Reminders Balance Sheet Honoring Parents
Channel: Mirza Yawar Baig
Series: Mirza Yawar Baig - Balance Sheet
File Size: 16.35MB
in Amarillo, salatu salam,
ala he was happy about
looking at the continuing with our series on the balance sheet, and creating our own balance sheet before it is good for us.
And we're looking at now the assets column. And yesterday we looked at the issue of making Toba to eliminate ship from our lives because that is the biggest of the problems and it's also the biggest of the good things. Biggest are the problems and therefore eliminating it is the biggest of the good things.
Today, we look at the second one of the big chunks of good deeds of umbrella which we can do for ourselves. And that is heard much of the variance
availbale Dania Hassan Allah subhanaw taala said be due for your parents, a son,
which means not only give them the rights, but also do more than that, more than what is required. As always, there are some said the father and the mother are the two gates of general for the child. And he said, when one dies, one gate closes, and when the other dies, the other guy closes.
Now how evil is it for a pet for a child to personally close the gates before they are closed?
How you will Is it because we hear about children who, when their parents have brought them up, and because of the education that the parents gave them. And because of the support that the parents give them. Today, the child is able to stand on his own feet. Today's child has become a things he has become powerful things he has become a you know, whichever, whatever he's doing in his career, and on some minor matter on some misunderstanding the child, the son or the daughter does not talk to the parents.
And we have so many cases like this where there is no they do not talk to the parents, they do not say Salaam to the parents. How evil is that? azula Salah Salem prohibited a Muslim brother from ignoring or not talking to his Muslim brother for more than three days. And we are talking about strangers to people who are neighbors or this or that or somewhere and you know, we're not talking about people or even related by blood just because he's a Muslim. It is his right on you. That you do not ignore him You do not desert him for more than three days. After three days you have to make up.
You have to make up and he said minimum is you go and chase allamani if you have said Salaam This is in your favor, even if he does not return your Salam then it's the sin is on him. If this is the con for a person who is a stranger who's not really, you know, close to you or not. What about the parents? Islam does not even as in I don't I don't I do not know of these whenever we sell or sell them even mentioned this whole issue of children not talking to the parents. So Allah there's something that the Sahaba never did. So there was no need. We were mentioned something like this. But today we see this in many places where I travel I hear these cases where so and so now has
become a big businessman or whatever. And then he doesn't talk to his parents. Why? Why does he talk to his father or mother because there is some misunderstanding what misunderstand.
What misunderstanding is this that you want to close the doors of gender for yourself with your own hands. So like Salah Salem, the famous Hadith with regard to Ramadan, when I was little I seldom ascended the member. And he said I mean on the first step and he said I mean on the second step and he said I mean on the third step
jela Dumas will talk about this.
And when he finished the zap Oregon I had a madman they said jasola we saw you doing something today we had never seen you do before. And as soon as LLM said, when I stood on the first step jabril esalaam came to me, and I usually get the order mixed up but all the three things are there.
He said gibberish like given to me. And he said to me, may Allah subhanaw taala curse and destroy the one who gets some of that and is unable to get forgiveness.
So drama has been wasted. no better than nothing. You know, just eating and drinking alone is what? So rahsaan said jabril said May Allah is the one who does this, who gets some of them and loses the advantage because he is not enough to tears is not God the forgiveness of Allah subhanaw taala and I said amin and he said on the next step, the person said Dr. sola, may Allah cause the one and destroy the one who finds his parents in old age and is unable to get Jana by serving them. And the surah Salah Sallam said amin and he's there on the day
devialet. Sir, I'm sorry, Allah, may Allah destroy the one and cause the one who when your name comes before him, he does not send the last name. He does not say sallallahu alayhi salam. And I said, I mean, as I told you, I may have got the order of this mixed up Allah, Allah, May Allah forgive me, but all the three are there in the service. Now one of them obviously is the parents.
So if you find your parents in their, you know, old age and you don't serve them, you don't take care of them, you ignore them.
And remember, a man came
and he said, Yes, well, I took my mother for Hajj
and I carried her on my back. For the whole of Hajj. I don't know if any of you have done the Hajj walking. I did once. It is work. It's a lot of walking. Now imagine doing that with your mother on your back. He said I carried my mother on my back for the whole of Hutch. He said jasola have I fulfilled my duty to her. Now, I was upset.
