Ibrahim Nuhu – The Nikah
AI: Summary ©
The A to Zed of Serbia series provides examples of the importance of engagement during marriage, including privacy in marriage, gifts, and avoiding double-standing. They stress the need for strong legal agreements and avoiding double-standing, while also discussing the legality of marriage, including the legal right to marry a woman who is not her father or her mother and the importance of strong legal agreements. The speakers end with a brief advertisement for a follow-up session on the topic.
AI: Summary ©
Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala Rasulillah who Allah Allah He was so happy at mine. Am I bad? Salam alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh verhalen wa Sahlan mama haben Begum. I'd like to welcome all our viewers to our third session of our ongoing series on the A to Zed of Serbia, with our beloved che che Dr. Ibrahim? No. This is our third part of this ongoing series. Till now we've covered the potential points that you should look into when you're considering a spouse, the Sahara that's done the questions that you should be looking at the family of the spouse, and many such similar points. The part one and part two of the tarbiyah would be linked in the
description below. You could listen to that and we move forward inshallah. Jeff, this is Aquila hair for joining us today. It took quite some time to get here. We heard you had to fight some snakes on the way.
Yeah, have you managed to do is handle a desert No luck here for being here with us yet again. And we continue the series. So Jake, last time we left off when we were discussing about the finalization of people getting together the families have agreed what to do. And now we reached a stage where both the parties have agreed.
So is there such a thing called as engagement period from an Islamic perspective?
If Smilla Rahmanir Rahim, WA salatu salam ala Bucha Rahmatullah Amin and the vino habibi. Now Muhammad in said, Allahu, Allahu Allah, Allah, he also he will sell him a word.
With regard to the question about the engagement in Islam,
as I have mentioned previously, that marriage in Islam is very simple. It goes with the cultural practice of the people, as long as that culture doesn't violate any of the principles of Islam. And the issue of engagement is also based on the cultural practice of a people.
If you meant by the engagement, the promise and the agreement
by the parent of the girl, to grant the hand of their daughter to a particular person who is looking for that hand, this is not marriage, we call it
a record, Ill healthy
inclining towards the healthy by the parent, which
makes any possible person who's interested to that I mean, in that goal, you know, to stay away from any proposal that he can possibly you know, send to the parent, once the family gave the approval that this person is accepted and the let him continue with whatever he is intended. Then nobody is allowed to, to propose to that to that girl we met
during that period of time, no, they don't need to make it in public. They don't need to announce to any anyone. The only thing is, if somebody comes, they have to tell him that this person is engaged. We have already promised so on So Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam did not know about Abubakar, promising that boy to give him his daughter, Aisha Alana, that's why hola went to the house. She also was not aware of of this. Although she knows the family of Abu Bakr Radi Allahu Anhu. But she's not aware of that engagement. And that promise Bible will come to those family. That's why she went, when she asked her what kind of work I said, that is something between me and
those people. And as such, I cannot break my word. I really appreciate it and I want it to happen. But please just give me time to go and see how to settle this case, I'll come back to you. So the family of the girl don't need to announce to anyone if they do is okay. But they don't need to announce to anyone. But if somebody is to approach them, they should inform him that this girl is, is engaged. And if I know about the engagement, I'm not supposed to propose a hub to stay away from it. Unless if the person who is given the chance and the permission to look for the hand of that girl permits me to step investment he's going to step down which probably might not be possible.
Yeah, it would be very strange. You have to go and ask him first, and beg him to give you a chance to which will not happen. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said
lie
Hello Kumala bear, well I said what I have to say to the prophets a lot. So my said no, nobody is allowed to interfere, you know, to propose, you know any Oracle price or to propose to buy something from another person after the agreement between that person with with another buyer. And the same goes to the marriage, the prophets Allah sama said, if there is an agreement between the family and the sweeter, then nobody is allowed to, to go and break that agreement to propose himself. So engagement
during that period of time is not a marriage, she is still stranger to that person, he's not allowed to look at her. And he's not allowed to speak to her unnecessarily, unless if there is a need for that she's just a stranger, the only thing he has is the promise by the parent that they will give him the hand of their daughter at the end of the day. So this one is okay, because as I said, marriage in Islam is based on the cultural practices of the people as long as that culture is not violating any of the Islamic principles,
checks in this period now that the engagement has been agreed between the two parties, can the groom's family give some kind of gifts for the bride like a ring or something similar, that would showcase that they've locked in the bride for their son? Yeah, if there is any culture that has been followed by the people, when this happens, then people will be notified that the engagement already took place. And this culture is not an invitation to the culture practice of what you call
as a non Muslims, which usually is based on their religious practices, then it's okay we go with that culture. Whatever they give, we give the same thing. We follow that culture as long as the culture is not violating any of the principles of Islam. gifts to the to the bride. Yeah. Okay, generally.
Yeah. But they are not recommended. Twice? Yeah. Because usually, what happens is, if the family refuse to give the data to that person, it will be an issue. And the question remains, those gifts that He gave the bride, can he take them back? If the family disagree with him, and they don't want to give him because he was making those gifts? For the sake of marriage? This is very obvious, even if he says I'm doing it for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala is just a joke that the gift is for the sake of the marriage. So if the marriage did not happen, they refuse to give him is he allowed to take back his gift? Yeah. And the scholar said, yes, because initially that gift was given for the
sake of the marriage. They promised to give him a noun they are not given. So he does have a right to take back his his gift. Is it good for him to do that? No. But as far as right is concerned, he is allowed to take back his gift because he was doing it based on that promise, and they do not keep their promise. And as such, he does have a right to look for his his gift. So that's why we fall under the Hadith of the prophets. I seldom about the dog who eats up its own vomit for taking back the gift. Yeah, that's why I said it isn't appropriate for him to take it back. But we also look at the
the intention behind the gift. I come to the heat and I I tell you that this cup is yours as a gift. But you have to pay 10 That's not a gift. My word is it's a gift, you know, I use the word gift. So if you look at the action, in the context and the scene, you will conclude that this is not a gift. This is a business proposition. And as such in the court if I am to take you to the court, which will never happen but if I am to say Zion you have to pay me back and then you disagree. We go to the court. The judge will ask me about what I said to you. If this is confirmed, the judge if he knows Sharia, he will give me the right. You either give me back my my property or you pay what I've
told you to pay when I was given the gift to you. So Alamodome Eva Cassidy. This is the the Kira which is well established in Islam based on the scene of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam in the Malama Lu mini yet his intention with that gift is that the family will give him the hand of the goal and now they're not giving
you good idea. So we go with the intention. He was intended to get the wife and he did not get so can he take back his his gift? Yes, my right he has the right to take back his his gift but as I said you
I Will not you know advise anyone to take anything that he gave to a doll. And at the first place actually, I will not even advise him to make any any gift I managed to be made very simple. Two out of between the family and they agreed, and then set up a day to come for the marriage. When he called and as it whatever he wants to give us a gift, let him give it to her when she is under his his custody. That's better for him or included in in the mark since we are going to have the Maha Maha is also a California gift. Allah's Mercy is when terminal command Shane, you know, not enough son fabuleux. Walton Nyssa, Soto, Katarina Nayla.
