Fiqh Of Love Episode #18 Wedding Night
Channel: Muhammad Salah
File Size: 22.72MB
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Salam Alaikum salam My name is John Fontaine and welcome back to the effect of love and we're here again joined with Dr. Mohamed Salah so I can share articles sit down with Moto Baraka, how're you doing? I'm doing great hunter. It's been a long journey so far. Hamdulillah you know, so many episodes of heilala success. I mean, I mean, the May Allah grant everyone at home who's watching success as well. I mean, you know, we hope that they're actually benefiting and taking notes, I want to assure you, most definitely somebody, somebody out there would benefit out of that. Yeah, a lot of us are about to get married and a lot of people are already married, and they will learn a lot
out of the inshallah inshallah Subhanallah even just a small learning something from every program, every little thing helps, you know, sort of on Allah. Now, in the previous few episodes, we're speaking about announcing the wedding. Also the will Lima, you know, the celebration.
And now, the fight is over.
You know, it's time to go home. And the drums have stopped beating, and the heart is now beating. So we today
I heard you were a singer too, before Islamia, Hunter Lilla used to sing the marriage alarm. Here they are hand in hand, the famous song Love, Marriage, love and marriage, they go together like a horse and carriage.
I'm saying that on the night of consummating the marriage? Well, you know, actually, let's start with that, you know, we it's the night of
the night of, you know, the wedding night. And,
you know, maybe the man can serenade his wife, he could sing her a song or say a poem, you know, something to woo her as they say? Yeah, let's talk about that. As a matter of fact, there are a lot of things which people think they're haram. While they are not haram.
And they're also on the other hand, other things which people think they're halal, but there are definitely haram, you gotta be very careful and distract yourself from. So we'll address this today insha Allah in the month of consummating the version in Arabic, and in fact, it's called the whole
so that he enters upon his wife or she enters upon him when she moves to his house. So in fact, they say dahabiya Yanni, he consummated the marriage already. And we said before,
the consummation from a federal perspective,
counts as if, once they enter into the flat, the apartment, the jumper, and they close the doors. So they are by themselves, where nothing interrupts him from having a complete intimacy, even if it doesn't happen. Officially, marriage has been consolidated, as far as the accounting rules or regulations. And so
the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam, part of some beautiful a ticket on that particular night to people who have never been together for the first time on the first night.
Nowadays due to watching movies, and you know, the world has become like a small village. So what is happening in Las Vegas is being watched, even in Muslim countries. So, the youth are kind of educated but not necessarily on the positive side. We're gonna educate them from the Sunnah side, what they should do. So the prophets Allah, Allah, Allah Salam taught us on that night and before the consummation of the marriage, once you are with her alone, and you're officially married, people have left and it's just you and her. The Prophet sallallahu Sallam advice, something beautiful. A dua for the prayer is the most efficient means of achieving NFN. We hope and we pray that this
marriage was would last. And finally we've come to the point where as you said, the drums for beating and behalf saw the beating. So the Prophet sallallahu Sallam advised that to put your hand you're the man, you take the initiative, so you shy so you put your hand on her forehead, and he supplicate Allah
In the in the area, or higher America belt, the Harley, oh Allah I asked you her goodness, and whatever goodness that you put on her,
and I seek refuge with you again as any evil that may come out of that. So this application is very important and is very beautiful. Also, the Companions some of the companions suggested to start off the night with the paintwork as you see the scholars and the Companions cared a lot about pleasing Allah, even on that night, in order to be pleased by Allah, in order to be happy. On the other hand, you find people because the girl is wearing full makeup, she must love her Astrid Maghrib in Asia, why she cannot perform model if you make sure though, she will mess up her makeup. And the guy is wearing the nice suit and he's worried that if he were to fall his sleeves, they will wrinkle and so
on. So they miss the prayers. No, no, no, no.
Whenever it is a prayer thumb on that almosafer Oh, for your prayer, and worry about the makeup or anything. And even before starting kissing and hugging and say finally Honey, we're together alone. And we achieved our dream. Allahu Akbar, you make will do if it was Aisha, if it was melody of your pray. And if there was no prayer, Masha, Allah offered all the prayers, pray to rock as nephila. You're the Imam, and she prays behind you, they might move. Allah He, John, that is the greatest beginning ever Subhanallah and that in sha Allah secures the sustainability of the marriage. And a happy in sha Allah is a wedding, you know, shake, I once heard a shake comments on the Salah, you
know, the wedding night, you know, offering to Raka. And he said, these kind of reflect a reflection of the marriage to come. The husband is the mom, you know, his wife is following if you make some mistakes here, because he's gonna correct him and help him Subhanallah and, as you said, it's a beautiful beginning, it means the both of them are on the same page. And their aim and their priority is to please the Almighty Allah. You know, everybody's excited. They want to get into conclusion, yes, finally, what I don't want to get intimate subpanel. But I want to say thank you, Allah, for giving us this opportunity for making it happen. Check in some cultures, we see that they
actually the man either feeds the woman or gives her some milk is this prescribed in Islam. It's prescribed in Islam to do that on every single night, not only on behalf of consummating the marriage, the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam used to do that without Isha. And he said, you know, he said couple of things. He said in a few books had become sober. Sadaqa. Whenever you have an intimate relationship with your wife, or a wife having an intimate relationship with her husband, they will be rewarded for that. The companions are surprised because this is sucks, you know, sexual relations, having sexual relations and will be rewarded. Understand that you will be rewarded when
you offer an act of worship. So the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam explained to them simply because this guy and this woman avoided the Haram they could have achieved it and haram, couldn't they? Yes, but they avoided that. And you saw the Hala, they resorted to what is Lawford so the Almighty Allah will reward them both. And they will receive a reward for enjoying an intimacy in a lawful fashion
shake, you know, of course, as Muslims, you know, we
we wait until marriage before any kind of sexual relations.
