Refining the Self – 15

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Isam Rajab

Channel: Isam Rajab

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

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smart man Rahim hamdulillah salat wa salam O Allah Subhana

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Allah Allah your silent Rhonda, and I want to lava cattle.

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Welcome to the class

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after we discussed the relationship between the person and the last panel data the person and his family, his mother, parents, children, wife. Now we're moving to another area, a bigger circle,

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the Muslim and his relatives.

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First we need to know what what constitutes a relative who is the relative?

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Who's the author of yours?

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Yeah, what constitutes them? aunts, uncles, you could list them all. But there is another way when you define what is the relative

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blood relations? How blood relations happen? Because of what

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Family Ties

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Yes.

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It's not only blood relations,

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your father's family

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and their family.

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How your mother's family has in law?

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They are in laws to your father, not to you.

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Yeah.

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Okay, so here's the relative

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No, no, islamically is not

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how do we know who's the relative and who's not?

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How do we know?

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This is actually because we did not study the Torah.

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They will study for the inheritance inshallah separately

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and the third year inshallah it will be a full subject, separate subject that you will learn everything. Yes.

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Yes, exactly. Those who can inherit from you, Hong Kong. That's one type of relatives, those who can inherit from you, because they may, they may be unable to inherit, but they are still

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your relatives.

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One way to know the relatives

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is that to see who can inherit from you.

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Another way is to see if they share you with blood relation

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or nursing.

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This topic is a little bit difficult, but it is important because we have many relatives, and we have many people we don't know

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whom we should care about whom we should ask about.

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But it is still part of our religion.

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While nowadays,

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when everybody is so consumed with this life,

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it is hard to maintain the good relations with your

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like parents or children or the essential family let alone the other relatives. But in Islam, it is still required. What makes it part of our religion.

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They are the uncle.

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We have to ask about them. They have to call them they have to check on them.

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Why?

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What what causes you to do that?

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Yes

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To tie the bond of kinship,

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forgive this a cat to the family, you will get double the reward. Why?

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So, this is this is very important meaning that that is missed nowadays.

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honoring your parents, what about if they are from your children's side?

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Nowadays you find someone

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who has relatives is very rich, his relatives are poor. And then he writes in his will that all the money goes to

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charitable organization,

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animal animals and so on.

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Why not? They say why not in Islam? Is this permissible?

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First you cannot because there is inheritance. Second, you have to be you have to join

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ties of kinship. Look what Allah Subhana Allah says in the Quran

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why would the law

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Well, after Shrek obey

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obey Allah Dania Santa.

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We've mentioned this earlier.

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If you remember,

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we've mentioned this idea, when we talked about being beautiful to the parents. But look what comes next and unto near kindled?

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That's the point of mentioning this ayah here. What does it mean?

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You have to show kindness. How? How do you show kindness.

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And then look what the last month Allah says.

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The orphans, the needy, the neighbor

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till the end of the eye. Today, what we'll talk about is

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very important element.

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We want to join or we want to know that

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tying these

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relations of kinship is part of ibid.

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Just like when you pray, when you fast, when you obey Allah subhanaw taala. You are also doing a better when you check on your uncle.

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When you ask about your relatives.

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Why it is about the house. It is about some people when you tell them they say oh no, they think that my brother is only what you do in the masjid, or giving Zakat or the obligatory things. Yes.

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How you're getting rewarded. What's the evidence?

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Do you have evidence for that?

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Yes.

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Exactly does a lock amount something that he doesn't like?

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If Allah commanded you to do something, what does that mean? He likes it. What Allah likes is what I better.

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So that makes joining the kingship is a bad because what's the definition of a whether

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any action or seeing that the last rantala loves?

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So tying the kinship is a bad.

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However, you find many people, oh, I have relatives, many relatives that I did not even ask about them. Why is this?

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Because we don't know the value of tying the kinship. That's the reason why.

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Because we think that our religion is only prayer, fasting,

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giving Zakah we forget about tying the kitchen, it is also part of our budget, but only part of very bad. The point of the class today inshallah is to show you how important is this type of a bad

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one thing to know

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the importance of it is by knowing the reward, what you will get

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people you may tell them

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this is a nice pen. And they say Yeah, maybe. But when you tell them, this pen

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is worth of 10,000 $10,000 everybody will look Oh, please, why they knew the value of it. But if they don't know the value, who cares?

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The same thing

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about joining the kinship, what's the reward once you will get? Why not

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just ignoring it.

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Once you know the value of it the reward, then you will do it. The other thing, once you know the punishment for not doing it, you will avoid it. These are the two things and always Islam there is the balance. You have the reward and you have the punishment.

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Look what Allah what the prophet SAW Selim says and what Allah says in the Quran, first thing we said that Allah commanded, and Allah does not command anything but is good.

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The prophet SAW Selim says, the one who severed ties of kinship will not enter the garden.

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liath Hello, Jana Takata.

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Be sure that if you

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do not join the kinship, then you are what? We're not going to enter Paradise.

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That's about punishment.

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What about reward?

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Look at the importance of the kinship.

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profits. Assalam says ties of kinship

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is derived from the old merciful.

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That's where it is derived from? What's the meaning of kinship in Arabic?

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they translate it literally sometimes. And they say whom? Russian word it is derived from? A Russian, see the word Russian, Russian.

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What does the kingship say? My Lord, I have been wronged. My Lord, I have been corrupt.

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That's what Rahim says, when it was created. What did Allah say?

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Are you not content that I cut off the one who cuts you off?

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That means you're not forgiving if you

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if you untie or you sever

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the joys of the kinship

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and I maintain connections with the one who maintains connections with you.

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This is a great Hadith and it is a divine Hadith.

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What you will get again more than that,

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because of joining the kingship.

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Look what the prophet SAW Selim says,

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Whoever loves that he be granted more wealth and that his lease of life be prolonged than he should keep good relations with his kith and kin.

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You get two things.

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increment in your wealth and

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extension in your life.

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Two things

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happen this will happen.

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How can you relate this to the other two or three took

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doesn't allow know when you will die?

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Then how your life will be extended?

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Yeah, Allah is that's not acceptable answer the exam special after he studied the quarter I need detailed answer how your life will be extended, how your life will be extended by joining the kinship but how you join the kinship then how your life will be extended.

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You're supposed to live 40 and now the more you join one year you will get the extra one.

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Yes.

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You have to know how because someone would come and say then no one knows what will happen in the future even Allah because your life will be extended Allah only said that your life will be extended.

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Okay.

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How this happens, let's say someone

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the same person who decided to join the kitchen.

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What will happen to him? And if that same person did not decide to join the kitchen

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Yes.

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Okay, so

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one of the answers is that you will be less stressed. So that's what caused you to live longer life.

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Okay?

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Okay, so Allah knows that he will join the kinship. And it is already written that your life will be

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prolonged.

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Well, actually,

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what is written is that if this person joined the kinship, then that's how he will live. And if he did not, then that's how he will live, Allah knows which one, but it is written this person,

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if he did this, that's what he will get. He did not, then that's what he will get.

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It's all written. Again, remember how we said that there is daily other and there is the color that is written in the preserved tablet, that does not change because in that tablet, it is written that this person,

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that's how will what he will get. And if he did this, that's how he will get. And it is written off, he will do a lot because Allah knows what he will do.

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But it shows you that because you don't know which one you will do. So it is an encouragement, just like when it tells you that if you do this will get more money. Or if you do this, you will be rewarded. And if you do that, you will be punished. So it is the same thing.

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Fine. Now someone said,

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I am

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aware of those habits. I know the reward. I don't disagree with with the reward, I know it is good to join the kinship. But my family, my uncle, my aunt, every time they come there is a problem. I just don't don't like to be with them.

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So I'm staying away from them.

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I did not cut off the ties of kinship. I'm just not joining it.

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So I should not be punished. I should be okay.

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I didn't do anything wrong. If they call I will call.

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I will talk to them. I will show them

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licensed but

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I'm not really encouraged to visit them to ask about them.

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Yes.

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That's not the manners of the believers. But again here, does this apply to him?

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Why it is not the manners of the believers?

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No, Allah promised to punish. The threat is to punish those who cut off the kingship. Right?