So it's a gift that you are given to the wife, why can't a person just include whatever he wants to give to? I mean, to the I mean, in the Mahara and then pass it to her the same at the same time, and this will close a lot of pages because those gifts also will go to other than, than the wife. Yeah.
We also mentioned that the despite that there being an agreement of some kind that or a promise rather, that this marriage is going to happen.
We said that the bride is still as good as non Muharram for the groom till now. But
wouldn't it be correct to say it's not the same thing? She is still a level different as compared to the rest? No, she's not. She's still the same person she was before.
So what are the etiquettes? In this period? Right? Because usually what happens is when you
from a cultural perspective, when someone says, Okay, I'm engaged to get married to philon They already think that Okay, fellas, we're gonna get married. So there's the speaking and the talking and everything. So how do we navigate this? What are the guidelines for this engagement period, they restricted to the necessity. It is a kind of the rural and the need for a person to see the person that he wanted to marry. The Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam I said, Fine, No, Allah you them obey nakoma is wrong for a person to marry a woman that he never saw
the profit or loss of some asset, it is always better for you to know the person that you are planning to live with, because they will help you to stay with her. And that staying with her will last longer. Because you know, from the beginning, the person that you are going to be dealing within, in the past when you when you marry her. So
if you look at the Sharia of Allah subhanaw taala, looking at a woman, the opposite gender is haram, prohibited whatever the contemporary people are going to say, this prohibition remains until the day of judgment Allah swatter make it prohibited in the Quran, and the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, but then the door is open for that person alone. That's why he is the only one who is supposed to look, not his parent. You know, nowadays, in some cultures, and it you know what I'm talking about, you know, in some cultures, my father, if I wanted to marry, my father has to go and see the wife first. Only when he approves, and in some cultures also, it goes beyond the Father. It
goes to the brothers, at least the father after the marriage, he's going to become the Muharram to that, that says that I have married forever and ever Muharram but my brothers, my siblings, what is the connection between the man and the wife, but unfortunately, they also have to see the why first and approve, they have to induce Yeah, then I go on in my test, a big issue nowadays that we are suffering from Antigua, suffering. And if you try to explain to the people that Islamically this is wrong, they have their own opinion, they have the end, you know, what I'm talking about. So Islamically, the only person who is allowed to look at a sister who is not his Muharram is the
hottie
the hardship, the hardship, is the only one who is supposed to look at her, look at that which will attract him, you know, to marry this, this girl. So it's kind of harder on the ruler, originally, it is prohibited for him to look at that system, but because of the high budget the need, because we want this marriage to succeed and if he is to blindly marry the girl, he might face problem in the future socially tells him You are allowed at this moment to go and see, as soon as he sees that which attract him to marrying that girl. The system goes back to the original, what he call normality. ruling which is prohibited even he himself also is not allowed to look at look at the
girl after that. He just have to see that which will attract him to marry her. Then that's it as for talking and other things every single means in the way it was before. But since this is a marriage, there may be a lot of preparations which affects their marriage. The house as I said that, you know, he called her to talk to her about
Some of the unnecessary issues and restricts Himself to those necessities without engaging in chatting and laughing and they can speak directly to her that can speak directly to her, if there is a need for that he can speak directly to the girl, there is a need for that. But if there is no need for that, honestly speaking, it is not even good for him to do it. It's better for him to remain silent, she also remained silent, let this procedure remains until they meet each other, they will enjoy that. Otherwise, what is going on nowadays ZDC people have been, you know, engage in political communication and meeting each other for ages. That's why when they married, the marriage is not
going to be interested as it was intended. I mean, interesting when they have in that illegal relationship amongst them before before the marriage, so it's not good for him actually, to have that too much conversation between him and the one that he is planning to marry. So back to the question, she is a stranger to him. Engagement doesn't mean anything except a promise by the parent that we will give you, this daughter of ours in the future, according to the time that both of us agree. But in terms of ruling, she is the same as any other system in the street. Yeah. Because after the first look, if he is satisfied, if he's done then he can apply for the second one. And,
and does it once he is satisfied, then the door is is closed? Yeah, he cannot say Okay, whenever he needs to look when he initiate an intention that he's not satisfied, go and look again, and then come back. Yeah, that's why they said the another. Looking at the future wife, the one that you're intending to married is for Alice data, not for esteem tab.
If a person is looking every time he wants to look every time he asked for looking, and I will have doubt in this personnel. They said it is legal for Estela is to allow means you're looking for information to see what does she has, you know, whether you can stay with her or not. lel is some tap is not for enjoyment. That's where if a person look with intention of knowing who she is, but then unfortunately, enjoyment comes he couldn't control himself. Your idea he is not response, he's not held responsible, this is forgiving, because the root of the act is permitted. You know, and he did not intend the consequences, but it just happened. It's not intended consequences, but it just
happened a good idea, but as soon as they started, then he has to stop the looking and look for something, something else a good idea, but if he intentionally intended to enjoy at the first place, he will be seen with that login, because we have to block the means to today, because she is not his wife, she is silly, a strange one clear clear.
So, now moving to the next stage now, after the engagement period, now you would enter the contract of the nicaya itself. So could you let us know what would be the pillars are the requirements for the Nikka to happen?
There was a merger attended, you know, it took a few
few minutes, you know, in the man asked. That's it, I say.
Because through the Sunnah of the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam, we couldn't find other than this. Although culture also have a greater impact in the marriages. And Islam doesn't mind these cultural practices as long as they are not violating any of the principle that are firmly established in, in the religion. So what happens after everything is finalized, when they come to marry? The most important thing that is needed is the agreement of the wife, she has to agree whether she is
a matron widow, or she is a virgin, she must agree. Does this agreement have to be documented or just a verbal agreement is a verbal agreement is okay, the father or the mother or sister or anyone who can approach her? They asked her and she agree without pressure?
