Mufti Menk – How to Correct Others – Did You Know

Mufti Menk
AI: Summary © The speakers discuss the importance of acknowledging and embracing small acts of small behavior to avoid negative consequences. They emphasize the need for knowing and giving importance to oneself, communication, and small small behavior. The speakers stress the importance of finding the right approach to difficult situations and avoiding negative consequences. They also emphasize the need to be mindful of others' opinions and practice hard to handle difficult situations. The importance of discipline and avoiding overwhelming feelings is emphasized.
AI: Transcript ©
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salary below Medicare to welcome to another episode of deep Do you know I am your host, Nasser shuraim of the movement Alhamdulillah Today we're going to be having a very interesting topic. We're just talking about the perfective ways of correcting others and this is a very important topic, but before we get to know what we really need to know and our guest as you all know is not all that is my

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topic. Before we get to know what we really need to know. Our guest as you all know, he is not

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Alan combs La La Mashallah.

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Good to see you Javi always

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good to see you and all the viewers and everyone who will be watching this later inshallah. Alhamdulillah you know, how has been the lockdown you look fresher than usual Masha Allah, Pamela world when I'm speaking to you, brother shuraim I have to feel the freshness of Nigeria Mashallah.

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Alhamdulillah and I'm glad you know, during the COVID-19 you've got to rest at home with your family. And I've seen done a lot of activities with your car, washing cars going in rural areas, may Allah bless it and make it easy for your hubby. I mean, I mean, we have a trip early morning inshallah, we are going to be visiting some of the less privileged way May Allah make it easy. I mean, Habibi. So Sherif, you know, our topic is really important. And I feel very passionate about this topic, because we know we, we live in an age where judging people has become the norm. And criticizing people for their sin has become like a huge pastime. And what I got to realize about

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correcting people is that most people are correct, others do it because they want to feel better not because they want to make the other person feel better. And I think this goes against the concept of an naseeha and this is to purify, you know, to purify, so a person to refine an individual. So I think it goes against the true nature of naseeha of advice and Subhanallah that is a lot more it was sent to them and said I do not see ha Devo Legion is as you know, the deen is a is of sincere, what they call it sincere advice and like service. So she's gonna our topic is the prophetic ways of advising people when they make a mistake. So tell me, what are some of the measures used by the best

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man of conduct? Mohammed Salah laquan, equal center

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below 100 in LA salatu salam ala rasulillah Allah, I mean, what a beautiful topic. And I was very, very happy. You know, when we say prophetic primarily, we speak about the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu sallam, but it's also to do with the other prophets that is full of the method that was used by those profits, all of them with the people they were sent to. Now, what we need to know before we even get into this whole discussion, something you mentioned very interestingly was how people judge others I while I agree that yes, we do have a problem of people who issue very judging comments, which are personalized attacks, more than anything else. But at the same time, we have to

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strike the balance, to be able to say, there are others who actually consider genuine advice as a judgmental statement, and then they brush it off. What we need is something in between the two, and something that is not judgmental on one hand, and at the same time, it gives the good advice, we should not kick it out, you know, when we hear that good advice and call it judgmental simply because it came and it bites our conscience because we were wrong, or we needed a little bit of help. So if we look at us, we are the creatures of Allah. We believe that what we have is the truth. It is Allah Allah, Allah rasuluh. You know, it is derived from Revelation, what Allah taught us

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through Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. We have it primarily none of us are perfect. The perfection was meant to be of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam from amongst us mankind. He was the greatest and the highest of all creation, in fact, and he knew that, just like Musa alayhis salam you

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was a prophet, just like Sulayman alayhis salaam knew he was they all knew who they were, together with knowing exactly who they were. They did not address people in a way that made them turn away from the team. Rather, it gave them a clear message in a beautifully worded way and brought them closer to Allah in most cases, sometimes because of arrogance. It didn't. I cite one quick example. At the time, the Pharaoh was the worst of the lot. In fact, we have hardly ever seen a person in history similar to the pharaoh in every way. Although the prophets are not certain compares Abuja as being the fairground, or the Pharaoh of the oma. But still, the man used to say, an Boko mole,

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I am your Lord, the high, the Most High. He used to say that to his people, and to everyone else. And at one stage, he actually says And Allah describes it. What God I

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mean, Allah in ye remember when the pharaoh told his people, oh my people, do you know any God, for you any deity for you to worship besides me? stavroula that's how 40 he was. That's how a strange he was. He was not just a missionary, he installed himself as a deity, which is worse than being simple, well, emotionally, which is bad enough. So Allah says to Prophet Musa alayhis salam, and his brother Harun, Allah says something amazing to them, which was recorded in the Quran revealed to Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam sent to us in order for us to learn a powerful, powerful lesson. Listen to what Allah says to these two were the best of the lot at the time Buddha and Harun Allah EMA

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Asana may be upon them, these two were the best of the time, Allah sent them to the worst of the time. And Allah says fakuma

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go to this man. Both of you speak soft words in a human way, perhaps not a level yet.

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Oh, we actually might take heed he might remember, you know, it might serve as a reminder, perhaps talk nicely, they must never have the excuse of the way you spoke to them. In order to go astray. People say, I know it's the truth. But I don't want to follow it because of the way you spoke to me. You know, someone asked you for a favor, and you talk to them. If they spoke to you asking for the favor in a nice soft way. Even if it was slight inconvenience, you might just do it for them. But if they spoke to you in a harsh way, even if it was easy for you, you would not do it. So in order that the excuse of disobedience is not coming from the methodology. Allah tells Moosa and how both of you

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who speak to him tell him Colin lajunen speech which is soft, soft, you know, soft speech, that perhaps he might remember and take he yet Allah knew that he was never going to come across Allah, Allah knowledges there. So when imagine how Allah is training us to speak to people, when Allah knows for a fact, I want you to go and I know he's not going to listen to you, but I'm not going to tell you that for you. You don't know whether he's going to listen or not my knowledge, I know he's never going to come, we're going to drown him, he's going to be punished etc, but you do your job because the reward is in the balluff. You know, Allah tells the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa

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sallam in LA.

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It is not upon you except to deliver the message Marilla Sunni,

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will be Allah says it is not for the messenger except to clearly, you know,

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convey the message or deliver the goods. Now, that clarity does not mean hard and harsh. I've given you an example of Musa alayhis salam. I can give you so many examples. Allah mentions the stories of the previous prophets in order for us to learn methodology of data. If it was not relevant, it would not have been in the Quran. So I've given you the example of the Pharaoh. Let's look at Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Allah subhanho wa Taala says and this is one of my favorite verses in dharwad. Allah says

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It is because of the mercy of Allah subhanho wa Taala it is because Allah has had mercy on you that you are lenient towards them, who is them, those around the prophets, Allah Allah. You know they used to be mushy kin of Quraysh they used to be a straight they came to the deen of Allah. Why Allah says it is because of the Rama. It is because of the mercy that Allah has made you lenient towards them, the way you speak to them the way you talk to them. The prophets I seldom used to speak to Abuja and Anna signo, chalet and Abu sufian and the others, you know, some of them accepted some of them did not accept, but he number one, he had a genuine feeling towards everyone. When Musa alayhis

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salaam went to our own, he felt in his heart that the help of Allah is with me, I will deliver the message and I will genuinely try. The guidance is in the hands of Allah, but the trial is in my hands for him.

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Allah says to Muhammad wa Salaam, Your duty is to convey we will do the accounts, what is the account, those who conveyed get a reward, those who did not listen, they will actually pay a price and those who took eat and changed, they will earn a reward and so on. So remember, the duty is to fulfill in the most beautiful way Allah says wonderful to have you were harsh. If you were harsh, harsh in your approach harsh in the way you spoke, honey will come with a hard heart If you did not care for these people. If you did not feel genuine before them. Allah says

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Langford, boomin Holika they would have dispersed from amongst from around you, they would not want to listen to you today. We can say the same thing but every one of us has a different approach. I agree the message may be one. We all have to code towards worshiping Allah alone. Take a careful look at the words of

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ALLAH says Allah subhanho wa Taala tells us about all the messages what Allah adding.

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That Allah

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Allah in the wording is not complicated. It is very simple. Add Allah subhanho wa Taala sent them good. Allah says, he told the people that you have none worthy of worship besides Allah, what Allah

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Allah told me

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in my you saw the head is

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sinking to the moon, the same word tells him Allah tells us that he told his people that obviously this was an instruction from Allah, he told his people

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you have none worthy of worship besides Allah besides him like that what Allah

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Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, you notice the same terminology, what was common it simplicity, very simple, very respectful, very to the point easily understood, not complicated. This is why when it comes to methodology in our day, there are different approaches. Some people like to look at the Quran and the Sunnah and take it straight to say, let's keep it simple. Let's keep it nice, direct. We don't want to hide the message, but at the same time, we don't want to insult people while giving them the message. You know, today we have a problem of personal insults. People think that they are going to convey the message by personally insulting someone, defaming them, shaming them, etc, etc.

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We have to beautify the methodology a lie. You know when Allah tells Mohammed Salah to speak to the disbelievers, the disbelievers. Hello Nikita the people of the book The Jews, the Christians, Allah Allahu Allah says, go under ala Sabi nila bankability committee

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has an anti white

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sun. Allah says when you are calling towards the path of Europe, the Sabine belongs to Allah the past does not belong to me or to you It belongs to Allah but he allows us to work on it. May Allah grant us that guidance and keep us steadfast. But Allah says when towards that path of Allah. They must

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To be wisdom, think about it. So knowledge is a precondition, but wisdom is a means. Remember that because in the one verse Allah Allah subhana wa Taala tells us and it is the wording that Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was asked to use and he used it will have a sabini.

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Ronnie was super

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geeky, say all Mohamed Salah Salem, this is my path, what is my path, the path of calling towards Allah with knowledge. So knowledge is a prerequisite, the path of calling towards Allah with knowledge, right? So say it is my path, have you disability?