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I did not corrupt the kingship.

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No, someone would say I tried it. Because once they call I call

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what's my part?

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Fine. Someone said I visited them. But they did not visit me.

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You continue?

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Why? I already did it. So I joined the kinship.

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But let's be honest, is this like practical?

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Is that what you do?

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Or from you wait for any simple mistake and you say that's it? I will not talk to them or

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what do you think?

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Yes.

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Call

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not talking to them is not severing ties.

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When they call you when they're when they're around you.

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At a base level.

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Okay.

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You're not

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joining because you already joined.

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You're always doing so in this case you're joining but what about the extra case where you call more often and you you take the initiative that's better joining

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It's still sufficient.

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Unfortunately, there is a hadith contradicts what you just said.

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Because the prophet SAW Selim says,

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last, what's the meaning of fossil join in Arabic means Rasul. Joining, the one who joins is not the one recompenses, the good done to him by his relatives. Okay, Holly. So it's not three compensation. That's not the one, the real one who joins the kitchen. But Allison, the one who joins the kinship is the one who keeps good relations with those relatives who had severed the bonds of kinship with him. That's the real loss.

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Because if you do just like what they do, then you are not joining the kinship. You join the kinship when they separate. That's the meaning of philosophy.

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But again, is that possible? Could someone do that?

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That's exactly what Islam wants from Islam wants from you to forget that they did this thing wrong to you, they did this thing to you and you did not like it. That's the point of this hadith. Do not expect from people to do everything perfectly. And if everybody applied this Hadith,

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any suffering will disappear. There will never be any suffering

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of kingship.

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So this is very great.

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always remembered.

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The one who joins the kinship, indeed, is the one who joins when they the others suffers. They cut it off, but he joins it. That's when you deserve this reward. Do not think if they visited you, yeah, I visit them because they visited me. That's not real joining.

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So now let me ask you and be honest, how many of us we do this? How many relatives do we have? That we did not call we did not ask about we did not visit?

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It's really important.

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And the point here is once

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again, Islam starts from the person himself, then the smaller family, then the bigger family. Because if all the relations are good, the entire amount will be good. But if everybody is is busy with his individual life, no one would care will become all week.

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And that's what's going on nowadays.

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I have enough worries to care about you want me to ask about my uncle.

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My aunt.

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My mother will ask about her.

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She's her sister,

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not me.

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This happens.

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Actually, sometimes for people, they don't even visit their parents regularly as they should be.

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Left alone, the other relatives, the uncle, the uncle, the cousin.

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Because even the cousin

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your uncle son is a relative also.

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And to some people, sometimes they love their cousins. Because again, they are in your age more than they love their uncles, their cousins, fathers.

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And they say my uncle does not understand he's backward.

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You have to love your uncle more than you love your cousin. Yes, you love your cousin, the natural love, but the religious love should be to your uncle because he's the one who you have kinship with

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through your father.

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So how many of us thought this way?

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There is some degree of difference? Yes, they still

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they are they are still relatives. But again, here's the thing. Now someone would come and say I'm confused. Which kinship Should I join my parents, my in laws, my children, or

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my father's side, my mother's side. That's why we started first, you start actually before anyone else who starts within your own self.

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Because there are people they are in distance with their own self. Then with the one that has more rights on you, your mother

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and then your father,

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then your children and then you go to

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The three sides, your brothers, your sisters, and then your father sides, your mother's sides. And then after that the circle gets bigger and bigger, you have to be balanced. You don't go to your uncle and you say I'm joining the kinship while you don't talk to your mother.

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how this happens,

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that's not true.

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You're joining the kinship, you should start with the one that deserves your companionship most, your mother

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and other great Howdy. Look what the prophet SAW Selim said.

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There is no wrong action, which Allah is swifter to punish in this world,

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in addition to the punishment, which he has taught,

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for the wrongdoer, and the next war, then cutting off ties of kinship and injustice.

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This is so unique about the kinship, that the punishment will be here in this world before the hereafter.

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And this is for injustice, and for the cutting off of the ties of kinship. And this is seen, it happened to many people, especially when they cut off the ties of kinship with the parents.