So I'm so and so is looking for your hand? Do you agree with this person to be your husband? And she gives an answer which is very clear to us, you know, or to whoever is asking her, because we just have to use the channel that she can speak to freely, freely tell that channel her opinion and happens and so if she agreed, then Alhamdulillah as the most important thing because we already know that the boy agrees. He also shouldn't be forced by his parents because in Islam, forced marriages. It's haram. It's haram to force anyone to marry somebody who he doesn't want to, to marry. So we have the agreement of the boy the agreement of the girl and the holy
of the girl agrees
the holy of the girl has to agree if he doesn't agree the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam I said, you might
not be ready even if he fennica bottle bottle bottle. Any woman that marries without the permission of the Walid, this Nica is bottle bottle bottle. And so how to live in in places where the mother was saying that she can marry somebody else by herself she can marry herself to somebody else without the intervention of the holy but practically you don't see them doing that they are any some of the harshest before in this regard, actually, you know, a girl if she's very herself to somebody without the permission of the family, she might lose her life. But then you begin to ask what happened to the mother they're talking about it's only good in the box is only good.
They can fight you might see a person fighting Yeah, this is the mother of she can but when it comes to his own daughter, he will never agree with how to go against what he called the Sunnah of the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam. So Ali is necessary after the Wali we need the shoot shaver just before going to the valley part, right.
For the valley itself, sometimes it happens that they are unnecessarily being difficult. What does a person do in such a scenario? You mean the bully is not willing to agree? Correct. And there's nothing wrong from the groom's side as well. Yeah, in this case, there is an advice. And there is a legal right Islamically legal legally, the girl has the right to move to the next week. Grandfather, Uncle Hassan, if he is having if he has a child, her brothers, anyone in the family from the side of her father, because these are the only replacing the Father because they're replacing the father, the father doesn't want to agree she moved to the grandfather, the grandfather doesn't want to agree
if there is another grandfather on top, she goes to that one, you will agree because there's one there really, because of the people and they marry early and they believe in this freedom sometimes. So she moves to the next rally. But unfortunately, all the Alia in the family are refusing to let her marry. I mean, this person will look into this person.
This person's life, we found him, okay. It doesn't have any, you know, concern when it comes to the we don't have any concern when it comes to his behavior and his religion.
There's no problem with demand. But they're just rejected maybe because of the race, maybe because of the color maybe because of the country, maybe because of the language or any of those things that people are welcome focusing on when it comes to marriage. So in this case, she does have a right to move to the salon, or anyone that the salon appoints to the with the marriages in the country, such as the judge, the judge can establish can establish the marriage between her and that person. And she is doing the correct thing. Islamically she's not disobeying her father. And in fact, the father is wrong in his decision to not let her marry somebody who is okay Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi
salam I said that a taco mentor Lola Dino will Holika who further with you, if you receive a person who you have no issue with his religion, and you have no issue with his manners and attitude is let him marry your daughter. And so Hala, this is the only way you know, you can relax, you know, when you give your daughter to somebody else say, say you says he said do not marry your daughter to anyone who's unrighteous. Because he's the only one who will respect how when he loves and when he doesn't like her, he will not harm. If he loves her, he respects her. But if he doesn't like her, he will not harm her. This is the kind of person we need. That's why religion is necessary. Because
we're human beings, sometimes we like sometimes we like but this person because he fears Allah, he observed the Sharia of Allah subhanaw taala in dealing with a goal and his wife, whether he's happy or he's not happy, he's not happy. It doesn't matter. The law of Allah subhanaw taala hysteria has to be applicable in the house whether he's happy or not. So the prophets Allah, Allah Azza wa said, do not refuse to marry that person when he comes. So if we realize that the family are just rejecting for a silly reason, she has a right to go to the the court and the judge has a right to marry her to that person and she's not disobeying the parent, but this is the legal right. She can
do this. But if a person is to ask me, my personal advice, I will tell her try convince the parent before
you will lie. It's not easy to live a life where you cannot come back to your parent, even as a brother, and I'm not even talking about the sisters. This one is more difficult. The sister doesn't have a link and a connection and place where she can report her cases. You know, if the husband dies, Where does she go? You know
If let's say the marriage doesn't work or succeed, you know, she's going to be divorced sometimes. Where does she go? You know, all of these things, we have heard stories which are really negative, which forced me to always advise whoever asked me, What should I do, I will tell them Be patient, try your best resist, do not accept the one that is not qualified, although it is introduced by your parent, but still don't accept that person, but at the same time, do not marry without the permission out of the fear that in the future, the marriage might not what he calls succeed, and the NGO will get into, into trouble. So there is an advice and that is what we call a legal right that a
person has I learned this from Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihe Salam, one very well rejected her husband, and the prophets and the husband really loved her so much. So the prophets Allah Allah sama sees the way this husband is even crying, and he doesn't mind to follow her in the street, you know, and bury her in front of everyone. Please, please agree with us to go back to the marriage but she doesn't want because she was asleep. And he's asleep. And is the story of Mary.
And movie. So if the if, if one of them get the freedom, especially the sister, she has a right to divorce the husband. So when she heard that,
she said he also lied. This is my wife said yes. He said,
God, immediately she divorced her husband, she doesn't want to stay with him. So that you can understand why in Islam at the local limit
BISAC
divorce is placed at the hands of the person who has the power in the house and that's the husband. Yeah, because the husband before he devotes, he thinks a lot although nowadays the divorce becomes like drinking water, but in the past and wherever, you know, alcohol, you know, things that are properly.
Brothers before the divorce, they think a lot
to look around because you have to go through, you know, another difficulty for you to get another wife, financial expenses, and also so many things are involved. But the wife are emotionally so this is more emotional than the brothers. What can lead the brother to divorce, if it is having a brother will think a lot before he finalized the divorce but a sister might not wait. She just divorced the person. So this sister she told the province a lot listen to her it was so the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,
when he sees the way this man was
fighting for that marriage to come back again. Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi salam I told her Marina Lola jaati Why can't you just let him come back to the marriage? She said he also la hetta morani Um, to hear Alia she said he also lie. Are you commanded me? Or you just advise him? He said I'm just advised.
And then she decided to take her right because she knows that there is a legal right. She has which is the divorce. She can finalize it and that's it. So she said yes, well, I don't want him and the Prophet sallallahu Elisa did not fight her in that right, which she has. So there is a right and there is an advice also, a person might be having a legal right. But you will tell him advice
advisedly it is not advisable for you to go with this. So this is my advice to any sister who is facing these challenges. And we have a lot these days a lot a lot, unfortunately, and a sister who is facing these challenges, to be patient to resist and to try every single means to convince the parent to at least agree with the marriage, even if they're not happy, but to at least agree so that she can have a backup
when something happens she comes back they will accommodate and accept her they will blame a lot but they will still accept her and this is better for her than doing the marriage without their permission checks going back to the conditions that we were discussing, we said that there needs to be the agreement of the groom the agreement of the bride and then we have the permission of the Wali okay then
the rest these are all you know, advice I always give that a person shouldn't
marry without the permission of his parent. You know as a brother, your father whether he agrees your mother whether she agrees or not. If you are to marry the marriage is legal Islamically wali is not required for your marriage as a as a man. You know, it is only a requirement when it comes to marry sister.