If you get it your mother for the whole of her junior back. He said you have not even fulfilled your duty for one birth pin that she had for you.
Not even one.
Where is the question of fulfilling the duty
people came to
you get to know them. And they said yes, Allah, the savvy young man. He's dying. But he's unable to say the caliber and he is in a lot of pain.
And the caliber is not coming out to you. They were trying to get him to see to speak and say the caliber is unable to sell the caliber.
So please come because it looks like he will die without developer
masala mandate, he made some inquiries.
And they said that he was somebody who was not good to his mother.
So as a result of that columella
and he said to the Mother, please forgive your son.
The mother said I cannot forgive. Because she said he was pious used to worship and everything. But he was very bad to me.
He was to give me a lot of trouble. And he was a Lala maybe he was abusive, or Allah knows best what used to do what he said that he was very bad to me. So I cannot forgive him. So Sam said bring wood firewood.
So the mother said, Why are you asking for firewood? He said because I will burn him here.
He's dying, I will burn him alive here. So that at least Allah will save him from the fire
on the Day of Judgment, because if he dies without your forgiveness, Allah will put you in the hellfire.
So I want to save him from that fire. So I will burn him here. So the mothers Dr. Salah, please don't burn myself, I forgive him. Imagine that woman, I mean, whatever he did his whole life, he may He must have troubled her. But she forgave him because she could not see her own son being but
yes, and to the parents is let us not look at these things purely as this is why this is for know. Number one, this is a sign of your own is
what kind of a human being is it to disrespect his parents.
And you know, it's like saying if you spit in the sky, this bit falls in your face.
you spit at the sun, you know what happens is volunteer waste, whereas you can eat the sun anyway. So if you are disrespectful to your parents, it's not as if
now that we will, it's not as if something is going to happen to the parents.
If you are disrespect to the veterans, you are only showing your own worth, you're only showing how you know
right. So that is the first thing. Second thing is whether it is wise if it is not worthy of influence over here is this huge opportunity of getting
here this huge opportunity of doing something good for us now, which shouldn't be what kind of a brainless human being is that who doesn't want that?
as well I tell you, you know only May Allah give us the size of this and USD value of this before we lose that many people, we only realize the value of something when we no longer have it. And that's there is no point in that because now it's no longer there. So it's very important for us to realize the value of something while we still have it so that we can appreciate it and we can thank Allah for this. There is no person on the face of the earth who can do it for you like your mother or your father.
children will not do it, believe me,
children will not do it. I have heard of any number of cases, any number of cases where parents have given up their careers where parents have chosen voluntarily to not take this posting or that posting, because my children are in a good school in the city, you know, let them get a good education. So the father is boy or the mother, all sorts of things. But I have not heard of that many cases. I don't want to say I've not heard of a single one, because I've heard one or two, but other than that, I never have a case where a especially in today's world, when we live in our countries in India and so on, you have children who are you know, in America, right? I have known. I
know of many, many, many cases where the mother or the father, one of them has died, the other one is alone, and living alone in a house. And the children think that because they send some money, so they're now they have suffered, they've got a car they've got what what does she want?
Just because I sent him money, and some of them don't even do that. Right. I have not heard any case where they have said no, no, we don't want our cavalry carrier in America. We must be by Bear Bear and say we want to hear so forget American carrier, we come to India allies Roz's the same Allah will provide me in India because the same Allah there is no different Allah for America.
How many cases
and why not?
But parents would have done it with tiller will do it.
The point I'm making is that
the daughter of the parents actively seek that actively seek that amount of goodness, you ask them to make God completely selfless.
If you do well in Europe, for example, if you do if you are wealthy and if you do well in your career, may Allah save us from having brothers and sisters like that. But for the most part, if you do well in your career, if you are wealthy, more than likely your own brothers and sisters will be jealous of you.
Your own brothers and sisters will be jealous of you.
But no I don't know of any parent who is jealous of you. Jaron will be proud of us. Angela, my son is doing so well. My daughter is doing so well. They never jealous of us. How Why is it we will know our brothers and sisters Yes.
For the good balances also we asked Allah for that who will also make dua for you. But more than likely brothers sisters are jealous of you. They don't like to see you doing well.
If they if they can do something they will try to do something to harm you. Never parents, I've never heard of a mother or a father trying to have their own child. Never
right? To look at your mother or your father with love, you haven't even done anything. You woke up in the morning and you look at your father and say Mashallah, my father Alhamdulillah you haven't even said Salaam yet you just looked at him. You just looked at your mother. Allah subhanaw taala gives you a word for this
Allah give just for this
just looking and after that of course you inshallah you make salam, you know, you do something for them, you go make them a cup of tea or coffee or whatever it is that you go and serve them and so on and tell me like it was tough to do all this. But I'm saying even without all of that, just looking at them.
We have no idea how much and how much further we get when we do this. Why is it that last man was Allah in several places in the Quran in surah, Allah Akbar in Surah, salah and so on, why did Allah subhanho wa Taala mentioned his parents again and again detail. Allah subhanaw taala said your mother used to bury you, in the you know, in when you were in the womb of the mother, she He bore you with difficulty after difficulty and pain after pain and so on. Why?
reiterating the importance of the parents reiterating how important the parent is everything we owe, imagine how many how many parents? How many instances do you want? Where the child is sick.
And not that not sick with some terrible illness? The child does a good job got a fever or no unwell right? All night the mother will sit there
how many instances Do you know where the mother is sick? The mother got a fever and this child is sitting there the whole night.
How many times have you heard this?
I haven't even heard once.
Not even once.
I'm not talking about terminal illness that maybe you will do I mean a May Allah protect us but you know terminal illness or and the mother is dying. I'm not talking about I'm saying your mother just has a flu or a cold or something and she can't sleep right and she's got a bad headache or something like this.
How many children do you know will sit there by the bed the whole night.
But we know any Mother, you know, any number of incidents, in your own house, in your own homes you would have seen, the father might go to sleep, my mother will, will stay awake.
Father will go to the parliament or not to go to work even if it has no work, it's still sleep, but the
day after I work, but the mother will sleep while the mother will be awake.
And that is why I remember the Hadith of the three men who got caught in the cave.
Right and the dryer was stirred up dry, which on the basis of which Allah subhanaw taala saved their life on the basis of this Allah move that rock and one of them what was his what was the moment he said Oh Allah, I used to give as to raise my sheep and come home and I would draw the milk and I would give it to my parents. Before I gave it to my own children, and one day I got delayed I by the time I came, my parent was sleeping so I did not I stood there by the bed holding this bowl of milk in my hand my parents might wake up so I did not give it to my children. And it so happened my parents never woke up until the morning and so I stood there the whole morning oil if you like this
action of mine I did it only to please you. Allah move the rocks Allah subhanaw taala Buddha
That is the value of the parent that we have to be very very May Allah forgive us whatever we have done if you have done anything wrong We ask Allah Subhana Allah to forgive us and two hence for to change our lives
don't laws the two doors of Jana that you got for no fault of yours? You didn't work for it Allah gave it as a gift. Don't close the door of Ghana before it was for you one night because if Allah subhanaw taala Of course nobody knows who is they will die first and who will die later but and the novel scheme of things right?
Once the parents are dead, they're dead.
But don't close the door before the door closes.
do go to your parents be good to your parents and train children from the beginning is also part of the problem is the is the parents you know inshallah maybe one day we will do a class on parenting or something here inshallah. But part of the problem is parents, many parents they bring up the children wrong.
In this whole desire, no, I must treat my children as equals your children, you can treat them as equals whatever child two things is equal to his parents is crazy.
You cannot be equal, how can you become equal to your father, you cannot become equal to your father, no matter no matter what you think you are, right, Allah, Allah gave him a camp, he gave him a position he gave you another positive, do or not equal, no matter how he treats, but treat treat them, treat them. Treat them things. When you get up. If there was a time No, I there's no point in me keeping on saying there was a time there was a time because the point is that we have to, if that time was good, let us bring it back into our lives. That there was a time you did not go in front of your father with your head uncovered.