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I call towards Allah with knowledge, who calls towards Allah, Allah, wa, Manitoba and me, myself and all those who follow me. So this means every single one of us should call towards the amount of goodness that we have knowledge about, you have, you know, people say, Well, I'm not a scholar, how can I do this? Well, you can call towards Allah, it's your duty, but the level of calling will differ from person to person, don't go into territory, you don't understand, or you don't have knowledge about leaving for others. Sometimes you will ask me a question. I will tell you how maybe I don't know, offhand. I mean, we might have learned things, but maybe we forget, we might not have

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learned certain things. So it is actually part of knowledge to say that I don't know, because your answer is not wrong. If you ask me a question that, you know, a complete?

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I don't know that's a correct answer. Technically, maybe I didn't tell you what you wanted, but I didn't give you the wrong answer. So it's amazing how Ally's telling us that according to the knowledge that you have, every one of us must call towards Allah, whether it is your family, whether it is the others, Allah has given you different platforms, some people are have greater exposure, some people will meet others whom some others might not meet. So, whatever you have, you give it in the most beautiful way. So to have the knowledge is a prerequisite but if we go back to the other verse that speaks about Hickman, Allah says, When you call towards Allah, so the knowledge part of

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it has already been dealt with. You need that level of knowledge. But Allah says bill Hickman, you must call with wisdom. How do you get wisdom

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Subhana Allah, how we will achieve wisdom is we will have to, we will have to learn methodology from the sooner from the Quran, study how the prophets call, look at the professor sanlam Allah speaks about how he used to talk to Abuja and the others and how he spent time in Makkah in Medina, etc. When he called towards Allah, I want to give you one example, Brother shuraim, that makes me cry. It is the example of holiday mindvalley did know Maria,

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the prophet SAW Selim says, you know, Harley was a person who murdered a lot of Muslims, you know, and he caused a lot of harm. He took part in the battles and especially in the Battle of offered a you know, what role he played was detrimental and it resulted in great losses, but the promise of some kid, even for the enemies, Allah said in the bottom as

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a ballerina Kumar, Bain and levena.

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What, what Allah rd, Allah says, Allah is able to create love between you and the one of whom there was enmity with because Allah is able. So there was enmity and also fear was an enemy.

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He was an enemy, the others were enemies, but Allah created love. The Prophet sallallahu Sallam called the brother of harlot while they were in Medina, and he says, What is it with Khalid Where is he? So he was given an answer, and the prophets of Salaam made the dua for him he says yes, to be in love who allow will bring him here and Allah Subhana Allah Look at this. So how many of us when we want to correct people do we start off by making do out for them and for us? At night you cry when you see someone online going astray doing something before you talk to them? Make dua Oh Allah guide me. Where do I get this from? When Allah sins when Allah sends Moosa and Harun to Freetown God

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beshara Helene suddenly were serially Ambani, why

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is any of como county he makes it to Allah shortly suddenly, you know, let my chest become clear. You know what inside whatever I want to say, if it suddenly were simply I'm gonna make my task easy for me and make my tongue clear so that they can understand what I am saying that guidance is in the hands of Allah we pray for the people here the prophets of Salaam, another powerful example. Almighty,

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Allah, he was a feared man he wanted to murder the prophets of asylum. And here is the prophets of Salaam making a draft for him saying, Allah who is Islam and be a happy llama, Oh Allah, strengthen Islam by the acceptance of Islam of one of these two big enemies. So if an enemy comes, it is a big success. You know, who was the two, they were literally two superpowers Abu Jamal had, he considered himself strong and in all fairness, he was configured in Quraysh he was a leader. And the other one was, oh my god, but he was also a leader. So the Prophet says one of these two men, he could have said anyone else he said one of these two men, Oh Allah guide them bring. So he cried about it,

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meaning he made that about, no sooner did you make.

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And here that is, and I'm not going to go into that incident. But on top of the alarm, comes and declares the Shahada to the amazement and astonishment of everyone, it is something really, really worth looking into. So that hikma, you know, the Wisdom

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is something very important will hikma? Well, Modi bottle has an end, you know, the reminder, even if it is a warning, no matter what it is, it needs to be hustling. It needs to be beautiful. It needs to be good. So think of your method of correction. Is it beautiful? Is it good? You know, brother shame. Nowadays, we see people who are Muslim, and they are falling short in practicing, primarily because the environment and the pressures of the peers and sometimes technological advancement causing them to delete Delhi shade pan swaying them this way, that way, the pressures are tremendous. So we have a very difficult task on one hand, we need to make sure we talk to them

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in a way that does not make them go back on the little they have achieved number one. So acknowledge the little that they have come on. I mean, they have a Shahada, you see someone and they, you know, it pains us when someone abandons the hijab, or when when there is a male who is doing something wrong and openly consuming alcohol and intoxicants and promoting it. And yet, he never he did not used to be like that. It pains us indeed. But we should always try and look for the little goodness within the person to start that candle to start the flicker and the flame, you know, we can say, Well, my brother, no matter what they are your brother, they are your brother, you cannot say

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they're not, you know, we are looking at someone or Hello, Andrew Shahada, you know, and at the same time, we are saying, this person needs help. I believe I develop a good relationship with them, develop a relationship, show them you care a little bit, you don't have to insult and abuse and, you know, add salt to injury is going to create a bigger disaster. So, yes, what we should be doing is, in a beautiful way, acknowledge the little that is there. We don't want them to go further. Sometimes the way we talk, we chase them away from the dean such that they think that you know as it is, I'm going to Jana, I'm already in the alpha. Now, what's the point of doing anything? I'd rather

