Treatment of Children and Wives

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Mufti Menk

Channel: Mufti Menk

Topics: Women

Episode Notes

The sunnah of good treatment towards women, children and making them happy is underlined in this particular talk in addition to appreciating spouse for her serving towards the family, encouraging children to be dedicated, adjusting oneself to be able to lead a happy life without compromising the duty towards Allah SWT, reminding one another about salah with humbleness, encouraging words while spouse is pregnant and making an attempt to follow every aspect of sunnah as best as possible and not just adapting those which suit our lifestyle. Also a mention is made of on not to extract information from children and expressing dismay at the birth of a child as they are considered haraam.

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

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smilla rahmanir rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was Salam O Allah shuffelin via your mobile saline Nabina Muhammad wa ala Ali he was happy he went Tabby in a woman who whom be sending Elijah Medina bad.

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We praise Allah subhanho wa Taala we send blessings and salutations upon Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, his entire household, all his companions, we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to bless them all and to bless every single one of us. I mean,

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after having heard the young chief speak, I told him I'm trembling to get up Mashallah, he did quite well and I see Whoever marries him Mashallah will be absolutely spoiled, Mashallah.

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What he doesn't realize is he'll have to be a multimillionaire

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to fulfill what he said. But I think with the years of wisdom inshallah, he might want to say change his mind,

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but by the will of Allah work harder to earn

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Alhamdulillah we think Allah subhanho wa Taala. This evening, I want to speak about Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam his attitude towards children, as well as women. And it's important for us to know that no matter how many times we cover this, the repetition of it will definitely help us. The Quran says, while that kill for in advic

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found meet me

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and remind For indeed the remaining benefits those who truly believe. What this means is, if you're a true believer, you won't become upset when people remind you. If you're a true believer, you will be happy when people remind you and continue reminding you don't become angry and upset to say, I've already heard this. Who are you? Why are you saying this? A true believer, thanks the person who reminds them. Allah subhanho wa Taala repeats the reminder of salah and Zakah. Even those who are the most regular with their Salah have to read those verses, they have to continue, they have to repeat the verses, they will receive a reward for repeating the verses for learning the meanings for

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adopting for putting into practice and then conveying to others a great reward is achieved. So this is why it's important for us to go through topics that we have been through in the past, perhaps we may discuss a slightly different angle, perhaps we may bring a point or two that might affect us because as we pass through our lives, what happens is we've heard reminders that have been relevant but because we haven't gone through those items. Sometimes we don't realize the value when we hear it again, we think to ourselves, this is pertinent to me right here right now. So if you take a look at Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam, you will realize that he had sons who had passed away in

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infancy, and his daughters grew older, but he lost all his children besides one Fatima minty Mohammed rhodiola and sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. He, she lived a little bit longer than he did. So he buried his children sallallahu alayhi wasallam something really great in terms of learning endurance and suburb, it is assumed Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam suburb that we draw from yet he was the most beloved of all the creatures of Allah subhanho wa Taala. He went through it all. So when he had his children, how did he treat them? When he had his grandchildren? How did he treat them? Remember, many of us are impatient. When we are young. We are quite impatient. When things

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happen against our own world, what happens? We become people who cannot tolerate others, we can we become people who do not have the time for other people. We are people who don't want to be told anything. But as you have children, that alone is rehabilitation for you, if you needed it.

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And to say the least it reforms a person transforms them to become better by the will of Allah, the fact that you have children, you become so lenient, you become you become a person who can now tolerate something you didn't tolerate a little while back. If the children of others engage in mischief, were quick to get upset and angry. Wait until you have your own. Would you allow someone else to become as upset with your children? The answer is no.

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We won't want him imagine your child is the most mischievous child may Allah protect us all from mischief and our children as well. I mean, know how I worded that, Mashallah.

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And so if you have

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Have a very mischievous child at the back of the machine making a loud noise. Would you like someone to admonish them? scold them yell at them, even though they were wrong, you would perhaps go to them and say, Hey, leave my son alone. Right?

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Or you might say speak to him correctly with respect. Don't talk to him that way. When we were young, we were clouded by ankles. We didn't know. Because we were playing games while taraweeh was going on. Does it ring a bell? Mashallah, see all the men laughing because they know when they were kids, you know, the taraweeh was so long, we used to sit in the back, and he used to do all sorts of things. And here comes an uncle. Not only does he he can't scream because people will know His voice, but he clips you and he's gone.

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Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us protection and then you telling your dad, I think it's that uncle that says, Are you sure? Because he's worried the guy looks like a big rugby player. He says no, no, maybe it's that one. Okay, you don't know exactly what it is. Next time, you better figure it out. May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us we become so irritant when people admonish our children, the reality is,

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as muslimeen we all have the right to admonish one another as children, but within limits and with respect. Remember this, speak to them, address them, treat them as though they were your own children and parents don't feel bad when someone has corrected your child, if it was done correctly, with respect, and in a good way. And if your child was definitely wrong, sometimes with us, we send our children to a madrasa to a school to study the Quran to study Islamic studies or any other education. And what we find is when the teacher happens to correct the child, admonish them a little bit hard, they're a little bit harsh, they punish them, perhaps with detention or something else, or

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they have to stand in the naughty corner. Perhaps we become agitated, angry, what did you do to my child? Who are you? I'll get you fired. Do you know who I am? Have you heard that statement before? People lose track of their own identity? They've got to ask the question, Do you know who I am? Allah subhanho wa Taala forgive us. And then we become upset, agitated, not realizing the discipline offered by that educator. Perhaps you have lost in that regard. Perhaps you have not provided that in your home. So Allah gave it to you in another way. That having been said, we who are educators, be careful, do not overburden the child, do not over penalize a child it is haram. We don't know of

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a single Hadith where the prophet SAW Selim because he was teaching someone, the adults, all the children, the Koran, that he started clipping them, smacking them, clapping them up, whacking them and so on. Those are the words that are synonymous

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with what?

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becoming a habit. Right? They say, and I know I was told us as well, if you're not going to get clicks, you won't be a good habit. That's not true. Take a look at the her father of the time of Muhammad Sallallahu wasallam how many of them received it? Not one, not even one. But then you might argue they were dedicated. So encourage your children to be dedicated. May Allah subhanho wa Taala help us?

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Yes, it doesn't mean you must become so friendly that there's no respect. We are friends but with limits. Allah subhanho wa Taala guide us and help us these are children they are an Amana. Ask those who don't have children. How depressing it becomes when people say, well, it's about time you start having kids. And the sister says it's like, like it was in my hands. You know, we've been trying for so long. And we don't have children. May Allah bless you with children.

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Ask those who don't have children, the value of the children and when we have children, they are an Amana, a trust entrusted to us. Allah can take them away at any time. They belong to him, not to you. They are temporarily given to you to enjoy to be able to earn paradise through them how by giving them a good upbringing. Look at the Hadith which speaks about daughters. A person who has 234 daughters looks after them and he's happy that Allah has chosen daughters for him and gets them married after giving them a good upbringing to decent people. Allah says for us gentlemen, you actually prepared mothers of the oma and you actually prepare people who are not going to live with

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you. They were going to live with others.

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So Allah subhanho wa Taala grants Jenna to those who have looked after these daughters.

