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How to reignite the passion in your marriage

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Habib Bobat

Channel: Habib Bobat

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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What do you do as a couple to have fun? What do you do as a couple to do something extraordinary. It's quite common for couples to get stuck in the day to day grind of life, where you paying the bills, picking up the kids running errands for the home, seeing to the syncing to that it's pretty much mundane, and you are basically living a life of routine. So the question is when last, did you do something out of the ordinary? When last? Did you do something extraordinary? When last? Did you go out of your way to create a special moment?

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Many of us have got a lot of answering to do in that department.

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We lost that I have something special with my partner. You see, when you ask many people, do you love your partner? And the answer will be yes, I love my partner. But I'm not sure. I'm not so sure. If the spark is still there. I'm not so sure if the passion is still alive. And that's where we need to work on. Because when the spark leaves the relationship, that's when the marriage becomes pretty much Dow Calanus, colorless and mundane. If you look at the lives of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam, in the Sahaba of the Allahu taala, I'm home, they were spontaneous moments. They were moments out of the ordinary where they created love and muhabba amongst himself. I mean, look at

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this example of the prophets of Allah Ali Salam racin with Aisha Radi Allahu Taala Anna, that's extraordinary, that's going out of your way to do something that will remember your partner will remember for a very long time. So they had a race. And the prophet of allah sallallahu alayhi. Salam raised with her in Medina. And she won.

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And then they had a race sometime later, and the Prophet of Allah one, and he said to her affectionately, now we are equal. Now we are equal, I want you and you also want me. So this is creating extraordinary moments. It's these memories that you cherish later on in life. I'm asking you, if you close your eyes now, how many pleasant memories? And how many occasions? Can your partner think of as a couple?

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Or is it just fighting? Is it just mundane activities is it just chose the day remember with you? Look at this example of the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam, it's amazing. It is amazing. Going out of your way to create special memories of one another.

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That is the Hadith of the prophets of Allah Ali Salam. He's observing the RT curve in the masjid. But look how romantic This is.

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Look how romantic This is. He puts his head out of the tent where he's making the article F. And I shall read the Allahu taala, under the beloved consort of the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam starts to comb the hair of the Prophet sallallahu sallam. Isn't this amazing? On the one hand, it's an intimate moment with your Creator. Your article is meant to disconnect from everything in the world, and to solely focus on Allah subhanho wa taala. Yet on the other hand, the Prophet of Allah has been spontaneous. He's going out of his way to create time for him and his wife. Isn't this amazing? This is amazing. He's teaching us the balance. And he's telling us don't get stuck in the mundane things

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of life, where you forget to enjoy the beautiful moments together. Whether it's eating together, whether it's racing with one another, whether it's simple things like to meet each other's Hey, Allahu Akbar. Isn't this amazing? I shadow the Allah Allah Allah says Kooning to aura Judo Shara Rasulullah, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, whatever. However, I used to comb the hair of the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam. Once I was in my monthlies while I was in my monthly menstruation amazing. She says that the newbie of Allah would place his head in my lap,

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and he would recite Quran while I would be busy giving him a massage or combing his hair. Isn't this amazing? Isn't this a memory that she is able to share with the greater OMA because it was so pleasant and touching to her as a lady. And that's what I'm saying that we need to create fun moments. Don't just talk about bills and finances and budget and school fees and homework and chores of the house. That must continue. But don't lose the spark in your

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Marriage, create time for one another, create time for one another, create special moments where it's only you and your partner, not the kids. They are part of the relationship. But at the end of the day, you also have a special bond with your partner. So go out of your way, create special moments, once a month go out is a couple, only you and your partner.

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Once a month, when you go out, dress up for one another, I want you to think of your initial days when you are married. Things would come on naturally,

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you will put in the extra effort, you will take the time to beautify yourself, you will take the time to be attractive for your wife, you chose the place to dine, you chose the moment you prepared for it. What happened to that? What happened to that now that spontaneity is no longer there. That same spark needs to be rekindled in the marriage, create that once a month occasion, where you go out is a couple and you dress up for one another. You take the extra effort, you have that special moment together. And then when you look back, wow, you've got memories to cherish. And I must about this about my husband. And was this about my wife, I look forward to this, I look forward to that.

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So prepare in advance point number one.

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Look at your shedule

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even if it means in two weeks time, even if it means in three weeks time that you're planning something special, do it. Point number two, if you've got some pressing issues that you want to discuss with your partner, let it be after the special moment. Don't go there. And you spoil the special occasion because now you are talking about finances or something that you want to bring up. That's irking you, you spoil the moment, just enjoy each other's company. When you are newly married, you weren't going to restaurants and talking about problems, you were talking about romantic stuff, you can still do so even 20 years after you are married. So don't spoil the occasion

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by talking about mundane things of the home, you know, I need to do this, I need to do that. And I think I need to do this. That's going to spoil the occasion. Point number three, it doesn't have to be expensive. You don't have to go to an exotic location. A ordinary takeout or an ordinary simple meal that you're going to have together is good enough to strengthen the relationship.

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Point number four, appreciate each other when you are together. When you are together, you say good things to one another express positive sentiments. And remember, every special moment that you have together will strengthen your relationship will help you cross the daily hurdles of life. We'll help you get over the issues that you are struggling with in your marriage. So be spontaneous at times.

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At times, you come with some surprise to home at times have it pre planned. So have special moments. So what I'm emphasizing on is have special moments. And remember to have special moments it doesn't have to be expensive. A daily walk together watching the sunrise or the sunset, or just chit chatting with one another besides mundane things are giving each other a scrub or giving each other a massage or combing each other's Hey, all these things are creating special memories for your partner. Something to cherish, something to cherish before you go to bed before you retire to bed. Why don't you spend a few moments relaxing.

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You know giving your partner a nice back massage or shoulder rub or something like that. These moments are going to go a long way in your marriage. It's gonna go a very long way. Don't get stuck in the mundane things of life. May Allah subhanahu wa taala bless us all. May Allah give us the ability to inspire ourselves from the life of the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam and his beloved partners, that Maha mean, I share with you the examples of eyeshadow, the lowdown on how they would go out of the way to create special moments. She says when we were eating, the Prophet of Allah would eat from the same place from the same utensil. When I would drink you take the utensil and

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drink from the same place where it came from. And we even had Osel together, obviously in its proper context, but this is all memories. Memories. Leave your partner with

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Good memories so that when you are not around at least they have something to think of. May Allah subhanaw taala bless us all army