And often not just with the women, but even with the men. It's quite nerve wracking. It's a scary thing. You know, you've if you've never been in that situation before, it can be very scary, a scary thing, you know, especially for the women, maybe they think, you know, how can they collide these practices, which we'll discuss earlier, break the ice. Yeah. You know, when you pray together, when you pray for her, and you make the supplication and then when you eat together, and the prophets Allah Leidos LMSs had the look method Aha, a few female Urtica sadaqa and you're eating too. They're just you on her nice, beautiful dinner. So you say honey, take this from me. This is our word, your
word it for feeding her. She feeds you too. And you, you start off your life by words of love, by compliments by showing her how much you're appreciative and thankful to Allah subhanaw taala for blessing Musa
beautiful bride you're the best and the most beautiful woman on earth. It's okay to say that it's okay to say poetry and it's okay for her to sing for you and it's okay for you to enjoy each other together in all the lawful means no restrictions on that night except for Allah has made forbidden so how How would I know this might seem a bit detailed if you like but how would one kind of go about doing this? You know
you know one of the benefits of having Masha Allah several wives for the Prophet sallallahu Senan was to teach us how would the Prophet sallallahu Sallam deal with his wives while he is the greatest man and the most righteous large. So there are a lot of lessons we're going to learn from the relationship of the prophets of salaam with his spouses and what they are transmitted to us in this regard. But definitely, you gotta begin off this relationship with you know, in English, the poet foreplay, the kissing and hugging and most important than that is in the way through soothing the relationship with good words is o'clock Asha we'll just take a short break, and we'll be back to
continue this inshallah join us after the break on the fifth of love.
Salam Alaikum Hello. Welcome back to the thick of love Solari comm show radical Salam rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh. So just before the break, we were speaking about the wedding night, and we started with
just just before we ended, we were speaking about the topic of foreplay, you know, before jumping into things. How do we take it from the
remember when we're quoted the idea which Allah Almighty says, and while I wonder Mr. Liddy Allah Hindawi maruf
the eye keeps a perfect balance between the US and the duties of the couple. So I'm delighted now bass Radi Allahu and Houma. And he's the greatest interpreter of the Quran among the companions, and the rest of the scholars
interpreted this ayah as follows. He says, I adorned myself, for my wife, exactly as I like her to adorn herself for me. So why don't we pick it up from there? How would you like your wife to be for you on that night? Or before having an intimate relationship? Many people complain that she's not ready. She's not wearing makeup, she's not taking care of her hygiene, etc. Many people do in the marriage counseling. What about you? So I believe not best, and this is more than 1400 years ago. You like your wife to wear makeup? You're not gonna wear makeup while you were perfume? You were nice Moscow. Nice perfume. And you like to see her? Common her hair. I'm doing hair style. And
there's some nicely, like wise. So maybe after the wedding party, you're sweating. You know, because it was crowded and so on. Then I'll jump into conclusion. Take a nice bath, comb your hair. We're nice perfume. Okay.
Have a nice chat. Before, you know it's okay to do like, you know, foods? Do you stare at her and say, You know what? I feel? You're the most beautiful woman in the world. It's okay. It's okay to say that. And perhaps this is how we see her. You know? What if it? I mean, is it okay to lie in this situation? Why lie? Because you only married her because you think she's the most beautiful woman in the world? I mean, there is no need to lie. You know, if you had another choice, or if you thought that somebody is better, you know, what would you marry this person likewise. So when she says to him that you are the man of my dream, that actually builds up and strengthens the
relationship between both of them, they met the man of the dreams, not the man of the nightmares. Exactly. And in addition to that, keep in mind that the concept of consummating the marriage, it is not a must to be done on that particular night. Muslim girls are modest Muslim girls alike, even in the in the was unlike others. So they do not watch porn. They never been in a relationship. And the version goals are very shy. And maybe they're very scared as well. Okay? They don't have an experience and Muslim men likewise. So if you fail to achieve the consummation of the marriage on that night, no big deal. Maybe tomorrow, maybe later on as long as you're not ready now. Until you
but do not push. And if the other party is scared or is frightened, try to calm them or her or him, it depends on who is is actually scared. Sure, you know, in this day and age, we have a problem with porn.
A lot of people are desensitized to sex.
You know, there's even statistics that
in the Muslim countries, actually porn is quite high.