To go in front of your father, you covered your head, as a matter of other you did not sit down until you were told to sit down you you said Salah, and you do and you stood without saying anything. Then even if he said Yes, what is it? Then you say what whatever you had to say?
is not a question, it will add up this is how this is how we were brought up. This is how we were taught. And that is why that other remained at hamdulillah throughout life. Right. So it's also part of the problem is the parents the way they bring up children where where you don't teach them any other. So now the child thinks that, you know, once you especially if he has grown up, he's got
he becomes strong. Now he thinks that, you know, he can say whatever he wants, and he can talk to you whichever way he wants, and so on and so forth. And you're part of the problem because you encourage this. Right from the beginning, you never you never, you know, you thought you were being very modern. And then you will suffer the benefits of being modern. Right. So that is that's another story. But I'm just saying as far as we are concerned with respect to whatever they did. As far as as far as we are concerned. I remind myself when you Alhamdulillah those of us who have our parents alive, both of them are one of them, let us appreciate them. Let us be thankful to them. Go and say
to Korea to them, go and say Jazakallah fire and go and say thank you. You know how many of us actually thank our mother or our father for whatever they have actually said. And it's very important to say it
because Allah subhanaw taala who knows himself, insisted that we should be thankful to him.
What is the
line shocker Tom Lasseter, Nikola Tesla made this announcement, the one who's thankful I will increase my bounty to Allah Allah subhanaw taala knows whether we are thankful or not. So
Why is Allah saying be thankful? So the one who knows already says no be thankful? Why because you're being thankful is part of your duty. Whether Allah knows or not is immaterial, you have to say, because that is your abode. Yes, Allah subhanaw taala now what about in the case of parents? Does your mother or your father automatically know you are thankful? No. They don't know what's in your heart. Go and say it in so many words. We Muslims like to play all this. You know, we are superior game. When people say today's Mother's Day which are no No, no, no. For us every day is Mother's Day, the hour of whatever you know, day is Mother's Day, at least for them. One day is
Mother's Day for you. There is no day which is Mother's Day, every day is Mother's Day is rubbish.
Because how many how many Muslims do you know who are going and thanking their mother giving her flowers every day? Tell me
at least the other ones, the Westerner that is the root one day in a year, which we like to say, every day. How many times did How many times did you give last Yama not once in your whole life? Forget about every year?
Right? Please in honor of giving flowers is not our culture. So giving Bananas, bananas, you know, whatever it is your culture for God's sake.
When have we actually act?
When have we actually tagged go to do it now and you want to go and thank your mother. If your mother is alive, your mother's not alive. Make dwaraka salah and
ask Allah subhanaw taala to forgive. So also with your father go and thank them and say Jazakallah khairan for what you have done on your way on go buy a present, buy some flowers, buy something, give more give them a gift.
Right. Thank them. Thank them for what they have done. We cannot possibly fulfill that. You know what they have done? We can't sell it. I've finished my thanks. No, but at least make a beginning don't do it once.
Once a thanks go and say Jackalope. I don't make sugar to the to the parents. Very, very important. Very important for us. I remember telling the stories of time before I was in. I was teaching a course in Chennai and we had the whole course the entire class was tamela brahmans.
So I mentioned this issue of being thankful to parents. So I said, you know I told them go home and thank your parents
in devil homes, that will ruin homes especially. There is this ritual, which happens every morning, the lady of the house, the mother, she wakes up before the men and she has a bath she does a Puja and then she comes in she makes coffee. They make this fantastic filter coffee in really beautiful aromatic they freshly ground beans. So they make this and she makes the filter coffee and she gives it to everybody. So as all this whole bunch of people were there, all men, as I said, one day if you don't get your filter coffee in the morning, will you know the difference is Oh my god. Yes, sir. We have absolutely rubbish that filter coffees, you know, they they all in the Tamil Brahmin home.
That's the first thing in the morning, you eyes, your eyes open, you must have this cup of filter coffee, they have this little coffee and they will read the newspaper. That's part of the ritual.
They all do that. So I said one day if you don't get this filter coffee, will you know that? Of course. Absolutely. So is that how many of you thank your mother for making this filter coffee day in and day out? For the last 50 years for the last 40 years? For the last how many decades? Right? Not one day, every single day. As long as the woman is not lying in bed sick. She's making that filter coffee. How many of you thank your mother. So dead silent. No, nobody thinks they're there. Everybody's equally bad. So nobody said the next day. It was a two day program two day course. Next day, one of them he came early. He came straight to me said Sir, my mother said to thank you. So I
had forgotten about his incidents. I said, Who's your mother? I mean, I don't know your mother who thanked me for what? He said no. So I went home yesterday. And I told my mother, thank you very much for this filter coffee. So I said What did she say? She said Who told you to say this?
This young man is dead. No, no, no. I'm doing it.
You're doing it yourself. Somebody told you
to do I know you're do I know you're
our teacher in the class he told us
to go and thank God tell your teacher I thanked him for bringing some sense into you.
My mother said thank you very much. Seriously, we must understand this our parents may Allah May Allah you know, give us COVID if you if your parents live with you or you live with them Alhamdulillah great mercy and blessing. Go and thank them. If you don't live with them. If you if they live away from you. Pick up the phone, call them and thank them. If you can go and meet them go and meet them. You know today's Sunday holiday in most countries go go and visit them go and visit them go and meet them if you live in a different country.
Then for them at least, and thank them for what they have done. And make it a habit not just wonder you thank you for it. No, make it a habit, make it a habit, do things for them, thank them Allah subhanaw taala said do not stand in front of them, you know it with good with great sort of pomp and splendor and strength, lower your shoulder, lower your wing, be small becomes small, see the beauty of the band and even describing the body position as one other thing, it's amazing. In many cases, it happens. You know, the the parents, also people as they grow older, they kind of shrink in size, the word elderly parents will becomes more now you are in the prime of your health and youth, right.
So you are like 10 feet tall and eight feet wide or something. And you stand there like a house in front of parents, the hover of water will
lower yourself right on the land, maybe you go to the gym, and you pump a lot of iron, and you're proud of your muscles, but not before your mother, your father brain, bring them down, lower yourself, before them go and sit at their feet. Right? Go and sit at their feet, be nice to them, be kind to them. Be humble before them. Because remember, there was a time when if your father was holding you, if he had dropped you, you would have died. Simple as that.
If he had simply dropped you, you would have died, there was a time there was a time if your mother just forgot to feed you, you would have died.
There was a time when you were sleeping next to your mother. And in her sleep. in her sleep unconsciously if she had shifted the blanket on you, you would have died.
He would have suffocated to death and she wouldn't even have known.
Yes, if you're sleeping next to your father, if your father had just turned over, you would have died.
There are a million times that you could have died as a baby. Just because your parents neglected you or something happened. And these things happen in the world. It's not as if what I'm saying is, you know, unheard of it does happen. There are cases where love May Allah protect us from such cases, there are cases where for various reasons, such things happen, and hamdulillah none of that happened to any of you. And it happened to us. It didn't happen to me, or hamdulillah give us parents who were nice to us were kind to us all. And so one day they, you know, they said something, which we didn't like, or one day is my one day or sometimes maybe the parent was not very nice to us
one day or something the parents maybe we feel they were unjust to us and they punished us when we really should not have been punished and so on. So what big deal
big deal. How many times did you keep them awake in the night because you were cranky or whatever it was how many times did so many how many times did they have to bear and put up with so much of inconvenience on your account?
Where is the where is the balance right? So the mother was not very nice to me. So what
that does not cancel out anything. The duty to the parent remains to the extent Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam was married to Habiba who was the daughter of Abu Sophia Abu Suzanne was the biggest enemy of Naresh Allah Allah.
Allah know before he became Muslim before he became another law who spent his whole life trying to destroy our solar system as much and as quickly as possible. He schemed and he did everything possible to do that.
He came to visit his daughter
can be removed rasoolillah salons better sight and she said I will not let you sit on the bed of the Nabil numbers and Nevis. Allah did not like that. He didn't say you did a great thing. No. He said Be good to your parents. Your duty to your father is your duty to your father, even if he is not Muslim. Even if he's an enemy of the Rasul Allah salam, still your duty to your father is a duty to a father.
You cannot say well, you know, I'm a Muslim, my father, mother is not a Muslim. So that's not the duty to the parents is up to the parent. The only situation in which the Quran specifically tells us do not obey them.
Only situation is when the parents tell you to commit shift is when the parents tell you to do something which is against the religion. If the parents tell you go to this Durga or go to this cupboard and make this magnet or go and do this worship or do this level of water level up, parents will not tell that it is against the deen and if they tell you then you are supposed to disobey them. But how do you discover them even in that case? You got your father by the neck, no.
Politely with dignity. You just do not do what they tell you to do. That's all you don't abuse them. You don't scream and rave and rant. No. You just say I'm sorry. I will not do it.
If they rave
And rant at you what do you do you sit and make a step far and you keep your mouth shut. You do not argue back with them even then you do not argue back with them you do not cuss them back, no nothing nothing let them say whatever they want to say. You keep your mouth shut
and you will make
you stand in the night and cry before Allah subhanaw taala and say Allah guide them to the right paths because if my father dies in a state of shock, he will go into the hellfire.
I don't want that to happen. So Allah guide him to the right path, but you don't abuse your father. You are not disrespectful, disrespectful to your father, because he's telling you to do something wrong. But at the same time, you do not do something wrong because my father is saying it My mother said no. That is where the line is drawn very clearly in the ER and it's
very clearly a loss of an authorizer to Homer do not obey them the the the the server there is Houma meaning both of them. do not obey them if they tell you to come and share if they tell you to do something which Islam has. For example, if your parents tell you shave your beard for the for the boys Take off your beard, la la la la Vela Hara, I will not do it. But you don't say this is haram. I will not No, no, just don't do it unless he can grab you by the neck and shave it for you know, so just don't do it. That's enough, but there is no need to even there to be abusive or to be disrespectful. If you are a lady and mother says No No, do not wear the hijab, because if you wear a
hijab, you will not get married, there is no need to argue there is no need to just do not do it. Continue to wear your hijab, if you wear a hijab, your marriage is your risk. If it is written for you it has to happen. If you wear a hijab you will get married to somebody who loves Allah, Allah Rasool Allah Salam who's obedient to Allah subhanho wa Taala therefore he will be good to you. If you do not wear a hijab, you will you will, you will get married to somebody who neither knows Allah nor is obedient to Allah, therefore he will probably not be good to you either.
So that's the only difference that what kind of husband do you want? Do you want a husband who is good to you? Or you want a husband who is not good to you? Do you want a husband whose joy Allah will accept? Or do you want a husband on whose head the length of Allah is descending every day? Which one do you want?
That's your only choice. Right? So is the parent say Take off your job sorry, are you do not take off my job is the parent said don't pray sorry, who don't you do pray.
You don't not pray your parents, they go to this Durga that mclamb this massage that cover sorry, we will not we do not go to any of that. The only cover I will go to is my own cover and then I will go inside it I will not be standing outside it. And this happens to all of us, it has to happen to all of us. It is not haram to go to the power of your parents or somebody to stand there and make dua of my favorite for them and hamdulillah this we can do there is no problem with that, but going to this Durga and that Durga, someplace where a building has been constructed specifically for the purpose of promoting shear, this is haram. This is like going to a temple, we do not do that.
But other than this, disobeying parents for anything else, Haram in Islam not permitted. We ask Allah subhanaw taala to open our eyes, to the value of our parents, to make us thankful to them, to help us to go and say thanks to them, to help us to make dua for them. For us, we ask Allah to make our parents the source of gender for us. And we ask Allah to give us a toffee to earn our gender through them to be asked our Allah subhanaw taala to help us to be such that our parents will make dua for us. As long as they are alive 100 laps they will make dua for us and make us among those who will make dua for our parents on a daily basis. Let me ask you this simple one question. How many of
you today before you came to Philadelphia get in the habit? How many of you made for your parents, alive or dead?
maybe one or two people, three people, four people, everybody doesn't do it. Everyone does not do it. This is the nature of children. And if I ask the parents and say how many of you made the offer your children probably every parent has made the offer the children
This is the nature of life. So let us change that also make the offer your parents hamdulillah you have benefited from their door. So why must you not make the offer then make dua for them always always whether they're alive or dead? Doesn't matter if they are under Lemme give them good health. Well, I keep them in good health and with Mr. And at the time until until the last moment we'll go further. If they have passed away make the offer them affordable, make dua and their dua and make dua for them and be good to them because they were good to you. The reason that you are alive and standing here is because they will go to you there is no other proof that is needed. Right. Either
will not go to you you will not be here. The very fact that you are here shows they will go to surrenders also.
return that and we ask Allah subhanaw taala to make that a source for us to earn our agenda was Allah Allah Allah will Karim Allah Allah He was happy he will automatically from Allah him you know what i'm doing blah blah