Fiqh Of Love Episode #16 The Dowry – Mahr
Channel: Muhammad Salah
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Salam Alaikum salaam Welcome back to the fic of love. My name is John Fontaine and we're here joined with Dr. Mohamed Salah Soweto chef welcome Salah more rahmatullahi wa barakato hamdulillah we've been really progressing throughout the series and the past few episodes have been speaking about the Nika and a part of the Nika is the MaHA or the dowry, which will say in English.
What exactly is the mother or the dowry from an Islamic perspective?
The best reference to that is obviously the Quran.
The Almighty Allah says in the chapter which he called Women,
the fourth chapter of the Quran, the whole chapter, the whole surah is called Anissa or the women
in the beginning of the surah and the fourth is the Almighty Allah says will add to Nyssa saw Ducati hin Nicola
phentermine Allah Comanche Amin on Epson fair Kulu honey and Maria this ayah says all and he explains all everything about the dowry at UniSA give to the women whom you intend to marry their dowry
and this though he is willing gift, you're not allowed to take anything out of it.
It is for her to keep so neither her father nor her family, no you as a husband have any right over this segment which is delivery or what is known in Arabic as ullmark. Then
the ISS for employment Allah Comadre Minho, NAFSA later on if your wife decided to remit some of the dowry, or to forego some of it, or to give you a part of it, Falco Liu, who honey and Maria, so enjoy it, it's perfectly legal, it's halal, but not through putting pressure on her. So neither the Guardian nor her family nor the groom have any right in the part, which is the wedding gift or the dowry. The wedding dowry is a must. But it is not a condition for the validity of the wedding contract. Okay. In other words,
if they forgot to name and specify the dowry,
and they process the marriage contract properly, Mashallah.
The Guardian gave his consent. And since she was his first daughter, he never give any of his children in marriage before. So he is unaware of that. And, or, as you know, that in some cultures, they don't really care and some other cultures, the guardian of the bride pays dowry to the groom. It's weird, but this is what is happening. So we say, even if you process the marriage contract, you still have to give her dowry. By now you're gonna say, Well, in this case, she's not gonna get what she really deserves, because in the case of negotiation in the dowry before the marriage contract,
the girl, the bride, and her father and her family have a big chance of asking for a specific dowry, and that is alright, as long as they are not exaggerating, and it is subject to negotiation. And it is subject to acceptance or refusal, perhaps the groom cannot afford it. And guess what many grooms say no, no, no, this is very little, actually, I'm offering double or triple.
Keep in mind, John, this is not a price for merchandise you're purchasing. Allah subhanaw taala said Nicoletta and Sado Kati, that's her right.
And it's a gift, but it's a must. But you're still allowed to for instance, if if somebody is asking for a lot of money, and maybe you can't afford that much, you're allowed to kind of speak to them and maybe get the mean negotiate bargain.
I don't want to use the word huggle.
But you know, just kind of speak to them and discuss local Anthony you can both agree on what happens there is something called Morrowind mist. Maroon mess, plays a very important role in determining how much should be the dowry
for innocence. I said if a woman got married her father and she didn't ever demand it in a dowry.
The marriage is valid
But he still must pay that money how much? We'll look for a girl who is like her age Weiss from the same family. Same beauty, same age, first time to marry or second time to marry her cousin. What was her dowry? She married a couple of months ago when the Dow he was like 20 grands, okay, that will be her dowry. We did not specify a dowry before the wedding, Egyptian 1000 or whatever it depends, depends whom you're marrying. And what are you married? Yeah, bottom line is, it's not a price. But it is something to appreciate the woman and Allah subhanaw taala said Nicoletta, and that's for her yeah, not to be touched. Then he said for in turban Allah Kuma and che in Minho. nevsun for Kulu
honey and Maria so if the wife later on decided to give you a part of it, or to give it entirely to you, enjoy it is halal.
SubhanAllah. So, you know, is
so the contract is still valid without the MaHA.
So initially, even though it's not intended to neglect, or drop it, but if it happens, what about if someone did intentionally neglect it was still he still valid, we still have to state and specify an amount of Devery, even if they got married without a dowry, and then
she will collect that dowry, whether sooner or later, sometimes a person cannot afford to pay the entire amount.
You know, certain families
they demand a dowry, which is affordable, but that particular guy doesn't have this amount now, because in order for him to buy the house or the flat, it simply grounded him, he doesn't have any cash. So it says I agree, I'm gonna pay the emotionality, but not now.
the scoring, so they can delay the delay, he can delay entirely you can delay a part of it, I have to agree on one of my careers he was mashallah he is the best surgeon in one of the states in the USA. And when he gave his daughter in marriage to somebody, right before the process of, you know, making the marriage contract, I asked about the dowry, did you guys agree to a dowry, the guy is very well off and he buys his daughter, whatever she dreams off. And this guy, the groom, the future husband, was still a student. You know what he said? Write it down. $1 said $1 He said Yes, $1 That's very kind of you. But he specified $1 So there is nothing there is no minimum. No, there is
no maximum. And some people cannot afford it. So they say it's a wedding ring hamdulillah and some people you know how they kings in the Princess Mary, they give like you know several kilos of gold or they can afford it, no restrictions. But in this respect, the Prophet sallallahu Ariosa lemma says exaro Hoonah Baraka is Rohan nama owner, Yanni, the marriage which goes less,
has more Baraka in it. Mashallah, yes, because it is not based on financial aspects. It's based on mutual agreement based on love based on you know, forming a family so that you can have righteous children and so on. You mean that all of that is not considered. In the case of the dowry where it's very high, it is considered but it's not a priority.
What is causing
the unmanaged rate to be on the rise among Muslims? Nowadays, especially Muslim girls, is the parents who are very demanding. Say no, my daughter will never marry anyone unless if he pays 50 grands who can afford 50 grands right now. Perhaps you're looking for an old man for a retired person. He collected his retirement 401k And he's ready to pay that much. But a person who just started off his career he just graduated his 22 years 24 Masha Alana is age. He's making 4000 5000 a month. So after taxes, he is left off with 3030 500 and you're asking him for 50,000 How's he going to pay that? How's he going to pay the rent or the payment for the house for the car, and for the
jewelry and for the furniture? We're gonna take it easy. We're gonna have mercy on them, you know? Because you know the ideally
We want to get them married. That's that's what we need to really try to get here. And we want to remove as many obstacles as possible, really, and make it easy for for especially the young ones to get married, spawn, shake. Don't you feel that in this day and age that there are there is some exaggeration in the diary like, you know, sometimes marriage not only the dowry, but the whole cost of the wedding and the dress and this that and the and they have walima everything. Do you think these become over exaggerated in this day and age? You gotta keep in mind that some people can afford it. And if they pay like a million dollar in a wedding, it doesn't really hurt them much. But
if they're doing it in a lawful fashion like mashallah, they're thrown a party feeding 1000 People 2000 People would pleasure Mashallah. That's a very good way to start off your marriage. It's like going for Hajj. John, you and I went for Hajj last year and Hamdulillah shockula He came and he saw me sleeping on the floor. There are some people who actually have rooms in Minar rooms. Okay. And king size bed has very expensive that's very costly. But guess what they can afford it. They have a lot of money they can afford it? Is it haram? No, it is not haram as long as you're not borrowing in order to throw this big party if you just to show off and say that look at my daughter's wedding.
And as long as you're not being in those belly dancers and singers and an inviting everybody men and women to dance together and free mingling, because this is definitely the wrong beginning. And it's an awful way to start off a marriage life because there is zero blessings in such marriage. Because instead of saying thank you Allah, you challenge him through the words that he gave you. So if if you use whichever amount to make a walima and a wedding party in a lawful fashion as long as it is in our to please Allah subhanaw taala and you can afford it no problem. Look what Allah Almighty says in respect of the maximum of the dowry, I guess we can discuss this later. And we'll we'll come
back to that in the next segment inshallah. So, we're just going to have a short break, make sure you join us in a few minutes time and we'll be back with the fit of love.