I actually think of that in a different way, because in a non Muslim countries, Zina is more high. So you know, you know, you have to balance it. But as you say, you know, people are watching porn, and sometimes,
maybe the man or the woman is actually encouraging their partner to watch this, this is permissible. Number one, watching porn is a leading cause of divorce. Nowadays, I'm talking about among Muslims, and Muslims, and in Arabic societies.
When the man assumes that his wife will be all of those, sorry for the word prostitutes that he watches, that's not going to happen. When you read the documentaries about those guys
taken drugs, being numb in order to perform in such evil scenes, that your wife is a modest woman, the wife is a decent woman, she's not like those guys. So what happens is expectations are not being met. And that actually leads to divorce, it can happen on the other side as well. So we'll get to understand that among the evil effects of watching porn, it can, and most likely, it leads to divorce, and failure in the sexual life between the couple. So here a guy is, is a porn addict.
And he's marrying a modest girl. She isn't never been with a man before, she has never seen the janitors before, or a man in the nude before. And, and he assumed that she's gonna be a porn star, definitely, he's gonna break her definitely is gonna cause a huge damage for her. So the person has to make tau A first, and has to try to eliminate those evil scenes and first form his mind and realize that he's dealing with a modest human being, not with a porn performer or porn star, if he wants to maintain this marriage life, otherwise, I can assure you, she will never be able to give him what he sees in what he watches. Because you see this a lot. I get many messages on social media
brothers who the same, they have problems with this. And, you know, if they said before marriage, and it can, it's really setting you up for destruction, really, it's something new, even for the non Muslim. So the non married people out there that really needs to tackle this problem as soon as possible. You see the divine wisdom in the area is number 30, shutter number 24. So that you know, when the Almighty Allah commanded Prophet Muhammad salallahu Salam as far as pulling what meaning I would do when I was sorry, him, why I follow for Jehovah Zelicah as callaham What actually leads to garden ones chastity and protecting him, again is fallen into adultery or fornication is the modesty
of lowering his gaze and in the following eye and her gaze, whenever they see something, even by accident, they lower their gaze, so that they will be protected again as falling into Xena by a person who is sitting and staring and watching. He or she is most likely to end knowledge into this act of Xena, and no modest spouse can offer you what you see. Because this is all fake, the illusion shake, you know, of course,
maybe they've not pleased the wife, you know, the both men and women equally have, you know the right to be sexually pleased by their spouse.
satisfying this the physical desire of both parties is something essential for the maintenance of marriage. And alike what most people think it's only the man's desire and demand. We have some cases where the wife is complaining in marriage counseling that the husband is not doing, you know, he's not performing properly in bed and she doesn't feel satisfied and as a matter of fact, in some cases that lead to separation and divorce. So there are some clinical diagnosis which needs medical attention. I mean, would it be permissible to use medication in that you know, Viagra and things like this? There are some natural effort is foods foods,
particular honey black seed, and if that doesn't work, or
If it works, and the doctor just prescribes you some medication, which assists you to function in this intimate relationship, as long as it doesn't have those severe side effects of may affect your, your heart or your body functions, it is permissible, because it's not only the man who needs to be satisfied physically, but also the woman.
You know, I also want to remind people as well and for you to elaborate on this point, which is, you know, after intercourse as well, what do we need to do? Because, of course, as we met, we started with the salah. You know, at some point, we're going to have to pray Salah, we have to meet hustle, and things like this. Yeah, I will be more than happy to address this. But still, I want to comment on, you know, sometimes the Kabul experience some trouble on consummating the marriage on that night. So the man has to be wise enough to assure his bride saying honey, it's okay, it doesn't matter, no problem. We'll try later.
Perhaps when we go out, when we go for the honeymoon, when
let's go to another hotel or, and I'd like to bring to the attention of the viewers be very careful because some hotels, unfortunately, the install some hidden cameras. So you got to be very careful with what you do in the hotel rooms.
Especially the couple who are newly wet.
So assuring your wife that it is not the end of the world. And I love you in any condition. And you know, we'll try it later some other time. They give her confidence, self esteem, it doesn't bake her she doesn't fall into depression. Okay? You got to understand also girls never been out of their parents houses and all of a sudden she's not in her room. She's not with her those she's in the arms of a man for the first time isn't easy, okay. So take it easy, then after having such a relationship
it is recommended, it is recommended to if you want to sleep if you want to start another relationship, an intimate relationship is to take a break in between perform model. But if there is a prayer time, which is do they in order to be able to pray You both must perform Oslo what is asked is not just taking a shower, it is washing the entire body proceeded with the intention of removing the major impurity due to having sexual relations, the sexual relations, some people under the impression that well, well, I didn't have sexual discharge. It was just, you know, a superficial relationship. When the two genitals come in touch and contact, then the host is do for both of you,
the husband and the wife, the man and the woman. Okay, but it's permissible. If it was done, night, and you want to rest until the morning until fed, you don't have to perform most immediately. But most is mandatory to live the measure impurity to enable you to offer the prayer. Joseph. Joseph will have great advice. Thank you for joining us on this nice episode. And we'll come back to that next time for another episode of The thicker love. Join us next time and we'll be back with more questions and points to reflect on as Salaam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh