the marriage contract, if it is done in the machine, it will serve the purpose of the announcement. Many people will witness it. Then in the last thing of the hadith of Rebo. Allah He with the forfeiture has beaten the DA for the drum. But that shouldn't be
performed in a machine, obviously, how important is the announcement? The announcement, according to the vast majority of the Muslim jewels is Mr. Hub is recommended. In other words, sometimes they want to keep it on a small scale.
Okay, for many reasons. So the Guardian give his consent, the guy proposed and the goal is happy. And they made it within that household. Is that permissible, perfectly legal. You know, I've come across some instances, especially in the UK, where they don't want to have they don't want to announce it too much because because of their particular culture and family, maybe they you know, they'll expect maybe to
fall into haram, you know, in actually having a party and music, etc. So you'd recommend it if this would happen just to keep it? Well, first of all, we need to discuss whether it's permissible or not, then afterward everybody's free to do whatever they want to do, in some cultures, whenever there is a death, and not does not just in the family in the street in the neighborhood. So the people have common sense. And the watch for the feeling of the family who lost a loved one. So even though the wedding was today, and they put the lighting and the
party is ready to be announced, and they pull everything off, so the process the marriage contract in, in their house and their apartment, in their flat on a small scale, so there is a reason why they canceled the party and the announcement, but it was done with fulfilling the purpose and the conditions. The Guardians consent, the goes approver and the witnesses, and the guy who's the husband has proposed and his proposal has been accepted. So that said they will do it. There are many reasons we can count many reasons as Why would people like to keep it on a small scale or even to the extent of keeping it secret? If you want it Yeah. What is the ruling regarding this keeping
it secret? As long as his witnesses of course, exactly. So as long as the marriage is witnessed in the marriage contract is witnessed by the witnesses who fulfill the conditions will that is valid. Okay. Okay, so Subhanallah you know, people might have many different reasons for not having a, you know, announcing it, you know, maybe they don't have enough money, you know, because of the because of the matter, we discussed him or her in the last episode. So it is permissible.
So someone can you see does not mean that a man and a woman, they go and they rent a hotel room and they say Allah is our witness. Let's get married. Yes. This is not the secret that we're referring to. This is not marriage. This is adultery. Yes. Okay. Marriage Contract with its pillars, hijab and cowboy conditions.
The consent of the Guardian, and the approval of the god is Arab and Cabo between the husband and the wife, who are both present and perfectly fit to get married.
So in terms of this announcement, or you might, I heard you use the term party as well, of course, in the West party kind of has a bit of a different understanding. And in fact, many people, even Muslims, they do have, they do hold a party where they will have maybe music. Maybe the woman that in some cultures, not not all cultures, but some people maybe they would say that the woman has a right not to wear hijab on that day, or she can have makeup and the men and women have free mixing etc. What's the Islamic Guidance on holding a party or a gathering like this?
The linguistic meaning of the word party is an artifact to celebrate. So it's linguistic meaning applies to our Islamic party which is perfectly legal. And it can fit the parties that you guys hold in the west or in the UK or here or there.
So the applied meaning may be different. What we're referring to here Muslims have the right and they're encouraged to party Halal party, where you know, whenever the Prophet sallallahu Sallam got married, women got to party. The people came to congratulate the prophets, Allah salah, Manali and Fatima got married likewise, don't you think that the marriages in Islam they just keep a low profile and no one is happy. They sing songs the beat the dwarf and but women together men together many Nofal nixing the idea of it's only one night per per year Subhanallah I tried to convince a lot of people even if it is one night This night is more worthy to be grateful to Allah by being
obedient to him by being thankful to him for making this whole process take place and facilitating it. So they think it's okay. You see some sisters who are wearing a face veil but they convince her the family or the groom's family, you know for everyone to have fun. So she would go to a makeup artist or the cola makeup artist which is perfectly okay if she is going to be alone with women and party together. But to to wear a full makeup and do the plucking of the eyebrows which is also forbidding even on that particular night for the husband or for anybody else and take the hijab off and she would be sitting on the highest play high place where next to the groom, where everyone is
taking pictures. Everyone is videoing and she's me
You know, exposing her beauty and most of her body parts. Why because it's a wedding mind, that is not permissible, whether on the wedding night or otherwise. So the person must understand that if you want to be happy, you're gonna make Allah happy. If you think that he can gain pleasure, happiness and joy in anything other than obeying Allah and making him happy, that will never happen, it will never happen. The Messenger of Allah peace be upon him said, Whoever seeks the pleasure of Allah even if that may upset people allowed be happy with him or her and we'll make those whom he was worried that they may get upset with him make them happy and pleased the respect and the honor
that person he's a man of honor she's a woman of honor and whomever see whoever seeks the pleasure of people if that ends up this person Allah, the no one will be happy with him neither Allah nor that people whom he was trying to please justification. So of course wearing so the woman it's okay for her not to wear the hijab as long as it's within the women's section absolutely and is not with the men etc. Where a fool may come when the wedding dress white with any color, it doesn't matter, enjoy it, have fun, sit on a high place and there are singing around you they are beating the door for the drum. One of the is permissible. And also in some weddings, you sometimes see that the
groom, they will bring the groom that the male onto the women's side and kind of parade in for the women and you know, kind of just to show well, if this if women are wearing hijab, and he's just coming to pick up his bride fine. But normally when the when the women together
they take it lightly, so they remove their hijab and they have fun the same song they clap. As we just said it's permissible to have fun. Aisha radi, Allah and I used to go among women in order to give the bride to her groom so they would party Halal party again, okay, the Islamic party singing songs and beaten the drum that is permissible. So for the husband to go if he's going to pick her up and these guys are not exposed, it's okay. But to say among the women and party again, we're we're saying that let them in party together and enjoy the celebration and let the women enjoy this celebration chisako Akasha shake we're just going to take a short break and we'll come back after a
break and and show this up. So join us after the break Santa Monica de la Heba katha.
Salam Alaikum salaam Welcome back to the effect of love. Saya comm chef radical Salam wa rahmatullah wa barakato. So we've been discussing the actual Nikka and we've announced the marriage. Okay, now I want to speak specifically about the walima. Now, what's the difference between announcing the merge and the walima? Because there's a slight difference. The announcement could be done without offering a Voluma they were Lima is feast or the marriage banquet, the food that is offered, in order to invite people to feed people, it is a way of showing appreciation, giving thanks to Allah subhanaw taala for blessing you with this beautiful bride. Finally, you found your life mate. So you want to
say thank you, Allah subhanaw taala for that, and also those people who have come to accept the invitation and eat from the walima food, you will benefit out of their supplications because they have been instructed by the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him to make a specific invocation for your virtue for your welfare and welfare of your marriage, you and your bride. So it is sunnah some of the scholars assume that it is largely because the Prophet sallallahu Sallam once said to one of his companions by the name Abdur Rahman and now who got married and he inquired about the dowry, how much was it he said, it was like the you know, the date Seed of Gold, the weight or the size of the
Dead Sea of God, and I said, then I will immortal be SHA if you have the means, you should offer the olema even if it is something as little as just the sheep, in this case, it is different than the RPF ah different than the old here. In the case of forelimb it is recommended to offer food to people you cook and you invite people to come and eat other your place or another banquet, so that people get together to eat what is this for? It is a wedding of so and so. Oh, since I got married, or I'm getting married, I'm inviting you for my wedding. So the William is a general word refers to any feast that you invite people
For but when it comes to the wedding walima there is something distinct because accepting its invitation is a must. Yeah, you know so so just to backtrack there on that point, this is the ruling of the walima is a Sunday's is correct is recommended? If
so, what are some of the wisdoms behind having
the walima? Well, as I said, you want to say thank you Allah, the Prophet sallallahu sallam said of a matar, so it's feeding in Allah. And that's why if you really want to thank Allah, it's not a matter of showing off. Look so and Sony got married their walima was huge. They offer like 100 km L and they offer so much food, so much waste, no, it is not about that. In fact, in the Hadith, the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him said, to distinguish between the walima which is supposed to be a mean of giving thanks to Allah and feeding people, sharing the joy and happiness with others, and the one who choose to show off. So he said peace be upon him. This for armillary Inoty Yoda ILAHA
aronia oil sulfur Cara, how evil is such feast or Ilima,
which only the rich people are invited to attend. While they are not in need for a while is the poor who would die to eat, you know, they are being neglected, no one is inviting them. So they will enter your invite. It's not about a show for you invite the right yes people because you will benefit out of this application. So when should the Lima be done? Should does this have to be done on the actual day of the Nikka? Or should it be done afterward online because in this class, this is not like in depth explanation. I just want to share with a couple who are about to get married what to do. Whether you do it on the same night of consummating the marriage, or the night before couple
days before or the morning after you consume it the marriage all of that is permissible. Now you're gonna ask me Tell me what did the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him do?
The prophets Allah Allah Allah sent him in the walima of
Xena been the judge it was after he consumated the marriage next morning he said to anus evening Malik and why the people?
Okay, so normally the Prophet sallallahu Sallam through the marriage banquet, or they will even after the consummation of the marriage. But again, it is one of the means of announcing or ishaah or the only publicity for the marriage. Yes, number two is a means of giving thanks to Allah subhanaw taala for making it easy for you to marry the girl of your dream. So who's the one who's actually offering the walima? The man the groom? So I wanted to ask about this as well. So who is financially responsible for this? walima it's always the man when it comes to finance. It's the man or his family. But also I some cultures in some cultures share, if I'm not mistaken, the Indian culture is
that is that they actually the women actually take the burden of the
so from an Islamic perspective, what you know, in that particular culture, unfortunately, the woman and her family bear all the burden all the financial burden, they pay the dowry, they do everything. You know, there's one, there's one brother in the UK, he married
an Indian. And he says he just has one condition that they have a very, very small walima. That's his condition. And then and then the family said, Well, in our culture, we pay for the weima. He said, have it as big as you want.
Yeah, and that he can which can be whichever figure you assume, is permissible, even though it's the it's on the man to pay. But if these cultures, you know, if they want to pay, it's okay, now there's so now the man is the one who throws the party and offers the arena and the feast, the woman doesn't bear that burden. The woman only collects the dowry, and that is worse. So if the father wants to hold his own walima because he's got rid of his daughter.
Now, you know, we're talking about a time where people now are in financial strain, they're having financial problems. So if the groom and his family, the bride and her family, they get together and they offer the walima. And they participate. Cool. This is great. You know what, even furthermore, if more than one groom, because one cannot afford to make olema by himself, so they invite to three grooms to three weddings, and they make one volume and they're measured and they invite everybody that to serve the purpose. Doesn't have to be like a big big feast. We're talking about how the Prophet sallallahu Sallam married to Sofia or the Allahu anha. And when you read about the protocol
of the wedding and and who decorated and
adorn, who is the makeup artist who prepared Sofia for the prophets Allah Salam on the night of consumed in the marriage. It was his other wife almost selama Radi Allahu Ana. At that time the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him did not have you know
financial means to throw a big holiness you know he did number one he prepared what is known as hice you know when you will go to the Haram during Ramadan for Iftar the offer dates, fridge dates, dry dates you go and there is something like a paste. So, that is dates smashed with the with bearer and dried milk, condensed milk, and it is so delicious. And the Prophet sallallahu Sallam loved the Heisman so that was the only no meat was in love. Very sad. Not only that, and not only that Salalah Sanam said, mankind endo che affiliative. So he wants to offer the walima and he doesn't have enough so he offered what he could and he said, Whoever have some surplus of food, bring it over.
Mashallah. So basically, I can help you on the olema I can bring some food, your friends, your relatives, everybody will bring a dish like a potluck. And this way you would help the person who does not afford it, or he cannot afford it. On the other hand, if you have the means, the bigger as long as you know that there is a decent number of people who would consume all the food, and there will not be any waste, do it. Just do it. Because feeding people food, whether rich or poor, is something praiseworthy. Walter Emona time Allahu beam is Kenan. We're a team and we're a Syrah in Emanuel como como Jolla. As long as you're doing this for the sake of Allah and seeking His
pleasure, fine. So the Prophet sallallahu Sallam in the case of Zen had been to Jash he had some surplus and a lot of means, so they will lean towards a lot of meat. nsmt Malik said he distributed bread and meat almost to everyone and more than once, so based on your capacity, and your affordability, whatever you can afford, but do not skip it. You have wasted I'm sorry. So don't skip it and don't waste it. Don't waste in the case of family attorney brought the Allah who
had he was poor. And he didn't even have means to pay the dowry. The Prophet sallallahu sallam said, give her anything. I don't have any and who's the bright Prophet Muhammad's daughter Fatima? Radi Allahu anha. So the Prophet sallallahu sallam said, and what happened to the armor that I gave you said I still have it? Is it give it to her in something as means of dowry? And he said, Yeah, hi, Lee ma hos walima. You know, with every wedding, there should be walima. But I don't have so sad ABI Waqqas for the ALLAH and he was very well off, was there and he said, I have a CAPTCHA. I got it for you. A CAPTCHA is around. So sad over there am somebody offered whatever. And this is how they
thought, or prepare the holy man. And it is, as a corporation, and Taiwan suppose is beautiful, you know, hearing these stories from our beloved Prophet salallahu Salam, O Allah, Allah, you know, and it reminds me that we had a new Muslim in Manchester as well in England wire from and similar thing happened, you know, he didn't have much money. But the whole community supported him, you know, a bit of money here but of money, there's some food, there's some people cooked. And he really do feel the baraka in such events on a line and is compliant with the divine instruction in surah. Allah, the Almighty Allah says, what I want to add Albery what Toccoa you should help one another and
cooperate in achieving what is right is and what is good. And today, we're helping you tomorrow, they will be helping me and so on. You know, we feel happy for each other. Of course, this is how it should be, you know, the community should help each other. But shake How important is it to answer the invitation to the William I went when people were invited, you know, when you invite, when you invite me for lunch tomorrow, and you say, I want you to have you for I want to have you for lunch tomorrow. I may come I may not based on my availability, but in the world am I when it comes to the volume of the car or the marriage? If you're invited by name, it becomes obligatory upon you. So you
got a text message. John, please, honor me tomorrow with your visit to heaven. olema my son is getting married and getting married, then if you're available, even if you're fasting. Even if you're fasting you should attend. The Prophet sallallahu sallam said you should attend. If you're not fasting, eat, and if you're fasting for your salad, you animate Doha because the purpose of walima or from the attendees and the invitees side, is to enjoy the food and make dua while I'm eating because I'm fasting
Then you make dua, you PRAY and He supplicate for the couple you say BarakAllahu la Kuma May Allah bless you both Baraka Allahu Allah Kuma and may Allah cover you and put Baraka upon you envelope you with Baraka was Yamabe Nico Murphy higher May Allah gather both of you in goodness. So there's something not to be missed if the person was fast in a voluntary fasting, and he knows that you invited him by the name and he said you gotta come he will honor Me and you it was Monday or Thursday he will make you happy to see him eating break your fast break your fast you will be rewarded because this is a legitimate reason. If he was fast in making up Ramadan or fasting or Val
then you should not break your fast just shake Subhanallah beautiful advice from from this upon Allah. And that's a great points we're gonna finish this episode on
hungry. Yeah. Thanks for joining us again. We'll we'll take this to the next stage in the next episode inshallah. So Subhanallah great lessons learned there as a community we should work together, support people getting married, and we'll really see the benefits. Join us next time for another episode of the thick of love as Salaam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.