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This is seen punishment, you see it in this world, before the hereafter.

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Now,

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after the relatives,

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there comes

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another group of people,

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which are

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the neighbors,

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your neighbors, in Islam, we have

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three levels of neighbors.

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We just we just spoke about the relative

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if you have a relative

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and he's your neighbor.

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So he has the right of

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the kinship, the right of the neighbor and the right of

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Islam.

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What if he is a Muslim and the neighbor then he has two rights Islam and neighborhood his only enabled but he's not a Muslim, then he has one right. So how many neighbors do we have?

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How many types of neighbors

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three? Again, here comes the question, which one you should

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care about?

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Most

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you have on the right side of your house,

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a Muslim neighbor, on the left side you have Christian neighbor,

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which one you care about more?

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The Muslim neighbor, he has to write

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what makes

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neighborhood getting about the neighbors.

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Dealing with them is part of our email.

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Nowadays,

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if you live

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an apartment complex, and you have a neighbor next door, and you never talk to him for more than 10 years, no one will come and say you have to talk to him or you will be imprisoned or you'll be in jail or you will.

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So what makes you be good to him.

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As long as you're not doing anything bad. That's enough. That's sufficient in the law.

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So what do you think?

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Remember the I

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we started this class with

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the eye, Baba de la Vela to stick over his

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mobile wallet, Dania Santa.

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And then

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neighbor who is of kin and the neighbor who is not of kin.

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Look, Allah subhanaw taala mentioned it in the Quran.

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This is a reminder

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that you have to be good. You have to show kindness to your neighbor. Is this part of rabada Yes, it is why it is part of either because that's what Allah says in the Quran.

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Yes, didn't we take this hadith yesterday.

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masala jabril Yasuni will jar hot oven and turnover is this hadith jabril continued to recommend me about treating the neighbors kindly and politely so much so that I thought he would order me to make them as my ears. Who will inherit from you? in general?

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Your relatives?

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close relatives? Yeah, exactly. Not any relatives. What about the neighbor?

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You may live with someone from

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another continent.

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Yet, because the prophet SAW Selim was reminded many times about the neighbor, also some thought that the neighbor will inherit.

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This is a great thing. I mean, people nowadays they need to see these a hadith of Islam, that this is what Islam teaches people.

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To be good of neighbor is part of your religion.

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The prophet SAW Selim, how he was good to his neighbors.

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Neighbors. Yes.

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Yes, imagine again, that's the thing, why Islam

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emphasized the importance of the neighbors so much can you live with with the disturbing neighbor.

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There was an incident at the time of the messenger Selim where a man came to the pasta salad

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and the complaint about the neighbor, the process and asked him to be patient, then the main complaint again, third time process, I'm told him, take your luggage out of your house and put it in the street. When people ask you why you did this, tell them my neighbor is bothering.

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He did that.

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And once people saw this, they said they started cursing that neighbor. So the neighbor came out and he said, By Allah, I will not do anything to you again.

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Nowadays,

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sometimes, and this happened, I read it in the news recently, they found

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a dead body

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for five years, five years.

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And no one checked.

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If that was the neighbor of the messengers are seldom, this would never happen.

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If that was the neighbor of a true Muslim, this would never happen.

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That's the greatness of Islam.

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So again, it is emphasized and it is part of the man is to be good to your neighbor.

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called the prophet SAW. Selim also says

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anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should not harm his neighbor. If you believe in Allah and the Last Day should not harm your neighbor. That means if you harm your neighbor,

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what about your belief? Even if you say I believe in Allah and the Last Day your belief is not perfect? It is incomplete.

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That's what the prophet Sam said. Which means to perfect your Eman, you have to be good to your neighbor.

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Without being good to your neighbor, you want perfect to remain.

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Whatever.

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Yeah.

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Yes.

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Okay, let's be practical. Now. Now again, we may mention many as many hobbies. But the point here is to know how we can exercise this, how we can be good neighbors.

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Give me through examples. Do you have neighbors? How to Be good to them?

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how helpful

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so here's the thing you wait until they ask you, you wait for something to happen to them and they come and then you do it. That's one thing. But why don't you take the initiative

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that's what the prophet SAW sent him used to do.

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That's that's good thing actually. Whenever because it happens like even it's it's nice gesture. You see people moving in. You tell them Can I help you? But do you mean it or it's just a word they said?

00:34:52--> 00:34:57

Mashallah handler That's good. That's 111 example. Very good. What else?

00:35:07--> 00:35:09

None None of the brothers Why

00:35:10--> 00:35:13

the hell Lola? unfortunate? Yeah.

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It was possible for me to do it. on my own. It was very hard.

00:35:25--> 00:35:25

Yeah.

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Exactly. Imagine like in this case, he helped you.

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helped you? Didn't you appreciate that?

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See, so, so when you help people, they will appreciate it. Actually, this is what happened to me the same thing. But I hired people because, again, I did not like to ask any of the brothers.

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And they saw me moving in and But anyway, I just called the company and they came in they moved my my stuff.

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Of course, if they were brothers, I would very much appreciate it. That's another example. What else?

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Yes.

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greeting. I mean,

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why don't you send them small gifts, simple gift. It may not it may not cost you $5 all you cook a meal?

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Wouldn't they appreciate it?

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They will appreciate it.

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What else?

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So many, we need examples. And we need to practice this.

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We don't know maybe Allah will ask us you had neighbors.

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That's the minimum you should know their name.

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This you know the names of your neighbors.

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Especially if she's good looking female. You give Dawa for the intention of Dawa.

00:37:06--> 00:37:08

Okay, what else? Any other suggestions?

00:37:12--> 00:37:18

We need to be good neighbors. We need to see what the prophet SAW Selim did. How can we be good neighbors?

00:37:19--> 00:37:20

Yes, they have examples.

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telling them about Islam. Yeah, but actually even if not now, people many times they say that for the sake of our

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as long as you are a Muslim, you are a neighbor. By default you should do you should be good. Whether they accepted Islam or not, whether they you gave down or not. But of course giving Dawa is one of the great things that you do you give them books, pamphlets about Islam. That's good.

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That's it.

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visiting them once in a while, like you've moved in to this place. And

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you became a neighbor for like one or two years and you did not visit any one of them.

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Why not? I'm not asking you to go there every day. Because you say they are not Muslims. I don't I don't want them to.

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Once once in a while.

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Nothing wrong will happen.

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you anticipate the reward from Allah subhanaw taala.

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You do what it was this customer we known as a good neighbor. As long as it does not contradict Islam. Of course. That's very good.

00:38:56--> 00:38:56

Visiting the neighbor.

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Yeah, you just knock on the door and you give them something and that's it.

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Yeah.

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That's good. Yeah. Again, consider yourself the new neighbor.

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What do you like others to do to you?

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And you do it to the

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in Muslim countries, there are so many things.

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Whenever you needed something like there is a meal and you need salt and you don't have instead of going you're not coming your neighbor and they give it to you later on. When you have time you go and you purchase salt or bread. It's done always. And that's even nothing they don't even mention. Actually Muslim countries. This is what I see. One of the people who is like

00:40:00--> 00:40:13

He's little bit richer than others. He purchases something, it takes the license for it. And then he gives it for everybody. Just like imagine the cable. If the cable countries and Muslim countries they will go bankrupt

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because one man will give the entire the entire neighborhood

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they share everything good

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and that's the beauty of it. But nowadays you are living yes it is apartment complex but like you are living in a separate world

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but in Islam when you are with your neighbor, because here's the thing your neighbor may see you more than your relatives more than your brothers

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because you are there 24 seven

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Your house is there you don't move with us You are not physically there but you come and they see you they see you maybe in the morning in the evening in all different times while I cannot see you except in this time.

00:40:56--> 00:41:04

So they know more about until now the custom at least in the Middle East when someone proposes for

00:41:05--> 00:41:14

two to a lady for marriage they go and ask the neighbors because they know nowadays if you ask all the neighbors oh we don't know. Yeah, we see him

00:41:17--> 00:41:19

recently we have someone who

00:41:20--> 00:41:21

one of the neighbors came up

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about

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a complaint but they greeted and then did not reply. The greeting yeah

00:41:36--> 00:41:38

yeah, that's good. That's good.

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So there are many ways think of at least three four ways and start practicing them Ramadan is golden chance in Ramadan Have you ever thought about giving them dates? telling them that in Ramadan, we break our fast on dates? Or did you cook some meal and?

00:41:58--> 00:42:15

And the mother of time? And do you give it to them that could be a good introduction to talk about Islam by talking about Ramadan that this is what we do. We are fasting and or during the day celebration you give them some cookies you tell them we are celebrating decide we have been fasting for 30 days or

00:42:20--> 00:42:20

these are

00:42:22--> 00:42:23

easy things that you can do.

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And you will get tremendous reward for them.

00:42:31--> 00:42:31

Yes.

00:42:39--> 00:42:45

Well, here's the thing, it is subjective, the the neighbor how far you go the neighbor, as long as in the custom, this is a neighbor.

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You consider the neighbor because in Islam,

00:42:50--> 00:42:51

Allah mention

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the nearer neighbor, and the far neighbor as well. So it could be near and it could be far but as long as it's known as a neighbor, then is a neighbor.

00:43:04--> 00:43:10

One of the best things you do to the neighbor, you don't mention the shortcomings or you forgive

00:43:12--> 00:43:18

because we are human beings and we may make mistakes. Are you waiting until your neighbor does something wrong little bit wrong and then you

00:43:19--> 00:43:20

you pick on it.

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Tolerance is very important with the neighbors.

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Because again,

00:43:29--> 00:43:30

they are always there so it could happen.

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Yes.

00:43:41--> 00:43:45

The citizens, all of them? No, of course not.

00:43:46--> 00:43:47

4 million people.

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Of course.

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Not even the citizens of like the Southwest area.

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But to me because I consider maybe the people in the apartment complex in the entrance that I have not even in the other entrances. That's because that's the way where I go so people there they are my numbers four, five

00:44:11--> 00:44:12

apartments.

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The same thing if you have a house and there are houses on the right and on the left and then there is a street and after that they You see that? those houses are not really neighbors. Even if you go there and you tell them we are we are your neighbors you tell them your neighbors what we are across here

00:44:30--> 00:44:34

but while when you go to the next doors you tell them we are neighbors here they know and they understand

00:44:42--> 00:44:43

any questions

00:44:51--> 00:44:53

any questions about the neighbors or relatives

00:45:10--> 00:45:17

Yeah, you have many. But here's the thing, because people say we have many, so we will not do anything, do your best, try to do whatever you can.

00:45:19--> 00:45:21

And again, start with the nearest one.

00:45:23--> 00:45:27

Allow knows that you're trying and you're doing your best. And that's it.

00:45:40--> 00:45:42

of a mother, father, children.

00:45:46--> 00:45:48

In his time, there's a specific hierarchy that

00:45:51--> 00:45:51

sort of

00:45:55--> 00:45:58

the mother, father, your children,

00:46:03--> 00:46:10

your brothers, your sisters, and then those who share with from two sides, like from both father and mother than from one side.

00:46:17--> 00:46:18

Another question?

00:46:27--> 00:46:34

Well, they are not blood relatives No. And in the term of inheritance, also, they don't inherit.

00:46:37--> 00:46:42

And consequently, you don't have to join the kinship but being good to them also.

00:46:43--> 00:46:44

is recommended.

00:46:49--> 00:46:50

Well, why that's the question why?

00:46:53--> 00:47:00

Again, in this case, you say Oh, they are too much. So I will not do anything, no, do your best. You have 40

00:47:02--> 00:47:10

see who's close, who's, who's close to you, or Who's your Imagine you have someone here and someone far

00:47:11--> 00:47:12

and you cannot afford calling.

00:47:13--> 00:47:17

But the one who is here you can talk to him. So do this.

00:47:18--> 00:47:19

Do whatever you can.

00:47:27--> 00:47:36

At least if you have those cousins, if they are from your uncle, he joined the kinship of the uncle, and through your uncle, he can

00:47:37--> 00:47:40

convey your greetings your salaams whatever.

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Okay, that's it inshallah, stop here.