Mental Health – A Guide for Muslims with and Dr TK Harris
Channel: Mufti Menk
File Size: 48.91MB
Salam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh My brothers, my sisters, amazing how we're connecting after so long and we're speaking about mental well being mental wealth, mental health. And one of my very, very good friends a person that I actually trust. Dr. tk Harris is going to join us shortly inshallah, I will wait for him to comment here before he actually joins us to talk about certain aspects of mental health, and what he calls mental wealth. So if you have questions, inshallah, while we're speaking to TJ Harris, it would be very, very good for you to ask your questions, we may be able to get some of those questions answered. If not, then at least we will be able to jot down
some of those questions to be able to get the answers perhaps, at a later stage. So we're going to concentrate on mental health, mental wealth, we all know that with the struggles of what has happened across the globe.
With the virus and so many people losing their jobs and so much happening, it has become extremely difficult for many people, to earn a living people have lost loved ones, people have struggled in so many ways lives have changed, and Subhanallah how to deal with this as a Muslim. So the reason why I really love the approach of Dr. tk Harris, is because he marries the Islamic side of it, you know, the religious aspect with the medical aspect. And he actually would present solutions that would not go against any of the teachings of faith, and the teachings of Islam. So it's important because sometimes when we say we need a counselor, or we need help, if you have a person who doesn't
understand your faith, or know the teachings, what will happen is that person may give you advice that might not be suitable for your particular beliefs. And it may contradict the belief sometimes because they don't know or sometimes they don't even mind. So that's the reason why it's important for us to actually connect with experts like TK Harris, Dr. tk Harris and I actually would like to encourage you guys to follow Dr. tk Harris on YouTube as well as on Instagram, many people have given me feedback to say they have really benefited from the they have really benefited from his work. And they have
learned a lot they have come out stronger and better. Even as Muslims together with that beautiful advice given by Dr. tk Harris. So I'm just waiting for him in sha Allah to connect and to comment at least so that we can then join him by the will of Allah Subhana Allah to Allah let me try and see if he is there already. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant, every one of us could miss and ease. And remember my brothers and sisters, it's very important for us to support each other. I call it the Omar family, simply because when it comes to the struggles, we should never be alone. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says that we should be like the example of a single body where if one
organ or one part of the body is in pain, the rest of the body should be feeling that pain, to say the least. And when we say feeling the pain, it's important for us to realize that that pain when we feel it, we should be doing something about it. So
same time, and we will ask him several questions regarding the issue of mental health and mental health.
Why legal? salaamu
how are you doing?
Very nice to hear from you. I see you after so long Mashallah. Oh, you too. I was very pleased to see that you.
Unlike many of us, you were on a flight a couple of days ago. Am I too? Am I to believe that you are not home at the moment?
Well, I am
home away from home. So Pamela, so basically,
I will talk about that inshallah, in one of my videos, I am semi blogging at the moment where we have, you know, the strict spiritual Islamic guidance, as well as a little bit of a personal touch where people can get to interact with the person, get to know some of the real life struggles. And I'm thinking of going into that in a bigger way, simply because life is a struggle when people see you and die. They think that, you know, these people must be living that life, not realizing that we also our own challenges. So I think from a mental health perspective, wouldn't that be a good idea? inshallah? Of course, it would, I think it's very apt to say that, you know, we neither of us would
be doing what we do, had we no experience of difficulty. And I know, you know, because we've known each other over the years, we have both experienced a fair share of hurdles, challenges, and I can say, with, with good with, with with my hand on heart and family law, that I have become stronger and wiser
as a result of those difficulties. So I practice what I preach.
Yes, and just today, I tweeted, saying, you know, when you hit rock bottom, when you're at the bottom, you actually, at times become
the best possible version of you. And the growth is tremendous. The benefits are so many, so many. And it's just amazing how that is so true. Some people realize their potential when they're at rock bottom, and Allah like sort of cuts it out such that you grow far more than you would have grown, had you not hit rock bottom. I think that's exactly right. And medicine and science would bear that out. Because
in a in medicine, and in nature, we have terms such as clear trophy and kale trophy, which basically describes it almost to the to the letter, the old d 30. member, which describes the strong person as compared them to a young plant plant that grows up in storms and wind and rain actually grows up more powerful and more vigorous.
Because we as biological creatures, as thinking beings, we we need something to grow on. And when we're presented with challenges, these are our opportunities, and we should look at them, ideally, unflinchingly.
May Allah give us strength, but, you know, we all have our weak moments. But once we get through those, if we just look at everything as some kind of chance to gain something, then then inshallah life becomes far more rich, Enriching, and we feel better as a result. So you would advise that when we hit rock bottom, when we go through challenges, we must always look for the positives in that negative and never give up no matter what. Absolutely. But I wouldn't, I wouldn't stop at saying, just look at the positives because simply merely being positive, is leaves you vulnerable, I would say Islam is wiser than that.
Look at the ballot, take what the negatives are, and take what the positives are, be closer to the truth. And actually, they will arrive at a greater wisdom still, which is sometimes life is good. Life is bad. Sometimes you learn a lesson, and sometimes you won't know guaranteed, but the main thing you must do is keep facing what you cannot see he does.
Yeah, so can I ask you a question that's been very important, pertinent. People want to know, why do you call it mental wealth instead of mental health? If you can just shed a bit of light on that? Sure. Well, Mila, when I started this work, I mean, you know, as I know, I came from the clinical background, I was trained in medicine in Oxford, and I've worked in England and abroad. And I dealt with a lot of mental illness. And I came across the idea of mental wealth, really, when there was a research into why not why people became ill, but how people stayed Well, how what makes someone resilient? Why, why do we get certain people who go through the same experience as someone else, and
yet, this appearance, this, this experience appears to make them stronger and more productive, whereas it appears to destroy someone else
came across these sort of factors, which are very different to mental illness. And they are things such as belief in Allah or belief in a god to be more scientific about it, if you like
to be connected to other people to find a higher purpose to think so these factors
came together, we think actually life is about both defeating the things that get us down, but also positively claiming the things that make us better. I guess.
If I can pause for a second for a second.
Yeah, you know what what you said is so genius that we need to positively claim the things that make us feel better, positively claim the things that make us feel better. Wow, I've never heard this, you know, come from a medical professional in this particular way. I mean, I'm not saying I've heard everyone out, I'm sure they would agree, but to say that one is dealing with, you know, the mental challenges, of, of loss, and so on. But most important is to know what makes you feel better, so that you and what strengthens you anyway, before you ever have those dips, you would already be empowered by the wealth that would keep you on track to be able to, like you said, some people face
the challenges and become better, and some face a challenge. And they just, you know, they cave in. So yes, that's precisely what I'm talking about. So we developed a science around it, which still hasn't permeated a lot of medicine. In fact, a lot of doctors aren't familiar, I suppose the parallel might be a doctor who sees you for a knee problem, will not necessarily know how to train you in football. And yet a football coach will make you strong enough so that you don't get any problem. In the same way, that
if I asked a mental health Doctor, what does it mean to be mentally fit. And most of them will say something like, Well, you know, try to not drink alcohol, try to work device, try and try to keep yourself all of that really amounts to help avoidance of illness. But what is Fitness, Fitness is strength. And strength comes from doing as, as you suggested, as perfectly explained additional things in our life that make us resilient, and actually allow us to feel whole and courageous. So that even though I've seen that even people who are mentally ill, with chronic illnesses, can also have mental wealth, because they can also have other things in their life that they can turn to and
say, Actually, I might have an illness, but I'm also very good at this, I volunteer here, I'm a very good cook, I am not destroyed on a one dimensional being a full person, love By Allah,
pluses and minuses.
Amazing because I think what we are taught also as Muslims is, everyone is gifted in a unique way. So you have to recognize the gift that Allah has bestowed upon you. And you have to make the most of it. Because what I am capable of doing,
you know, what I enjoy and what I can give, not everyone can give the same thing yet I cannot give certain things that others may be capable of giving. It doesn't make me deficient, you know, doesn't make them deficient. But collectively and together, we're serving a broader purpose and hamdulillah I think that's precisely it. In fact, my approach has been
ever since when I was doing medicine, I found what was missing was this element of asking the patient to say, you know, okay, so you've got this issue. Tell me about some of the things that set you apart in a good way and they will look at me surprised and say, Well, why why do you want to know this doctor? I said, Well, actually, if you know your strengths, when you look to them, they will give you the energy to deal with your weaknesses so that you don't get defined by those things. And I know 100% that you are better at doing certain things in life than I will ever be and I admire you for that no matter what you move to are better at many things that I am, there are things people
out there who are better than both of us, I think that both of us can admire and we have to expect that Allah has given that to every single person and at the very least, there is one thing we can say there is nobody who is better at being you than
you. Oh, there is nobody being there is nobody who is better at being you than you. Obviously yourself. That is amazing. Mashallah, that's empowering. I want to quickly move on to something. So I see there are two more books that are there that you have offered. Can you give us a rundown of the books from the from the first one right up to the last one and what's to come because I know I just want to tell you that since I have actually and let a lot of people know about Dr. tk
Harrison, like I said earlier, what I love about your work is the connection of the faith together with the empowering, you know, the, the medical aspect of it, as well as the religious spiritual aspect of it together, which is unique. And that's why the first book was instant actions. And a lot of people have been benefited from it. The second one if you can continue. Yeah, so well, dude, that instant series that that I began, it was instant actions and instant insights, which were really my first sort of foray into writing things for the general public. And then when the combination, it's the kind of thing that for years and years, I'd gathered in my mind that, you know, actually, none
of this would help anybody knowing this would help anybody. And, and then I remember when people used to, when you tell people that you're a doctor of the mind, immediately, people say, Oh, you know, Doctor, I've got this, and I've got that when my brother has this and that. And I said, If I could just put all of that in a book, so that people could have a little mini me, and people wouldn't feel afraid, or they wouldn't feel hesitant that this guy's just a doctor.
He doesn't know.
How can I package that all together in a way that anyone can look at it, any page can drop open, and they can say, Oh, here we go. This is a way in which I can resolve conflict. This is a way in which I can feel more confident. And so the game moved on after those two books. Actually, it was
inspired by you, when you said, you know, these books, you should have helped me to launch myself. And that was such a wonderful thing to do. But what it led me to realize is that I used to get a lot, I started to get a lot more feedback from people saying, look, we love this. Can you focus next time on this? And there was already the assumption that I was going to write another book. And I said, Oh, okay, I guess I'm writing another book. And so two things came up, actually, one of them actually was a product of, we could say this time, and I had a couple of followers on Instagram, who are deeply disappointed that they couldn't go on holiday. And as you remember, as we all know, Hutch
was a restricted affair. And this has only happened perhaps four or five times in living memory. So what I did was then I asked my model scholarship at the time around 3000 3000 people look, can you tell me what if you've been on hurt you if you intend to go? What was it? Like? What were the events that made you feel inspired? How was How did it feel for you? I'm not talking about, you know, whether you did this item of worship, or that I'm not an authority on those things. But I want you to, I want to convey a sense of how special did it feel? And when did you get that sense that, you know, I feel Hold on, I feel like I've completed my religion. And so I got hundreds of replies. And
I thought, you know, I got to put this in terms of a story. So I conceived of a story and I named the protagonist zaev. Actually, the name was was was inspired by the prophet story. As you well know, the prophet had a son called Zaid was an adopted son. And so I started off with a story about zayde and adopted son was living in a town and he needs to go back on Hajj. And the story was that he had actually been adopted in Makkah, by a family because there was a disaster on 130 40 years ago, and he lost his mother. And this family that adopted him learned many lessons from having an adoptive child because Allah through them, taught them many things that they would never have known
had they not adopted someone. And if you speak to adoptive parents, you will hear that you know that, you know, Allah has graced us with this, and you've learned this, and we've learned that. And then conversely, Zed then goes back to her with a view of well, what what will Hutch Teach me as an adult, and he learns many lessons along the way. So in a way, it's sort of it's not an instruction on wellness, it's actually just a lovely collection of sort of insights. And an inspiration is which helps someone to understand the story. Amazing.
Amazing, I just saw a comment now asking for advice on intrusive thoughts and OCD. Maybe we could give them a moment if you could shed a little bit of light on that matter, inshallah. Yeah, of course, of course. So, I looked at this, in fact, this was one of the questions that popped up fairly frequently. So I thought, well, I can do this in a couple of ways.
And I addressed it in a video series, you know, that the intrusive intrusive thoughts, also known as what was sometimes referred to as lossless. And I looked at the research literature, and I looked at my own clinical experience, and, you know, there is no conflict between how Islam perceives it because Islam perceives it in a couple of ways. That Okay, you know, shaytan might be whispering to you. How do you respond to that? And actually, in in a biological way, we say we get these sort of voices
which seemed disembodied, they're not quite us, but we can't help but feel that we need to listen to them. And we, we hate it. And so that is the experience, you know, you feel tempted, but then you keep having to repeat something. Because if you don't repeat it, you feel something might go wrong. And people get horribly, horribly trapped. And it's a very, very disabling condition handler. But you know what, science has made some tremendous progress. And over the last 20 years, we've gone from an 80% failure rate to a 90% cure rate. And there are some very straightforward ways in which we can we can get around that. So I made a video series about particularly focusing on Islamic
issues in Westworld, when people feel like, Oh, my Zoo hasn't been done, because I didn't watch this properly, or my Salah is broken, because I didn't quite do this and that properly? Or is Allah punishing me? Because I haven't, you know, stuff, which I'm sure you've come across. So where can we find the Where can we find these videos? Well, I've put it up on my YouTube channel, which I've been growing slowly. And in fact, it was at your behest, that I started to make these videos. And a lot of people have found it useful. I haven't, I haven't gone so far as to say that those videos are a cure not far from it. Because you know, there's no substitute for seeing a professional. However,
when you gain knowledge, you can feel a great deal of comfort from that knowledge. And people say, Well, how come just knowledge can help me and I use the analogy that, okay, if you came to me and said, Hey, Doctor, please. My house is very, very, you know, I feel feverish all the time, what's wrong with me? And then I check you out? And I say, Okay, let me just go and see. And I come back and I say, actually, there's nothing wrong with you, it turns out your house is on fire, then the immediately the person says, Okay, I know what to do. I don't need to give you any more instruction. So if I say, Well, actually, the worst was is coming from here. And you don't need to worry about it
in this way. And if you think about it in this way, and the cure rates are like this, then people do feel they feel hope. Because they feel okay, the cure rate has improved, they feel understood, because they don't feel alone. And they can also begin to prepare to get treated, and they know what to ask for. When they go to see a doctor. They say, you know, they don't feel so conflicted, saying, you know, I will I feel ashamed? Or will this non Muslim doctor understand what it means to, you know, for me to feel like my wufu isn't complete. And so that feedback has been quite helpful. And so leading on from that, I, actually, that leads me to this final book, which is the strong mind.
You know, today today, I received messages in particular from people who said they have really benefited from your videos and your books. And it's amazing how just we were scheduled to actually have this live and the candlelight, it materialized. So, you know, just moving on from that. Can you tell us a little bit about Thoreau what will help because, you know, the title of that book is so powerful. Thoreau is referring to the, the wealth, you know, the the wealth of the heart. So
it's, I'm sure that what's discussed in the book in a nutshell, if you can explain it to us, because many people say they've benefited tremendously. And I'd rather leave it to the author to tell us what exactly he has tackled in this book. And my brothers and sisters, I would advise anyone going through mental health issues as a Muslim, to actually invest in the books of Dr. tk Harris, and subscribe to his YouTube channel, which is also under Dr. tk Harris. And I promise you, many people have actually reviewed to say that you have certainly benefited from these books. So speak a little bit about thermochemical, please, yes, thank you very much. Well, in fact, you will remember that I
first had a discussion with yourself, you know, how should I? What kind of my Arabic isn't so strong? And I asked, you know, there's different words for wealth. But what is that Inner Wealth? And you told me, you know, third wise is the word so I read, okay. And in my model of the Muslim mind, and indeed, in many Islamic psychological models of the Muslim mind, your culture is your higher consciousness, your, your sense of who you are your completeness as a human being. And so I thought, this term makes sense, the wealth of the mind is essentially a symbol of your, your strength. And the question came up to me, Well, can someone increase the strength of their mind?
There are many,
I guess, charlatans out there who will say, you know, I can make your IQ higher, or I can fix this or I can fake and there's lots of false promises. So I want you to look at Well, what is the science saying about how you can improve your well being what can you do and with specifically
With respect to a thing that a lot of followers asked me now, the main issues that a lot of us are facing these days, especially with COVID, and with is anxiety and stress, can you drill down on those issues doctor? And can you give us something, which will give us 101 Islamic ways to just nail this issue down so that by the time we finished with this, we have put it there is no way for this anxiety or stress to go? And I said, Yes. So I set about doing it. And unlike the other books, this one is very, very interactive. So you will read a typical chapter, but then immediately following the chapter, there will be a place for you to it will lead you through questions, you put your
answers down. And then based on those answers will say right, so you answer this, what do you think this means in this situation? What do you think this means in this? And now read this Hadith, apply this hadith to your problem? What do you think? And so basically, it's it's adopting, I guess, scientifically a number of ways, including cognitive behavioral therapy and various other technical words, which I don't need to bore you maybe it just helps you through. And I know that it's helpful, because I know people who've done it. And sometimes within a few minutes ago, why didn't I ask myself this question? You know, it's so and they feel dumb. And I go, well, you're not an expert.
And it's a bit like asking a surgeon, you know, why didn't I cut out the cancer in my heart? surgeons you can't cut up you can say the same way, an expert, or sometimes a Mufti will tell you simple things, which you would have thought yourself, but you didn't quite think of it in this way or that way. And so there, I hope, makes the book.
Can you give us a word or two about the anxiety that people are facing at the moment with so much uncertainty? How best would you say we can deal with it in a balanced way? He indeed did. Well, you know, we, everybody has got their own issues to face, you do? I do. And there are people out there who are hanging on to their jobs, and there are people out there who have not got their jobs, but there are people out there who have been stuck at home, and their relationships have worsened, because perhaps things were hanging by a thread. But now that I'm sitting here with my brother or my father, I'm arguing with him more, because we're both stressed. How do we deal with these things?
And how, what is it that I can do? If I'm facing a line, I go, look, please, Allah will help me out through this, you know, there must be some better way for me to just be bring out my strengths, as is, like we were telling, saying in the beginning, what is it that I can do to bring out my finest sides. So essentially, what I've done is, what I would advise someone is, I would flip things on their head to begin with and say, okay, realize that you are valuable to begin with, do not come to anyone with the sense that you are incomplete or invaluable or unworthy, because that would be mistreating a creature of Allah, Allah has loved you and valued you, you don't have the right to say
I'm not valuable. Allah himself says you're valuable. So first of all, elevate yourself to a level which allows you, then you get a sense of power. Because then you say, Well, how do I treat this creature of Allah who happens to be me? I say, well treat yourself with kindness. If somebody is going,
you sound like a scholar. And this is one thing that I love about you is that, you know, normally, it's difficult to find someone who has that that enough knowledge of the dean yet is such a professional
in your field that actually marries the two. And this is why we say Look, when you realize the value Allah has given you all ready, you would actually be empowered to begin with. So Alhamdulillah Yes, you can carry on Sorry to interrupt. No, that that's perfect. Thank you for checking me. And in fact, that therein lies the beginning of so many people's recovery. And in fact, many people then say, ah, actually, that has been the problem all along. Because once you release somebody's ability to believe in themselves, as much as Allah believes in them, then it's as if there's a lock, a gate is unleashed, and they go, Well, actually, that means I must be quite clever. That means I'm not an
idiot for worrying about this, that means my brain has run away. That means I can look at the solutions in in a far more sort of neutral way. Yes, this is a problem. And I wasn't done for falling into it. It affects 30% of people. This is what this doctor says, anxiety. 30 40% of people suffer anxiety. So I'm not alone. And it's not a punishment, because the law says, you know, you don't know when I'm punishing you. You might be getting a difficulty because I love you and I want you to come closer. So let's not over interpret what the law says.
Let's just deal with what we got in front of us. And then when when you have that sense of calm around you, there are very few things that can get in your way. There are very few things. So it really depends on what an individual faces. And partly, that's why I made the book interactive, I thought, look, I have a duty to the homeowner, because as you know, I've left my clinical work, and I've made most of my focus now, my mission is to help as many Muslims as possible. And ideally, if I can make enough just turnover from the books, then all of my future stuff will be free of charge that's
already encouraged the viewers and a lot of those who are who I reached out to, to follow Dr. tk Harris, and inshallah, it will be extremely beneficial, you know, just quickly asking a question, What are the symptoms of things? How do you know that you're struggling with anxiety? What are the symptoms? Yeah, well, certainly, you know, anxiety, we can say his worries or stress. And so we can divide it into a number of,
I guess, domains. And the first one is, well, what is? How do you know when something is just worry?
Normal worry? Or how do you know that it's becoming an issue? And it's a fine line. But broadly speaking, if something is occupying your head, and it keeps coming back and you'd like to, you would like to dismiss it from your mind? But you can't, then it's an issue, isn't it? Because you and I might worry, I might worry that oh, you know, my plant is dying? How can I revive my plant, but it isn't preoccupying? Me I only think about it when I look at the poor plant. And I'm looking at you know, between you and I, hopefully I haven't got a green fingers. Many a plant has been murdered at my poor hands. But it's not something that I suffer with. But then there might be a gardener, who
looks at his plants, and he's feeling desperately sad, because he's, he's lost the ability to revive them, or he's over watering or whatever. And to him, it's a very big issue. So it's subjective, it depends on what the person thinks is important. And it's, it's, it's quantitative as in, if it finds they find it dominates them, then then we know that there's an issue, and then we look at the the manifestations of it in a physical way, then it becomes more like medicine, I explained that look, you know, the mood is very closely connected to the idea of our spirits. And that is actually very, very, very closely connected. Islam tells us and even biology tells us that that is part of our
physical being. So if you find yourself always jittery, always sweaty, or if you're, you find yourself breathing in a shallow way, you get chest pains, all of these things are signs of an unsettled emotional state. And as a result, you might feel that going on, especially if it's new to you, you might feel uncomfortable in situations which you were perfectly comfortable in before, you might notice changes that you're eating a lot more or eating a lot less, or that it's erratic. And you might find it difficult to do certain things, especially fine motor things like writing or whatever, you might just find yourself a little bit too jittery. Well, those are clues your body is
telling you, Hey, you know, I'm not so happy here. So take stock of those things. And whatever you do, don't feel alarmed by them. Because actually, they are the alarm. What I say is actually when you are feeling jittery. Think of your body as an alarm system, your emotions are saying, hey, please, please, please. So you don't have to say oh my god, nobody comes to the policeman goes, please, I hate my house. I've got an alarm system, right? No, you say my alarm system is going off. So listen to your body and go okay, right? What can I do? What are the issues, and then you might need to find somebody who can assist you, you might want to talk to your brother, your your wife,
your friend, you know, you don't need to always seek a professional. You might go online and find some helpful pages, you might find that the solace in Islam, but there are certain things that I think most people can still can face with the help of Islam and some broad psychological advice. Firstly, secondly, law, you know, and then say Bismillah, and then look at your issue in a calm way. seek some help. I guess I'm saying things broadly, because it is a very broad bit of advice I'd give and one thing doesn't fit, everyone, but I hope that sort of without being too vague. That gives you an idea. Yes, yes. You know, speaking about finding things that would give you comfort. A lot of
young people tend to intoxicants, you know, alcohol, drugs and so on. And they do find they do claim to find some form of a way out. But unfortunately, that is not only short lived, but it's it's not the case. You know,
Maybe you could shed a little bit of light about, you know, what, what harm or what what you would say would be advice to those who turn to intoxicants and drugs and other habits. Some people even turned to pornography and perhaps a few other things. So what would you say? Well, it's a it's a, it's a very endemic problem. And I remember speaking to a young, a young speaker, Islamic speaker who was from Cape Town, and he was telling me, I remember being in Cape Town that I know there's a significant Muslim population there. But they are affected by these issues in in quite a significant way. And indeed, you know, although it is broadly, perhaps in number terms, less than non Muslims,
Muslims still have this issue. And we feel doubly ashamed because not only is it harmful, but it's Haram. So a person would, you can understand is even more reluctant to bring it up. And that makes them feel worse. So how would I approach this? Well, the first thing I would say is, if somebody feels stuck into it, you need to take away the self blame. And you need to take away the sense that you are now the author in your life, allow yourself to admit I'm stuck. And also, rather than empowering yourself, I would advise go the other way. Don't feel as if I've a power this actually admit I don't have power over this. Because biologically, we know and why? Because Allah tells us,
Allah tells us, you know, these things is good in this bed. So we understand why if somebody feels stressed, the Sahabi may feel felt stressed back in the day, and they may have drank some wine. And just as some guy might drink some wine when he comes home, he feels a temporary relief, however, then Allah goes on to say, you know, but overall, this is not going to work out for you. And what do we see? Yes, I guess addicted.
Because whatever relief they get, ie the price they pay is that the mood or anxiety becomes much worse. And then they believe that they've got something called willpower and willpower is the most deceptive thing on earth, I would say to anyone who thinks willpower can fix it. No, this thing is more powerful than your conscious mind. Admit that you don't have strength over it and admit that there aren't any things that you can necessarily do that are going to stop you at the moment. So if you're sitting by the computer, and you're tempted to go and look at pornography, or if you're sitting next to the wine cabinet, or whatever you've got and you're tempted to drink, then you will
go back to those things because you don't have that power. So one of the first things you must do is quite simple. Cut off the source, get as far away as you can from any of those temptations. If you say, Well, actually, how can I on my phone? Because the you know, these things are everyone my phone, I can gamble on my phone, I can look at this and that, well, you don't need a smartphone. If you're determined now. Get rid of your smartphone and go back to you know, when you
get an old knock. So wouldn't that Sorry, sorry to interrupt, wouldn't that actually go back to the willpower? Like, wouldn't? Wouldn't you need some form of willpower to be able to execute some of these solutions? Well, I suppose what you know what I'm looking for what I would call that is I would call that readings, when you are fed up enough for something. And when you've noticed that it has had enough of an impact on you on your life, your mental state, then you still don't have willpower, but you have readiness, your willpower I conceive of as something that makes you think you can fight something that in front it that is in front of you the temptation itself. Never assume
you have that what you actually have to do is more tactical, and go actually what I'm going to try to avoid being in here that thing to begin with, so I will so so basically, I'm trying to think of evidence from the forearm to backup what you're saying. And I think like what Allah says, what, Xena, you know, don't even come close to center, which is fornication or adultery, don't even come close to it, which means don't allow it to, to come in front of you. And I suppose that's why Allah says lower your gaze. So before you actually bring something in front of you and you may succumb to the temptation, you actually need to stay away from it in totality. You know, that's the evidence
that I would think is closest to what you're saying. But that having been said, also, I realized that many people like you said, when you have to be fed up of something, in order to, to realize that, you know, you, you need help, or you have to put this thing aside, many people for example, when they're addicted to something, they would come to someone like myself and possibly yourself too. And they would say, you know, I'm fed up of this, it's, you know, I'm addicted to this thing here and it's really eating
me up, and I need help. So when they say they need that help, that's when they can be helped. If they're serious about it in a much greater way than they would if they were not serious about it with some experts, actually saying, if you're not serious about wanting to help, you're never going to be able to be helped. I think that's precisely it. In fact, it ties in very well to a large description of how we are on this earth. Ultimately, unless you've got some sort of illness like psychosis, where you've literally lost your mind, it's uncommon and unhealthy, you know, it doesn't happen with addiction, you still have your mind, however, what you have lost is your ability to, to
respond properly to temptation. So you then have to adopt a be closer to the truth. willpower, you cannot fight the feelings and temptations from your, from your nuts that are driving you all the whisperings from Shakedown saying, you know, this will make you feel better. And I can totally sympathize. You know, there may be a drinker Who says you don't understand, I used to run a business when my son died, then my wife had an affair and I lost everything, can you understand how I, I found a little bit of comfort in some drinks? And I will say, you know, what, if Allah put me in that situation, now, Isabella, maybe I would have done the same because I can understand how
difficulties can really take over someone's life, I sympathize, I empathize. However, what I will say to you this year, it is still your responsibility to handle this, nobody can make you do it, nobody can make you do it, you know, I suppose I suppose you're not at all negating the, the the prohibition within regulation of these things, but it's just how to be able to cope and, and help people out of it. And look, look at the matter, that there is reason why they do it, mostly, they've been driven to it by something. And I think strengthening the nuts is also extremely important to be able to empower the nuts, when you become absolutely content with a lot, you know, you develop a
relationship with him today. Today, I was saying to myself, you know,
I would not like to miss a single salad. Because, you know, imagine Allah has given us everything we have, yes, there are things we will we none of us are going to have a perfect life. But I always do Allah, I would feel so, so
incomplete if I if I had to just miss a Salah without a better of an eyelid. And I'm thinking to myself, so Allah, I, you know, I wouldn't stop anything and everything in Sharla, to be able to just fulfill my duty, that requires a lot of, you know,
focus, you know, if you're not focused on you, and you don't want to do that, you're never gonna be able to do it. But when you want to do it, and it's your heart, you develop that link with Allah, Allah says, Allah, I translated it as develop the best relationship with Allah, then I feel that's very, very empowering for a person like me.
Yes, yes. Well, I think I remember talking to I think it must have been yourself or was it another alum, about the power of salah and actually, now that we mentioned addiction, I did a little series on the the real value of salah and I did some three or four videos called it the 10 days of amazing Salah. And I think of those people who really feel they feel empty without Salaam, I think of it as a positive addiction. Why? Because if you really think about it, Salah is a great gift. And if we really do it the way in which we can reach the highest heights of it, then it is a process where it's not an obligation, a lie, saying, comment, I'm giving you free rein to come and see me five
times a day. Now, how many other gods do that? Right? I love talking to you. And when you come to see me, I will make everything disappear five times a day. So when you say no, when you say how many other gods do that, I mean, we just believe there's one God and that's it the maker, the creator, the nourish of the church. But I think what you actually mean is, you know, with the religions preach the false deities, or whatever else it may be, they still don't tell you about coming in connecting with those false deities five times a day. So the one maker is the one who actually says, Listen, connect with me by cheque. In fact, that's a very interesting point. Because although I
mean, you know, you worded it in your own way. But what I get from that is, you know, the true worship of the true creator, the one and only Allah, he actually tells you, you know, I want to connection throughout the day with me, whereas when it comes to the false deities, and anyone else
Everything besides Allah subhanho wa Taala, even though they are false, there is never a clause within their own structures to say that connect with me throughout the day in this particular way. Amazing, amazing. Now, you know, I think that's quite right. What I meant, I guess was you're quite right in pointing it out, I suppose what we're looking at is, is religious practice. Now, you might say, actually, if we look at other the trends in society, you know, they are there they are people who enjoy certain things. And the western Western world has become sort of slightly enamored with the idea of meditation and retreat and all this kind of stuff. When actually, in reality, Islam and
Salah is actually a deep and wonderful type of meditation, it is an ability to connect to a lot to cut out the outside world. And we go through certain motions, we recite certain repeated things. By the end of that we are sitting and we are putting our heads on the ground, can we not see how symbolically powerful this process is? It is not just a mechanical act, it is a process where we are saying I want to build a path, and we literally have a path in front of us that faces MCI itself. How can we then say that it's just a mechanical thing? It is entirely a process of cleansing your heart, it is entirely you know, you know, coming from a medical expert, like I say, this, the reason
why I wanted to speak to you today is just to hear it from a medical perspective, because I've never been to a doctor, and the doctor tells me do you pray, you know, you have a connection with your maker, you know, so to hear this is very, very refreshing. And what I like about what you just said, Now, a point that's just stuck in my head, when you said that, if you feel the emptiness of not fulfilling Salah, it's actually a good thing, because, and I guess in my own wording, it would be really beautiful, because then it would lead you towards the fulfilling, fulfilling feeling that you won't get when you fulfill the Salah. Amazing, just like I love him for that. No, no, that's exactly
what I mean. And in fact, there is hope for those who are addicted. Because if we look at the genetics and the science, there is evidence that those people who become more addicted to things, there is a proneness that they have. So supposing they went and bet on a horse race now Isabella, but they bet whatever it is $5. And if their horse wins compared to you and I, their brain gives them a bigger reward compared to you and I, therefore they are more likely to become addicted, because that's just their brain is wired. However, the flip side of that is, if they fall into a virtuous addiction, for example, if they turn to Allah and Salah, they will feel the same level of
craving that you feel they will feel addicted to positive things. Right. So Allah says everything comes into, yes, you might suffer in this way. But that same strengths that makes you feel addicted to drugs, when you turn to Salah, you will become more pious than the next person because of the same genes. Right? Amazing. You know, I It reminds me of something my father used to tell me when I was younger, we used to have a crazy Schiff, who had a newspaper, and he used to attack everyone, I think he's still there. And he still does the same thing. So my father used to say, when I used to get a little bit upset, and perhaps say, Look at this guy, he's crazy. My father says he is
utilizing all his energies in such a negative way. If you were to make sure that he uses the same energies in a positive way, this man can change the whole world. And I would think to myself, wow, look at how my father's thinking and today I'm hearing it from you. It brings me back to what he used to say I still believe the same crazy guy who only uses his energy, his mind his pain, his resources to attacking swear and cold people bad names, if he can use the same energies, resources and whatever else he has, for a positive thing to bring them together and to educate them in a positive way. He can change the world so So what you're saying is when someone is addicted to
something bad, if you can shift the same addiction to something good, you're going to get an amazing results.
For those who are addicts, after all, when Allah subhanho wa Taala get us addicted to the right things and eradicate those addictions that are to the wrong things. Me. Indeed, I mean, I mean, that's exactly what I mean. And it was one of these things as
for your time, this session, although we've we've run out of the dedicated time we overshot it but we need to get back together again. Dr. tk Harris It was so lovely to have you with me on this beautiful, beautiful life. instead. I'm going to be posting this on YouTube insha Allah, Allah permits, and I want to tell you, we we really have
Appreciate not just myself, a lot of the viewers out there a lot of those who have benefited from your work. And I asked a lot to grant you strength and to take you further from strength to highest strength and greatest strength to be able to help and empower a lot of us. And like I say, it's very refreshing. And we should get together again, to discuss more of these issues. My brothers and sisters, if you have issues, Dr. tk Harris, you can message him a private message on Instagram. Or you can leave a message for him on YouTube as well and perhaps get hold of him. In various other ways the book is available on Amazon, you can have a soft copy or a hard copy. I'm sure it's
available on other platforms, maybe Dr. You can actually tell us where else these books can actually be found. Yeah, so underneath my YouTube videos, I left a little link, I realized that Amazon doesn't penetrate the whole world. So I went ahead and created an Etsy account where you can then download the audiobooks. And certainly the latest book Serato, you can get a direct PDF, my only hope is just to be able to make it available. And as a result, I think Alhamdulilah paid off because people are saying yes, I'm able to get all of this and that but also, if you can't afford anything, hang on, look at the videos, and inshallah in a year or two, I'll be launching an app and my aim
sincerely is to make all of this stuff free. Because everybody will be empowered. So yeah, Amazon, find me on Instagram, look at the YouTube videos, click on the links underneath. And you should be able to find anything and if you're struggling, just drop me a line. I remain humble and I spend every day as much as I can trying to answer messages. And I'll do my best with with anyone who gets in touch.
Thank you so much for joining us and inshallah We hope to see you again on Santa Monica
olalekan salaam Allah bless you for your platform of the
so my brothers and sisters that was the one and only Dr. tk Harris he joined us this evening, and it handled it was so good and so beneficial. I see I saw many of your comments and those that are connected to the subject inshallah we'll try to make a note of them and respond to them in the future. I pinned one comment by maleeha that says where can i where can one get these books well in YouTube in Dr. tk Harris's
description of the videos, he has put a link so inshallah you can get it online Amazon as well as a few other places. But I cannot think of everyone i'm going to post this on Instagram igtv insha Allah as well as
YouTube Pinilla sukhram until we meet again and I will be joining you guys for a live session to speak to a few of you by the will of Allah as well. My family here on Instagram have to make official very, very soon perhaps just after this, so look out for that. A salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.