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go But you say no, my sister, Mashallah, may Allah bless you strengthen you give you goodness, rattle out the app from your heart and see the impact that that has on the person, they will realize this person case. And then when you tell him No, I think it's a good idea to look at this and to look at that. It's a good idea to look into this, perhaps you might want to consider this. Perhaps it may, you know, these are software's many software's. Now you find others who don't have that wisdom, or they haven't studied how the methodology of debt when they get angry sometimes with those who are patient, they get angry. You're not supposed to do that. Give them as it is, tell them what

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they're supposed to hear. They need to be fixed. They need to be my brother, if that was you, or your child or your relative or your sibling or your parent. How would you feel Wouldn't you like someone to give them a nice software to say you know what, firstly, I love you for the sake of Allah. What does that

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mean, the goodness that you're doing? I relate to it, this the Salah that you may be performing, even though you might not have got to fight, I know the struggle, I mean, come on, we all do struggle to a certain extent with certain things because we are human beings. So none of us can say, I am perfect, and that's why I can point down at others. So

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I was saying that we have to talk to them in a way that does not discourage them from what they already have. And at the same time, it encourages them to do more. And I also believe that, you know, when you do more good, automatically the bad is decreased. It's a seesaw effect. There was a brother, who was saying, you know, I really I have a problem with *, I find it very difficult to cut it and so on. So there are many ways of dealing with it with one of these brothers. I told him, I said, increase your Salah, and the video soon enough?

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Yes, then you, you should read a page of stuff on one page, or half a page of one hour after Salah. And in the case of Madrid, maybe half an hour after the break. So I said You promised that you're going to do that. He says yes.

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He started doing that. A few weeks later, I told him how is he going? He says I don't have the time for those other things.

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Allah, he increased the bother and he spaced it out nicely. Now I want to read on one hour after Salah, am I going to do evil things? The prophet SAW Selim says, keep yourself in will do. Do you know why it was one of the characteristics of beloved Naropa of the loved one and he used to do to rock out of Salah also keeping yourself in will do because if you are in will do you are conscious of the state that you're in. So if you are looking at something wrong, you quickly look down because you are in a very high condition of Voodoo you know, so and then when you are thinking let me go to this place No, I mean we will do so pain Allah to us. To be a VIP, your heart must be connected to

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the mustard mustard meaning the place of sujood or the houses of Allah both are included in that. So why? Why does Allah give such a high status to the one who's after one Salah is worried about the next one after the next one is worried about the next one? Because if that is the case, your chances of sinning have diminished. They have diminished. After I'm worried about us How can I worry about Xena and alcohol and and intoxicant and gambling when I'm worried about us after I'm worried about Muslim,

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Russia, after Isha, I'm thinking of photo after photo, I'm concerned about both La Ilaha Illa

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Amazing, amazing, Mashallah. So,

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now check, you know, I, I will connect with this. So, so much. And voila, you've said a lot. I think you've exhausted my questions, why I want to go past the future can I write for me like,

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now, one minute, you just give me one minute, there's something I need to finish because I started it. So I was saying hey, come up more important. And the thing is,

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when you are distracting a matter, when you are talking about something do not become abusive. Allah says when discussing you know, Buddha does not necessarily mean an argument, but it is a discussion back and forth, back and forth. You know, they answer you answer they say you say etc, it happens. What is the aim, the aim is to convey the message.

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accent, that which is the best. So, think of the best way that you can talk, I think many of us are lacking in that many of the knowledgeable people, when they lack in the wisdom and the methodology, they waste sometimes the knowledge that they have, because there is a way of projecting it across. Imagine I have a million dollars. But before I can get it to the needy, it's already lost and stolen in the path. Well, it's better to have $1,000 that reaches the recipient than to have a million dollars that goes nowhere. The same applies to knowledge. And this is why we say I remember one of my shifts

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Have you been to LA he used to say that it is not the amount of knowledge that that actually determines your acceptance in the eyes of Allah. But Allah has his own way of determining your acceptance, your genuineness, your your connection with Allah your genuineness towards the people your care and love for those whom you are trying to bring towards Allah, even though they may never turn. So these are just some of the gems that I want to share with you. Now you want to get personal let's get person Bismillah Am I shall I say I'm really excited.

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Because, you know, before, prior before I make sure, you know, yes, I've heard about you and, boy, I didn't listen to your talk that much. I might, I might see a bit of clips here and there Mashallah. And colosse I listened to them, but when I traveled with you, right, you know, the the days we traveled with, Oh, here we go, there we go, here we go there, I was watching you closely, Chef. Because I've traveled with a lot of my shy and for me, what really impacts me is the character, if I want to take knowledge from you is the way you behave even in secret when you when you when you're angry and likes of it. But when Allah whenever we travel together, the way you communicate with

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people, the way you talk to people, the way you behave on your own site, you know, it made me go back again and begin to listen to a lot of your a lot of your talks. Why is that so? Because I feel connected more because now I know who you are. Because you only get to know a person when they travel now, when you traveled other people is when you get to realize that perhaps what they say on the stage is not exactly what is being practiced. And as a young person, I'm just 25 now as a young person, I feel disconnected so much, right? And secondly, there was this time on Instagram when a woman came or a lady came and she was talking a lot on Instagram. And you knew that if you add her

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she was gonna you know, bring out venom, but you added her if it was Michelle, I wouldn't do that. Why? Because I'm scared you know, what I would do is I will block her share, you know, so my question is this chick, is it something you need to learn? Do you need to master this art or existed because the way you control yourself when she was talking By Allah, I don't know if I can do that. But the impact is hard and a lot of people out there will like it was great like I learned so much from it. So chef, did you practice did you learn it or you knew that you had responsibility or you to serve humanity so you got to keep your personal desire aside and see the you pass the message of

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weight or to be passed? You know, my brother, firstly, I must be clear with you I am nowhere near where we are supposed to be. That is very, very clear. We are still working progress and we will remain working progress a day we are we are better day we are still struggling a little bit but Allah He you are right I do try. It must never be material number one. Number two, you must make sure that you give importance to everyone. The young, the old, the rich, the poor, the dark, the light, whoever whatever nationality, you must make sure you truly love, every one feasability that love must be clear, even those who don't like so, it is something that in my case Alhamdulillah I

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have family members who are in the dour for years years I have a father who has been in power for many, many years, we watched the struggles when we were kids, we saw how they spoke to people we saw how they addressed challenging matters. And we were very fortunate to learn a little bit when you see how to address a matter. And over time you start growing you watch you see you read about the Prophet sallallahu Sallam and the the other messengers of Allah and the how Allah gives so much importance to character and conduct that he says the lips of Rasulullah saw send them to a house in

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the bedroom amongst you are those with best character those who are best within their families. You know, your family should be able to say this man is tremendous. He's a beautiful soul exactly as he is outside and even better. If you knew him in reality, you would actually love him more. Now, we are trying our best to get to that way. That Sister, I considered her my own daughter. And I was thinking to myself, you know what? I? I know I can manage this because I don't mind people swearing brother shuraim. I'm going to tell you, no matter who insults me or what they say negative or how they accuse, they tell you you are like this and you are a stray and you are not on the straight

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path and you don't follow the Quran and Sunnah. What? None of that actually disturbs me as an individual more than it saddens me for the particular people or person. Because I know that yes, I'm a human, I need to be corrected, I will be those who want to correct they know the means of correcting those who swipe, they have another agenda or they themselves are astray. So that's your opportunity. I give you an example. When you have a person who's very good at a certain Say for example, and doing something

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I'm trying to think of a good example, right? Say a person is very good at carving wood. So you give them a piece of wood and they cut, you give them another piece of wood. And they come and there are hundreds of people who do it. When you give a very, very sophisticated piece of wood that is not easy to cut, the one who says, okay, bring it I will cover it is the one without a probe, you know what I mean? So, it's like carving, we have a task, I am involved others. And you know, we all have the duet and all of those who call towards Allah, they should be understanding, we compliment each other. I am soft by nature, nature, by nature, I'm not hard, my methodology is soft. It's not a

00:35:43 --> 00:36:26

wrong methodology. If people want a hard methodology, they can get it, it's there. There are my colleagues, some of them are very harsh, my own friends, some of them are really hard. I always appreciate their approach as well. But I do know that there will be a different category of people who will be impacted by them. So I cannot say they are totally wrong. But I can say that approach is is very good for a certain category of people. But my approach is also very good for another category of people, perhaps the general masses, I like to look at people who are struggling in the world, and pat them on the back and give them the reassurance make them smile, and let them tiptoe

00:36:26 --> 00:37:10

one by one towards the goodness by the will of others. So that sister told me Oh, you're a stray and you said this. I didn't say that it was wrong. Number two is something misunderstood. Someone told her something. So I kept on reminding her My dear sister, do you know to this day, I pray for her. I'm very sure one day, wherever she is, she will smile and say that guy was right, actually who I was following where we're either totally wrong or partially wrong, or they had exaggerated something, or they had come to me somehow, because it was getting a little bit heated. But some of the people we never get an opportunity to talk to them. I'm sad, at least that sister I got an

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opportunity to talk to her. So it is a method I thought to myself, I'm not in I'm nowhere near, you know, a scholar. In that sense. We are students of knowledge. And there was the Nabhi of Allah He knew he was in the beat. He knew he was directly assisted by Allah, the prophet being the angel jabril used to come to him. But he was very humble, so humble, the victory of Makkah, he was so looking down at almost his net was almost on the neck of his camera, and he knew that you are the biggest and the greatest and the most elevated and the highest. That didn't really like him at all. It did not even move him to claim I am the one you know, people want to think I'm a big man. Yes,

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listen to me. And so No, not at all. We are zero. The day we are given our books on the right side of the scale is the day we can thank Allah subhanho wa Taala. For now, we are all a work in progress. So when you see people astray, ask yourself, do I care for this person? Yes, you should be number 2am. I going to use a beautiful, soft approach to try and get to them. Yes, I will. If that is the case, good news to you use a soft approach. When they start one step two steps, they will move on to someone else, I don't need them to stay with me forever, they will move on to someone else will teach them a little bit harder, they will get to a point where they are stricter than the

00:38:38 --> 00:39:18

level that you had brought them upon, but you're bringing them upon the level by the help of Allah was not wrong. It was a stage and the phase where they had to come through that and sometimes they might stay because they will increase and expand through beautiful words. Sometimes harsh words may never impact certain people. So they will remain with you and there's nothing wrong with that. But if they're finding it, okay, this is a little bit too lenient and so on. And you know, don't say I am wrong. You know, I give you one example. I used to speak at a certain place. And one of the youngsters happened to go and study after some time he came to me and he said, Oh, I want to study

00:39:18 --> 00:39:29

and whatever. I recommended for him, he went he studied and he studied in Madina munawwara and he came back after some time, and he started saying this man is a straight referring to me. So

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he came to me and he told me you know, you're a stray why'd you go to this place and talk about what I said happy? You forget that seven years ago. You met me at the same place. Had I not come there? Where would you have been?

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I said I know why I am there. If you are saying don't associate with this one and that one lie, this is not Association. This is a means of Dawa, to go to people and they are good people. Sometimes when you you you seize the opportunity to attend

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A crowd and sometimes 123 1020 may come and they will allow me to guide them. And even if Allah did not guide anyone from amongst them, Allah will give you the reward. So look at his Salam round was not guided but Allah gave him the full report. And this is why I said that, you know, that approach is very necessary now that he went on a higher level, he started belittling, our softer approach on the lower level, without realizing had we not been there from the beginning, he himself may not have gone to actually study further and so on. So it is something some people don't consider. They think everyone must be harsh and hard, and everyone needs to. I'm sorry, I disagree with that. And another

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thing today, we have so many challenges on the globe, financial challenges, social challenges, family matters, you know, health matters, the violence going on people losing jobs, and the natural disasters and whatever else and we are hearing of wars and the Muslims are being trampled upon one by one, people are going through tremendous pressure will law he they require an even softer word of reassurance, they require a beautiful statement of comfort, and a bit lovely method of guidance one by one, bring them slowly but surely, unfortunately, sometimes when we tend to judge people based on the way we have lived our own lives without putting ourselves into their shoes, we have an approach

00:41:36 --> 00:42:18

that they don't understand at all. So put yourselves in their shoes, you know, if you watch sometimes I go live on some of my platforms such as Instagram, etc, in order to talk to people. Right. And I started that after the Coronavirus, you know, started claiming lives and so on in order to give people hope and to give them that courage and boost we are all the my family. That's what I call us. We are the my family. And you know, there are different people on different levels, different levels of practice different parts of the world, different races, different sects, different whatever, and all of them come gathering and each one when you talk to each one, there is

00:42:18 --> 00:42:55

a way of talking to the children talking to the adults talking to those who might be and again talking to someone who might insult you talking to someone who might praise you talking to someone who might be so excited to see you that they are lost for words, you have to give everyone a little bit of guidance according to their level, you might not be able to give them everything. But it is something you have to get used to you watch others you see them you start learning methodology, and you soften up and I want to say another thing also, those of us who study the deep, when while we are studying, we become very harsh, very hard. We think we want to conquer the whole globe, I want

00:42:55 --> 00:43:30

to change the old bruneian what I am learning I will change my old community and I will make sure everybody's this and we start thinking for a moment there on a straight everybody's not on the deities are going to help. If that is the type of ideology or that's the type of thinking we start having. We need a lot of help you know what time will often we time will come you don't you get married, you have your children, you see your family, you see your community, you start seeing things. Sometimes by that point, it's already too late. The damage is already done. So Allah

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May Allah make it easy for us. I mean, I'm a chef and I you know, do you know you just made me remember the Hadees of Anna's Guna Malik, where the person Lavalle was sitting on the bed when he came and he was urinated in the masjid. And the companions were worried like, why would you be doing this and the Prophet was like, allow him to finish canon law, you know, just reminded me that I need to shave way further.

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We travel a lot of people, and especially a lot of young people like myself, we see the elderly was doing something wrong, perhaps they are respecting the society, perhaps they are our parents, perhaps they're our scholars. And at times you want to correct these people, but you know, that if you do the correction, it's gonna bring a big fix. Now, what do you do in this situation? How do you cope with the guilt of not speaking to them at the same time? You know, you're scared to not to quit fitness?

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There is no one word answer to the question you asked. Because each situation would actually necessitate a different type of reaction. And also it depends on who you are, and what capacity you own. So number one in your heart, you have to feel this is wrong. Number two is you can actually say something or do something without saying things that would actually be a good example. For example, people are doing something the wrong way. You get up and do it the right way. So they will watch what you did. You didn't say one word. You did not attack anyone. You didn't

00:45:00 --> 00:45:39

Say something to someone, all you did you kept on doing the right thing. And they started learning and they start asking, you know, so on. Like, sometimes there are a few innovations that were not done by the seller. So if you have the opportunity to do it the right way, do it the right way people will start asking, but why is this man not doing this? Oh, why did he do this? And just the question is already a sign of success. It created awareness when that awareness, but you require a lot of patience, we are impatient, we want to see results immediately. So when you want to see results, immediately you end up spoiling the cake, a cake, you need to put it in the oven for the

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time that the ingredient and the method shows you. So the method will tell you put it in an oven that is so hot for so long. And you need to put it like this and like that, don't open the oven when you are done, then you can open it your cake is done. But if you put in the cake and you begin to open the oven and close it, it will flop. So the same applies in our diet, we want that cake of success, but we don't have the patience. We keep opening it, you know, some people who are a little bit more professional, but they are worried. They sit at the door of an oven, you know, and they watch it and they work from the beginning to the end. And then they make sure things are happening.

00:46:17 --> 00:46:58

Okay, that's okay, because they haven't opened it and spoiled it. But let me get to the real example. Sometimes because of who you're addressing, it might not be so easy to bombard and we don't want to bombard but sometimes you may have to teach them by example. Look at the process of shall do Kamara to Mooney, Sunday, you know, fulfill your Salah the way you see me doing. And he did it and they did it. Then they went and they said we saw the process. And I'm doing this and doing this and doing this oh we have narrations. So, when you do it the proper ways, depending on what it is, they would actually they would actually benefit from it. And then sometimes I give you an example, one

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simple example. There are cases where parents refuse and reject the marriage of their children on no Islamic basis. Now for me to go to that respected, honorable father and tell him father you are wrong, you know, it becomes difficult the child cannot say that and the others cannot say that. What do you do? You need to look who are the Friends of this person? Who does this person respect? Who will this person listen to go and see them. So rather than seeing that men directly, you see the fence and let the fence create a discussion. One day if that discussion comes among the friends you find the father returning home one day, well listen to my daughter, I used to say no, but no

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problem. Now it's okay, you wonder how did this happen? Someone spoke to him from among those who you look up to. So people come to me and say, will you talk to this person? Who are the scholars this person follows if they are dear to them, and they are close to them, let him pick up the phone, we'll let him visit this man and he can inshallah correct. So it depends what it is sometimes you need to use that approach. And sometimes and the problems are seldom has used all of these approaches, you know, the calling towards Allah subhanho wa Taala. And

00:48:09 --> 00:48:47

at times the Sahaba of the law and who were the ones who were sent to different people and different areas depending on who they were and who would have had a greater impact and the times the prophets are seldom dealt with it himself. So they are all examples taken from the Sunnah of the Prophet. However, if it is a very serious matter, then you might have to create a few enemies by standing up for what is right there. There are certain things that you can compromise a relationship for when you know that this has happened, but they're completely rejected and totally unacceptable. In that particular case.

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Unfortunately, we are very limited in the method the methods that we have to quickly and swiftly deal with the matter. You know, we've had matters several matters that come to mind where sometimes you have to deal with it decisively. The best you could do might still be considered a little bit hard, but that's okay. May Allah subhanho wa Taala count as good so that's why I say it's not a one blanket answer for all you have to engage situations what is the issue and and who are the people? Where are we what is the culture here and so on? And how best can we approach the matter May Allah make it easy? I mean, I'm a chef and I you know, just before we go I want to ask another question.

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And before when we watch your talk like say like yesterday is back you were a bit you know, Stephen had on Russia left the radical left. But what was your turning point? At what point did you decide to say no, I'm gonna be I'm gonna I'm gonna pass the message in a more softer way for people to learn and understand what was the turning point what happened

00:49:53 --> 00:49:59

you know, you get married, you have your own children, you you you advance in age your children start getting married and you start

00:50:00 --> 00:50:46

Realizing, you know, I'm speaking to people so hard, but I still have my own kids and my own, you know, circle that I can't even be so hard with, I need to learn to love them the way I love my own children. That's why I knew moment ago, that sister was insulting No problem, I didn't consider it an insult, it was an honor to give her and to have to have, it was an honor for me to have the opportunity to address a child of mine, I mean, as good as a child of mine. So I don't think there was a specific turning point. But definitely if you listen to me in 1999 2000 2001, it was very hard. And then you go 2004 or five, it was still extremely hard, but getting a little bit softer and

00:50:46 --> 00:51:31

my kids started growing a bit older, and then you know, you have your circle and you deal with more and more and more people and then you have new types of problems that that I was faced with people started confiding in me as a counselor, and the type of problems that I was facing told me Hey, hang on, hang on, hang on, you are talking on that level, but look at the level of the people they are far away from where you are aiming. So, I was only aiming for the pious before I will tell you the fact I was only aiming for a small group of people who are already practicing, I did not have in my methodology, the consideration of those who are far away from the deep in the club's in the ghettos,

00:51:31 --> 00:52:17

stuck stuck in Harlem for example, with with whatever it may be intoxicants and drugs, those are our children, we care for them, we love them, we want them to come, how will I talk to them with a smile or going and just talking rubbish to say those people will never do? Well, they are doing they are cursed, they are a stray, they are like this and like that, that that's where I even went wrong at some at some times with that harshness and people may have, you know, seen that way back. But then I'll handle I quickly realized Luckily, by the time social media developed Alhamdulillah I already felt myself a much more calm, softer approach, you know, more kind and loving and for many years

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that it it has always been my nature but it's just when you have knowledge and and quite a lot of things you've learned. You want to bombard to be able to hold back the bombardment is something that requires discipline wisdom. So don't bombard release a little bit at a time. You know, I cannot teach you how to read and without going through Alice and Bob so some people have not yet started anything but and you are telling them

00:52:48 --> 00:53:32

relax, let's start with me but I might take one year five years they the day you get beautiful so Mashallah, I did notice quite correctly that you know, right at the beginning, you have everyone who studies goes through a phase where they are a little bit hard data, and it was with a good heart, some people who are harsh, why are they a lot of the times they desperately want to get something to the person and in that desperation, they spoil it all like I told you, so we should be careful while we are desperate to get the truth to the to the people the prophets are selling if Allah wanted he could have been in the oma for one week it was enough of everybody who was going to be guided to be

00:53:32 --> 00:53:41

guide. One week was more than one day was what they did not come tell the people and go in more than enough. He was there for 23 years of resolve

00:53:43 --> 00:54:21

Mashallah to America last year, this is really amazing. And, you know, before we end this live, I want to tell you something that you know, really helped me if you remember most people don't know this story about Did you know how did you know came about at like summit, but the very first intake interview I had was between you. And when I was told I was gonna interview you. I was like an interview mostly because you know, is up there and up and down here isn't going to be possible. So the first day I came, I missed the opportunity of interviewing you. And I was told I see you're gonna interview Mufti, you missed the timings when Allah I cried that night Habibi. And I was like,

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you know, whatever, wherever you're lying. I prayed to Allah. I said, Yeah, like this is fair for me and for the oma make me be able to interview him. He was not let me go back to a puja in Kaduna. So the next morning, you know what happened? I was gonna live for could Abuja and I was like, you know, let me just listen to this talk. And I listened to the dog after the talk. I was told he was ready for the interview. So when I came, I don't even have the questions in my head and I was scared, you know, and when I sat on the chair, you know what you said to me? You said Habibi, this is your first interview. I was like, Yes, in my heart. I told him I said, Do you say no more interview? He said,

00:54:54 --> 00:54:59

don't worry. Just roll with me. And I rolled with you and this is where did you know

00:55:00 --> 00:55:16

So you can imagine the impact that you know, little Ward has on people when it's done the right way and how beneficial becomes Roma and spinal. Ah, I am glad to tell you, I'm interviewing you. And the first day June 2 Digital Studio, I had a first person I'm interviewing in the studio hungry.

00:55:18 --> 00:55:36

I want to say something. How old were you? At that time? You were a very young boy, because I remember, there was a young boy very interested in interviewing, and we didn't have the time. And then I said, No, we will make the time. Right, right. I think I was just around 21 Yeah.

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So so now that we're talking about the methodology of correction and the prophetic men, you know, men, acids and so on, let me tell you what I learned. When someone trying to do good work, you may not be able to support everyone right? But sometimes when you have an opportunity, consider it an investment. So I invested in your cryptocurrency right now what is happening? I have insha Allah and I know that I I must have given you words of encouragement. I must have I know what I must have done. I must have really made you feel very important on that day, am I right? Absolutely. You know, when people say that everyone will say now at an interview This is a Photoshop

00:56:24 --> 00:57:05

so when you make someone feel important, you empower them, you give them good news, you know, we talk to our children and we speak to them with rough words bad words, we have just smashed them down. Even if they've done something wrong, they failed or whatever happened. you empower them with solid words you know what will happen happy to be honest with you, they they develop a power they develop this feeling no I can do it, I will do it. I must do it, you know, and after that the ball starts rolling before you know it, that snowball collects and becomes huge avalanche and it comes into the dour and it just creates a roll and you and you know what year Allah will reward you for

00:57:05 --> 00:57:23

those beautiful words that I did the beginning so I that's why I say consider it an investment today. And I believe in that and inshallah we still want to see not only did you know grow, but all others do you know, I can't even believe that we have been speaking for one whole hour Mashallah.

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Mashallah I say is in beautiful having you and swana live video enjoyed this discussion and I hope it becomes a feature for all those who were here and all the you know, young dads who want to go into Dawa to take a very good methodology and I ask that Allah grant you a successful and then bless your family, make your kids the kindness of your eyes, and inshallah we'll hope to have you again on this platform inshallah.

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Allah Caden my greetings and Salaam to every one of the viewers and all of my brothers and sisters. May Allah bless you all for having me.

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Collect alikum walaikum salam wa rahmatullah

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Mashallah hamdulillah there was a move to a smile Moosa mink, and we'll come to the end of this episode. So you've done what you need to know you got to work on yourself your methodology, you know, we are not always right and you know, not everything you do. You know, you got to put yourself in the shoes of our people to correct them. We actually like it bless us all and give us the ability to be patient with all the people and we when we have been corrected we will be of those that take correction and love your illness for the sake of Allah until we meet again, I leave you all in the care of the Most Gracious most Merciful. salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

N Shuraim

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