Hostile Homes!

Salam Alaikum everybody,

we left from the Los Altos de la to savage marine. We begin the name of Allah whole praise and glory be to Allah and mace finds peace and blessings be upon His messenger Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and his family and his companions and all those who tried his path.

I'm sorry for the glare behind me. It's not because I'm religious or anything. Not a halo.

I should have pulled the curtains I guess before I went online.

I pray that you're doing well and benefiting from your, from your time alone with your family, and that you're maneuvering well around whatever obstacles may come with that. And that will actually be my reflection this evening inshallah with everybody.

Allah Subhana Allah, Allah says in the very famous verse, very famous is sort of a room that we hear it every single wedding

of His signs that he created for you from one another spouses so that you may find tranquility and repose with them. That's cuando la Ha. But then he says, and this is the part I want to capture with Jada, beynac, comilla, the 10, Rama and he places between you between the spouses, melody, the 10, like love and affection, and Rama and mercy and compassion.

As one of

my mentors, just as a bit of jest, he says, This is extremely important to understand why Allah mentioned both why the relationship must be understood as requiring melodrama, like love, affection and drama,

mercy, compassion.

You know, perhaps the reason why a lot of dogen mentioned this, it seems pretty obvious actually, that whoever thinks that things will stay as they are at the beginning of the marriage, or at the height of the marriage whenever that is, they're not having very reasonable expectations. And, you know, they say that expectations are faulty expectations are the mother of all frustrations when you have faulty expectations about God, faulty expectations about life, faulty expectations about relationships, that frustrates you so much. And so the good relationship is the relationship where in a person understands they have to offer and expect a tandem of love and mercy of passion and

compassion. So that when there is a hiccup in the love, and yes, of course, there will be hiccups in the love, just the way it works. I mean, we believe that our EMA and our fate fluctuates. And a part of that means that our feelings for Allah Himself subhana wa Taala will fluctuate, and how can we not expect it, that our feelings towards each other, the degree of love we have for each other will not fluctuate. And so the way to preserve it is to realize that it doesn't have to stay at that height all the time, irrespective of the changing circumstances. Rather, we have a backup plan, that backup plan is mercy having compassion for each other, so that we give time for the love to

regenerate, to return. And there's so much that can be discussed about this. But I just wish to highlight that because I'm sure there are many stress factors. Now the uncertainty of how long this lockdown will last. Maybe some of us are having financial uncertainties that they're grappling with and they're not able to shake them off. Being in each other's faces within close proximity. All of these things could detract from the warmth that

could have perhaps otherwise been there in a less stressful situation. And that is where Allah reminds us that there better be mercy in those moments when love hiccups when love fails, if you will, fails relatively not totally gone inshallah. But when it goes into hiding, when it's scared out of sight or shouted out of sight, you know, interestingly, this is like, even with kids like the fact that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says to us, they are not one of us, those that do not have due reverence due respect for our elders, you Walker caviar Ana, why are Hamza Liana and have mercy to our youngsters. A person should reflect like why does that even need to be said? It

needs to be said because we probably love our kids more than we love our spouses. This is natural. It's normal. Men won't want to be politically incorrect and say you know I love you more than the world and all that good stuff which is fine, keep doing that and Mashallah. But naturally, there is nothing that surpasses the love of a parent for a child among the creation of a lot of villages. That's the utmost love. But even that love at times, could get blurred out of sight. Our kids may stress us to points where

We have to remember, just because I can doesn't mean I should I need to have mercy, the fear of Allah and me recognizing that I need his mercy. So in that case, I should have mercy on this youngster Have mercy on their weakness, that even then it's needed. So that's why he reminded of that is a lot of asylum. Because the vulnerability of a child and

the talent that some kids have sometimes so frustrate us,

could blur us from our love for them, even if just for a moment, a moment when our we reach out to me hurt the kids may Allah forbid, or we shout, and then we regret it. And so reminding yourself with mercy for the times that love hiccups is a huge factor.

And I'm sure that our kids being around, you may hear my kids screaming and crying right now on on the first floor.

This is something that it's a high stress point. So we need to realize that whenever we feel provoked, and we feel like we're really in each other's face, and I'm being strained, thin, I want you to pick a fight at that moment, not with anyone in your family, but with yourself. pick a fight with yourself and tell yourself, I am not going to let you over my ego. turn this into an obstacle in my path with Allah. This is a great opportunity. I'm going to maneuver this into the greatest opportunity to show a lot of my character because your character is your character at home. We can all put on a show we all do put on a show for social intelligence, social maneuvering, but we can't

put a show on forever, at home. And that's why at home, it's the truest test of our character. When you find yourself ticked off and on the verge, just step back for a second find a room, find two rockers and remind yourself of this huge opportunity that only really exists behind closed doors, or only best exists behind closed doors. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, and I want you to remember this in our radula, Ludovico because nikolova op, the Rajat you saw me we know how alpha you believe

the person a man, meaning a man or woman, because the quality being praised here, man can actually with their good character, attain the level of the person who prays through the nights and fast through the days. Really, yes, really, because our lives though a Jedi knows how difficult it could be for us to conquer ourselves in certain moments and remind ourselves that I need to be merciful, because I need the mercy of Allah. So I'm going to show exemplary character, especially behind closed doors. May Allah help me and you put that into action.