Salon when it comes to love, welcome back to the fear of love, so I can share. Welcome seller warahmatullahi wabarakatu. Sheikh just before the break, we were speaking about, you know, the amounts of Mahara and things like this, and, you know, you said that, it's okay. For instance, if you've agreed to pay a certain amount for the model, is it okay to pay later? Can you elaborate on this on this? Sure. The deferred dowry, whether a part of it or the whole thing, we agree number one, you have to name it our that's a must. Even if you marry or forgotten without actually agreeing to adultery, then we have to stipulate the dowry as FISMA you have to pay that much of dowry. So if
you guys agree to certain amount and you cannot afford it now, and you guys agreed that you will pay it later on, it becomes more harsh, and this more harm or this deferred. A dowry is a loan. It's a debt that you owe your wife. In other words, it is you once you have really Masha Allah, your business prospered and you owed the wife 20 grams 50 grams 100 grams. And now mashallah, your business has prospered and you're a multimillionaire. What are you waiting for? Some people and this is pure culture are under the impression that the deferred amount is due if I divorce her or whenever I die? No, that is not true. It's a known that you owe your wife like you owe anyone else
so you have to pay that you wanted to get married he didn't have money so he asked your brother can you give me 50 guns he gave you it has nothing to do with the divorce or death. Once you have the money you're gonna sit here asserted that so you tell your wife one day honey, Masha, Allah I, I sold this, I made some money. And here is you defer Dally, you don't wait. In case of divorce. We have to go to court and present the documents and he owes me that much. What if the person didn't pay the dowry, the deferred amount and he died. Again in Surah Nisa explains how to divide it in
hercus Okay, so normally the Almighty Allah says the division of the inheritance and the distribution of the inheritance happens after that he will see yet in too soon abbia I will die in almond body will see yet in, you will see in every day, which means whether you die first she died first, before we touch the inheritance, before we distribute the cash among the ears, we're going to check out whether he wrote or we'll see whether he owed some money, and he owed it to the friends to the state to the government to the bank. So it's certain you owe that much. So we start paying off the debt since then of the debt, and number one that the wife the differ dowry. So now the dowry if
the wife survives the husband, and she didn't collect the deferred amount of the dowry he dies, she will see she accuse number one collecting the deferred amount of the dowry and number two when it comes to distributing the money which is left off after sitting in the debt, she also has a share in the inheritance and there is no overlapping two different rights. Okay, this is important. So, it is a loan, it has to be paid as soon as possible as soon as you have that cash. Unless if she had him, it's entirely more part of what so if it, if she forgoes part of the revenue fine, but if, if she is the man on her right, then you must honor that you must respect that. And within your life, you have
the means give it to her. So what we're speaking about, you're speaking about the, you know, there's no minimum there's no maximum.
But, I mean, you know, what, if somebody doesn't want to give money, can they give like a gift or something like that? That is also explained in the Sunnah. I remember once who said that a woman offered herself to the Prophet sallallahu sallam, when the Prophet salaallah, Selim showed no interest, politely, and he, you know, apologize to her that he's not willing to marry and so on. One of the Sahaba says, Well, I'm interested. He wanted to marry her, and she didn't mind. So the Prophet sallallahu Sallam says, we'll find that Audi LTM is swallow hot and I'm in hurry, go ahead and find a ring or wedding ring. So the man said, or I don't have any. And he happened to be really
He said, even some clothes anything. He said, Well, I have my izhar You know how in Harju, wherever in Huizar, this the towel wherever around your waist. This court is are they one consists of reader a towel on your shoulders, and a lower towel, you're wrapped around your waist. So that's called the IHSAA. So the men sit to the prophets, I have any Assad the Prophet sallallahu sallam said, Well, if you give her you Izadi will be without any clothes. Then he asked him, How many sort of the Quran you know by heart, he said, I know the surah and the surah and the surah and he counted among them Surah two, Athena was day two, he said well, I will marry you both have provided the dowry will be
to teach her the Quran that you know. So, in this case, the dowry was not material was not cash was not a car was not a house was not golden silver, or wedding ring. Rather, it was a benefit.
And the Quran also talks about that. You remember the story of Moses peace be upon him, when?
Sure I've invited him to reward them for helping his daughters to honor the cattle and fetch water for them. When she says in the movie theater, okay, Leah juicy aka Adorama soccer italiana. So you went and the daughter showed interest and she said Abby, my beloved that is that you hire him in the hiring manager job telco will I mean, so he he sends that she's interested, so he proposed to him
sure I propose the Moses Peace be upon his head in order to do an Okie haka, Deb, Natalia tiny Allah and durante Semenya headed Fein at Nam tashaun, feminine Indic he said Moses,
and he is not a prophet yet, but he's a nice man. Okay, and he's an immigrant. He's a refugee if you want to phrase it this way. They said, Moses, I want to give you one of my daughters in marriage. And it ality so that is something known even before will be to serve me to stay with us and to work for us for eight years.
And if you complete it, if you round it up, make it 10 years that will be very kind of you. So Moses, peace be upon him agreed. And he married one of his
dollars an hour he wants to serve him and he served them for 10 years 10 Complete years. So here the dowry was not monetary. He didn't give him cash. He didn't gold, he doesn't have any. He was very poor. You know he was a refugee.
So it can be a benefit. It can be teaching the Quran can be a service,
as well as those who are well off. We do not tell them how much Delia should pay because the Quran says again in the same Surah Surah Nisa chapter number four in the two consecutive verses 2120 and 21. The Almighty Allah says we're in Ara to Musa Vidal as LG McKenna's, LG, were they to the Hoonah can pardon Falletta who minutiae at that who do wanna hobo then and what SMM Albina then what cave at that? If Ba ba ba, ba, I mean, call me second hadiza these two ideas are very crucial for us to understand and comprehend in the context of marriage. And the marriage contract and mythical real, ended hourly particularly so the Almighty Allah says, if any who decided to take another wife and
divorce his wife, so if somebody decided to divorce his wife, he doesn't have any right to take anything out of the dowry that he gave her while you already consummated the marriage. That said, the entire amount is hers. How much was it at billion to three doesn't matter it's entirely hers hers that's why the Quranic surprised about the huge volume and the huge amount of dowry, even if it is Kuntar, even if it is a mountain of gold, that the hoodoo minutiae you're not allowed to touch it you're not allowed to keep or take anything out of it. So when is a woman deserve half of the dowry well that's a different story that Allah Almighty
says that if you divorce them middle calmly and MS soon before you consumated marriage with them, furnace former Farah
Ella Yeah, foreigner. Oh, yeah for Lady be Eddie Europa that one Nikka. So the I explains a very interesting concept, which is sometimes after processing the marriage contract. Things doesn't go very well. But it happened before consummating the marriage. We spoke earlier. If the marriage is consummated, no matter how huge is the dowry, that's hers. You cannot take anything out of it, even if it is one day after the consummation of the marriage, as long as you're not interested. But if it happened before consume it in the marriage, so the girl is still virgin, or you never touched her. In this case, she deserves half of the dowry, which you guys agree to, unless if she remits it, if
she forgoes it, or the Guardian says, Son, He didn't marry, he didn't take her. So take your money. We're not interested. Thank you so much. We'll keep friendship. What constitutes actual consummation? is, you know, is it merely just being in a room together and you don't know what, what constitutes the consummation of the marriage isn't only the sexual intercourse, but also once they are alone behind closed doors. And that's why this conservation has to be announced. In what sense?
the Prophet sallallahu sallam said Arlene will have the Nikka announce the wedding so that people know when they see John with a woman walking down downtown in whatever Bulevar or in downtown London they don't say Oh, John has a girlfriend or how come the door of so and so is working with John now they know that it was announced that they're already married. So once they are behind closed doors, even if the if there is no sexual relations, that is
officially consummating the marriage JazakAllah hashtag Subhan Allah very beneficial episode to thank you for all the information to Zack locker and inshallah we'll be back next time for another episode of The Tech of love. Make sure you join us next time and I hope you're all getting so much benefit salary crops Allah here