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Why because they belong to Allah, all you did was fulfill that duty on your shoulders and Allah subhanho wa Taala kept such a beautiful link that you felt the love because the birth to that child was given through you and perhaps and obviously your spouse Subhana Allah. So this Amana Allah can take it away, infancy childhood, teenage adolescent later on before marriage after marriage, before having children after having had children

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Before you after you, Allah chooses what he wants, you have to be happy with the decree of Allah subhanho wa Taala This is why when someone passes away What do we say in the law or in a Rajon, we are confirming that this person is taken away, they've returned to Allah, we all belong to Allah and we shall all return to Allah subhanho wa Taala. That's what we're saying. But let's say it with a heart of understanding. And let's realize this is a gift of Allah subhanho wa Taala. Allah has taken these people away. And Allah subhana wa jal has kept death as a lesson for those who are alive to say you are also going, you are the child of someone have you made to have for your parents, those

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who have passed away, have you sat and made draft for them? Have you asked a lot to grant them forgiveness and Jenna, it's part and parcel of your duty towards your folks, your parents, your family members. The same applies if you've lost children, remember, the summer that you bear upon losing a child will be your ticket to Paradise by the will of Allah subhanho wa Taala.

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So as the child is born, you find the first thing that happens and I'm going to move in this order, because I'd like to let this talk be of benefit to us all. We need to develop a lot of suburbs, that suburb already starts the day you get married, why? two totally different people have got together, they love each other, they will begin to love each other much more as they get together for the sake of Allah subhanho wa Taala. And they understand the rights that need to be fulfilled. When I say totally different, the faith will be the same. The level upon which they are might differ slightly here and there. We are taught to try and marry someone who's on a similar religious level, either

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attack or mentor bernadina who were who Luca who was a widow, when someone has proposed to marry your daughter, and you are satisfied with their level of Deen and Hulu, with their level of religiousness and the level of character and conduct do not deny them, let them get married. This is what the Hadith says. So once they are married, so para la one was brought up in in a home totally separately from the other. Those who are cousins perhaps, and they've been brought up together, they will tell you I can't marry this cousin of mine. She's my sister We grew up together, you can understand what they're saying, although they're not real sisters or brothers, but at the same time,

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those who have been brought up apart, Allah has made it such that you are more attracted to each other. There is a possibility of you being more attracted to each other, but get married and you realize every single one of us will realize that there are differences that you need to adjust in order to be able to appreciate.

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You will never be able to lead a happy married life if you don't adjust. And that adjustment comes with a lot of humbleness. The men cannot say I'm the man you adjust. That's it. She's adjusted so much. She's quick. The parents that she had in the sense the home that she was brought up in her parents, her friends her surroundings, her brothers and sisters she left absolutely everything to come and live with you in most cases and what happened you telling her you still need to adjust. I'm not going to change it's a given take don't compromise the deen of Allah subhanho wa Taala don't compromise your duty to Allah subhanho wa Taala but what you will have to compromise is a lot of

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other things.

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She might be a person who loves to sleep Mashallah.

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Well allow her a little bit more sleep than you because you are satisfied with four hours of sleep six hours of sleep, she is one of those Mashallah 10 hours Alhamdulillah here to London, she's asleep most of the time. hamdulillah she gets up on the flight is landing Wow, lucky woman handler you need to adjust to it. You need to talk about it. If that's the way she grew up, you cannot think for a moment that she isn't going to change that overnight. Yes, when it comes to Salah confido you have every right to get them up. Not by slapping, smacking whipping never ever

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but gently reminding because if it was you, you wouldn't want that type of reminder. Allah subhanho wa Taala forgive us. And this is why adjustment is absolutely important. It is the training before you get your children. Learn to adjust. Learn to appreciate the differences. Not every woman will be a top cook. Like chef Watson said moments ago you do the cooking. So Hannah,

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then see if anyone needs that food.

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Well, awesome honey subhanho wa Taala help us May He grant us to the understanding of the sooner Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam used to assist in the homes with the jaws of the house. He used to milk the goats himself bring forth the milk he used to help clean the home not to say it was dirty stuff. But to dust it and to make sure that the bedding is in order and everything else is in order. How many of us are so lazy, you just get married and that's it. After that you've got an unpaid maid to work with alone. So

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Especially if you're living with your mom and dad, they think, oh, now we've got a new maid, you know, Margaret's coming home. And that's it. May Allah forgive that type of thinking, may we change? She who has come into your home is not there in order to act as an unpaid maid. No, not at all.

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Yes, she will serve. She will serve dedicatedly she will. I'm speaking from experience.

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A wife doesn't mind serving on condition that she is appreciated. That's it. That's all a little Thank you just a cola Hara Good day, la shala wonderful food, what a lovely meal and so on. That's all she wants. To be honest with you. Not more than that. The problem is we live with people sometimes who don't appreciate Not at all. In fact, they will pick on one thing that went wrong and they will ignore 1000 sacrifices that this woman has made in the home. We do we ignore them. She's made so many sacrifices morning to evening, perhaps the schools, the school run, as we call it, some of us Mashallah we do it ourselves. Some of us are fortunate to have drivers to do that. But others

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or in the majority of cases, who does it? Let's be honest, it's not an easy task. It's quite difficult. Do we appreciate it? This is just one point. So many other things, we come to the house everything is in order. This having been said my beloved sisters, let's fight laziness. laziness is one of the biggest destroyers of marriages. Did you know that people who are lazy, lazy, they become an irritation after a little while, people don't want to see their faces because they're so lazy. May Allah protect us all men and women from laziness. Even the Prophet sallallahu Sallam who was free of laziness, he used to say a lot of them are in need to be communication, Oh Allah, I seek

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your protection from laziness. Subhana Allah.

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Thereafter, as you grow a little bit you will have by the will of Allah subhanho wa Taala. To have children, and then you have children, your wife is expecting what happens if Allah wanted, it could have been a smooth sailing nine months, and then you are the child is dead, it's over. But Allah chose, as he says in the Quran hemella

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in another place hemella.

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Both these verses speak of what type of pregnancy what type of gestation period the woman goes through. Number one, it is imposed on her in the sense that it's Allah who has chosen that this child will be produced or you will have reproduction of men in a specific way. That's Allahu chosen. And then the other verse depicts the pain, the difficulty that the mother goes through difficulty. Why wasn't it easy, Allah wants you to achieve reward, and allow once the male to acknowledge that and allow once the male to live with it to adjust to begin to adjust from now because when the child is born, wait and see what happens.

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So Subhan Allah bl Allah, what the great Lord we have, what a great creator we have. So she, after a few months, a month or two, perhaps sometimes three months, or in the early stages.

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I'm sure you've heard of morning sickness, why does it happen? I'm sure you've heard of irritations, pains, sometimes different types of distress. It becomes medical sometimes. Loss of hair what else so many other things now we require supplements. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us good health I mean

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as men do we just sit back relax and say yeah, that's it good. We're gonna be having a child excited telling the whole world nowadays Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, everything buzzing but your your wife is suffering struggling. Have you ever sat with her and offered her as Jeff Watson has advised a little personalized homemade spa Mashallah. We might not be able to afford those you know, big things as he was saying. But Alhamdulillah you can try.

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once in your life, as he said twice, thrice perhaps look, we taking cue from one of our seniors Alhamdulillah.

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It's a very important and then the interest that should be shown by the male is such that the woman feels proud to have had your child Subhana Allah.

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The interest I'm so happy to have some men become upset when they hear that the wife is pregnant, who's going to pay the school fees? Relax. Take it easy. Who told you to do this? What do you mean Who told you to do this?

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It was you man. Allah.

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Allah forgive us. May Allah subhanho wa Taala help us never become upset upon that news. No matter how it comes to you be happy. Smile, say Alhamdulillah Subhana Allah

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Mashallah, it's a miracle like, people are crying to have children. Here you are. Your wife is pregnant and you upset.

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mela make it easy.

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So as the days pass, say good words, stop screaming and yelling, the child hears you did you know that the child hears you learn to recite the Quran. Learn to say good words Subhan Allah Al Hamdulillah learn to speak in a sweet manner, the child is affected by the emotions of the Mother, did you know that the child is affected, affected by what the mother goes through? Absolutely everything

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from the very beginning, so panela This is why when they speak about Islamic education or education, we believe it starts in the womb.

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When you have a soothing recitation that the mother listens to in the womb, all the time, when the child is born, they will incline towards such a recitation, they will achieve the coolness, the calmness, the calming effect by the same recitation, where did it come from? came from the mother. It came from what they heard, perhaps the father but if you were yelling and screaming all the time, as soon as the child is born

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Mashallah, where did it come from? That

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Okay, okay, that was just on a lighter note, Masha.

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Allah, this attitude of screaming, yelling, shouting, become humble. become responsible from before the birth of your child. I must be responsible. Come home early, don't leave your spouse, you know, on bed or in the bed struggling suffering with this child of yours and you busy sitting and chatting with your friends. You know? They have shisha lounges here and there, and people are just sitting Oh, my wife is expecting but it's 12. You You should have been the one expecting May Allah subhanho wa Taala forgive us.

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We as a family are expecting by the will of Allah.

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This is what it is. Are you responsible? Do you show that enthusiasm? When you enter the room Do you smile? You will obviously see a female who doesn't look too delighted not because she's not happy. She's excited. She's worried at the same time. It is a big concern. It's quite stressful to be pregnant, especially when you hear stories of how people have struggled and suffered and the child is growing in you. So you don't expect it to be all smiles every single day. She might be a little bit down some days, you will have to come in you will have to say words that will encourage her you will have to say words that will boost her that will make her smile against all odds. Where are you?

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Where is that a bad the prophet SAW Selim used to make his wives blush and smile and love. Where are we from those sulan of Muhammad wa sallam when we claim to be champions of the sooner and the seer of Muhammad Rasul Allah, what type of a champion is this?

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thereafter, please remember, when the days are drawing near, it is important for you to make yourself available.

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One of the biggest gifts you can give your wife is to be there for her in the last moments,

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to show concern to make dua many of us in our excitement while law here we forget to call out to Allah.

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Allah he you know excitement we forget to think Allah, we forget to call out to Allah.

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So make yourself available, try and be there to to give her that moral support.

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Most women that's all they want. And then the child is born never ever, ever say

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child is a girl I wanted the boy stokfella or the child that boy I wanted a girl. That is the most hurtful statement and it is haram prohibited. Allah has chosen and it is Allah subhanho wa Taala learn to understand this. Allah knows what's better for you.

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lilla hamanako sama wa T one two Allah belongs the kingdom the ownership of whatever is in the skies and the earth. Yes No coma Yahshua he creates whatever he wishes yeah happily many.

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He grants whomsoever He wishes only females. Why I have only money.

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And He grants whomsoever He wishes. Only males in terms of children.

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Well, yeah. jahromi Asha akima whomsoever He wishes, he makes them unable to bear children parent as it were.

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I was a widow, mucho con Oh inasa. Allah says all he gives them both male and female. and thereafter he says, oh, he keeps them better.

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The woman is barren or the man is unable, for example, His reproductive system or the sperm count is too low. That's all in the last hands. You may seek medication. It is an act of worship to seek medication within the limits of Allah subhanho wa Taala. I repeat that it is an act of worship, to seek medication within the limits of Allah subhanho wa Taala calling out to Allah to help. May Allah subhanho wa Taala help us and guidance. So when the child is born, everyone's excited, everyone is so excited and Mashallah he has the child, let's not go into the naming. But at least keep a good name. A name that has a good meaning. And a name that is easy to pronounce. Especially living in a

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in a country where we do not speak Arabic as a mother tongue. If you have a sophisticated name, who's going to pronounce it correctly. So have a decent simple name, something that has a good meaning and easy to pronounce. And at the same time, stay away from those names that have a good sound but they mean nothing. They sound very nice, but they mean absolutely nothing May Allah bless us, you are your that child is going to be called with a name that you have chosen for the child on the Day of Judgment the same name so Allah so it's something very sacred, really sacred. Choose something good

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thereafter there is excitement and people come in and Mashallah the gifts start rolling in Mashallah, you know, that's good in a way because you look forward to the next child.

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May Allah subhanho wa Taala bless us, the gifts start rolling in, but those gifts won't help you when the sleepless nights begin. So panela colic a what to do. Let's run to the doctor doctor says that's normal, but no, oh no. I'm going into the next room. Well done, father. That's why heaven is at the feet of the mothers. Subhana Allah.

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Allah forgive us, really? Is that how you treated your child? Okay, it's understood if you had a very important meeting some of the mothers are very understanding they say you know what, we don't want this to disturb. Well, why don't you take turn Subhanallah say look, first six hours, you look after the child after that, I will as it is you are going to be awake under that Mashallah the Baraka Allah? Take turns. Is there anything wrong with that? Not at all. It's an act of worship, that child is yours, the child will grow up somehow the law and the child will No dad looked after me. Mom looked after me. I was a blessing child loved by both parents. So panela This is a balanced

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upbringing from the very beginning. Take your child some fathers do not want to carry the child not even No, not at all. What type of tyrants are those sort of little?

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Even the Pharaoh was fond of kids.

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May Allah subhanho wa Taala forgive us? Allah subhanho wa Taala help us. So as the child grows, remember that crying at night is in order to stretch the level of support that you have

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stretched you because the child will cry, what can you do? You cannot bash the child because that's your own child asked the mother. Some of them will tell you I feel like whatever but tell them Okay, let me do it for you.

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It's a reality. They will tell you I feel like this and I feel it's just a little feeling it's not reality. It's their desperation to keep the child quiet. And then as the child grows and Mashallah, you know, moving with the child growing, you know, and the first few words the child utters, there's excitement, there's a lot of joy, but there's great sacrifice, because here come the cold season. And what happens, the child starts suffering a little bit, it's quite normal, it happens. And you have a bit of an perhaps a respiratory problem, a slight one, you know, a little flu, a little cough, slight nasals, a bit of asthma here and there. You need to run to the doctor, all this is

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part and parcel of your duty and to your children. You need to make sure an ally is showing you you were equally helpless. At one stage. Someone looked after you, you now grew up, are you going to do it for the rest? This is what life is all about. SubhanAllah We are the fathers who are impatient with their children totally up. I don't want to hear when I come home, no screaming, no shouting, no yelling or you're in trouble. Your marriage will be broken Stubblefield law. What type of trouble is that? If that was the case between your mom and dad, they would have never survived. You probably yelled more than anyone else.

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Well forgive us.

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So my brothers and sisters, let's understand as time passes, you know you traveling with the child and the child begins to yell in the middle of the airport, the middle of the mall, the middle, that's just your test. Do you get angry, agitated, upset? You want to beat the child? Not at all. ignore it. children cry, but not pay. The parents are not meant to be yelling. That's what it is. Children will scream

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I recall I was flying on an aircraft. And there was a child screaming top of the child's voice. And the mother is busy trying to keep the child you know, keep the child quiet. And it's the lights are off. Everyone is trying to sleep and so on. And I got up and I had to say something because people were giving her the dirty looks, you know, like, ah, but you can't do anything.

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And I said, You know what, don't worry. Let this child yell, scream.

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I've got seven of them. I know what it's all about.

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Let them scream, let them yell.

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People will hold against you Your reaction, but will not hold against the child.

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The crying, the crying will be forgotten you land and everything in the crying is for them. But how you smacked up the child to make it even more or gagged his mouth and almost choked it the whole world will remember that it will be on Instagram and Facebook and trust me Twitter and everywhere. And they might have a secret picture of you also slavery Allah. Allah forgive us. This is what the world does. So remember how to react Take it easy, relax, calm. When you accom the child becomes calm. If the child is screaming, yelling, pretend like nothing's going on and carry on with the child. People look at you a few. I think you met those who have children 100% of them will know and

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appreciate.

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So Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam was in sujood one day, and he prolonged the sudo sobre la who were worried.

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You know what happened? They realized

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that his grandchildren were playing on his back when he was Institute so he couldn't get up because perhaps they might have fallen down and got hurt.

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I think the Imam would be fired if that happened in our master.

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It's reality.

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Allah subhanho wa Taala forgive us. The example is being drawn not so that we purposely do that. But in order to show us the value of these children, the patience required I'm reading Salah, the child's on my back. How did it happen? Did he get angry? How did you allow these children here? What happened? No, it was encouraged these little boys al Hassan Al Hussein, about the Allahumma.

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So Allah

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they are supposed to be encouraged to come to the masjid. Yes, that was a little bit too early, but they came in Subhana Allah and they were playing. And as they were playing, they were on is back sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam. They couldn't have been a better place to play Subhana Allah, what an honor. And he delayed meaning he took longer Institute.

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This shows us the patience of Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam was children. He used to take a moment to greet the children to give them so much of importance because they are the leaders of tomorrow. Today we ignore the kids. We ignore them completely. In most cases.

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How many of us would greet children well, we don't even greet the adults let alone the children

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to greet the child Salam aleikum, Allah He the child will learn from you. The child will respect you. The child will understand this is what I'm supposed to be doing the child matures quick because he's got relation with adults. A good one. You talk to the child What's your name? Masha, Allah, Masha, and don't raise problems all the time. We only are interested in children who might be a little bit mischievous. And so what we do is we start saying, Hey, stop doing this tomorrow. You better not bring your phone here to this message. Do you understand? Sorry about you. I don't mean

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perfect.

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But what I mean so panela is that Allah subhanho wa Taala has indeed blessed us speak good, Mashallah. How old are you and hamdulillah and walk away? You don't need to start, you know, extracting information from children as some people do. He come in, you know, your mom and dad are fighting.

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So who shouts louder mom or dad. And the poor child will say, Mom,

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or dad, whatever you know, that is haram. It is haram to extract information regarding what's going on behind closed doors. From children. It's dirty. It's prohibited. You're not allowed to do that. And some people say no children tell the truth. Not always. I know little kids who actually lie. May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us. Let's learn to develop our character. This is all taught by Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam Did you know that? But with us, we pick and choose what we want to label sooner or sooner. What doesn't suit us as By the way, no way. He treated his wives in such a beautiful way. So halala

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he's chosen children, he gave them so much of importance. He participated in their lives before marriage after marriage in such a beautiful way. Subhan Allah This was Mohammed

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Listen, this is why I say the treatment of children, the treatment of women is so important, it actually becomes our contribution to the future, to the next generation, to the development of the nation. So panela the soma requires people who love one another, it will only start when you love

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when the love starts in your own home, and that love needs to be shown, it needs to be displayed. Nowadays. It needs to be said a lot as well. You need to tell your children you love them. I give you another example from the sooner the prophets, Allah Allah Salam was with one of his grandchildren, and he kissed him. So Allah was sitting nearby, he says you kissing your grandchild. I've got 10 of them. I haven't ever kissed any one of them.

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The processor looks at him and says mela

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whoever doesn't have mercy, will not be shown mercy over what powerful words? What powerful words to kiss your child is a sign of mercy. Don't be shy to embrace your child and to kiss your child and to tell your child I love you, my son, my daughter, tell them again and again, even when admonishing them, tell them look, I'm about to correct you. I'm about to rectify what you've done. It's wrong. Don't be mistaken. I love you with all I am. That's why I'm telling you so that you don't repeat this error. Speak to the child engage them in discussion. You don't just come and say right, pull out the word. Nowadays they will be back so hon Allah, Allah protect us really. Allah Candace

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goodness and ease the children are quite quite sophisticated today. They can fix you in so many different ways.

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One of the biggest ways is hiding your cell phone.

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Allah forgive us I recall an irritation that happened in one home because the child was perhaps admonished in a way that the child didn't like and next thing the cell phone disappeared of dead and he's, he's really fuming and he was so upset. And someone suggested to him Why don't you just offer a little gift to anyone who finds the phone You know? And Mashallah it came out.

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Came out hamdulillah my brothers and sisters, we can convert our homes into beautiful homes full of love full of goodness, but it requires a sacrifice. Without a sacrifice, you won't achieve it you have a temper, work hard on the temple, cut it eradicated. Whenever you're about to boil, just say I love you. I shall make sure it's the right person Michelle

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whenever you're about to get upset, just keep yourself quiet. Follow the sooner how to be a virgin perhaps sit down perhaps drink a bit of water. So many remedies in the tsunami Mohamed Salah Salah, you're angry and he says whoever quenches their anger, quenching meaning, you know to suppress it, they will be granted a huge prize on the day of piano some hannula

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special status on the Day of Judgment. For what just because I was about to get angry and I just suppressed it. Allah says you deserve something.

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May Allah subhanho wa Taala bless us all May He grant us every form of goodness and ease. And as we develop we see the children of others, treat them with respect because others will treat your children with respect to don't look at the children of others and not be bothered and not worried not bothered let them do what they want. So panela you need to be concerned how many of us have made an effort on the children of other people. How many of us have made it to our for the children of other people.

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We can improve inshallah, in that regard. Make dua for the children of the oma, the people of the oma not just for yourself and your own children, Allah bless my children, bless Allah bless my children and the children of the oma Subhana Allah. Allah bless my children and the homeless children of Syria and Iraq, and Palestine and Afghanistan, think about them. The situation can change anytime anywhere, earthquake can happen, anything can happen. And our world can turn upside down like the wills of others have already been turned upside down. We don't want that to happen. So be thankful to Allah make dua for those who are struggling and suffering, reach out to them in a

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beautiful way. Teach your children how to reach out to those who are struggling with us. One big mistake we make. I love you actually in the minds of some people means I'm just going to shower you with everything I can with my money. That's it.

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So we buy them an iPhone six at the age of six, I

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promise you.

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And then when they turn seven, the iPhone seven has not yet come out. You've got a big problem.

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Allah subhanho wa Taala forgive us really the point I'm raising is you don't show love by showering upon them, right which is material that's going to be detrimental for their upbringing.

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Sometimes

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To keep it away, would actually be more beneficial.

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And this doesn't mean that you just say, okay, you know, we're not allowed to give you we're not going to give you because what may happen is they may see the others with a few games, perhaps some technology, perhaps something else, if it is permissible, if it is permissible from an Islamic perspective, then remember what is now required if you can afford it is to be able to control how much they use of it. So it's not like we're going to stop them completely, but we say Listen, you can take this for one hour a day inshallah and use it. And that to it will be parental guidance, so to speak, you know,

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may Allah subhanahu wa taala help us discipline, not only our children, but even ourselves. We require it. Many of us have children, but we still need guidance ourselves.

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We are not yet role models to those children of ours. So remember to pray for the children of others. I've mentioned just a few words. And I asked Allah subhanho wa Taala, to bless us to open our doors to open the understanding that we have to grant us every form of goodness. And we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to create ease in the homes of those who are struggling and suffering in any way. And we ask Allah Subhana Allah to Allah to grant children to those who don't have children. May Allah make us from those who understand that the Sierra and the sooner is not something narrow. It's something that includes every aspect of our lives. Let's not just follow what suits us and leave

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what doesn't. Let's attempt to follow every aspect of it as best as we can. But Allah bless you all. And may He bless the omad Lodge for sallallahu wasallam albaraka la Vina Mohammed Subhana Allah behind the satanic alarm will be handing over to Allah Allah in lantana Stouffer Coronado Lake