So is it good for a person to marry without the permission of his parent? No, it is not.
is absolutely not good. For here we're talking about the
groan, yeah, I'm talking about the group, it is not good for him to marry, if his father doesn't want it, or his mother doesn't want it by right, he has a right to go ahead and do. If that woman qualifies, he does have a right to, to marry. But it is not advisable to do. And that's why parents should be very careful, you know, should understand that this person is the one who is going to be living with this wife. But unfortunately, most of the parents nowadays, don't want to understand, I'm not saying they don't understand, no, they don't want to understand that this person is going to be the one who will be living with this girl, they are not the one who will be living with her. And
as such, they should let him choose whomsoever he wants, and ask Allah subhanaw taala, to bless the marriage and support him in that, so that he can make a success. So what happens is that as if a person married without the permission of his parents, I'm talking about the guru, and Subhanallah, you will be living with your parents, they just want to see you, but they don't want to see your wife. And this is going to affect your relationship with your wife. Because trust me, at the first part of the marriage, she will not mind that much. But
as far as the time goes, there will be a time when she sees the amount of the hatred from half your parent, you know, to how that is going to affect your relationship with with her also. And then of the day, she might start to resist, you know harshly and her behavior towards your parents is going to be very negative, which will also provoke your anger towards towards her. So it's not good for a person to marry without the permission of his of his parent. And the same goes to the mother of the goal. If the mother is not happy with the marriage, a person should pose a bit, try to see how to convince the mother of the golfers before the marriage. Because trust me, some of the mothers, they
have a bigger influence on their daughters, she might create a lot of problem for you in the house through the daughter. And the things which you will be saying, which the daughter might be convinced, and that creates a lot of headache, you know, for you in in the house. And also it's not good for you to visit your in laws, but you know that the mother doesn't want to meet you and she didn't want to see you. She's not happy with her. And she's not happy with that seeing you in the in the place, you will never feel comfortable. So that's why I always say that these five pillars that I, I always mentioned is another pillars of marriage. But these are the components that I advise a
person not to marry if one of them is not in agreement with that, with that marriage. The Gulf, the bride, her parent, and your parent. Any one of them who disagree with the marriage is good for a person to pause a bit. Don't give up. But keep fighting and be patient. delay the marriage a bit until the time you get everyone on the same page with you. Cha cha ching going on going back to the Nikka itself. What are the requirements for the Nicca to be considered valid? Yeah. So we mentioned the Wali and we mentioned the agreement of both
the boy and the girl. And the next one is should
we need only to minimum to say according to the best opinion of majority of the scholars we need should because that hadith says we're Shahid Illa. Allah, you know Ushahidi,
the prophet returned any specific gender for the witnesses?
The best is to bring the witnesses from the brothers. Yeah, because what
the reason why the witnesses are established is because we want to avoid people accusing that person of having a relationship with a strange woman. And usually those who goes out in business and all of these things are the brothers although nowadays things are changing. So shy, they are the norm is this show this show who they are from? From the brothers? Yeah. So you have two brothers to witness the event. At least two brothers. The Maliki's callers, you know, they prefer actually la LAN. Lan means making the marriage what he call
known to the community. Public isn't that the Vailima know what he means is something else. Announcing the marriage will Emma is part of that announcement, but to make it public, you know, to tell people to use any any means, you know, to announce it. That's much stronger than the witnesses because you have only two witnesses. But if you announce the marriage to the community, everyone knows that. So on so on, so person is married, even if they don't know the wife, but they know he's married. So tomorrow when they see him with a girl, they will not have that negative
perception about, about about him. Yeah, so it is necessarily a Laila and that's why secret marriage in Islam is haram for person to marry in secret, but it has to be announced in the place where the marriage is, is taking is taking place. So we need this should shy the added. And also if we need the marriage to be to be announced to the to the people and the prophets of Allah Allah sama for this purpose he allowed that people can use sisters can use a dove. It says well, the river Allah He the food so they can use the basis, the place where the vast majority of the scholars agree that they could be used out of all of the musical instruments. You know, this is the only exception to
Professor lollies like game, when there is a marriage for people to use that kind of musical instrument alone, specific to the sisters only for the sisters, for sure if they use it, the brothers also can hear right because they cannot. This is the sound that comes out. Right? But it is not meant for the brothers. That's why it is just supposed to be done. And then the case is is close. They cannot record it. And then people won't listen to it from time to time. No, it doesn't work like that. It is only for that moment of time. And after that then is over. They're not supposed to use it the prohibition goes back to its original form. Because is haram Islamically is
haram. publ. is haram. The drum is haram and is haram but the prophets Allah so Allah gave an exception for the sisters during the marriage. Yeah. The other exception, which some scholars
mentioned, you know, is,
I guess chefmaster also in his book, to have you allow upon.
He was mentioned in this second moment when a young boy young girl is playing with the diff on the DL rate. But we have to see the context here. You know, the boy or the girl, the young before the age of maturity, they brought the from anywhere. They started playing on the day of eight, we just close our eyes. We don't have we don't we don't take the day off and give it to them. But if they come and play, we keep quiet in the windowsill as alasa did, but we don't pass it to them and tell them one play with them. Because this is a no we don't do that. Yeah, but if we see them do it. We just keep quiet. This is exactly what the process allows somebody because he never asked people to
take different give to the kids so that they can play when they do have eight. But that event happens when they found a girl came and she was playing with the dog in the presence of Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam and he wasn't listening to him. He was between asleep and awake when a boy came and said Salah salam ala Rasulillah you know, the girl ran away when she threw it away. And that means the community, Muslim community at the time knows that these things are wrong to be played. And then he told the prophets Allah Azza wa Salam is Maurice Chapin. Next to us hula is Allah's he call it miss Mara shaytan. If it is wrong, Rasul Allah sama will tell him and we will carry you
along. But he did not correct that statement. That's why the scholars use this hadith, contrary to the way the Liberals are using it, to say that this is one of the greatest evidence that shows the dove is also haram because when he called me Smartsheet, and the prophets Allah sama did not make any correction. And we know that Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam and never kept quiet when there is something going on in the wrong in the wrong way. So sisters can use it on their marriage. And they can use it to announce the marriage, as I said, because one of the main purpose of having that marriage in that way and the shoot is the marriage to be in public knowledge to be in public. And as
I said, secret marriages in Islam
is all you know, usually when the
do people do secret marriages, and they're already married? Yeah, when they already married, he wants a second marriage to another place. And the funniest one I heard is the one that married in
humanity in Riyadh. And his second wife, the first wife is in another state in Saudi Arabia. So he was having the second marriage in Riyadh. And the first one doesn't know about about it. So he was complaining to his friend that said, Suhana law before he even meets the second wife, after the marriage, the first wife knows about the marriage.
And then, so he was with a friend asked him this marriage, how does it happen? He said, This is a secret marriage, we try to make it in secret. He said how many people attended that marriage? He said only 400 people.
So the guy replied to me, he said do you think those 400 People are sheep in front of you?
And so Had Allah so so this secret marriage is haram because it has a lot of Subhanallah negative consequences. People die. You know when inheritance comes this family are claiming the inheritance and the other family will say we don't know
You know, all of these things will happen, you know, a person left the life and leave this fitna amongst the families. Yeah. And also, if they don't know who they are, there might be a marriage between them because they are in another state. And this one, nobody knows who is who, unless if he gave them those see, oh, they think properly and look for the other family and introduce themselves, you know, and do it in the very legal way. Otherwise, you know, you might find somebody from this family, Marian from the other, the other family that's big, muscular, yeah, that's why Islam don't tolerate this eight is watching, for marriage to be announced, at least in the priests in the place
where the marriage is, is taking place. There are for instance, personality. In India, the ACA took place in India, that was the place where the marriage should be, should be announced. He's going to live in another country in Saudi it doesn't need to tell everyone you know, yeah, of course, who close friends you know, tell them that he married and that one usually according to the norm, he has already informed them that he is going to is going to
check coming back to the Nikka part itself. Right. So, usually, you will see along with these people that we mentioned, you'd also have any mom or someone we missed one
one requirement in the act of the watch with the MA Yeah, it has to Mara has to be there. Yeah. So, this the agreement, the only the shoot and then the Maha, which is supposed to be given by by the husband. And then does it enable COBOL to Java COBOL is that the Wali is saying to the to the group, as the watch to cave, Nettie in any language, not necessarily Arabic language, in any language, marry you, my daughter, you know, Allah Maha COVID, hookah upon a Maha which is
estimated as so and so amount. So if you say this and then the brother says
COVID Accept. That's it.
manages that.
Jake, if you're just backtracking a bit, right when he spoke about Mahara? Why is there Mahara in the first place? Because a lot of the time you get questions like Is this some kind of a transaction where the groom is paying some kind of money and then he's getting a bride in return? Or what's the benefit of even having Mahara in the first place? First of all, Mahara is there because of the Sharia of Allah subhanaw taala. And it is always good to understand this fact, correctly, that the real wisdom behind any Riba in Islam is that this is a command from Allah subhanho wa taala. Because sometimes when you go deeper, if Allah did not tell us the wisdom, we believe there is a wisdom in
any of the commands of Allah subhanaw taala there is no command that ever came from Allah without wisdom, because not having wisdom and objective and doing things is playing and Allah doesn't play. There is the wisdom behind anything that Allah is mortal ask us to do. But sometimes Allah subhanaw taala might not, you know, expose this wisdom to us to test our obedience. Do it like this, we just have to do it like that, whether we understand the wisdom or not, but let's call us however, they said one of the wisdom
and the reason why Maha is supposed to be there is to differentiate between marriage and Sefa. That's why the MaHA is going to be
given not to the wife directly, you know, in front of our parents, schools and people who are there. Xena is not like that. Xena is between the girl and the person. He enjoys whatever he wants to enjoy, and then he pays her for that with equal enjoyment. That's why even the prophets Allah Azza wa call is Muhammad that money that he's given to the
to the to the prostitute, Sister Rosa Lhasa call it modern buddy Maha Maha given to a prostitute sister. They get it because they almost look similar, except that the one we do in Islam. It is after the agreement to let them marry which is based on responsibility. You know that one is just Xena enjoying and then going but marriage in Islam is enjoyment and responsibility.
enjoyment as manager is not just based on love and all of those shallow things. No, it's a heavy responsibility.
heavy responsibility between the husband and the wife. So he is paying that money after the agreement by the parent and by how that they are willing to stay forever and ever together. That doesn't mean he cannot divorce but the intention to stay in that marriage has to be has to be there which is different from from from Xena. It can be no time restraint in the Monica contract. There is no there shouldn't be if this if this stipulated time then it will become moto. Yeah the one that is prohibited in Islam and
The only sects that legalize it, to my knowledge, they are the Shia. They're the only one who make it illegal, you know, so that they can continue what they call legalizing Zina, but
according to them through the, the religion, right, and that's why you have a lot of Shabaab being deceived, you know, to accept the she's in because they have this enjoyment free of charge, you can marry a sister just for one second, one minutes one day, you know, the Center said it was he said, You know, so so so if there is a simple stipulation of a time, you know, to stay in that marriage, you do become motor if both family you know, are aware of this stipulation, but if the husband is only one who knows that he is going to divorce this girl, according to the best opinion, this is marriage that is called as Awaji Binya talaaq, marriage with the intention of divorce. According to
the best opinion, this marriage is haram is cheating. Nobody will accept to for his daughter, even those who do it and so Hanalei, it opens the door of another facade, you have young boy, as a as a young man, as it will also mean mentioned, you know, who are going to the Western Community just to marry and divorce. And that's why nowadays we hear about children being born, you know, out of that marriage, you know, and they don't know who their parents are, say, yeah, so this is none other than Zina when a person goes to a place just to marry, you know, for the secret of the divorce, marry, and divorce. You know, this is Xena. And this is cheating and deception, which has no place in the
religion of Allah subhanho wa taala. It is not haram for a person to divorce, but at the first place, he has to be honest. And this is Subhanallah, destroying the life of a person. Because they were living at a time, which is totally different from the time of the companions of the Prophet sallallahu sallam, you see the term of the companions of the Prophet, Allah. So if a girl or a woman lost her family, somebody is going to take up, this is who they are, they don't leave
a goal, you know, wandering around without having somebody to take her under his custody, but women living in this time nowadays, if a girl lost her husband, to find somebody to marry her after that, sometimes it might be, you know, impossible for her, you know, she has to remain like this for the rest of her life. Why is it? I mean, how can I legalize, you know, for somebody to go and marry her knowing that he's going to divorce her after a few days, and then she has to go back to the family,
looking for somebody to take her but debris, and if she finds somebody, she has to compromise a lot, she has to compromise a lot. So this is cheating, and deception, and also something which is not acceptable. Islamically so they have to have the intention of staying. If in the future, something happens and he wanted to divorce. It's okay. It's okay for him to divorce. Nobody says he has to stay. Of course she doesn't want the marriage she can apply for the whole they get separated. And that will be verified. Insha Allah shell. She's speaking about the Mahara itself as a condition for the Nica Is it a condition or can the MaHA be delayed given later after the Nikka has been
completed? Because triplets in the Mahara mentioning the MaHA is a necessity in a marriage. It has to be there. Whether he pays it now or he pays late later. It's okay according to whatever she agrees with if she says she agrees with the marriage to be paid later, then it's okay for him to be the MA later. But it has to be mentioned, either in the MMA or between him and the way that you're going to pay this man which to go agrees it has to be mentioned. It is always better for him to make some what they call commitment, pay some part of the model, and then later on, he can pay the rest of the security.
The time of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi salam ala that sister who gave that companion who gave herself to the Prophet salallahu Salam Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, Mary how to somebody else that person did not pay the Maori yet, but he's going to teach Quran in the future.
Now this means Matt Maher could be delayed because he didn't say teach her the Quran first and then we make it as Mr. But he says, We agree that you will marry her but you teach her the Quran but the teaching of the Quran will lead the MaHA saying the stipulation of the Mahara is what's necessary but actually Mahara can be given later can be given later on, it is better for him to give some part of it no matter how much small it is, yeah, then they will rationalize better for them also to mention it during the awkward sort of people witness in the future, if there is a clash between them that the matter is this and that, we have the witnesses, it can be included as part of the contract
itself should be actually if there is any written contract, it should be included. The matter is this amount.
So the contract itself writes it should
So it's not necessary that it has to be written, documented, but it could be something verbal as well. In Islam in Islam, actually the second one, the verbal agreement, if he says, the words, and other ones he's coupled to, that is should that is really does it? Yeah, marriage happens Islamically this person can have relationship with the spouse can have children with her can see with her, this is his wife, like any other wife on Earth. However,
if the government in the country where he lives required this documentation, the documentation is not marriage at all, is just a recognition of the government. And they're doing it for wisdom, which has wisdom behind it, it's good to have that kind of documentation, because we have people going around with other sisters, you know, and they will think that these are the wives. So that documentation is necessary to have the management documented.
And the government should make it very simple. For 12, people can find it very, very easy. But unfortunately, almost all the countries you find marriage between a person and somebody who is not a citizen, is a bit tough and difficult by the government, which is not supposed to be there. Because it creates a lot of problems with the children who are going to be born between these
spouses, because if she's not a citizen, and he's a citizen, then when it comes to the restriction of the marriage, sometimes the government will not agree with that money to be registered. Although nowadays Alhamdulillah people started
redressing the matter, this door has been rectified and have the law on the law. So documentation of the marriage is good,
is good. It has
wisdom behind it which it goes with the muscle, it goes with the muscle so a person shouldn't stay away from from it. It's good for him actually two documents the marriage after, after it happens. Yeah, but the actual marriage in Islam is what happens between the the Wali and that Guru and the Mahara and shoot and as it eventually becomes a wife, whether they documents the marriage or not, but she's, she's the wife. So we're seeing that the Wali can conduct the marriage himself. And we don't need to ask for a shake to come in and give a
there is no need for that and studied for that. As far as this is concerned. There's no need for that. These are just cultural practices. And it's okay also because people sometimes go to the prophets, Allah Azza Minh, he will be the one who acts as the Willie. Yeah, so having a middleman as a shear scholar and somebody to introduce the marriage and then the willie will give the, what he called the hand of the daughter. That one is fine, verify. But in all circumstances, the Willie is supposed to be the one who will say, I marry you might daughter and the groom will say accept an offer. At the hotel for the new car. Dolly can do it by himself if he wants. Well, that's a
necessity. It's not necessary, but it's not good for a person to stay away from it. Rasulullah sallallahu I used to teach them the hot button had stayin away from the Sunnah of the Prophet Allah Azza is no good. It doesn't bring good at all.
is good for them to begin their marriage with this hotbed of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam in that Hamdulillah I would want to stay in order. So what are we learning? And surely I'm fussing over Mr. Yachty I'm Melina when you had the law firm with the law Oh my usual fella Haryana. Mashallah. Illa illa Allahu Allahu la sharika washer on the Mohammed and Abdi who was who you are living in political la caja quality you will have to move to lay low and to Muslim you another Taqwa community halacha commonness in wider halacha Mina Xhosa over seminoma vigil and cathedral one is what talking hola Lolita, Serena Viva la Hama in the LA carnality como la Kiva. Then find a subtle Hadith you
could have a low SML how do you how do you Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam or Shirley Morley Martha to our color manifesting vida. We're cool with that in Valhalla are collaborating phenol, then they will eat she just go ahead. Yeah, he might have some word to say but this hautbois shouldn't be the first thing to be said in that marriage. Yeah. And last Maha Rotella insha Allah will bless that Marisha it is always necessary that these type of agreement which part of our existence, a person to let Allah smarter get involved from day one. That's why unnecessary and haram things shouldn't be attached to the marriage.
Any I have no doubt in some of the clashes and the problems that are taking place in our marriages in the future. They are related to this because we begin the marriage with the Massey
music and dancing and all of these inappropriate things that are taking place you know, at the end of the day, we want Allah smarter to bless the marriage how
Yeah, how? Allah Allah Allah Allah Maria alas Mahabharata does whatever he wants and is the most merciful but Allah said of a condition, you want him to get involved, you have to do the things in the right way.
May Allah grant us good. I mean, I mean, check coming back to the point of the Mahara, who decides the Mahara? Is it the bride herself? Or is it the Wali? The bride
is an absolute right of the bride. The father doesn't have any right.
She can stipulate whatever she wants. He she's the one who should be consulted. This is how many there's a gift from the husband to her. And this is what legalize him enjoying that part of her body in in the future. She's the one who will decide it doesn't make sense. That person take them out of his daughter, and she's gonna go to that person. Why
Maha is her right. She does whatever she wants, she takes the MaHA she wants to pass it to the parent is up to her. She will take it back to the husband is left while she want to give it to anyone.
We mentioned about announcing the Nica so if you are inviting people for the Nicca or even the walima later on usually you have a wedding cards that are sent out to the people would that be fine specially as we see that a lot of the wedding cards they have Chronica or maybe I had this on them so how do we navigate that? No we should we didn't card okay for person to send the court inviting people. It's okay as part of the announcement also, it goes with the objective of the Sharia in marriage, it announces the marriage more and the other thing is people should avoid writing it out of the Quran because we already know in our houses sometimes we throw kids playing with and this is
Quran somebody is playing with this is absolutely unacceptable. So to avoid this is not to do so let's if you're going to do the digital ones, digital ones because they don't exist it's just like the Quran on your phones. This one doesn't exist unless if you invite it and you can just close it. Yeah, that's it. So this one you can write whatever you want to write it's okay for you to write because usually these ones are not disrespected person will just look and then close that page after you close it. It doesn't exist by break my phone I will not see that Quran I will not see.
You get it contrary to the papers, that when I send the card that one remains, my kids are going to play with it you know and sometimes also I might put it in a place which is not appropriate. And no matter how much you try to say that people might not do it. No they do. You know you yourself also if you look at your life, sometimes also you have these negatives. So the first place we shouldn't put the ayat of the Quran
put some nasheet some poetry, some wisdom, you know, mentioned by some scholars, you know, that's it, but not the ayat or the Sunnah of the prophets and love of cinema these two
things must be respected, must be respected, shall I
say coming to the more juicy are part of the conversation? Or what are the extra conditions that a wife can stipulate in the Nica contract, only one condition which is which is to fear Allah subhanaw taala in dealing with her in his responsibility and giving her her right he has to feel Allah subhanaw taala this is the condition that I will advise any sister to stipulate that and to emphasize and to focus on this so much. Any other condition, I will advise how to stay away from it. marry somebody who feels Allah subhanaw taala and just act as a wife, who follows her Husband, husband is living in Malaysia. Later he got a job in Saudi, he wanted to live go with him. He got a
job in another country, not the non Muslim countries. If it is the non Muslim country, she has to resist, because teen in those places is very dangerous for her and the future family, then she can resist, she can fight for this. So this kind of condition also couldn't be stipulated in the marriage, although it is part of the fear of Allah subhanaw taala. If she says that and he fears Allah, He will not do it. But if he's afraid of him doing this in the future, she can bring it out. I will not go to a non Muslim country. We have to write this that the day you want to take me out of this country. If it is not to a Muslim country to a non Muslim country, I will not agree to go and I
do have a right to stay wherever I want to stay. Yeah. And then in the future, if he wants to go to that place, he doesn't feel Allah subhanho wa Taala then she does have a right to take him to the to the court and the judge is going to give her the right for a separation if he's insistent. Other than that, I don't advise any any other question to be stipulated
I cannot take me out of the place cannot do this kind of job cannot marry in the future cannot stay in this, this and that all of these things bring tragedies in the future because what happens is the husband because he's so blind, we're always like that, you know, in the marriage, I see nothing except that woman. I just want to marry. Yeah, that's why whatever conditions she said, agree. Yeah, just like the installation next, next next, I agree. Yeah. And then in the future, marriage is going to become normal between us. When the marriage become normal, this is when that person will start thinking about
those conditions and by agreement that he and the words he gave the wife in the future in the past
and then breaching the agreement will come and then issues. It is always like that as I that's why I really don't advise anyone to have or to accept any condition other than the condition that last mile Rotella mentioned in marriages taking care of the wife doing the right thing in taking care of her feeling the last mile return and how these are the conditions that are supposed to be stipulated other than that I advise
groom not to accept any other conditions because most likely you will not be able to fulfill them in the future. Can
a woman stipulate that she will require a certain amount of stipend or an allowance every month or something like having a separate place of her own these kinds of stipulations. Are they allowed? Yeah, in terms of halal and haram? Yes.
And whatever is halal in Sharia she can request evaluated okay. Yeah. What is powerful how to request is something which is impermissible Islamically. It is haram open how to request that or state in a condition that amount to legalize in something that is haram in Islam or
making something haram which is halal Islamically these conditions are supposed to be rejected because the Hadith of the prophets of Allah sama is very clear on this. When the prophets Allah Allah cinema said, it says Kulu certain lesufi kitab Allah He for whom a bottle bottle bottle were in Cana me at a sharp Kava Kava Allah who are shorter like when the Malala Illuminata. In the case of the Allah, the Prophet, Allah Allah sama said, if there is a condition, even if this condition is stipulated 100 times, but unfortunately, this condition violates any of the Sharia principles, the prophets, Allah Azza wa said this condition is useless and invalid. It is like something that
doesn't exist. It says the condition there's the decision of Allah smart and the outcome of Allah subhanaw taala is executed and has to be executed and is is on top of any other outcome. So these type of conditions are not permissible for the wife or the husband actually to stipulate them. But if there is anything that is halal, Islamically I want this amount of money every month, I want this type of place, you know, and the husband agrees is okay, he has to keep those conditions intact. But is it advisable for the wife to do that? Not Not at all?
Not at all. And I will advise anyone who approached me asking me should I accept these type of conditions? I will tell him No, don't. Yeah, because No, I'm okay. I have the money to give. But how do I know in the future, whether it will be able to do it at all? And the moment I am not able she might not understand and clashes and problem will start to happen. And also add to that Marian a person who showed you from day one that we are with you as long as this money is then what kind of marriage is this and who are you looking for? You know, as soon as Allah Allah Salama says alikhan Bill Akari for Inola one one Taqwa Harmon, what are the BDC he says when you marry, marry, big a
virgin, girl, young girl, is if I know now about one because when they speak, their speech is fresh. Fresh means they don't say bad things a lot. You know.
They talk moderately in a nice way.
Somebody that you can sit down with them and make a plan. You know, it's like the brain is empty. You feed it with whatever you you want. So the prophets Allah Allah Surma said, You marry the Virgin person, she has this shyness. She talked appropriately. You know, I don't know nowadays whether we have a Shall I said have been the law as it says for another 401 Takahama. And also the womb is clean because she never had lationship with somebody. So the womb is clean.
That's better for the plantation of, of a child. What are the billion C's. And these are the one that usually agree to stay with you with the little you have, you know, you don't have that much of salary, but they don't mind. The point is they have something to eat and survive.
But this guy's mad in a person who set up a condition from the beginning and she showed him that she stayed with him because of the dunya. I will tell you, honestly speaking, this person did not do the correct search for the first place.
did not do the correct search in the first place is good for a person to marry a woman that is moderate, and that is willing to live with him according to his ability and capability whatever he has, she will just restrict herself to to that without looking for something as such, if she is to ask for this salary to be given to her every month, part of his salary should be given to her every month, I will advise him not to accept this condition is better for him to look for another medical person rather than going with this because he doesn't know in the future, whether she will I mean, he will be able to continue or not.
Check building on the conditions of permissibility and impermissibility.
Many people would also use the incident that happened between the prophets of salaam Ali and Fatima of adding a condition to the contract of not getting a second wife. What would you
I don't know where they get this because to my knowledge or skill So Laurie cinema did not have this
condition with Alexander Vitali. Otherwise I don't think I live in Italy who would think of marrying somebody after telling the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam I not? I will not do I don't know not not as a condition. But the incident that happened where he mentioned about angering Fatima and what angers her anger is the prophets are seldom and there was an indication of not taking a second wife. There was the Prophet sallallahu alayhi salam did not have this stipulated in the marriage in the marriage. I live in Abu Talib.
He should know that you cannot marry a second wife. I've never come across a place where this is mentioned. But when Oliveira Vitaly decided to marry the second wife and also the second wife is the daughter of Abuja to get it, so the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam out of his love for alumina, Vitaly
and he knows that this is going to harm Ali inevitably. Why? Because Shanti mas anger will make the prophets Allah some are upset, however upset the Prophet sallallahu Sallam is gonna affect that person who is upsetting him. So that's why Rasulullah sallallahu cinema told him no, this person promised me and he's referring to our laws, you know, never break his promise. And he's told him letters to me when I tried to Allah might have been
Have you like as Rasulullah. So he says, the daughter of the doula cannot be combined in one place with the daughter of the Prophet of Allah subhanho wa taala. There is a reason why the prophets Allah was telling him this, this is to protect him.
Not because the marriage is not permissible he himself he did. And almost all the companions of the Prophet allows them also had second wife. But this is just a special case that if Ali is to go and marry, it might harm him because Fatima might get upset because of some of the things that will happen. And the prophets, Allah server may get upset because of that which will harm Ali, even though I'm Italian, so it is not.
I mean, it's not supposed to be used as a reason why people reject the second second marriage, the last one to legalize it, and it will remain illegal until the Day of Judgment. Check. But for the sake of the argument, let's say that a person stipulated this in the Nikka contract, and it's something permissible, so the person agreed the groom agreed to stay away from what's permissible. It's now stipulated in the Nikka contract, what did we find out? It depends on who a person is following because you know, most of the scholars disagree with these type of conditions to be stipulated because they see them as something which is
making haram that which Allah's Mattila made Allah, we're not making it haram. We're just staying away.
Those people who agreed with the conditions will say they're not making it haram. But those the majority of the scholars will say no, because what does it mean if you tell him you are not allowed to to marry? Yeah, don't make an attempt to everyone but to this person what I do, you're making it haram upon him to use it. That's how they say it. And this is correct way of thinking that if you tell them you are not allowed to do it, what does that mean?
It is haram
upon him to
or they call it is haram upon him to to marry the second wife and Allah subhanaw taala make it legal. So that's why they said, these type of conditions are not permissible, this opinion of the vast majority of the scholars at the first place. And as such, the husband is allowed to violate them in the future whenever he wants and the wife doesn't have a right to destroy the marriage and go and marry somebody else this opinion of the vast majority of the scholars in however, as I said,
I don't think doesn't the violation go against the first I also reminder, Alphaville ACOTA, right. Yes, yeah, that's what those people might say. But the majority of the scholars will tell you that the prophets Allah, Allah selama said, you can go ahead and set up any condition you want. But you are not allowed to mention any condition that goes against the Sharia of Allah subhanaw taala. If Allah says yes and no condition to say, no, that condition is useless. This is what they are saying.
That Sharia recognizes the one that doesn't violate the Sharia of Allah subhanho wa taala. So they see this occurred. So they see this condition as something that violates the Sharia of Allah subhanaw taala. And as such, they disagree with this condition to be to be stipulated at the first place. But as I said earlier aside, I don't see any justification for somebody to accept conditions like this at the first place. Yeah, because this is a deception, honestly, speaking, is deception. Because the wife is agreeing to stay with him, because he gave her his word that he will not marry again. Why do I need to go with this? How many sisters you have on Earth,
millions of them who did not marry? Why only this one, she said, she doesn't want to stay with you if you have another wife. And this is her choice Islamically. It is not watchable for her to marry somebody who has another wife. And it is not watching upon her to accept to stay with somebody who has a wife, it is an absolute freedom of choice, you know, for her to choose the person that she wants to be whether he has a wife, or he doesn't have a wife, so I'm not allowed to force her to do it. So if she tells me that I can only agree with you to be my husband, if you agree with this, why would I agree with this? If I know that in the future, I'm going to marry another person, why she's
giving me permission to approach her to touch her because of me agreeing with this condition. At the first place? Why would I agree with this, you know, that's absolutely cheating. You know, cheating or not being honest with the with the wife at the first place, they get either whether we accept the opinion of the vast majority of the scholars or we don't agree with them, or we accept the other one. But let's do a look at what he called the condition itself from the root. Is it okay for a person to accept it, I really, really, really see it as something which is not appropriate for a person to accept those conditions in the first place. If she doesn't agree, just let her go.
Tell the family, it's straightforward that I don't agree with this condition. Even if he knows in the future, he is not having an intention to marry. I always advise a person not to agree with this type of conditions. Because I have seen people who will tell you, we will never marry but then after a few days, you see him marrying the second or third wife, but he was the one who was saying in the past, I will never marry I respect my wife. I don't know, I don't want to see her been upset. But now what happened? What changed? You know, they still marriage. So that's why even if he has the intention of not to marry in the future, it is not good for him to accept these type of conditions.
He just when he called tell them, I don't want to agree with this. Either they cancel it. Or they
tell him we apologize, we decline? Then he goes look for somebody else that is 100% Better for you.
Jake, do you have any other advices for this period, where the * is happening? In what sense? Before we move forward to the walima and other paths or for the spirit of Nikka any other advices or suggestions that you would like to before we close very simple, not scary, you know cultures as long as they're not by violating the Sharia. They are okay but make it very simple.
And this and that. And then what follows is
the rest of the marriage activities. Yeah, that's that's it. So, any other thing I will say as I said, we have already covered those conditions and
the possible you know, condition that a person might stipulate in the marriage we have already talked about that. So my general advice is to make the marriage very simple
channel that is akmola Handshake for joining us for part one, we'll be taking a quick break, and then we'll be back for part two Inshallah, where we are going to be discussing about the walima WhatsApp
builds during the walima and the period after that that leads to the rest of the marriage this to all the viewers for tuning in See you in the next session Salaam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh